How To Make People Sorry For Doubting You | Alex Hormozi

success is the only Revenge as you expand they shrink into irrelevance as you get louder no one can hear them you don't beat them you cast a shadow so big no one can see them to begin with when people copy they copy the wrong stuff because they don't know why it worked to begin with and when it breaks they don't know how to fix it because they didn't build it so don't sweat it copycats will always be behind good [ __ ] but success is the only Revenge it is such a lovely there's that um let me tell you the story behind it damn right yeah so I was 15 years old so this is really early in my life still jacked it's still always jacked permajact and I uh this sounds so lame so I had this teacher so I'm freshman in high school and I might have been 14 whatever the ages and I'm walking through the hallway and this this teacher is like an admin of some kind walks out of his office and he's like he's like son and I was like I'm like eater's in trouble what am I gonna do he's like you work out and I was like no he's like why not I was like I don't know how he's like I'll show you he's like you got the jeans and so that teacher Mr Gibbons um ended up working out with me every day in high school and showed me how to work out and he probably saw on some level that I was some angsty teenager that felt angry about whatever and I during our workout sessions would be like this guy said this to me like he you know you know or like this oh whatever and I was like man I'm gonna come back at our 10-year reunion and I was like I'm gonna show him I was like he's gonna be working for me like blah blah right and he's like no he's not and I was like what do you mean I was like let me just have my moment he's like no he's not he's like and you're not going to do that not if I have anything to say about it when you come back for that 10-year reunion and I was like what do you mean he's like because if you come back at a 10-year reunion and say hey John like everything I have look at me now he's like the guy's gonna laugh and be like you did all of this to try and prove me wrong man I feel sorry for you and when he said that when he actually played out what my like Revenge fantasy was in real life I realized it looked it looks stupid yeah I looked like the beta in the [ __ ] situation right and so he was like the only thing that you can do is win so big that all of them constantly compare themselves to you and then you'll forget they exist and he's and that's when he said he said success is the only Revenge he's like it's not the best revenge he's like it's the only one there's no other Revenge because everything else is petty everything else does show that you were thinking about these people all day long which means they win by default he's like all you can do is think about your goal and winning he's like and when you win that's when you become so big that they shrink into irrelevance you cast a shadow that no one even can see them behind you this is the Nuance I think on on the previous point when we were talking about the toxicity of that fuel long term yeah you can see me light up yeah well I think that when you think about um the activation energy of using the things that you don't like well you have to be careful that you're using them and that they're not using you still and a lot of the time I get this and in my mod juvenile moments I I see myself do this where I'll know that there's a game that somebody else that I don't like cares about yeah and I'll imagine myself playing that game to beat them so that I can stick it to them right purely for the reason of sticking it to them let's say that there's someone that really cares about being in shape and I'm not in as good shape as I have been in the past and I know that with muscle memory if you give me 18 months and a good amount of testosterone like the thing that they care about I would be able to make them feel really bad about right okay so I would hijack my own Direction yeah purely to try and prove somebody else wrong in a desperate and somehow believe that that's me taking control of my life are you kidding me I'm allowing them to ventriloquize me yeah through pain that they didn't even mean to give me yeah the woman in the black dress uh the black pill equivalent right well like now it's like not even a distraction from your main goal it's like I'm gonna make a new goal just to wrong this person and then somehow make make up the story that I'm in control of my life when I'm I'm really just acting in complete reaction to this person and so in so doing in beating them at their own game they've already won by default yep because they got me to change the game I was playing forget about who won it's like dude you were over there and now you're over here I see this with a lot of people I I think that it contributes to a lot more of why and how people adopt societal Norms the the resentment that they have it's it's not just other people want this thing therefore I mimatically want to do this thing too it's I know that other people will respect me and that my resentment will feel Justified and manifest if I win at it and that's really compelling that's like a motivational spit roasting coming in from both ends and it's it's really really powerful and you need to be careful I mean I think you know one of the really early blessings and I'll be on it like this is where I think I was fortunate right like I I realized when I was about 28 right um that I had been trying really hard to beat I mean you'll notice a common theme with a lot of my stories but I have one Central person that I was trying to prove for a very long time which was my father um and we're on good terms by the way because I always get that question but uh this was after I left and he disapproved of my whole thing and for five years we didn't talk very much and so he calls me up um to he says hey you're going to want to sit down for this and I'm like okay what are you pregnant you know um and so he says I'm sorry and and I was like for what and he was like for everything right now mind you like this is a middle eastern father born in Iran to a middle to a middle eastern father there who was even more legit like when where my father was born women weren't allowed to drive cars cars came with drivers with them when you bought them the driver came with the car we're like he was born in a very different world like fathers don't apologize to Sons it just it was it just wasn't that way and I have a little bit more a little bit more awareness than I did then and I can see that now but for me I was like now you apologize you know what I mean um and so rather than take it for the Olive Branch that it was uh I said I didn't care about your opinion five years ago when I left I was like I don't care now and he was like well we'll see how long your success lasts and so what could have been a really nice exchange ended up becoming pretty pretty ugly but the the main point there was that I wanted to in the beginning like make as much as my father then it was making more than my father and then it was make more than my father had ever made in his entire life and once I had achieved that I realized that as much as like it sounds terrible to say this but like I was trying to beat him at his gain and and this is pretty alive in a lot of a lot of Asian culture same thing Mickey money is a big you know like when my dad would introduce somebody be like this is so-and-so he makes this much a year like it was just really clear like this is how much status someone has and so like it was really deep for me um but it was only when I realized that I had won at his game that I realized I never even asked the question of like what game am I trying to win and I don't know how many people are actually trying to win at a game that they didn't even set the rules up for so many when they're in it and that's why I say like I think I was fortunate that I you know I hit a really tough goal because my dad was is a successful man um relatively early on um but that that for that exchange and then think like and then reflecting black and feeling terrible about myself from like saying what I said and then I was like I'm I did everything that I've done to this point to beat him beat my father the man who actually raised me who tried to make me the best man I can and when I think when I really start thinking about it I'm like I like who I am he raised me so doesn't that mean that he might have been the perfect father and then that really messes me and so yeah so go ahead well it's just it's hard to think that the people you used to have contempt for or distaste or hatred or whatever shaped you in a way that you couldn't have been and I often think about how the things I'm most proud of in myself are the light side of something that I was so embarrassed about that's so ashamed about um you know being an outcast as a kid meant that uh I love or I'm capable of being on my own Way Beyond how anybody else is yeah so far beyond it I can work on my own in solitude for an endless amount of time I can outwork anybody in solitude why because I spent almost all of my time between the ages of 6 and 16 in my bedroom listening to audio tapes right listening to audiobooks and like throwing like a tennis ball against the wall or like playing with my like [ __ ] Mighty Mouse from Mars or whatever they were called what was it called Biker Mice from Mars that was it um and that was what I did yeah so but I I all of that discomfort and all of the challenges that I went through there are the thing one of the things that I'm so proud of myself for now okay so what if I look back and I said well all of the the um The Bullying that I went through and the challenges of feeling alone and being on the outside of social groups meant that I developed such attenuation and attention and focus and an ability to distill down what's happening socially which is why I became one of the best club promoters in the UK for a decade and a half right because for all of my school life I'd been obsessing over how Alex wears his tie maybe that's why he has friends and I don't have friends or the particular brand of shoes that he's wearing or the like he carries his bag on that shoulder and I call him carry mine on this shoulder because I couldn't deconstruct why I didn't have friends and everybody else did right okay so looking back would I have rather had the friends right and had the brother or sister and not developed this skill I can't split test life so I don't know right but my life's ended up pretty good right and I'm happy with it so I need to not only look back at that stuff as something not to hate but something to genuinely be thankful for and that is frankly something I'm still working through what yeah it goes It goes back to the first thing which is like the most traumatic events that happen in our life you know they happen for us not to us but when you expand the time Horizon like those things and to be fair there are people who do have really crappy things happen to them and then it destroys them and then that's it and then they're just done and that's all it is not everyone has like a moderate amount of childhood bullying and an only child with like parents that care about them or whatever like because you were a child coping with the world with the coping skills of a child I'm still largely that as an adult Infantry and so um but I think that I mean the keep the at least for me you know my key takeaway from both both of these kind of stories is more that all of the all of the the negative things that happen on the micro have the opportunity if doubled down on to be huge wins in the macro and sometimes in ways that just a micro win would never have the ability to be doubled down on and become a a capital w in in the macro we'll get back to talking to Alex in one minute but first I need to tell you about the number one e-commerce platform Shopify when I was a nightclub promoter in the UK I started an online apparel brand with no experience no coding ability no marketing background no inventory management and after a ton of research I decided on Shopify Shopify is the Commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide you've probably already heard of it in fact a lot of your favorite Brands still use Shopify including gymshark one of the biggest sports apparel brands on the planet Shopify is the only tool you need to start run and grow your online business without the struggle what I loved about Shopify was that as we added in new lines and different verticals it grew with the business it required zero experience every single time there was a problem I was able to sort it myself that's how simple it is there is a one dollar per month trial period that you can sign up for right now with the link in the description or by going to shopify.com Modern wisdom or lowercase that's shopify.com modernwisdom to take your business to the next level today oh hey thanks for tuning in if you enjoyed that clip then press here for the full three hour podcast with Alex go on press it foreign

Channel: Chris Williamson

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Keywords: modern wisdom, podcast, chris williamson, Chris Williamson modern wisdom, modern wisdom podcast, chriswillx, Chris Williamson Modern Wisdom Podcast, alex hormozi, williamson hormozi, hormozi williamson, How To Make People Regret Ever Doubting You, Hormozi modern wisdom, modern wisdom hormozi, hormozi kobe, hormozi michael jordan

Id: GVNqJOuNz_s

Length: 13min 25sec (805 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 18 2023