AITA for refusing to financially help my family after they abandoned me even if it means..

what's up guys welcome to professor reddit this is your host aways this podcast is about all sorts of stories stories about people's day-to-day lives problems and incidents okay let's get started enjoy story one am i the for refusing to financially help my family after they abandoned me even if it means they'll end up homeless i feel like this is such a cliche-ridden story but i'm really struggling with what to do here so i'm my mother's oldest biological child when i was five my father passed away and she remarried my stepdad when i was eight when i was nine i was sent away to live with my father's sister who lived stays away because her husband didn't want me to live there anymore they used to pay my aunt some money to watch me but when i was 14 that stopped my aunt and uncle worked low-paying jobs and had two of their own children so they really couldn't afford the extra expense of having me around without that help despite that they let me stay and continue to treat me like one of their own i very rarely saw my mom i think i saw her five times between nine and 18. she never even called she went on to have three more children 19 meters 18f and 16 meters with my stepdad growing up i used to stalk my siblings and parents on social media to see what their life was like and it was polar opposite to mine they regularly went on expensive vacations lived in a massive house and owned the latest gadgets etc i went to college and got married at 23 my mother siblings have no idea i'm married i'm currently 28 and doing well financially my husband and i own our own home we have several very profitable investments and work high paying jobs my cousins 30th and 27f and i all contributed to help my unslash uncle to finally purchase their own home last year recently my mom showed up to my aunt's house begging for financial help apparently my stepdad suffered from a gambling addiction a few years ago and lost all their savings now with covered he's lost his job and they can't afford to keep their house without help my aunt explained she didn't have any money to help her and when my mother demanded to know how she could afford her new house if she had no money she explained what me and my cousins had done my mom then asked for my number when she called me and explained the situation i told her i couldn't help she kept begging me and claimed my siblings would be made homeless if i didn't help them i told her maybe she should sell some of their fancy stuff or they could all get jobs like my cousins and i had to i hung up before she could reply since then i have been receiving message after message from my mom my siblings and even my stepdad begging me for help i have never spoken to my siblings in my life they've begun harassing my husband and my sill they've also reached out to my aunt and cousins multiple times trying to get them to convince me to change my mind i'm so angry with them all they threw me away and when they need something they come crawling back but the guilt is also starting to set in and i don't know if i'm being an am i now you heard the post here are the replies of readers so a bunch of strangers and a woman you knew when you were a young child are begging you for money them nta if they didn't think you were the easiest means to recover their lifestyle you would never have heard from them nta they made their bed now they've got to lay on it if they are so desperate for cash they've got assets and objects they can sell they can get less paying jobs but that can mean an income and they can figure out how to live their lives without you as they have for so many years sorry you got that mother op but sounds like your aunt plus uncle plus cousins gave you a lovely home all the same nta your mom and step dad basically sent you to the farm because he didn't want you around and then went on to have more kids and a happy family without giving you a second though they aren't your family your family are your cousins aunts and uncles that raised you and took care of you don't give those strangers a single penny or listen to them when they start up with half-assed apologies or demands that you pay them back the money they sent your aunt and uncle nta or thousand times the entitlement is sky high even if they were trying to reconnect you wouldn't be an r but they aren't even giving you the courtesy of pretending to do that they can downsize they can get jobs just like you said otherwise they dug the whole air in themselves you don't owe them ascent now story two enjoy am i the for not punishing my daughter for cursing and telling my husband my decision is final and he doesn't get a say this time this is going to be one of the most silliest posts but here we go i have a 9 almost 10 year old daughter who got her first period recently it was kinda a shock to see her get one so early i never had the mensuration talk with her and we sat down for it i didn't even get to say much i just said that it's a natural process and that it's gonna happen every month for the next 40 years and she yelled this and went to her room i have never heard her curse before and frankly given the context i found it hilarious i mean i can't even blame her for having that reaction my husband heard it and thinks she is too young to curse and we must punish her i told him he doesn't understand and that it's okay to give her a pass this time he kept pushing and i just snapped and told him that we aren't punishing her for this and he doesn't get a say because he doesn't understand and that's final if anything me and my husband are to be blamed for not preparing her i can't even imagine how scared she must have been when she saw all that blood with no context and now i'm telling her that it's gonna happen monthly for decades who wouldn't have that reaction he mumbled and grumbled but let it go but he definitely thinks that i'm being lenient and irritated because it's his daughter too and i shouldn't have said he doesn't get a say am i the now you heard the post here are the replies of readers nta while i wouldn't normally condone swearing in kids this young and i'm perfectly okay with parents banning swearing altogether she had a bloody good reason this time pun not intended seriously her response is all of us nta my philosophy on cursing and bad languages that the only truly bad words are the words you use to hurt someone else using slurs or cursing at someone such as you mom for example would be something that i could see requiring a consequence cursing his emphasis such as in this hurts no one i might have a talk with your daughter about language and how you don't want her to make cursing a habit and explain to her that in places like school she could get in trouble for using that language but i think punishing her would only make her resentful and more upset right now the most important thing is probably to support her through this life change absolutely not the this poor girl didn't know her vagina was going to explode every month for the next 40 years that i wouldn't even be mad either i would probably say hey remember we can't actually say that but also i would tell her it was funny and i'm not mad your husband doesn't have an exploding vagina or uterus so he does actually get a little bit less say in my opinion it's not a huge deal unpopular opinion but a little bittish i guess i don't think she needed to be punished probably just talk to about it but i do think it was rude for you to tell him he had no say if he doesn't want his young kids to curse that's his right you aren't his mom you're his partner talk it out explain your reasoning tell him you'll remind her that you don't condone that language and if it becomes a habit she will have consequences but you understand this was an extreme circumstance so she can have a one-time pass i just don't think parents should get in the habit of making unilateral decisions the kids will often notice that one parent is actually in charge so they won't respect the other one plus it will lead to fights between the partners it's better to just communicate and compromise and go down that road eater also saying in that's final was pretty condescending and if a partner dared say that to me i'd probably be pissed now story three enjoy am i the for asking my gf to pay for a new prosthesis i m24 had an auto accident over two years ago that resulted in a left leg knee amputation i thought that would be the end of my active lifestyle i loved all kinds of sports as a kid and i still do i had a very hard time adjusting to my new normal my parents were able to get me a prosthetic leg that allowed me to get back to running and going trips with my friends like we always do every summer the guys were planning an rv trip on the weekend we had already chosen a destination which was spending some time out in nature and get away from stress my girlfriend asked if she could come along i told her no this is a guy's trip told all my buddhist girlfriends wanted to go but they were firm and put their foot down she laughed at me for this then tried to convince me to let her come cause she was feeling stressed out from being at home 24 h i already made up my mind i wasn't going to ruin the trip just because she wants to be on a guy's trip i promised her a trip when i get back she got upset and didn't like the idea later on before i went to sleep i took my prosthesis off as i do every night this is my second prophecies i've already completed a wearing schedule during first year and had to get another prophecies to accommodate any physical changes i had i woke up in the morning and i couldn't find my prosthesis i looked where i put it but it was gone i asked my girlfriend who was doing heavy cleaning around the place and she said she didn't see it i was confused it was near my bed i asked her to stop being childish and playing games and give back my prosthesis because i knew she took it she's a bad liar couldn't even deny it she said she wanted to hide it so that i won't go on that trip and leave her alone i got mad at her for this i was stunned to find my prosthesis hidden underneath an auto part in the garage it had been damaged it was placed in a possession where it had a crack it was obvious it no longer functions properly i mean i could still wear it but can't put my whole weight on it cause it would break i yelled at her and showed her what she did she said she didn't mean it i told her she did mean it because she was being childish and jealous over a trip and now she caused me seven thousand dollars worth damage i told her she ruined everything that she owed me a new one and that she needed to pay for a new one she got mad and left i basically had to use my old crutches it felt absolutely horrible i called the guys and told them i wasn't coming it's been a few days she's mad at i'm still asking her to pay for a new prosthesis and called me an asterisk asterisk asterisk for not apologizing and preferring a plastic leg over her i had to call my parents today to tell them they told me she should at least help pay half the expense of a new prosthesis since she caused damage to it and then consider my relationship with her have i been an asterisk asterisk asterisk to her edit for those asking about where i am i'm in asia from philippines now you heard the post here are the replies of readers wtf this is not only abusive but so low that i can't even begin to wrap my head around it this is demented nta she needs to pay for it in full and you need to take your parents advice and really re-examine this relationship she degraded you disrespected you and with a medical device in her attempt to control you this is so far from okay and the biggest brightest red flag that i have seen in a long time nta at all it was detestable of her to take your prosthesis from you in the first place like utf does that and then placing it carelessly somewhere and damaging it please reconsider being in a relationship with a person who would do something like that if she doesn't pay i would look into suing her seven thousand dollars is a lot of money plus the pain and suffering of not having a freaking leg until you can get a new one custom made and paid for nta what the absolute is wrong with her she took your leg she took your leg so you wouldn't leave her for two days just a single weekend with your buddies even when you told her you have one with her alone but later in my eyes what she did is unforgivable by doing what she did she damaged your quality of life because you wouldn't give in to her demands she has to repay for the damage she's done and i encourage you to reaccess your relationship with her seriously nta you are in the right here mate i don't think she ruined your prosthesis on purpose but she was acting very childish regarding the whole thing you are entitled to go on lad's trip as she is entitled to go on a girl's trip you can still have a trip together later on if she has any issues with you going she could discuss them with you but hiding your prophecies wow i'm speechless good thing she didn't tie you up and chuck you into the basement at this rate now story 4 enjoy am i the for refusing to be a living nanny for my brother and sil so i 22f have just graduated university i worked part-time the whole four years and occasionally babysit my brothers 30 kids 5 f and three meters to earn some extra money i still lived at home and still do and managed to save up a bit i planned on going traveling to take some time out before i look for full-time work however my plans are on hold for now the part-time job i did have which was a constant source of income has closed up as the company has shut down i'm actively looking for a job but a lot of places aren't hiring so the only kind of money i get is from watching my niece and nephew or unemployment benefit which isn't a whole lot i was watching the kids one night recently where my brother and sil came back when the kids were in bed they said they wanted to talk to me about making the babysitting a more kind of permanent job until i found something better they said they wanted to pay me to be a nanny and basically watch the kids on a more full-time basis whilst they were both at work i initially thought this sounded great as it meant i could do full-time work during the week spend some time with the kids still have weekends to myself and earn some money i asked if that's what they wanted and they came back with they wanted a living nanny and they had ridiculous requests for the job they wanted me to give up all freedoms and move into their spare room i couldn't go out to meet anyone or have any plans on my off time unless it was someone they know or pre-approved contact my work hours would be a standard 925 but i would have to be on a constant 24 over 7 notice period for the children i had to contribute to the household and do chores cook and clean any money i have saved is rendered null and void and must be handed over to them as security so i don't spend it all or make decisions that impact the household i would also have to get rid of my car which my dad pays for and give up my phone so they can get me a phone plan they pay for and can monitor and i couldn't drive my car only their one the list goes on but basically they wanted me to give up every aspect of my freedom to become i guess their house slave i told my brother and still to go to hell if they think i'd let them control my life and i told them to find someone else to babysit their kids i've since received texts from them both saying they're struggling with childcare and that i'm an idiot to turn down a job offer when i can't find anywhere else i told my parents all this and my mum thinks i should grin and bear it for a while and my dad is furious and says they are trying to control and abuse me i really could use the money so idk edit everyone overwhelmingly has stated they want to use the fact that i have failed to secure a job after graduation against me so i'm dependent on them and that i should in no way even consider this i have refused to babysit for them again and many have suggested i reach out to uk services to report them for violating labor laws or if they try to recruit someone else i think i will go nc for a long time with them and distance myself from my mother as my father seems to be the only one who has my back i will provide an update in due course once i figure stuff out now you heard the post here are the replies of readers nta and your dad is reacting appropriately these are absolutely disgusting demands and wildly illegal too they want you to become an actual domestic slave look it up thousands of people are victims of this every year you won't grin and bear it for a while if you do it it will destroy you mentally and financially nta listen to your dad that's insane and totally abusive there is no way they'd be even trying to enforce these requests on outside their family you'll find a job i'm sure it's just hell out there at the minute nta they want a slave and don't plan on paying you ever they told you they will keep your money as security this is slavery don't do it don't babysit ever again either tell your mom if she is so keen on this arrangement she should agree to do it and be her kid slave nta siblings don't equal supernanus my siblings try to push their kids off on my all the time the fact that they want you to drop your whole life just shows they plan on taking full advantage of you and use you for slave labor basically

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Id: VFvlD5MPbmE

Length: 18min 31sec (1111 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 23 2020