Lao Tzu says 'Those who flow as life
flows know they need no other force.’ Lao Tzu was an ancient Chinese philosopher and
writer who is known to be the founder of Taoism. He is also credited as the writer of Taoism’s
most sacred text, the Tao Te Ching. Taoism is a philosophy which teaches a life of
‘ease’, living in harmony with the Tao. The word ‘Tao’ translates into "path",
”method”, “principle” or "way", and Taoist belief is based on the idea that the
Tao is an organising principle of the Universe, a natural order, that one can come to
know by living in harmony with nature. Taoism suggests that life is like the course of
a river and most of us are clinging to the bank, afraid to let go and risk being carried
along by the current of the river. At a certain point, each of us must be willing
to simply let go, and trust the river to carry us along safely. At this point, we learn to “go
with the flow”. Once we have become accustomed to being in the flow of the river, we can begin
to look ahead and guide our course onward.
Thus, ‘Flow’ is about leading your
life’s course with minimal resistance. It is about allowing the course of your life to
unfold, whilst making conscious decisions about what is ahead of you and in this video we will
talk about 6 ways to be in flow with your life from the wisdom of Lao Tzu.
1. Let go of your ego In the words of Lao Tzu “The ego is
entranced by ... names and ideas... However names and concepts only block
your perception of this Great Oneness.” Taoism teaches us that everything is
connected and we are part of a greater whole. That we are much more than our job or our physical
appearance and only when we let go of this false identity given by the ego, will we be able to
live a fulfilling life. By linking our identity to what we do professionally, or the job title we
hold, we put ourselves in boxes and these boxes end up being our prison as we endlessly strive
to live up to these identities. If you focus too much upon labels, career titles and money,
when you lose those things, you lose yourself. We need to understand that our name, our
possessions, our profession, what constitutes our ego does not define who we are. The Tao
says that which can be named is not the Tao. As soon as you place a label on someone
you reduce your estimation of that person to the expectations that label
implies - even if that person is you. Taoism, however, does not discourage us from
having goals and pursuing them, and instead asks us to not get too attached to
the ideas or identities we create because when we are attached to something we hold
on to it, and holding on to anything beyond its due time means we cannot let go of it and so
we move in opposition to the flow of our life. Many people, for example, go all their lives
proudly attached to the job position they hold. They might have had one of the highest
earning and most respected positions in their firm for decades, but their whole world
comes crumbling down the day they get fired. This happens because we can’t let go
of our narrow self-identity. Instead of looking at the unity of all things
and how we form part of a greater whole, we end up reducing ourselves to a
mere job title, or physical trait. We came into the world without any preconceptions
– we had no concept of race, religion or social class when we were born. It is only when we
grow older that we cling to these things, even believing they define us. We segment
ourselves into groups and shun people who don’t fit into the same bracket as us. The
Tao Te Ching says forget the rules and flow freely in whichever way life takes you.
We need to realize that we are already connected to everything in our lives that we think is
missing, such as love, happiness and inner peace, we just have to align ourselves properly to find
it. Lao Tzu teaches us that we are like an onion, and we must unpeel the different layers of skin to
become free. He says “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”. Once we become free,
especially of the ego and false identities, we find all of the things we had been longing
for flowing into our lives in abundance.
2. Dare not to be first
Lao tzu tells us that “All streams flow to the sea because it is lower
than they are. Humility gives it its power." Humility is one of the three jewels of
Taoism along with compassion and simplicity. In Taoism, humility is translated as the phrase
“dare not be first”. Taoism teaches us that we are all just a small part of The Great Oneness.
We can imagine ourselves as a collection of rivers that are all tributaries to a single stream of
water. Despite the apparent separation between the different rivers, they are all connected
to the same source. This source is the Tao. If we apply this analogy to our lives, we’ll
find that much like the individual rivers contributing to that same body of water,
we too are all part of a greater whole, and we are governed by the universal
energy common to all of us. In the hyper-competitive rat-race we call modern
life, we very much neglect this wisdom. We all desperately wish to be the first one to do
something or to go somewhere, but often that is too great a risk or requires more time and and
energy than is reasonable, as we are going against the flow of life. Also, competing and challenging
others in order to be first can upset or offend them, and people often react badly to being
challenged this way, sometimes even violently. Our efforts and struggles towards our goals
creates an internal sense of value that often bears little resemblance to how valuable that goal
is in reality. As a result we become too hung up on labels and titles, social status, wealth, etc.
so that when we achieve our goals it naturally boosts our egos to a stage where we end up
looking down on people who are not on-par with us. The truth is no matter how
much one competes and thrives, none of us are really self-made. Ask yourself
how much of your life have you earned? First, our lives depend on our parents. They feed
us, protect us, and nurture us as infants. Did you earn it? No! Then, in your childhood, you had
teachers who helped you learn to read and write, parents who clothed and fed you, a community
that provided food, clothing, and entertainment. As an adolescent, you relied on your parents to
feed you, do your laundry, made it possible for you to go to school, and so on. So now, as an
adult, how much of your life has been earned? According to Lao Tzu, nothing. Hence,
your life is a gift from everyone but you. You are where you are because of the
benevolence and compassion of others. Hence, you cannot look at someone less fortunate and
think that they earned their position while you earned your higher one and therefore, you have no
right to an ego. None of us have earned our keep.
Humility, or not presuming to be at the forefront
in the world, is the only truthful way to relate to the world and to others. It is not a
weakness. It is not a tool to get what you want. It is reality. There are different ways one
can practice being humble. One of them could be taking a walk in the evening and thinking
of everyone around you, your family, friends, your neighbours, work colleagues, and so on… Now
think about them without their labels or wealth. Consider what issues they may be facing.
Some may have a troubled married life, some may be struggling financially, others may
be struggling with addictions. Think of ways you can help them without any expectations. If you
begin to see yourself as part of others’ lives, their problems will become your problems. But by
the same token, their joys will become your joys.
3. Let go of your desire to rush things
According to Lao Tzu “He who rushes ahead doesn’t go far.” We’ve all had those moments of being ‘In The Zone’
- where our actions happen almost subconsciously and what we are doing just flows with no friction
or conscious effort, like a well-rehearsed dance. In Taoism, this paradox of being in sync without
any effort is known as “Wu Wei”. Translated as effortless action or non-doing, Wu Wei is
not so much about ‘doing nothing’ but it is about aligning our movement with the greater
flow of life. That is what it means to be ‘in the zone’ – at one with what we are doing, in
a state of profound concentration and flow without any excessive effort or struggle. When we are in
the zone, the world around us seems to slow down, and in that space, it is as if we become
one with the very thing we are trying to do. Take for instance the example
of ‘trying’ to fall asleep. Despite our best intentions the more we try
to force ourselves into a state of relaxation, the harder it becomes. Rather, it is much more
helpful to simply let go. Staring at the clock working out how many hours sleep you can still
get or trying to ‘will’ yourself unconscious by thinking about being asleep doesn’t work and won’t
do you any good. Simply observing our thoughts as they come and go enables us to surrender
and relax as we slowly drift off in a daze. If we tune in and follow our bodies, things get
done effectively, efficiently and without extra effort. If we go against them, it takes extra time
and energy to get things done and in some cases nothing will get done, no matter how hard we try.
One can practice Wu Wei in many ways but one of the better ways is to let go of your desire to
rush things. Every time we want something, we want it at the drop of a hat. If your goal is to start
a new business and achieve financial independence, you want those clients to come now. There is an
energy of impatience that fuels our busy minds and prevents us from being present in the moment.
No matter how hard you try, there is no way that success will instantly come knocking on
your door. There is always a necessary process involved, which cannot be rushed or concentrated.
If you want to succeed, it is your duty to release those impulses and let the Tao do its work. This
natural flow of things, not only applies to our goals and visions in the professional realm - it
literally influences every aspect of our lives. If you want to become better at any skill there
will always be a series of necessary steps that you’ll need to undertake. The most precious things
cannot be attained through shortcuts. Of course, this doesn’t mean that by passively letting go
everything will fall in your lap. On the contrary, taking action is vital to achieving anything,
but it can’t come in isolation. Your actions need to be coupled with an acknowledgement of
the natural course of things. Nothing can happen earlier or later than it should have.
4. Embrace Change To quote Lao Tzu “New beginnings are
often disguised as painful endings.”
One of the great characteristics of water is that
it handles all obstacles with the greatest of ease as it flows toward its destination. Water can
adapt to any direction and also, it is not limited to its one form — it can also be steam or ice,
thereby offering even more versatility in various applications. Just like water, Lao Tzu says, we
can also be in harmony with the natural flow of the Tao, the way of the universe. For Lao Tzu,
one of the secrets of being in harmony with Tao is to accept that living means to be in
constant change. Life is like a story book, it consists of several chapters, each
bringing us different lessons and experiences. Unfortunately, our life is also governed
by inertia, which makes us fixate on the previous chapter and makes it very difficult
to move on from one chapter to the next. We are indeed creatures of habit, allergic to
change and instability. We tend to face change with dread and aversion, instead of looking at
it as something positive. But, as Lao Tzu said, we need to let go of what we were, in order to
transform ourselves into what we might become.
If you’ve lived in the same country for your
entire life, for instance, and suddenly get a job offer that can boost your professional
success, but that also means emigrating, it is entirely natural for there to be a part of you
reluctant to take the opportunity. You’re going to want to remain in the warm comfort of your own
country, spending time with the same friends and acquaintances, going to the same restaurants and
coffee shops, and having the same experiences.
Or, for example, if you break up with your
partner you can experience a great sadness, a period of grief which is very difficult
to recover from. You may find it difficult to look for another partner or even to get
out of the house and meet with your friends. This behavioural tendency tends to block
our vision of things in the long term. It is a sort of emotional myopia that impedes
us from seeing how great things can be if we are just willing to turn the page to
the next chapter. It is only by breaking out of the chains of our current circumstances
that we can unleash the potential for growth. 5. Be content with little Lao Tzu teaches us to: “Be content with
what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing
lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” Among the many things Lao Tzu was interested in,
one of the most important to him was the feeling of inner peace and harmony. This, he claims, is
impossible to attain when we are concentrated on the things that we don’t have - the myriad
material objects and earthly possessions that we think we lack. Considering the age we live in -
one where the world of social media and celebrity gossip are particularly prominent - Lao Tzu’s
sayings on this matter ring truer than ever. In today’s day and age, people live stuck to their
phone, scrolling through their sensationalised social media feeds. We’ve all stumbled across a
friend’s photo, who just happened to come back from a relaxing vacation in Hawaii, or are at
a massive party, having the time of their life. Meanwhile, we’re lying idly on our bed,
wishing we could have similar experiences. What we fail to realize, however, is that even
if we attained all those things we’re certain we desire, we would still end up unhappy.
It is our intrinsic nature that makes us constantly and perpetually desire the
things we don’t have. You might think that by getting a million dollars, you would
instantly attain a state of pure happiness, but you would be wrong. The instant you fulfill
your desire, a multiplicity of other desires will begin to pop up in your unsatisfied mind. Once
you have one million dollars, you will want ten. Once you have ten million dollars, you will
want fifty million, and so on. This pattern of craving can continue endlessly, depriving us
of the feeling of satisfaction we so deserve. This is why we must let go of our desire for
things we don’t have, and be content with the things we do. Lao Tzu advises us to “Lessen
selfishness and restrain desires”. Instead of spending so much of your time and energy wishing
you could have your friend’s expensive car, release your need and desire for those
things, and focus on what you currently have. Focus on the things that you more
likely than not, are taking for granted and underestimating. Think about the fact that as
you watch this video, you have access to pretty much anything you want on the internet, that
you are likely well fed, that you enjoy shelter, that you have relatively good
health, and many other things. It is a natural disposition of ours to turn a
blind eye to the things that we already have, and focus solely on the things we wish we could
have. You get the life partner of your dreams, for example but once you’re in a relationship
with them, you begin to take them for granted. This disposition is endemic, it is virtually
synonymous with the human condition. Yet, it is something that - with the right principles
- we can overcome. As mentioned earlier, we need to realize that we are already connected to
everything in our lives that we think are missing, such as love, happiness and inner peace, we
just have to align ourselves the right way. And one of the ways to align ourselves
is to be content with little, appreciate and be grateful for
everything we have around us. 6: Accept your flaws
In our final quote from Lao Tzu for this video, he says... “When you accept yourself,
the whole world accepts you.”
One of the core teachings of Taoism is to let
go of the need to fight against our own nature, against our own flaws and accept ourselves
for who we are. According to Taoism, when we learn to accept ourselves, to be tolerant
to our flaws and kinder to ourselves in general, when we start to treat ourselves with
more understanding and acceptance, the rest of the world will follow. They
will start to treat us better as well. The more we accept ourselves, the more
the entire world will accept us.
Many times, part of what causes us to obsess
over our imperfections and be highly focused on our flaws is the need for approval from
others. We think that if we are not perfect and if we do not have everything in order, other
people will not like us and because of this, sometimes we dislike some of our own qualities
so much that they end up clouding our view of the world. And this can happen despite the thousands
of positive characteristics that we might possess. Imperfection abounds everywhere, it is part of
our intrinsic nature. And telling ourselves that we would be happier if we could just fix
them is not a path you want to go down.
So, for example, if you feel you are overweight,
instead of tying the value that you place on yourself to your weight, you can simply
choose to release the need for control, cease resisting your flaws and accept yourself
for who you are. Choose to love yourself the way you are, and recognise the imperfections that
bother you so much. If you are overweight but you start to accept yourself and not focus so much
on this, you will gain confidence in yourself, you will treat yourself more kindly. And
now that you're presenting yourself more confidently and happily, other people will have
a better impression of you overall, and they will generally overlook your extra kilograms.
Thus, don’t try to desperately change yourself. Of course you can join a fitness centre
and be mindful about what you eat but you should not worry about the result, and it
should not be because of what others think of you or for wanting to look good. It
should be because of other benefits of exercising which makes you feel good.
Our brain is made to solve problems and if your physical appearance or a behavioural trait
is seen as a problem and you decide to solve it, you will put a lot of pressure on yourself
and will create a lot of negative energy around you which will be felt by other
people. And that is a recipe for disaster, for it only amplifies your negative qualities, and
makes you suppress your positive ones even more. Whenever you try to resist the fact that
you are not as slim as you want to be, or not as rich as your neighbour, your inner
turmoil will be let loose. It is therefore imperative upon us to take it all in. And
thus to enjoy the smooth flow of your life, make no distinctions between negative and
positive, and accept yourself completely. If you enjoyed this video, please make sure to
check out our full philosophies for life playlist and for more videos to help you find success and
happiness using ancient philosophical wisdom, don’t forget to subscribe.
Thanks so much for watching.
