AITA For Refusing To Delete A Gps App That My Fiance Uses To Track Me [Reddit Relationships Advice]

hey guys check out our new channel for more edit relationship stories relationship hunt link in description enjoy the video am i the antagonist for objecting to my stepmother being buried in my maternal family plot my mom died when i 20 f was six my dad chose to let her be buried in her family plot knowing he would be buried there as well someday the family plot is huge is owned by my grandma's family as my mom's grandparents her uncle a niece and a nephew buried there as well as my mom my dad remarried 18 months later lately maybe in the last six months my father has been trying to get my extended family to agree to letting my stepmother be buried there technically the two of them they said no it's become a dispute between them he wants to be buried with my mom but doesn't want her to be left alone in death my stepmother told them since she had raised me longer than my mom she should have the honor of being included and that it would be nice for me to be buried with both moms and all three of my parents in march my grandma pulled me aside and asked me how i felt about it and would i like her to be buried there she said she wanted me to feel like i was included but didn't want me to be afraid of backlash from anyone i told her i didn't want my stepmother buried there she told me it was all she needed to hear fast forward to last weekend and my dad and stepmother were in town for a visit and my dad was complaining about it and saying my family were being unreasonable so i told him away from my stepmother that i had said no to and that he needed to figure something else out he was enraged he called me ungrateful and selfish and stormed off my stepmother asked me what happened and i told her she was really upset too they are saying i should have voted to have her be buried in the family grave that she deserved that after all those years of being my step mom i disagree but i know they are mad and it makes me wonder if they are a little right am i the antagonist now for the top comments nta your father and stepmother can go buy side by side plots of their own there is absolutely no reason they should be included in your maternal family's plot well there are some reasons they wouldn't ask if there was no reason the situation is that the mother sadly died young and was buried with her family and probably expecting her husband and child to eventually be buried there too he remarried which is no crime and the wife was a step parent to their child with no mention of abuse or being a horrible person so the dad wants to be buried in the family plot as expected but also not exclude his wife i'm not saying the family have to agree with them or that they have rights to be buried there but i can definitely see why they would ask that a good husband should stand by his wife unless she is abusive in some way and sadly this guy lost his wife and has another nta you were asked for your opinion and you gave it they'll get over being mad and if they don't that's on them that is the thing i love the most from this post ops mama's family are stops opinion did so privately respected it and didn't tell the father they sound amazing nta there are usually x amount of spots available in a family plot if your family allowed your father and his wife to be buried there that is minus two spots what if step brother wants to he buried with his mum that's minus three and possible minus four spots depending on his marital status she could be taking someone else's spot within the clan and that would impress no one she is your widowed father's new wife not a biological link where i'm from in historical plots you have to prove a blood relation to get a spot in the cemetery being the new wife of a widowed man would not make it so she could be buried in the plot unless it was his family who owned the plot it sounds to me like they just don't want to pay for new plots they can be dollar sign dollar sign dollar sign dollar sign especially if it's in an older or historical cemetery the fact that they are throwing a tantrum about it instead of coming up with alternate solutions bothers me to off the top of my head our cremation and mixing their ashes do they go into the earth together or spreading ashes between the family plot and a new one with his new wife his new family does not automatically get a spot in a matriarchal family plot it's rather unheard of where i'm from and would open up room to arguments later in the family welfax and his new wife got a split why can't my wives and stepsons get a spot my family has a firm rule no blood relation no spot you aren't married to a blood relation no spot currently there are only six spots left and there is serious fighting on who will get those last spots if you are having fights over limited plots a solution that's available in my area is stacking one on top of the other those six plots can go to 12 easily unless there is something like bedrock in the way the first to go gets buried at 12 feet one foot layer of stabilized sand over the top so they won't disturb the grave of the first when they bury the second sounds a little weird but it solves some issues it does however bring up other issues like headstands and who will go where but it might be some of the fighting good luck this is why i'm being cremated nta though it won't matter in 100 years in the words of a very wise man bang me eat me grind me up into little pieces throw me in the river who gives a [ __ ] you're dead you're dead i told my family to put me in a hourglass and use me at game night i will eat seal says that your time is up this round that's still horrific to me but i like it am i the antagonist for kicking my brother and his wife out of my mother's funeral if31 lost my mother three weeks ago to cancer it was devastating to say the least i've already lost my dad and my older brother and i was a only to care for my mother although i have a younger brother who now lives towns away with his wife and son the issue started when my brother and his wife were struggling with rent my mother agreed to let them move into my deceased brother's home under on condition and that is to not to throw away any furniture or try to make changes to the house since they were going to stay temporarily my brother and wife agreed to this condition but a month later my mom started missing my deceased brother's stuff his stuff were thrown away furniture as well and my brother's wife changed how the rooms look claiming the decoration wasn't her style my mom told them to stop but my brother's wife got into an argument with and when mai told them to leave brother's wife spread rumors that my mom kicked her when she was pregnant no one knew not even mom and turned the family against me and mom my brother and his wife cut contact few months later my mom reached out sent letters and wanted to work it out but my brother's wife blocked her and called her awful names she later gave birth to a boy and we didn't know till we saw a post on fb by coincidence my mom was sick at the time she invited them but sister-in-law refused to let my mom meet her grand baby sent gifts but were returned later my mom was devastated knowing she won't see her grand baby i tried to talk to my brother but i too was blocked my mom passed that was it i stopped trying it was too late my mom left some fun for her grand baby and told me to tell him about her when i get the chance i was shocked to see my brother and his wife arriving to the funeral i lost it when i saw them my sister-in-law came to extend her condolences i got into an argument with her and told them to leave sister-in-law said no hard feelings since i'm grieving but i got mad i kept yelling at them my aunt told me to back down but i insisted they left and others agreed with me but my aunt berated me and said this behavior was disgraceful she didn't expect this from me and said it was wrong i feel horrible my aunt spoke to my brother and she's been trying to get us to meet but i keep saying no now for the top comments nta not to be insensitive they didn't honor her when she was alive so why are they there to honor her when she's dead edit wow thank you for my first awards and up votes also i meant this as a rhetorical question haha inheritance edit wow thanks for the awards could also be to save face and try to keep the rest of the family on their side this they wanted to keep the illusion that they were wronged by the mother and were so forgiving and loving and the bigger person by coming to her funeral even after the mother's cruel behavior seems like it worked great i doubt ops outburst will be interpreted charitably in light of the rumors ntaop firstly i'm so sorry for what you are going through with losing your mom and having to deal with all this conflict it is such a crappy position to be in on the one hand you have all your grief mom's passing her cancer and grieving the loss of your brother who is still alive and the other is filled with your still and brother hurting you even more your still is out of line to say no hard feelings fck her she wants to be the hero who made amends no not now not this time you only have to deal with her when you feel ready we had a similar conflict with my dad's passing and funeral my mom and dad's younger brother got into a physical i kid you not fist fight at the funeral up speaking from experience and a lot of hurt please make your mental health a priority now take time to breathe after losing your mom don't allow people like your sill to manipulate you now to do things you don't want to your mom's passing is a separate issue from your cylinder made up drama don't let them use this is what mom would have wanted as leverage or to get what they want they cannot speak on her behalf all the best opus if you need someone to process this with you're more than welcome to reach out to me i'll listen without judgment as i've been where you are now it's a tty place honestly if they try to use the phrase this is what mom would have wanted i would say you know what mom would have wanted to see her grandchild when she was alive nta your brother might be grieving but he wasn't there for your mum while she was alive and he really hurt her and your family i was torn reading through this brother has some faults as well but i truly think he should have showed up on his own i can absolutely see him grieving too and wanting to say goodbye to his mother he would have deserved a tongue lashing still but maybe it wouldn't have been as insulting sill should not have been there at all i don't even think the brother had a right to be there he treated his mother like [ __ ] so what right does he have to be there with the people that actually cared about her ye this guys we don't even know had zero right to go to his own mother's funeral how dare he why the audacity come on am i the antagonist for not doing a fave my gf asks me to do my girlfriend constantly expects me to do favors for her which to me are beginning to feel like expectations i was sitting on the couch watching some youtube when she asks if i could get her hair scrunchy i told her i was watching a video right now and said i can get it when i got up she kept hounding me asking why i couldn't get it now i told her i'm busy right now and just relaxing i would get it when i got up she kept asking when i could get it and told her if you need it so badly why couldn't she just go upstairs and grab it this resulted in her getting it but then getting so upset with me saying i'm useless i'm a bad boyfriend and proceeded to tell me to go [ __ ] myself and go away i do small things for her all of the time i get her things all day long and i could have gotten her scrunchie for her just as easily as she could have gotten it herself so read it am i the antagonist now for the top comments saying i'm useless i'm a bad boyfriend and proceeded to tell me to go [ __ ] myself and go away this is the real problem how she treats you why do you tolerate such behavior from her not the a-hole this i ask my soul to do these small things for me quite often he is amazing at doing small things and will always go out of his way to help but it should never be an expectation if he said no i would just say thanks anyway and do it myself a good partner should never insult you because they didn't get their own way and the entitlement is terrible i would stop doing favors for her until she learned to treat you better if i didn't just break up i would lean towards a breakup in this situation assuming she is disabled and can do things independently even if she's disabled this is still not an acceptable way to treat someone no but then i can understand being at least upset because you literally can't do something verbal abuse is never acceptable sorry if that wasn't clear nta but have some self-respect she tells you to go f yourself because you won't get a hair tie busy or not that's unacceptable come on now my husband does this [ __ ] sometimes and i used to just do it because like what does it matter to me to take 30 seconds to do something but then i realized how stupid it is and how entitled it makes them and now i just sort of scoff at him up stop doing it like don't ever do it you'll train it right back out of her or she'll leave and you won't have to sew it anymore anyway not the a-hole my older sister mandy used to do this when we were kids i would be sitting on the couch bundled up in a blanket vibing on cartoons with my snacks and soda she would come into the room look at my drink and say oh i'm so thirsty can you get me a water i would look at her like she was crazy hell no i was here first you don't even like the show you can get your own water and snack because i'm not sharing my mom would then say it was the height of rudeness to tell someone no and not get them a water it is such a simple way she would say to show someone you care well i don't care i'm not inclined to help someone who is too lazy to get something for themselves she's got two leg knows how to use them lol and my parents said this all the time us too have your legs stopped working hands fell off when one of us would try and pull the do me a fave mate with our siblings it's different if they are headed to x to get why but not if they aren't open at the a-hole your gf is taking the piss nta i find it odd that so many people are asking for info about what she was doing while it's nice to do favors for those who love i'm struggling to come up with any situation in which you would be obligated to do this task and there's certainly any cause for her to insult you in such a manner even though i know nothing else about you i know that you deserve better than to be treated like that am i the antagonist for refusing to delete a gps app that my fiance is with me because it makes my friends uncomfortable so i 23 f go jogging every evening in my neighborhood and it's something i've done since i was a teenager it's one of the few forms of exercise that i can actually keep up with given i work a lot i have this gps tracking app that my fianc 25 male also an avid jogger uses with me when one of us goes out on our own just in case something were to happen like a fall or god forbid abduction we live in a rougher part of town as it's the only thing we can afford for now after both losing our jobs in 2020 three days ago i had some dinner with a few of my friends from my old job to catch up right after i went jogging and things were going good up until my fin called to ask if i was okay i forgot to let him know i had finished jogging and after a laugh we hung up my friend started asking me all sorts of questions and giving me the stink eye when i explained what it was for they all immediately started hounding me with fats really toxic doesn't he trust you it's the insecurity for me and sounds like has being controlling girl they all started saying how i need to delete the app because it disturbs them when i'm out with them but i flat out refused now i could understand if this wasn't about jogging but that's all it was about we never had any type of problems like they were suggesting so i pretty much told them that i'm sorry it bothers them but they needed to mind their business and that i'm not going to delete it since there's nothing wrong with it since then thievill pretty much told me that fear just trying to help me that him being rude for not seeing their point of view i'm starting to feel like maybe him being childish i don't mean to make them uncomfortable and unsure if they saw something wrong feed tell me we are friends after all am i the antagonist for refusing to delete the app i feel like i may be the [ __ ] because it makes them uncomfortable and i don't want to cause any of that but at the same time it's my phone and i feel i should do what i'd please with it edit i forgot to add that we both usually turn off our tracking app after each run on this particular day i decided to jog to the restaurant figuring that i could knock out two things at once and forgot to turn off the app i apologize for not clarifying this sooner now for the top comments [Music] nta remind the mewtwo like to keep track of each other use his gps location too and he'd agree to delete it if you insisted it's weird how low-key gang-ups are an accepted social behavior now me and my wife both have each other on google maps it's nice to know where the other person is if they've had an accident to pick something up at the store if they left work yet also she's been abducted too she's on the nervous side me and my wife also have each other for emergency use they are necessary i have a gps tracker in our commuter car it also has wiffy and roadside assistance i definition use it to see how long i should until my husband gets home so i can throw together dinnalol for some reason i read that ass so i can throw away his dinner lol like you make his dinner then maybe send him a picture then throw it away when he is at the end of the street nta totally valid reasons for having the app they need to mind their own business it doesn't affect them at all it is a valid reason my sister sends me her location when she is jogging that said i can see why they would be worried some people do demand their partner have location on all the time and i find that weird too it is controlling gps tracking apps are one of those things that is fun and often helpful in a healthy relationship and totally devastating in an unhealthy one my friend's abusive ex used to give him flak for what exit he took on his way home from work and gas led him into thinking all couples did this but you can be stupid controlling on a lot of platforms from social media to texting as my shitty ex proved it all depends on if you are with a controlling person ops relationship sounds like an example of healthy people watching each other's back yay it's something that compounds on other red flags but isn't much of a red flag by itself especially since both of them track each other if it was a one-way thing then that might be a bit weirder but as it's simultaneous it doesn't come across as bad as it could nta they meant well because sometimes controlling spouses track their so's location this is clearly not the case for you it would have been no way holes here but they were pushing it too hard emo why would having this app on your phone disturb them you don't police what apps they can and can't have on their phones i like this response a lot they are just as allowed to worry about your safety as your partner is let's face it statistically your romantic partner is a much likelier danger than a stranger abductor but they are not allowed to push and push when you've said you prefer it and feel safer for it also for the record this is the worst way to help someone if you are worried they are in a toxic or abusive relationship pushing and pushing your point only isolates them instead just make it clear you are there if they need you and as this comment said a gentle note about your concern is plenty e g are you sure you're comfortable with that i know sometimes that can feel controlling and you should be able to remove the app if you don't like it i also read you should try to focus on the behavior or feeling that's what i was trying for with that can feel controlling rather than attacking the partner sounds like your partner is a controlling person this is because attacking can make the person feel more defensive and they may now see you as someone who won't understand or listen to them or even blame them i'd say not the a-hole you're using it as a form of safety it's not like he uses it 24 over 7 to track you when he knows you're not out jogging i think your friends need to re-avail your their judgement on this there's a clear difference in doing it for safety reasons v controlling you

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Keywords: aita, askreddit, reddit aita, reddit open marriage, reddit, cheating reddit, reddit cheating wife, reddit cheating, aita update, reddit relationships, reddit update, reddit stories, reddit funny, reddit breakup stories, reddit confession, relationship STORIES, reddit family relationships, reddit relationship advice, relationship drama, break ups, reddit cheating girlfriend, reddit revenge, reddit creepy, reddit school, reddit relationship stories, tifu, reddit hunt

Id: FI-Nj6wOwko

Length: 22min 7sec (1327 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 06 2021