True Woman '16: A Conversation with Mr. & Mrs. Wolgemuth

I think many of you know the story of what happened here over the last couple of years what happened I don't know what happened tell us uh it would be it would be well I was going to say it's something akin to the virgin birth but it's not quite on that miracle all right I want everybody to go Bob that's good bill I don't this is what happens when it gets unscripted in the studio we edit these parts but what if you don't know the story Robert you were married for 40-plus years yes your wife passed away yes Nancy you were never married and in fact you had pretty much determined that it was God's will and God's purpose that you would be single for a lifetime that's what I thought yeah so the the idea of marriage when it first kind of popped on the screen for you and it popped on the screen because you started getting emails from yeah I want to sat down with you and Mary Ann when I was in Little Rock and said I'm getting these emails from I knew they knew Robert do you they seemed a little I'm not sure he's sending these to all his clients do you think that maybe he is thinking something and and before you could think about Robert you had to stop and ask the question am i open to marriage I did and I didn't know but you know this little um hanky here yes Lord yes Lord means whatever you want for my life you want me to be single I am very sad you want me to be married yes Lord you want me to have children well I don't think he wants me to have children ready probably he knows right Sarah Abraham's on we'll call him Eisen even if it's a girl we'll call Eli's but really it was of course God was drawing my heart and I told Robert in the first conversation we ever had I said my I've never had love awakened in my heart in this way and if the Lord wanted me to be married he would have to put something there that has never been there and so it wasn't really by and large the emotions leading it was what is God saying and there was one step at a time with the Peace of the Lord searching the scripture we had time of fasting and prayer it does the Lord even want us to take a next step Roberts daughter Missy is here with us this weekend one of your two daughters and so thrilled she could be and Robert was very close to his daughters and his grandchildren now our family and he was we were getting counsel I was for my family and ministry family and just doing this in a process of seeking is this God's call and then you can let your emotions of course your emotions are being stirred love was being awakened in my heart but I said I have to know that this is what God has for the season in my life because if it's not it's not best for Robert it's not best for me it's not best for the kingdom of God which is what we really live for so it was a process of seeking counsel seeking the Lord and reading for him over time to give that green light Robert you had great respect for admiration for Nancy from a distance you've worked with her in a professional idea in Texas right but respect and romance are two different things really yeah yeah like Nancy the Lord awakened love for this woman I love shepherding my wife it's a great metaphor used in Scripture and I've done my best over the years to listen carefully to the Good Shepherd and we walked through the valley of the shadow of death and then the Lord gave me a new lamb to shepherd and it's a it's been an amazing thing every once in a while we'll look at each other and say you are exactly what I need it it's true and with that count anybody who's married here knows that even if you aren't you know that the so much of marriage is and life and relationships and serving the Lord nothing wouldn't none of us are perfected and so we're in process and this is a sanctification process there are there been huge adjustments for me just months getting used to having to sleeping in the same room with somebody anybody that's less of him and things they don't tell you before you get married oh my goodness oh but there have been adjustments for Robert too and a lot of changes but you know one of the things we talked about early what was going to be our first major argument and we've talked about this and said you learn as you walk with the Lord that if you walk in humility if you choose forgiveness if you breathe grace in and breathe grace out that you can deal with things as they arise we've had things arise and but I think both of us have walked with the Lord now enough time to know that if you do it in Pride if you stiffen up if you're resistant if you're critical if you're it's not going to go well and so as those things are arising and Robert is just such a joy to live with in a and the first to get to the cross the first to ask forgiveness I was thinking about that the other day honey you are just so quick to when we're talking about an issue to really listen and to say you know man and seen it from that perspective so I'm very blessed to have that but no matter how great a husband you have or no matter how difficult the husbands you have it takes humility and forbearance and choosing I'm like I'm gonna let that go I'm not going to make a big deal about something I can dig my heels in and wait until he says I'm sorry or I can say that's not a big deal and Robert does this all the time he is for Barry he's gentle but he had to learn that in 40 some years of a first marriage and as a dad and a granddad and a businessman and I'm learning it too and so it's there's joy you see like you know we're dressed for the platform today but real life is very much like your real life busy not a lot of margins so we talked coming into this conference that it was going to be so full that we said we really need to pray that the Lord will protect and keep us walking in the spirit because there be a lot of potential for misunderstanding for hurt feelings and we don't want to come out of this week and then be looking at each other and saying you really hurt me you really wounded me and you weren't thoughtful so we need prayer like everybody else and the thing that is helping us so much Robert starts every day before I wake up he's with the Lord on his knees in the word then the first time we see each other he's praying over a day last thing at night we're praying together as always long don't put your husband under pressure this is having to be somewhat great long pastoral prayer last night it was pretty short and that's okay but we're just saying Lord we need you we need you we do and so I'm very thankful for this season I'm thankful for a woman that he's making me in in ways that God was sanctifying me through singleness and now I sanctify me through marriage and whatever calling God has for me or for you it's a good one when we say yes Lord so let me ask you just quickly is is there a way where you would say over the last year this is how I'm wrong this is what I've learned about God or worried about myself here is how sanctification has worked out as a result of the two of us becoming one you have a way yeah real Nancy talked about this a real openness to each other listening carefully humility and and being really aware that the Lord has put us ministry together and and knowing that we aren't our own nor bought with the price but at the same time we're so ordinary we have an extraordinary God and that's really what's important so you know we join with all of you in in embracing that same God same grace same mercy same forgiveness enjoy so we are this this is amazing we are so grateful and thank you for your op the opportunity to be here with you thank you for coming to this conference and giving us a chance to to join in this wonderful worship time together I would say two quick ways that the Lord things I knew but then I'm getting to apply differently in marriage one is the importance of bringing every thought captive to the obedience of Christ I share in the book that will be coming out in February that I've just written I was writing a book on wives loving your husbands while we were in our first year of marriage so this has been very timely and I can tell this in that book I can remember waking up one night in the middle of the night well actually I wasn't sleeping much nights those first months and in my sleep-deprived there were so many changes taking place I remember the middle of one night I'm thinking what have I done and feeling like this man lying in the bed next to me is a total I don't even know who this who is this Who am I and it was me it was me but this there was this is a moment when you can let your emotions run and they're going to take you a not good place or you can rein in every thought to the obedience of Christ and you start tell counseling your heart according to what you know to be true and that is I am this is my husband I am his wife God has put us together we have vowed we will we will make this work by God's grace I mean you're just taking your counseling yourself instead of letting your emotions run off and for us women that's huge the second thing is also huge for us women especially as firstborns and that is the willingness to relinquish control and let's just say we have did you hear that I heard this I heard the crowd yeah we are living in a house that I have lived in for 25 years and it's done quite well for me just the way it is and it's miniature it's just nice little oh the house is a little honey just things you know I'm sure I do the dishes like on my knees the counters like will but thank you for doing it my pleasure okay so Robert loves building he's a guy and he does he likes closets to be uber organized all my friends come in and they're jealous they wish their husbands would do this I'm going I like excuse me I like my stuff strewn all over that closet a shelf cubbyholes places for shoes shoes goes on the hook see honey the floor is for shoes he goes oh no every closet in my house our house now has shells and cubby holes and there are very few shoes on the floor and then I mean we have a new deck it's beautiful but I couldn't see it till it was done and I'm going does this mean I mean I know he says he's done this before and I'm sure he has but what did it look like when he was done it just being honest I know why your mom friends so go anyway it's a willingness to say I don't have to be in charge I'm not in charge I'm not God I'm not in charge of the world I'm not in charge of this man and it's okay even if it doesn't turn out a way that I would have loved it it's not a right way to do a closet it's not a right way to do a deck it's not a right way to do dishes and even more important things to say you know to try and just really hear it from his perspective and Robert does this so well that was his teaching me but I don't have to be his I'm not his mother I'm not his holy spirit and I am an editor by trade which means I am professionally proficient at looking for mistakes Robert says I can spot a typo on a billboard going by 85 miles an hour and so occasionally he will say to me you adding me and sometimes I do and I realize that doesn't bless a man but when I encourage my sneak words of affirmation that 30 day has been encouragement challenge it's really a great thing so those are some of the things I'm gonna hurt you do a weekend to remember marriage getaway okay Robert would you pray for our day Lord Jesus we worship you you are our Good Shepherd and we have everything that we need we have everything that we need so thank you for meeting those needs thank you for loving us thank you for your mercy thank you for the cross where would we be without the cross and the empty tomb so we thank you for these sisters few brothers out there thank you that you've bound us together in community your church the gates of hell don't have a chance so we thank you for this ministry we thank you for this conference we thank you for your spirit that brought us here binds us together opens our hearts gives us a chance to stand before you and be clothed in your righteousness we thank you in Jesus name and all God's people said amen you

Channel: Revive Our Hearts

Views: 109,284

Rating: 4.856586 out of 5

Keywords: robert and nancy

Id: ZOa7C6dE5Cs

Length: 16min 4sec (964 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 17 2016