A Very Good Marriage by Zac Poonen

[Music] let's just look to the Lord in prayer before we begin our heavenly prayer every good and perfect gift comes from you and there's nothing we can produce that will ever be good or perfect we pray that your presence by your spirit will be here you will speak to us according to our need this evening there are needs here which are known and unknown we pray you'll speak to all of our hearts in Jesus name Amen I want to show you something very interesting in the very first page of the Bible now if you're a Christian I'm sure you'd have read the first chapter of the Bible even if you didn't go very far in the Bible you don't read the first chapter about how God made the heavens and earth he created the heavens and earth and then over a period of six days he remade it when it was spoiled and the thing we notice here is God is almighty and of course he could have with a snap of his fingers done everything in a moment but he's a God of order and there was the reason why he did that making of the earth earth in heaven in over a period of six days it's from that creation and the seventh day of rest that we have our week where we have one day of rest in seven but what I want to point out here is and every day God did made something and then he examined it the first day it says he made light and he said it was good and then the next day he made something else in the next day made something else in the next day he made something else and he kept on saying that's good it's good it's good it's good it's good all the way up to the fifth day and then on the sixth day God suddenly says not good have you noticed that five days he says good good good good good and then suddenly he says not good what was that that was when a man was single and Adam was Allah he first made Adam and then he said it's not good for man to be alone that was on the sixth day you read a bit in Genesis 2:18 he said it's not good so it's something like you know teacher correcting an answer paper and saying tick tick tick tick and then across it's wrong something's missing here then we read that God made a wife for Adam and brought her to Adam and United them and then he said very good it is not just good so you got to see the progression there in Genesis chapter 1 it's very interesting to see you good good good good good not good and then very good what was it - it was not good when a man didn't have a wife and what was it that solve that problem and made it very good when he got a wife do you feel like that by the way if you have anyway even if you don't I want to say that's what God wants it to be like and that's what we see in the first chapter of the Bible he wants your marriage not just to be good when all the rest of the world is good he wants your marriage to be very good then how is it but when you look at a lot of marriages today and even a lot of so-called Christian marriages we have to say not good not at all good it's in a pretty pathetic situation I mean I've been in Christian work for nearly 40 years and I've had the occasion to counsel and talk to a lot of Christian families and I tell you some terrible things that go on in so-called Christian homes you don't hear much of it outside because everybody's very pleasant when they go to church they look so holy but if you only could see what goes on in their home it's not good and what I want to say is you got to believe that that is not God's will you know once you accept that oh well that's normal that's how everybody else is well then it's never going to change once you accept that state of affairs as normal it'll never change but if you can come to the first chapter of the Bible and say well that's not supposed to be how my married life should be that's not the way God intended it you know just like if you buy an expensive product and the instruction book says it's supposed to work like this you have that problem sometimes with computers you get a computer with a very fast processor and then it's working so slowly it takes such a long time to load a program and you say hey something's wrong it's not the way it's such a Intel Pentium 4 is supposed to work and you call the person who fixed it and say there's something wrong here because it's slow it's crashing so often then something's wrong you wouldn't I mean if you're a person who are using your computer every day you'd want it fixed immediately why aren't you so eager to fix your marriage which is so sluggish crashes so often just like the computer and something better than an intel 4 processor you have and God gave me something with God himself the original model he said very good that's the way it's supposed to be and the man who fixes the computer comes along and says hey you went and did something wrong here that's why you messed it all out but never mind we can fix it there's a guarantee on it the wonderful thing about marriages is God gives you another one-year guarantee a lifelong guarantee he's to come back to me I'll fix it up any time that's not the way it's supposed to work your computer is not supposed to crash every so often no what do you think of a man who's accepts his marriage crashing everyday with explosions and all types of things no there's a virus you got to get rid of it that's the only way and that's the solution the Bible gives you can have a marriage which when it's examined down to the deepest detail inside your home the way it works in your home that Almighty God Himself can certify it's very good see man certifying that your marriage is good means nothing because they don't know your marriage I mean I think of the people who know you best how much do they know if your marriage I mean whenever they come to visit you in your home you're always on your best behavior they don't know what really happens there when they're not there but Almighty God think if he can certify very good one who examines every area of a married life I think what a wonderful marriage that is so the very first thing which I wanted to establish in your mind is this computer is not supposed to work so slow it's not supposed to crash the original model which God made was God certified it's very good it's certified examined it's supposed to be work much better so what am I saying therefore don't accept that substandard marriage that you have right now don't accept it right from the beginning of your married life God wants your marriage to be very good he doesn't want it to be not good he wants it to be very good so I wish I could convince you about that because once you're convinced about that then you really seek for it otherwise you know something of a fellow's ignorant of computers who's all that he's seen as the old what they used to call pcs which worked so slow and then he expects the same speed here on this Intel Pentium 4 and somebody says hey listen this is not supposed to work like those old models this is supposed to be very fast supposed to be very good that's what I want to say about your marriage it's not supposed to be like all those marriages that you see in the world around you it's supposed to be very good if you can be established in this one truth that God designed married life to be excellent to be very happy God is the designer and producer of happiness everything he does is to make us happier and better people the Bible says that God sends only good and perfect gifts marriage is a gift from God and God wants our marriage to be supremely happy when Jesus spoke about marriage once he was talking to some people who asked him about divorce you know I mean in western countries you know divorce is very common they say it's almost 50% of marriages end in divorce and the sad thing is even in Christian churches the average is the same fifty percent which proves that these fellows haven't got real Christianity how can real Christianity make our marriages as hopeless as the marriages in the world is something wrong there something fundamentally wrong so the in Matthew 19 we read the Pharisees came to Jesus and asked him is it right to divorce your wife and Jesus said no not at all I mean he said in the Old Testament Moses permitted it because you fellows your hearts were so hard if you didn't divorce your wife you'd have hammered her and killed her so God said okay please divorce her but that's not God's original plan Jesus said if you go back to the beginning which is Genesis 1 and 2 that's what Jesus said there in the beginning that was not God's will you read that in the first few verses of Matthew 19 he says in the beginning God made them female and female and he wanted them to be one and there's a beautiful expression he uses here in verse 5 the two shall become one if you want a description of marriage here is it in the words of Jesus himself two shall become one now that's God's standard you know I recently they were celebrating the 50th anniversary of climbing Mount Everest I was a young boy in Delhi in school when I read one day in the papers that these fellows Hillary and Tenzing had climbed Mount Everest since 1953 I was just about 13 years old and it you know that was a mountain that had challenged so many people so many people had tried and died and people had tried to go up and they never reach the top and came back and one day they succeeded and once they succeeded I mean in the last 50 years so many people there are people who are paraplegics who can't walk got artificial limbs or climb Mount Everest it's amazing from all types of angles from difficult angles and all they climbed it the because there was a tremendous passion in man to conquer this mountain and that's what drove them even though so many people tried didn't succeed it was the same with the conquest of space you know I mean people thought it was all science fiction in our school days when people talked about going to the moon but I remember the day my first son was born we read in the papers the man had landed on the moon you never forget that day and it was amazing thing that that which has looked like science fiction which you'd gone back to people in 1960 they even in 1969 years before they landed on it said was difficult but they did it you know man's Drive took him to the moon it's been like that they tried they fail and tried they feel that God finally the landed on the moon it's been the same in many areas and I want to say to you they did all of that without they didn't pray to God or ask God's help or anything it was just human intelligence and science and technology we did all that now here we're trying to climb another mountain that's a marriage we're to have to become one think of that as a Mount Everest think of that as a space challenge and here's something where God is promised you can do it and here's something but God says I'll help you how many of you really want to climb this mountain how many of you really want to reach the top even if it takes time to get there say Lord our merits been pretty unhappy till now it's not being what it should be you know I find that the first step in any of our dealings with God whether it relates to our personal life or to our married life the first step is to acknowledge our failure if you can acknowledge failure that's a very very big step and those of you who are married sitting here you know that that is one of the most difficult things for a man or a woman to do to say that was my mistake I'm sorry do you know those six words that was my mistake I'm sorry are some of the most difficult words to produce from our mouth you try it if you don't believe me some of the most difficult words for us to say are these words that was my mistake you know like we teach children baa baa black sheep we got to teach parents say it with me that was my mistake I am sorry you'll forget it by tomorrow you'll forget it very difficult rhyme to learn but it can change your life to acknowledge that was my mistake I'm sorry you who are married for some years you know how difficult it is something has happened and you always think it's the other person but that didn't begin with you it began with Adam and Eve it's very interesting that this wonderful marriage over with God certified very good a couple of days later it was a different story it was not good at all it is very bad very good two days later very bad on the sixth day very good two days later on the eighth day very bad how did it happen because they disobeyed the makers instructions just like we have all disobeyed the makers instructions in our married life the end result is where we are today and then what I was coming to was that when God came to Adam and asked him if I were to paraphrase his words did you disobey my instructions and you know it's like you called the computer chap and he says listen did you follow the instructions booklet you say well no my wife came and did something here and I don't know what happened that's exactly what Adam said my wife she doesn't know anything he just came and messed up this whole thing and that's why we are in the mess today Adam said that actually to God as if he could fool God as if he could fool God he said my wife so this business of putting the blame on others started way back with our first parents and that's one of the first lessons we want to learn in marriage to finish with that old filthy habit which we have all acquired from Adam of putting the blame on the other person that's why I said like baa baa black sheep we got to learn that what you remember the rhyme that was my mistake I am sorry learning repeat again that was my mistake I'm sorry even single people you try saying it it's pretty tough stuff for single people as well but you learn it when you're single it'll be much easier to sing it when you're married I tell you it's a good rhyme let's change your life very important to learn these six words saw the toughest words to learn if you learn it say it from your heart you change your life Adam couldn't say all he had to say was God when God said him he said that was my mistake I'm sorry he didn't say and think of the number of times can you think of some of you are married for so many years when something went wrong in your relationship how many of you said that you know why I say it's a difficult rhyme to learn immediately we begin to justify ourselves and even if 90% of the fault is with us we pick on that 10% which the other person did and say but you did this and you know in the deep of your depth of your heart that was only 10% but you pick on that because you don't want to take the plane now I want to say to you my dear friends brothers and sisters that if you are unwilling to get rid of that habit I can't predict that you're going to have a happy marriage and I want to say it's not such a humiliating thing to say that was my mistake I'm sorry because I want to tell you something there's only one person not on earth but in the universe who never makes a mistake you know who that is that's God so if you're in the same category well then you you know what you think you are I have no problem saying that was my mistake because when I say that all I'm saying is fellas I'm not God got it that's all I'm saying is that a very humiliating thing supposing I put those same that same rhyme in other words easier words let's start with easier words can you say I am NOT God that's easy isn't it very easy that's an easy rhyme to pick up I am NOT God but this is the same thing second verse first words I'm not God second verse that was my mistake I'm sorry it's the same thing why can't you sing the second verse because all you're saying when you say that is I'm not God God's the only one who doesn't make mistakes yeah I know I've been married thirty years but I'm mistake I'm sorry I mean don't say it in that tone say it no tone is very important you know you can say oh I never state I'm sorry well nobody believed you if you say in that and see it like you sing the hymns you know I made a mistake I'm sorry you got and you mean it but that's so important to acknowledge failure do you know that Jesus first did a miracle at a wedding isn't that wonderful to read that in the Bible that the first thing you read in the Bible in Genesis 1 is a wedding and then you come to the New Testament in the first miracle that Jesus does is that a wedding that's pretty good that means God must be very very interested in marriages that the Old Testament and the New Testament begin with a wedding and the first miracle that Jesus did was in a wedding ceremony where they ran out of wine that was in those days I mean today the equivalent of your chicken biryani in today's wedding is the wine there in those days I imagine if your chicken biryani ran short and all the fellas are standing in the queue and nothing left can you imagine how embarrassed you'll feel oh that's exactly how they felt they ran out of wine thank God Jesus was there see that wine in the New Testament is a picture of a very happy life the Old Testament that there's a verse which says wine to make the heart of man glad so fullness of wine is a picture of a very happy marriage and when the wine runs out it's a picture of a marriage where all that joy has gone the marriage is still there we don't divorce in India because not because we are happier but because society frowns on it and it's difficult for a a woman to go and find a job on her own and find a house on her own and if she goes back to her parents in many cases the parents say hey we can't feed another mouth go back to your husband Justin get along so just because there are no divorces here doesn't mean our marriages are any happier than in the Western countries no the joy has gone out of the marriage and what I wanted to point out is that when that happened you know how the problem was solved we said Jesus all the problem but when did he do it he did it when somebody came to him and said they have no wine the wine has run out you see the same principle we failed the joy has gone out of our married life it was the acknowledgement of failure instead of pretending oh yo-yo is plenty of Briony is just around the corner is coming just hang on it's not there it's all finished to acknowledge failure you know as Christian as human beings we are all basically good actors with very good actors we want to act happy come to church we act holy and a lot of people when they become Christians they become better actors than they were before because now they've got to act super holy and better than everybody else and they become top class hypocrites it was like that in Jesus time too you know the worst people in Jesus time were the people who went to church every Saturday those days the synagogue they were the worst people of all that the Jesus was in a running battle with them all the time because they were the biggest humbugs and hypocrites and what was the problem with them they were unwilling to acknowledge their failure that's all and those there were other terrible people in those days in Jesus time there was a woman caught in adultery Jesus at all I forgive you because what did she have she acknowledged her need Lord I have no wine I'm an adulterous woman oh you acknowledge your need okay you're forgiven and the other side standing on the design with all these holy so-called holy people who would not acknowledge their need and Jesus always finding these two groups of people a group of religious hypocrites who would not acknowledge their failures in their need would not say that was my mistake I'm sorry and then on the other side there were these people whom the religious people looked down upon in fact there was a prostitute among that crowd her name was Mary Magdalene I think she was a prostitute anyway she had seven demons he was a terrible one and Jesus cast out the demons forgave her sin and she became a great saint Saint Mary Magdalene imagine had God what Jesus can do with people how did she manage that because she did not pretend to be a holy person she said well Lord I'm just a sinful woman that's all I am I'm demon-possessed too if you can help me help me that's what they did in that first marriage they came and said we have no wine no problem he solved it so I want to say to you my dear brothers and sisters when you fail acknowledge it and the Lord will solve your problem God can solve every problem I am telling you the truth I've been a Christian for 44 years and I've experienced the truth of this verse of this fact that God can solve every problem I'm not putting a sales pitch here for something I'm trying to sell I'm telling you the truth it's absolutely true there aren't going to be problems but God can solve them in fact all the miracles that Jesus did was just to highlight this fact that God can solve every problem you know when they were going in a boat and the waves the storm came and the waves came into their boat and Jesus still that storm they said don't you care that we're going to perish he said of course I care you're not going to perish don't worry never a miracle he did you know we think nowadays of the difficulty of trying to make both ends meet whether I income can meet our needs they came across such situation in Jesus time too they had five loaves and two fish one boy and they had ten thousand people out there five thousand men plus a number of women and children how can you feed ten thousand people with five loaves and two fish jesus said give it to me he could solve that problem too can Jesus help us to make ends meet with our limited income yes that's the message in that parable you don't have to get into debt he didn't send his disciples say go and find some businessman who can lend you some money and go and find some shops that are open and borrow borrow and then spend the next 50 years repaying your debt he didn't tell them all that he said I can help you meet your need without your getting into debt ever but you've got to acknowledge your need first there's no food Lord we just got this much my income is this much five loaves and two fish my needs are ten thousand people you say impossible not with God that's the message of all the Gospels when you read the Gospels read it like that that's the message God has for your marriage but always the first step you know I I like those instances where a blind man would come to Jesus and he said what do you want me to do for you even a stupid fellow like me knows what he wants why does he seem to ask him if I were there I said all I can tell you he wants his eyes open why in the world does Jesus have to ask that question you know why because he even wanted that blind guy to acknowledge his knee that's the reason it's not because Jesus didn't know of course he knew the Bible says Jesus even knew what was going on in people's hearts when they were thinking in you leave alone when you see a blind man coming to you everybody knows what he has come for but why did he ask him what do you want me to do for you and the fellow had to open his mouth and say I'm blind I want my eyes open and the Lord comes to you today and say what do you want me to do for you and you say Lord the wine has run out it's a storm here in my home can you still it I'm not sure acknowledge your need and believe that he's Almighty you know that's why I started with Genesis 1 God's standard this is the way your computer is supposed to run but it's running at such a slow speed something is wrong it's not the way it's supposed to run it's not the way your marriage should be have faith that God will help you to come to the top of that mountain rest who come help you to reach that standard which standard not the standard of a good Christian home sometimes you know you see a very happy couple and you begin to think oh I wish I could our marriage could be like that don't aim for these little Hills okay aim for Mount Everest that little happy marriage that you see is a little hill you can go higher than that but you must have feet imagine these fellows who went to the moon believe that they could do it you think any guy would get into that space rocket if he had some doubt whether this going to reach the moon or not he was absolutely sure we're gonna go to the moon and not only that he told us how many we're gonna come back otherwise I doubt any of them you think anybody would take a one-way trip to the moon however exciting it may be and however much your photos may be flashed on the earth I'm sure nobody wants a one-way trip to the moon they were absolutely sure they'd come back they had faith they got in can't you believe that Almighty God and all that he said in his word can change your marriage however much it may be on the rocks to like a ship that's hit the rocks and broken that he can fix it all up and get you sailing on the sea of life once again it's not a ship really it's a small boat actually you know the old fisherman in Europe had a little prayer that they used to pray when they used to go out in their little boats in the early days when they didn't have outboard motors and dissolved sails and years ago their prayer was oh god the sea is so great our boats are so small please help us that is the prayer of those fishermen oh god the Seas so great our boats are so small please help us you know the world is something like that such a huge world with so many problems it's like a vast ocean with the future that's unknown a vast ocean and you and your wife and your children are in a small little boat trying to go in this ocean you don't know where the storm is going to come from your only help is God I thought of that you know in relation to the world in which we live now there's a song we sing because he lives I can face tomorrow and one verse of that song says how good to hold a little baby in your hand and to see the joy it brings into your heart and then to think I'm expanding on the words of that song that this baby has to grow up in a world full of bombs and missiles and terrorists and traffic accidents and evil I mean you'll be dead and gone and your child is growing up in this world it goes on to say how good to know that you can commit your child to Jesus and because he lives we can face tomorrow and because he lives my child can face tomorrow even after I'm dead and gone see it's wonderful that's the hope we have God can solve every problem but you got to have faith because he lives because Jesus Christ has conquered death because I see in God's Word that God's plan for me is to have a happy marriage he can do it for me so we've seen acknowledging our need as number one and then we saw faint faith means you got to believe like these fellows believe they could counter Mount Everest and these folks believe that they could go to the moon and come back now we have a much stronger faith than that because you know that some of those folks who went up to space even recently never came back that was that indian lady among them never came back they thought they'd come back but technology failed when that happened even once before when the Challenger spacecraft went up some years ago never came back they hardly took off before they all got burnt up but here we have a promise in scripture where Almighty God Himself is promised to support us acknowledge your need believe that it is God's will to make your life extremely happy and I want to show you a verse in 1 Peter which speaks about married couples and there's a phrase there which I want to take out from there in the first letter of Peter chapter 3 and verse 7 it's addressed to husbands but you can also apply to wives the phrase in verse 7 is in the middle of that verse live in an understanding way with your partner live in an understanding way with your partner husbands with your wives that's what's mentioned here but we could reverse that wives live in an understanding way with your husbands take that as a little motto when you go away from here live in an understanding way and you know that understanding about any subject takes time you can teach yourself I taught myself to use computers but it took time to understand you know children go to school and they take years to understand chemistry or physics or biology I mean child takes a long time to do learn long division I mean you folks can do division easily now you know your multiplication table but think of your children how they are struggling with something that you already know they have to understand it and it's the same way in married life now think if your child never goes to school there's no interest in understanding multiplication division you think it'll ever understand multiplication division no not at all you got to make an effort there's absolutely nothing in life that you can learn without making an effort if some of you are doing well in your professions today many of you are college graduates did you get your degree without any effort and after you got your degree what about your profession what you're engaged in now did you learn that without any effort you got a new job and you tried your best to learn your profession even if you're in business you have to learn the secrets of business so in everything that's understanding but when it comes to marriage I find that very few husbands seeks to understand their wives they say hey we got married that's it or very few wives seek to understand their husbands and no wonder there are problems think of your child said oh I got admission into school that's it now I know addition subtraction division you don't know anything my little boy you just got an admission in school you don't know you don't know a thing you like to work hard if you want to learn addition subtraction multiplication division square root calculus all the way you got to learn you got to apply your mind why is it in every area we're willing to understand we know it takes time to understand and we make an effort to understand why is it many of you in your jobs have worked so hard to understand your profession and that's why you're doing so well and that's why you're making money think if you didn't care to understand your profession where would you be today you'd be a failure in life now do you understand the reason for failure in marriage live in an understanding way seek to understand the Bible says seek to understand say lord please help me to understand my wife and your wives say please lord has helped me to understand my husband please help me to understand the laws of marriage you didn't need to you couldn't learn that when you were single I mean single it's all theory see basically you need to understand that from the time Adam and Eve sinned and the very first thing Adam did was blame his wife why was it the very first thing he did I mean who gave him this bright idea to blame his wife I'm sure it was the devil when God came to her and said did you do it as Satan whispered Missy hey put the blame on your wife he did it and the wife put the blame on the serpent so from that day a poison has entered into our system which is the cause of all the problems in our married life this poison and Jesus came to remove that poison he came to deliver us from it not only to forgive our past failure I want to tell you the good news is that even if you made a mess of your married life you need two things one you need forgiveness from God for all the wrong things you did in your past and you need to forgive one another also husband and wife the second thing is I mean forgiveness alone doesn't solve the problem it's like your child putting a child wets the bed all children do when they are born but don't you hope that one day your child will stop wetting the bed and dirtying the diapers napkins sure every parent is looking forward to the day when you can remove the diapers I want to tell you God's also looking forward to the day when he can remove the diapers from his children were always dirtying it every day which scene when are we going to grow up of course when the child wets the bed you can change the sheets wets it again you can change the sheets and wets it again you can change the sheets it's now 15 years old still wetting the bed you change the sheets when's it going to grow up you've been married 15 years and you yell at each other and dirty your napkins okay change it when you're going to grow up it's the same question God can help you in the early years of married life the fact that we have disagreements rubs and explosions is probably as normal as a child wedding a bit what I want to tell you that just like you don't expect your child to keep on wetting that bed forever your marriage not supposed to continue like that forever you got to learn to stop wetting your bed but in your marriage bed with fights and quarrels and God can help you but we got to recognize this poison inside which makes us selfish the gist the root cause of all sin is selfishness let me paint a picture here of a tree get the picture of this tree this tree is called sin okay and the roots you dig up and examine the roots the roots are officious selfishness from those roots come this massive tree that through the years becomes a solid tree full of sin that all the bad fruit it brings out of bad words and bad actions and bad thoughts and bad attitudes and all types of things now how do you get rid of it I told you first you got to say I'm sorry I made a mistake but that doesn't solve the problem because that only deals with what has already been done but are you going to keep on doing it forever see we have two problems one is the past and one is the future the past we have already made so many mistakes and we need forgiveness but we also need help for the future that we're not going to wet the bed again we're not going to keep on doing this thing forever and ever and for that the Bible says Jesus came to lay the axe to the root you read that Matthew chapter 3 Jesus came to lay the axe to the root in the Old Testament Moses came with a pair of scissors and just cut off all the bad fruit looks a nice tree now without all the bad fruit that's what the Lord did ok don't commit murder don't commit adultery and don't steal don't bear false witness and cut off all the fruit but the root is still there and again it comes out and you got to keep going around with your scissors all the time and they went around with those scissors called the law for 1,500 years and it never solved the problem because the root was still there and then John the Baptist came in Matthew chapter 3 and he said now Jesus has come with it not a scissors he's come with an axe and he's going to lay the axe to the root of self-centered selfishness in your life and then you'll find this problem of bad fruit is solved do you know that that's what Jesus has come to do he's come to deal with this self-centered selfish life now when you were single you could handle this self-centered life because I mean you know how it is when you're single person supposing you're working your fellowshipping with somebody and that fellow is a problem you can leave him and go and find somebody else and then if everybody there's you had a tough day in the world everybody's causing problem for you you can go back to your room at night and at last you're alone but now you're married and when you go back to your room at night there's somebody else there you can't escape from and she's also a selfish person just like you and here are two selfish people now trying to live together in the same home and can you imagine the problems unless the Lord comes and does something about this and if you can acknowledge this and say Lord all the problems have come out of my selfish thinking only about my convenience my feelings the way I was brought up in my home the way we've always done it in our home is like this and I don't want to yield to another person who's always done it another way and who's always brought up in their home another way then comes the conflicts and spending money we spend our time so many things I want to say to you my dear brothers and sisters married couples the most important thing in your home please remember this is that both of you are happy and glad in Jesus Christ the most important thing in your home is not to give other people an impression but that it must be real the most important thing is not just every room in your house must be neat and you can have good food those are not the most important things the most important thing is happiness between husband and wife I remember a story that I've often quoted of a very god-fearing couple that I knew dead and gone now very elderly couple where the husband was a very orderly type of man his whole you know how some people are everything is orderly everything is arranged neatly and the tables are always need and they always put their shoes in the proper place and they hang their clothes in the proper place and there are a few people in the world like that believe it or not there are a few people like that who are like that and then the wife was exactly the opposite but here and there and it's really exciting when two such people get married you know a lot of opportunity for taking up the cross and denying oneself so this brother it's one particular thing I remember I heard he would go to the kitchen to help his wife wash up you know one of those things which me Indian husbands don't do but they they do that in the West they help their wives to wash up in the kitchen and put the plates and spoons and all in the right place and being this disorderly type of wife her kitchen was a mess day plates flow of spoons for it's all sort of haphazard and here's this orderly husband doing the washing up one day when his wife was not well and he sees all this and look at the wisdom of this man that's what I want you to see the wisdom of this man he cleans up all the plates and forks and knives and all and puts it in the same disorderly way that it was there the chaotic completely contrary to his nature chaotic you know why I'll tell you the reason then you'll see the wisdom of this man he said if I arrange this kitchen and make it perfect my wife will come and say boy I can never do it like this like my husband does and she'll get more discouraged I don't want my wife to be discouraged I don't carry the kitchen as chaos I want a happy marriage he was a wise man what does it matter if in your kitchen the plates are here and the forts are there and all is a big mess if you have a happy marriage far better than somebody who's got everything lined up neatly and they are fighting with each other that was wisdom that he didn't want to do something that would make his wife feel small compared to him that is living in an understanding way to think how will she feel if I do it like this as I said we don't start like that we usually start with expressing our opinion pretty openly and giving people not up just a piece of our mind but whole mind we give to people and she gives our whole mind to us that's how we start then as we grow the pieces become smaller and smaller and if they will come when we begin to think a little more of what the other person is thinking and okay I want a happy marriage I don't want a neat and tidy home if you can have a happy marriage and the neat and tidy home praise the Lord have it but if you have a choice between the two my dear brothers and sisters don't be fools choose a happy marriage what's a neat and tidy home for to show other people what's a happy marriage for it's the best thing in the world the computer is working perfectly now it's working faster than what even the company said it to work think of that think that you can have a marriage like that if you're willing to just say Lord like my child studies chemistry physics biology helped me also to understand this thing called marriage to let Jesus be Lord of my life see that's why it's very important let me conclude with this you know this book as I told you the first Old Testament begins with the marriage New Testament begins the marriage there's no book in the world if you want a marriage guidance book here it is you follow the rules in this book you'll have a perfect marriage you'll reach the top of Mount Everest you'll reach the moon you'll reach heaven and not only the moon and not only that heaven will come down into your home you'll have two heavens one here on earth and one in one you went after you died that's the message of the gospel that if you obey these words you can your home can be like a little foretaste of heaven and if you don't obey it it'll be a foretaste of hell then you have two hell's one now and one later on so you can have a choice I think a lot of people have two hell's or two have very few people have two heavens but you can have it if you follow the rules and say Lord I want to I mean will some of you follow some of these two three simple principles I said first of all acknowledge your need learn that Ryan remember it or you forgotten it already it was my mistake I'm sorry and believe faith very important you know in the New Testament Jesus said believe that God wants you to have a very good married life to work at it like these fellows climb Mount Everest like the fellas reach the moon you're gonna reach the top of this wonderful life where God can look at your mare and say very good and then this last thing I said in order to help you reach there say lord help me to understand help me to understand my wife helped me to understand my husband please give me the power of your Holy Spirit please forgive my sins let Jesus come and be Lord not only of your life but of your home you know let this book let the Word of God guide you and your wife you and your husband in the way you run your home and if some of you maybe your husbands are not interested in it or your wives are not interested in everybody you work at it and show that it works you know there's nothing like demonstration we don't want to be preachers I say if it doesn't work don't preach it the trouble with a lot of Christianity is a lot of people are preaching something and people have turned off from it because they say we look at these fellows lives it doesn't work I mean supposing I were selling this oil is guaranteed to restore hair on your head guaranteed how many of you will buy it tell me I say guaranteed even if I say money back and everything else you will not say Brissac I don't really feel happy you need say something nice to me you won't tell me the real reason but you know the real reason if thing hasn't worked in this fellas life he doesn't have it on his own hand but obviously doesn't work you know that's how a lot of people are preaching the gospel today oh this gospel take it oh it'll change you heaven will come and glory will fill your life and all these fantastic things and they come and see how you live at home and thank you well we're not really excited about this thank you they say something nice and go away you know we need to be ashamed of ourselves if you are a Christian I say Lord I don't want to proclaim something I don't want to put a sales pitch to something that doesn't work I want to say to you my brother sister I've been married 35 years it works I'm not selling some hair restoring oil I'm telling you something that really works you can have a happy marriage you can have a marriage where you never raise your voice that your wife even once in 365 days and 366 days in a leap year just by the way sure that's a guarantee is because God's Word says that but you got to work at it and when you fail you've got to say Lord that was my fault I'm sorry and tell your wife that's my fault I'm sorry forgive me do it my brothers and sisters and let's demonstrate to this country that Jesus Christ is all-powerful he can give us happy marriages make him Lord of your life how will you know what this book says these manufacturer's instructions you'll read your computer instructions your washing machine instructions more than you read the most important instructions do you value your washing machine more than your marriage do you value some wretched computer more than your marriage let's be wise from today and say Lord Jesus help me he can solve every problem acknowledge your need come to him and faith let's bow our heads in prayer well a heads about in prayer remember the first step is to acknowledge your need to God first tell him you have no wine tell him the wine has run out maybe you never had wine right from day one of your marriage tell him he understands say Lord I want to work on my marriage I want you Lord Jesus to come into our home and be Lord of our home and of our life I'm sorry if I having brought a bad name to Jesus Christ through in my past years but it's going to be different from today forgive me my sins cleanse me in your blood and Lord give me the power of your Holy Spirit in my life so that I can be free from this selfishness that has destroyed my marriage help me to see the way you walked of denying yourself and your life was so happy help me to walk that way to choose that way to find happiness in my life and peace in my home and to bring up my children in an atmosphere of peace Lord please help me and lord help me to I believe that you'll help me I believe that we can reach the top of this mountain and you will give me grace for it and helped me to understand my partner better to take time to study to understand how she's different from me or he's different from me and to pair with her to bear with him and to accept my partner the way you made her made him that together we can manifest a a beautiful married life for your glory so we can bless other people I believe that many of you if not all of you are playing praying that prayer sincerely right now I want to say to you that Jesus hears you and he'll help you he will believe that believe that that little prayer you prayed in your part to God now he's heard you Heavenly Father help me pray Jesus name on it

Channel: SermonIndex.net

Views: 44,535

Rating: 4.8174906 out of 5

Keywords: Zac Poonen, Revival, Character Of God, Free Sermons, Video Sermons, Jesus Christ, What Is The Gospel, SermonIndex, What Is The Truth

Id: VtdBZ2FLby8

Length: 62min 7sec (3727 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 02 2012