Christian parents of a gay son: Live Q&A with Greg & Lynn McDonald

welcome everyone to geeky Justin live the only Facebook live show that has been twice nominated for the coveted geeky Justin award for best Facebook live show it still hasn't won stupid greenbook today with me on the show my friends Greg and Lynn MacDonald authors of this book embracing the journey a Christian parent's guide to loving your LGBTQ child this is gonna be a game-changer I have a pre-release copy you can't really see it it's due I'll fix that but anyway there it is that's what it looks like um it is gonna be out actually tomorrow it comes out tomorrow so Greg and Lynn hi welcome to the show thanks for being here thank you so yeah this is I'm really excited to have this conversation let's start with just like a brief version of your story like how did you how did you get here obviously a lot of it is in the book in much more depth but like what's the short version good question oh goodness how did we get here well we you know we we were Christian parents and our child I was gonna ask you to start but we don't okay so we have two children Connie and Brad camis are all this babies our youngest when Greg jr. was 17 we found him out as being gay and when when and I both team you know crisis later in life I was 27 when I was 25 you know we kind of plugged into a very conservative Church and so that was completely incompatible with with our son being gay and so I would tell you that if you do things wrong or we did a bomb offense off then we created for our child a lot of carnage and there's only after years of seeing the damage that we had done in Rouen us and at some point we were losing voice if you will influence in great juniors life that became very very serious about just trying to do with Jesus commands us to do is just to love God and to love our baby certainly her son and and so that kind of put us on a trajectory that sent us down this road of never lose loving Greg duty but his France and so you know much like when you lends a breast cancer survivor and the you that breast cancer and you have cancer also you know a lot of people but they have cancer because that's how it works you have a gay son also NAR phone started ringing but his friends saying hey would you talk to our big friends the child just came out the blah blah and and so we just on a very unintentionally started learning a bunch of families that have LGBT kids and that alternate ending our wrapped up here a few years ago when we decided to form a nonprofit called embracing the journey from the sole reason of building bridges yep exactly the book look at the same here so we formed this nonprofit for the sole reason of simply building bridges between the LGBT to individuals their families in the church even when they see that ads and and that's kind of how we get we're at it was along that journey that about 10 years ago on God really put it on men's heart to write a book I'll let your take about nothing else but yeah I ten years ago God just put this burden on my heart that I need to write the story that he is right which is our journey I am NOT a journalist I don't I'm not a writer at all so it's like how in the world am I going to do that so I so over the period of the ten years God had shown me that and grunting that maybe it wasn't just me writing the story maybe it would be correct now pranks on a writer either so here we are on to nine writers in a write a book so um so that's when we started human contact with an agent who said that maybe you know you might have to have somebody who helps write your story and so that's why it's written the way that it is because it's conversational it was literally taped on an iPad by a writer and then she just wrote it in a story form and and that's how that came to be wasn't something I really desired at first in it was we would always have these July 4th parties up at our home and drop her springs which blows up just a small town and they always had a parade and so it was a really big deal his parade and we invite people to come to it and one of our friends who was there I was telling the story that Asha has been putting this burden on my heart to write this book and yes the question I am sure you want to be faced about and at that particular time I said no I I don't I don't want to be the face of this and and so nothing came to be and then finally this past year year and a half we really decided to do something about it and get the story told so that's how we're here that's what the book came to be yeah I love that the the format of the book is very like you know back and forth very conversational it's you know Greg says well this is what I was doing and then Lynn says and this is what I was doing and Greg says and I saw that Lynn was doing this and that you know and it's it's that really wonderful conversational thing I I read this it almost entirely in one sitting and the only reason it wasn't entirely in one sitting is that I got interrupted so yeah I that I've thoroughly enjoyed this I think people are really gonna love this book it's an easy read and it's very it's it's conversational it's interesting but it's also very relatable people have told me of course I have a book torn that talks about my journey coming out as gay and Christian and that whole struggle and I've had a lot of people say to me that you know torn was a book that they could give to their parents to help their parents understand their journey as the LGBTQ child but also that they could relate to and it feels to me like embracing the journey is sort of the flip of that it's for the kids this is a book that helps us to understand what our parents are going through or have been through and for the parents this is something relatable like other parents have been through this other parents know these feelings what are some of the things that maybe surprised you or were difficult for you on this journey because you've been on this has not been a short journey for you all from the time that that you found out your son was gay until you wrote this book it wasn't like you just sort of immediately jumped out of the of the closet as PFLAG parents or something this was a tough tough journey said like it did yeah oh and I should tell her I should tell our viewers or anybody who listens to this by audio but McDonald's don't have headphones that work with the with computer right now and so when I talk you can't hear them so for anybody who's just listening by audio they weren't saying now it's a this is not an easy thing so I'll shut up and let them talk but yeah tell us what what that was like for you one of the one of the things there's a few things that really stood out I think to us along the way so one was how many parents stories are similar so the book is really kind of a composite of our story our learnings you know what worked well in terms of helping our family be healed what worked well in terms of joining us going great junior to Christ and but it's also a violation of hundreds of Christian parents that we've walked with that we've coached in counseling over the years now and so it's it's really interesting because when you hear these stories from one of them to next just a bunch of common threads that weave them all together and of what works in what does was harmful to relationship glorious and I'd say that's I see one of the biggest findings and the book is littered with that the book has a ton of learnings that are not only ours but a bunch of other families and the other thing was as we started developing more and more relationships with men and women that that are LGBTQ I think the thing that we found just repeatedly is the amount of grace not only but they give us but they can't get our community at large and and sometimes we actually feel guilty by association that you know by the way that the church responds to this conversation right and we haven't done a great job as that his body believers in our estimation I also have a surprised about a lot of things but a couple things that come to my mind right now is I was really surprised when I when Greg and I were invited to a group of lgbtq+ people in their Bible study and to share our story and Greg and I have shared her story a lot with people parents primarily but here we're about I don't know 30 40 LGBTQ people listening and for the first time sorry for the first time I was overwhelmed with shame that there was these group of people in front of me who I had all the answers to and now I'm sharing this story of of how I treated the LGBT community and primarily my son and and it just worked my heart because I just I looked at each one of them and I uh I saw differently for the first time I saw immense creations of God God loves dearly and once you have a relationship with and I mean I remember getting in the car afterwards tonight I was just like oh my gosh I hadn't pologize cuz I was just crying I said I'm sorry I can't tell my story yet and then these this group of people just surrounded me was love and grace and said it's okay you know um and I asked them for perfect forgiveness um for being one of those people who knew the answer for them and they just construe grace and I think the other thing that really was powerful for me is I was confused as a parent whether I thought I had to make the choice love my child more love died that I couldn't do both because if I loved my child then I was turning my back and God and if I love God then I was turning my back of my child and what was a wonderful discovery was that was the greatest commandment to love God and your neighbor how much more how much more your son or daughter regardless it doesn't say except for the gay man except for my transgender son the gossip I mean it doesn't it doesn't say that and there was so much freedom in there it didn't it didn't mean that it made sense to me like oh all of a sudden I understood the biodome you know 150% but what I did yeah was that not only God commanded me to look like my kids that I could freely do that and no I'm okay with both you know what's really interesting about what I was just sharing she said that we read the greatest man so first for most of us Christians we've heard the greatest name many times certainly for me that was no different and inland and what Lynch referred to is you know when well we found ourselves file on their face trying to figure out what's the right thing to do you just really lean and I've got the thing that we often end up doing was we spent a lot of time reading bread letters we spent time in the New Testament reading things that Jesus had to say so specifically we looked at who Jesus was who he was what he had to say how we treat people pretty simple right and and so is we're doing that we come across to get this commandment you know so if you you know think about the audience at the time who's quizzing Jesus they're trying to catch him you know and trap them and they're saying so so teach you what is the greatest man and Jesus well loved your God with all your heart soul mind and strength right and he says and ii like it love your neighbor as yourself well how much more around children right but he doesn't stop there and that's what I always heard I heard that commandment but it always ended that and but he goes on to say he says that all the laws in all the prophets hang on these two commands so for me I looked at that and I say okay it's like there's a hundred question exam right and Jesus is saying get these two things right and you pass yet the other 98 right miss these two Jews walk right and and you gotta remember his audience at the time is speaking to the Jewish people and they tried to keep 613 laws so it wasn't like the Ten Commandments you're trying to keep 613 laws he says all the laws all the prophets hang on these two things and it's that kind of thing that the more we scoured the Bible and just really paid attention to Jesus again who he was who the hell of how he treated people what he had to say then you became very very clear to us about how passionate he is about how we treat other people regardless index so let me ask you a question because I'm I'm seeing some of the the comments come in on the the live feed and lots of folks sharing their sympathy crying faces when when you're crying and if people are really appreciating what you're sharing here one of the comments that's come in is too long for me to put it up on the screen or or read it here but is from somebody who whose story is similar to many other stories that I hear all the time of a broken relationship where the the parents and child are are just not able to to communicate anymore or where the the parents or parent have essentially disowned or cut off contact in some of those cases I know you're talking about that command to love in some of those cases I know those parents may feel that they are being loving by showing tough loves and and not accepting this this thing that they see as sinful what would you say what would you say to those parents but also what would you say to that child who says you know I I don't know how to go forward in this situation because I feel like we're at an impasse one of the things that people have said about our book we seem to hear it all the time for the people who pre read it is that it's a very unvarnished store again and the reason why it is is because many years ago we learned the value of being transparent of being vulnerable and we live in a society where people don't like to be bonneville you know we want to look good we want to you know we all have this image this representation and so on right and so what we know to be true is that there's a lot more that we have in common with our story that other parents have in common as well than them death okay and so when we see one of folks that kind of glom onto the same and they say hey listen this is this link so that meant a very there's people that write great volumes of material about you know interpretation of the Scriptures pertaining homosexuality but just assuming for a moment let's assume that it is a set right well that says a whole bunch of the things our sins right it's so lying stealing it's gossip flattening right like where do you want to go fry idolatry right maybe most of us Americans we got a problem with that one right just to get our arms look at all the stuff that we've made the idols in their life then so as a parent one of the things those when we talk to parents is this decision about things that we wrestle with personal than I respite us and honest with yourself what do you wrestle with there's a father Olympics now for me personally I happen to be an accountability relationship with a different today and for 15 years I've been in three different relationships one in West Michigan one in northern Michigan one in Atlanta with three different men and each of these men I gave permission to ask me tough questions and I asked them specifically checking me every week and asked me these questions about things I struggle with you know after 15 years the questions don't change I mean depends on Russell today I thinks I've lost with 15 years ago and to think that somehow this magically goes by sorry all the time right but the thing I know is that we all have we all have sin in our life so when we your sin and my sin more important than Saudi else's it's very detrimental to any relationship if you've ever had anybody treat their if you've ever had anybody treats you like a a project that never turns out well and that's kind of where that starts to go when parents go down the road to say Johnny I love you but when Jesus say you know well first of all what I would love to tell in that person or those people out there who have that situation going on right now is first of all I'm really sorry about that and it pains me it pains me to think that they're going through that so I wish it was different and we pray that those families will be reconciled secondly I would say give your parents time to process this that you know you've had time to process it yourselves and you you have to recognize that you know you've I've been when I was growing up in and learning about the Bible I I had been instilled what what the Bible said talked about about him about homosexuality and so it it really took me a while to be that I I'm still learning I'm still growing in my faith and that I just remember singing to cry the while a while back but maybe ten years ago I said you know we're gonna have to agree to disagree on this one but I love you and I want to have a relationship with you you know how I feel you know you know I you know how I know how you feel so we'll you know we'll just move on from there I'm not saying that that's where I am today but I I just wanted to instill the importance of allowing time to have your parents figure it out and what it's love one of the things I really appreciate about this book is that you do I mean you can call it embracing the journey and you do deal a lot with this this journey I think so often the advice that we give to parents in these kind of situations is sort of like well here's where you need to get like you need to be okay with this you need to feel this way you need to believe this you need to understand this interpretation of Scripture you need to be you know and you know I know that for me when I came out to my parents there were a lot of things that I want wanted them to agree with me on right away and they didn't get there right away and there were some things that I didn't know if they would ever get there and the question for me and for them was what do we do right now in the midst of this disagreement sometimes very serious disagreement about some big issues do we is there any way for us to continue to have a relationship in the midst of that disagreement and what does that look like and what does that look like in a way that honors them and where they are and that honors also me and you know my humanity and that you know and and and and those are tough questions and I really appreciate that you deal very honestly with the journey you deal very honestly with them mistakes that you made and and things that didn't you know didn't go well you talk about for instance about being afraid to tell people what was going on and how much that impacted you know your own spiritual and emotional journeys on this which is something I know that also happened with my parents that they were afraid to tell people and they didn't and they were afraid for me to tell people and that hurt all of us and so you know you deal with those things you also give a lot of practical advice along the way of like okay you know wherever you end up but also wherever you are at any point on the journey how do you can continue to have relationship and how do you continue to move forward um what I had a question in my head and and and now I have about 10 when I see you all both of you nodding your head so maybe I'll shut up and let you respond to that and then I'll ask you a question now okay well so so well I guess what I want to ask is so what what what does it look like in your eyes to what King what can parents and kids do to continue to maintain relationship as much as is possible in the midst of disagreement and are there and are there limitations to that I mean that's that's always the tough question is that you like is there a time when kids have to you know you know cut the they're their parents out and say I just can't talk to you right now or you know um yeah I have another question but I'll ask that first that's a tough one I know Rosa did I freeze for you I'm sorry it's okay well here let me ask you this first question for this is this is maybe an easier question what is something that you think that kids may not understand about what makes this so difficult for parents because I know for me it was as I was reading this there were moments that I was like that's really helpful to get a sense of like this is something that parents may be dealing with are there specific things that you think maybe kids don't always understand about the parent side of the journey yes in fact one of the things that immediately comes to mind was I feared if I was wrong and what I was taught and believed that about homosexuality what else wasn't true about the Bible or what else did I misunderstood yes scared me and I think that scares a lot of parents you're just um so it really it really stems from fear there is so much fear going on in the time of that parent's life you know a fear for your child getting getting hurt and by some hate crime or disease or disease or any number of things right you know just having as our son you know in the forward some misguided hatred that that you know you never want that for your child and so that's really really scary and so a lot of those things sound from fear but to your other questions and in regards to one of the things that really helped me was a son when he said mom there is much more to my wife than me just being gay if you take a circle and you put it and you make it into Papa pie and everything you know that's a small sliver but I am I am son I'm brother I'm employee you know I'm a citizen there was so much more that he was saying that allowed me to see I didn't I was just focusing on that little sliver and that I could focus in on so much more and that's what I would encourage kids to maybe tell their parents and uni never really on it and like the parents coming to agreement on it but you can still have a relationship and and just see where it goes from there I mean obviously prayer is a very important part of this just when we morning the book embraced in the journey I'm pretty greater than 17 on ministries called embracing the journey but when we did it were very specific and that is because we encountered parents every week and hear from folks all around the country and something that that happens so this was like 98 percent of the time the first one people call us normally during a free fall but seldom do they call to talk about the letter now we normally when they're and they call they're hemorrhaging and they're hurting they don't know how to deal with it they love their child they don't know how do you spine yeah in one of its it's it's it's an anomaly that happens and that is that when kids come out of the closet most apparent in clause and and while in the closet you know we go there for different reasons right but I - clearly what Lynn was talking about earlier and she said you know I flew four kids to give your parents place to come sometime so for most of all most people who are LGBTQ they've been processing that those feelings and everything deals with that for many many years and by the time they finally come out to their parents it's possibly the toughest thing I'll ever do in their life right so this is a big deal for the parents they get they get caught flat-footed it it's like a death drop in empty that's loading and laughs no carrots whoa whoa what I do with this right and so in interesting life and we see this all the time as well and that is entrenched in the news that their child is gay they head down this highlight eventually it's also in the closet by the way they don't go into it they just prolong the pain human is never comes and in the angular builds and he said you know too many minutes that stay in the closet for many weeks some for many months and some for years and it's it's tragic when this baby because nothing that's here but at some point when you get out of the closet they head down the highway and you took four from the boys and that floor has two very distinct highways and one highway says Johnny we talked to you when you were young board the decisions have consequences and this is a bad choice you're making it's a really bad choice to live point there's a plans there's disease on you know here to be discriminated against there's a lot of bad things that are not a little bit south it's gonna be a tough wife feeling you know by the way Johnny you're messing up my good you're messing up my life my good my reputation and I've worked hard for this reputation right when you messin up me yeah yeah and as long as parents go down their game that road also has a very distinct outcomes you know your father if another had when the parents reached the score from you and they picked the other direction that direction says wait a sec we're safe Danny are you saying that this wasn't a choice yours that this is something that you're saying God made you like this you were always like this so even if I don't believe but God made you like that it's a super moment that that he's allowed to be like that in which case then my response becomes Oh Johnny war was a lightening up in our house Johnny or was a white process in August by yourself John how can I help and and so those those two avenues have very distinct outcomes and and again it this isn't about from our perspective it's not about is it centered isn't it set this is about following not jesus' recommendations that his suggestions his commandments to love one another to love our God and when we do really good things follow it's not an easy way to still a rough road there's still plenty to unpack there's plenty to learn on both sides on but it's it's it's a temperature and that's why we call it embracing the journey because our tendency we all know this our tendency is when storms of life come our way we normally don't rubber hands together go oh great this is a really bad storm I think we're gonna learn something like we don't do that what else do you know it's funny because our church yeah we there's a saying that goes on it but you know in regards to sin versus not a sin because if that is so contentious right there it's like it's hard to have a conversation when both sides are so passionate about you know they're your stance and so for us the there's a sticker on the back of our car and it shows what does love require of fish so I always try to encourage parents what does love require of you right now with your child what does that look like and taught when we talk about it what's the one thing that they can do the love their child well do our actions make our children take one step closer to Christ idea accidents tilt them away from constantly there's no doubt I put a Bible preaching month I mean I pushed for achievement away completely and now I'm looking at him and by loving hearing and the people he loves in life he actually finds his faith as well Wow what I just had this wrong but you know it's a it's a step at a time i'ma tell LGBT two plus children are individual it's just a step at a time and you know so much of it is is you know what we've been doing this early ain't known for 17 years so there wasn't a whole lot back then if you can imagine around no books to read there was no trust in me and believe it's boring so yeah I we always get educated I I want to give some of our viewers a chance to ask their questions and as people are doing that I want to say you know it's a couple of things one is that I think both you and I wrote the books that we wished we'd had when we were going through this but one of the things I really appreciate about your book is that you you talk about this question of sin and you know is it a sin is it not a sin whatever you know and and the it the question of like what it is varies based on the child's you know we're talking about a gay child bisexual child's a transgender child you know but in the book the advice that you give in the journey that you talk about is a journey that does not depend on the parents coming to a particular conclusion you don't even say in the book where you ended up on some of these scriptural questions you talk about the the wrestling but this is not a book that says here's the answer we came to and this book is only helpful to you if you come to the answer we came to and here's what it is it it you you really do talk about this idea of love your child whatever weather you know wherever you are on some of these passages and already there are some some of the comments that have come in touch on that and on the the the the importance of that journey Ron Goodman says having walked with the McDonald's during part of this journey I know they have genuinely sought God's truth and guidance and are powerfully ministering to many people as a result of what God has taught them about loving their son and Beth really likes when you said when kids come out of the closet most parents go into the closet but one of the questions that that came in that I want to ask you is is this one did you lose friends over accepting your son for who he is we know when you say okay you know what whatever conclusions you have on the Bible our son is gay we're gonna we're gonna love him as our gay son we're gonna love his friends and you know the the the the LGBTQ people around him did you lose friends for doing that you know I wouldn't say it was actually a loss of friends I think what when I think of that I think of it is they they didn't know what to say they didn't know what to do so a lot did nothing so they just sort of pushed away didn't spend as much time with us there were a few incidents that you know they wouldn't hug our son anymore when before leaving he was gay they would hug them it was just uh it was a difficult time it was a very difficult time right then because you know as I look back now I give them grace because they they just didn't know how how to support us in in that time of lien and there were a few that that did it good but not you know I don't know I didn't even know I didn't even know what we needed um I think we just wanted someone to say you know hey I don't have the answers to this but I love you I love your son and we're in it together okay we're just gonna walk this with you and and so that that was hard it's it's a it's a rarity when people do that but it's something that I think every parent longs for and yeah there were some casualties with some close friends and some family members distance definitely and it wasn't like people just walked away but when when you as a parent see your child being shunned or can be held at arm's length it's very common to just stop calling stop coming around you just see less and less of those people so yeah there was some casualties but I would say what the suicide and that is we met so many incredible people I mean God has blessed us beyond our wildest dreams with incredible people and relationships all around the country with fabulous people and with people just like us that didn't sign up for this any more than our kids signed up for right yeah we've got a comment from Stan who says my mom lost friends when she accepted me so tragic and and shares the willingness of people to elevate their interpretations of Scripture to deity over the law of love you know and I would say I think even again regardless of your interpretation of Scripture on on some of these questions you talk about that pie and the idea that you know being gay or bi or trans or queer is like you know a tiny slice of somebody's whole life and then I would say even only is being gay a tiny slice of my life but even like for somebody who is gay for instance the sex questions that are really what those Bible passages talk about are a tiny slice of what it means for somebody to be gay you know I always think it's you know if people stopped and thought about it how strange would it be if when we met straight married couples we spent most of our time talking to them about their sex lives I mean I mean certainly we we assume that married couples are you know are sexually intimate but that's not what makes a marriage it's not what's you know what marriage is about you know and so and and being you know a heterosexual person is not just about getting married you know like there's so many things about how you relate to people that are affected by that so we've got a comment from Sandy who says as mom of a gay son I have gained so much more than I have lost it sounds like that's been true for you all as well I I would not want to be the person I was when I first found out okay neither one of us yeah I I was the I was the Christian who had all the right answers but I just I really believe I had the answers to most every thought pretty arrogant and and when problems will arise everything seemed to fit in neat little tiny boxes for me and it wasn't until there's something much bigger than me sometimes way above my bakery where I started to realize that you know what and that is that is just not true no that's true yeah and it's been super freeing to not feel like I need to have all the answers so Logan has a question and we've touched on this a bit already but I want to give you a chance to respond to this any advice for lgbtq+ kids of fundamental Christian parents who aren't accepting is there is there something that that the kids in that situation can do to have the best a chance of understanding their parents or helping the conversation move forward or what would you recommend well there are you know I mean honestly you know they have a book but there's also lots of I'm just gonna keep holding it up every time it comes up I'm just gonna keep holding it up so I continue but you know there's great blogs out there that you know people are having a conversation about that you can you know learn from I mean I know every basically just you could go to let to online and and just you know I googled it the other day and I came across like a hundred different ones that would fit in practically any category from being Protestant to Catholic so people are having that conversation you know there are oh maybe your share no go ahead well you know I would say the first thing that comes to my mind is is first of all safety it's really important if you know whether your character fundamentals for otherwise that's Kenny incidental but it's picking safe people in your life to share with is important it's important for the children it's equally as important for the parents and because there are people and so it was you know we we tell people we've dedicated son and I don't know why but it seems as though it's amazing how many people immediately give you their stance on okay thank you try being the gay son that happens to us as well so safety is important you know our ministry is really focused at conservative Christian parents without LGBTQ kids and that's very intentional because it's the most conservative Christian parents who have the greatest amount of rejection for their child and Justin as you know we know for kids that I rejected either by their families or the church you know the incidence of suicide grows dramatically like eight times eight hundred percent higher suicide self harm what have you and so that's kind of the thing that we focus on are those who are most marginalized by this and most fruit by it and so part of our ministry by the way is if your child and your parents are rejecting and don't want to talk you can go to our website you'll find a quick five minute clip of Greg and Lynch Tori if you liked it share with your parents just a hey these are some friends of ours and we thought you might be interested in listening to their story we talked to parents around the country apparently kids refers counselling for us we talk to people all over the place on a regular basis and we're happy to do that that's that's that's why our ministry exists we just reached a point where and I'm sure you can relate to this as well it's really difficult when any of us see somebody being harmed and it's especially difficult if that person helps them it happens to be marginalized but when the person is marginalized they're being harmed and it's in the name of God it's like oh it just it just gets stuck right here yeah and actually our pastor Andy Stanley asked a question now about four years ago and it was in a sermon series and the series concluded with asking him s than this question what breaks your heart and we're in a small group and we both looked at each other we said oh my gosh it's LGBTQ community that's it again it was much later when we made this our full-time deal of just trying to have a nice and North Mike does have a group called parents connect and where they have a group of people with LGBT kids and we meet I think it's probably over 100 people now and certainly we could put you in touch with the person that first name is Amy and I'm sure she'd be happy to talk with the parents or the kids and and I just thought oh so I was thinking mother Teresa I was raised Catholic and now I'm going to front of some church but Mother Teresa said at a prayer breakfast one time she said done breathe her you know about abortion bringing the babies to me and I say okay as McMahon and mcdead bring the LGBT kids to us okay we'll love them in the meantime as they reconcile with their parents we would be happy to be there for them so we've been nicknamed the mom and the dad by unfortunately way too many LGBT kids who've been rejected or put out or kicked out of their homes and they're looking for a surrogate parent and so we try to stand in that gap but you know there's also there's fabulous unfortunately not not because you don't want to be look mom and mcdead but unfortunately because they don't have support from their own parents but there's also a number of great online groups and you can find some of those on their website but there's a bunch and if you have questions about them don't hesitate to call us write us it's their safe or not safe we'll be happy to help you try to find the right thing into but don't go too long and whether your child only the parent to walk this journey on your own it's not wise you know the reality is this if we've been down this highway before and we know that bridges I had up ahead we can wave caution flag and say slow down good job you still have the ability to try to speed up a jump it won't slow down yeah but the point is having someone walk with you is very important so we're getting towards the end of our time I want to give you a chance to talk about your ministry and and like let people know how to get in touch with you read your book and everything but there's at least one more question that I that I just wanted to pop up here if I can find it in my list of questions okay yeah so Michael wants to know how do you recommend approaching the topic with his parents he says I can't think of how to begin my father has been a pastor in a very fundamental conservative Church for 40 years I don't want to make it harder for my parents but I can't imagine them changing their minds and accepting me you found out in a less than ideal way that your son was gay do you have suggestions for for for kids who want to come out to their parents or maybe maybe the parents already know but wanna like start this conversation yes one of the one of the things that I would suggest is you need to make sure you're prepared for the answer it might not be what you want and so if that's the case I would say maybe you need to wait until you are prepared to hear their answer but there are actually parents that we've worked with too that it's amazing I think I think the the kids would be surprised that their parents may not understand yeah but they all immediately say I love you and you know I don't understand this but I will always love you so I would just again just before you go down that road make sure you're prepared because there have been parents who do not respond well and you know sometimes you can just sort of test it out a bit you know your parents better than than we do and and know whether or not that would be a healthy conversation also you can have conversations with other people who have at those conversations and see how that has worked for them but I think honesty is always the best policy and you know it is it will you know they they just will part of our figuring out part of our ministry is helping to make people so for instance like anime and a little sock about parent American North Point it's a fabulous ministry that helps countless parents and their kids but we get calls from Seattle to Portland and everywhere in between yeah minister to a number of pastors that you know they've received that news than they're not a hand with pastors especially in a tough place because not only is that the reputation in any case it means their their light of it and so and that's not fair either but that's reality other so I agree and I think safety is always first but I honesty is right there I've been to carry a burden on by yourself is it's it's not good for you it's actually physically mentally or spiritually I wish I did not have to wrap this up because this is so good and hopefully we can have another conversation soon and I I just I'm so appreciative of you all for your ministry for your compassion your your love and grace in the midst of disagreement which is something that anyone who has followed me noses like a really big deal to me and and your book embracing the journey a Christian parents guide to loving your LGBTQ child which is out tomorrow it is out tomorrow so tell folks how they can get embracing the journey a Christian parent's guide to loving your LGBTQ child and how they can get in touch with you all because I'm sure people have lots more questions go to your favorite book so it's online or literally down the street but it's available everywhere in the phone yeah Barnes and Noble and yeah yeah so it's it's available now by morning and in terms of contacting us you can you can find us online at www.oneonone.org or we just love your spirit well likewise likewise I love you guys and I can tell you're getting a lot of love from the Facebook viewers here and this this episode is gonna go up on on YouTube after this so if folks had trouble streaming it or whatever I know sometimes that happens it'll be up on on YouTube and I know you'll get love there but I just want to encourage everybody whether you are an LGBTQ person or whether you are the parent of an LGBTQ person or whether you just care about this and think that you might know somebody who could use this this is a phenomenal book it's been endorsed both in terms of like formally and informally by a bunch of people who from different perspectives who've all been really touched by this so I can't say enough good things about it embracing the journey a Christian parents guide to loving your LGBTQ child out tomorrow embracing the journey org you said is your ministry and I I want to close with a quotes I haven't done that before tonight I want to close with a quote but first I just want to say thank you again to Greg and Lynn MacDonald for being here thanks guys and thanks to everybody for for tuning in you can search the entire geeky justin live archive that I'm building up along with blog posts and articles and resources at geeky justin.com that's GE e KY Justin jus T I am calm you can be notified of new videos by subscribing at youtube.com slash geeky Justin and if you want to participate in the future and ask your questions live as the folks who are watching this live right now know you can follow me on Facebook at facebook.com slash geeky justin geeky justin live is brought to you by i have to mention this my patreon patrons thank you especially to gold star patrons Liz Tom Carol Bruce John Larry and Terry and all the other patrons who make this possible you all rock if you're not yet a patron go to geeky Justin comm slash patreon to learn how to become one and you can gain instant access to bonus content and other perks that's the little you know pitch I got to put in there but now in honor of our guests and their book I want to leave you with this quote from another Christian author who was one of my very favorites growing up Madeleine L'Engle who wrote this we do not draw people to Christ by loudly discrediting what they believe by telling them how wrong they are and how right we are but by showing them a light that is so lovely that they want with all their hearts to know the source of it so I want to say thanks Greg and Lynn for shining your lights in such a compelling and wonderful way thanks have a one a week everyone and be excellent to each other and don't forget the nuance good night

Channel: GeekyJustin

Views: 2,954

Rating: 4.7272725 out of 5

Keywords: Greg McDonald, Lynn McDonald, Justin Lee, GeekyJustin, Facebook Live, Christian, parents, gay, son, daughter, lgbt, lgbtq

Id: joosabs9LjQ

Length: 59min 51sec (3591 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 05 2019