Siddhartha Gautama, commonly known as the Buddha,
was a spiritual teacher and a philosopher. The title "Buddha" means "the awakened one" or
"the enlightened one." His teachings form the foundation of Buddhism, a profound
and influential philosophy and religion. Central to Buddhist teachings are
the "Three Marks of Existence," which illuminate the nature of life and the human
experience. The Three Marks of Existence are - Anicca, which means impermanence. This
teaches us that everything in the world is in a constant state of change and flux.
Dukkha, meaning Suffering. This acknowledges that life inherently involves
suffering and dissatisfaction. And finally Anatta, which is Non-Self, challenging
the concept of a fixed, unchanging self or soul. Anatta means that there is no permanent self.
To put it simply, it means that you are always changing, just like everything else in the world.
According to Buddhism, our "self" is made up of five things, which they call "The Five
Aggregates of clinging." These are: our physical body, our form,
how we feel about things, our feelings, how we see and understand
the world, our perception, our consciousness, which is our awareness, and our thoughts and emotions,
our mental formations. But none of these things on
their own represent our true, unchanging self because they all change over time.
So, "anattā" doesn't mean "no self" but rather "no permanent self." It reminds us that nothing in
life stays the same forever, including ourselves. Understanding this concept of "non-self"
can help us let go of things and move on in life. It can make us feel free and
independent. So here are six ways that you can use the idea of "non-self" to help you
move on in life from the wisdom of buddha. 1. Live In The Present
Buddha says “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future,
concentrate the mind on the present moment.” Imagine you have a favorite toy.
You really like playing with it, but it's not going to stay the same forever.
Just like how your toy changes and gets old, everything in life changes. What
happened in the past is done and gone, the future hasn't happened yet, and even the
present moment doesn't last forever. Buddhism teaches that people who understand this idea of
things changing are ready to let go of the past and not worry too much about the future.
They focus on what's happening right now. A lot of us spend time feeling sad about the past
or worried about the future. We wish things were different or we try to control what's going
to happen next. But even if we don't think about the past or future too much, we might not be
truly living in the present. We might daydream or think about things that aren't real. So, what's
real? According to this principle of Anatta, things change all the time, including who we are.
Our sense of who we are is made up of many small, changing parts. When we think too much
about the past or dream about the future, we're focusing on things that aren't
real anymore or haven't happened yet. Let's look at regrets, for example. We often
spend time thinking about mistakes we made in the past and feel bad about them. But according
to this idea, the "you" who made those mistakes has changed since then. You've learned and
grown. There's no need to be hard on yourself for the things you did a long time ago. The same
goes for wishing things were like they used to be. That's just a daydream because people and
situations change. If you tried to go back to how things were before, it wouldn't work out
because you're not the same anymore. Thinking too much about these daydreams or unrealistic
plans takes away from the real life you have now. It's like spending all your time thinking
about imaginary things instead of enjoying what's really happening, here in the present.
And what about the future? It's good to plan for it, but sometimes we worry too much. We
plan every detail, like exactly what job we'll have or what our house will be like. But life
doesn't always go exactly as planned. Plus, we change as people and the world changes too.
So, those super specific plans might not work out. Remember that you're not exactly who you were
in the past, and you won't be exactly the same in the future either. This helps you think
more realistically. Will the things you're sad about now still matter in the future?
Probably not. Will your future self want the same things as you do now? Maybe not. Instead
of getting caught up in the past or future, ask yourself what you want and what makes you
happy right now. This way, you can let go of what's already happened and what might happen, and
focus on what's happening right in front of you. 2. Embrace Change
According to Buddha “Everything that has a beginning has an ending.
Make your peace with that and all will be well.” One of the most important pieces of
wisdom found in anattā is the benefit of learning to let things go, which is one
of the most important steps in moving on. When you consider yourself not a fixed
entity but rather something to grow, evolve, and to keep experiencing, you will
find that changes in your life are not as disastrous or disrupting as they once
seemed. Rather, they are to be embraced. Many people find it difficult to deal with
changes in their lives. It can be tough when things don't go the way we want them to. Even
when we decided to make changes ourselves, it can still be unsettling and take time to
get used to. Some people dislike change so much that they try to avoid it completely. For
most of us, too many changes happening all at once can be bothersome. However, change can
actually be really beneficial for us and is a crucial part of our lives. Most importantly,
we can't escape it – it's bound to happen. If we were to take the concept of anattā into
account with every single thing we do and think, we would be intimately aware of the fleeting
nature of everything. Our biggest problem with change is that it takes away what we had wanted to
keep(going a bit fast and unclear (7:10); whether it is a job, a person, a house, a neighborhood,
a certain item, or a relationship. We cling to what we think makes us happy or improves our
life - and it’s that act of clinging that makes us so very unprepared for its loss.
Think of a child who can’t sleep without their favorite night light. While the
light may be wonderful and comforting, by sleeping with it every single night the child
is setting themselves up for failure were it to ever break down. If however the child was told
that the light might someday break down and that they should practice sleeping without it, they’d
be prepared and thus not inconsolable when this warning eventually does come true. And so it is
with most things in life. Ask yourself - What do you depend on and can’t imagine your life
without? Think of its impermanent nature and, however awful it may seem, imagine your life
without it. What would your life be like? and How would you move on? It’s not only important
to be prepared for losses brought on by change, but it’s also important to embrace them.
However awful As counterintuitive as it may seem, some things shine brighter through their
fleeting nature. Sometimes a relationship ends when its has reached its peak, or a house is
sold before there have been any negative memories made inside. Instead of mourning the loss of
such things, one can also be thankful for how pure and joyful the memories of these things will
always remain. Change is beautiful. Be thankful for what was and prepare for that which will
come. Only then can you move on from anything. 3. Be Grateful
In the words of Buddha “Let us rise up and be thankful. For if we
didn’t learn a lot at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we
didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.”
Buddhism teaches that people should focus on being good and not think only about themselves.
Buddhists are not selfish. They find happiness in being happy for what they already have and not
always wanting more. Sometimes, we act selfishly because we think we deserve things, like rewards,
because we're nice or helpful. But thinking like this can make us feel disappointed because we
might not always get what we think we deserve. Also, we can't always trust our own feelings
about what we deserve or what will make us happy. It's like our own subconscious is
tricking ourselves. Buddhism teaches us that there's no fixed "self." This means that
our feelings and desires change all the time, so it's hard to say we truly deserve
something. How can we want something so much when our future self might not even
want it anymore? It’s like filling up your third plate at the all-you-can-eat buffet -
You think you want it right now, but there’s a very strong chance that in just a few minutes’
time much of what you took will end up wasted. So, how can we want less and be happier?
Well, it's as simple as being thankful for what we already have. When we're thankful, we
start to feel good about the things we have, even the small things. This helps us not feel sad
about things we lose or things we can't have and instead helps us focus on what's good now and what
will be good in the future. When we're thankful for what we have now, it's easier to let go of
things and move on to the next thing in life. 4. `Increase Your Confidence
Buddha considers that “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become
what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.”
One of the best ways to avoid lingering in the past is to be confident. If one is confident,
they don’t feel the need to cling to things; when they have themselves, they have enough.
Many people think that in order to be confident, you must know yourself and what you have to offer
intimately. However, with the concept of anattā, there’s no constant ‘self’ to know. So how could
anattā make us anything but self-conscious? People have a tendency to forget that we are all
works in progress. Our flaws aren’t permanent; we can grow out of them or work on ourselves. An
inability to acknowledge this, which many people have, is detrimental to our ability to improve.
What many get wrong, is that a tight view of who you are is more like a cage than anything
else. In a strict definition, there’s no room for growth. If you describe yourself as ‘kind,’
you imply that you are already kind, and there is nothing you have to do for that status. But
by keeping yourself undefined, and realizing you change all the time, you have to be kind again
and again in order to consider yourself to be so. Moreover, when you define yourself with
bad traits, it becomes way harder to quit bad habits. If you are generally considered
to be ‘lazy’ or ‘impulsive,’ for example, and you start identifying your ‘self’ with
such traits, you’ll have no motivation to change your habits. How could you be less lazy
or impulsive if that’s ‘just who you are’? How are you expected to move on from who you are?
Instead, nobody just ‘is.’ As anattā makes clear, we are different people from who we used to be,
and we will be different people from who we are now in the future. All the ways that we consider
ourselves to be can be put to question day after day. Do you want to be kind? Well, what are you
going to do today to achieve that title? How will you behave kindly? And do you wish that you
weren’t lazy? Well, you don’t have to be! How can you act today in order not to deserve that label?
Now, the idea isn’t to deny your flaws or wave away your insecurities. They are there, and
you can feel them - that much is certain. The idea is to not let them define you and not
to act accordingly. According to Buddhism, insecurities are unavoidable. But our
paralyzing fear when we encounter them is. Insecurities make one feel inadequate, broken,
and irredeemable - when, in fact, we are all the very opposite. There is so much room for growth if
we allow ourselves to grow instead of cower. So, we should instead embrace our insecurities.
We should get to know them, analyze them, and with that knowledge, work on them!
Anattā gives you complete freedom to be as you want to be through action and growth. As
a result, you will find that you have complete control over who you are and want to be. Instead
of ‘working with what you got,’ as many put it, you can create yourself. Anything about your
personality that you are self-conscious about, you can change - starting now! The confidence,
then, should come from your complete freedom to shape yourself. And with the freedom to
shape yourself, comes the idea that you are not dependent on anything; you can move through
this world freely, and move on from anything. 5. Forgive
To quote Buddha “Forgive others not because they deserve
forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” One of the hardest human practices, some might
say, is the practice of forgiving others. It’s also one of the biggest reasons people find
they cannot move on from some past happening; because they hold grudges. Buddhism is famous for
offering gentle lessons on kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. But how could they teach us to
forgive those that have wronged us, when doing so feels so painful and unnatural? If forgiveness
is seen as a gift, then why gift it to people who you feel don’t deserve it? Buddhism, however,
flips this idea of forgiveness on its head. It’s wrong to think of forgiveness as something you
do for the person you’re forgiving; instead, you should see it as something you do for yourself.
Forgiving others is the hardest to do when you care a lot about what you are supposed to
be forgiving them for - if you didn’t care, forgiving them wouldn’t be that hard. So when you
don’t forgive people for what they have done to you, you implicitly state that this wrongdoing is
something that still haunts you. In other words: you are tied to the past. Without the ability to
forgive, we wallow in past hurt and pain. . It occupies us with what we cannot change and
prevents us from moving on and growing. A Buddhist story describes two men meeting, one of
which had been wrongfully imprisoned for years. The other man asks him if he’s forgiven his
captors since becoming free. The man says no, never. The former man then says, ‘Then you
are not free at all, but still imprisoned.’ Think back to the concept of anattā:
of our ever-changing self. This goes for others as well. The person we blame for
our pain is no longer there, and instead, some new version of them has appeared. They were
- and still are - as incomplete as we ourselves are. They have more to learn and need more room to
grow. The person we are mad at isn’t a bad person, but simply a fluid person who did something
bad once. We can’t view them as who they were forever. Just as we are insecure and make our
mistakes, so too others. And so everyone is forever reshaping themselves into something else.
Thus, clinging onto our blame is like living in a fantasy; we are obsessed with someone who no
longer exists, with a situation that is long over. Forgiveness is the way to move on. This doesn’t
mean that you render the actions you forgive as harmless or justified. Forgiveness isn’t saying
that it is okay to have someone treat you like that. Rather, forgiveness can acknowledge how
bad something was without wallowing in it. One of the ways you can practice forgiving others
is by meditating on those who wronged you. While you are meditating, imagine a version of
yourself as one holding onto the grudge, and another version of yourself that’s free from
that grudge, happy and forgiving. Ask yourself what version you would like to be. If you chose
the second, then imagine the person who hurt you. Try to see their perspective. Why did they hurt
you? Did they do it intentionally? Why would they want to do that? Hurting somebody is rarely, if
ever, just for the sake of hurting. Really try to understand that, and try to understand the
person in question. When you find that you can see why they behaved the way they did, then you
can overcome it. End the meditation with being thankful. Thank them for giving you this wonderful
opportunity to grow. Because they hurt you and you overcame it, you’ve learned something new.
Forgiveness isn’t weak or naive - it’s brave. It requires you to let go of the past and move
on, and that requires effort and guts. Moreover, when you learn to forgive others, it becomes
easier to forgive yourself as well. Forgiveness is like a muscle you train: the more you
use it, the more effortless it becomes. Forgiving is essential to moving on, and moving
on is essential to our growth and improvement. 6. Be Compassionate
In our final quote from Buddha for this video, he says “In
compassion lies the world's true strength.” To add to the point of forgiveness, there’s
a crucial point to be made about compassion in general. Compassion in Buddhism, is also
called karuṇā. Karuṇā is, literally said, the wish to free others from pain and suffering.
You have to be able to notice others suffering, and be willing to help them recover
from it. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not enough to just recognize the
suffering of others, or to empathize; you must want to help, too. True
compassion is taking action. All of us have probably been compassionate or
kind a few times but it’s not nearly as much as we could do, and also not close to what one should
practice according to Buddhism. All Too often, we are too preoccupied with our own
troubles to notice those of others, and when we do we feel too busy to be of help. So
how could one be more compassionate? Try to think of every human being not just as a passenger
or stranger, but as someone’s child, parent, or friend. Try to think of what you would like
to happen if you were in another person’s shoes. One of the best ways to learn how to do this is to
meditate and use mindfulness. Mindful meditation should help you let go of what preoccupies you and
look beyond. It urges one to see the big picture, think objectively, and let go of biases.
For example, take a few minutes every day to sit down and think: did I see anyone
in need? Could I have helped them? If so, how? Have I been kind today? And how can I be
kinder towards others tomorrow? Is there something that prevents me from acting compassionate? And
can I change that? Have I judged other people today and why? What would I feel if I let go of
my judgment? These questions might seem simple and obvious, but very few actually take time
to consciously think about such things in their day-to-day life. And Doing so could do wonders.
Karuṇā is, aside from absolutely necessary for us as a species to survive, one of the greatest
motivations to ever exist. You can always relieve someone’s suffering or help someone through a
tough time. Even when you have nothing else, you have the ability to be there for somebody. Even
those who are going through a deep depression, can benefit a lot by helping others when
someone needs them. It’s easier to forget your own pain when confronted by that of
someone else, and it also becomes easier to be compassionate towards your own pain after
you’ve been compassionate to another. The more compassion you practice having for others, the
more self-compassion you will develop as well. If you enjoyed this video, please make
sure to check out our full philosophies for life playlist and for more videos to
help you find success and happiness using beautiful philosophical wisdom, don’t forget
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