Abigail - Episode 6: Death Brings Life

[Music] interests if my plants could talk I imagine they tell us they don't care much for pruning even so every year I meticulously trim back the leaves and branches of my apple trees my peach trees and my blackberry patch that's because I know that pruned plants are more fruitful when you prune you redirect the nutrients to the most fruitful parts of the plant welcome back to the women of the viola podcast I'm your host Aaron Davis and then each episode I gather some wise friends we open our Bible to first Samuel 25 and look at the life of Abigail Abigail was in a difficult marriage with a difficult man his name was Mabel we all have navels maybe it's your spouse maybe it's your child it could be a neighbor or a friend or a family member or a co-worker someone you can't seem to get away from but you can't seem to get along with in this last episode we'll see how God can use difficult people difficult circumstances difficult relationships like pruning shears in our lives to reshape us to make us more fruitful when we entrust those difficult people to him [Music] welcome back to the women of the Bible podcast I'm Aaron Davis and you're listening to the season that's all about Abigail and I'm a little sad for this episode it is the conclusion of our walk through the study Abigail living with the difficult people in your life and I feel just like I do on the last night of Bible study just like can't we just always have Bible study every day of our lives and so I want to reintroduce you to some friends of mine you've been hearing them on the podcast they're wise they're winsome they're wonderful and all the other W descriptive words I can think of and I've so loved getting to know you better and open God's word with you so joy and Meg are joining me on this episode and joy I'm curious just why has the Lord done in your own heart through this study I love the study of Abigail I lived Abigail and some respects didn't have a David but I did know was it contentious husband sure but I love how hits calling me reminding me grace upon grace upon grace to trust God to know I'm loved by him he's got that I can trust his working and his justification all that works out and that I can just you know give those people that need grace just give them grace and trust that he'll deal with it well joy you are an Abigail you're discerning and beautiful and Meg made what's the Lord done in your own heart through this study I am NOT God and justice is not mine to control I think I identified most with David in my responses to strap on my sword and to take revenge for myself and I've been so convicted by Abigail's example of just seeing her so highly highly revered God's Authority and his sovereignty over the situation even risking her own life to to stand up for God's authority in this tuition yeah I love that I think there's a defensive 'no sinned me that I've fought most of my life though right word for it is pride where you know when people criticize me whether big or small or question my decisions or that could be something more severe like an assault on my character I my flesh is always the first to the scene of everything unfortunately and there's a defensiveness in me that after this study I I hate even more than I did going into it I don't like that about me and Abigail shows me an alternative she's not defensive she's gracious the name of the Lord is on her lips she is a respecter of persons she speaks to others very highly whether they're in a high position or a low position and so I just I'm walking away from this study wanting the Lord to do an even more dramatic work in my life of just removing defensiveness from me this is it's an ultimately a faith issue right if I think I have to defend myself yeah I'm not trusting him to defend me so he's also used this to expose pockets where my faith is weak and that is never fun but I'm grateful for it so it's been a great study I hope wherever you're gathered with women walking through this study of Abigail that you'll take some time after this episode and have that conversation what has the Lord done in your heart because that's what the Word of God does we don't have we don't open it as a historical book although this really happened in history it's not a fable with just a good lesson at the end Abigail was real naval was real David was real they really lived we don't just open our Bibles to try and you know earn some check marks or gold stars in heaven that's not how that works we open our Bibles to know God and when we know God it exposes things in ourselves so I hope as you finished this episode you feel a little sad too because you've loved the journey but that you'll talk about what the Lord has done and I want to show us the happy ending the seemingly happy ending of this story while we rap we don't want to leave any cliffhangers here so it feels a little bit like fairy tale let me read us for Samuel 25 39 through 44 when David heard that navel was dead he said blessed be the Lord who has avenged the insult I received at the hand of table and has kept back his servant from wrongdoing the Lord has returned the evil of navel on his own head then David went and spoke to Abigail to take her as his wife when the servants of David came to Abigail at Carmel they said to her David has sent us to you to take you to him as his wife and she rose and bowed with her face to the ground and said Behold your handmaid as a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my Lord we see that humility in her again and Abigail hurried and rose and mounted a donkey and her five young women attended her she followed the messengers of David and became his wife David took a high know'm of Jezreel and those names are tough in the Old Testament and both of them became his wipes Saul had given Michael his daughter David's wife to Pilate the son of leash who was of gallim I butchered all those names but the gist of what happened what parts of the ending in this chapters sound like a fairy tale ending to you well obviously when David I mean almost [Music] you know it speaks I think to all we've seen of Abigail's character that as soon as David hears Nabal is dead he's like i'ma get her let it go and have Abigail as my own I love her he thinks about that morrow and she brought him there all the bread to a man's heart so that all sounds so romantic and it sounds like oh she's been married to this harsh evil wicked man and now she's married to King David we love King David and that's all there it's all true but even here at the end of the story what signs do we see that all might not be perfect he's got otherwise he's gonna have other wives so there's the competition she's not the sole attention or anything and plus we have to remember that she has gone through a very long season of married to this man that makes a mark on a person and he has just died and he is even though it was a terrible marriage think of what she's going through at the end of all this it's not just a neat and tidy she's not at all raising up and running to King David she's leaving behind a home and she's going to go David which is basically it on the run live and do we remember how many men he's waste like 300 wilderness a bunch of men who like to strap on she's living in the wilderness with 600 men I can relate I live with five men and I don't I don't want to camp with them for years and that's exactly the situation that Abigail's going into they're gonna wander in the wilderness for years ultimately they are he is gonna be crowned the king they are gonna live in the palace but if we know David's story what's around the corner that we know that Abigail can't see Bathsheba Bathsheba great fall her husband is going to have an affair with Bathsheba and it's going to cause it's going to cause a nuclear bomb that is going to have fallout in his life and in his kingdom and in her kingdom now forever so this is a man that we might want to romanticize this moment he's ultimately gonna have an affair and any woman who's been on this side of the affair knows how painful that is so she's really fleeing from one difficult marriage to another I was calling out to the Lord once about how hard marriage was and I'm married to an absolute hero of a man that marriage is hard and then I was reading in scripture about how I am the lord's bride and reminded that he knows a thing or two about hard marriage because I'm wayward I'm difficult I'm hard to live with so she moves from one difficult marriage to another and I'm reminded that on our best day were broken people married to broken people I mean that is still her story when Abigail was married to Nabal she was a broken woman married to a broken man and when abigail is married to David she's a broken woman married to a broken man and so I think it's important for us to not overly romanticized or sanitize the story here because then it's if we do the right thing if we behave like Abigail right then we'll get the perfect marriage whatever it might be right right and there's a danger for women to do that sure you know to look at this and say and honestly in some severe situations or just for selfish situations God can you just kill him I mean that happens or just having go away sure whatever the means in the situation me release me so that I can get a new man who will be my knight in shining armor so there's that a danger really in romanticizing anything shares war began it's humans and we fall and we are flawed and we are sinful enjoy you you are an Abigail in ways your husband was unable in many ways and yet the Lord did a wonderful work in his heart but not privy it will never be perfect and I say this over and over again we just learned to extend grace we learn to live in the shadow of the Cross so that grace is given there is mercy and there are days I say oh you're an able and then God you say it out loud he is sometimes so filled with pride and self and what we want and my agenda and you hurt me it's gotta be all about me and yes oh yes it never goes away enjoy how long have you been married thirty four years three four years it's been a few seasons and I've been married 19 and Meg how many years almost - almost two so whether you've been married almost two years or 19 years [Music] there's no removal of the brokenness this side of heaven and so let's let's not sanitize the story in a way that isn't true but Meg would you take us to first Peter 3 3 through 6 and instead of just praying for the fairytale in here I think the Lord gives us a different picture of how we can respond yeah all right three through six your beauty should not come from outward adornment such as elaborate hairstyles and wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes rather it should be that of your inner self the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is of great worth in God's sight for this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves they submitted themselves to their own husbands like Sarah who obeyed Abraham and called him her Lord you are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear love this arrow is pointing to the Abigail as much as Sarah's who's mentioned here but it's talking about these holy women of the past and scripture does tell us that Abigail is beautiful we don't know what she looks like but we know that beyond whatever external Beauty beauty she had there's an internal fountain of grace in her that comes from the Lord so whether it's in your marriage or your friendships or at work or in your church I think a lot of women listening to this are struggling with the difficult people in their own church and the few behind them on Sunday morning we are given a picture of how to respond it's with this internal beauty that we see in Abigail and while her circumstances don't go forward as perfect she becomes this example for us to follow and it's important for us to remember that difficult people are broken yeah I'm sure you've heard hurt people hurt people that's true and broken people break people I mean broken people are always gonna be broken people and we're all desperately broken so I hope I have for women as we're concluding this study is that instead of focusing on the difficult person in their life their focus is now on their sufficiency they might have gone into this thinking I've got to get out of this situation right and now I hope they're thinking whether the naval in my life dies or not whether the marriage changes or not whether the situation changes or not Christ is sufficient and I think that's a Rain Man right and focus and how do we know that part of Abigail's beauty did not come from all those years of living with nature and learning to surrender and learning to trust God and growing in that and exercising that muscle that we talked about trusting God and you know knowing that he is present in that you know there's so much beauty for me as a newlywed and in your marriage as well there's so much beauty for me looking at 30-some years of love and grace upon grace and there's this beauty inwardly and outwardly and an example for me to cling to of what it looks like it's just exactly why generationally we could be should be tightest - right mentoring de cycling but that's another study as a whole but a good one I want us to as we're wrapping this up and thinking about this study I always want to find the gospel what really made my passion from God's Word grow from a little spark to a bonfire is when I realized all of the Old Testament is an arrow pointing forward to Jesus and all the New Testament is an arrow pointing backward to the Gospels and the Gospels are this core this epicenter and so it's like this challenge when I read the Word of God where is the gospel and we don't have to look hard in this story it's not a square peg in a round hole we don't have to look hard anywhere in Scripture because the whole story of Scripture is this tree attentive narrative but let's look at a couple of verses that came to mind as I was looking for the gospel here meg can you read us Colossians 1:21 yes ma'am once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior okay joy Reedus Romans 8:7 absolutely for the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God for it does not submit to God's law indeed it cannot I love that so the words used here describe us apart from Christ our enemies and hostile yeah and these are the words used to describe Nabal we are gonna look at the story and we are gonna want to be the Abigail but in the light of the gospel we're the navel we were hostile towards the things of God and Romans passage tells us we couldn't submit to the thing that God because we didn't have the mind of Christ we were running in rebellion against his law against his ways and we all have different before some of us have a moment where we surrender in our lives to Christ for some of us it's a process but we all have a version of ourselves that before Christ looks very different than our life after Christ because we're new creations so I thought it's I think it's always profitable for us to remember that we were once apart from Christ running in glad rebellion and I'm just curious what did your before look like what did you your heart your life look like before you were surrendered to Christ joint I think full of fear and self-sufficiency and you know my own agenda and my own expectations and and obviously not a surrendering but just that fear that grappling paralyzing fear that I have to take care of myself I have to do this myself there was no one on the parameter or the exterior seem are actively involved you are you know redeeming anything and so in just the love the sheer of I just that blows my mind wouldn't anything is God's love for me I live with me I know me her and he loves us He loves us when we knew him he loves us so I am so so grateful we didn't rehearse that but you just described Nabal I mean navel I think is a man motivated by fear he's certainly a man motivated by scarcity he's gonna take there's stin genus in him and everything you just described about your before Jesus he describes just the core heart of table I have something how would you describe your performing um I would describe myself as a deceiver hmm I grew up in a Christian home I knew the answers I knew what it looked like on the outside to behave like a young Christian woman I had all the resources that I needed and the instruction but I hit a point where I knew how to lie I knew how to deceive I knew how to put on the face and I was extremely clever in what I could hide and how I could hold people at bay so that they didn't get under that surface and it took the Lord rebuilding me breaking me and rebuilding me and leading me to his truth and allowing me to walk as a child of his truth mm-hmm to take me from my craftiness know we all have a fear of being found out that is a shame that shame that we can carry yeah I I marvel at what the Lord has done in me I mean I I'm not who I was yeah we've all mentioned fear I was fear was my absolute taskmaster I mean it drove every decision that I made and just pride to the inste gree I mean in my flesh I'm an expert navel gazer always looking at myself and that looks like insecurity sometimes it looks like moxie sometimes it can look like different things but and I still I'm still me you mentioned that you know you I know me I look forward to the day and transformed and can shed me and be like Christ but he's done such a radical work in my life but I can look back and say I was in rebellion against God I did not want to follow his laws they seemed foolish and silly to me I did not want to live the way that the Lord called me to live I thought I knew better and in the beginning of the study Nabal asked this question when David asks for a snack essentially to be cared for Abel says who is David and that was the question of my heart whose God who does he think he is I don't know why he has any authority in my life and so he see that I've got this I am Aaron you know I can handle this as I flushed every area of my life straight down the toilet and so though when the Lord gives us gospel eyes to see this story we have to face the fact yeah there were nabel's that's hostile towards the things of God running and glad rebellion asking that question who is God he doesn't have any authority in my life and death was coming for us you know David the men of David's army draw their swords they are coming for an able and scripture tells us that that's the penalty we deserve right the penalty we deserve is death we were goners and yet Christ intervened gracious oh yeah for us joy you keep bringing us to the cross as we've been talking on the podcast and at lunch and as we go I love that about yes the redemption I speak of forty time maybe that should be my epitaph she always spoke of redemption oh you don't think I am so needy of that we all are but I love when you read that scripture and I was thinking about the scripture yesterday of Sarah and you know we we want to pull out just the submission piece which is such an important component but it says she did not give way to what fear and fear drives women and our behavior all the time is slamming cabinets the silent shipment or whatever because of fear and you know and on social media you sucked about all the backlash on that you know the posting because of fear because we're afraid we don't measure up and we gotta be all that and get the upper hand yes but I love that scripture uh says she does not give way to fear because what I see in Abigail is a brave courageous woman down on her own strength but the strength of the Lord because having lived with the difficult man I know what that's like you must draw strength from somewhere it's either going to be from your own self you're gonna you know pull up your bootstraps and I can do this I can write this I deserve whatever or you can cower in the corner yeah or you can trust in the strength of the Lord and what does he say perfect love casts out all fear so if we understand there again God's love which is a redeeming law which is a wooing redeeming love of the Cross he loved us so much he died for us and joy going off of that the picture of Jesus being our go-between and I see that example and Abigail right she runs to David in defense of Nabal you know she's not the one her life isn't in danger she runs before and what does she say the blame is on me I take the blame have mercy show mercy and that's Jesus for us on our behalf he may run has between misspeak it didn't wasn't even necessary he didn't even want to speak you know even before did you know baby sting and that's our picture of Jesus running between laying down a humility and he did lay down his life yeah you know Abigail risked her life it was well is that sure laid down his life for us on our behalf to bring us to salvation the passage 1st Timothy 2:5 for there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind the man Jesus Christ we need that go-between did I see that I see that mirror in geillis example here it's a perfect example of how scripture is pointing to the gospel it's fully needed the gospel he uses imperfect people that we get to mirror his gospel he does that in Abigail's life he does it in our lives that he can mirror his gospel Redemption through broken people I love that enable didn't even as we said didn't even recognize his need for someone to step in yes for him thanks while we were still closed that gap for us if we get how much he loves us and then we can not live in the fear not living or the shade because he's covered it yeah then we really are abagail's when we just no matter what the circumstance but we we understand we as much as our finite minds redemption I don't have to understand I have to understand why he loves me because I do not know why he loves her but he does cuz his Ward tells me that and his spirit tells me that and the human Redemption in this story is incomplete you know yes her husband dies which we want to celebrate but certainly was emotionally complicated yes she marries the king but if that was the complete story of redemption it would be a partial story every human story and there's always gonna be brokenness and an undone Ness to the human because we are flawed yep but it's a shadow it's a picture of a greater Gospel story and I need to remind it of the gospel all the time who started to say I'm amazed how often you defer to other Gospels and then he corrects himself and says not that there are other Gospels we didn't either add to the gospel or subtract that cut from the gospel or forget the gospel or and I need reminded know it's creation fall Redemption creation fall Redemption my brokenness Christ's sacrifice my wholeness I mean it's the gospel yeah the gospel the gospel and I've heard it said that the the ground is even at the foot of the cross meaning we all need Jesus and I would this way that the foot of the cross were all naval yeah your naval yeah your name unable because at the foot of the cross we realize our desperate brokenness are desperate neediness and that we're all hostile towards God apart from Jesus is wooing so our hope is always always always whether you're studying Abigail or ester or lamentation so our hope is always always always gospel hope not just a checklist of do's and don'ts and Scripture gives us a really good question to ask ourselves when we study the Bible how then should we live in light of all that we've read Colossians 3 comes to mind Colossians 3 12 through 14 says put on then as God's chosen ones holy and beloved compassionate hearts kindness humility meekness and patience bearing with one another and if one has a complaint against one another forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you so you must also forgive and above all these put on love which binds everything together in perfect harmony and in the margin of my Bible I have these dueling lists these are the things I need to take off these are the things I need to put on and this is a intensely practical verse the list of things to put on as a believer our compassion so how can I respond to this difficult person compassionately kindness that's not our default I don't think humility meekness patience forbearance forgiveness love peace thankfulness praise that list can feel overwhelming so let's give ladies just a few practical things joy think to your season of being married to enable what were the practical things you did to put away anger wrath malice slander and put on these godly characteristics we have such a wealth of information resources this day which Abigail did not sure not only do we have ministries like revive our hearts where they have you know so many resources we have the church we have the church which it's leadership which I know that can looks frightening or scary and not every situation it seems to work really well but that's God's design there's covering and we must remember that that the church is a covering over us when we our husbands are not are not a good or safe covering the church is and should be and I so appreciate pastors who are willing to step into that but it's not just the pastor's job we women as Titus 2 says should be so willing so available and have arms open ready to walk alongside with women we don't have to have the answers we can be praying with them encouraging them and just very practical I click find people to help with your kids find mentors for your sons if the father's not a good figure there's just I think to reach out to look around you and say what is God giving me in the way of help practically it's very it's imperative to help you know get through that time I love that your response wasn't well I dug all this stuff within myself and it worked like a charm you know we can't trump this stuff up this years is overwhelming because I think and when you are going through something like this we are we read we are wounded we don't think clearly we have kind of a brain fog we we might not make the best decisions that way wise counsel a multitude of wise counsel is so important biblical counseling anything that you can bring into your life that will speak wisdom and help you be patient kind you know all this list you know you know to come alongside we do have the Holy Spirit who is there inside of us teaching us wooing us back to Christ and that Redemption truth but we also have the body of Christ which is meant to walk alongside and I would give this practical step that we've talked about many times pray for your neighbor I mean not get them God prayers not just get me out of this situation but ask yourself this question as you're closing this study am i praying for the God's redemptive work in that difficult person's life am i praying for reconciliation am i praying for the Lord to use this to change my heart and prayer can feel so passive it can feel like I'll pray as a last resort but before I'm gonna try all these steps but prayer is how we win the battle I mean prayer is our weapon and so if you're looking for a practical way to to forgive to be humble that's what prayer is prayer is an expression of humility it is I can't handle this situation on my own so pray for your naval Meg do you have some thoughts on a practical you know let's get the fruit down where we can pick it a practical way to apply all that we've learned here yeah well I think joy had such a good comment of bringing other people into the picture and as you were reading that passage it was kind of funny that it reminded me of David in his scenario men strap on your swords and you know what's he do he turns to his guys and he gets their swords on and this first sounds to me like you know you're in a difficult situation strap on your grace your compassion your love you know bundle it all up and so I think that's a good SOS to send up to your text group of gal friends or the women in your church or your pastor is finding those that group of people that's gonna come alongside you so that in those really tricky situations you can send up an SOS and they're gonna come back to you with strap on grace strap on compat they're not gonna say or they're not going to dive into every time here together or they're not gonna say you need to get out of this situation it's those voices that know and live the way of God amen what does love look like in this situation I mean really be willing to allow God to saturate that hint sir back to you and what does he look like love is always with the character of God gonna look like a redeeming love a wooing love and when we allow and recognize that he is God we are not like you said in the beginning and we recognize that he is just he is holy and all of his words points to a redeeming it points to Christ yeah so what does love look like in your situation that's a great question to end our study with amen [Music]

Channel: Revive Our Hearts

Views: 7,742

Rating: 4.884058 out of 5

Keywords: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, women's ministry, ministry, Abigail, Revive Our Hearts, women of the Bible

Id: nekLz1WE9cw

Length: 35min 11sec (2111 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 10 2020