AITA For Asking My Brother To Move Out Because Of A Tiktok? [Reddit Relationships Advice]

hey guys check out our new channel for more addict relationship stories relationship hunt link in description enjoy the video am i the antagonist for telling my wife she needs to go to therapy to become the more markets deserve my wife had a crappy childhood her mom wasn't great in and out of prison she had to raise her little siblings so with our own kids i know she overcompensates so our girls can have the childhood she didn't the issue is she can see that our daughters might not want the same things as she did as a kid she put them in dance and one loves it the other hates it but my wife made her do it until covered hit in the studio closed when i tried to talk her down she said that she'd learn to love it our oldest six has severe anxiety she's actually in therapy for it as a result she hates crowds we had her birthday last january and she spent it huddled in a corner and cried through happy birthday after begging my wife not to make people sing my wife shrugged it off and said it's part of the experience this year we can't do a big party for obvious reasons but my wife wanted to do a thing where everyone drove up to say hi decorated their cars and sang oldist said no when my wife tried to push my daughter said she won't leave her room if they come over my wife was upset and hurt she told me she wants to give them the childhood she didn't have i said that's nice but our girls do have a childhood fear not raising each other neither of us are in prison and were stable i said that she needs to let them have the childhood they want that includes activities toys our youngest is a tomboy and thats lead to issues what they wear etc she started arguing and i said she does all of this for herself not them i clarified she's not her mom but she's not being a great one by doing this and told her she needs therapy to be the mom they deserve now my wife isn't talking to me i wonder if i overstepped am i the antagonist nta i'm gently going to say your wife is probably not trying to be callous or hurtful to your children because she's over compensating for her poor childhood growing up with her own ideas of what happy and normal looks like but let me be clear she is being those things in her efforts she is hurting them by not letting them have choice i applaud you for recognizing this and i hope you can persuade her to do therapy or even offer to do it with her to help her not feel further alienated i hope it all works out best of luck sir i'm editing to also clarify that over compensation is not necessarily a good implication it can have negative overtones in her aggressive willfulness to push her lost and forgone childhood onto her children i like that you mentioned she's not giving her kids a choice i think if you boiled it down mom wouldn't have chosen the childhood she had and she's kind of creating the same scenario although not as extreme of course the wife isn't intentionally being an [ __ ] that she will be if she continues to ignore the issue op is not the a-hole for bringing this to her attention it's important nta her mom was the reason your wife and her siblings didn't have a great childhood but she seems like she's overbearing which can be just as negative you're not overstepping those are your kids too and you do have a say in their upbringing she needs to work through her trauma before her kids get older and want nothing to do with her nta your wife isn't giving the girls the childhood they need she's giving them the childhood she didn't have i can guarantee if she keeps going down this route they won't be remembering their childhood fondly and they will have their own issues with her you're 100 right that your wife needs therapy and keep defending your daughters your wife should not be forcing your daughters to do things that make them miserable just because she wanted it at that age i said that she needs to let them have the childhood they want yep op is spot on this is always true regardless of how good or bad the parent's childhood was if his wife continues on the path the kids will most likely harbor resentment for her my wife had a bit of a difficult childhood too and sometimes i catch see her projecting her experience slash feelings onto the kids i catch myself acting like my dad did which i didn't like as a child hey man you're catching it though that's the important thing as a parent with a somewhat rough childhood and very rocky teenage years with my dad i fear this the most and i already see the similarities with how i act with my wife already i'm trying to get better each day and as long as you're acknowledging and correcting it you're doing amazing i personally think we can't all be perfect though helps to be a good team-mate and have one not the a-hole her over-compensating things like the birthday party can be taken as abusive your daughter has anxiety and cried and your wife said it's part of the experience no it's not it's showing your daughter her feelings don't matter that's more damaging than anything she needs to listen to her kids what they want and don't want and she needs to respect it or they are going to have awful childhoods as well therapy is definitely needed here i had an awful childhood myself and never wanted to become my mother but i went to therapy and got a handle on my own emotions and feelings so i could be a better parent to my children she might be pissed at you for suggesting it but she needs it otherwise your oldest might start resenting her and their relationship will get ruined beyond repair am i the antagonist for telling my stepfather to get out of my house if he doesn't like me so this happened a few months ago when my grandfather passed away he gave me 19 mail his house and my brother land my mom 50 f works overseas where she met my stepdad 51 meters and his kid 16 f 16 meters then my brother goes to another country to get a better job my mom then tells me that she and my stepdad will get married and will move in with me because they will sell the house their house after a month they move in with me after a while my stepdad gets bossy trying to order me around the house and trying to make his child's chores be my chores so here's where the story starts in quarantine i don't get out of my room often and sometimes cook for myself because they already finished eating then my stepdad said to me that i need to get out of my room to socialize and help with chores i said i already did my chores and make his kids do his chores because him not doing it my mom then mediated the situation but step dad became salty and said my mom is taking my side the next week he does it again he said to me to help out on the house and do some chores but i said to him i have already done it and check the chores that my mom assigned for me to do then he started to yell saying that i make his kids do more chores i then said that say it to mom because she is the one assigning them my mom yelled at us both and said that we need to have a family therapy session we both agreed but then his kid 16 meters said that i need to pull my own weight and it goes downhill i yell at him that it's my house and that he should pull his weight i then called him a leech that doesn't contribute anything he then rages off to his room and my stepdad says i have no right to yell at his son i said if he doesn't like me he can get the out the house my mom separated us and told me to cool down the next day i see that the family group chat is split saying i was disrespectful and others are with me saying i own the house i don't know if in the ah hole but please judge entire your stepdad sounds like he just wants to be man of the house because he's older this is your house understand that your stepdad needs to understand that as well if he wanted to have rule over a house they should have kept this you're already doing more than enough by allowing them to live with you and basically letting them have majority of the house if that isn't good enough for him then yeah he should get out eater thank you annons for the rewards start charging them a nominal rent and get a lease signed this could get legally complicated if your mom's husband tries to claim tenants rights if slash when you need them to leave also this will be upsetting there will be yelling but it will establish the ground rules that it is your house this boundary needs to be drawn unless you want your mom's husband to keep thinking he has control over you i agree with this the dynamic they are trying to create is that of a child living with parents but that's not the situation here op is a fully grown adult and owns the house nta buttop you need to refrain this for legal reasons and because they won't stop treating you this way until you do i'd address the chore chart too your mother shouldn't be telling you what chores to do in your own house when you own a place you take care of it because it's yours by being on the chart you're giving the impression that they can boss you around and that you aren't an adult i was confused by even the mama signing shores you are the homie arwana ropas yet you are allowing these people including your mother to treat you like a child living with his parents they are nothing more than guests in this home and if they can't respect that then they need to leave agreed stepfather needs to stop trying to be bullied big potatoes and start being relieved that op hasn't assigned him the chore of cleaning the driveway with a toothbrush if he wants to remain in the house nta you own the [ __ ] house bro you have no obligation to your stepdad he simply is just with your mom that doesn't constitute him intruding upon your space nta your house if they can't be gracious about living there then ship them out and why is your mom assigning you chores in your house if anyone is assigning chores here it should be you my mom is a better organizer than me i can't even take care of a fish is this you thinking this or are you being told that and believing it you don't need to take care of a family or a fish just your house and yourself if you struggle to understand bill's etc you could still ask your mom because she sounds constructive but maybe living separately is healthier [Music] am i the antagonist for telling my mom we haven't had a good relationship in a long time and i wanted to go live with my dad i 16f used to have a good relationship with my mother that has since crashed and burned since she dated and married my stepdad gary six years ago gary treats his son ian 19 male like has the center of the universe and expects my mother to as well so she does anything ian wants ian gets and that usually comes at the expense of me ian wanted my room when they moved it i was forced to go to another room to make the transition easier for everyone ian wanted a car for his 16 th birthday i didn't get braces for another year ian wanted to go on an expensive trip for spring break i had to give up volleyball to make it happen ian wanted to have his side of the family over i was expected to find somewhere else to be since i wasn't family my mother just went along with all of this and acted like it shouldn't affect me at all my dad was overseas for a long time and we used to facetime and he was so upset by what he was hearing he's home now and has offering to have me come live with him him not seeing a reason not to go and so i told my mom i wanted to go live with my dad she predictably freaked out and asked why i'd want to do that and said that we had such a good relationship she didn't understand how this came so out of the blue i told her that we haven't had a good relationship since she blindly decided to follow gara's lead and give ian anything he wanted and it always came at my expense my mom tried to argue so i said i also wanted to leave because she let them kick me out of my own house because i wasn't family so i was going to go live with someone who was my mom started crying and said she won't let me go so i told her that my dad was willing to go to court over it and i was old enough to be able to say where i wanted to be she's been a crying mess since i told her angari is being a jackass about how awful i'm being here's where i might be the [ __ ] he was bitching at me about how terribly i'm treating them and how i'm not thinking about them at all i asked why should i he never thought of me when he was taking things from me to give to his kid i said let's face facts here you don't care about me what you care about is losing the child support you spend on your son he sort of went slack jawed and i walked off my dad said my mom called and threatened to take him to court so he said head see her there now she's panicking because she realized he is planning on taking her to court over this mom and gary of course think him the [ __ ] for making things hard for everyone but my dad and grandparents say to leave and never look back am i the antagonist for wanting to get away from this situation nta go to your dad's house i'm so sorry this is going on and make sure the judge knows about all the suspiciously expensive items ian is getting that money is your child support i guarantee it and you've had to give up items that should be bought with that money i'm enraged on your behalf judges don't like that either ever judge will drag your mother across the coals and it'll be well deserved she failed you big time so i just want to tell you that i'm a random internet person but i'm super proud of you for standing up for yourself gary is a crook and your mom is helping him get out to that house nta obviously the fact op had to wait another year to get braces so her stepbrother could get a car is insane you know how much a car for a 16 year old should cost maximum dollar sign 2k my niece got her first car in 2020 and she paid 900 no family friend discounts etc and it's older than she is but she damn happy yeah all the 16 year olds car needs to do is get them from place to place hell i'm 20 and still driving the junk pile i got from my grandma when i was 17 and i'm perfectly happy with it because young adults don't need fancy cars and most of us aren't responsible enough to have them nta you have been punished for her inability to stand up to her husband for far too long i hope that life with your dad is amazing and he treats you how you deserve to be treated she let him force her to stop treating you as family you owe them nothing at all nta if they want to exclude you belittle you and force you to make unfair adjustments in order to cater to the whims of their other child and not use your child's support to help raise you they can damn sure take the consequences of those actions and he's not even a child he's 19. now yes given that op mentions the car for his 16th birthday i'm guessing they have lived together for at least four years making him an older kid but still a kid when they moved in true i guess i made my statement more in mind with whatop told gary about the child support if i had to guess he's been taking money out of it four years for ian even though that money is slash was for ops care only and it sounds like he's still losing it for his son even though he's an adult he probably gives ian money whenever he asks slash pays bills for him honestly i wouldn't be surprised if you were correct and if ops dad can prove it in court they're screwed nta i think you hit the mail on the head when you said he was worried about losing your child support i hope your mother has a han because she is going to have to pay child support to your dad exactly the expensive vacation his car and god knows what else for ian was likely taken out of the child support for her that's her money gary is big mad because his free money is being taken away up let them stay mad take care of yourself and let your dad take care of you too nothing that's happening is your fault be well and best of luck hopefully not only will he lose that child support but with any luck they will have to pay support to ops father and he can recoup some of what was spent on ian if it could be proven maybe they could also sue for the child support that never went into the child in the first place though i'm not a lawyer so i'm unsure if this could be proven it's unfortunately almost impossible to prove that you are not the a-hole gary's son is 19. he needs to be working or going to school for something gary though is the [ __ ] [ __ ] him am i the antagonist for asking my brother's entire family to move out because my nephew set my bathroom on fire for a tick tock my 32 f brother 43 male his wife 40 f and their two kids 9 f and 15 male have been staying with me for a little over two weeks now because they lost their jobs due to coronavirus and were evicted four people is obviously a large addition but i didn't want them to be homeless and they assured me it would be a temporary stay two days ago my nephew set my bathroom on fire for a tick-tock from what he told me after there's some kind of trend where you draw a shape on your mirror with hairspray and then you light it on fire and it's supposed to go out on its own without any damage well his fire spread onto a nearby stack of towels and got out of control we all had to evacuate but luckily i live relatively close to a fire station so the damage wasn't that bad my guest bathroom is scorched and will need repairs but the rest of my home is okay i think that my brother and sil had to have been wildly negligible to allow this to happen especially considering the lighter he used was my brother's meaning he must have taken it from him at some point i'm asking them to leave within the next week because i don't want to risk something of this nature happening again they've apologized and asked me to reconsider because it was an accident no one was hurt in the end they'd be homeless if i kicked them out now and to think of my niece who did nothing i'm not going to charge them for the repairs because they flat out can't afford it but i no longer feel safe living with them [Music] info how is this kid being punished if his parents are letting him off easy because no one was hurt in the end yeah that's terrible and unsafe parenting and your right not to have them in the house i don't think it's necessarily negligent parenting since he's past the age that parents usually have to watch their kids like hawks but if they are usually lacks parents i completely understand your anger this is a huge question and should definitely be answered before determining if op is an [ __ ] have the parents taken this kid's phone and forced him to come up with some form of restitution are they trying to sweep it under the rug did they chan clear the [ __ ] out of him yup it's either an everyone sucks here is they relax or you're the a-hole if they gave him appropriate discipline so many commenters on this sub here get pulled into the ops perspective of the different situations people seeking confirmation on reddit why i've never heard of it slashes i no longer feel safe living with them nta that's the only reason you ever need this isn't a candle that got out of hand situation insurance doesn't cover intentional dumbassery it wasn't an accident and he could have killed someone for a tick-tock edit intentional dumbassery it amazes me that the parents don't realize that their kid literally could have killed someone this isn't a prank it's serious the fire department had to come wouldn't be the first time someone died from a tick-tock prank gone wrong or any other viral idiocy i just hope if anyone wants to win the darwin's award they don't bring anyone other than themselves nta he lit your house on fire for an internet trend he's lucky he didn't kill someone sounds like someone dangerous to have in the house nta if you don't kick them out now they very soon stop being house guests and start becoming lodges slash tenants that's a legal can of worms you don't want to go through to get someone terrifying out of your house and your nephew clearly needs the parenting of seeing actions have consequences he didn't do this in his own home he did this to his host which means he hasn't learned to respect others belongings depending on the country it could illegal to not give them 30 days to leave due to tenant laws i don't think it would apply since they didn't sign a tenant lease agreement and from what it sounds like they also don't pay rent and generally they would have to have been living there at least a month or more and in some places receive mail at that address living there only two weeks just makes them extended guests info is your nephew normally like this 15 is still pretty young and it doesn't seem like he intended this to be bad also it's incredibly easy for a 15 year old to get a lighter so calling the parents negligent seems out of line emo it's your house to do with as you please but i think some punishment and consequences that aren't making them homeless can be arranged maybe if op decides to let them stay make the punishment be painting and trying to fix his damage supervised and assisted by his unemployed parents

Channel: Reddit Hunt

Views: 1,937

Rating: 4.8823528 out of 5

Keywords: aita, askreddit, reddit aita, reddit open marriage, reddit, cheating reddit, reddit cheating wife, reddit cheating, aita update, reddit relationships, reddit update, reddit stories, reddit funny, reddit breakup stories, reddit confession, relationship STORIES, reddit family relationships, reddit relationship advice, relationship drama, break ups, reddit cheating girlfriend, reddit revenge, reddit creepy, reddit school, reddit relationship stories, tifu, reddit hunt

Id: LqPX3uKWBX4

Length: 23min 17sec (1397 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 22 2021