AITA For Acting Like An Entitled Millennial? [Reddit Relationships Advice]

hey guys check out our new channel for more edit relationship stories relationship hunt link in description enjoy the video am i the antagonist for taking in my sister without giving heads up to my husband hear me out i was at my parents place i was over to help out my mom out with a garden my younger sister is staying at home for college it seems dad was yelling at her about something he checked her phone and found that she is a lesbian my mom was just watching her yell at him and backing him up my sister was just crying i'm a pretty soft-spoken person and i couldn't stop my dad from yelling but when he was done i told her to pack her stuff and took her to my place she is a pretty sensitive person and my parents are pretty assertive and rude sometimes i tried to text my husband but he was in a meeting and he rarely checks his phone while he works he was surprised to find my sister in our home i talked him about it and he's okay with it but he is upset on two counts the first being that i didn't give him any heads up and he hates being surprised by anything and that he will have to give up his quiet room which he uses to destress after work he just hates having things jumped on him he knows she has to stay here for a while and it makes sense i feel like an [ __ ] as i should have done things a bit more calmly i should talk to my husband before getting her out of there i was pretty emotional during this whole thing it was one of the worst things i have witnessed i know much he loves his room and how great it has been to his mental health to have a place to be alone and process things it has helped our relationship a lot i feel like i'm not prioritizing him here and i took a major decision without consulting him now for the top comments now you protected your sister and that makes sense in an emergency sometimes you have to do things right now and you didn't try to not tell him things just came to a head in that moment he's allowed to be annoyed there wasn't a discussion and that he's lost quiet space i wonder if there is a way to fix the loss of his quiet space another room he gets an hour uninterrupted time in his bedroom etc exactly there are ways to work it out during this summer at home they both go to run errands and he gets to stay home and chill for a couple of hours he gets treated to go to the movies by himself and so on now you needed to get your sister out of a bad situation and with basically no notice you backslash backslash did try to inform your husband but he didn't happen to check his phone after work so he got surprised as someone who also considers home a quiet sanctuary i can see why your husband is a bit distressed very private people feel obligated to behave differently when others in their house and it can be exhausting to feel like you have to be on all the time and not really have anywhere to escape to decompress by what you wrote in your post your husband logically understands why your sister is there if he's seen how your parents treat her then he probably even agrees with getting her out still since he values his privacy in space i think you and he should sit down and do some brainstorming about how to help support your sister long term i don't think she should stay past the end of summer presuming hubby can manage having a house go west even that long so first priority is figuring out where she will live when her classes resume in the fall once that's settled decide between you if you're both okay with her living with you for the rest of the summer or if she needs to find somewhere else to live before then now of course he's thrown off by a new person in the house without prior discussion but it sounds like he'll get over it sure it would have been nice to do this calmly and less urgently but you did what you had to do to help your sister now i can't call husband and [ __ ] for being thrown off like this he does deserve a say in the matter you're only protecting your sister so can't say you're an [ __ ] either nah you had a really good reason to offer up your place for your sister she needed to get out of her current situation and away from your parents and it's not like you were given a heads up that this drama would go down with your parents you were merely reacting to the situation i can also see how your husband is a little upset that something got dropped on him a heads up would be nice so he can prepare but you didn't really have that at this point you both kind of have to roll with the punches here but it does seem to be inconvenient to the both of you am i the antagonist for acting like an entitled millennial i'm currently working in a retail shop managed by the man who owns the company it's just the one independent store pretty small business i guess because of its size it's not super formal when it comes to people's specific responsibilities we all just kind of share them there are seven of us who work there besides the owner and most of the time we work in back room the system is that customers place orders online and we fulfill them and the customer comes to pick the order up sometimes we have people who actually come in in person to place an order when that happens one of us has to go speak with the customer and plan the order no one likes this job the customers are often quite rude or try to low-ball you or flirt with you and it's often just unpleasant but of course it has to be done as i said this is no one specific responsibility each time someone will just say ill go deal with this order so there are four girls including me and three guys all with the same job the split of who goes to interact with customers is very skewed the other three girls go most often then i go a bit less often and the three guys basically never go two of them i've literally never seen speak to a customer and the third i've seen once in a blue moon anyway i had my review recently and the manager of the company said that i didn't go and speak to customers often enough he said that the other three girls did it much more than me and i needed to start being on the shop floor more i said i understood and i appreciated the feedback and would take it on board going forward it was fair for him to say but it did irritate me a little bit just because i know he would never say that to the boys so the following conversation happened me thank you again for the feedback i just wanted to say that i also think it might be fair for you to ask the boys to do the same thing just so the responsibility is more evenly distributed boss i don't know i think you girls can handle it you know what boys are like me no sorry i'm not sure what you mean boss well they aren't as good at talking to people or making sales as girls are girls are more approachable me well in all fairness i'm a girl and i struggle to talk to people but i still make an effort to i'm not sure that being approachable is a gendered thing boss well let's not bring gender into this i really don't want you having that entitled millennial attitude and start bringing these woke brigade issues into the workplace i think everyone of my age understands that girls are just better at attracting customers it's not rocket science i kind of backed down there and the conversation moved on but it really rubbed me the wrong way and i don't know if i was wrong to say what i said am i the antagonist now for the top comments nta at all love how he says let's not bring gender into this backslash backslash right after bringing gender into this backslash backslash and this has zero to do with being an entitled millennial i'm much older than you and i agree with you he's just being sexist end of discussion however he's the boss on a practical level not a moral level he's going to assign who he wants the thing is he already sounds like a terrible boss because of the way you all talk about customers as a sort of punishment yeah customers can suck but most don't and if you approach them with the attitude that dealing with them is a punishment then it's going to be a punishment and your customer service is gonna tank what i'm trying to say is that this guy seems to be a pretty bad boss personally i'd luck for another job thank you for this i'm starting to think that another job is the solution you're right talking to customers shouldn't feel like a punishment and it's probably not good just for my personal career development to think of customer interaction as a negative thing for what it's worth customer service gets [ __ ] on in every direction no respect professionally no respect personally treated like crap by many customers underpaid unappreciated not seen as a real job yet so few people can do customer service well so it's understandable that it feels like a punishment i like doing customer service personally but the fact that most of society reinforces the idea that it's negative certainly doesn't help with making it more enjoyable spot on i'm great at customer service and it's something i'd be happy to continue doing if not for all that other crap that comes with it i love the retail job i had when i was 19 to 21 the actual duties of the job and interacting with customers but they paid crap and upper management started taking advantage of me companies too often drive away good employees ditto just handed in my resignation i'd stay if i was getting paid more if there wasn't dismissive hq if requests to improve how we work weren't ignored or issues that make my job harder were actually fixed most of the time i love helping people find a cute outfit or a new bra that fits or a present for someone's sister i like chatting and cracking jokes and making the store look nice and clean and visually backward tasty i love my team past and present members and my store manager who is also leaving i didn't want to get shafted with even more hours and no overtime running the store practically by myself for most of the week with little cover and still remaining cheerful and attentive with customers ntl or lolly were being so minimally woke in that comment just genuinely confused and trying to process his feedback in a respectful way he could have even phrased it a hundred other ways like the guys do the majority of the heavy lifting slash heavy moving boxes or something but he actually just went there and was like nope i'm a sexist boomer part of me really wants you to report him edit typo this is good to hear because i didn't think i was being overly woke in that comment but i started to definitely question myself afterwards thinking i'd gone for less jw on my boss if i was working like a corporation or something i might have reported him but bc it's his company i don't even know who he'd report into like there's no our department or anything a guy worked for a small family type company wants to and there really isn't regulation which is why he's probably been getting away with this four years if you ever leave for another business you should absolutely leave a glassdoor review and or yelp review about the experience glassdoor is anonymous while yelp is not but more people and customers will see the yelp review am i the antagonist for not using my own costco card imma 25f who lives in hawaii local culture here is a blend of different ethnicities so as a walk i've never experienced anything racist here a few days ago i brought my grandma to costco and as we were leaving i saw they just brought out a pallet of hk squishmallows i wanted to get one for my sister but i didn't have my membership card with me so my grandma gave me hers and said shed wait for me near the registers as i waited in line at the register the cashier snotpock looked me up and down and said without seeing the back of the card with my grandma's name and picture whose card it is because there's no way that's yours i explained it's my grandma's and my grandma came over the cashier then scanned the card in the item then instead of giving me the total she said here's a deal i can only take cash or your grandma's card not yours so what will it be i asked why in her response aren't you too dark to be her granddaughter my grandmother is pock but light-skinned she didn't even try to explain why she couldn't take my card my grandmother and i both yelled at the cashier called her out on her behavior and ultimately i didn't purchase the toy i called customer service and reported what happened they apologized and said she will be disciplined due to their non-tolerance to discrimination am i the antagonist update yes this is a repost because my original post was too long for the 3000 character limit geez now for the top comments nta she can keep her skin color assessments to herself what the cashier did is digesting but costco has a policy that the purchaser has to be a member she should have called for a manager if she suspected you were not the actual cardholder maybe costco is different in the uk but i've never had them pull that [ __ ] my dad has a card so i ask him to take me and my housemates and we each do a separate shop the costco staff have never had an issue about it nta the reason she made it a race issue is beyond [ __ ] up costco does have a policy though that you have to be the slash member in order to purchase anything there only the actual member is the one that can purchase anything but again awful she made it a race issue they will however give a split total receipt making it easy for people to pay back the cardholder used to do this all the time in college i've never heard of that i usually just add the other person's items together and round up four tax i usually don't worry about tax mainly cause when we buy our total doesn't usually go higher than 100 so it isn't too much yay they will subtitle the other person's amount nta the policy is legitimate that is the costco policy per my understanding however the colorism slash racism is abhorrent oh definitely i wish she could have just explained it was policy and left it at that my mother and i share a membership so we both have cards on the same account and they wouldn't even let us pay if we didn't match up credit cards with membership cards so it's totally understandable to refuse because of the policy but she made it all about race which is super gross i would have asked for the manager right then and there because racism is probably the one thing that will make me overcome my social anxiety and my aversion to conflict and make me go ballistic in public nta that cashier was way out of line am i the antagonist i kicked out my bf and threatened not to let him visit again my boyfriend always overstays his welcome sometimes after showing up without calling in advance and even after i sometimes tell him that i'm not in the mood for company he lives about an hour away from me and the traffic can get pretty bad bad enough to make a one hour drive into a two or two and a half hour drive so i kinda get it but it's not always an excuse one time he came over he used the traffic as an excuse to stay for two more nights until i got mad at him and told him to leave this past weekend he offers to come over and help fix up my pool so we can swim in it since he did all of that i'll let him stay for a couple of nights and we spend all night sunday getting familiar but monday comes around and he begins to imply things like he's gonna stay or like he's gonna take me home with him and i said no you should go home hon he says i want to but the traffic is too bad i said that's not an excuse you can still go home and drive through the traffic he says well i guess i can go wait in my car for several hours until the traffic is clear i said fine give me your keys he says why i say so i can drive your car to your house then take an uber back and then put you and your stuff in my car and then drive you home because at this point that's the only way i'm gonna be able to get you to go home i'm former navy and i might have a little ptsd when i get frustrated or upset i like to take action maybe searching through his stuff so that i could take his car keys and take his car was not a good thing to do or imply he insists the traffic is so bad though don't you believe me i said yes i believe you the traffic down that highway is always bad i've driven on that road before too so finally he says fine i'm just gonna go wait in the other room and that's where he is now sitting in the guest room waiting for the traffic to get better i told him that if he overstays one more night then i will not allow him to come over like the cinema and now i feel like a jerk for kicking him out because he did clean up my pool and now he's in the guest room now doing i don't know what sulking or being pissed at me or something so anyways is this my fault now for the top comments i'm feeling claustrophobic just reading this and i want to scrape him off establish your boundaries and stick to them not the a-hole my boyfriend always overstays his welcome when this is how the post starts you know the relationship is going to be a bad one and he threw a tantrum like a child i feel like they are both throwing tantrums why why are you still dating him he is too much work and unless the orgasms are [ __ ] crazy good ed no bout nta i know we all want to believe in that unicorn peep but there's no way he's getting her off better than she can not worth it truth info are you sure this dude is your boyfriend he's just a pool cleaner with separation anxiety omg this made me cackle thank you nta and dump him he comes over without warning and even when you've indicated it's not a good time and then won't leave when you ask and gets passive aggressive about it fine i'll wait in the car slash fine i'll wait in the other room is he god like in some other way that makes up for this carelessly obnoxious boundary ignoring i kind of doubt it nta you really have to ask yourself if this is worth it because like thieving willow asked how else does he make it up what are his better qualities obviously you see something in him but it has to be the best thing ever you need to really evaluate the future situations of you two as a couple if he is this passive aggressive about something as simple as hey thanks for coming but it's time to go how will he act when you two live together how will he act when slash if you combine your finances and you tell him he can't splurge on x item how will he act if a loved one is sick and you two need to help care for them but there's a one two two hour commute to go help them i'm not jumping the gun and saying break up him but i'm saying that you need to think about everything including his behavior and work things out before taking the next steps whatever happens happens nta why is dude still in your house time for him to go in the world this time for you to go mean go sit in the other room he needs to get his ass out because my guess is traffic or no traffic he's not intending to leave at all i drive all the time traffic is not great driven all over the country no one likes traffic traffic is not an excuse to overstay your welcome anywhere when someone asks you to go it's time to go if he doesn't like the traffic he needs to leave before the traffic starts period i think it's time to get real clear with him action style i'm cool with you being here when i say it's okay if i ask you to go you need to go if i say i'm not up for a visit don't be coming over if he can't agree to that then this needs to be his very last drive

Channel: Reddit Hunt

Views: 871

Rating: 4.8461537 out of 5

Keywords: r/amitheantagonist, r/, amitheantagonist, reddit, cringe, who is in the wrong, reddit cringe, r/aita, aita, reddit stories, advice, stories, reddit hunt, am i the antagonist, reddit am i the antagonist, AITA, r/AITA, r/AmITheAsshole, amitheasshole, am i the asshole, reddit am i the asshole, reddit amitheasshole

Id: BHQhCe8lqAk

Length: 20min 49sec (1249 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 15 2021