How To Be Effortlessly Charming In Any Conversation

jamie foxx is insanely charismatic some people mistakenly think he's just an over-the-top comedian because of jokes like this one i did chaos one time and the next morning i got out of bed like oh my god [Applause] while he does use physical comedy at times jaime is a magnetic storyteller and amazing conversationalist he can even lead a conversation while spending most of it just listening and asking the right questions so today we're going to break down a few of jaime's habits and how you can use these habits to become funnier more magnetic and a more likable listener if you can become even one of those three things people will love being around you i mean i i mean i'm taking i'm taken aback by these stories man honestly i feel like i should pay you for sitting here listening to this the first thing jaime does in most conversations is set a playful tone from the start for example most guests coming on to jimmy kimmel live just walk out wave to the audience and take a seat instead jaime comes in high energy and is immediately striking goofy poses getting people to do the wave and joking with the audience the waves you love that hate it all the time the lady and the person come on yeah come on jamie give me some of that this doesn't mean to try to get the wave started every time you enter a party but most people enter meetings or social gatherings nervous which causes them to be low energy so they keep their voices quiet and their gestures small then they struggle when they suddenly see someone they want to make a good impression on if instead you make a point to be a bit louder and higher energy from the moment you walk in you'll find it's much easier to get social momentum and feel outgoing if you want to start small try building the habit of smiling every time you enter a new room that said don't force yourself to be goofy the whole time part of what makes jaime charismatic is his ability to switch gears and be genuine when the moment calls for it how are you doing how's your life going how are you doing i'm doing well thank you i'm sorry i know i'm breaking protocol but i saw something about you and your kid it was fantastic i just gotta i said when i see you in person oh thank you thank you he's doing very well once jamie sees that genuine moment is well received and jimmy understands that he means it he goes back to cracking jokes he's doing great by the way people keep i feel weird because you know it makes you feel weird because when i did that you went oh goodness yeah so to start let's go over some quick easy ways you can get people laughing one of jaime's go-to ways to get a laugh is by teasing himself as a quick example watch his reaction after ellen shows a clip of him doing pull-ups and says his body is impressive cause you know brothers don't do legs really no no no like we're big at the top and sort of smaller like i could beat you up but i can't chase you i'm like you know i'm like it's worth noting while he is teasing himself that burn has no heat no one cares if he has small legs so it's not actually something that puts him down here's another example from when he met nba player draymond green i ran into draymond green come on man yeah right in the back yeah he was gonna be mad when he hears all of this give me like wife all right for me i said what's up draymond he said what's up fox there's zero shame in being smaller than an nba forward so he's making fun of himself but not actually putting himself down again a burn with no heat what you can and can't tease about yourself is subjective and it comes down to being honest with yourself about what areas you're comfortable and what areas you're a bit insecure for instance a lot of people are insecure about being out of shape but even when he's not in top form jaime has no problem making a joke like this you got the body right i had to you didn't do like me like i have a spank on red you didn't spank it out see this is all spank was it muscles teasing yourself like that makes people laugh and it shows confidence that said even if you're the one that initiates the joke if people are laughing at something you're insecure about there's a risk it's going to bother you especially because it also invites other people to tease you for the same thing so to start only tease areas that aren't major insecurities you can combine this with another habit jaime does incredibly well which is storytelling jamie is a magnetic storyteller he's able to tell stories that make you laugh or that captivate you and hit you emotionally one thing you'll notice about jaime is the way he tells stories really takes you through the experience with him two things create that feeling he tells present tense stories with a variety of voices for example listen to him tell the story of his first audition with tom cruise tom cruise reads his line but it was like this so i thought he lost his place because i couldn't hear him so i said right he says i know i set the line and waiting on you i'm like oh and again you saw he exaggerates to his detriment at the end to get a laugh one other thing to notice as he gets into his stories jaime smiles with his eyes and speaks through a smile which primes people to smile and laugh with him if you've ever seen someone tell the same joke as you but get a bigger laugh this or speaking louder was probably why here's another example watch for present tense a variety of voices and smile priming like you know i'm 49 so i was dj'ing just this club and these girls by the dj booth and they were just so young like i said well how do you say i'm 22. i'm 23. oh my gosh she's ancient she's 27 i'm like wow yeah also notice he pauses at his punch line before continuing if the girl asked me how old i was 49 oh my god can't you die from 49 come on girl let's pray he has 49. those five elements make up the bulk of jaime's funny stories the best part is you don't even have to master all five to become a magnetic storyteller pick one or two to focus on to start you'll notice your stories get a better reaction almost instantly jaime relies on the power of pauses even more when he's telling serious stories he does this by using a special kind of pause a cliffhanger pause sometimes it's only half a second but it grabs your attention here's a quick example because when we were nominated for the oscars most people pause at the end of their sentences instead jaime pauses at a point that's clearly mid-sentence this creates a moment of curiosity and triggers the human desire to know how things end here's a longer example this is jamie describing how powerful it was to watch michael b jordan give his final speech in just mercy you finished that speech and what you didn't see behind you was see aren't you at least a little curious what was behind him the extras in this courtroom gave you a standing ovation the fear people have with pausing is that they'll get cut off but there's a solution to that potential problem in this next clip watch how jamie uses his hand to show he isn't done speaking even through this incredibly long emotional pause for context he's sharing his experience after his father was sentenced to jail for seven years i said i told my pops i i can't come see you by keeping your hand up in the gesture you were using while speaking you make it clear you aren't finished but i wrote him i wrote him a letter i said hey you know things have gotten good for me when you get out i save your life so if you're ever speaking and want to make sure you maintain people's attention while you pause keep your hand gesture up until you continue so far we've talked about how to be an amazing conversationalist while doing most of the talking but there's another way to have people love speaking with you which is by being a likable listener jamie follows the standard listening advice like making eye contact and facing his body towards you but he has another habit beyond that that makes him someone that people really enjoy talking to he asks talk about questions here's an example in front of him behind the camera you were absolutely amazing talk about the birth of just mercy how did that come about michael went on to answer that question for four minutes straight there's a few good rules for getting people to enjoy talking to you get them talking about things they're excited about or are proud of especially things that other people don't often ask about the goal is to ask a question that someone is genuinely excited to answer then use the phrase talk about to elicit a more thoughtful response it's a phrase jamie uses often talk about what it means to be positive to everybody but talk about the significance of the way conversation can feel stilted or awkward if you ask a lot of questions that can be answered with one word instead ask open-ended questions specifically ones that allow people to speak at length about things they care about now one thing i noticed in a few comments recently is that people aren't quite sure how to implement everything from our videos which makes sense it's a lot to work on at once if becoming more charismatic is a goal of yours you should check out charisma university it's a step-by-step 30-day program we made so you know exactly what to do and when you're guaranteed to feel way more confident and charismatic and if for whatever reason you don't then you can get a full refund just by pushing a button inside the course thousands of people have gone through charisma university so far and had great results here's what just a few of them have said thank you you changed my life it's so much easier for me to connect with people all of my relationships have improved and i am able to make new friends anywhere in any situation i never expected such remarkable outcomes from a simple online routine this course completely changed my mindset on how to approach people and think about myself it has undoubtedly made a significant impact on my life everything in my life has improved from loving myself and others more to creating and developing amazing external relationships there's so much joy in my life and cu has been a huge reason for it if you're interested in a 30-day program to become more confident and more charismatic you can click the link on screen now or in the description below either way i hope you enjoyed today's video and i'll see you in the next one you

Channel: Charisma on Command

Views: 453,778

Rating: 4.9562111 out of 5

Keywords: charisma on command, charismaoncommand, coc, charlie houpert, charisma, charisma on command conversation, charisma on command jamie foxx, jamie foxx, jamie foxx charisma, how to be charismatic, body language, how to be charming, how to be magnetic, magnetic personality, how to charm anyone, how to make people like you, how to make people like you at school, how to be charismatic without trying, how to have charismatic personality, jamie foxx funny, jamie foxx moments

Id: 6pa70xEsvdY

Length: 10min 11sec (611 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 10 2020