8 Keys to Overcoming Your Procrastination | Impact Theory Q&A

[Music] hey everyone this episode is brought to you by our sponsor betterhelp an online counseling company with the mission to make professional counseling accessible affordable and convenient i hope you enjoy hey everybody welcome to another episode of impact theory you are here with me today i'm going to be answering your questions and we're going to be talking all about procrastination actually doing something with all of your potential turning into real skills and then deploying that into the real world that is my obsession and that is what we're going to be focused on today so without further ado here we go the first question is up hi tom my name is paul i'm a bodyguard i work in the security business and i actually encountered you for the first time because i worked an event two years ago in universal city in which you spoke so that was a good day at work my dream is uh the film and television businesses so in my spare time i've been writing screenplays and a graphic novel manuscript the trouble that i have is my work schedule can can vary radically week to week so sometimes i'm doing overnight sometimes i'm working early mornings and it's never quite the same it can be a challenge to get enough sleep to exercise maintain my health maintain my relationship with my wife and that constant circadian rhythm disruption is expensive so my questions are what strategies would you suggest to maximize my hustle time and and what should i tell myself when i have pages to do but all i want is to take a nap thanks tom all right so you are in a world that i think everybody can relate to in terms of there's often a competing goal in terms of what you want in the short term versus what you want in the long term and one of the coolest quotes i've ever heard in my life is don't sell out what you want most for what you want right now and i think that is a quote to live by right there so that's the big one is really making sure that you are focused and excited about what it is that you want long term and even just having a phrase that you can say to yourself about what it is that you want most i think would be hugely beneficial so often people don't have that level of clarity so when we're talking about procrastination just the raw desire to actually see something through to the end is going to be critically important now the rest of what we're talking about is very mechanistic but i want to go through it so first of all anything that's disrupting the rhythm of your day is going to be wildly problematic i will answer the question assuming that there's just absolutely nothing you can do about that but i want to sneak in a quick little answer for anybody else that finds themselves in a similar situation if there's any way for you to get out of the situation where you are constantly having the rhythm of your day disrupted i highly encourage it so we're about to go through how you can regiment the chaos but first and foremost would be to not find yourself in the chaos to begin with and that really does matter in terms of when i think about my own life and trying to be as deadly efficient with every single moment that i have eliminating disruptions is a big one okay now assuming that you can't eliminate the disruptions then you're going to need to start building some rules into your life so that any moment where you have let's say that rule might be if i have any consecutive three minutes where i know three minutes are available then i'm going to immediately do x now that x might be journaling so you keep um something like evernote on your phone and you have a topic pre-ordained something you already know that you're going to do and whenever you have a gap because look some gaps just aren't going to be worth it so if i had a 90 second gap i may not fuss with it it's going to take 20 seconds just to get your phone out and get the app open and have it refresh and all of that but if you're really hardcore and you say anytime where i have a three minute stretch then i'm going to make sure that i immediately begin doing something that's productive a big part of making limited windows like that productive is the following so first and foremost is having an important things list and by having that important things list you're going to be able to immediately slide into knowing exactly what you should be doing so that you don't spend the three minutes just trying to figure out what it is that you're going to do so you're going to have that important things list you're going to know exactly what you should be doing you're going to build in some minimum amount of time where you say anytime i have this amount of time or more i'm immediately going to dive into one of the things on my important things list now important things list shouldn't all be just these gargantuan things that require hours and hours of time you want to make sure that you have things that you can do that are long you want to make sure that you have some things that are medium and you want to make sure that you have some things that are short and when you have that now you can begin sliding into those some of what you may be doing in the short maybe researching something learning more about so you're talking a lot about film and tv so i can just tell you right now that i have a youtube playlist which i also curate ahead of time so anytime i've got a brief window it's what i call transitional moments where i immediately pick up my phone take it out go into let's say screenwriting boom i've already got 20 videos that are just going to auto play so i only have to select the next one curate it on that playlist boom i started going and now i'm researching another thing that i can do in very limited windows of time is i have specific stories that i'm going to be journaling on and i might journal for a minute i might journal for an hour depending on how much time i have but every second that i spend working on that i'm able to eke a little bit more productivity out of it so that's huge you're going to need to make sure that you get sleep that's going to be really critical and then you need to prioritize things in your life you mentioned your wife so for me my wife is number one now not in terms of time allocation but in terms of importance so when i know that there's any friction there i'm gonna deal with that first when there's um you know i need to capture joy or something to really reaffirm the relationship and make sure that it is this beacon of joy and hope in my life i'm gonna do that so putting your your um values in life in ranked order is going to be critically important to you all right in a nutshell that's the strategy that i would use i hope that helps report back i think that you will find that having those things pre-ordained so that you can at a moment's notice slip into productivity is really going to serve you all right next hi tom thank you for the opportunity to ask a question my name is masha and my question has to do with the beginning of work week it's mondays and sometimes tuesday for me where i seem to lose a lot of momentum over the weekend uh the fact is i do have three small children and i spend a lot of time with them on the weekends so comes monday sometimes struggle with getting back in the groove and of course if we lose mondays that's 20 of the whole work week so it seems seems a bit excessive to lose 20 percent of productivity just based on the fact that weekends might interfere with our workflow so would you have any recommendations as to how to combat that um so any tips would be wonderful thank you okay all right so i love that you've already got your finger on the fact that if you're letting a monday slip away or what most people do which is let a friday and a monday slip away so friday they're sliding into party mode and then monday sort of recovery mode now you're losing two-fifths of the entire week so the fact that you're already aware of what's at stake here is really um exciting and certainly encouraging the big thing and this is why i always tell people there need to be two things true about the goals you're trying to accomplish one they need to be honorable and two they need to be exciting so we'll set honorable aside for a second and just focus on being just absolutely committed out of enthusiasm to accomplishing your goal and this has been one of the things that's propelled me the most in my career is that i legitimately am excited about the thing that i'm trying to build and because i value myself for the sincere pursuit of this thing that is both exciting to me and honorable in that it's you know going to lift people up if i actually accomplish it and i'm holding myself accountable to actual results but the game the game which is the right way to think about it the game of trying to turn my potential into usable skills that can do something tangible in the world to make that goal that's exciting and honorable come true because all of that game is predicated on making sure that i love the time in the field that i'm leaving everything out on the field and i value myself for that i don't value myself for accomplishing it but i value myself for actually trying to pursue it so now you can imagine i'm saying this stuff to myself all the time so the weekends are fun and i do wife-oriented things and i'm doing like in your case i would be doing the things that are oriented around my kids and i would love it and i would have work shut off in my mind and i wouldn't be trying to work double duty on the weekends i would be with my kids and then on during the week i'm going to be focused on that goal that i want to be focused on now here is the catch if your value system is such that family time is far more important and exciting to you than work time you may want to reevaluate your goals because it may be that you're trying to convince yourself to pursue something monday through friday that actually doesn't resonate with you now if that's true you've got a couple different options you can either find a way to make the stuff that you want to do with your family for your family that skill set you can find a way to make that a big part of your monday through friday so that it feels like more of a continuation of the week it may not be play time and i get it everybody has to eat and pay your bills and so you're going to have to find something to monetize but there are often things what i call universe of so if family time quality time with your kids that's a skill set that you want to be extraordinary at what's a way where you could be in the universe of that skill set those things during the week so that you saw a direct correlation between what you do during the week and then that thing that really matters to you which is your family time on the weekend so it could be pursuing a degree in psychology it could be working at a daycare it could be teaching you know i don't know in what way that to you is sort of the deep passion but that's another way to approach this there's no right or wrong goal there is only a goal that is both exciting and honorable and gets you amped on monday so that the way you're pursuing it through the week is exciting to you and you don't feel like you're living for the weekend and that's where people are often falling apart is there monday through friday is a should thing it's i should want this i should pursue this instead of being a continuation of just the things in life that they love and the way that i've tried to structure my life is such that on the weekend other than spending time with my wife the most exciting thing that i can think of to do are the fun parts of my monday through friday that's how much i enjoy what i'm pursuing and what i'm trying to build is that sure there's overhead look i will say that my work life is comprised of 60 overhead meaning things i don't want to do and 40 things i do want to do but those that 40 is so much fun and the 60 serves that 40 so well that on the weekend i can pull from that 40 and and just be energized and feel wildly enthusiastic that it's the best way that i could spend my totally free time and that is a sign that you've got things aligned so that would be my encouragement if you find yourself having a hard time revving back up it tells me that you've figured something out on the weekends that you haven't yet figured out during the week find a way to align them all right next up hey tom it's kevin um i'm from san jose california and i'm currently a student or a senior in high school to be more specific and my question for you is how do i turn something that i want to do or that you know i'm aspiring to do into something that i don't really have a choice to do or something that i need to do and i'm wondering how i'd be able to turn for example if i wanted to wake up early in the morning it's a lot easier for me to do that if i know i have this class in the morning or whatever and if i don't really have a choice to do it in my mind it's a million times easier to do that thing versus if i have a choice or if you know it's yeah i i should do it but i don't need to it's a lot easier for me not to do it so my question is how do i turn that want into a need thanks man and hopefully this can make into the video thanks all right so you made it into the video here we go turning a want into a crushing need is one of the most useful processes that you can master and when you understand that we don't get what we want but we get what we need then you begin to understand okay this is something i want to learn how to line up so i want to take this thing that i want and isn't it need it really is just a want and i want to figure out the process of how i increase its level of importance in my mind so one of the most important things to understand about the human brain is that the the brain the conscious mind will work backwards to justify what it's done so the the human brain is absolutely fascinating and it has a mechanism so i talk about this thing called the physics of being human like what does the brain just do in and of itself and one of the things that the brain does in and of itself always and forever is it will justify what happens there's this amazing thing a study that was done on people that have short-term memory loss so that they cannot form new memories they they have brain damage that makes it impossible for them to form new memories so a doctor will go in they will have a pin on their hand they will shake hands with the person it pokes them person jerks their hand back now remember they cannot form new memories so that doctor jabs them and they're in pain they pull their hand away the doctor comes back five minutes later the person does not remember meeting them at all but they still won't shake their hand now when you ask them oh why won't you shake my hand they will make [ __ ] up and they'll be like well um i've just always had this problem with shaking people's hands that are wearing white lab coats which is total [ __ ] five minutes ago they were more than happy to shake that person's hand so that is the conscious mind needing to make sense of what's going on in the subconscious mind because the way that memories are stored are very different so you have the implicit and the explicit memory so you've got something that's happening consciously and subconsciously so the short-term memory is not turned into long-term memory and so they don't remember why they're doing this thing but the part of the memory that's working based around the pain and knowing what causes pain stimulus realizes that this person generates pain but the subconscious speaks in emotion it doesn't speak in language and so the rational logical mind tries to then make sense of what is going on so we're going to hijack that to work for us here in this example where we want to get hyped up about something but we want it to be real so we know that the mind is doing this and yes we're totally hacking the mind yes we're playing a bit of a game with ourselves but it ends up having this incredible impact so what i do is i embody the passion that i want to feel so like i'm doing now you can imagine if you're sitting in a room with me i would probably be speaking much more subdued but because i understand that the passion that i'm feeling is infectious to other people that if i can embody it then i can get other people to feel it as well now the crazy thing is is it works in a loop and i actually begin to feel that the response that i'm having is the right amplitude so even if i'm merely consciously turning the dial of excitement up or whatever about the goal that we have because i know that i want to spring out of bed in the morning i'm going to dial that up and say this thing that i'm working towards it isn't a want this is a need i've got to have this and this is why i have to have it and i'm going to create some logic that really means something to me and i'll give you an example at quest to show up every day and to fight that hard to learn manufacturing to spend my time repairing equipment it was [ __ ] crazy and there were times it was so frustrating and i knew for me to do something i didn't want to do that i was going to have to leverage that notion so i said going into it how do i attach to building a nutrition company to something that i care intrinsically about deeply about and that thing became my mom and my sister and so i said okay this is really powerful because i can show up every day and fight for my mom and my sister so how do i associate my mom and my sister to a nutrition company and the answer was very simple my mom and my sister were morbidly obese and i wanted to help make food that they could choose based on taste and it happened to be good for them and if i could do that that they would be in my life longer they would live longer healthier lives they would feel better so when a piece of equipment broke down or i was dealing with something incredibly frustrating or i was working insane hours it was just hey i'm doing this for my mom and my sister and i would embody that and i would tell people that i would feel it i would get amped up the way that i'm doing right now i would literally say things like this like a crazed man and it began to infuse so that over time six months 12 months it was like i really felt like this was a crusade for my mom and my sister and that is so powerful the ability to take something that you care deeply about marry it to a goal that you care about so that you have this emotional resonance with that thing is very very powerful so that's the brain hack that you're going to use to get yourself super excited all right there it is next up my name is nils macquarie and i live in san miguel de la mexico and i'm a camera coach i help people not just feel confident on camera but to be interesting and engaging when they're working with their audience the trouble is a lot of us are working social media and we literally get sucked into the exact type of content that we create so you could be uploading a video and you're about to upload it and then you see something interesting and lose a half an hour and then think what was i doing oh yeah i was gonna upload a video so what's your recommendation to someone who has to work around social media to make sure they stay on the content creation side and don't get sucked into the consumer side would love your thoughts on that all right here we go there's two things that are going to help you out number one rules i don't think people understand the power of rules where you have rules in your life and you abide by those rules so if you know that consuming content is going to be a problem for you then we're going to want to make sure that we limit that that we say that we have a rule around the amount of consumption that we do and or that we say i don't consume content between these hours and i allow myself to consume content during these hours so maybe you allow yourself to consume content only the last hour before you go to bed or if that spikes your anxiety some other period in the day but you confine it to a very limited period and that is extremely beneficial have the rule stick to the rule the other part is to audit your time now this is where we get into reward and punishment so you have to be able to reward yourself when you stick to your rules when you make good use of your time and you need to be able to punish yourself emotionally let's not get uh out of control here and i will bring all the baggage of all i've talked so much about this 20 of your time is punishment 80 is rewarding yourself as being good to yourself focusing on the good the beautiful the light energy never let you let yourself spend more than 20 of your time in the dark energy but it is very powerful and people that fail to leverage the dark side of the force um will never achieve what somebody who can leverage both things can achieve but you have to be very very careful it's a corrosive energy um it will make you feel like [ __ ] if you overplay that hand so you have to be very very careful now having said that you're going to have to get good at this so that when you're abiding by your rules and you do the audit and you realize whoa i've really killed it i've made good use of this time i've actually made progress right so we don't want to just reward ourselves for our intention we want to reward ourselves for whether or not we actually made progress and if we're making progress then we're going to feel really good about that and if we're not making progress but we really did give it our all we're going to feel good about that as well because ultimately we value ourselves for the sincere pursuit but you look at that and you say did i sincerely pursue this yes did i get the actual desired outcome let's say no cool then i'm going to formulate a new hypothesis and i'm going to try something new if we realize in the audit we actually didn't make good use of that time we're not going to hide from that we're going to own it and we're going to make adjustments just the way that we would if we realized that we didn't get the outcome that we wanted we're going to make adjustments so one of the most important rules that i've ever had in my life is getting out of bed in 10 minutes or less and the way that i would celebrate myself very simple stuff if i got out of bed in 10 minutes or less i was like man you said you were going to do it and you did it that's exactly how i would talk to myself and i would just really feel good about that and i would encourage that myself like hey man you said you were going to do it here we go get some momentum go do your thing i would start doing it something that was you know goal pursuit is honorable and exciting so now i'm doing something i'm excited about i'm doing something i really believe in and i am doing it precisely because i got out of bed when i said i was going to get out of bed and then if i audit that and i didn't let's say that i got out of bed in 10 minutes and 30 seconds and i would go to my wife and i'd say look i need to confess i didn't get out of bed in 10 minutes or less i got out in the 11th minute or i got out in 12 minutes you know whatever the case may be i remember there were times where like right before i was about to get out of bed i would just get lost in a train of thought and i would end up laying in bed for far too long and i would tell her hey i ended up laying in bed for you know six or seven extra minutes now that may seem ridiculous but i used to lay in bed for four and five hours a day so that was an absolute game changer for me so rules and audit rules and audit reward and punish you do that and you will be well on your way next up hey tom this is ali from morgan hill california i'm really struggling to commit any time to reading i started the year with a goal to read at least 12 books and so far i only achieved four i fully believe that knowledge is power and i need to read and educate myself to achieve my goals but despite that i keep procrastinating my reading time uh if you have any advice i uh i would really appreciate it thank you all right man we are now into my absolute obsession which is skills have utility the only reason to read those books is because on the other side of that is usable skill set there's something that you want to build there's something that you want to create there's something you want to be able to do there's people you want to be able to outperform there's something that you want to accomplish that requires you to read those books now once you have that and once you've embodied that enthusiasm and taken that want from a want to a need now all of a sudden it's like you couldn't stop me from reading that book because i know by reading that book and really using what's in it i'm going to be able to do something i couldn't do before reading that book skills have utility okay so the idea is just to get obsessed with what it is that you want to create and then it's are you reading the books that give you the ability to go and create that it's what i call the only belief that matters once you believe that time and energy put into gaining a skill set actually brings you improved skill set then of course you're going to pour yourself into doing that so one of two things is true for you reading may trigger your insecurities and you feel like i'm so [ __ ] dumb i'm reading this book i have to read the same page over and over and over what is wrong with me i'm never going to get through this and so you get this negative loop going in your head so every time you pick up a book it's you having to stare nakedly at your inadequacies you're having to deal with that negative [ __ ] voice in your head that's telling you that you're not good enough and so reading is some flashback to all of these insecurities that you almost certainly developed in childhood and so it's like oh god i don't want to face that or it's there's not actually anything that you're really that excited about and you're kind of picking books at random and it's like people told you that you should read it and they said it's kind of cool and so you're reading the book because you think that you should and you have this goal all of those things are going to send you into a death spiral so one focus on the only belief that matters to believe to the core of your being that the average human being is designed to learn and grow okay then it's what do we point that learning and growing app because we know we're going to be able to do it maybe some people do it more easily than you what the [ __ ] does that matter absolutely nothing because most people won't apply themselves and then if you think of yourself as valuable not for being smart being good being worthy reading fast getting better than other people and instead you think of it as i want to sincerely pursue something that matters to me and i'm going to reward myself for spending time reading that book and it's okay if i'm uh not a fast reader it's okay if i learn more slowly than other people on a long enough timeline i really can learn this stuff i really can get better and i really can influence the real world and i want to influence the real world because of this goal that i'm trying to achieve and this goal really matters to me it's exciting it's honorable and i'm going to give it my everything if you do that then you will find yourself wanting those books coveting it and people won't be able to tear you away so there it is all right who's up next hello my name is peter sauror i am from california from the city of altadena and my question to you tom in regards to procrastination is i have been unemployed for close to a year it'll be a year in february um and i thought i would actually get up on my feet within a few months and start working on my youtube channel i just got certified to be a personal trainer so i thought it would just happen right away it hasn't and maybe i'm not trying hard enough and i feel like i can do more or i can try to do um virtual workouts or just you know upload content however i'm finding myself daily stuck in bed and not being able to get up early getting out at 12 feeling sorry for myself it's been really really tough i don't know how to beat this procrastination that um it has me feeling stagnant paralyzed i don't know what my next move will be so if i can please get your help and what i should do next or how to take action i really need your help and i really appreciate it thank you so much all right few things kill productivity and inspire procrastination more aggressively than issues of insecurity a lack of self-worth and this goes back to what we were talking about in terms of the only belief that matters a huge breakthrough for me was realizing that i was not special i was not smarter than most people i wasn't more worthy i was average i was hopelessly average now that may sound negative but what it did was it let me off the hook and once i no longer needed to protect this notion of um i am who i am i was born a certain way and all of my value in life is around walling that off and making sure that the way that i was born makes me proud of who i am and makes me successful in the real world and when i let go of that and realize oh wait i'm playing the wrong game the game i should be playing is how good can i get so instead of being something it's about becoming something and by needing to believe that i could be something better than other people or i could become something faster than other people that was also a dangerous game i just needed to know i'm the average human now that doesn't mean that i don't want to beat people i don't want to be better than and i know that's very controversial for people and that is a discussion for another day i will [ __ ] put chips on the fact that if you're not prepared to compete you've got a whole nother problem but we'll set that aside for now since i know i just raised some people's hackles um and i will say that for now what you want to focus on is you're hopelessly average amazing and now it's about recognizing that the average human being is designed to learn and grow and to get better and so now it's a question of how do we put enough time and energy into something to actually get better at that thing and that really is the key that we want to focus on so shifting away from um being something stepping into the idea of becoming something building all of your sense of self-worth and pride around doing hard things rather than accomplishing something grand like you're showing up every day you're leaving it all out on the field you were doing hard things you were working towards something and playing the long game and that's the key here so you said that when you started you thought this was all just going to happen much more quickly and you're getting demoralized and i'm sure that the longer this goes the more sort of in this death spiral you are and the more likely you are to not actually go and do that thing and you want to recognize that this is a game of putting out maximum effort for an obscene amount of time before things click over it's crazy how long and hard you have to go with something and then here is the really [ __ ] hard thing you have to be getting better like you have to actually be improving and so that just brings us back to that investment in changing our potential into skill set because skill set has utility and we want to just be in that loop all the time all the time one foot in front of the other rules about getting out of bed in the morning rules about going after something rewarding ourselves for the sincere pursuit of that thing valuing ourselves for becoming something instead of being something and then always always always focused on the long term and understanding that just you've got to put that energy in over and over and over constantly trying to get new skills new skills not checking off a list that you read that book or that you created that video but saying what skill am i trying to get better at what am i trying to learn what do i need to do in order to create the saying that i want to create and then the juice the game the obsession has got to be the pursuit of that thing the pursuit of that thing so that your hype on yourself for showing up every day and saying i'm gonna be the world's greatest online trainer plain and simple for me that's so [ __ ] exciting like because remember i don't value myself for being the greatest trainer of all time i value myself for trying with everything that i have sincerely to become that person and as long as i'm having fun doing that which by the way i highly encourage you should love your [ __ ] life then as long as i'm having fun doing that then i get what i get but at least i'm doing what i think is the very purpose of life which is to transform potential into usable skill so let yourself off the hook don't worry about whether this is hard or it's taking a very long time just invest in yourself every day unabashedly going after it finding joy in the process of turning potential into skills all right and next hi tom my name is john lagrange i'm 32 i'm from alberta canada i am a power engineer and currently i am working on creating an online business procrastination for me is indecision trying to figure out what's most important and act on that lately i've been working on writing my goals down and even then i feel like every time i have a very good idea what i believe to be a very good idea is something that i feel like i'd be passionate about i write that down i work on it i'm very active in it and then also i get another great idea and i divert my energy towards that and i procrastinate on the next thing and it has caused me many many many delays and indecision it's it's a challenge and that's what i'm focusing on so for me procrastination is indecision constantly waffling back and forth on what i feel is the right thing to work on and if i could figure out how to work on that and how to narrow it down and direct all my energy at one topic that i feel is most valuable and most critical i think that's where i'll find my success hopefully you can help oh i can help now the question becomes um will you find the passion and the enthusiasm for the process that i'm about to lay out for you because it is one of iteration it's brutal the only thing that i think people should fear is standing still so i've often said that running a thousand miles an hour in the wrong direction is better than standing still and then people say tom that's [ __ ] now you're you know so far down the road you've got to redo all that [ __ ] and start moving in the other direction and that's where i suppose the analogy lets me down because the reality is when you're running in the wrong direction you're not moving away from getting something right you are the only time that happens is when you refuse to analyze the data now if somebody is closing their mind because the farther they go in the wrong direction they're investing in that position they're telling people that they're right and they're doubling down yes that moronic behavior is creating a bigger and bigger problem for you but if when you're running in the wrong direction you're like hey i am prepared the second i have information that tells me that this is the wrong direction i will learn from that and i will immediately start going in the right direction now the good news is you actually don't have to retread all that ground that you went on what you're doing is now you're armed with a new piece of information that's going to let you as henry ford says begin again more intelligently so the full henry ford quote is failure is merely the opportunity to begin again more intelligently so what i want people to understand is failure mistakes all of that is the most information rich data stream you will ever encounter okay let me say that again failure is the most information rich data stream you will ever encounter you go and you do something wrong and you realize why it was wrong now once you understand oh my god now i know why that was never going to work in the beginning now i can get going the way that i need to go and by the way that new way that you're going to go is almost certainly also going to be a mistake and you're going to learn oh [ __ ] okay here's another piece of the puzzle and now you're going in the right tur the righter direction the more accurate direction the more useful direction and you're going to get another piece of information okay so you want to start thinking of mistakes and failure the way that artificial intelligence thinks of it it's called a sample so this wrong direction is merely a sample you tried something it's going to give you a piece of data that piece of data is going to inform your next move which is going to give you a piece of data which is going to inform your next move so instead of thinking about these as right or wrong mistakes just [ __ ] decide okay let me say it again just decide the only thing that's stopping you is you're worried that it's wrong or you're worried there's a better way let me make it easy for you it is wrong there is a better way but you're never going to know until you start moving i remember marie forleo came on my show one time she said you can't think your way to understanding something you just have to act i was like that's [ __ ] brilliant it is so true and her example was a dance class she said she learned more in 60 seconds of actually dancing at a dance class about whether or not she wanted to be a dancer then she had in years of thinking about it the same is true in business you're going to learn infinitely more about whether something works by just [ __ ] trying it then you are by thinking about it and then from there there's something called ice where you're going to uh it's basically weighing the impact of something versus how hard it is to implement and so you find that sweet spot of what's the thing that takes the least amount of energy for the biggest amount of impact and that's how you prioritize and so you can also just put things in order of that and just blindly follow ice and say ah that i learned this from that i learned that from this oh this one was a total bust but i got this piece of information and then you will get better and better and better at ice as you go but everybody wants their [ __ ] to be amazing from the jump it's not it's all going to suck most of your ideas are going to be moronic most of your execution is going to be what a buffoon could do but from all of that you start to actually get good and that's the key mistakes are the most information rich data stream you will encounter so go make some all right who's up greetings tom and everyone at impact theory i apology radio and television host voice talent and author okay so procrastination i could have five things that i intend on getting done throughout a particular day and i'll get maybe number one maybe number two done and then the phone rings and i'll justify in my head why i feel i have to answer that phone call because nine times out of ten the phone call is relevant to what it is that i do it could be a producer or a guest or something of that nature so it's relative to what i have to do but it's not like there's a deadline like i've got to answer this call because it's in reference to a deadline it's just a reference to what i do next thing i know half a day is gone i haven't completed what it is that i need to complete so what are your suggestions for helping me to stay focused when that phone rings to i don't know ignore it help me out tom i appreciate you all right boys and girls here is a psa from your dear friend tom turn off all notifications turn them off all of them in my world unless your ass is dying in fact even if you're dying you can't get a hold of me i am literally unreachable so the only way to reach me i wish you guys could see uh the person that's helping me produce this episode right now who is nodding because she knows how hard it is to get a hold of me uh that is the god's honest truth and i do that because i determine what my priorities are because i know what my goal is i'm in that mistake-laden information-rich data stream i know what i need to be doing i need to try something learn from it reformulate my hypothesis try again i need to be in that stream of action action man not talking not uh pontificating i need to have a goal i need to know what the important things are that are going to lead me to that goal and then i need to be doing doing doing every day so many people let other people control their [ __ ] priorities that's madness to me it is [ __ ] crazy i cannot believe that people check email before they do something do you know how many emails that i've responded to in the last let's make it crazy in the last month okay think about it how many emails has tom we have a staff of like 21 people how many emails have i responded to five maybe in the last month ten if it's just like crazy and i'm forgetting something that's in the last month now do i miss out on opportunities because i don't check email absolutely but on balance am i way better off controlling my day controlling what i put my time and energy into the way i say it to people is i want you to really ask yourself the question when you check an email or in this case you answer a call what are the odds that the person on the other end of that phone knows exactly what you should be doing at that moment to reach your goals and they happen to call at exactly the right moment the answer is zero there is a zero percent chance that that person knows exactly what you need to be doing and is calling at exactly the right moment so i don't know if it's fomo or if it's just the desire to not have to struggle with what people are struggling with that makes them respond to notifications but [ __ ] notifications i have them all shut off on my phone not i literally i could be staring at my phone i wouldn't know if somebody's called me i have to click into the phone app to see if somebody called i have to click into my text app to see if somebody's trying to reach me like i just don't [ __ ] with notifications that [ __ ] is crazy i don't let other people control my time i don't let them control my focus set aside some period at the end of the day or something where you go through and look at email i get it people are going to look at email but jesus you should work i'm going to say if you haven't clocked six hours doing your thing controlling your own agenda before you start letting other people influence your agenda there's a real problem and i get it i'm even talking to the people out there like my sister who i love more than you can imagine but oh dear god the amount of meetings that she has i'm like this is crazy you can't do this you you cannot do this this is nuts so boys and girls no notifications you got to get some structure on your day it's madness you should know better than anybody what you need to do to reach your goals and that's that i don't want to get off this horse like i want to keep going i could really get crazy but i'll stop there all right that was it that's our last question all right boys and girls there it is stop procrastinating there is [ __ ] that you want to accomplish in this world there are goals out there that trust me if you spend the time leaning into them they will matter to you they will matter a lot it is only a two criteria um two-part criteria for determining your goal one does it excite you two is it honorable does it serve you and other people if it serves other people as well as yourself and you are [ __ ] amped about it all the other stuff is going to start falling into place the putting rules in place springing out of bed in the morning really going after the acquisition of skills facing your inadequacies head-on turning off all your notifications not letting other people control your time knowing what the most important thing is you could be working on in this moment because you failed so many times before without a loss of self without a loss of enthusiasm you know what the thing is that you should be trying to see if it works next and when you get that magical formula put in place and you wake up every day attacking your goals because you want to be the greatest of all time the amount that you can achieve with your life is extraordinary even if you never become one of the greats because it doesn't matter what matters is the sincere pursuit but you're not sincerely pursuing something if you're laying in bed if you're talking on the phone if you're answering an email you're not sincerely pursuing your goals that is the greatest joy that i could offer to anybody is to really believe in what you're pursuing and then to leave it all out on the field the physics of being human trust me there is a deep seated program running in your brain that wants you to do hard [ __ ] in the service of something that you believe in and when you start doing that baby life gets [ __ ] awesome all right everybody thank you for joining me thank you for the questions it's so huge and i know that people put vulnerability into those bad boys and i'm eternally grateful as is hopefully everybody else watching guys until next time be legendary take care hey everybody it's time to talk about all of our favorite subjects mental health is there something holding you back or preventing you from achieving your goals or even just interfering with your happiness do any of you suffer from depression or anxiety as a lot of you guys know i've suffered from anxiety for years and trying to tackle something like that on your own is not always the optimal strategy but a lot of people are super nervous to try out therapy or they don't really know where to start or they're just plain embarrassed but now there's a service called better help that makes therapy more accessible and affordable better help is professional counseling done securely online using your computer tablet or mobile phone through video calls phone calls or text messaging with licensed therapists who are certified by their state's board to provide therapy and counseling it is not self-help and it's not a crisis line it's an online service available worldwide and it has a massive network of counselors who have a broad and diverse range of specialties so you can get a counselor with a sort of expertise that might not even be available in your local area betterhelp assesses your needs and matches you with a licensed professional therapist within 24 hours you can log into your account anytime to message your counselor and betterhelp also has group in our sessions every week where members can learn in groups directly from licensed counselors on multiple topics like relationships and ways to overcome anxiety especially if the thought of seeking help makes you nervous or embarrassed be sure to check out the over 60 000 positive reviews posted on the betterhelp site and that's betterhelp h-e-l-p betterhelp is committed to making it easy for you to access the therapeutic help you need even if you have never gone to counseling before it's free to switch therapists it's more affordable than local therapy and they even have financial aid available if you need it betterhelp wants you to start living a happier life today visit betterhelp.com impact and again that's spelled better h-e-l-p and join over 500 000 people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional betterhelp costs just 65 per week and financial aid is available for those who qualify during the sign up process as an impact theory viewer you can get 10 off your first month so visit betterhelp.com impact and get the help you need today all right guys if you need this one please give it a shot take care and be legendary we're going to be talking all about one of my favorite topics in this world how to overcome any obstacle no matter what it is you're trying to do in your life i promise you the ability to stay in a solution-oriented mindset and to go over under through around whatever the case may be any obstacle that is going to be the key to winning

Channel: Tom Bilyeu

Views: 185,196

Rating: 4.9253964 out of 5

Keywords: Tom Bilyeu, Impact Theory, ImpactTheory, TomBilyeu, Inside Quest, InsideQuest, Tom Bilyou, Theory Impact, motivation, inspiration, talk show, interview, motivational speech, IT, Q&A, procrastination, overcoming procrastination, staying productive, hustle, advice, productivity, staying focused, knowing what you value, turn wants into needs, establishing rules, rules for your life, skills have utility, continuously reading, importance of reading, tackling insecurity, overcoming insecurity

Id: 0oQo5MDdj80

Length: 47min 36sec (2856 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 27 2020