A "How-To" Guide for Confession

hello out there hello hello and welcome to another one of my twinkly Wednesday scopes my name is father Anthony Meza and thank you all so much for tuning in today today as the subject indicated I was speaking about the topic of confession everyone's favorite topic every priests favorite topic for sure the subject of confession I'll talk about how I view confession how I think we should all view confession and also talk about kind of how I do confession myself as I wrote in my blog this morning is that me and my family just confessed we did our family can our confession just two days ago and I just got to tell you like I wrote in the blog I just feel so good after confession that's why I just wanted everyone else to have that feeling so today I'm going to talk about confession answer all your questions about the subject but before I do that please let me know who is tuning in and where you're tuning in from so I know who I'm speaking to naveen G from Alberta welcome nice to see you again yo dude from Houston welcome nice to see you as well Colin through Louisiana sounds like a new name welcome comma this your first scope with us welcome happy to have you McKey from Maryland or Mikey I'm sorry Stephanie s TSA hammer dude Maryland a mad new york clara scotland sedan E and North Carolina sir FL Maryland Mikael sweet Kamisha from London Mona from Manitoba Canada met he from Maryland Erin from Indianapolis Ted and family would see a Ted mark from Mississauga welcome so wheat from Minnesota nice to have all of you guys if the subject of confession is you know one that someone else might be in need of hearing then there's an easy way you can share this scope with your friends you can just swipe right a Christ across the screen and you can share with all your social networks I always appreciate when you do that I mean I even saw you on their high Maskell finding the true cross love from some country who's black I didn't recognize welcome it's nice to have all you guys thank you to all those who are sharing it on Twitter on Facebook on periscope I really appreciate it very much we're talking today about the subject of can fashion is one of my favorite subjects now usually when I do this scope every Wednesday I open up by taking a few questions and just answering whatever random questions I got a lot of questions today specifically about the topic of confession so because of that I'm gonna hold off on those questions until the end okay so those who asked questions on my blog this morning and I said I'm gonna answer your question I will absolutely answer your question but I'm gonna put it off till the end just because a lot of the questions that you asked would be covered by what I want to share about the subject so instead of kind of going back and forth they let me kind of do it sequentially so we're talking about confession everyone loves confession right no confession is the one subject that if I asked you to give a sermon about why it's important and why we need confession every single person could talk about why that if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins we know those verses in the Bible we know confess your trespasses to one another we know about confession but we don't do it that much okay and this is something that I see is a not just a my church or a I feel like this is like a state of the church these days you know I don't know if someone lives in a remote area not many options okay hold that thought there and I'll get you by the end this is like a state of the church I feel like the number one most important habit then you can implement in your life for spiritual growth is this habit of confession there's a direct correlation between your spiritual growth and your frequency in confession I truly believe that that's not to say that just confessing will help you grow spiritually but that is to say that you are not going to be able to grow spiritually consistently I believe until you are consistent and regular in the practice of confession okay so many times people come to me and they say you know I don't want I don't know why I need to confess and you know what's the point of confession and all the questions that we all ask all the time because we don't want to do it and then I ask simple question I say any time you go to confession how do you feel when you come out and most people okay 99% of the people tell me they feel great afterward they say you know before I was struggling with guilt and then I felt afterwards I felt so great felt so relieved I feel forgiven I felt the shame is gone so then I asked them if that's how you feel every time coming out of confession then why is it that we're so reluctant or so reluctant to go into it more often all right and that's a question that I'm thrown out each one of us okay because I truly believe that the key to a life of freedom life of victory life of joy life of peace life of versus a life of shame and guilt and feeling bad all the time the difference between those two is the one who's regular in confession I believe that I hope that you give me a few minutes here to make a case ok let's try to convince you first thing let me say the reason that I'm such a believer in confession is not because I receive so many confessions okay so I know as a priest you think every priest like we have to push confession because we get like some kind of commission all right if we get more people to confess I don't get a commission okay if there's any other priests out there who do please like to let me know how to sign up all right and where I can get it I don't know about any Commission what I do know is that when I personally confess which again I just did two days ago I know how I feel before and after and I know how for me personally I know it's scary Gary s 3 to 8 but give me a give me a few minutes here to try to explain to you why you should still do it even though it's scary because the goal of life is not to avoid things that are hard and scary that was the case no one would go to medical school I know would do attempt to do anything great so the goal is not to avoid scary things all right the goal is to do great things all right again I'm not a believer in confession because I have to be I'm a believer because how does what it does for me personally every time I go into confession I come back out oh thank you so much is very kind of you okay every time I go into confession I come back out feeling like a million bucks feeling like this is the greatest thing in the whole wide world like this past Monday what we do as a family okay I'm my wife and my two kids what we do is we schedule we go confession together not that we confess at the same time but we schedule one appointment and my father confession is very kind and very gracious they'll schedule one appointment then they'll hear all four all four of our confessions so you know usually it's like mom daughter Michael and me whatever word I usually I'm at the tail-end Marion's usually at the front end whatever so we all got one two three four and then afterward you know what we do because to teach the kids the spiritual principle what happens in heaven when one sinner repents says in Luke chapter 15 that there is joy in heaven there is celebration with the Angels so when do we celebrate two so real Monday we went out to Dave & Buster's afterwards okay which is like this like chuck-e-cheese for adults kind of a thing we went on celebrate went out had pizza all right then we went out and celebrating we always connect confession with some kind of fun activity afterwards so I got my kids looking forward to confession and I look forward to confession not because of the fun activity okay teach and brainwash about brainwash children okay it's teach children okay you're right on teach brainwash not the right word but teach them okay you're right Gary we're trying to teach them the truth okay and the truth is do you have to teach it in ways that they can understand the truth is when you confess there's a celebration that's the truth as Gary was saying confession equals celebration okay so because they may not be able to comprehend the heavenly celebration all right we give them an earthly celebration to mimic that one so yeah good point there Gary appreciate it so we went on Monday okay and we went and confessed and I'm telling you afterwards it came back and said anyone who doesn't take part in this confession thing like you're not hurting me or not hurt anyone else all you do is end up hurting yourself because you're living in shame and guilt for no reason so view or someone who's out there who's saying you know what I struggle with guilt I struggle feeling shame I struggle feeling like you know like I mean I don't experience God then my advice to you again it doesn't benefit me okay in fact it's the opposite okay my life is worse off the more people confess I mean she things I've stayed later don't Saturday nights my advice to you is start with confession start by just a simple look and say hey you know what am i doing this confession thing the right way what is the right way all right we know from the New Testament from the Gospels that that when Christ came he preached a message of repentance repent for the kingdom is at hand Saint John the Baptist was the forerunner preached the exact same message repent for the kingdom is at hand all right and it is clear so there's your New Testament okay the importance of repentance clear why does repent have to equal confession this is the question that some people ask can't i just repent why do I have to confess all right let's answer from three perspectives historical psychological spiritual historical perspective clear from the practices practices of the early church and the first centuries the people who heard the words of Christ repent for the kingdom ISM and heard the words have gone the Baptist who heard the words of James would confessor trespass to another it's clear those guys started practicing confession not exactly the way we do okay the practice has evolved but the idea of confession as a sign of repentance or as a seal of repentance is clear from the earliest days and anyone who argues otherwise is probably biased and not looking at it from an objective perspective because which I we usually try to make an argument to match what we want we don't want to confess so we just say it's not and doesn't say in the Bible confess to a priest true it doesn't say that but I mean that's a it's an elementary-school explanation of that okay or argument because it's clear that the people who wrote the New Testament and we see their practices from the first centuries they practice some form of vocal to another person in confession again it's evolved but it's clear that it was there from the earliest days they practice Eucharist they practice confession they practice baptism from the earliest earliest earliest days okay how come Protestants don't practice confession I can't answer why they don't okay I can tell you why they should okay so I think everyone should but again it's not just Protestants don't practice confession a lot of Orthodox believe in confession but don't practice it same with Catholics so historical always been their number two psychological there is a healing that takes place when we confess with our mouth that will never take place when we just confess in our hearts and I truly believe that and someone will come and say no I know this friend or whatever okay you may find one exception otherwise but I can find you ninety-nine who are living in guilt and shame and not feeling and forgiving and I bet you this is the reason why because the psychological component of it is very very clear we as human beings we're flesh and blood we're tangible people there's something about a touch a word a breath there's something about that that hearing that you know what your sins are forgiven you okay your sins are absolved there's something about hearing it making it tangible that makes it real for us don't believe me go talk to someone who grew up without confession okay who grew up let's say in a non Orthodox Church and then all of a sudden heard about confession it was like no confession this is wrong or whatever and I just try it and then they come and try it and then they come let me say you know what this is the best thing ever and I had one time some guy asked me say wait you do this for free I was like what do you mean for free he's like in my old church if they if they if I were to do this my pastor would charge me money for this and again I'm like I didn't know that was an option you know but there's something to we take it for granted if we grew up in it but someone who's outside okay who has got his whole life not knowing you know I repented but am i forgiven how do I know I'm forgiven and their scripture says I'm forgiven but that same scripture applies for you know what like like all these other people you don't I mean who do all these bad things and they think they're forgiven I don't know if they're forgiven and how do I know but to get that touch to get that hand and someone who says you know what you are forgiven I guarantee you the person who is the most cynical towards God okay and the person who was the most like angry at God okay and goes and puts on Twitter all these bad things and you know they think they're like you're cute but those kind of people I'm telling you they get to confession and you put the hand on them and you say your sins are forgiven you and I'm telling you see them change 180 degrees I seen it a thousand times that's why people sometimes people ask me why you let people say funny comments on here that stuff doesn't bother me okay because I feel bad for that person because I feel bad for that person because I want that person to experience what I have experienced so maybe you leave them on the periscope maybe they'll come around okay historical psychological spiritual is the most important aspect of it okay those two are important but the last one is the most important which is what is a sacrament okay what is a sacrament a sacrament is something that takes the act of Christ Christ is eternal and because Christ is eternal someone's asking something about crystalline Christology I'm sorry I missed that comment but Christ is eternal and because Christ is eternal everything he does is eternal Christ died on a cross 2,000 years ago what does it have to do with me how am i my sin benefited from Christ 2,000 years ago saying your sins are forgiven you okay what's the connection well the answer the connection between me and the life of Christ is the sacraments the sacraments are the intersection I'll tell you how okay there's a scholarly Bishop from our church his name is Bishop Benjamin okay of a city called El Mundo failure okay El Nino failure somewhere in Egypt and he came okay I met him one time he was speaking it to a bunch of priests and a clergy meeting I probably had four or five six years ago something like that and he he was talking about confession and something he said I wrote it down because it has been so powerful this transformed the way that I think about life he said confession is where the Holy Spirit takes the action of our Lord Jesus Christ on the cross and applies it to the sin of the individual so what it's saying is this is on the cross Jesus said Father forgive them for they know not what they do that is an act that Christ did for all how do I take that make it personal for me well the answer is the sacrament of confession because we're the sacrament does is takes the general of Christ and makes it personal for me the salvation that he came to give to all makes it personal for me so I maybe you know whatever sin that I may have committed general act of Christ to my lie general act of Christ to my lust general act of Christ to my saying bad things are talking bad about this person who might disbelieve for whatever it may be it takes it makes it personal for me and it applies it to me how does that happen well that's why the word sacrament all right the great word for sacrament is mystery okay the right word for sacrament is mystery mystery means something that you can see and you know what happened but you don't know how it happened all right so the mystery is something hidden okay we don't know how it happened we know what so we know okay like for example in communion we know hello Catarina from Copenhagen good to have you on here we know that in Eucharist we know that bread becomes body how we don't know what we know it's a mystery we know that baptism waters not just water it's washing of sins not just washing of skin how we know I'm sorry what we know how we don't know it's a mystery in confession we know that a priest touches your hands we know that you say a few words all right you put your pathetic little confession in front of God right there we don't know how we don't know how but we know what we don't know how but somehow your sins at that moment in time or washed away medical wait a minute you're saying I come to my priest I say a few words about whatever it may be and all of a sudden everything everything is washed away absolutely how I don't know how to miss you but that's how well Christ did on the cross it was personal for me at the sacrament of confession okay I wrote this on my blog this morning I said the mystery of confession is more than meets the eye the eye sees a man sitting with a priest struggling to reveal his sins but the reality is that the man is not sitting before priest but before the throne of the Most High God he's not just recounting his sins he's washing his soul he is not just listening to advice from a mere man but rather the immortal Spirit of God didn't know that did you see that's why how you look at confession is so important Daniel okay on my blog asked the following question all right Daniel said what would you say to someone who's confessing regularly but not acting on the advice of their father of confession what are some practical tips to help with this problem well what I would say to you Daniel - your friend is you're looking at confession the wrong way you missed what I just said there about confession excuse me which is confession is a divine human Act all right and when you look at confession as just counseling as just advice as just opinion then you know what Jesus said it this way you remember the woman in Matthew chapter 9 okay actually just read this story from Luke this morning but in the lady who was the bleeding woman who was bleeding for 12 years and she said to herself you know what if I could just touch his robe okay I believe that if I touch his robe something will happen was the robe magic Oh was there any power in that rope no where was the power the power was in her faith in the Rope not in the robe but her faith in the Rope and same in confession that's why Jesus said to her according to your faith let it be to you she touched him he said power went out for me they said no Jesus every one touches you but you know what no one touched me with the same faith that she did my question to you into your friend Daniel when you go to confession are you touching that priest are you listening to that priest as you as if that priest is speaking by the immortal Spirit of God or just advice and if it's just advice that's all you're gonna get is just advice and you know what according to your faith let it be to you is what's going to happen so I would say to you Daniel is we need to change how we view confession and view it as like I said as as something which is more than just talking to a priest so just confessing at home during quiet time isn't enough to be forgiven I'm not going to say what is enough for forgiving or not forgiving okay because forgiveness is not my responsibility it's God but what I will say is confessing just at home meaning not confessing to a priest is not how we were taught by the church and not has been passed down from the beginning okay of of Christianity like even the New Testament time before confession was formalized okay James said James chapter 5 verse 16 confess your trespasses to one another so clearly right there became the argument of 90% of Christianity which is that I just confessed between me and God scripturally is not enough it says confess your trespasses to one another that you might be healed and so James sets ok and actually that ties I'm going to skip to one of the questions right now Theo asked this on my blog said if we repent why must we confess I truly feel bad about my sins and remember God's grace and mercy isn't that enough no okay again I don't wanna say no it's not enough from God's perspective because I'm not gone I can't say that but I can say psychologically this is one of the biggest problems that we have okay is that people who feel bad about their sins and never get past feel bad okay and they continue to live and mired in those sins so psychologically know historically like I said and like I said you're missing out on the sacramental aspect of it you can feel bad about your sins all you want but there's a sacramental touching it's like saying okay to the same person I would say okay assuming that they're Orthodox isn't enough to just say in my room and pray and have communion with God is it enough to just take a lady that I love and say you know what let's become one flesh no okay we need a physical act a tangible act to solidify the inside spiritual truth and our problem is some people will argue someone said earlier how come Protestants don't don't do confession I'll tell you this sometimes the reason they don't do confession is because we the Orthodox give confession of bad image because we are saying how come you guys don't do the outside you just do the inside well the problem is because oftentimes we taught them that we do the outside without the inside so some people on our end would be that you know what we just confess without ever repenting and that's wrong but it's equally wrong just to repent without confessing okay I'm not saying wrong but I won't say incomplete okay so what I want to say okay where was I hear about confession to answer that question answer that question how to prepare for confession okay I was saying according to your faith let it be to you what you put in the based on term is what you get out my theory with confession is you have to prepare by repentance confession is part of repentance repentance is not part of confession okay it is but I'm saying confession is much bigger I'm sorry repentance as much bigger so think of repentance as a life that I live and confession as something that I do on regular intervals alright confettis is something that I live I need to repent on a daily basis and confession is something I do on a I am usually recommend to people about every two to three months okay that's generally how I advise people you can do it more frequent but I'm saying usually when it's more okay it's okay for like a season but it's not sustainable and you know it might lead to like a dependency on the priests are usually you know I'd like to say around two months okay is kind of like the minimum there but again it's allowed more and I three months is like a good time okay between two or three months but again the principle that I've said over and over and over more frequent shorter is better than less frequent longer confessions came the analogy I always give it's like brushing your teeth every day for two minutes or having root canal once a year stick with the brushing your teeth on a regular basis okay okay well let me get some of these questions can you write down your confessions before meeting your spiritual father maybe read it out sure absolutely is nothing wrong with that that's fine as long as it's heartfelt okay it doesn't matter why even considers skipping confession sure if that was a question or maybe a response to someone else Kay asked I feel ashamed my father confession sees me confessed because he knows who I am why can't we have those private room things that the Catholics have when they confess what I'll say to you Kay is this I it's above my pay grade as to why okay we can't have those things but I will say this okay that there is a benefit to that shame okay there's a benefit to it there's an accountability there okay two perspectives for me personally it's good for me to be a little bit you know what embarrassed about my sin because if I'm not embarrassed about my sin if I'm embarrassed in front of the man like I should be embarrassed in front of God so the man is kind of representing God to me so I'm not saying that we should be ashamed and stay away from confession but I'm saying that accountability is a good thing okay that accountability is a good thing from that perspective the other thing I'll tell you is this is that we are relational creatures we are creatures created by God to live in relationship with one another and we sin against one another so you know what there's a communal component to it I was saying the beginning how the confessions evolved over time you know wonder how they used to be they used to be you confessed in front of all the congregation not just a front of one person so you confessed in front of everyone and everyone knew you're saying all right because the church were saying is that when like let's say I sinned 90 percent of sins are against people so let's say I said I lie okay so that lie is against a person so the idea was that if I hurt a person okay I hurt the entire body so I have to confess to the entire body okay because by lying to this person I disservice to him and his family like to our church family so there's a communal component now we do it just the priest okay is like representing representing the church family but that's why there's a face-to-face component okay and I know it's not as good but hey we're not ever seen now it's good like sometimes makes it uncomfortable but believe me it's a good thing and I'll tell you this as a priest how long a confession take I like I said I don't think you should take any more in five to seven minutes anything more than that usually is I don't add value how much detailed to go into that's a big question for your father of confession because I kind of like less detail all right I like more kind of give me the overall snapshot give me the overall picture and then I'll drill down where I want to drill down that's why I'm saying five to seven minutes if you sit there and you go into detail on every single little thing I'll be here all day and I will be there for an hour okay and if the if every confession was an hour like no one would confess okay so I like like I said five minutes overview of where you're at and then the priest can can can where he feels necessary you can say what do you mean by this or tell me about that but let him dictate that okay back to what I was saying earlier confession your father of confession will look at you believe me a father of confession me there are many times that I look at someone okay after they come and confess to me it's never worse it's always better you know why because then you see that person as a sick child not sick in a bad way I don't mean that in a rude way but you said do you know what like I feel bad for this person and you see that when someone exposes their vulnerability no priest okay is gonna use that to hurt them or to make them feel better to judge them differently no way it's the exact opposite is now I defend them like I'll defend everyone but someone who confesses to me a child of confession I'll defend them to the death because that's a it's none of your business okay I know they're doing their best and I defend them so everyone leave them alone because that relationship is there okay Zee asks can a person have confessed for only some sins because he or she knows the other sins are very likely to be committed over and over again due to life circumstances or is it better not to confess at all until a person comes to the decision not to walk down that path again Z I don't how to answer your question okay again a lot of people say this that you know should I confess that if I'm gonna do it again well you shouldn't do it again okay like there's a third option there so it's not just should I confess it or not confess it there's I should confession I should not do it again if I know that eating this food is going to you know make my heart explode okay but I still like the food so should I confess it right you should stop eating the food okay and that that's kind of the hope so I would say you go to confession and you'll be honest with your father of confession and a true father will never judge you for that actually we respect that very much when someone comes says you know what I'm doing this wrong I know I shouldn't be but you know what I think I want to do it again and be honest with it okay and then you know he can pray for you and and it's better than not confessing but it's better to to at least do our best about - okay last question they got from right here Ivan Jie asked should the father confession and spiritual father be the same person I don't have any of them permanently can I walk to the church and confess to any priest is it okay to confess to another priest of Oriental sister churches so is it okay to confess to other priests from other oriental sister churches yes absolutely can I walk to the church and confess to any priest yes you can confess to any priest however with that said there is something to be said for the consistency of the same father of confession it doesn't need to be but there's benefit to it think of it like a a doctor a primary care physician I can go to any doctor I want but is there benefit to going to the same one who knows my history and kind of understands me yeah there's benefit to it doesn't need to be okay and if I am in an emergency situation go to another doctor or that doctor is sick and go to that doctor sure but it's it's it's preferable let me say it that way for that sake okay that's all the questions I got and it's pretty much lunchtime for me around here so I'll just leave you all with this final wayde's a good question right there should we reveal our sins to our spouse which can mean god only that's a good question actually me and Maryanne are gonna talk about this in two weeks when when man's gonna come up on stage with me at the well and talk about we're gonna talk about some marriage stuff together we're actually gonna talk about this point and we're gonna say is that for sure you were not required to share with your spouse and no one has a right to say hey what did you say in confession today no one has that right to you and God however true intimacy in marriage true intimacy in marriage is better the more vulnerable we are so I never will ever say to my wife what did you say in confession but I may say to her hey you know what I'm struggling with this and I confess this and I volunteer it but she'll never ask me what you say and I'll never ask her hey what you say but if we choose to voluntarily share and be vulnerable that's a good thing okay first John chapter 1 verse 89 here's your quote verse 2 leave with if we say that we have no sin we deceive ourselves if we say we have no sin we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us if we confess our sins he's faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness ok I love confession so much I've benefited more than any anything else in the world benefits me as confession so I just want everyone to have that as well okay thank you all very much have a great rest of the week and I will see you all next week

Channel: Fr. Anthony Messeh

Views: 3,258

Rating: 5 out of 5

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Id: AjlZZETyZk8

Length: 30min 0sec (1800 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 27 2017