[applause] When Matthew mentioned my name, and then there
were some âwoos,â I was excited! I was like, âYay, some woos!â And somebody sitting near me said, âI think
it was all women who wooed for you,â andâ [laughter] And Iâm like, âOkay, first of all, this
is an LGBTQ conference. You know you canât tell somebodyâs gender
by their voice.â [laughter] But yeah, it was probably the moms. [cheers and applause] You know, truly, I am so grateful to the âmama
bearsâ who have been there for our community, for so many of us, and for me personally. After my mom passed away, there are a number
of moms of LGBTQ kids who have just been like surrogate moms for me and have encouraged
me so many times. Iâm so grateful to all of you for what youâve done for me, but
also for what youâre doing for all of us. And also to the dads, thank you for all that
you do as well. You moms and dads are moving things forward
in spaces where many of us LGBTQ folks donât have the ability to be heard yet. Iâm so grateful to you. But with all due respect to the moms, you
know, as a single guy, I wouldnât mind getting some woos from some eligible Christian guys
once in a while, but it's okay. [laughter] [audience member: woo] [more laughter] Well, this talk just took an unexpected turn. But no, I kid. I am so honored by the warm reception and
so thrilled to be here. Some of you know, I have been organizationally
homeless for a couple of years now, so itâs wonderful to be here at The Reformation Project,
witnessing history in the making the way that we have this weekend. I just have such tremendous respect for Matthew
and for the work of TRP, and thereâs no place I would rather be right now, so thanks,
Matthew, for all that you do and for being such a faithful advocate. So most of the time when I speak, I start
off by sharing my story, because I believe stories are powerful and important; I think
thereâs a reason the Bible is largely made up of stories and that Jesus often taught
through stories; stories matter. But since it seems like most of you here already
know my story, Iâm not going to spend a lot of time on my story this morning. But for those of you who donât know my story...it is
available for sale in the lobby, so umâ [laughter] If you hurry and speed read, you can get caught
up before the end of the talk. Short version: I received Christ at a young
age, I grew up Southern Baptist, I was very anti-gayâ And for me at the time, it was âgay,â
I didnât think in terms of âLGBTQâ at that timeâbut I was very anti-gay at the
time, I thought that being gay and being Christian were sort of polar opposites, and then I realized
I was gay, surprise! God has a way of doing these things we donât
expect. I tried not to be gay, discovered that didnât
work, and eventually after a lot of prayer and Bible study, I became fully affirming. That is the super-short version. Since then, Iâve spent the last 20-plus
years of my life doing ministry work, much of it speaking to people who are not affirming
and are not even supportive, often, of LGBTQ folksâtrying to be patient with their misconceptions,
taking it step by step to help them understand. Because I get it. I believed for a long time that gay Christians
werenât real Christians, that they were just activistsâin the worst sense of that
termâwhose activism and unbridled lust was more important to them than their faith. So once I realized that wasnât true, I wanted
to help other people understand by patiently explaining the stuff that I wished someone
had explained to me. And thatâs where my book Torn came from. And my organization The Gay Christian Network
that I spent 16 years running was both to answer those questions for those folks and
to provide support to folks who needed it. By the way, running an organization called
The Gay Christian Network had the lovely side effect that I had a corporate credit card
that the bank couldnât fit the full name of the organization on, and so I walked around
with this credit card that said, âJustin Lee, The Gay Christian.â
Whichâ [laughter] It was always interesting checking into a
hotel for work purposes in Podunk, Alabama, and handing over that credit card, and getting
that sort ofâ Iâm like, âYeah, Iâm the one youâve
been hearing about.â But thankfully it wasnât just me; there
were folks who came before me, there are folks who've continued the work after I started, and
folks whoâve been doing this work in public and private ways in so many different ways,
not just in terms of gay Christians, but LGBTQ+ Christians and family members and friends
and pastors andâall of us working for a better church that is more fully living
out the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And so I am no longer with that organization,
but I am thrilled to be here fully in support of The Reformation Project and Matthewâs
work. Matthew, I so admire his integrity, his commitment
to Scripture and theological orthodoxy, and his incredible work ethic. And I think this conference is amazing. So, Matthew, thank you to you. [applause] People have asked me, since Torn came out,
if I would consider writing a sequel to talk about all the stuff thatâs happened since
in my life and in the church. And, you know, I did write another book called
Talking Across the Divide, but it wasnât exactly a sequel to Torn. Iâve played around with the idea of, if
I did write a sequel to Torn, what it would be called. I thought maybe like, âTorn 2: Bits.â [laughter] Or I considered, âTorn: A New One.â [laughter] People have tried to dissuade me from that
title; I donât know why... But I want to do something a little different
this morning. Because you know, very often, the speaking
that I do is to conservative Christian audiences that are either not affirming or somewhere
on the fence or tiptoeing into being affirmingâfolks who really need me to do some LGBTQ Christian
101 with them, to answer a lot of really basic questions. And itâs not very often that I get a chance
to speak to an audience where there are so many just LGBTQ Christians in the audience
who are already affirming, where we get to talk about the stuff that maybe we donât
normally talk about. So there are a few things that I do want to
share this morning, just to be a little open about where I am right now in life. I started watchingâAppleâs got this new
show, I donât know if youâve seen it, called The Morning Show.
Has anybody seen The Morning Show? [silence] Thereâs uhâWell, that shows how well Appleâs
doing in promoting their new stuff. They have this show called The Morning Show
and thereâs this scene in, I think, the first episode, where one of the characters
whoâs a reporter is talking about the state of politics in America. And thereâs this moment where she gets caught
on camera, she doesnât know the cameraâs rolling, and sheâs yelling at this person
and she says, âI am so exhausted!â And I was watching this show and I was like,
âI feel you. I am exhausted with this world.â Being LGBTQ and Christian is exhausting sometimes. And you know, I think itâs wonderful for
us to come to a place like this and talk about all the good stuff and all of the hope
and all of the blessings from God, but sometimes weâre just exhausted. I get tired of having to explain myself or hide
myself or come out every moment of every day. Itâs likeâ People who are not LGBTQ often donât realize
that LGBTQ folks, you donât just come out one time. You keep coming out over and over and over
and over. If youâre in a relationship with somebody
and youâre at the grocery store and you make a decision about how close to stand to
that person, youâre coming out again to the people around you. And depending on where you live and depending
on who the people are who are around you, maybe itâs not a big deal or maybe it really
is. And that can be a lot of tension to hold all
the time. But especially as a gay Christian, I find
myself tired of having to be âthe good gay Christianâ all the time. Not that I donât think that I should be
a good Christian all the time, but itâs exhausting to be always under the microscope. Always representing not just myself, but like,
all of these other people. Like people are waiting for me to make a mistake. Itâs exhausting to have to explain myself
all the time. To feel judged by both sides all the time. To hear my LGBTQ friends judge me for being
a Christian, and my Christian friends or other folks I meet in my career judge me for being
gay. I get tired of not feeling safe in Christian
spaces until and unless someone goes out of their way to let
me know that itâs a safe space for me. Iâm tired of the default being that I have
to be on guard until someone explicitly says, âYouâre safe here.â And even then
being skeptical because of all the times people have told me someplace was
going to be safe and then I found too late that it wasnât. [response from audience] Yeah, by all means, interact with me,
by the way, right now. Yâall have been sitting there for a long
time and this is heavy stuff, so like, if you want to find your inner Charismatic, Iâm
all about it. [audience member: Yeah!] I grew up Southern Baptist, where you sit
very quietly when people are talking, and Iâm done with that. So. [laughter] But I get tired of finding that safe spaces
arenât always safe. And by safe space, I donât mean I want places
where Iâm not going to be challenged. As a Christian, I want to be challenged in
my faith. What I mean is I want places where I can worship
without having to be a personal guide to LGBTQ 101 to everyone all the timeâand treated
as if Iâm guilty of all the negative stereotypes everyone has about gay men until I somehow
prove myself innocent. Iâm tired of feeling like I have to be twice
as pious as a straight Christian to be taken seriously. [applause] Because hereâs the thing: I can never live
up to those expectations of perfection, because Iâm human. And Iâm gonna screw up. Thereâs a Christian, somewhat obscure but
pretty awesome, Christian rock band I listened to back in the 90s, and I still listen to
them today, called The Choir. And they have a song with these lyrics: âIâm nobodyâs angel, Iâm not that
good. âIâm no red devil in the wicked wood. âIâm a dedicated minister
and a downright sinister man. âIâm a whole lot better and a whole lot
worse âthan what you think I am.â And I know how that feels. To be held up as an angel...
or condemned as a devil. And Iâm neither one. Iâm a human being. And Iâm fallen, Iâm a sinner, and Iâm
forgiven and sanctified by the blood of Jesus. [cheers and applause] The thing is, none of us are ever going to
be good enough in this life, and thatâs the whole point of Christianity. That God sent Jesus Christ to be good enough
for us. And I do think, though, that what we believe
and what we do matters. I think itâs important that those of us
who are LGBTQ Christians not be Christian in name only. And you know, thatâs part of the problem,
too, because I want affirming Christian spaces where I can worship and feel welcome, and
yet not every affirming Christian space feels to me like a Christian space! And yet outsiders tend to assume that any
affirming Christian space in the world is a representation of me and what I believe. But just like any other Christian space, there
are spaces that I think are doing it better and spaces that I think are not doing it as
well. There are leaders that I say, âThat person,
I really agree with the vast majority of what they say,â and other people I say, âYou
know, this person and I, we may share some beliefs, but not the vast majority.â LGBTQ Christians struggle, many of us, with
shame as well. I find that even after more than 20 years
of ministry as a gay Christian, there are still times that I hear that little voice
from all the bad stuff I was told about gay people growing up. And itâs something that Iâm kind ofâI
hate to even admit in public. Because I always have this fear, since Iâm
always under the microscope, I always have this fear that a non-affirming Christian is
going to say, âA-ha! If you feel a little voice of shame, thatâs
the Holy Spirit convicting you.â Right? Sometimes you feel like you canât admit your
weakness without somebody seizing on it. But hereâs the thing: There is a huge difference
between shame and conviction. They are not the same thing. [applause] I know what it feels like to be convicted
by the Holy Spirit, because there are many, many times in my life that the Holy Spirit
has convicted me of my own sinfulness. And sometimes I listened and sometimes I didnât. Sometimes I did this kind of, âla la la
la, Iâm not listeningâ thing. But thatâs not what this is. This shame that many of us have struggled
with in our lives is, I think, a result of having grown up hearing so many negative messages
about who we are from the same people who gave us the positive messages about who Jesus
is. And itâs very hard to disentangle those
two. But, you know, itâs not just âbeing LGBTQ
and Christianâ stuff that exhausts me. Secular gay male culture exhausts me. [laughter] No one else has had that experience. Clearly. Dating is exhausting in the gay male world
and especially as a gay Christian. And thereâs this thing in gay male culture
that bugs the heck out of me, where a lot of gay men seem to have taken their cues about
how to behave as gay men from reality TV shows. Like theyâre living out RuPaulâs Drag
Race at every moment. And this, like, cattiness. This mean cattiness toward other people. Which is not strength; itâs meanness. The gay male world is filled with racism
and ageism and bigotry and fetishizing and
dehumanizing people. And, you know, I want to be clear; I think
the secular LGBTQ world as a whole certainly has some significant strengths and things
we can learn from, like its commitment to diversity. But I get exhausted by the factions and the
call-out culture and the lack of healthy boundaries, sexual and otherwise. And can I be honest? Too often, our community confuses one kind
of pride for the other. The word âprideâ in English can mean two
different things. Right? Pride can be the opposite of shame: âIâm not ashamed of who I am;
Iâm proud of who I am.â Thatâs a good kind of pride to have. But pride also can mean not the opposite of
shame but the opposite of humility. And that kind of pride is the kind of pride
the Bible warns us against. It is a sin. The kind of pride that goes before a fall. The kind of pride that says not âI am glad
to be who I am because God created me as something goodâ but the kind of pride that says âI
am so good that I donât need God.â Thatâs the kind of pride that led Adam and
Eve to decide that they should eat the fruit and be gods themselves. When we talk about pride as LGBTQ people,
we often donât distinguish between these two kinds of pride. What does it mean to us to go to a Pride march
or Pride rally and talk about how âproudâ we are? Does it mean that we refuse to be ashamed
of who God created us to be? Because if so, thatâs good. But when we allow that to slip into this idea
that weâre so good we donât need to change in any way, thatâs bad. And you know, those are mistakes I expect
of a secular world. But theyâre mistakes that we as Christians
should not make. And yet sometimes we do. But you know, Iâm also exhausted by the
current state of our polarized world. You ever look at the world and think to yourself,
âWe seem to be in some kind of a giant handbasket...â â...and Iâm not sure where weâre heading,
but Iâm pretty sure itâs not the Good Place.â If it is, though, I want to get Ted Dansonâs
autograph. Because that man... Like if this were a video game, this is the
point where Iâd be going, âYou know, let me restore from a previous save.
I thinkââ [laughter] We live in a world that mistakes hardheartedness
for strength. That mistakes self-centeredness for self-respect. That mistakes self-righteousness for actual
righteousness. A world divided by tribalism, where weâre
quick to condemn those who disagree with us and slow to empathize with them. An âall or nothingâ culture where if youâre
only 99% in agreement with me, then youâre the enemy, and you need to be âcalled outâ
or âcanceledâ because that 1% isnât up to my standards. And you know what, there are times when someone
is doing something harmful and they donât respond to attempts to bring it up privately
with them, and so bringing public pressure may be the only option to stop further harm
from being done. But weâve turned this into a cottage industry,
everyone on Twitter building their reputation and their follower count by pointing fingers
at everyone else for not living up to this standard or that standard. And that is toxic and exhausting. Because the thing is, deep down, we all know
we canât stand up to that level of scrutiny, because none of us is perfect. Every single one of us has parts of ourselves
we would rather not share with the whole world. We say #nofilter but of course thereâs a
filter. Thereâs always a filter. Get the right lighting, get the right angle. Donât let people see your flaws. I read this article last week written by a
news anchor in Texas who, for years, smiled and projected confidence on TV as he kept
the secret of how he and his sister grew up in squalor, living amidst cockroaches and
dog feces. And I was thinking, how many of us have lived
our lives under a perpetual burden of shame? Shame for our upbringing, for our past mistakes,
for experiences of sexual abuse or assault, for our inner lives, for mental illness, or
simply for who we are... And we present a version of ourselves to the
public, the version we want people to see, but we hide the truths that make us feel unlovable,
the things that make it hard for us to even love ourselves. And so people try to counter that with a message
that you JUST need to love yourself, but then they do THAT in a toxic way. They behave selfishly and call it âself-care,â
and if people complain about their bad behavior, they say things like, âHey, if you canât handle me at my worst,
you donât deserve me at my best!â Which is just a fancy way of saying, âI
donât want to be held responsible for the impact my actions have on other people.â Meanwhile, studies show that weâre getting
lonelier and lonelier. And our always-on internet connections and
always-available social media arenât helping matters. And theyâre not helping us get closer to
the truth either. We live in this Information Age whereâ You know, before, we got information in little
bits. Right? Like little drops of water, take what you
can get. And maybe you might believe some falsehoods
that come from well-meaning trusted sources. But that was the way information came. You got information where you could. And as the internet started to open up, we
started to have access to this little stream of water, where we had access to more information
but still plenty of time to fact-check it. Now there was no excuse for being wrong about
checkable things because you could just search for the right information. But now we have not a stream of water but
a firehose of water. Itâs like that scene in the movie UHF, those
of you who ever saw that. Where he opens up the firehoseâ Yeah, okay, thanks to the one UHF fan. This guyâs got a childrenâs TV show and
he says, âNow you get to drink from the firehose!â And the kid comes up and he opens up the firehose
and the kid shoots across the room. Itâs way too much for anybody to consume. And so there are plausible, true-sounding
arguments for just about anything you want to believe. So we all just search for whatever we want
and truth is lost amid the noise. I think the church ought to be a purveyor
of truth in the world. A trusted source in the midst of
that firehose of information. But how do we stand out amid the noise? I think one of the ways we can do that is
to invest in people emotionally. This generation invented the term âghostâ
because for the first time, technology made ghosting a regular widespread phenomenon. People just disappear because there are always
more people waiting. Social media...I mean, normally you might
think social media would make us less lonely. But the thing about social mediaâ Actually, um, speaking of which, I need to
Instagram this. Hang on a second. [laughter] [continued laughter] Uh, Matthew, wherever you are, you want me
to tag you in this? Go ahead. Iâmâ
Keep talking, Iâm listening. Yeah, keep talking, Iâm listening.
Iâm listening. Reformation Project...speaking at the Reformation
Project...Conference... #nofilter Okay. So. [applause] So anyway, the thing about social media... Oh, I got likes already. Iâm listening. No, I love my phone but these things become
addictive. And it leads to a fake kind of connection. Our attempts to connect make us more lonely. Because itâs shallow. Itâs like being thirsty and drinking gallons
of saltwater. And it just makes things worse and worse and
worse. The thing that you think is going to help
you is slowly killing you. What kills me though is that the church has
something to offer to address all of these things. And yet weâve lost our salt and light in
the world. Weâve become known for so many bad thingsâfor
the anti-gay pastor who turns out to be gay, the trusted leader who was abusing members
of the flock, the hypocrisy, the self-righteousness, the ex-gay movements.... ...that for so many of us, the world out there
and the folks in here, the church is no longer a safe space. And so people are leaving. Theyâre falling away. Years ago, back when I was in middle school,
so a lot of years ago, I had a math teacher who knew that I was a
math geek, and he gave me this sort of extracurricular problem. And it was this algebra sort-of proof. He started with givens and then ended up with
âone equals two.â And Iâm like, âI know that canât be
right. One doesnât equal two.â And so I went through every step of the problem. But it all seemed right. So I went through every step of the problem
again. Every step made sense. âYeah, you add to both sides, subtract from
both sides, you multiply, you divide. You do this, you factor it, and... one equals
two.â I couldnât figure it out. Imagine if we gave people that problem and
they said, âWell I know one doesnât equal two, so clearly math is bunk.â âThe answerâs wrong, so...Iâm giving
up on math.â âClearly you can make math say whatever
you want it to say.â And the danger is we start to believe it. But hereâs the thing. Math isnât the problem. Math is the solution. The solution to bad math is better math. And I finally figured out where the trick
was. It involved division by zero, for the math
geeks who really care. But it was a cleverly disguised division by
zero. The math wasnât the problem. It was that the math was being applied incorrectly. Jesus isnât the problem. Jesus is the solution. But misuse of Jesus is the problem. Because you misuse the name of Jesus often
enough and eventually people stop trusting the name. I believe Jesus is the Savior of the world,
and that matters, because even when our fellow Christians let us down, Jesus is the answer
to all of these questions. What Christ offers is not simply one more
option in a never-ending list of competing life philosophies. Jesus says, âI am the vine; you are the
branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will
bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.â I think aboutâ My favorite Pixar film is
Ratatouille. I love Ratatouille. The little rat is up in the guyâs hat and
like secretly controlling him, because the rat can cook and the guy canât. And the guy is the vessel by which the rat
cooks. But eventually, the guy starts to think that
all of the acclaim people give him is true. And he leaves the rat by the side of the road. But heâs not the cook. Heâs not the chef. Remy the rat is the chef. Itâs the Holy Spiritâ I donât know why I compared the Holy Spirit
to a rat. Ignore that. [laughter] Itâs the Holy Spirit working in us that
people need to see. [applause] Instead of saltwater that takes more than
it gives, Jesus offers us living water: Forgiveness of our sins, salvation for our
souls, but also a quenching of the deepest longings of our hearts in the here and now;
God with us, bringing peace and joy and all the rest of the fruits of the Spirit. And you know, weâre saved by grace through
faith, not by works. But this doesnât absolve us of the need
to do Godâs will. Luke 8:21, âMy mother and brothers are those
who hear Godâs word and put it into practice.â I think how we live as Christians matters. Some people have gotten the impression that
LGBTQ Christians believe that because of grace, Godâs commandments donât apply to us. But Jesus came to fulfill the law, not to
abolish it. And thatâs not our message; the point is
that we believe the Bible doesnât condemn being LGBTQ, and for those of us on Side A
like The Reformation Project, we believe the Bible also doesnât condemn same-sex marriage. And we have Side B Christian brothers and
sisters who would disagree with us on that. But none of us are saying that Godâs commandments
donât matter; they do matter. How we live matters. So how do we live? Well, that would be a whole talk in and of
itself, right? A whole sermon series. That could be Torn 2. But Micah 6:8 says, âWhat does the Lord
require of you but to do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God?â Do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with
your God. Do justice. Weâre called to do justice, not just
not do injustice. Not just to sit by on the sidelines like the
person who buried his talents in the sand and gave them right back to the master. You remember that parable? No, weâre called to invest.
To DO justice. To get involved.
To make a difference. To put more justice into the world than was
there when we started. Thatâs a big part of what The Reformation
Project is about. Itâs a big part of what it is to be a Christian,
to be DOING justice in the world. Doing justice is about investing something
temporal (our time and talents and money) in something eternal (people, whom God loves). Storing up our treasure in heaven. And weâre called to do justice with boldness
and audacity. Jesus tells this story in Luke: âSuppose
you have a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say, âFriend, lend me three loaves of
bread; a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have no food to offer him.â And suppose the one inside answers, âDonât
bother me. The door is already locked, and my children
and I are in bed. I canât get up and give you anything.â I tell you, even though he will not get up
and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity he
will surely get up and give you as much as you need." âShameless audacity.â
I love that. Thatâs the NIV rendering. The NASB says âbecause of your persistence.â The ESVâthis is maybe my favorite oneâsays
âbecause of your impudence.â [laughter] But notice, the reason the hero of the story
is being so âimpudentâ is to care for another person. Not, âHey, knock knock knock, wake up and
give me some cake because Iâm feeling a craving coming on.â No, âThis other person needs bread; I donât
have it but you do. Will you give it to me to give to them?â That is a key message for allies. And you know what? All of us are allies of someone. [applause] So weâre called to do justice and then weâre
called to love mercy. âLoveâ is, I think, a higher order than
âdo.â Weâre not just called to DO mercy, but to
LOVE mercy. You know, you can do something but do it begrudgingly,
because youâre required to, but when you love something, youâve got to be passionate,
youâve got to be all in for it. And weâre called to love mercy, to be all
in for mercy. And when we truly love mercy, then our every
action, our every fiber of our being should be infused with mercy. Because God has been so merciful to us that
we canât help but show mercy to others. To those who hurt us. To those who still need to grow and learn. To those who are sinners, just as we are. Done improperly, done the worldâs way, justice
and mercy seem to be opposites. I think part of the problem with âcancel
cultureâ is that it is so often justice without mercy. But the hero of Jesusâ story about the bread
is persistent in what he asks for but doesnât treat the person inside the house as the enemy. The person says, âFriend, give me this bread.â Not, âYou jerk, get up!â You canât change peopleâs minds by treating
them as enemies. Mercy means treating people with lovingkindness,
but it also means forgiving those who have wronged us. And you now, that may be one of the most scandalous
things Jesus teaches. Because thatâs not how our favorite stories
normally work. You know, in all our favorite Disney classic
films, the villain usually meets a violent end, and we want the real world to work that
way. One of my favorite moments in one of my favorite
films, The Princess Bride... [cheers] ...is where Fred Savageâs character, the
kid whoâs hearing the story of The Princess Bride, interrupts his grandfather, telling
the story, and says, âWait a minute.
Who kills Humperdinck?â His grandfather says, âI donât understand.â He says, âWho kills Prince Humperdinck?â
(The villain of the story.) âWho kills Prince Humperdinck? âAt the end! Someone's gotta do it.
Is it Inigo? Who?â And his grandfather says, âNobody. âNobody kills him.
He lives.â And Fred Savageâs character says, âYou
mean he wins? âGrandpa, what did you read me this thing for?â We want to see the worst possible thing happen
to our enemies. In the Old Testament, we see David and others
longing for vengeance. âGod, smite these people!â And then Jesus comes along in the New Testament
and says, âLove your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you. Forgive as you want to be forgiven.â Jesus says it, the writers of the epistles
say it, we hear it over and over: Love those who donât treat you with love. Nobody kills Prince Humperdinck. Itâs Godâs will that Prince Humperdinck
would be forgiven in the end. Now Prince Humperdinck does at least get humiliated
in The Princess Bride. We like the idea of that. But Jesus suggests that the true happy ending
is one where the villain gets forgiven. And thatâs one of the hardest teachings
in Christianity. And that, not the LGBTQ stuff, should be the
real reason people get frustrated with Christianity. Thereâs a scene in a recent episode of The
Good Place, where a character saysâ Ah, not as many woos as The Princess Bride. Sorry. Where a character says, âWhen people like
him are ignorant jerks, why are people like us asked to forgive him?â Thatâs the question the secular world asks. Itâs a reasonable and compelling thing to
ask from the worldâs perspective, but Christianity says God has a different perspective. Because God sees how far all of us are from
righteousness. But God also sees the good in us. God loves us. When the Bible tells us that all of us are
sinners, the point isnât for us to go around feeling terrible all of the time; the point
is to give us the perspective that we need to recognize how much God has loved and forgiven
us, in large part so that we can love our fellow sinners. Now, Iâm not saying no one is a villain. There are people who intentionally cause harm
to others, but if we treat everyone we disagree with as villains, we run the risk of being
the equivalent of the boy who cried wolf. The LGBTQs who cried âproblematic.â And even with the worst villains out there,
God doesnât give up on them. But mercy must go with justice. Jeremiah 6:14 says, âThey have healed the
wound of my people lightly, saying, âPeace, peace,â when there is no peace.â We donât want to ask people to be âhealed
lightly.â You ever had someone wound you deeply and
then ask you to move on as if no wound occurred? Mercy without an eye toward justice is cheap
grace. And yet itâs so easy for use to use that
âpeace, peaceâ passage to justify not forgiving those who have wronged us. But weâre still called to forgive. Because thatâs an Old Testament passage
and Jesus shows up in the New Testament and says, âSpoiler alert: mercy wins in the
end.â Weâre still called to have mercy, even when
itâs painful. Even when there is no peace. But Jesus was not preaching cheap grace. Jesus understood that to show mercy to one
who has done you wrong exacts a cost. And Jesus said, âIâm going to show you
what it looks like. âBecause Iâm going to let you kill me. âAnd with every lash of the whip and every
degrading humiliation and every pound of the nail into my flesh, Iâm going to show you
what Godâs grace looks like.â In a world where everyone is a victim, everyone
is holding a grudge and pointing a finger, Jesus teaches us this painful, costly, powerful,
redeeming grace. And that is what the world needs to see from
us. And let me tell you something. The LGBTQ people in this room who have been
hurt the most, and all of us who have been hurt the most by the church, are in the best position
to show the world what that grace looks like. [applause] Do justice, love mercy, walk humbly. Walking humbly to me suggests that our daily
lives should be characterized by humility at all times. You know, we live in a culture of self-promoters,
and yet we are called to serve others, as Jesus washed the feet of those who were beneath
him and told his disciples to do likewise. Matthew mentioned earlier this weekend his
friend and mine, Rachel Held Evans. I was at Rachelâs funeral. Rachel was a very good friend to me. Rachel always was willing to take time out
of her day to offer encouragement. I found out after she died that she had a
sticky note on her exercise equipment to pray for me on a regular basis. For me personally. Rachel was way more famous, way better known,
had way more demands on her time than me. And I got to this funeral, and I met so many
Christian leaders there. And every one of them had a story about how
Rachel was like one of their best friends. For all of the ways in which Rachel got public
acclaim and worked social media well and wrote these books and did all these great things,
she took even more time to care on a one-on-one basis for so many other people, in a way that
she never expected to be public. And all of these other leaders, who were struggling
with all these other things in their own lives, had so many stories of how Rachel had been
there for them and supported them and loved them and shown them grace. And never made them feel like a burden to
her. And I truly do not know how she made time
for it all. But thatâs who I want to be. Thatâs what it looks like to walk humbly. Walking humbly also means that we all have
to be open to correction. A lot of us have been so burned by folks in
the church telling us the things that were âwrongâ with us that we get like this
sunburn where even a light touch feels like an assault. And so we donât want any correction ever. But you know, at some point, weâve got to
heal from that and move on and get to a place where we can accept healthy correction from
our church. We need our church to offer us boundaries
that the secular world doesnât and help us figure out how to do all this well. We need to be sensitive to the needs of those
who have been burned and hurt by the church, but then we also need to figure out, how do
we heal? So we do justice and we love mercy and we
walk humbly, and thatâs not the end. The end says, âWalk humbly...with your God.â Weâre so used to hearing that, I think
itâs easy for us to not think about what a powerful phrase that is.
âWalk humbly with your God.â I mean, imagine if I said to you, âHey,
could you do this task, I need you to do this thing. Could you do this
thing...with Meryl Streep?â [laughter] âIâve got a little thing, if you donât
mind doing this...with BeyoncĂŠ. She needs some help.â The God of the Universe says, âI want you
to do this...with Me. Iâm gonna walk with you.â And that should give us both the humility
of recognizing that we are in no way worthy to walk in the presence of the Creator of
the universe, except through Christ... ...and the confidence of knowing God has our
backs. And LGBTQ folks, we need that confidence,
because we need to recognize something important: We are not standing outside the church knocking
on the door, hoping someone will let us in if weâre persistent enough. We already are the church. We already are the Body of Christ. [applause] We are the salt and the light. And the eye cannot say to the hand, âI donât
need you.â Jesus says, "Whoever believes in me, as Scripture
has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.â Some translations say, âfrom out of their
hearts.â John continues: âBy this he meant the Spirit,
whom those who believed in him were later to receive.â So the living water Christ gives us isnât
only to quench our thirst. Itâs also to flow out of our hearts and
into the lives of others. At the end of the day, when we put Jesus at
the core of it, not relying on the church that has sometimes
gotten it wrong, not relying on the secular world that sometimes
exhausts us to tell us how this is supposed to be done... When we put Jesus at the center of it, Jesus
says in Matthew, âCome to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you
rest.â If youâre exhausted, hear that message this
morning. âCome to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden,
and I will give you rest.â Thereâs this beautiful illustration in another
one of my favorite films, Contact. If you havenât seen it, with Jodie Foster
and Matthew McConaughey, itâs a great film. And if you havenât seen it, go see it with
no spoilers. Donât read about it, donât watch the trailer. Itâs such a good movie to just go in blind. It deals with science and religion. The main character is a scientist who is also
an atheist but sheâs pursuing the idea of life in outer space and she meets this religious
figureâ Heâs, itâs... You know, he doesnât always behave the way
that I would hope that he would, but itâs a Hollywood film. But... He challenges her on this: âYou donât
believe in God but you believe in this other stuff you also have no evidence of.â And thereâs a moment in this film where
a new, important piece of equipment has to be built. And the ones doing the building are not the
ones who did the designing. And the builders notice that in the original
design, the safety features are apparently not up to code. And so they add a piece to this machine for
safetyâs sake. But when they fire up this new equipment,
something is not working right. And it shakes and shakes and shakes and itâs
terribly uncomfortable to use... ...until the piece that they added, this extra
piece, this extra burden piece for safety, this piece that they added falls off. And then everything works smoothly. When we go and add burdens onto people that
God didnât give them to begin with, we find that things donât work the way that theyâre
supposed to. I challenge peopleâ In Genesis 3, Iâve talked about this before,
but people challenge me that, âWell, in Genesis, the serpent says, âDid
God really say...?â âAnd Justin, thatâs what youâre doing,
youâre questioning the words of God by being an affirming Christian, saying, âDid God
really say...?ââ But if you go and read the passage, what the
serpent says is, âDid God really say... ...that you couldnât eat from
any tree in the Garden?â And the answer to that is âNo!â God didnât say they couldnât eat from
ANY tree in the Garden; God said, âDonât eat from this one tree.â The serpent wasnât questioning the words
of God; the serpent was subtly adding burdens and making God seem unreasonable. âDid God really say you couldnât eat from
ANY tree in the Garden? How unreasonable is God!â When we as a church put extra burdens on folks,
things donât work the way theyâre supposed to. And some of us have spent a lot of years apologizing,
feeling like we have to escape from these burdens on a loophole, but secretly feeling
like if we were stronger and more able to cope, we would be able to fit within the stricter
rules. But Jesus doesnât offer that kind of burden. Jesus says, âI want to take these burdens
off of you.â So if youâve been carrying that burden... As we close, just close your eyes for
just a moment. Whatever burdens youâre carrying, whatever
that tension that is that youâre feeling... The exhaustion... The feeling of not living up... The frustration with the world... The feeling that you have to somehow carry
it all on your shoulders... I want you to hear this morning that God loves
you. That God knows about that thing that you are
frustrated with... That thing that you feel shame about,
whatever it is... God knows about it and God loves you... And God knows your burdens... And God wants to give you rest. Take a deep breath and feel that rest. And as God lifts those burdens off of you,
God says, âLet me take you where I want to send you. âLet me use you. âLet me put people in your path and give you
opportunities to change the world, one person at a time. âAnd you may suffer. âAnd there may be a cost. âBut trust in me, and I will keep renewing
your spirit. âDo justice. âLove mercy. âWalk humbly with your God. âFor my yoke is easy and my burden is light.â Amen. [applause] Thanks for watching. For more,
subscribe on YouTube and visit GeekyJustin.com.
I try not to post too much OC here, but this one felt relevant to a lot of stuff I've seen people talk about lately, so I thought some folks might appreciate it.
I haven't been able to watch the whole video but what I've seen so far really touches my heart! Thanks for this and I'll be finishing it soon!
I've been reading Torn recently and it is giving me a lot of insights! Thank you so much and I will definitely finish the video later!
Oh my gosh, itâs you! I send people links to your great debate, side A argument all the time! It was such a well thought out argument that perfectly expresses everything I want to tell people. So excited to watch this video as soon as I have time later tonight! Thanks for being you and being inspiring!
I still have this talk open in a tab for later, I've gotten through the first quarter so far and I think you do a very good job of describing how a lot of people feel nowadays, myself included. I'm going to watch the rest of it and comment later. I want to give you feedback! Thanks for your work, Justin!
Iâve been reading torn and itâs so insightful. Iâve been recommending it all over this sub lol.
Hey I just wanted to say that everything you do is so appreciated! I love your book torn and I love watching you speeches! Just though you should know lol
Nice video. As a side B, I didnât agree with everything you said but I was still pretty awesome.
Mad props for the Contact reference. I adore that movie.
Well that was refreshing and encouraging, thanks for posting Justin!
I have Torn (and every other affirming book out there) on my shelf and Iâve been terrified to read them because theyâll give me hope. But after listening to that, it may be time. Thanks for sharing!