Aggressive Child. 1960s psychiatric case study

he's an intelligent child and a very attractive one but philippe is a problem at school at home to himself philippe is an overly aggressive child what can be done we can say oh this is just a phase he'll outgrow it or we can recognize that he needs help and that something can be done to help him this is the supervisor of his nursery school ms steinberg he uh try to choke a little boy because this little boy wanted to play with the little girl that he wanted to he was particularly interested in he's inclined to reject any authority or a limit set for him by the teacher and it became so bad even to the extent of hitting the teacher that we had to ask the mother to come in to see us and we recommended that she go for uh goes to the children's hospital for help this is dr hyman kaplan your mommy is worried because you used to do so much fighting at school and she'd like to know how we could teach you not to fight so much do you have any ideas yes no would you like to learn how not to fight well you think fighting is the best way to do things yeah and you don't feel you know any other way nope this is philipp's mother he's terribly disobedient a child has to know and has to respect authority from a teacher from a parent i feel somewhere along the line i failed he's a child that has really everything a child would want and he's it's really quite disheartening there's something that it just makes one feel like a failure doctors will spend time with philippe and with philippe's mother it's more useful if both parents come since both are part of the problem but even if only one will come this can be alter the home situation which contributes to phillips problem play therapy enables the doctor to enlist and probe the child's feelings his feelings about his home his parents and how he deals with the world above him there's nothing magical about it and nothing that is threatening to the home the pussycat went to school and made trouble for the teacher you'd whip the pussycat yeah and what happened would that help the pussycat learn how to do better at school yes because they'll remember it they'll remember it it's about at school i get them wow wow wham what that doesn't make a lot of sense to me because you've had whippings and you've had punishments and has that helped you learn to enjoy school a lot better no then when it in your head whamwham doesn't always help i don't have a whip in my hands is that what you were looking for i just have hands that i can sort of get close to you with and love you you love me and be friendly to you yes i love you because i'm a doctor that's trying to help you and i'm trying to help you by trying to find out how i can help you enjoy your school without fighting all the other kids so much because there must be a good reason why you fight all those kids hey on the one hand you say he's got everything he wants and then you say somehow i feel he's missing something and more than that you say you fail you're the one that's making this missing occur well he's missing obviously child companionship i mean obviously without the lack of other children it's not a wonderfully happy home he's such a difficult child anyway to handle but i just couldn't take another wouldn't want another child who do you think's the most important person in his life i would say i am you are but say so i'm imagine so well i i would agree with that now children uh don't learn things by being born with a machinery for knowing things no they have to be trained and developed a good teacher a good mother is a person who gives goodies love affection tenderness and gratification but who in crucial situations can say no how good a teacher are you particularly when your child doesn't want to listen to you he gets punished and that's all there is to it well then you become a punitive teacher he's very rude he goes to bed and he's punished and it doesn't matter to him if he doesn't watch the television he just goes over my knee with a slipper and he goes to his room doesn't always work well uh after you've given him a beating do you feel he's learned something no do you feel you've learned something no no but how angry are you when all this happens well i am inclined to be what highly strong say the least but i try desperately to handle the situation as calmly as one can you mean you don't think you should be angry i shouldn't show my anger why not well it seems to me though that you're trying very hard to teach him but you're also trying very hard not to teach him because when you're angry you're entitled to be angry if you're putting a lid on that is it also possible that you're curving a lot of the love you might give them because if one learns to put a lid on feelings it's very hard to open up the lids for feeling a but close it for feeling b the thing is i find that when you raise your when i raise my voice to him he raises his voice back my husband is inclined to give in much easier than i when i say something i mean it that if i'm going to persist and persist and persist and the next minute my husband's going to give him exactly what he wants i've lost well let's uh talk a little bit about that because if you have an army with a dual command you've got a very chaotic chaotic situation well that's exactly what i i know you're introducing a new variable here uh in what way do you and your husband split your authority and therefore this boy feels that he doesn't really have any unified command and he doesn't have to learn and he has too many teachers he has too many people telling him what to do well let's see where we can put our finger on the problem between you and your husband in terms of handling this boy how do you see it my husband is european and he was brought up again in a different way perhaps nearer to my way of being brought up than the way this child is being brought up and he actually perhaps didn't have any sort of affection at all he was brought up by governances which is even worse to quite a late stage and he he works very hard and he's very tired and really doesn't have too much patience and he adores the child obviously that hasn't anything to do with it but i think that here everybody's under such a strain that it's very hard to know what you to to fulfill your commitments and and your your responsibility towards a child well you're apparently saying the man in this house is your six-year-old boy he's the boss he gets mostly what he wants mostly that's exactly right and uh that's a very heavy responsibility for a six-year-old isn't it this is dr taylor statton head of psychiatry at montreal children's hospital this mother is uh pretty bothered i guess philip and the mother have been trying to solve this problem for quite a while i suspect it goes back a long way uh she probably has really had the feeling that she would like philip to get going on solving his baby hood problems and run about problems and things like that in rather hurry i would think he's been shamed out of taking his time or frightened it to do the baby things at the bay behind all this aggression and drive and aggressiveness is a feeling of wanting to be understood as a baby how sick is he or is he sick philip's in trouble uh he could develop continue to develop and in what we call anti-social lines where he doesn't get along with anybody has no friends and seems to uh be against any situation that he might come into and this could certainly lead him into serious trouble philip on the other hand uh i get the feeling from what i've seen so far uh probably has considerable strength certainly enough to get what will take care of him and look after him in perhaps rather selfish way how rigid a pattern is this aggressiveness of his at this age it's not uncommon for aggression to come to the fore at this point but not this much not this much because uh uh this is quite quite disrupting everybody i just wonder and this will be the real test as to whether or not we're going to see any softness and babiness and lovingness come through and philip if some of this does come through then i think that philip will be able to solve his problems in a rather satisfactory way with a little bit of help facts are one thing feelings another the doctor must see the problem as the mother feels it i'm trying to get at your feelings and you seem to be hiding them and covering them up because i would expect that you would be either very angry with your husband or very sad and hurt that you lost because you said you don't like to be a loser no i don't but what happens when you are a loser because here is a situation where you are a loser you have been a loser with your six-year-old child for a long time that's what you're telling me when i lose when i say something out skating he was supposed to stay in bed your husband let him go and you lost on that occasion what is it that you're feeling inside you sadness sadness more than anger yes which hurts more sadness is your sadness deep down is it close to the surface have you ever cried regarding that no the only time i was very upset was when i was phoned from the school to say that they thought he was much better off not to be there any longer and it was the way that it was put to me that was i mean it was just out of the blue i was just phoned to say that the child was not adjusting and he was disturbing the class and it was very put to me very badly because it's not a teacher's place to phone it's the principal's place to phone what you're putting emphasis on protocol who should call you i think you're trying to avoid the catastrophe that your child was expelled from school it's well expelled yes but expelled usually expel thieves and well expelled means being horrible i mean he it wasn't uh it wasn't he it wasn't his fault that he was asked to leave because he wasn't handled correctly this is the supervisor of the nursery school he was asked to leave he was the eldest in the class at this point and somehow he wasn't up to the level of the other children and not intellectually only because he couldn't cope with himself or cope with anything that was taking place the children were involved in learning things which required more attentiveness and a circle where they sat down for a period of time and discussed different various things and philip realized he couldn't cope with this so he would ask to go and visit a younger class and we tried this on occasions he came to visit various classes but immediately became attached to one child and showed his affection by beginning to hurt this child i spoke to philip's mother and told her that unless she got some help we couldn't manage to keep philip the way he was now we were only equipped to do a certain amount we were only trained to a certain level and we felt that philip needed more help than we could give him or that we need a direction in helping philip or an understanding phillip now um the father became quite hostile he said he couldn't understand that if we were such experts in nursery school why we couldn't cope with the situation and we explained that we weren't such experts in you know behavior problems in the sense that philip was beyond our understanding it's nice of you to join us i thought it would be a good idea if we spend a little time talking about some of the things that i've tried to observe as i spent a half hour or so with belief and uh yeah you want to show your mommy what we're doing how do you feel about me telling your mommy what we're doing yeah um yes you got a whole mouthful but uh you like to play and eat and talk and breathe and grow all at one time like a real hungry alligator and i like this yes aren't they cute this is a man a mummy and a daddy and they've been playing a game most of the morning what's the game they've been playing i've been worked they've been playing a husband and wife game with a lot of kisses and hugs lots of kisses and hugs so many that you think this mummy and daddy never raised their eyebrows at each and never had an argument with each other and mostly at breakfast time but everybody had a whole lot of bacon for breakfast really yep oh my that's one one story that philippe's been telling us and he's been coming back to that story again and again that danny being a very very amorous affectionate husband and with lots of kisses and hugs for mommy and i think it sleeps way of saying that oh when you can give a mummy lots of hugs and kisses then your mummy becomes such a happy mummy and when you are a little boy like philippe with lots of hugs and kisses then you can be not a fighting boy at school but maybe a happy boy at school but then you see we ran into a bit of trouble not really trouble but game trouble the alligator became very very hungry really and he wanted to eat up but daddy's head and i think the alligator was philippe and i think phillip became very angry but he says i always get what i want and that's why i fight and i fight fight fight to get what i want even though i sometimes never really get what i want i answered i want that thing now you want it right now and you don't think you can wait longer at all i cannot i don't know are you getting to be a hungrier alligator or are you getting to be an angrier alligator now get the i'm ready that's the angry alligator you ever get to be a sad alligator a sad little alligator that says i want something no i can't i don't want you and you ever feel that i want something to now that's right i want to get that man right now and i want to get the apple juice right now and i want my nanny to kiss my mummy right now so everybody can be real happy ah and now you can be that little baby with one tooth and i wonder what's better a big hungry alligator that wants things or a little baby with one tooth that can start life all over again and be cozy and comfortable what do you like best what would you rather be a big angry boy very hungry or a little cozy baby with one tooth a big alligator a big alligator and the big alligator is he happy when he wants all the things he can't get is he happy when the teacher is fighting with him no and when his mommy takes her slipper out when the daddy shouts i don't think that alligator is such a happy little boy do you i think he's a sad little boy because he'd like to be a big boy that can go to the park make bacon for breakfast make his mommy and daddy happy oh the holder hold it hold it who made this you did yes for who me would you like me to make this yeah because you're giving me a real big hug and you had your arms yeah for a long time and now you make something for me and that's true if i can do something nice for you you can do something nice for me and the alligator can be put away the hungry alligator isn't so important anymore he's dead he's dead well that's a pretty tender little alligator uh it uh very very helpful to see him uh perform in this way because you know that there is a tremendous uh need to be dependent and to uh to be loved and to uh have kind of physical contact which little boys this age should be able to have every once in a while he's not quite as tough and as hard as uh he would like to as he's tried to make people think if he was as tough on his heart as he's made a lot of people think he'd be in deep trouble i don't think he's quite in as deep trouble as perhaps they felt he was in the beginning and people need some support and help as to how to handle them he needs to be treated like a little boy a good deal to be treated like a little boy and protected from the alligator that's in them i guess and this is best done by beginning to accept the little weak part of the little boy that's in there which is rather lovable but this hasn't been developed enough yet perhaps if the mother sees the need she seems to be prepared to deal with this part of him again she has the same patterns that he has in a different way but i guess uh without realizing it she's probably been exposing him to this rather aggressive of dealing with things the point is they need help oh they need help yes they uh this family was really in a very tight gem and they needed something or somebody to see that there were other ways of living than the way that they had been living otherwise the boy couldn't have lasted in school or gone through school perhaps well this may have been his way of letting everybody know that uh there's something wrong and uh some help had to be given to him this is a symptom and he's crying out to get the pain relieved so to speak it is seven months later philip's mother talks with the psychiatrist who has dealt with the problem dr june cumberland how do you see philippe now completely changed to say the very least well he's much more relaxed he concentrates far more his i think his whole personality has changed entirely well certainly i have been aware of the change he was able to sit here for today for oh well over half an hour without really insisting that he do a tremendous amount of things and he could play in some kind of a constructive way i think it's due to his schooling and due to his visits to you and maybe in in another sense due to the the environment that i've tried to change knowing when i recognized what had to be done in what way have you changed the environment well i find that he doesn't like to be screamed at not that any child does but if you speak to him in a normal way and very nicely he's blessed to be he reacts far better he's hostile if you sort of shout or command him and that i found is a tremendous change in him and of course he's got much older he understands more oh i just uh take him aside and say look here if you don't do this you know mommy's going to be very angry and he's just going to do it and that's the end of it and if if i'm not interrupted i succeed if daddy doesn't yes and he can't go through life wanting everything and getting everything and just smiling and saying well i'm going to ask my daddy he's going to get it for me he has to know there has to be a limit and i've tried to set a limit but it's never been kept what happens really is the philly plays you and daddy off against each other very often annie uh but you and your husband haven't been able to come together to try and help by getting together to try and help sleep you know has he been aware of the changes in philippe or would you say he's much the same no he thinks sleep's improved tremendously okay you worry about getting things on your hands why because i'm afraid my mother's gonna give me a hit you afraid mommy would hit you for getting yourself dirty yeah do you like to be dirty could you tell her we had to paint um i'll tell her you're worried she might get angry with you yeah do you and mommy get angry there's another going after the baby what you're going to do there's a spanker and there's a father after mother what's mommy when daddy gonna do spank the mother and the mother's gonna fake the baby daddy gets angry at mommy and mommy spanks the baby yeah how does the baby feel nah cry people have fights in your family sometimes who fights in your family and what do you feel like when they have an argument i feel like i'm sad you feel sad inside yeah do you tell them you feel sad inside when they punish me i'll feel sad for them why do you feel sad for them when they punish you because i i feel sad you ever feel angry inside i sure do when do you feel angry when this when they start to tell me what to do you don't like to be told what to do no i'll tell them what to do you'd like to be the one who controls everything in your family yeah i like him tremendously he's warm he says going he's charming and when he when he's happier he's a delightful little boy to have around he's bright you can discuss with him all sorts of things his comprehension is very good and we enjoy having him very much we have other children with the same problems due to other reasons but with help and of course they do get sedation medicine to help them to learn to live with themselves not these hyperactive aggressive and hostile but we've seen some wonderful results in the past it's a long drawn-out process it's the same you know the same formula all over again just a lot of tender loving care philippe is a happier boy much of the time life is a little easier for him for his parents for the school there is a long way to go but life is long and has many paths he and his parents and his schools will probably find the right one [Music]

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Length: 26min 27sec (1587 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 26 2021