How to Control Your Thoughts

good afternoon everyone good afternoon and welcome welcome my name is father Anthony Meza and welcome to my weekly Wednesday periscope I missed you all last week I was all for Thanksgiving and I hope y'all everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving we're back this week I'm back and hopefully you're back as well and this week's subject I should new - how are you this week's subject is one that I'm sure that the title probably jumped out at a lot of people and I'm sure it's going to attract quite a few people who are interested in this subject which is how to control your thoughts that's what we're going to be talking about here today and as I wrote my blog post this morning I'm father Anthony comm I don't know if I can actually give you a four-step solution how to control your thoughts but I will give you my strategy on how you should kind of deal with it in some ways that you can go in the right direction okay based on my experience so we'll start that just a minute but go ahead and tell me who's online here hi Rosie from Maryland welcome hi from Bayonne good to have you again hello Marin Mick Angela from Canada welcome Joe from Jersey welcome Arabic I can't read your handwriting but I'm sure you have a nice name hi Marianne from Sydney Dahlia from Canada hi Rosaleen hi beast gamer David Toronto Liz NYC Marion New Jersey Greg from Cleveland Maria Bayonne Kathy Pennsylvania - another one from Sydney all right Sydney Switzerland that's not too bad either San Diego Geneva Montreal welcome hey Colin my goodness I am honored that so many of y'all are coming in from Europe and Australia and things like that welcome in London welcome thank you for that congratulations to the Redskins go ahead and do me a favor in Egypt as well go and do me a favor if you know someone who might benefit from the scope go ahead and wipe to the right and click on the share button Russia man that's another good one Denver see now Denver which is a big deal normally but you got you're coming with Russia and Holland and Switzerland all those places New Jersey welcome welcome welcome go ahead and share this scope if you don't mind with all your friends who might benefit from it and I would appreciate that greatly okay thank you very much for sharing Marian 97 nimmy 1963 gave away your age there I think pedestrian ID 8 st. Petersburg Russia oh my goodness this is a honor for me to be scoping with people all the way on the other side of the world so thank you all for tuning I appreciate it because I know you're tuning in not to hear me say hello to everybody but to get to the content I'm going to jump right in topic today I wrote about in my blog is how to control your thoughts and why this topic as clearly by the number of people who are jumping on here can indicate is this is a topic that a lot of people struggle with ok one of the things that I want you to realize is that I as a priest people come me all the time all the time with different issues or different struggles or different weaknesses and I'm telling you 90% of the men that night might be a lot but I want to tell you at least 50% of the time people walk away hearing me give them advice about how to control their thoughts because truly at the bottom of a lot of our problems in life is our negative way of thinking ok and I want to what I truly want to say but don't be offended by it is that were corrupted and distorted way of thinking ok because the way that we were kind of created to think about life and about things has been corrupted by our sin and by our choices and just by the fall of mankind this is such an important topic ok you don't realize what your thought patterns are doing in your life and how they are affecting you in negative ways ok I want to say like kind of two facts about the importance of thoughts before I jump into kind of strategy and how to deal with it first thing I want to say is that your thoughts I would like in your thoughts like your mind to the headquarters of your life if you imagine that your life is kind of like a corporation with kind of different branches different wherever it may be your thoughts or your headquarters everything is coming on right here so this area this area has a corruption okay it has a distortion the rest of my life is for sure going to be dysfunctional as well okay Rick Warren once said that he put it so eloquently he said your thoughts a thought leads to a feeling a feeling leads to an action and action leads to a habit a habits ultimately are what determine our lifestyle okay let me say that again starts with a thought you get a thought for example I get a thought that says you know what I don't have any friends okay that's just a thought and that thought by itself doesn't seem like a big deal but it will lead to a feeling and that feeling is I'm sad I'm lonely I have nobody and that feeling might lead me to an action and that action may be to pull away from people because I feel like they don't really want to hang out with me anyway then that action if I continue to do that action this Friday night next Friday night the following Friday night that action becomes a habit and if I put together enough kind of habits that are isolated my end up but into my life I'm on my deathbed you say he lived an isolated life why it all starts from our thoughts if I can change my thoughts I can change my life that's what st. Paul said in Romans 12:2 be transformed be changed completely by the renewing of your mind okay if I can change this if I can change that thought that nobody likes me or no one's to hang out with me I can change that too people do like me and and and I do have lots of friends if I can change that thought I can change my entire life believe me okay you may not see so but trust me on this one stick with me okay your thoughts are your headquarter of your life change your thoughts change your life second thing I want to say okay this is the part that's that's damaging okay that's damaging if you accept what I just said on the first one that your thoughts or your headquarters your life the reality the truth okay truth or reality is not as important as your perception of reality what's true isn't as important as what you think is true you say hey wait a minute it sounds like the opposite okay what's true is what's true and I say it what's true is what's true but what's more important what'll impact you more influence yours not what is true but what you believe to be true I cannot tell you why I give an example example is very simple if I think that my wife doesn't love me I think she doesn't love me okay something my my son loves sure and she loves okay I know she loves me but in my mind she doesn't love me and then you know what she's away on a business trip right now so she may come home and she may say you know what like I may say oh you know how was your trip sweetheart you know I missed you and she may be like on the phone or something like that or engaged in something different okay so you know what I knew she didn't love me I knew she didn't love me and I will deal with her in such a way okay I seen some political conversation going on okay I'm not really sure but let's cut out the politic to just kind of stick with the thoughts and I'll try to go into politics at the end okay just to kind of keep us all focused if not I might have to block it if it's too political okay just I don't know anything about Russian politics I don't think about American politics I'm try to figure out the politics in my own house okay so stay with them if I think that she doesn't love me then my behavior will say okay you know what I want to go tell her that but you know I can't because you know so my the reality isn't as important as my perception of reality again think of another example single people okay if I think okay that's it I'm sorry what could I do that sorry sorry sorry I don't want to block nobody but I don't want to be a distraction about politics and stuff like that okay two things we don't talk about on the scope is religion in politics okay we don't talk about those here on the scope okay just joking okay um I think I stopped okay I'm not arrived I am a priest but thank you I appreciate that okay um a single person if I think what do we do when we were back in in middle school 7th grade okay does she like me too unlike me she liked me done like if I think she likes me I'll go talk to her if I don't think she likes me I'll stay away from her the reality of whether she likes me or doesn't like me isn't as important as my perception of whether she likes me doesn't like me okay Lenny Lenny that applicable to you in a different way all right if you think you're no good you probably won't accomplish much okay if I can convince a child I'd say you're not smart you're worthless you never accomplished anything the reality but his talents and skill isn't as important as the perception these have no value okay and same with the opposite okay someone who may not be as talented but if he really believes that he can succeed in this job or in this career or in this athletic thing whatever it may be and he really puts in the time because he knows like that belief okay that perception is more important than the reality in some situations obviously not all the time but someone who's four feet tall can't say no I believe I can dunk a basketball like that saying like that but I'm trying to say this that what you believe your thoughts will control and impact your life in ways that you will never even realize on the outside okay so thank you Mary hem 19 how do you go about changing our thoughts okay that was just long introduction and now I want to get into what I my strategy okay and where did I pull this from is again this is from a lot of I just found myself I just say this stuff over and over and over to people whether it's in sacrament of confession or just in spiritual guidance like I find myself saying this over over said I should put this on a blog and just kind of throw out my two cents I don't think I'm an expert in this okay especially when it comes to like the intellectual stuff I'm not a psychologist or I can pretend to be one but I just know what I see okay and what I see is that our biggest mistake okay I'll give you the broad message and then I kind of break down the strategy is we try to remove the bad thoughts as opposed to replace the bad thoughts okay don't try to remove try to replace don't try to remove try to replace what I mean by that is when you have a negative thought pattern okay I put my blog I put some examples of insecurities okay nobody likes me or what else that I write in my blog post here Oh a fearful I'll never be able to get to this point you know I'll never be able to achieve this I'll never be able to fix this negativity my life is so difficult I'm a victim everything is against me or impure thoughts and I said in the blog post I don't think I need to give you an example of impure thoughts okay you know where this is going if you have something in here okay would you need to change and was impacting you don't try to remove it try to replace it okay trying to remove a bad thought is like trying to remove an appetite for a icecream okay it cannot be done once I want icecream I cannot remove that appetite that desire but what I can do from smart is I will replace it and I would say I really desire ice cream right now and I desire and I desired I desire and I can't get rid of that so I'm not going to sit here and stare at the ice cream say I'm not need this ice cream not need this ice cream not need this ice cream at me look that's the craziest thing that you'll be doing okay another crazy person there that's the worst thing that you'd be doing for yourself what instead what you want to do is not seek to remove that desire for the ice cream exactly Dracula Dracula okay sorry Dracula 10 you need to eat something else you need to replace it and say you know what I'm going to eat this you know shurberg okay or the have some jello like I'm have something else to replace it as opposed to remove it okay so with that sit okay four things I want talk about four tips for tips that you can start to implement and not one of these tips and solve all your problems but if you're consistent okay and you can implement these things on regular basis I'm telling you okay I'm telling you it can have an impact on your life okay so I wrote about these in my blog okay these four steps okay I do not like that guy either what's going on here today it's a tough day it's a tough day on the scope of the commenters okay um for tips I wrote about them on my it's actually a lot of fun to block people on this thing right here I just realize there's like a satisfaction when you go and boom I'm control right there oh four tips okay um about when about when you struggle with these negative thoughts okay like I said whatever category it may be ways that you can rest them okay these long-term not short-term solutions number one talk it out number one talk it out what I mean by talk it out this is the classic example at every fourth-grade student out there knows which is this when you are faced with something scary in your room like for example the boogey man when you have the boogey man in your room what is the easiest way to take away the power of the boogey man and and the fear that you have when the boogeyman is scaring you please you open the closet door and all of a sudden the boogeyman becomes a lot weaker a lot easier to deal with right the boogeyman isn't real he's only a figment of our imagination and as long as that closet door is closed I can convince myself oh you know what there's a boogeyman and there's a boogeyman don't you hear that creak I'm sure it's a boogeyman I'm sure as soon as I close my eyes the boogeyman is going to come and eat me you convince yourself of all these things instead of trying to remove that fear and say no what I won't i won't i won't i won't i won't be scared of the boogeyman I won't be scared take what you do man get up open the closet door turn on the light there's no boogeyman do you rest easy and sometimes what we need to do is get these negative thoughts out of our head just recently someone came to me and said you know what this actually happens to me more more than you realize so if you're out there listening to this especially if you're a member of my church okay our church okay you've ever thought this this is very common someone came to me and said you know what father Anthony I get this feeling like I know you like you know um like I'm bothered you like i annoy you and I say why and how come and and the truth of the matter is is that maybe maybe I gave you that impression for some reason come and tell me and I'm going to either say yes you annoy me because of this and this is why and it will get it out and finish it right there or number two I'll tell you which is most likely which 99% the time will be the second uh okay only one percent of time and be number one ninety-nine percent of time it'll be that's not true I'm sorry I gave you that impression I love you and I'll tell you how much I love you okay so that the negative in there as long as I keep in there oh look so he said hi to that person that said hi to me alright that that's only going to feed that negative thought out you think your husband doesn't love you go ask your husband does he love you or not love you and go tell him why he makes you feel that way and see you think that your boss thinks your affair go ask your boss okay you think that your friend doesn't want to hang out go talk to them right that's a little point of friendships we go talk to one another we get these things out impure thoughts can we talk about impure thoughts well I'll tell you this if you want to get rid of those impure thoughts you better learn to talk about them I'm not saying we blast them on social media say guess who I'm thinking about right now or I'm not saying it like that please don't do that but you need to have someone that you can bring these thoughts to and say you know what I'm struggling with these things and I'm telling you just getting it out just getting it out just getting it out will make a big difference you know what sometimes I tell people to do as well when you're having crazy thoughts crazy thoughts that you know okay but you know or have any substance to them write them down don't want a piece of paper put on a piece of paper and say I think this this this is miss and put it and write it down and then you look at you say this is crazy okay I don't even want to get into the spiritual implication this how many times we think God won't accept us write that down if you think God won't accept you unto bad God will not accept me write it down and look at and once you look at it you'll see this is against everything that the Scriptures teach us okay so first thing is talk it out get it out alright remember to read a lot read a lot what's your advice to someone who does not talk about their feelings I would say find a trusted person okay start small don't talk about everything at once start small okay and and and expand okay don't don't don't start by like vomiting all your feelings out but start small okay and then go from there number two read a lot read a lot I'm telling you if you want to find one habit that will change your life all right and impact you learn to be very consistent and diligent in reading reading what reading the scriptures of curse of course first and foremost but not just limiting yourself to the scriptures reading all kinds of spiritual books okay reading books and a variety of spiritual books contemporary books books from like a thousand years ago books in like two thousand years ago believe it or not Christianity existed okay before you were born okay in existence before the Year 2015 so there were Christians who lived 1,000 years ago see what they had to say you never know you might find something that you never heard before it was Christians who lived 2,000 years ago and actually lived very much in proximity with with Christ himself in the people who knew Christ like expand your horizon and and challenge yourself intellectually okay read read read read read our Lord Jesus Christ said when he was speaking about the Scriptures they were speaking about his word I'm sorry said in John chapter 15 said you are already clean because of the word I've spoken to you you are already clean because of the word I've spoken to you when we put words from other people inspired people godly people we put those words in here what it does is it cleans okay think of it like a dish that's very dirty that's your heads the dish it's very dirty if I put a couple drops of water in there any gonna happen no but if I put a couple drops and I scrub a little bit little clean scrub a little more a little more clean scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub and I'm committed to scrubbing every day five minutes a day ten minutes a day 20 minutes a day scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub and overtime okay I will find my thoughts being purified the first person okay the first person who's thinking themself right now I don't have time to read that's most people didn't say I say that all the time if you're not time to read okay here's what you do you ask yourself and you put it on papers I like things on paper you put on paper how much time do I spend watching TV a day how much time do I spend on Facebook how much time do I spend on YouTube watching videos of dancing robots okay you ask yourself those three questions TV Facebook YouTube videos of dancing robots you calculate all that time all right and you cut that time in half half I'm not saying just to substitute I'm not saying you watch two hours TV reforge I'm not saying that I'm saying if you watch that much TV cut that number in half cut it in the third cut it in a fourth but just start reading believe me the TV time all that other time will not help you in any way with your thoughts actually that's the opposite those things will hurt your thought pattern and they will make you to have more negative thoughts if you have impure thoughts you will find impure things on TV to think about if you have insecure thoughts you will find things on the TV or on the Facebook to make you more insecure okay what you want to do if that person telling me to shut up my mouth okay I'm I don't know if he is that's not a nice way to speak okay but that's okay just don't don't do that okay let's keep it clean here okay we're all friends here I see like we're just starting global wars things like that come on man we're all friends right here right the Redskins won this past Sunday so we're all in a good mood okay so um read a lot okay just trust me on this one read a lot and be committed and then tell me after six months tell me after six months okay that the reading did no good okay but be consistent okay number three number three so we said talk it out read a lot number three maybe surprising here from from priest pray but not a lot they say hey wait a minute pray but not a lot read a lot yes pray but not a lot I would I say pray not a lot of my saying don't pray less I'm saying I'm saying pray the right way oftentimes but what's the point of Prayer what's the point of prayer the point of prayers that I come to God and I give to God whatever it is that's all my heart and the kind of prayer that's good as we come to say God I'm struggling with these impure thoughts please help me okay said your Holy Spirit help me okay like I'm struggling with insecurity help me and that's it the kind of prayer that's bad okay as I wrote about my blog post this morning is God I know I made a mistake please forgive me for my mistake I know my mistake was really bad please don't let my mistake ruin my day please don't let this mistake have consequences and please God remove this mistake and this mistake in his mistake and then you have to forgive me even though this mistake oh my goodness man all of you've done is take a small problem and make it bigger that kind of obsessive prayer is not really praetor that kind of obsessive prayer is not really prayer real prayer is when we come to God and we bring our requests in front of God and we leave it in front of it we leave in front of it but if all we're doing is finding herself and bringing me back all were doing is further embedding the thought in our mind I'll give you the simple example okay like I said let's say I struggle with impure thoughts and I say please God don't let me think about this woman again please God don't let me think about this woman again please don't know anything about this what this woman was wearing please let me think about what this woman was talking about like oh my goodness man like you just took a small problem you made it very very very big you come and say God I surrendered my mind to you I trust in you glory be to God for every men if you want to continue to pray I gave you three criteria what that prayer should look like that prayer should have these three qualities okay this is the kind of true prayer versus the obsessive prayer should be thankful prayer should be trusting prayer should be praised okay pray thankful thanking God okay that I have they have all these impure thoughts the thank came for all the good that I do have and the progress that I have made be trusting that he who has begun a good work in me will bring it to completion and be praising him okay and glorify Him for the greatness that he is despite my weakness okay I'm insecure don't remind yourself of your insecurities remind yourself of his greatness despite your mistakes and insecurities okay last one okay and then I'll open it up for questions and we'll see how the questions things go last thing as our friends back in the 80s taught us just say no okay just say no just say no we were taught back in there we were kids they just say no about about drugs okay and I'm telling you just say no to the negative thoughts negative thoughts there's a verse in 2nd Corinthians chapter 10 verse 5 that says bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ say that again bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ I have this statue here which I have on my desk okay which usually is right there in front of me in front of my desk I love this ok so here's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna take every thought that comes in and this here this is my my my my custom station ok so to speak ok this is Mike son station this is if you're going to enter into my country but we have some friends from Russia all right we're on here or Holland or Switzerland is that you from you all want to come to United States of America welcome love to have you but in order to do so you need to pass by a custom station that's going to make sure that nothing you're carrying is harmful for this country so when you pass by there they check you out they ask you questions they let you end if you got something harmful they say we love you you cannot enter this country this is my custom station here comes a thought okay waiting before I accept this done it has to go through the customs station and I have to bring that thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ so if Christ says you know what this is not a good thought get it out of here just say no just say no you got a thought that says you're the worst wife in the whole wide world that's a thought you're the worst wife in the whole wide world before I accept it I bring it to him and he says get this thought out of here so I don't sit there and say well no I'm not maybe I can be a better wife and I'm not a good get that thought out of here get it out of here get it out if it's from God okay God will tell you that you need to improve but God doesn't use guilt and shame and your the work I kind of shame us into being better okay God inspires us to be better get the guilt out of here get the shame out of here okay you run everything by this custom station you bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ you know why custom stations are so important because we know you know and I know then enemy on the inside is much more dangerous than an enemy on the outside right an enemy on the outside we have lots enemies on the outside but if that enemy gets on the inside of us that's that's a really danger that's when World Trade Centers explode when not the enemy is living across the world but when the enemy is on the inside and he's amongst us okay that's the most dangerous thing that happens if you allow the enemy to come in here like the enemy is all around us no doubt and you turn on the TV you're going to fight you impurity okay you go to work he's going to fight you with insecurity you got like anywhere you go the enemy is going to fight you you can't let him fight from the inside if you let him come on inside you your chances of success diminish greatly so you've got to be committed you've got to be committed why I'm saying this is committed done here I'll take questions you've got to be committed because this is a long-term thing this is not a short-term listen to father Anthony say a few scopes say a few things on the scope for tips and so that's not how it works you've got to be committed to talking it out okay something comes in get it out something comes in get it out get it out with with a trusted friend go go straight to the friend who I think doesn't like me go to my wife my husband go to my my spiritual father go get it out number two read a lot they read a lot read a lot read Allah scriptures and beyond the scriptures number three pray not a lot okay pray pray the right way is what I really mean to say but you know what I'm trying to sing and the number four you got to be committed to just say no this thing's not going to be easy the devil is not going to leave you alone you say I'm committed I do always write things you put your head down to bed at night that's the time by the way when the devil gets it from us with the thoughts go to head down to bed at night and all of a sudden and come those thoughts in that battle you got to be committed to just saying that okay all right I talked a lot here today there was a lot to activity going on there and I will check all of those comments after I finished let me take some questions how can tell demonstrating being negative and being realistic isn't that a fine line that's a great question okay that it is a very important point there between being negative and being realistic we have to be honest and examine ourselves okay and allow God to guide us through our process of like examining ourselves regularly all right but when God does it it's never in a guilt or shame kind of a way it's always in a improvement kind of a way think of it like the kind of person of madonna's one who asked that she has a child think about if you if you want your child to improve you don't guilt or shame your child okay there's a difference in the spirit okay even the the Saint John the Beloved tells us to test all the spirits so I don't really have an answer for you but that is an important distinction that you can talk it out with someone okay can help you may be a spiritual father and pray God God will guide you when you're really seeking the truth okay so trust that I'm sorry there's a lot of question I can get them all do you have kids first or wife or kids I have a wife okay and the wife first many kids any books you recommend can't stop the bird that's a great one can't stop the birds from flying around but can't stop them from building a nest in your hair amen to that one my broadcasts are on catch also my blog headings plane orthodoxy to Protestants different topic negative memories from the past okay and blasphemous thoughts I'll try to get those two negative memories from the past I always think of it this way that when you have negative things that are in here okay think of it like watching a movie over and over and over and over and over and over the more you watch that movie okay the more that movie is embedding itself in your head you have to commit to what I said right here but in addition you have to commit to not watching the movie because the movies going to start to replay automatically and you have to commit to get away from this thing okay and Here I am sitting there and I go to bed and all of a sudden this thoughts come back to me of like a mistake I made get it out of there get are there I have to be committed to because let's be honest sometimes it's easier just to continue with like the imagination and just to kind of continue like whether it's whatever kind of thought it is so you have to be really really really committed and ask God for help and God will help you and one of the things that I would encourage okay okay we have this book on the Coptic Orthodox Church which is called the book of the hours mine doesn't have a cover their listeners are covered okay this one right here this is a great book a prayer book that is based on the songs and it gives us prayers throughout the day and if you've never seen this book before or maybe you've seen it's kind of dusty on your shelf if you someone's asking about nighttime prayers okay there's a prayer in here called the midnight hour prayer which is super super super powerful if you're struggling at night I would encourage you pull this thing out and just read some songs and read from the prayer of the midnight hour it will be more powerful than you can imagine okay there was a season in my life where I used to actually do that why you select even get up in the middle of the night like go to sleep at like 10:00 wake up at like 2:00 o'clock in the morning it wasn't very long season short season but it's very very very powerful okay and and if you struggled with the night time let's try that out okay yeah faithful old style of thank you appreciate that do you ever think they'll be world peace with religion I don't know okay I don't ask me big questions as many little questions here I'll take questions for another two minutes I saw there's a lot of questions sorry I didn't get to them all at bay or a prayer book of the hours yes absolutely at bay is the Coptic name for it prayer book the hours the English no questions hi from Canada hello as well I'm really sorry about the funny conversation that took place right here it's hard for me to concentrate on them and talk at the same time what I'm going to do take a little book the egg baya prayer book of the hours I'm going to go back through all the comments I can post a post scope block people so I will probably do that to some of you I'm really sorry forgive me if this was distracting okay good old turn off the comments if you want but you don't have to UM yeah I'm really really sorry about that but I appreciate all of you coming on yeah you can get it as a napkin get everything as Matt these days okay um how can you have positive thoughts when you feel like God has let you down ganas let you down okay I'll finish on this one okay most likely most likely I understand that you feel that way I understand that you feel that God has let you down but I will bet you that when you read the history book at the end of this life you will read the history book you will look back okay on day one day two day three day a million day ten billion how many days have been on this earth you look back at all those days you'll probably discover that you let God down a lot more than you let you down I understand why you're saying it you're hurt I totally understand that okay but just be careful because those are the negative thoughts that I'm talking about you can't accept ok those negative thoughts is that God let you down okay when reality we're probably the ones boo my goodness that's not a nice thing to say at all alright that's not most likely it's not you that is being let down probably the other way around okay thank you all very much sorry for the crazy comments today I'm gonna look at them right now I'll be blocking a whole bunch y'all but thank you for tuning in I will see

Channel: Fr. Anthony Messeh

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Keywords: Katch, Periscope

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Length: 33min 3sec (1983 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 10 2016