A Message For Anyone Who Hates Themselves - Alex Hormozi

self-love is holding yourself to a higher standard than anyone else does that's really interesting to me I think it's believing in the 85 year old version of you who's exactly who you want to be and then ruthlessly looking at the discrepancy between the the pittance of a human that you are now compared to that man or that woman and then step by step breaking down the many differences and starting on the first one and pulling the thread I love the idea that in a true true self-love a lot of the time is wrapped in acceptance and a degree of belonging I reject this entirely I just wanna I just want to throw it out there that doesn't surprise me the idea that self-love is holding yourself to a higher standard than anyone else does you believing in you more than anybody else does is such a first principle's way of looking at self-love Okay so I'm supposed to love myself I'm supposed to support myself and be my biggest fan but I don't have the most belief in me so I'm supposed to have self-love but I cap my own potential I have so many thoughts so right off the bat even the concept of fan was something that I I if I was if I was talking to 2013 2012 Alex I would have rejected that notion not like the the concept of even being a fan of myself was so foreign to me it wouldn't been real to me and so I'll tell you with that Alex internalized which was that I didn't need to deserve success but I could still have it if I did the things that created success and so it felt like a cheat code where I was like I can actually be a shitty person and horrible and suck at everything but if I still work out and I still eat this way I can still look this way even though I don't deserve it and that was like the first it actually felt like I was like it for anybody who hates themselves you can hear me um that was like my first big shade my first Solace my first foothold that I started getting on success was that I didn't need to deserve it I could still have it anyways and that was like very empowering for me the other thing that you said about acceptance so there's this big movement around self-acceptance and I want to say that I wholeheartedly reject it I you accept outcomes and you accept circumstances you accept the fact that you were dealt whatever hand you were dealt you accept that you're five eight you accept that you're black you accept that you're a woman that's accepting you're trying to rebel against that is you trying to fight the universe and the universe is going to win every time but in terms of you framing acceptance as saying that I am comfortable with who I am and I cannot be better and I must be satisfied with that is the biggest embodiment a failure that I can imagine is that it's almost it's almost it's almost egotistical to say that there's a difference between saying I am good enough and I am good so you could say I am good enough for my current state based on the work that I've put into it but I could be better and so like you can accept that the work that you have done has created the outcome that you've created but you do not need to accept that the outcome that you've created is the end-all be-all and the last outcome that you need to need to have and so for me like the only version of acceptance that I have is that I accept that the version of myself that I want to be is is so far from who I am that I have this massive discrepancy that I have to overcome and then just breaking that down one step at a time and thinking I don't I don't deserve to be that man but I can still do the things that can create it and it also means that I have to go through the circumstances that that would create that man which means that if I have unbelievable Big Dreams and big goals then I have to go through hard times it's like hate the hard times are a requisite for success and so if you're going through hard times right now it means that you're on the path to success and it's not that you're on the wrong path it's the feeling of being on the right path and one of the things that I talk with with the CEOs in our portfolio company and I'm I'm going to bring it back one of our companies they were struggling with growth big company and he was like I honestly the issue that I have right now is like I I don't know how many locations I can open every month he's like based on the cash flow that's coming in and out and I was like this is kind of like the Morpheus free frame and I was like I need you to freeze this moment I was like the feeling that you have right now is that you are missing a finance function is that they didn't have a good Finance leader and you're like why is this relative to what we're talking about I'll bring it back which is that if it's the first time you're going through it you can't recognize the science because you don't have anything to compare it to and so hopefully listening to this podcast and listening to other people not just you know not me and Chris but like other people who are even even more successful whatever they can at least tell you what it tastes like they can tell you what the room looks like they can tell you what the temperature feels like they can tell you what it feels like in their body so that when you are going through it you can say okay I haven't been here before but this sounds like Albuquerque this sounds like a missing finance and that's why having like and if you're in the early on stages and and you're going through the like you're going You're consuming the free content is less stuff it's like use this because the most valuable thing you can get is the context of what the experience feels like when you're going through it so someone can describe to you their experience so that you can relate it to your present and be like okay I'm on the right path yeah it's the feeling of loneliness and uncertainty hang on what if this what if this is a sign that I'm not supposed to be here what if this is a sign that I'm doing it wrong right and relinquishing that the if there was a big meta indicator that you're doing the right thing doing what everyone isn't doing is already probably the biggest the single biggest indicator that you're doing the right thing like it's it's the if if I could wish nothing else on my child whenever I choose to have them in the future is that they have high agency which is that they are they make decisions independent from the opinions of other people and when we hear words like authentic and original and things like that it's because the person starts at square one and says well what do I want and then they start building from there I had a conversation with one of my one of my teammates um who runs our my LinkedIn and he said you know Alex it's easy for you it's always always a really great start great way to trigger really good please tell me more what do you go on he said it's it's easy for you Alex to create this personal brand he's like you have so many interesting things about you he's like you dress a certain way you act a certain way and he said it's different than everyone else does right and I said I don't think that's true I think that everyone has a personal brand that is unique and different but everyone doesn't look that way because they conform to whatever what they think everyone else wants them to look like and so the fact that they are boring and they resent the fact that they're boring is because they are living out reflections of what what they think everyone else wants them to do and so all you have to do is start at Square zero and be like what do I want because I realized after I got out of gym launch that I mean I addressed a certain way for too much because I was the head of an entire community of gyms and it made sense for me to dress that way because I needed to I needed to look that part right but when I was at Ground Zero and I was like okay what do I want and I thought about it for a long time and I was like well what would 85 year old me wear I was like 85 year old me would wear probably the most functional thing he could wear because he doesn't care what his shoes look like he doesn't care what his shirt looks like he just wants to be comfortable and so I just started trying all the things that I could possibly imagine for shoes shorts hats whatever to find the thing that I was like you know what this is the most comfortable and this allows me to do the most things in the most rooms without changing and so people then are like man that's so unique but it was actually just saying if I were to or if everyone was gone from existence what would I do what would my work be right how would I dress who would I date that's a real one who would I date if no one else told me what they thought about it maybe someone different than you're dating right now and if the person that you would want to date isn't the person you're dating right now and the person that you'd want to date would never date you then maybe rather than dating these mediocre mollies or mediocre mats you take the period of time you go on the untrodden path you have people reject you and say oh you're not coming out tonight you're going to the gym again right oh I can't eat with us right she's on it she's on a diet again how long I'm gonna stick with this one right because the thing is is that the stick to it and muscle itself is something that you work on because if you start a diet and you failed and you started working out and you failed if you just make it longer every time before you fail you're still making progress and you're still doing something that everyone else isn't doing yeah and that is the biggest meta indicator that you possibly can is if because everyone sucks like so many people are mediocre like half of the United States is in debt they don't even have a DOT like they their their negative net worth and so like just saying different than that like the bar isn't High we'll get back to talking to Alex in one minute but first I need to tell 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Channel: Chris Williamson

Views: 96,820

Keywords: modern wisdom, podcast, chris williamson, Chris Williamson modern wisdom, modern wisdom podcast, chriswillx, Chris Williamson Modern Wisdom Podcast, Alex Hormozi, Personal Growth, Williamson and Hormozi Conversation, Building Self-Confidence, Self-Reflection, Empowering Mindset, Chris and Alex Hormozi Insights, Hormozi on Self-Worth, Alex Hormozi's Perspectives, Embracing Self-Care, Empowering Strategies, Hormozi's Tips for Self Love, Empowering Self-Image, Self-Love Techniques

Id: Oed_B3sIP4c

Length: 10min 28sec (628 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 15 2023