A New Slapping God

I mean this with no exaggeration this is the best slap fighting match that has ever been held I swear on a stack of Bibles and a box of hentai you will not be disappointed it is objectively the most intense most brutal most extreme slapping that has ever been conducted in the entire history of professional slapping this Clash of the Titans in battle the big meet was held by the slap fight championship league which is an American professional slapping circuit and it's absolutely [ __ ] nuts you might not believe in God but you're about to believe in a higher power the power of slaps the Mayan calendar was thought to predict doomsday in 2012 but the minds were actually predicting with that calendar was this apocalyptic slapping match [Applause] [Music] [Applause] admittedly the match gets off to a bit of a shaky start here just kind of a piddly wet fart thrown for the first lap completely misses the target but it's just growing pains getting accustomed to the big stage here acclimated to the environment this is crazy Hawaiian versus hillbilly hippy and I swear to god this match is gonna go down in history this is going to be on the same level of Godzilla versus aura like I said a rough start for both competitors in their first slap here also my heart breaks for that man when his voice cracked that is always the worst when you're trying to do like some big macho man [ __ ] but your voice cracks and you sound like that 14 year old boy on Xbox Live it's just it's rough I hate when that [ __ ] happens so I feel for him there and it's only up from here it just gets so [ __ ] good [Music] [Music] and that clobbering right there sets the tone for the rest of the match there is no sportsmanship here so in slap fight championship circuit you're supposed to do a three count two warm-ups followed by the actual slap like in golf where do two practice swings and then you hit the ball for real that's what you do in this slap fighting championship league here but crazy Hawaiian said [ __ ] that I'm gonna surprise him on one so he [ __ ] cranks the cannon back and he says hey you familiar with the periodic table what do you know about the element of surprise the [ __ ] blast his ass and then he wobbles and shakes and rocks him a little bit and yeah he got penalized for it rightfully so because the rules do state it needs to be on three but I gotta say I loved the aggression there and the surprise attack that's like some pockets and [ __ ] right in his [ __ ] face it's incredible yes sir then a huge controversy breaks out going over the rules and about it being a foul hillbilly a hippie sister charges the stage and anger and it's a whole song and dance here also I'd like to say I kind of like the artificial smoke they have going on here I'm pretty sure they have like a fog machine to give it a more cinematic feel it actually kind of works though it does kind of make it look like they're doing this on a porn set but even still it adds to the theatrics [Applause] [Music] a fire was lit deep in the colon of hillbilly hippy and he comes out swinging for the fences and get some immediate revenge on his opponent shaking him giving him a bit of a concussion and from here the floodgates have opened into just a slugfest Pandora's box was Unleashed and the only thing left inside were some [ __ ] fat slaps [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] after a rapid-fire round it ends with hillbilly hippie getting rattled once again and the wear and tear really starts to set in here from this point forward it becomes an uphill battle for hillbilly hippy it gets it gets pretty [ __ ] hard to watch to be honest but uh I gotta respect the grind from both athletes here because this one this one goes the distance and it is [ __ ] incredible it is absolutely in its nuts there is no regard for basic human safety or decency it's [ __ ] crazy [Applause] hillbilly hippie gets shaken again it's like he's on an ice skating rink without ice skates he just could not keep his balance he's just [ __ ] drunk his [ __ ] out here every time he gets slapped it looks like his tenacity is so unbelievably respectable though he's like Bozo the Clown that punching bag where you slap it and it just bounces right back up but with hillbilly hippy there's a lot more aching and pain involved in that getting back up but he still gets back up baby he's like that anime character that doesn't know when to give up his superpower is never giving up and believing in friendship and slapping [Applause] [Music] [Applause] a knock down a knock out right there I thought the match was gonna be called just you know it crazy Hawaiian winds you just killed your opponent but his [ __ ] pit crew hillbilly hippies pit crew all of his friends weekend at Bernie's his ass up they get his corpse and they [ __ ] stand it up give the judge the thumbs up and hillbilly hippie gets right back into the Thunderdome he'll barely hit me doesn't even know who he is or where he is anymore after that slap that [ __ ] just slapped the memory of fifth grade right out of his head and he still continues the fight it's [ __ ] incredible here you think like a medical team would step in and be like Jesus Christ no if he goes further he's going to die but no it doesn't happen they just keep [ __ ] going baby in fact we're only just getting started [Applause] [Music] hillbilly hippies body has completely evolved to not feel pain anymore he's still in this trance-like state after being slapped into the spirit realm into the [ __ ] Shadow Realm from the crazy Hawaiian knockout blow that now he just doesn't feel anything anymore [Applause] [Music] [Applause] it's like watching those Scott Stirling viral videos you know the one where the soccer goalie blocking every shot with his head and the volleyball blocking at all this hadn't he's just getting [ __ ] brutalized that's what happened that's what's happening - hillbilly hippie here in reality he just keeps taking every [ __ ] slap to the face and getting annihilated and knocked out but his [ __ ] team keeps putting him back in the crucible just standing him up just to keep making him take the assault it's wild the match goes so [ __ ] long that their camera ran out of battery so now they have the phone camera here look at hillbilly hippies face he's starting to look like Harvey Dent in the Dark Knight it's crazy he's starting to look like two-face out here his left side of his face is damn near unrecognizable it's like he better he's been attacked by bees [Applause] after 20 brutal excruciating rounds hillbilly hippie finally throws in the towel waives the white flag and says enough is enough you win 20 rounds over an hour's worth of back-and-forth slaps at least nine or 10 knockouts not only just hillbilly hippie he delivered some unto crazy Hawaiian as well but my [ __ ] god but what an incredible match between these two gladiators here I just needed to share this one with all of you because this is by far probably the best slapping tournament we have ever seen this was just pure adrenaline pumping action from start to finish that's a yeah

Channel: penguinz0

Views: 3,333,605

Rating: 4.9050364 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: Ofm2QhMkhmk

Length: 9min 4sec (544 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 27 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Wiltron]

Someone needs to teach that boy how to talk..

Ben Stein had more inflection in his voice..

anyways, here's the slapfight without the Neutronian talking over every 6 seconds with nonsense..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQ7kMio0I_E

[u/lloydrage-]

Too much talking. Delete