7 Things Narcissists Do When They're Alone

What do narcissists do when they're alone?  Emotionally narcissists are constantly walking   a tight rope trying to balance their shaky  self-esteem. What makes them feel more stable   is getting a lot of external validation and  what makes them lose their sense of stability   is any perceived criticism. For this reason,  narcissists have a very hard time being alone   and if they are alone they are constantly hunting  for new sources of supply. In today's video,   I'm going to talk about the seven things  narcissist do when they are alone. Please   stick around to the end of this video to find  out what they are most definitely not [Music] doing. If you find this video helpful, please do  me a quick favor and like, comment, subscribe and   hit the notification bell. People often ask me how  they can support my channel and your engagement is   the best way to do that. Also, just want to let  you know that I recently launched my membership   site so please consider becoming a part of my  community! Okay so let's jump right in. First,   understand that to a narcissist supply is like  oxygen and they need a constant source of supply   in order to survive which is why they have such  a need need to be in control of their sources of   supply. Imagine being a scuba diver about to go on  a deep dive you'd be checking and double-checking   your sources of oxygen and make sure you have  enough oxygen supply to safely complete the   dive this is what it's like for a narcissist  narcissistic supply refers to the admiration   and validation that narcissists need in order  to maintain their inflated self-image and their   sense of self-worth so if they're not getting  enough they feel insecure irrelevant small weak   vulnerable and extremely shameful so they are  almost always fantasizing and striving about   achieving the success power Beauty Brilliance  wealth the ideal love that they believe will   actually make them worthy so here are seven things  that narcissists tend to do when they are alone   number one is self- admiration narcissists  spend a significant amount of time thinking   about themselves about their accomplishments  their perceived superiority when they are alone   they may engage in activities that feed their ego  so they're fantasizing about success or replaying   past achievements they're indulging in these  grandio fantasies about having that something or   someone that will make make them happy and feel  worthy of everyone's admiration and adoration   while engaged in their self-admiration they will  often reach out to others by text or by phone to   brag and to get that external validation number  two is they go on social media when a narcissist   is alone social media tends to be their best way  to hunt down Supply they may spend time on their   social media platforms for self-promotion so  this of course is an attempt to seek validation   compliments and praise they may frequently post  content that highlights their accomplishments um   their material possessions anything to affirm  their selfworth and make sure that people are   seeing them and thinking of them in the light  that they want to be seen they typically send   messages to people either people that they know  people that they don't don't know doesn't really   matter they may be flirtatious try to love bomb  they're probably fishing for compliments but   definitely for attention they may leave a comment  on someone's post with the goal of either getting   admiration drawing attention to themselves or even  just to you know create some chaos or drama so   they might insult someone or put them down uh they  might start arguing with strangers on social media   to validate their beliefs and boost their ego  and also to assert power and a sense of control   at the end of the day all of their social media  activities serve the same purpose and that is to   gain narcissistic Supply sadly for the narcissist  social media tends to be a double-edged sword   often fueling their insecurities as they can get  very envious when they see other people showcasing   their perfect lives number three is they plan and  scheme when alone narcissists May meticulously   plan and scheme ways to manipulate others so this  is to maintain control it's to uphold their image   of superiority um they may be strategizing  on ways to exploit vulnerabilities in their   relationships to get sympathy or empathy from  others to plan revenge on other people who they   perceive have harmed them in some way planning  and scheming allows them to orchestrate situations   that fulfill their need for attention admiration  validation and Power in control and this is often   at the expense of other people's well-being  here's an example let's say a narcissist is   invited to a party where they want to make a  big impression they might spend a ton of time   beforehand planning their entrance planning their  interactions to ensure that they stand out and   receive a a lot of attention and admiration they  will meticulously plan how to craft their image   so this might include things like planning their  outfit their makeup their accessories changing a   100 times before going they will strategize and  plan conversations so that they can appear more   intelligent witty and successful they may scheme  or begin planning potential ways to create drama   chaos uh conflict and excitement and ways to stay  the center of attention so whether this is by   telling extravagant stories or engaging in other  types of attention-seeking behavior they may also   anticipate potential challenges to their dominance  or their uh Spotlight and strategize subtle ways   to undermine or discredit other people through  dismissive remarks passive aggressive behavior   really it's all about getting maximum amounts  of supplies and if any part of their plan fails   they may get extremely upset as they may feel  crushed by a sense of Shame and this can cause   them to behave in impulsive and erratic ways and  often in abusive and rageful ways number four is   that narcissists ruminate when they are alone  so they replay conversations or interactions in   their minds repetitively selectively focusing on  aspects of the conversation that reinforce their   self-image as Superior uh successful or admired  they might dwell on compliments that they received   instances where they asserted their dominance or  control or situations where they believe that they   were the center of attention by replaying these  interactions they seek to bolster their ego and   maintain their inflated sense of self-importance  also narciss nists May sometimes fixate on   perceived slights or criticisms during these  mental replays however they usually reinterpret   these um situations in a way that minimizes any of  their flaws or faults and instead place the blame   on others or dismiss the criticism altogether  number five is they triangulate by text when a   narcissist is alone they are often on their  phone creating conflict chaos compet ition   and manipulating others from a distance always  stirring the pot creating drama and trying to gain   a sense of control over people and situations  since they have such a deep fear of being   perceived as inadequate or flawed they are often  triangulating the people in their lives as a way   to boost their own self-image and maintain control  over their sources of Supply Again by creating   conflict and competition triangulation involves  bringing third parties into a relationship Dynamic   typically by comparing or contrasting one person  with another this tactic is used to isolate and   Gaslight others by sewing seeds of Doubt jealousy  insecurity creating division among these people   and making them more susceptible to The Narcissist  manipulations number six is reckless or impulsive   behaviors when left alone with their thoughts  a narcissist often feels very shameful so to   cope with these feelings they often engage in  activities that provide instant gratification such   as substance use excessive shopping or Reckless  sexual activities these things offer instant   distractions and immediate gratification allowing  the narcissist to temporarily escape from the   emotional discomfort that they are experiencing  number seven is hoovering old sources of Supply   if they can't find a new source of Supply  or they simply don't want to make the effort   they will reach out to Old sources of Supply  most narcissists have a list of old suppliers   such as X's that haven't fully cut them off yet  the X might think that they are special because   the narcissist is still reaching out to them after  all of this time but no what is actually happening   is that you're like their convenience store their  backup plan and the person they go to for a quick   fill up anytime their tank is low so maybe the  narcissist is in a relationship but when they're   alone and bored they reach out and flirt with  you or they call you to complain about their   new relationship or maybe they tell you that  they can't get over you whatever it is it is   aimed at getting Supply from you quick they are  likely reaching out to a bunch of people at the   same time and whoever responds first gets to fill  their tank okay so those are some of the things a   narcissist will do when they are alone but here is  one thing that they are definitely not doing they   are not facing reality or facing their feelings of  Shame most of their waking hours are spent trying   to distract themselves from their sad lonely  empty shameful inner Reality by using others to   maintain their delusional fantasies so if you are  constantly seeking Supply to uphold your fragile   ego if your entire self-image relies on external  validation then narcissistic personality disorder   is a possibility but it's not the only possibility  if you suspect you may have NPD consider reaching   out to a mental health therapist who specializes  in this disorder disorder who can help you manage   your symptoms regulate your emotions give  you better coping strategies to deal with   feelings of Shame as well as help you manage your  relationships better unfortunately narcissists are   typically the last ones to ever acknowledge their  flaws mistakes or shortcomings when faced with   criticism or evidence of their harmful behaviors  they simply raise their defenses even higher they   deflect they blame they distort reality to  protect their ego then they go out and find   people to reinforce their false self-image and  twisted narratives they are experts at finding   people to breathe life into them people who  will support and enable them in justifying   and rationalizing their bad behaviors unable  to ever truly confront themselves and deal with   the shame that's at the root of their recurring  problems thank you so much for watching I hope   you enjoyed this video if you did again please  like comment subscribe and hit the notification   Bell and to learn more about narcissistic  personality disorder click on the link [Music] above

Channel: Lise Leblanc

Views: 290,901

Keywords: narcissists hate you, how narcissists treat, how to outsmart narcissist, how narcissists control you, how narcissists manipulate, how to leave narcissist, vulnerable narcissism, covert narcissism, hypersensitivity, manipulative, gaslighting, covert nacissist, vulnerable narcissist, female covert narcissist, female narcissist, female narcissism, male victims of narcissistic abuse, bpd, codependency, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic abuse, narcissism, narcissist

Id: ECnpu85EkcY

Length: 13min 22sec (802 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 01 2024