Acquisitions Incorporated - PAX Prime 2013 D&D Game

thank you thank you thank you very much spirits of the underworld I am Baja the god of murder I'm also on Facebook as dr. kittens with a Z I have returned from the dark beyond why to take my rightful place among the gods of fair room and who must I thank for this oh so many mortals but a few in particular whose names I can't remember so I wrote them down I have the world's worst handwriting first and foremost I would like to thank Duke Abdul Adrian of baldur's gate may he rest in peace Oh Abby you were always my favorite Mahal spawn this one's for you big guy I would also like to thank the people of baldur's gate who spilled copious amounts of blood on the streets to herald my triumphant return and last but not least I would like to thank adventurers everywhere for challenging me for defying me and for making life worth killing the Sundering is upon us and with it comes the end of the age of upheaval the gods including moi are taking steps back and entrusting the future of faerûn to a chosen few but before I leave this stage I have one final act to perform I must kill acquisitions incorporated this podcast features adults using adult language you have been warned Hey look a Dungeons & Dragons ride Wow neat give me a break I don't like this previously on acquisitions incorporated having completely blown there's a year ago omen bin wind and Jim find themselves transported to water deep in the Forgotten Realms this is a big city you've made a couple friends they're a little bit shady but they're nice Finland you got a girlfriend nice her name is he urges are of the stone shaft plan Wow a gnome introduces the party to VRE a road with a map to wealth beyond measure in the under mountain you got a map yes so let's see it I don't have the map as it does I do and with that VRE joins the party but disaster strikes only when he's hit by a stagecoach and his deity is nowhere to be found but with the blessings of Tamura the party ventures into the lair of Hollister mad mage of the under mountain who seems to have been building a 4-star themed room hotel he has a room dedicated entirely to snakes my gut tells me that we're going to have to withstand these rooms it's like these are not treasure rooms I actually collect frog in one room Jim makes a new ally The Raven lifts off of the statue and perches on your shoulder about that who eats a potential ally the bird basically leaps out of your hands into the cage it grabs a little man and just the party is quiet and when the party frees a member of a genies harem dark magic for one day Fiore is dominates then do an omec brand is causing to be poisonous oh sorry I'm saying that's what I mean by the old ways oh the old ways were dark could break fish yeah and they steal your HP penguin bronze bata he actually did pretty good there the whole thing is okay 20 points and together been win and omen sent the succubus back to hell she is reduced to a blackened charred husk I think a breath I avert my gaze I'm not ready to deal with Jim's desiccated us yet but before the survivors can mourn a gift from the goddess Tamura let's omen revive the re envy re sings a song which breathes life back into Jim it's time to rejoin the party as they venture forward deeply probing the savage untamed cleft of destiny they are acquisitions incorporated ladies and gentlemen please welcome Patrick Rothfuss as VRE Scott kurz as been wind runs bottom Jerry Hawkins as omen brand mic Pro Bullock as Jim dark magic and your Dungeon Master for the evening Christopher Perkins already it's made of metal I didn't know there was a Stein phase yeah this is the key piece yeah is this like when you get the special drink and they let you keep the novelty Cup this is water you're already in character you gotta be dude you're doing it right every day did you guys all bring your minis what do you mean you have a special mini to be mushrooms should we show the mini up close I think Dan is working on it this is d next yeah I still using a mini yeah okay put the mini on our forehead is to tap it you know 9 yeah so one last we left you guys you are in under mountain you guys are pretty bad off at the end of that but you have recovered except for the fact that we don't have a keg robot it's seriously gonna start off there could be five of us okay so as you recall you're in under mountain looking for the Ark of the mad mage named after Hollister black Clerk me mad mage and VRE is very important because he has in his head a magical map that he can summon through song that's right and so his survival is paramount actually I have to speak with dead so that's a third level spell that I mean it's so you've gone down a couple levels now yeah you're deeper in the Duns and then when last we got together did we also have time to heal yeah okay yes you're good was there a Starbucks like on the third yeah I'm on the fourth okay I was in I was in kind of a bad way and then on the fifth to Starbucks Starbucks with the Starbucks inside that's right exactly Starbucks up holding if you will venting healing potion frappe ye olde Starbucks that's right and is there any other details that you guys feel you need to know I I remember your rapier got not on by a great news right and then I had a new sword which I feel shame that I did not actually mark down on my sheet I was really busy and the ten-foot pole right yeah but be brief don't embellish no just like oh I'll be done then yeah just real soon there's no more paper is what we're trying so you'll notice on the table here there is no map shown the black represents death this is the void and enjoy yes so where do you go next Oh what well okay because we work with the Sun you should have your old map yes won't be needing that whoa why is that gone because he has to see me I'll see you the map yeah there go yes moisten it moisten the whole apparatus so tonight is all about different themes of murder this is one of them friendship is shaming I'm most loving mere folly oh my god you have a really good voice did you do this in sparkle paint did you do this in fifth grade someone lives near Michael this is how it looks when it appears kind of in the air and that is that's actually baller I use the sniff glue for three hours we just finished so I have taken you down to a new level yeah we have sunk into a new level that's right a new low give us time we've only begun to sink and I have a mini if that would help as it turns out I anticipated your needs as well would you like to use that min here which like I would like to use the gym all right jiminy jiminy whoa yeah that's badass yeah so you guys are entering this level in a room as marked riddle you guys many stupid I wasn't thinking you didn't know you're gonna play D&D today wow you also left your mini of the office yeah but I'm with him like oh you're with him that I'm an ass we've got just one yeah that's right so we're in a room called riddle riddle that seems you are in a 30 foot by 30 foot room with doors set into the three walls ahead of you the room is unnaturally cold so cold that frost has formed on every surface and on every door and standing in the middle of the room is none other than alastor black cloak himself clutching a staff of ice from a top which we're burning atop which is a bloom of green flame you : how many of you out there have seen Big Trouble in Little China alright so one of the things I'm going to do a lot during this game is say the words green flame and when I say the words green flame I would like you all to say with indignance and disbelief green flame okay so hollister is standing there with a staff and at the top is a bloom of green flame when they speak with one voice it is actually very scary they are the spirits of the underworld yes they are here to help you yeah we may be speeding them soon all right can I just immediately if this is an illusion or not being as I am of a master of illusion make an intelligence check it's not great that's a ten good enough oh you think you're very you know all kinds of magic this is a walking snow cone he's basically a simulacrum made of ice and snow Oh a false Callister but solid right right just snowman guys yeah don't worry about yeah now it's moving around it's not just standing there he is looking at you as though waiting for you to do something this this seems like a management decision to me so the entire entity Jimmy is that this is a snow person yeah it's completely made of snow he's not he's not really here I walk up and I kind of poke at it alright it's just no see it's no man fine all right he tries to clobber you with his staff whoa oh my gosh she rolled the 19 you know I don't have unlimited healing life all right when he hits you with the staff you are immolated and green flame and you take five fire damage and you are on fire roll around the room like old roll - stop drop and roll I would like to talk to you about branding because this is my job to be best a it's like the flame union yeah like if someone's gonna walk up and just poke and get set on fire it's supposed to be a dwarf in the union can you give me my life cycle hang out that's a different Union sweater yeah I stop drop and roll all right and Hollister says hug me again not a snowman snow it's no jerk no jerk yes he says I have a riddle for you do you care to hear it or would you like me to wallop you upside the head again hit him again Hollister winds up riddled actually but we're gonna actually gonna go back we're gonna do riddle instead and then later on you can we'll work out something where you can hit another person I know it can get boring hitting the same person again believe me but let's go something up alright now listen carefully every word is important climb swim dig or sing dine or mine choose your room find my orb and bring this thing to the dead dragon's tomb what was after climb don't worry guys I got it he said Clym shoes dig or broom dragon I got I got Cline it was dine or mine or maybe wine and dine no no good fine big swimmer Singh it's the second line dine our mind choose your room find my or bring this thing to the dead dragons tomb really that's impressive the second half now look twice Tony effigy go and place the orb in my lofty grip lightning shall awaken me and reveal what's beyond the ship there two professional writers like I drew a pony it's actually really good it wasn't a brony I yeah I'm not really good at writing these things poster can you say the first line again like just for kicks I have it but I just if I want to sign in the second part yeah no I look to my Stoney effigy that's it yeah place the orbital my lofty grip I think it was like I think she'll wake me and reveal what's be on the ship yeah and then it was it was like two-for-one at Applebee's later tonight and there was something about vesting the intern with a percentage I might have been yeah her predict yeah yeah yeah well okay that's not your job so so that's is that a riddle or is it like a we're in the riddle room I know that but is it but is it like a manual to this level well there's my mime so shoes cave mess I'm not cleaning that and then there's our board so climb swim jig or sing die nor mine choose your room so climb dig dig presumably graves oh wow that's so smart yeah right you do all right but it's it or no we all worry bah no no no no don't know it's client swim dig or sing or sing so I think we I think we can make it weekly yeah who's the first room that seems like right well we got a bard we should go to the same room well also hopefully this means if we poach one we have an or option two like yeah I think the chances of of included an of impeachment might be good so we do have a professional vocalist I only had one song already if needs be I can I can back you up all right well there is a door in the one wall that would take you close to where you believe the sing room is is it closed or open it is closed it's frozen over with frost so it might take a bit of force to open it no problem I charge the door all right I make a strength check for me the door is very old it's very brittle 15 and has a dwarf sized hole so do we have to like get our hands on these yeah it's like a Japanese game show it's like muscle March so I'm just if I yeah we're a mad mage yeah I mean that headspace I would I would label all of these rooms that would kill people and then in these rooms that weren't labeled I would put all my good stuff yeah it's true but I think there's more to it than that this entire device and let's think about the entire complex as a device if you look at the riddle I think he actually needs something from us I think this is said there's something about this that he can't do you know what I mean well there's this whole reassembly of the soul okay we go into the same room all right you come to actually when we're walking but is this a closed door as well here leave it closed door leading to an unmarked room I we are right by the you know I charged the door whoops 13 all right so you knock that door in all right when you blunder into the room there is no floor candygram candygram the room appears to be empty however you are a dwarf yeah I would like you to make an intelligence check for me well sorry and wisdom a wisdom check for me not much yeah 17 all right when you peel your face up off the floor and you kind of look around you see that the far wall there's something odd about the middle of it like it's not made yeah like it's not made of the same stony material it looks kind of like stone oh really do what your sofa I did wow I got - I've got light on the end of my tip you know the tip of my wand yeah so I'm gonna I'm gonna shine it against that wall a little bit all right as soon as you approach the wall something busts out through it I'd like to leave that room now Oh and in fact no you're the figure who bursts out goes oh yeah and it's a metal gnome oh yeah oh yeah and yes oh yeah you see that he has got a glass belly mmm that has what a fluid sloshing around inside isn't tipsy and he says I'm tipsy special would you like some of my fruit punch I just got a little uncomfortable by the hardy your Hardy stock will surely neutralize any devious toxin in this row Boyd's sloshy belly so find the spigot on this thing and just start going three donut straight take the tap yeah don't be a bigot Alissa's unless you want to find a job in the worst economy water teams had in three hundred years it's come to this drink his juice is this the same robot as before no no this is a different it must be a model yeah same manufacturer early yeah got the same stamp of quality get crazy what's with this inside you've got like a cast-iron stomach I do yeah well if if you drink it and it's like a healing potion then we should all take a right draw first room I'm gonna Rod Stewart it in this room don't worry well edit that part out that part out heaven forbid we offend Rod Stewart and for the cool just a little sick it doesn't have to be a lot of nice five yeah I'm just gonna I'm just gonna take a look just a little bit just a just a little look just for a minute from the game robot today you know why not and that's how we never got out of the first room I told you we were sinking to a whole new level it could be like a buff yeah I guess I'll feel pretty what am i rolling nothing absolutely nothing what it tastes really good it tastes fruity it tastes awesome like pineapple yeah how about a nice Hawaiian Punch okay all right so yeah you feel you feel really good you feel like you could you could do some serious damage really you're jazzed up I would all I want to drink ah yeah I pushpin when inside my mouth on it if you don't want to have to suck you already gotta turn the spigot I'm bound on the bond break but I net and then if you're ready the shotgun I pull the way too quick and it gets in my hair there's a there's a button back here yeah okay you don't want to shotgun yeah okay so does he does he'd like feel fire damage or like no I get ya bonus just be a buck you're not exactly sure what the effect is but you feel really good I don't believe all you feel competent if my skin looks better true and they don't think about the hell they know they buy all this expensive stuff no they don't need to buy it names okay okay promise I'm not afraid I'm gonna sleep like this okay only enough left for one my god you sleep like that because we don't know go save some for later yeah do I have a flashlight still yeah okay I I secret away a stash inside my cape for later right then once the gnome is drained he just kind of doubles back into the wall he just kind of collapses of course he falls asleep yeah okay don't worry about me they're lighting a cigarette yeah you you yeah you write a song about this VRE my adventure I think there's a dungeon I think we're done with this room yes sir this thing room I feel great better we're out of the porn room when you round the corner you see something disgusting on the floor it is a oh do come along you see a disgusting mass on the floor it looks like like a roughly 10 foot diameter pile of wookie sticky snot and kind of half emerging from this boozy substance this pus this translucent echo is Rod Stewart I'll put that in the revision okay you see three skeletal goblins when your flesh has been slough off their bodies you also see the remnants of their weapons are they animated are they move you said rising up oh no hide okay they're all just lying there in the goop and the group is between us and the door it's kind of in front of the door but the goop does not look animate and the goblins sure don't so it's not moving toward us right now just you kind of have to step in it to push the door open but otherwise oh no actually I is this like a trap something has fallen from the ceiling you look around and the hall is ten feet in diameter and it's ten feet high and it's got a flat ceiling and flat walls that look like they've been scrubbed clean right seems legit I mean I can I make the official trap a check here I'm old school right sorry I'm not doing percentage you're just doing an intelligence check cause you're actively searching that's right and since your I get my expertise does right which is a d6 21 9 + 1 to 22 okay you are confident that there are no traps in the area but you think that this goop may have been some sort of creature that the goblins may have killed or something else may have killed it or maybe a 410 before it digested its meal there we go I in fact some of you old schoolers who were around in the AFL days yeah might remember he had a run-in with something along this sort you looks like it may have been at one point yes but is no more no more hmm it ate them oh that's why Tanner's it's dissolved I mean it's not maybe they killed it from inside is it still like acid like can we step in it it looks like it's mostly neutralized at this point it's just sticky yeah it's just gross it's just gross okay I think I'd make the intern oh no no wait yeah that's you know that's a great idea did you stick a boot in just one like one booth just poked actually I'm thinking okay with your r18 can we yeah can we rinse this off and see if there's like with like doop do we need to use wine for this am I ever yeah no only good they're not good wine okay right is that a real thing the only way you can yes gelatinous cube stain is with wine yeah and club soda club soda yeah okay alright oh you're able to wash off whatever you want okay and is there there's weapons dandy in here coins there's no candy there's no coins just corroded goblin bones and corroded goblin weapons oh nothing all right the acid has gotten to them that great story alright now we go inside we go inside the room alright when you enter the singing room oh I forgot to mention one that me there is a sign on this door and it says guest quarters Silvan Glade a room name does that name mean anything to June I've got cultural or yeah spinned up sure it's seven no yeah I am aware that Sylvan probably means trees yes and also think in keeping with this whole sort of erotic Hotel motif that this room has just been given a colorful name okay okay please I charged the door yes eight want to try again I'll try the knob oh it opens a wallah gentlemen exciting new dwarven invention the doorknobs why we brought the room when you look inside you see that the walls every wall is covered with a living mural of a beautiful forest glade you can see brilliant moss growing on trees the murals have astonishing depth in fact you see some leaves fall is this very similar to the other we yet a jungle right yeah it's like the jungle room you guys saw with the snakes in the ceiling what is there anything above us when you look in the room you see it canopy of foliage but there's light streaming down sunlight dappled sunlight coming down and just sort of sparkling in the room you can also see in the room proper there are some decayed remains of furnishings including some collapsed beds or bullet bed frames that have sculpted bed posts that look like elven nobility it's the floor also an illusion or is it wood the floor appears to be standard stone tile well I mean does it look familiar to Jim to the room that he interacted with earlier no this looks like a different room not same the same spells same spell ah a intelligence check I'm gonna give you advantage on this check cuz you're comparing it to another room so rules uh rule row second yeah I'll take the higher result you know the first ones better 21 all right you think it is similar but slightly different insofar as your initial estimation is you could probably just walk through Oh where's before I had to create an illusion that again sit inside the mirror exactly we can actually enter into the yes illusion itself all right so I'm gonna I'm gonna walk up to the wall and I'm gonna push my hand through and see if I'm right yeah you're able to go right through does it feel warm on the other side there is a temperature difference you have temperature different yep it actually feels much warmer so that to me implies that things can hurt us so this temperature and I'm also noticing something very interesting on the map the map literally seems to imply a hidden room beyond the illusion and it looks like a lot of these are color-coded I mean we got two red rooms two gold rooms two blue rooms hmm those might be the either/or so if we blow it here maybe the caves yeah maybe we can cave it up yeah well here seeing as the map shows this sort of thing I think we should explore that area over there and try to find the hidden room so looking into the mural on that at the end of the room what do we see it's forest all around you okay I'd like you all however to make wisdom checks okay yeah it's not my forte 7:13 4:8 Wow Bedouin out of the corner of your eye you thought you saw something moving in the mural deep in the mural over by that wall at home and is fixated on but you're not you didn't see it entirely you just saw movement it seemed very strange almost like a face looking at you through the bushes oh look evil face just teeth I think holodecks safeties are off yeah I'm I'm gonna head over to that wall yeah I head over the we like all hold hands know something before we walk in do I dispel this one you don't believe so for a door you believe this is Hollister level magic potions I could I can think I could make a forest bathroom first closet yeah yeah I'm gonna part the illusory fronds yes and when you actually sort of stick your head through the wall you can hear all the ambient noises you'd expect in a sylvan glade and a couple butterflies flitter past it's all very beautiful that's great with my orbit high step in all right Jim steps in I'm gonna stand this side just in case we need somebody to real people back there's a real quick try to step back out okay yes you were able to step out oh okay go back it was close yeah all right you go back in yeah I I push the thumbs up out how can they see me in the glade yes that you are in the blade and you can actually see them they're still standing in the road you guys hear me no they cannot hear you but one thing you do notice is that it's almost from inside it looks like the room is just sitting in the middle of the glade you can see the tile floor that's cool the tile floor they rub the burnt and torn up furnishings and then forest all around it Oh pull it Bert furnishings yeah somebody was lighting some on fire like singed or like charcoal like like maybe a spell have gone off like a burning hands here at some point in the past as if someone were defending against yes an encroaching exact army of yes beasts yes yes that's correct that thing okay we're gonna wheee okay we need the buddy system if we're going out why I motion forbidden to come through okay yeah I'm cool right honey you called me an illusionary frond before and that kind of hurt my feelings I thought we were real friends no no this is about this about fron ship yeah fron ship is metal listen the illusion get in the illusory room okay bin win and Jim yeah I would like you to make very important wisdom checks for me no no you go first why all right I'm just happy to be in a Glade like I'm excited anyway yes your father saw before you see her again her yes you see that she is emerging from a tree and her skin is sort of the color of bark but she's voluptuous doctor she's got a problem and she's really you're just saying suck a robot dick yes whoever getting there Silvan girl comes out don't kiss her all right I just know he's that's a fine fine question good make a saving throw Jim oh you're by far the most attractive of the two of you rise in her eyes 30:13 all right you seem to resist some sort of charm she gestures to you with a finger to come over to her it's not my first time to the glade hang on a second sweetheart yeah but she is definitely trying to charm you she is trying to rule you with her Wiles shall we roll initiative yes is there something we want in this evil hole and we add decks yep I've got eleven eleven open I go initiative but what not to some things never change yeah it's a classic what's up do you now know the decks modifier I do it's negative one I rolled in a initiative of eleven and Jim twenty Wow Jim guess what you get to go first as the luring Dryad wants you but she hasn't done anything threatening right or she's like how you spell are trying to charm you yeah but that happened to Jim every way so you want to do you want to do you want to operate some kind of a parlay situation before you emulate this yeah so I'm gonna say what's that Oh charmed her back sure missing about a double charm situation I think she said charmer with your guns doves Oh God Oh some illusion uh-oh so yeah so I'm like you like spells huh yeah I know some magic I know a little bit and doves alright doves fly out into the forest she seems spooked by that and doesn't know what to do because it's not our turn actually are we both on eleven yes when the doves go up yes can I like step dramatically in front of the doves so I get the doves and then I will I will fast draw the loot can I can I can fast draw the loop I'm pretty sure you've been practicing in the mirror right and and I will I will sing to her Oh splendid nice all right I didn't quite believe you with your sincerity was not overwhelming there but yes I will do that thing but it's all right doesn't have any effect I mean this have any thing I should know about or is it justice used wait it's really awesome oh all right surprised by the doves entranced by your music she waits for Ben wins wait so that wasn't like a Bartok attack they're just like singing done look at any a concert it's the Orinoco it's the same room it's the same room you know all right I was playing a hunch I start singing how many we all have to sing I start singing a rush song the trees the trees so it's relevant to her gonna to settle this thing with acts all right oh I have a mole it's kind of like an act it's like a flat acts really like a blunt axe and I'm gonna swing it this Dryad you guys distracted with your all right like jump at him like you did it expecting some - and watching it up sure thank you buy that roll two dice and take a higher result I'll take the 18 yeah all right so 18 plus 6 and so I do 2d 12 Shh Plus Wow so that's seven and four which is ten plus one and then and then I had three so that for 14 points of damage 14 of type B damage Wow want all right you bluntly smack her bark skinned body she still is alive and that looks very very very bad off yeah that point in time her four sisters there was a window of opportunity you guys also could have spent your turn attacking that was trying to take your mind over by showing your boobs what we just did was the very definition of teamwork it's pretty awesome yeah well she ducks back into her tree yeah phases away but her her sisters are still there and they will attempt to charm you all hmm don't worry guys that's not aggressive I like all of you I like all of you to make wisdom saving throws but if you drank the kool-aid you have advantage advantage well thank God because I rolled a three all right that's not much better but I rolled pen okay now if you do almond my fate ancestry gives me advantage on savings versus charm or sleep sweet this seems sort of charming yep that is a sec I have advantage so I'm gonna roll again what's the points maybe not a three I don't know let's see how it goes okay twelve okay you're good good seventeen is good seven whoo hello sexy lady no no yeah you are charmed by one of them only one yes I don't like to play favorites really yeah well there is another one I'll say you're charmed by both of them home they can fight over you later okay good work but your singing also bring something out of the forest through the trees you see a galloping unicorn yeah we've all seen cabin in the woods me know how this ends a beautiful unicorn with a purple Mane which it's tossing to and fro I knew you would yes yeah as a speed I do it comes galloping out of the glade and into the room like it's waiting for someone I approach it immediately alright well oh man it is actually your turn I approach it immediately you are close to it now can I pull any kind of cultural or like I mean how do I know how intelligent these things are like I'm a story about telling me to talk to them you don't know if you can talk to yeah yeah yeah you think so you got what it takes but you try I mean I'm gonna I'm gonna kneel okay before the unicorn it impales you through the eye I kid I did know that and what it's a it's it does not impale you sir do you say anything to it or you just wait wait to speak um I see kids grace and I asked for it to mediate between these two parties he says okay it's I get to mr. ed unicorn we got a stupid unicorn I'm not stupid I'm actually quite smart all right he says I got an orb for you that's great can I have it mm-hmm or you see them get all sort of bunched up about what I imagine this is radically unlike the unicorn experiences that were related to me as a young boy the Aria I need you to get the orb I this uh baseball sized sphere this perfect glimmering sphere pops out onto the floor behind it it's all real weird you got to get the orb though VRS are you gonna get it I I'm actually I'm chatting up the the Dryad over here we're gonna get are we still in that we're gonna get coffee in a little sorry it is gem dark magics turn it's my turn are the dryads like coming at me are they gonna attack me they look like that they are a little disappointed you weren't in spelled by them right they don't look like the type we're gonna run up and just attack you know okay prefer to charm you and then drag you away to their forest layers and ravish you alright I'm gonna go ahead and take one for the team and investigate this magical crap oh you're gonna grab the unicorn but candy yeah I mean do I do i is this no is this what unicorn poop looks like yeah maybe if it's probably smells delicious yeah like yes it's like a Gobstopper yes the snozberries taste strangely in the chapter sorry just keep going strangely in the days in the chapter on Sylvan lore they left that part out yeah alright so as I'm walking by this you have a name given name unicorn my name's Wilbur right can I call you sparkle main door you had a name already you don't usually have a unicorn so disappointed it is not the unicorn you've built up in it hi my name's Wilbur I'm gonna call you sparkle me yeah is this your poop like as I reaching down to it he says no that's hella stirs orb and he you were just you know undo it yep alright well before I actually put my hands on it I want to investigate it like if it said if it's gonna hurt me like if I sure yeah it's like a dangerous magical device yeah right yeah can't make intelligence checks like yeah absolutely if nothing else OSHA has some real stuff to say about panic 18 oh yeah this is a powerful powerful device you don't think it's gonna harm you but you can feel the electricity almost come off it as you reach down and grab it all right if I don't think it's gonna hurt me then I snatch it up yeah just kind of makes your hair stand up on end okay I can fix that this product yeah just product yeah so I'm gonna I'm gonna be backing out I'm gonna be the last person out of this room i gesture with my bald head toward the door yeah I am holding my mace out in front backing away I bid good day to Wilbur or don't Sparkle Mane I mean and then we pull it out but basically if we if we think back to the snow Hollister he says to find his orb and bring the thing to the dead dragons tomb that says need or break those or in purple Sparkle paint yeah on the ark room so I feel confident in that yeah I'll uh I'll secret the orb away inside my cloak and back away with omen alright so if I'm charmed am I able to disengage here well I'm not that I want to really know all kind of swarm around you and I think like caressing you and I put a hand on it older you just a sec just so we're we're you guys do you guys have like good Thai food around here they start whispering Elven nothings in your ear no I put the hint and their bang him away yeah whack on the shoulder and I'm like bark man think about it think about it is this like oh no actually think about so far it's like smooth garnished like blue lung like birch bark okay no it's polished it's it's like it's like four different kinds of bar maybe we're like five minutes yeah ten minutes two and a half minutes all right okay and we're just in Beyonce you do it listen you don't you do it man you got it you do your thing then Lotus be out and well just kind of kick the goblin bones around just sort of past the time how about you have been win how about big win what what are you gonna grab I got the orb and I backed out yeah and oh man I don't nice kicking around bones I will leave I mean I'm not gonna stick around thanks guys I'm not gonna I mean I was willing to kill them for the experience but I'm not gonna block now let's just so they pretty much put a coat hanger on the door and I've never seen again right do I do I think like in my knowledge of dryads are they just gonna love him up or are they gonna kill him triads don't generally kill the people that they charm let's just set up camp out here let's just build a fire and he's won't live here now now want to live here but I mean he'll be out a little bit and then we'll continue I say we give him five minutes with wish for dryads I mean yeah that once a lifetime yeah actually yeah yeah yeah yeah I got what's going on I can send a song about that later on I can make tag I say we give him five minutes if he's not back out we go in and we get him yeah okay I agree you wait outside they lure you into the forest and as they are caressing you lovingly a vine noose drops around your neck and hoists you off your feet but some people pay for this you realize then don't don't kink Shane yeah this is how the lead singer of INXS died though riots dryads yeah yeah yeah you can see that the tree that they have sort of lured you up next to is alive and it's got a snarling growling angry face and all of these this is all of these nasty noises hanging from its boughs and we're out there going oh he's really getting it I'm kicking the gun skull and a frustrated today and at this point the the women have just sort of backed away and left you to the tree does this disrupt the charm in any way they are somewhat less Alaura like all right cool you're right you're okay you're fully in charge of your faculties at the moment and dangling about six feet off the ground I'm assuming that I can I can draw my rapier cut myself free do a back flip kick off the tree and like land in the room here preferably swinging by some manner of vine remember the thing is covered with nooses man your gold yeah yeah I never have to touch the forest floor at all to get back there you think that that can be done what you have to do is make an attack roll against the vine to free yourself okay so once you know a a reader stop by my signing and said that this was his lucky d20 and he gave it to me ooh no pressure yeah and I said I can't take your lucky b24 I've gotta use a dagger Ashley I'm assuming six yeah okay oh there we go 95 let's get some damage you have to do enough damage to slice through the vine okay the dagger is one to four I'm assuming yep if you have your dexterity bonus you can add that I do all right seven yes you slashed through the vine now I'm not gonna make a dexterity check to do that wonderful bit of acrobatics you described okay do you think and I get my d6 of expertise 9 I notice was I have advantage for being fabulous here no but if you drank the kool-aid you would okay they're 6 and 2 that's 8 plus 4 plus 12 all right yeah you it is like the best landing you've ever had when you land inside the room the dryads they all retreat into the foliage the hangman tree does not have the reach to grab you so you appear to be safe okay so I so that we open the door now if you do wait the other four minutes in 45 seconds I actually I go and I'll reach through and I'll grab some leaves oh yeah kind of like a No and then I kinda I rip my shirt a little bit and after after about you know a five minutes a little a little more than five minutes right I'm about ready to go in I come out kind of like sorry guys sorry sorry any adventure that occurs anything that happens during an excursion of acquisitions incorporated is property so obviously all the tie in films the books anything that happens really it's something that we own and obviously I'd be willing to discuss that with you over a nail you'll be drinking I won't but we can work that out when we get back obvious Jim worth details yeah what's Dietz Dietz okay well we have time for some dates and then we gonna go save the universe yes so do we want to try to like hit the need or no no I mean we mean deeps like about the leaves and Oh was it yeah well I mean did you get wood that's low-hanging fruit I did see what you did there I guess so I'll just leave this one alone okay gentleman never tells it's like this and there's only four haha it's super impressed and really wants to be friends with V now all right Gimenez so you're having this conversation while you're making your way there's the Hollywood Amar's gleaming exactly and so in order for us to get to the arc there is access here without going through any more terror trap rooms that is correct so the thing is we've got it said like dine or mind it since like inclined swim dig or sing diner mind choose your room right did I chose the really habit or bright final night orb bring this thing to the dead dragons - okay the second path which is where we looked in his stony effigy and we had put the orb in his lofty grip right obviously lightning but at that point awaken him and reveal what's beyond the ship well ship is an ark that's a good way of putting it yeah oh yeah at first I thought it was a bunch of seals in there like no different room it might be a different that's a different room in front room I'm sure there's a seal room listen we had we head in the nura's most we hidden that we had in the northmost I think there's an even a door act it actually the hallway just opens into this arc room you know just bring it up we've got one glittery silver room with no thread in it which gave us an experience the value yeah yeah there is another suit and there's another unmarked silver room here and there's an unmarked blue room maybe these are like the good eros bad maybe maybe these are effectively like the equivalent of an off-ramp you know where a rest area which is kind of what happened over there I think we take the org I think we follow the rules maybe your experience at rest areas is different than mine let's head over here into the arc zone okay and let's see if there's a hole we can stuff this orbit it I don't go around preaching at you I don't go around doing rites yeah all right let's check out the art room you can see that it's a huge chamber with pillars supporting the the 50-foot high vaulted ceiling in the middle of the room yes VRE is there a chandelier in here sure yeah there are four of them that's illuminating a gigantic ship on braces that's sitting in the middle of the room the ship is made of wood it is painted it does not have any masts it looks more like a funeral bar I was gonna say that's exactly what this is here and painted on the sides of the ship in absolutely breathtaking beautiful color faded somewhat by time is the ship of one-eyed Willy we found Guney it's back here I mean is this literally Hollister's what painted on the sides of the ship is bragging a great glittering blue dragon it's with brilliant as your scales we down both sides of the ship do we see a stone effigy you do floating above the ship facing away from you beyond the art is a statue of Hollister it is 30 feet up in the air and levitating and it is holding one of its arms out like this that's easy I have feathers that I kept from the bird my bird friend yeah so I use them to cast white on myself your murder bird well we had good times and bad times I'm not gonna go in to it now the one you used to murder that guy that was one of the things that happened in cold blood I'm floating up yes Jim it's good you're playing it but while you're talking yeah yeah okay so Michael I'm sorry sorry hey Ben wait sorry yeah I'm rising up all right as you rise up you come face to face with this inanimate Hollister statue okay he's got a mad mad grin on his face but I bought the orb if I was a mad mage yeah it's a hypothetical there would not be a grand reward for the people who broke in and wrecked my and Len like I mean for one on one hand mad so like mad with everything that implies right but on the other hand you know if we somehow managed to awaken this long dead dragon dragon or crazed mage whose soul was solely been slowly been the Dragons of oh yeah hi Jim hey as you're floating up there and looking down at them yeah something lands on your shoulder and digs its little claws into your shoulder and it feels familiar but it whatever it is it's invisible any cause and your ear and he says I'm back no the treasure can be ours no you turn into a demon no no I'm a bird no but just in the luge read that little statue talking to that lady kick that Li kiss me she killed me and you turned into a demon you trying to kill me that was a bad mistake climb the chandeliers and get up there but don't tell me twice I would never hurt you ginger you had me at chandelier why did you familiar why did you beat alright I want you to get him down here now there's there's a rope right so I can cut the rope and the chandelier Falls and I swing up the road yeah I've waited my whole life for this listen there's three more in this room there we go you can do them all alright you'd fly up on that chandelier what's your ultimate end goal here Falken would catch a bit of moist hair tossed up by its master I want you to catch him in midair and bring him down okay got a falcon not a falcon a Vulcan a full crest like a Ryan Seacrest no it's great if I can hit him and he like is he holding this so big is this orb like this like a baseball like a baseball rather than tackle him and maybe he'll drop it and then it explodes yes all with lightning I'm just going to like like swing by grab the orb do a flip no no whoa so you're trying to snatch the orb out of his hands I'd like you and you to make opposed a dexterity contest okay Jim you can use strength if you want but I don't think that's your thing I know it works Jim you are so startled by the bird and the crashing chandelier on the floor by the time you look up the Orbis dawn out of your hand and in his what gives what huh I still need to know where you want to land you want to just hang off the rope or do you want to land on something I'll land on the ship thank you oh yes I'm here for you all right even I didn't get on the boat the most breathtaking move you've ever seen ends with VRE going through the balsa wood boat right into the reliquary right into the reliquary of a gigantic skeletal dragon is that worse than a regular dragon better Jerry and and the boat literally just sort of collapses and caves in around him and as it does those of you outside the boat can see like bony wings sort of spill out a bony crest from the dragon and a tail just sort of fall out as well but then those things start to take on the semblance of life everybody roll initiative please pray Ben win three Jim I also got three BRE do I get to add my expertise dye for Dex Dex check let's say no in this case okay so then I am at 12 all right and I'd like you also just to make a dex check to see if you land on your feet okay 11 yeah that's good enough 15 all right I'm the dragon beats you all yeah all right here you what is it what is it reco Lynch I've heard that term is a dragon who through various dark sorcery is giving us life could that be this that is a rack of Lynch that's what's happening right now well if it's a true Dracula maybe that means it may have a phylactery or somewhere I mean it's either in undead dragon or it's the other thing we'll find out kids like turn it over to see how do you exactly you turned on me like oh right alerts dracolich there's is phylactery yeah all right the re you are its first intended target it snaps at you with its great jaws fortunately it only rolled at 10 vs AC yes the noise is a really essential it then it will lash its tail over and across behind it and take a swipe at Jim up in the air I'm flying at omen on the ground but look how long that tail is dude I'm up here it's vast it has wings - oh man that crit you deflect damage to the healer it does 18 points of light holy God and knocks you thirty feet across the room I have as a rogue I have a distract ability which I'm a little iffy on because I when a creature within five feet of me that I can see or hear hits with an attack I can use my reaction I don't know what my reaction is to cause the damage of the attack - okay so you have this ability everybody has a reaction that they can do anytime during a round in response to something else that happened it's not part of your normal turn okay I'm gonna use yours and you take nine what a higher all right next up is omen you pick yourself up off the ground all right I wipe the blood off my mouth I think it's important to find out if this is if we're looking for a phylactery to destroy or if we're looking if we have to fight this dragon well we'll have some so that would be forbidden lore the trade the creation is dracolich absolutely okay bring it because if there's just like a pot somewhere in this room that I can step on that is a one now I hesitate to ask but is that my entire turn no you may do something cool okay no we'll see if you can't you may do something cool absolutely well here I'm gonna no likelihood you won't I'm gonna that is the sort of thing that really bothers me when bone dragons physically struggling with their bodies and it's just it's been a problem that past obviously and so I invoke Tamura to deliver a sacred flame well from the symbol on my hammer directly at the creature what color flame blue okay we can clean we can play how about a green sign we can play give the people what they want so willing to strike with clear expels that's a thing of the past right that's on the spell okay this is sacred flame but this is a sacred flame that's right the target must succeed on a dexterity saving throw I'm assuming that since it has no sinews it kind of sucks on that yeah all right it rolled a four pack we'll try some radiant damage Oh radiant damage you say 10 points radiant it takes more than that it is vulnerable to radiant damage it takes 20 so I get back up on my feet do you have forbidden Lord Jim it seems like the sort of thing you would get into no I have cultural or and hobbies lore a magical war it could have been a drive every war it could have been like a Drac looks they made on the weekend yeah that's right here when you're told when your turn comes around definitely try to figure out the method of its construction it's your turn yeah I will try to figure out the method of its construction by doing what I got a forbidden lure oh great come on vo2 licit so if we roll 18 more times I'm sitting I get some sort of vast charisma bonus for this role no the solution is arrogance bonus perhaps yeah all right well that was a complete mess would you like to do something else I will any of the chandeliers over the dracolich are there schandle I first off am i like trapped between the dragon and the crumbling remains of this yeah ship yes you can extricate yourself because the ship is actually very fragile okay or I could attack it in like a sexy tornado of rage yeah yeah I can see it getting turned on by that yeah I think I will seriously attack it alright now you're hitting it with a I've got the sword that I found in the other room yes and my dagger yes three we're going up guys I'm assuming I'm assuming I don't have advantage here it's not really startled by my presence after yeah oh well but you can see you see there aren't cracks in its bones from the scorching radiant damage it took and and you looked awesome on the chandelier okay so looks good actually did they not see that because I'm kind of like oh yeah they probably wouldn't have seen that it's fine is there any way I could any other kind of magical or I will give you a magical look I don't know yet fifteen all right and you drank the kool-aid so you have well you could try rolling again might roll higher than a 15 you might roll nice with time I got 30s so it's - higher - separating you don't think this is a dracolich you think that this is just an animated dragon skelet okay considerably weaker creature all right and I'm floating above it yes you're right above it okay this is the really this is great I am I love every part of this flying wizard turret I summon a massive fireball between my hand what color is the flame it's green flame and I hurl it straight down on this thing head all right what's the radius of that fireball I mean I mean what I mean oops was this mic on five feet so therefore it's a focused yeah so the dragon has to make a dex saving throw and so do you as the balsa wood ship goes up in green flame I love you guys the dragon roll the 14 what oh well if only I'd what's the DC one well hold on because I I'm about him yeah so he doesn't like he's got a disadvantage to get out of the way of my fireball right well that's true why don't I say that's true yeah well the six okay so now I roll to set the BC you know you know you should know that these CE o the DC is built in here yeah damn it well we both failed anyway so just roll damage it's six it's 66 oh yeah bring it Jesus I can't okay so that's ten you indicated 20 22 24 damage all right this huge fiery explosion the balsa wood ship just burns away almost completely BRE is this flaming screaming marionette a memory flames the dragon I know now that it's time the dragon is still intact but it is on fire and smoking and looks like it is not going to survive much longer and then win you're up that's it are you Scott ah at level 5 I get to make two attacks as I would one and Ike written actually on a 19 or 20 Wow and I just pray I don't roll like those guys yeah this side of the table is good we're good so I just charge at it with my Maul swing and it's a tune you come back yeah other direction but ours did you remind us and that was just the fake-out too late too late put together Scott oh yeah so cool it gives me advantage Watts no fun sex another near attack role as Eccles Oh so brought your second attack and make it high that is so that's a crit and I do 2d 12 plus 3 yeah to that that's maxed so that's 15 twice as 30 points of damage this is to the dragon right oh yeah because I was a little confused earlier now I put theory out of my Maul no it's to the dragon that's Adam and you have to roll an extra weapon die damage on top of that - oh it's gonna be sweet tonight on this is blunt damage and yes so that's an extra seven boom smouldering dragon bones go flying across the room the creature is no more so who are you talking to up there was a group effort but where's my Minnie I'm sorry Mahal Scots not coming out of his nose my still yeah oh yeah I'll hit him with a healing word I would just heal him yeah I'm lucky all right we got some healing going on here dragons gone what would you like to do next once your flames aah I guess I'm confused we're supposed to put the orb in there yeah so why would the dragon attack us we were gonna do that because he fell through the guys boat he's basically asleep I investigated the boat I gained surprise upon the boat is the bird still here yeah the bird is still on your shoulder visible that's all for this human really would you say that you and I could have all the treasure what do you get me another one of those he says how much there's treasure he says it's in its arc all right I need the orb I grab I take the bird so they see me like this right I go you you and I could have all of the treasure yeah you and I okay huh Jim's off his meds again I say you almost killed my friends and I cast burning hands hard for what color flame is it they are green flame it's just look just - there's a smell like a turkey we're all damaged I'm not gonna give it any sort of save you don't to make any attack role Wow 12 damage okay the good news is that it's well the bad news is is that it is fire resistant however you still kill it so your seems like you're done with whatever you state you entered a third coming are we cool we're cool okay catch yes got it no you just toss the advantage kool-aid oh yeah 14 huh that's it I snatch it lift up past or I check one more time with omen I put it in the hand all right as soon as soon as you do electricity begins to charge out of the orb through the statue and sort of play across its form and a blast of lightning strikes the back wall of the room and the wall peels open and just sort of crumbles away leaving a sort of triangle-shaped jagged arch beyond which you see coins a gigantic stone foot oh what do you think busted into the third season of loss go how many toes hard to see but it looks like he's got five toes I know okay so would you please bring out the arc so we've been going we have been going down yeah and this statue I bet takes up the entire train right yeah good god it's a dwarf is it dwarf it looks like yeah that's what doorman tried so so we're like down here yeah so this is actual size compared to your miniatures oh my god it is this thing goes up the entire dungeon oh my god yeah charge at this point there is a voice from behind you in the room that you are in and it says thank you for finding the ark for us you saved us a lot of trouble VRE what you when you turn around in the doorway you see a short thin dark skinned man dressed in column shite robes he is accompanied by four shadowy assassins in ninja costumes rad ninja and he pulls out two short curved daggers oh and he says I am Yaris Aharon chosen of a Brandon stole my map now I will steal your life can I point out that I'm wearing a cunning disguise made of singes and a lot of injuries and abrasions recognize your hairs gone you don't look anything like the men you used to be but still he does seem to recognize you under your singed flesh BRE you're fired we are not connected in any way with VRE the person heretofore named and we actually have to go the ark belongs to me you can have the ark what no I mean no you can't have it no we came down here for treasure well how are we gonna get this thing out of here man you're not actually in the big room yet you're sort of looking up through the archway but you do feel like there's air currents circulating around this gigantic statue like a great wind is sort of whipped up around it now me I'm sorry I I know somebody in Foulk rescue has a truck yeah get a winch yeah all right someone help me move Doris Aharon aka the Viper says I paid hundreds of thousands of gold for that map I will not be denied my prized possession is nine-tenths of the law right yeah that works and then his ninjas will leave forth an attack roll initiative no yes I I'm assuming they're all clustered tightly under a chandelier yes the stacked like Jim how did you do seventeen Oh bin win fifteen oh man what initiative seven yeah some single digit number please seven they are a 24 Wow nice I believe you have all the information you need yeah I would like to to grab the rope cut it bring the chandelier down and then of course I will land among them like right here of an angry god yes but just like the fingertip of an angry god all right you can see very astutely that they like you have been through hell to get as far as they've come they are not pristine they are not clean they've got cuts and marks and scrapes and one guy's missing the hand and all kinds of crazy crap when you cut the rope and you drop the chandelier on them they all have to make dexterity saving throws fails fail fail oh my god failed and failed how much would a chandelier do let me let me ask let me let me ask the spirits of the underworld two-three-six-six yeah somewhere out there I heard 100 points of damage right I'll tell you what yeah you may roll pretty good you may roll all over your dice right now 40 rolls bets on how many ones this chandelier is made out of cast iron swords the iron chandelier now begins the adding game 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 Wow alright so the rope hoists you up and you land amid a sea of corpses are there the right number of corpses yes okay yes your enemies are dead all that stands before you is Hollister's Ark if they have if it's gonna be worth it it's gonna be worth it quick for Roos yes yes you can see that well then super ninjas have nothing the Defiler yes the Viper has all of these Scrolls in bejeweled scroll tubes which alone are worth a tidy sum all right and inside each is a deed a deed a deed to a property each property yes it's all the properties that have access to that to the to my Ben yeah probably hey LANs the one thing to not make them more of I'm alright does he have any does he have any noteworthy weapons is curved yes you see his curved daggers have jewels otisburg you can see that there's little ghost figures sort of trapped in the palm a glassy pommels of his blades ghosts big yes it's ghosts in his life like he's got trapped ancestors or something inside his weaponless Wow yes that's great I don't even used I've even used those hello they pissed I'm gonna learn it's a real display piece yeah he's put it up next to Frost morning and each of those daggers could sell for a king's ransom here sure are they are any the scrolls like spells or anything no they do not appear to be spells nor does he look like a spell cast not his bag you can use it to test gain money immense wealth so we came down here the promise of wealth yes suppose it well this is just a big statue yeah I guess that's true there is a gem that every one that emerald is actually the size of the entire party put together and these look these go late of gold yeah they could be and then he's got that big gem in his hand yep and maybe he's like a giant pinata and he's just full of gold charge it charge it one time just to see just whack the toe think of it like a pinata all right hold on a cell with gems inside I do you like is your my as my boss are you instructing me to do this there's a lot of reasons why I have chosen you to do it been when Braun spotted the first is that and this is the best benefit the most incredible the most noteworthy thing is that you are not me that that matters okay second dwarves know about Roxton yeah i'm fourfiveseconds underneath his skirts you are gonna know more about this statue please stop already Jim and Jim and I already married the state of Washington which is great because I've wanted this for a long time but can I do dwarf and HGTV and look at it and see like here's your problem right here yeah like homes on homes yeah a lot of water damage like it wards on arcs yeah you'll probably want to get up to it so you can you know caress the stone yeah yeah yeah look and this I hate the roof is nice but the flashing is okay so I'd like to I'd like to show support of this action yes by by retreating a bit and I can cover him with thought you're gonna do a support okay so I I use my dwarven card you look like a creepy over there I use my rock knowledge really did look what you did when you put your skill immediately no matter once you get within about twenty feet of it yes swept up off your feet in a whirlwind and torn up into the air you see that this this thing is sitting inside a gigantic chamber and VIN win is just swept up by the winds you stole fizzy lifting drinks I leapt after him all right you two are swept up by my husband I'm guessing there's no way they could survive that without me with my without my assistance Pacific are you asking me I think you should run in there or here here VRE is where the adventure lies I I will I will charge bravely into the breach pausing only to cut the remaining two ropes all right you two are swept up by the elemental air are you are you dead are you dead now oh wait yeah there was a riddle it's my stony effigy that organ my lofty grip done lightnings shall awaken me that happened up and reveal what's beyond the ship I mean this is it yeah doesn't say something like sucked up my bum by elemental air no I don't think that's a part of the phone no all right well I call up the the chasm is it like wind is that the wind noise in here basically like deafening there you can't hear any noise it's perfectly silent but they are just drawn up by the wind pretty cool jump into the wind so I kissed the holy symbol yes chosen of time aura I kissed the holy symbol on the hammer and I asked I Maura if there's anywhere else she needs me to be right now cuz I'll do it that's my that's my devotion like that's how I feel seeking new assignment she says I need you omen drawn to fight and slay the kaiju you gotta join us in the drift alright or as we call it upstairs what is her astral Rask what's the elder one is awakening this has been foreseen this is a huge Jaeger it's a magical Hagar and she says Yaris a harem brought with him the last shard of Hollister's consciousness when he died Aleister awakened I didn't kill him I don't know if you were watching I know you got a lot going on but that was that was not me and all right I just I accept it I clutch my hammer to my chest and I walk through the doorway and then I des don't be such a baby and then I just I just let myself fall into that the world all right what to rest as you are sweating I want ya around the statue not allister's mouth opens awesome and you are drawn up and inside of it hell yeah I am Jim you're swept up after him you're eaten by Hollister then you finally are drawn up into Hollister's mouth and you are sucked up into his head cavity through which you see red windows yep as well as this this is the VIP oh we're totally gonna drive this thing yes no no man listen VRE and I want to be want to be very clear about something we're literally forming the head that's happening you can see suspended about the room are for elaborate armatures inscribed with all kinds of arcane ruins very sort of medieval contraptions you would think that they are torture devices based on the fact that they seem to be built to hold people yeah I slip into one Michael this is just like that movie ghostbusters - so Jim master of all things our King yeah should I roll to make sure like I think I understand what's going on here you know what's going on here but you've only been fantasizing you better since you were five however it looks like each station is designed to control something different so make an intelligence check for me to discern what the various stations might do crit I know I know I know Paula - yes yes you know the two of the stations near the near the bottom are basically designed to allow this thing to walk and maintain its balance okay they're the all of that the other two stations are its left hand and its right hand Jim the event which station would you like to situate yourself you should be in one of them yeah I'm gonna go with the jab all right I throw myself in the right hand that was Morse code for coming to meet you yeah I feel the whole staff know the Jim huge magical Jim founded by ruins right all right you plug yourself in Ben win which one did you want to take I want the other fifth ignore the rod and yeah right you guys hop into the other ones will take over the continue what that's it all right foot squat as soon as a foot plan but as soon as you are last in job yeah we just yeah that was a good joke again what so it was a good joke get it out there you and I got the hand jobs once you are locked in you feel a consciousness just sort of overwhelmed over you it doesn't overwhelm you it just seems to be present and if the rabbit suddenly the statue around you begins to move and against your will it sort of holds up its staff and just sort of smashes it into the ceiling right and everything begins to sort of crumble down around you not we hurting the statue at all and then these elemental winds begin to lift this gigantic statue up out of its secret vaults oh my god it's every show I watch the kid and it rises up over the city of Waterdeep big Oh can't we see our house from here yeah is it possible to see our house can we see your house funny you should ask because when the statue crawls up or our floats up and lands in water deep no it crushes flat the black star in and the thirsty sailor tavern that's hardcore that's our bad and then the heel you can feel Hollister black cloak trying to take control and he does not seem to be in his right mind his his right mad mine yes so he's saying he's decided to take accounting right and he begins to cackle you can just hear it inside this yeah we gotta get the reins yeah you got to take control so what I need you guys to do this is a measure of dexterity and intelligence you can use either okay I need all of you to make a dexterity and or intelligence check you guys have advantage because you're still on the coup and you all are being contested by Hollister's intelligence right now he is insane so he's not quite you know doesn't have brought all of his faculties but the number you want to beat this round is 18 no problem done John Q you did it 22 whoo and I got a 20 how did you guys who wouldn't drink the kool-aid dude I got about 12 Wow yes that's a six yeah that's whatever that's the number I remember usual ha woman yeah usual yeah all right sure Julie may I now have a the time but whilst you are passing the kool-aid to your friends to your drifting friends yeah you guys have got control of the weapons okay Alistair has got control of the legs goodbye eelain's mastic Andalites no sayonara saurons silverware yeah that's that's a lot you know yeah and how is there cackles with Lee give it to him okay you drink it yeah I do it's gonna be it's like body well I'm actually in there and so you've just basically like yeah yeah it's like space food now yeah you're fine paste it probably congealed a little bit yeah fine yeah smooth going down it's gonna be it's the sort of thing where you have to squeeze the one yeah yeah gotta you've got to get the plug out of the tip of the thing yeah like easy cheese yeah easy cheese or like like Elmer's glue when you get that little cap at the end you go yeah yeah yeah anyway I drink that all right I would like you all to make another round of checks this time you're trying to be JDC of 13 easy 2100 you should be okay I should be oh wow I did fall down 18 whoa you're good I'm good Ben when did you roll twice well if I use my dexterity amount of fire I only got a six but I freeze my intelligence I got a six what are you gonna roll again roll twice for the kool-aid all right all right I sleep 13 I sucked straight from the tap there you go six seven we have control yes no more boutique shops need be destroyed so you guys got the legs yes we did what do you want to do there are buildings and avenues all around you and terrify people I might add you've been dreaming up we can crush everything so now we're seeing the real VR do we see a Trask yeah do we see something to fight as a matter of fact ahead of you several several blocks like about 15 Waterdeep blocks in a teahouse is a walled off section of the city called a district called the city of the Dead and that's the necropolis where Waterdeep has for many many years entombed it's nobles and other worthy types you see a mountain begin to rise in the city of the Dead covered on its back are mausoleums and tombs and trees and shrubs and cobbles and this mountain is getting larger and larger and larger and some of these mausoleums are beginning to tumble off its back should it chitter chatter chitter chatter I would start shooting it now yeah yeah Jim do I show the white sense that it's a weapon of some kind yes it's fighters array of green flame first of all can I just say that way to go on the green light light guy yeah well I want to fire a green blast at this thing all right a green blaster fires out make an attack roll for me go +6 yep 19 you hit all right do not need to roll damage okay you do 200 points here so in order to bring all of our weaponry to bear we may have to get a little bit closer so that the staff can get in to play oh yeah I don't I I don't remember the Tarasque being a big like long-distance player though yeah he may he may come to us let's just keep doing this for now okay you guys are just holding pad you're not gonna walk through town actually where were those deeds we can work the deeds out momentarily well no because like we want to if we're in the nice section of town then we could maybe kind of steer okay battle yeah I look over a couple deeds we're not moving I look over a couple deeds to sort of make sure that you know we're not right there yeah there's like one between you and the turret is fight outside of Metropolis thank you someone else understands why would we want to take the fight out of the trumpet the only millions of innocent people there's some what's it gonna take to get out of here is there like a football field or something we can step in well you can either you can go through the rich district or the poor district but one of those districts is gonna get flattened is is the Simon Kong who saved some elaborate contraption that's perhaps anchored no you can't drop the Sun we can't make this swing on the Sun go through the rich quarter the the rich district will be less densely populated okay and they can pay to build it again right all right the first thing I need you to do is to make another opposed to check or a contest against Hollister as he tries to exert control all of us are just delay all of you know oh I'm not gonna tell you what a rolled Wow and I didn't it's the best of the two yep I have a 14 all right you are in control mostly cotton late team in control 2011 in control okay all right let's take let's take this out of town all right you begin to storm out of town like gonna run let's make this thing go well that's good because you get a wide stride fewer building we rush yes auf wiedersehen sapphire house husband Anya sharper horse shell arcs broadsheets those guys were dicks yeah they were jerks actually they had a bad review of it alright so and you land outside of town by which time the Tarasque has fully resurfaced I don't know what it asked what are you doing at this table man you were there when I started playing yo H her ask is unique it is a gigantic lizard creature monstrous in size almost as tall as Hollister is but basically a little bit broader it's got two big horns and a huge mouth of teeth and it's charging at you now through the city of the Dead bashing through the outside wall and about to throw itself upon you right all right so we should should be hunkered down I say should be shoes names are not the same sword we use our legs to try to bolster ourselves while they yeah yeah well I think that we want it we want to get ready for the charge right or should we try to side snip when it charges at us elbow drop yeah yeah body slam actually can we get a ranged attack while it's approaching yes fire when ready 21 you're firing another ray of green fire all right boom more damage to the creature it takes all of that you see part of its mouth gets sheared off by night and you see the blasts come out its other end and as this thing charges forth Ben when you can try to strike it with your staff yeah it's a melee attack bring their thing down bring that thing down on its head oh oh no juice it's kool-aid kool-aid actually warrior two attacks though right what's that as a worry he gets two attacks sure so the first role which was one for to ignore because I get to kool-aid that first attack and that's about 13 for the first attack that's a hit alright and the second attack that's the first kool-aid roll I get a 15 oh no no I'm sorry 17 second all right with each hit you do 200 points of damage mega damage this thing will retaliate by trying to bite McAllister's head off that's what we are all right our a C's got to be pretty high I disbelieve all right it latches onto Hollister's head with its jaws but it doesn't actually damage you quite yet it is just hanging off the head and it's clawing at the stone statue with it's gigantic hind claws awesome blind with its claws now we've we currently have control of the legs I want to use my control the legs to bring the knee right up underneath right whatever it has down all right let's make a melee attacker all just it's 17 all right who the Tarasque crumples and dies I know I know it feel it feels a little rushed but yeah yeah check check for a pulse with the beam yeah yeah I'm gonna check for a pulse there is another blast of green flame 21 which hits the creature and burns it to Chardon cinders no pulse nope oh well what's to be done with this giant statue I guess we'll have to figure that out next time but for saving as much of the town as you can and crushing not one festival the city of Waterdeep is very interested in appointing one of you as a masked lord Oh bestowing upon you the power that comes with that prestigious position and I would like yes I would like the spirits of the underworld to tell us who that last Lord should be hang on should it be been wind bronzed bottom Slayer of doors Jim dark magics lair of murderous Birds VRE slayer of ninjas or omen drawn slayer of the Tarasque water deeps new mash Lord is omen drawn CEO of acquisition and we are done thank you thank you spirits of the underdog you you

Channel: Dungeons & Dragons

Views: 1,534,949

Rating: 4.9050498 out of 5

Keywords: Penny Arcade, Acquisitions Incorporated, PAX Prime, D&D Live Game, Chris Perkins, Patrick Rothfuss, Ark of the Mad Mage, Scott Kurtz, PvP, gabe, tycho

Id: S8Ra1ecLhtI

Length: 132min 33sec (7953 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 09 2013

Reddit Comments

[u/GodofSpam]

Does anyone know where to find the podcasts that go along with this?