Abigail - Episode 3: Defusing the Situation

you know how it feels to be bundled up it's warm it's cozy it's safe Abigail knew how it felt to be bundled up in the love of God welcome back to the women of the Bible podcast I'm Erin Davis in each episode I'll be your host I'll gather some favorite friends around the table as we walk through the study Abigail Abigail was in a difficult marriage with a very difficult man she couldn't escape her difficult circumstances and yet she knew her inner self was safe she was bundled up in the love in the sovereignty in the care of God even when difficult people are difficult circumstances into our lives we can have peace we can know that we are bundled up in the love of Jesus so grab your Bible open to 1st Samuel 25 I cannot wait to show you of the bundling up care of God showcased in the life of Abigail [Music] welcome back to the women of the Bible podcast I'm Aaron Davis and we've been looking at a passage in 1st Samuel 25 trying to understand the life of a woman named Abigail and she is a gem of a woman a treasure hidden in Scripture we've been walking through the study together Abigail living with the difficult people in your life and I've been gathered with friends we've got something good to drink we've got our Bibles open we've got our copy of the study I hope that you have something good to drink and I hope you have your Bible open and your copy of the study I hope you're gathered with some great friends just like I am as we're looking at this woman who models for us how to deal with difficult people in ways that honor the Lord and show grace I want to introduce you to some friends of mine you've already heard their voices on this podcast but I'll let them tell you a little bit more about themselves first we have my friend joy thank you it's good to be here I'm enjoying mcclain and just down the road three three hours away and married to my beloved for 34 years 4 kids six grandkids I I've said I want to skip parenting and go right to a man that seems like a really good grandkids look close to you yeah we're also joined by another friend of mine meg tell us about yourself I am Meg Honnold I live about 15 minutes down the road from Aaron in Rolla Missouri with my dear husband Phillip but I grew up on a farm loved the Midwest I love the woods yep-yep loved growing up on a farm and I live in Missouri on a farm so we didn't plan that but we're farm girls which you know I think kind of makes us experts on the story there absolutely because what does Nabal do for a living he's got those sheep two sheep he's got goats he's a farmer so if you're just picking up on this podcast I'll give you a quick review I used to say it was the CliffsNotes version of things but nobody knows what Cliff's Notes versions are anymore so it's the it's the Wikipedia it's the Twitter version of what's happening here in First Samuel we're just focusing on one chapter that's what contains Abigail's story and there's three people that really we've been introduced to first is David you probably know him as King David though he's not yet King he's been anointed king he has slayed the giant Goliath but at this point Saul is still King and David's on the run from Saul's temper and then he meets the man Nabal and I think it's appropriate for us to boo and hiss every time we say Nate oh we just don't like him he's rude the Bible tells us that he's harsh that he's ill-behaved and we've seen that play out in this first interaction with David meg can you remind those are listening what does David ask of Nabal can I come over can I bring my guys we were kind to you be kind to us yeah sure some food that's right they know that it's shearing season they know that the men are out working in that those men are eating and they are on the run they have been kind to navels men and in a really gracious honoring way David sends this request through a servant hey could we could we eat basically could you share your goods with us and joy remind us how does navel respond not well no he's nasty and not kind not gracious very very mean-spirited he's mean-spirited he's sarcastic he's he undercuts David he's patronizing and so we don't like naval and so we're walking through that and I want to guess to Abigail to this point we've only heard her name and scripture has told us that she's discerning and beautiful what a great description but we haven't seen that in her yet we've just learned her name she's navels wife but we're gonna hear from her in this session first Samuel 25 14 through 17 I'm gonna read it to us if you're following along with us I want you to read it right where you are but one of the young men told Abigail navels wife behold David sent messengers out of the wilderness to greet our master and he railed at them I love that description he railed at them don't you know what it's like to be railed as or railed over or ramrodded I mean that's what happens here yet the men were very good to us and suffered no harm we did not miss anything when we were in the fields as long as we went with them they were a wall to us both by night and by day all the while we were with them keeping the sheet now therefore know this and consider what you should do for harm is determined to come against our master and against all his house and he is such a worthless man that one cannot speak to him nobody can even speak to him I'm sure we can think of that person that you just walk on eggshells around you don't know how they're gonna react you're afraid to talk about anything in their presence for fear of how they might react and we're being careful as we're walking through this study that we're not always looking at others I think there are problem I know there are moments in my own life that people would say I can't even say a word to her without her flying off the handle but why do you think the servant goes to Abigail and what is he essentially telling Abigail Meg I think we find that she has a reputation of this discernment and wisdom and I've got to think as wealthy as Nabal is and you know important as he is that he had to have a right-hand man or other guys that this servant could have gone to and I appreciate that with this reputation of discernment and beauty and intelligence he knows he can go to her and trust that she's going to handle it in a wise way he knows that in going to her it's going to be handled correctly and I hear fear in this voice I mean I don't know if he knows David's men are on the way we know that from the text David and 400 of his men and what does David say what enables rude to him he says grab your source we're going in so this is not a negotiation that's about to happen David is determined to wipe out navel and the servant here discerns we're all in trouble yes you know even though this is a difficult man even though he's harsh even though nobody can say a word around him the servant discerns the whole house is gonna suffer because the house of David is coming against the house of navel so what are Abigail's options here Julie what do you want what are her options I think and first of all the servant trust that she's going to choose wisely yeah so her options are you know she could do nothing she could be paralyzed she could lash out she could but he obviously trusts her to do the right thing there's so many things she could do it wrongly but she chooses wise yeah and the men could have taken up arms they they could have fought she could have been army ever wrong he could have grabbed an army of her own she could have hidden I mean there's obviously some distance between some of these conversations naval is not at home with his wife he's out cheering the Sheep David is not in navels household he's out in the wilderness it's a distance that can be closed because the servant gets to Abigail but we don't know how much time so Abigail at this point is removed from the action and she's married to a harsh man so one option she had was to think okay well maybe I'll be rid of this guy yeah so she has lots of different options but I think both of you saw something in the text that I see too is that we don't see Abigail do is repay foolishness with foolishness or anger with anger I fight that temptation in my own life someone shrill to me I'm gonna be shrill to them someone's sharp with me I'm gonna be sharp to them someone acts a fool around me I'm gonna maybe act a fool around them but we have to remember the kind of woman she is how did verse three take us back to 25 verse 3 what words are used to describe Abigail discerning and be discerning and beautiful she's discerning and beautiful and that's where I want us to focus our time in this episode is on that word discerning we we all shared with each other that we would love for somebody to call us discerning that is high praise but you know what I think that's kind of a church word I think it's kind of Christian ease and it might be one of those words that we just gloss over we know it's good we know we'd like to have it but what does it mean exactly to be discerning so I'd throw it to you and it's okay if this is clunky because it is a concept that we don't have a lot of clarity about but joy what do you how would you define discernment well obviously it's knowledge or just to think to consider we know it's wisdom but we just to take the time to consider where the option what is best what is the big picture who does it benefit not to just react selfishly or out of fear out of haste or whatever but just to think wisely consider yes I love that what do you think make how would you define discernment I think if I put it in today's terms it would be having a filter and I don't just mean for what we say but filtering what we're allowing in and we have all this access to information everywhere and so having that filter or that guard the discernment to say okay what am I gonna allow to sink in what am I gonna pass the side and then taking that in our responses and our relationships and our words I love that I don't sure I would have thought of that and that way you're 20 years younger than me no 15 you're younger than me and you might have talked about how as a woman in your 20s the information overload is just constant and you it and we've also talked about how you've had to learn to work through what is actually Bible yep and what is someone's thoughts and what is someone's thoughts about the Bible someone's version so it is a blog article all right and that I think that is a way to practice yes discernment it's not just what comes out that is discerning but also what comes I need discernment when I open Instagram for men oh yeah I would just define it simply as wise judgment similar know what you said joy it is rooted in wisdom it informs our decisions proverbs 16 21 tells us that the wise heart is called discerning so there may be we could think of them as two sides of the same coin that wisdom is one side and discernment as the other wisdom perhaps being a heart attitude discernment being how that shows up in our lives whether it's just the the wisdom of a pause in the situation or the wisdom of what we read in what we don't read and then we discern those two and it's still a little bit hard to define I I did as much digging as I could in scripture about discernment and unfortunately there wasn't a first word said and the definition of for the people of God is I think we have to use discernment it's something that we need the Lord's help with but when I can't define something I try to think of his example so in your own lives can you think of a woman who you would say absolutely she's discerning she has the gift of discernment the Lord has given her discernment and would you just describe her for us as a picture joy can you think of a woman of discernment in your own life I can't you think of a good friend of mine who has great discernment and I would also describe her as very gracious she's beautiful too inside now but I think there goes the time factor she's not quick to always respond she was quick to listen and I think evaluate and pray over and pray through and her husband happens to be a successful business owner so they have to have discernment with what God has given her with the wealth and how you know what to do with that and steward that well but I have seen her over and over just absorb something and take the time to consider and really pray and not be in a huge hurry to dish out an answer you need to be more concerned about what God thinks about this then the pressure of people and a time frame I love that what's that Biblical encouragement that we are slow so to speak and quick to listen quick to listen and slow to become angry and I do think that is an indicator of discernment making you think of a discerning woman in your life I can think of so many um I have a dear friend and she's around my age but I immediately think of her and that I've watched her lay aside some really cool opportunities you know with maybe some some to him it would give her some status whatever it might be and I've watched her really consider those and I think i watch her consider her yeses in her nose and what she allows into her schedule and into how that will affect her marriage and her family and instead of just jumping at and everything that comes along she really weighs and balances that knowing how it will affect her daily life yeah I think it's possible to be a good decision maker apart from the Lord I don't think you can be discerning apart from the Lord so we're not looking at this study like learning new character traits necessarily we're looking at this study and and it's exposing our need and we need the Lord to grow us in discernment my hope for the women who are doing this study in living rooms in Sunday school classrooms I hope I hope there's people that are doing this study together across the miles and listening to the podcast I hope as they listen to this episode they cry out to the Lord and say Lord make me a woman of discernment it's not something that we can do on our own there's no get up 15 steps to becoming a discerning woman it's something the Lord has to do in us and it's something that we see the Lord has done in Abigail so I want to pick up the story and I'm going to read us verses 18 through 22 this is Abigail's response to this news that comes through the servant oh we're in trouble then Abigail made haste and took 200 loaves and two skins of wine and five sheep already prepared and five days of parched grain and a hundred clusters of raisins and two hundred cakes of figs and laid them on donkeys we got a pause there for a minute it speaks to their wealth which we already know that Nabal and Abigail are a wealthy couple but how did they already have two hundred loaves of bread baked what kind of situation are they in out there in the woods but anyway on the donkey and it all sounds quite delicious sometimes reading the Bible makes me so hot yeah verse 19 and she said to her young men go on before me behold I come after you but she did not tell her husband Nabal as rode on the donkey and came down under the cover of the mountain behold David and his men came down to order and she met them now David had said surely in vain have I guarded all that this fellow has in the wilderness so that nothing was missed of all that belonged to him and he has returned to me evil for good God do so to the enemies of David and more also if by morning I leave so much as one male of all who belongs to him now David knows the promises of God David knows that the people of God are gonna stand God has said who blesses you I'm gonna bless who curses you I'm gonna curse David's leading into that and he thinks okay navel is a goner here but what do we see in the character of Abigail in the way she's responded so far she gathers the goods of her household she sends the servants out in front of her she herself rides on a donkey and she comes up to David at this moment that David still really frothing at the mouth I mean he's still very angry and what do you see so far in her character Meg I found for me that it was important to note that Abigail and David both responded quickly the issue wasn't a quick response sometimes you know the pause is necessary but in this case it needed a quick response obviously there are two responses were very different right I think it comes down to David wanted to take control of the situation and Abigail was honoring God's control over the situation and it it turned out completely different responses yeah and we see the inverse of navel you know navel was like I'm not giving you any meat right giving you any men and Abigail's like I'm gonna give you Kate yeah and raisins and Bizzy comes in humility and that scarcity versus abundance yeah you know he was close fisted he wasn't going to share and her hands were open were her hands just open to save her skin maybe but we know she's a woman of discernment and beauty we know she's a woman of wisdom and so I think there is that I think we do see a trust in the Lord this had to have been a costly gift even if they owned thousands of cows and goats this had to have been Costigan the sheer numbers make you pause and go right in places they're putting out so much because it is sharing seasons so they are feeding a lot right but I also took such courage yes cuz she could have stayed that sure but she you know she could have sent everything onward but she she goes to you to speak with him personally she does I think we see I just love this girl let's think we see so much goodness in her and I'm just gonna pick it up 23 through 31 here Abigail and David speak when Abigail saw David she hurried got down from the donkey and fell before David on her face and bowed to the ground she fell at his feet and said on me alone my lord be the guilt please let your servant speak in your ears and hear the words of your servant let not my lord regard this worthless fellow Nabal for as his name is so he is navel is his name and folly is with him but I your servant did not see the young man my lord whom you sent now then my lord as the Lord lives as your soul lives because the Lord has restrained you from blood guilt and from saving with your own hand now then let your enemies and those who seek to do evil to my Lord be as enable and now let this present that your servant has brought to my Lord be given to the young men who follow my lord please forgive the trespass of your servant for the Lord will certainly make my Lord a sure house because my lord is fighting the battles of the Lord and evil shall not be found in you so long as you live if men rise up to pursue you and seek your life the life of my Lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living in the care of the Lord your God and the lives of your enemies he shall sling out as from the hollow of a sling and when the Lord has done to my lord according to all the good that he has spoken it concerning you and appointed you Prince over Israel my Lord shall have no cause of grief or pains of consciousness for having shed blood without cause for my Lord working salvation himself and when the Lord has dealt well with my lord then remember your servant it's a beautiful speech she's articulate she's passionate but there's so much going on there what do we see what jumps out at you about way that Abigail responds to David joy she takes it upon herself she says me alone My Lord be the guilt yeah so she's taking it upon she's putting that on her own Schultz yes and though she did nothing wrong she's humility yeah absolutely million she jumps off that donkey as she boughs as soon as she sees him which is a posture of humanity you know that's why we bow when we pray and we don't always have to bend when we pray of course you can pray when you're walking you can pray when you're sitting you could pray everywhere you go but when we bow it's a posture of humility before the Lord and there have been a few times in my life work this was my posture in front of the Lord on my face yeah and it's I need you I need you to intervene and that's what we see in her she takes it on herself but she also how does she talk about David what does she say about him to him Meg what you see I think she calls out how the Lord sees him she calls out the purposes and the plans that God has for him she reminds him who's in charge and in light of that who he is and she doesn't go out and wag a finger at him which i think is really nice she simply reminds him who God is and who you are and in contrast in Abel who navel says who is David as if he's never heard of David and his wife is like but you're the Lord's anointed yeah and when you are Prince over Israel she is absolutely reminding him who he is there's a story I don't know where it came from but it's part of the lore of our family of an African village a small village and when a member of that village sins or fails the other members of the tribe circle that village member and what they say is this is not who you are and they remind him you're kind you're generous you're giving this is not your identity and we do that with our sons I've watched Jason do it over and over and over he will say this is not who Davis men are have you ever seen your papa behave like that have you ever seen your paw behave like that have you ever seen me behave like that and it has more punch when he does it but I drop down and look at their little faces and just say this is not who you are and that's what happy girl's doing she's saying you'll be so glad when you are king that you did not shed innocent blood and this is not who you are and we hear the name of the Lord on her lips there's the lowercase Lord she says many times referring to David but there's the capital L Lord and in this speech she says six times she's talking about the Lord the Lord the Lord the Lord and this is how we know she's a woman of faith she knows both the promises of God that God has promised David will be on the throne and she just knows who the Lord is I think that is one indicator of a woman of discernment it's the Lord's name who is on her lips it's not me me me me me it's not iiiiii it's not even you you did this and you need to change that and you this it's the name of the Lord that is on our lips and so when I think about discernment I think about it not being a switch that we can flip on and off today I have discernment today I don't it is just an outflow of knowing the Lord and the whole purpose for us doing this Bible study is we want to know the Lord yes we want to know how to deal with the difficult people in our lives but there's no checklist again the way we learn to deal with the difficult people in our lives is by becoming women of discernment what does the Bible tell us joy is the beginning of wisdom fear of the Lord the fear of the Lord and what is the fear of the Lord what's that look like fear of the Lord and my life means looking at him I think completely having having an equal view of he is he is God he is king he is the authority we see Abigail here revering his authority above all else you know she risks her life to honor the Lord's authority over this situation also knowing him as friend and cultivating that personal relationship putting him above the fear of man looking at him first yeah I think when we deal with difficult people we need a bigger view of God absolutely we can get so bogged down in that human relationship we can default the fear of man which yeah Roberts tells this is a snare it's a traps right you notice Abigail doesn't pick a side no she's not worried about the fear of a sure but she's you know guarding his household at the same time she's God is first sure in this situation I love that joy can you read us Hebrews 5 11 through 14 yes about this we have much to say and it is hard to explain since you've become dull of hearing for though by this time you ought to be teachers you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the Oracles of God you need milk not solid food for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled on the word of righteousness since he is a child but solid food is for the mature for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil do you want to be on milk or meat spirit well hey I want I want some meat I don't want anybody to look at my walk and say she's such a baby you know she's not growing yeah I like how they put the powers of discernment I want a superpower of discernment how do I get that me - and what did it tell us we do what's the word it used we had trained by constant by constant practice so I think I'm discernment like a muscle yes you know I need to flex it I need to grow that muscle and so is we want to be women of discernment that's what we want to do yeah and I think about the women who picked up this study nobody picked up a study on dealing with the difficult people in their life right accidentally yes looking maybe you did maybe you thought it was about something else but you you want to know how to deal with that difficult person or you know you're the difficult person and I think if we want to be discerning we can practice using that muscle with the Lord's help and maybe the difficult person in your life is the is the weight that's gonna help you flex that muscle and grow in the area of discernment I'm sure you're familiar with what's the promise that we have regarding wisdom and James the Bible tells us when we lack wisdom what should we do we ask we ask and what will happen we'll get it have it to us generously and without finding fault and so I want to be a discerning woman I would love for people to say about me like Abigail she was beautiful and discerning yeah and so we asked the Lord for that it always points us back to the work we want God to do in our lives so I'm asking the Lord to give me new ways to respond I'm sure that you are and I thought by way of sending women out with that thought we just pray Philippians 1:9 as a prayer for all of us as we grow in discernment so meg can you read us Philippians 1 9 and this is my prayer that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and in depth of insight [Music]

Channel: Revive Our Hearts

Views: 12,503

Rating: 4.8914728 out of 5

Keywords: Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Revive Our Hearts, ministry, women's ministry, Abigail, relationships

Id: v0hQC88jAQk

Length: 29min 2sec (1742 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 20 2020