Alexis & David's Friendship Timeline - Schitt's Creek

someone keeps eating my yogurt ah what kind of yogurt i was saving that for after my run david oh my god i guess i was saving it for during your run though [Music] children keep an eye on these bags apparently in hell there's no bellman david shut up you shut up you shut up um you shut up you shut up i need that bad why because i need it why because if someone were to break in here in the middle of the night wanting to murder us they would attack this bed first so i need this bed so you're saying that you want me to get murdered first in front of you and then what would you do would you just run away and leave me to bleed out on the floor uh sort of that was the plan yeah okay well you can have the bed when i leave well where are you going stavros is flying in to get me i told you that what do you mean stavros is coming what do you mean when when is he doing that like whenever stupid mary kate stops hogging his plane well where are we going okay at present he's just coming for me but then i figured that we would just come back and grab you guys at some point what kind of sociopath abandons her family in some vomit-soaked dump to gallivant around the world with her dumb shipping air loser boyfriend she's known for three months um david it will be four months next month oh my god and he just told me that he could potentially see himself considering saying i love you at some point sometime soon so that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard i'm telling mom telling mom and dad have you told them no david i'm waiting for the right opportunity okay otherwise dad's gonna cry and mom's gonna do that thing or she where she pretends that nothing's wrong and then just doesn't talk to me for five months and i don't want that well i need this bed i need it so you know what david you get murdered first for once no you get murdered david you get murdered first no you you heard it first you got murdered have you seen my black shoe it's a lace-up probably lost in the sea of your dirty clothes no what is going on here why are your clothes crammed under my bed it's just temporary storage david look at your things look at your life i have been distracted why is this wet oh because i kicked over a glass of water that you left on the floor i wasn't drinking water okay so maybe it was mine what difference does it make someone keeps eating my yogurt ah what kind of yogurt i was saving that for after my run david oh my god i guess i was saving it for during your run then oh you're like a big dirty raccoon david what's going on i think mutt and i ended things you think okay here's a serious question are you capable of making an executive decision it's done um what happened i don't know like we were talking and then we just like didn't talk for a long time okay that's it no and then we talked about why we weren't talking and then we both agreed that even though the sex was amazing like amazing there was this one time in the barn where i climbed up onto this rafter but yeah i know i think we're i think we're good yeah anyway we both agreed that we just been lusting after each other for such a long time that that's what we were holding on to and not what was right in front of us which was what what what was right in front of you when okay okay so anyway it's done and it's just really weird because i've never felt anything after a breakup like nothing like i've been to doctors about it but this time it's different well that's good i think he changed me a bit like he knows me i let him know me you know i think i need a hug or something you what i need a hug ah david will you please give me a hug yes yeah did you get new bedding um yeah i did but it's a write-off so i know anyway okay so you have to keep it upright i don't even want to do this david you're gonna feel so good trust me my god you know that i have bad foot eye coordination you didn't have to wear corrective leg braces for three months you can't blame everything on having been pigeon-toed david oh my god dude your mother and i are gonna oh my god david what are you doing i'm teaching him how to ride a bike oh please don't you know i can't stand the side of blood seriously son you're going to hurt yourself it is one foot on the pedal and one foot on the ground and then get the hell out of here okay you know what that means okay i'm i'm going to hold the bag he's coming come on david the petals make it move more god he's doing it you're doing it son oh my god okay someone get my camera nobody get a camera david over here i don't know why you didn't ask me first david i have my license in seven different countries and i have my f-class isn't that for transport trucks yes well i had a lot of people to move anyway it's not a big deal you just get in you do what they tell you and then you get out and you wear your best hair perfume okay i don't have hair perfume and not all of us can flirt our way into getting a driver's license okay you try parallel parking in a burka david no amount of flirting can get you out of that trust me okay the big difference is that nothing seems to give you anxiety which is actually sort of concerning oh that reminds me can you hold the wheel for a second i need to check my oh god i'll tell you what's not helping me right now this okay relax david anyone's had a seven-year-old drive me around mumbai so i'm pretty sure you're cool to steer for a sec okay okay breaths [Music] breaths okay i'm gonna need you to step out of the car for 20 minutes so that i can do my transcendental meditation before i fail this test okay you are acting all sorts of crazy right now this honestly does not matter nobody cares uh people care i care the driving examiner person cares no he doesn't trust me people aren't thinking about you the way that you're thinking about you what does that mean you always overthink everything and that's why you fail all the time thank you alexis well it's true okay just because everything falls in your lap doesn't mean that it falls in everyone else's what does what what falls in my lap stuff things opportunities things don't fall in my lap okay i'm just saying that you've always just gotten stuff without realizing that other people don't skate through life the same way you do i don't skate through life david i walk through life in really nice shoes and i'm sorry if that rubs you the wrong way but maybe if you could just relax for a second and stop worrying about everything everything would be easier for you and what i'm saying is that things haven't been as easy for me as they've been for you um yes they have no they haven't and now i'm even more stressed out than when i got in the stupid car thank you very much for your help alexis hey i'm the one that's supposed to be getting out of this stupid car david the driving man's coming oh my god david nobody cares i got it okay so i assume you got your license and you're not just driving us home illegally i did good i knew how was your tester guy was he a monster he was fine distracted transitioning to a career as a dj but apparently none of the venues around here could handle his sound see they told you he didn't care you never trust me yes i do no you don't yes i do no and you never take my advice and i'm always the last person you turn to what do you want me to say but what makes me different than stevie or mom you trust them with stuff okay you want to talk trust stevie and mom weren't running around the world for a decade and a half with random men leaving me at home to wonder whether they were okay well i'm sorry for having fun david with a selection of very confident international men but i was always okay were you because i was the one at the consulate sending you temporary passports and colored contact lenses whenever you needed them i was the one at home not having fun because i was constantly worried which east asian palace alexis was being held hostage in this week not mom and dad me well you didn't have to worry about me well i did david my nails aren't dry yet how alexis i stumbled upon ted in the cafe this morning he sends his regards snace um what did he say nothing we merely exchanged familial smiles he seemed quite taken with an older woman so i thought best not to intrude love that for him i mean that could have been anyone though right like a mother or a close friend they were canoodling in the banquet for all to see so i'd be rather concerned if that were his mother david okay um in other news i recently discovered that i'm allergic to pitted fruit noodling oh um did she have like a braid in her hair no no braid uh look more like thick healthy hair woven together loosely i can't believe he's still dating heather i know it's crazy i believe that was her name heather okay do we have somewhere to be alexis he doesn't still hold any interest for you no it's not as if you've been spending all your time holed up in your room alone yeah no i'm just like taking time for me good that's the most important relationship of all don't you give another thought to ted and his striking older lover okay i am going for a jog okay um but you're in like a day dress mm-hmm okay i have never heard someone say so many wrong things one after the other consecutively in a row david how was i to know that ted would be such a trigger all these years later a year later and she is like right back in it so you might want to pay a little more attention to your daughter's life if only to alleviate the weight of me having to deal with it every day oh i i did call that other woman charming didn't i striking i believe was the word you used to describe ted's new girlfriend who isn't alexis well to my credit she was thank you so much for taking me out david i really needed it especially after everything that's going on with mom okay is that the reason or is it because i'm on a buying trip and that means you get free samples we make a very good team david you do the talking and i sample the merchandise and speaking of we might have to circle back and get more of these peanut butter things from those old farm witches they were mennonites and i would put the peanut butter square down we're about to spend the afternoon sampling a lot of cheese hmm nom nom for us never say nom nom again anyway this is a very important account for me i've been trying for the past little while to secure an exclusivity deal with this vendor but she's very picky about her retailers everyone's trying to get greasy hands on her cheese hey david wait warner farms does this cheese woman have animals on her farms like goats does she have goats we're about to sample some goat's cheese so i would imagine she has goats on her farm this is heather warner's farm david i know no like heather heather like ted's heather what she's like 50. she's 42 and i know okay you know what i can't have your personal drama storming over my business dealings right now so i think it's best if you got out of the car and walked home walked home that would take like 15 minutes david that's absolutely not happening anyway don't worry about me i'll be fine okay um then maybe it's best if you stayed in the car with the windows down stop it david i'm not a baby wow well this looks delicious thank you so much for having us this quiche is a treat i didn't know you'd gotten into prepared foods i haven't i just made this for lunch but if you've ever had her quiche you can definitely say that it is excellent so how is it you know each other um well well alexis and i just worked together she used to be my receptionist that's how i know your voice you answered the phones at the vets clinic yes well i mean like technically i had more responsibility than just answering the phones oh and ted is the vet that you said you were dating yes okay because when you said vet i thought you meant like a war vet yeah no definitely not a war vet damn these fallen arches i mean i must have called there every day for months yes okay okay david see now this all makes sense mm-hmm the quiche is vivacious and that is not a word i use to describe quiche often but you know when the time is right you know alexis i feel like i really need to thank you have you not passed along all those messages to ted i mean look what happened i feel like we owe you or something well she's a very generous person well if you are looking for a way to thank me i know that david is looking for exclusivity on your products oh she is good okay i'm in well that is why she is one of our finest interns well that went well yeah you didn't have to do that it just like hate how good this cheese is thank you now that wasn't the most comfortable situation to be in i'm just glad ted's found someone so stable and healthy you're in love with him aren't you yes [Music] hey can you give me a ride to ted's it's basically on the way to patrick's it's in the opposite direction and i'm not going to patrick's tonight why because we don't have plans tonight he has plans with someone else who okay can you utilize like a little bit more of the english language if you must know i sent patrick off to have dinner with that guy who gave him his number today that hot piece from the store why would you do that because i think it's funny and i also think it's important for patrick to experience other people in order to realize how good he has it with me what if he doesn't come to that realization every time i did that with a boyfriend i'd set them off with someone who like wasn't a threat like peppa middleton or rihanna okay well i hardly think ken is a threat um tell that to his million dollar smile david okay so what are the gr's the what the ground rules what ground rules did you lay down before you sent him off with that hotty boom body okay i haven't sent him off with ground rules because this is a one-night thing did you say that no so at this point he could like spend the night double dip kiss on the lips i don't know okay this is why you have ground rules david josh grovin has a thick leather-bound binder full of them patrick didn't even want to do this i basically forced him into it is it too late for any amendments i thought this was a good idea and now you're making me feel like i made a mistake okay you haven't made a huge mistake yet david we probably won't find out about that until tomorrow okay i have never been in this position before usually i'm the one finding out i'm in an open relationship after the fact and now you're making me feel like i've just shipped my boyfriend off to fall in love with someone else oh i was supposed to go to dinner with ted david then go for dinner with ted but now i feel like i should be here for you why let's just hope we don't find out what hey ted i'll be there soon but i just can't leave david alone right now yeah no apparently they left for dinner at seven radio silence nothing not a word anyway i will be there soon and i love you so much okay oh my god imagine this is not how i wanted to spend my night me neither and david i know what you're thinking they're probably back at his house listening to frank ocean laughing and rehydrating yeah the more i think about this the more i realized it was way too early to have introduced this into the relationship i mean i thought i was being mature but in actuality it was just a classic case of self-sabotage kill david hey yes those are all valid points but this is a moment of growth for you was it flawlessly executed no would i have done it hell no okay if this is intended to be helpful you can leave now but what i was gonna say is if a cute guy that walks into your store is enough to unravel your whole relationship you're better off knowing that now than any year from now do i want to hear about it i couldn't do it come in i don't want to date ken i don't think i ever said date was it the lack of ground rules hi david i love you and i really appreciate what you were trying to do for me but i feel no need to meet up with other guys right now okay i mean if that's what you want then i guess i'm i'm fine with it i mean i'm easy either way also this is gonna sound totally petty but something about his shoes just made me feel really weird cause they were like long and pointy but then squared off at the toe yes yeah yeah yeah yeah i know i know it's okay it's okay oh my god david i totally forgot about your wedding dream book um where did you find that um i was looking for an earring and i found it under your pillow anyway you did it you manifested your wedding and i'm like literally stunned you're stunned yeah but like in a good way like think of all the people on the planet who find someone somehow you're one of those people i don't know how to take that i mean you didn't end up marrying jc chaze or jenna elfman but i actually feel like patrick's kind of the best of both of them mm-hmm oh so are you still gonna do keira knightley's green dress from atonement as my maid of honor look you know what i haven't got to that stage in the planning process yet so i'm not quite sure okay well i'm here for a month so you better put me to work while you can come in it isn't our very own little jc chazee who ooh we've been over that um we should probably go though oh where are my favorite groom and david off to [Laughter] we are taking patrick to get his suit fitted what kind of suit hopefully my wedding suit oh my god well i'll just grab my bag and come with you know what i don't even know if that's necessary honestly david it's fine i'm your maid of honor um okay read that you weren't supposed to be here for six months so i might have asked someone else okay well i'm here now so who did you ask if you say ronnie oh i don't think she would have said yes does not like him um i asked stevie david you'd better be talking about stevie nicks stevie said yes i mean he was more of a reluctant cheer okay well it sounds like she doesn't actually want to do it so why don't i just come with and i will gently take it off her hands fine but i don't want any hurt feelings cause the last thing we need right now is interpersonal conflict eclipsing my hour day imagine what i can do with your bachelor party david diplo still sends me nudes it's a dj okay what do we think bow tie or no bow tie oh no i sort of feel like bow tie is kind of classic no okay you sort of made it seem like you weren't sure i'm not sure but i also very much am well also black bow ties photograph better i should know i once hooked up with three different gq men of the year at the gq men of the year party okay sorry i'm probably not the person to ask for fashion stuff um speaking of maid of honor duties stevie thoughts on david's bachelor party uh oh i think i was just gonna see what david wanted to do okay i'm super easy although i did find a gorgeous ryokan in hakone with a hot spring fed onsen on the balcony private chef optional but i'm open to other ideas okay hot tip it often makes for less stress if you just plan it yourself and then tell the bride after okay stevie not so hot on that tip okay okay i'm starting to realize that there's a lot more to this job than i thought tell me about it i once planned megan fox's bachelorette on this tiny island off the coast of montenegro where nothing is illegal like nothing okay are you sure you shouldn't do this because i mean you're here now you're david's sister and you're clearly better suited for the job oh my god stevie i get why you and everyone else would be asking that question but the answer is like maybe what am i doing well we can just crossfade responsibilities no what am i doing with my life i am now unemployed in my 30s for the second time in a week i left your dad high and dry at the motel and now i'm okay all of what you're saying may be very very true which is why i will not let you give up this job you can do this and if you can't i will be here for the whole month to help you through it bring it in girl oh no i don't think you need to be okay oh hey what do we think about this one oh my god since when did james bond shop in elm glen so that's a yes yes um we still need to pick a tie ah so what does our maid of honor think which one is your favorite hmm yes can we just get married already i'm kidding i want pageantry that takes months and months to plan of course you do you look so good it fits in the shoulders yeah you can button it up wow so what happened she was ready to hand over the crown no she was but i feel like she needs it more than i do wow who are you i know right like what's happening to me going soft but don't worry i won't tell anyone anyway it might kill me on the day but i'm glad that she actually found something to distract herself speaking of the day i have a better job for you okay i think it would be a weird look for me to be a flower girl at my age david i've thought about it and i want you to give me away oh my god david it's like arguably the most important role of the wedding a simple yes or no is fine no need to pull focus okay i do great although now that i think about it i could also be the flower girl like come out first wearing a gown made entirely of flowers and just walk down the aisle and loop back absolutely not and then quick outfit change and then we're up i take it back and ask jocelyn hey enough david is that you yeah oh my god you're getting married today i am and according to the wedding schedule you're supposed to be dressed and ready to greet me greet you what is that thank you david you look very expensive and gorgeous too it's it's white you're wearing a white dress duh it's black and white themed what was i supposed to show up in pink or black you're wearing a wedding dress to my wedding this is not a wedding dress it's a white floor-length gown it's very different did it come with a veil no it came with a headdress ah what it came with like a white tulle headdress but i thought that it overwhelmed the dress so i decided not to wear it you're walking me down the aisle in a wedding dress everyone's gonna think we're getting married to each other ugh come in you look nice thank you now stevie as my maid of honor does it not look like alexis is wearing a wedding dress or just like a dress that happens to be white i don't want to get involved you don't have a choice you work for me today so much for the massage i mean i don't think it's gonna look like a wedding dress unless you guys are standing next to each other she's walking me down the aisle i don't think you should worry about it i'm sure this town has seen far weirder things okay everybody chill my brother is getting married today still feels so weird to say that so drink up david it's your big day and we love you right stevie right is that a bow in the back don't david okay can you please stop doing that you're making me nervous i'm sorry i just like i've been thinking a lot about it and i think you're right i know about what like i think i'm wearing a wedding dress oh i know that i really wanted to impress you today and now i feel like i'm ruining your wedding i think you're giving yourself a lot of credit my wedding was already ruined but for what it's worth i am continuously impressed by you now can you please walk me down the aisle before people lose interest hey david it would be my honor okay hey i love you [Music] the best [Music] is it me or do they look like husband in my life kind of [Music] you're simply the best [Music]

Channel: Schitt's Creek

Views: 170,045

Keywords: Schitt's Creek, Schitts Creek, SchittsCreek, Pop TV, POpTV, PopNow, Pop Now, schitt’s creek clips, official schitt’s creek, schitt’s creek episodes, dan levy, Daniel levy, eugene levy, Catherine o’hara, annie murphy, emmys, comedy, episodes, tv show, funny, comedy videos, schitts creek, schitt’s creek, schitts creek clips, official schitts creek, schitts creek episodes, daniel levy, catherine o’hara, Alexis, Alexis Rose, Noah Reid, Alexis’s Past, shits creek, Alexis and David

Id: LF40i8ENHxA

Length: 32min 9sec (1929 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 08 2021