🔵 TD Jakes 2021 - 10 Steps to Finding Love: What Every Single Person Needs to Know!

I've been looking forward to the opportunity to talk to you all. I believe that I've got a word that will bless you and encourage you and lift you up tonight and keep you keepin on, and I take the opportunity to talk to you seriously and I think it's important and yet I want to have some fun with you too. I don't think that because we were saved we have to be all dead and dry and stiff amen so we're just gonna have a good time tonight I've got a couple of things that television should be putting up getting ready to put up on the board for me in just a few moments but while we were doing that how many people in here are single but looking forward to getting married? I really wish I had your picture cuz we put up both hands and a foot! I see you, I see you, I see you! Make sure you make somebody hear the church so nobody will carry you away. How many of you are single and have no plans or interest in getting married, let me hear from you. single and and have no plans or interest in getting married, let me hear from you (Loud scream from a woman in the background - then laughter from the crowd) yeah yeah see see people always assume that single people want to be married that's not always true but some of them have been there and done that and got a t-shirt don't want to go back to the islands again and and and some have not been there have not done that and just don't feel called to do that and there's nothing wrong with that there's nothing wrong with being single and and I don't know about you but I get tired of people treating single people as if it were disease you know there's just nothing absolutely nothing wrong with it and I think we need to understand that and and begin to appreciate what God has done in your life no matter who you are what stage you're at in life they met I want all the single men this fan I just I'm just curious I just want to that's good that's good you may be seated us enough no commercials no advertising sit down sit after that get out rose we tried to empathize we done that yelled oh yeah I'm single y'all can't hear me I was stalling while they were working on the mic they can't hear me on the sides can you can you hear me now okay it's kind of muffled okay okay is it the way I'm situated testing testing testing can you hear me the Lord is my light and my salvation of whom shall I fear the strength of my life of whom shall I be afraid when the wicked even my enemy that my foes came upon me to eat up my flesh they stumbled and fell though a host should encamp against me my heart still not fear and the war should ride against me in this will I be confident one thing about the god of the Lord that will I seek after that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life to behold the beauty of the Lord and to enquire in his temple can you hear me now all right that's good thing that's a good thing I want to I want to just give you 10 things that every single person ought to do how many of you are part of the single's ministry if you're not a part of the single's ministry all the comings will sign you up tonight would you stand up so they could see amen you might really enjoy getting in the single's ministry getting involved in it being a part of it I believe the bless you 10 things every single person ought to do every single person ought to do and and these are these are things there are a whole lot of things that I'd like to share with you but these are ten things that I often wish I had an opportunity to say to single people some of them are things that I end up saying to married people but often it's too late so I appreciate you having an opportunity to talk to you now I believe that they'll bless you and number one number one that number one thing is to deepen your relationship with God this that's number one that's first and foremost is to deepen your relationship with God and I want I want to talk about that a little bit because that sounds it sounds practical it sounds Christian it sounds like what the pastor is supposed to say you know it's something you would assume that I would say but it actually goes a lot deeper than the surface when I start talking about deepening your relationship with God if I moved on to number two I'm not sure you would understand what I mean by deepen your relationship with God and rather than the deepen your relationship with God you would just start getting deep deep is a Christian colloquialism for being weird and so a lot of people single and married in an in an effort to deepen their relationship with God start acting deep which is just strange to compensate for loneliness to compensate for rejection to compensate for going through divorce is to compensate for traumas they just go wade deep into some strange attitude sometimes they're trying to compensate for sexual promiscuity in their past and they're afraid of themselves sometimes they're trying to compensate for sexual perversions and proclivities and so they they flee to God and when they flee to God they flee to God almost like like you take novocaine in the dentist office to numb them just just Lord don't let me be me okay but but but but that's not deepening your relationship with God that's using religion as a cover to hide from yourself and eventually it will not work because you cannot run from you you have to deal with you when I talk to you about deepening your relationship with God that the emphasis is on relationship because if you don't learn what relationship is what will happen is if you do get married you have expectations out of marriage that are not realistic and if some of it comes from not understanding what relationship really is and so you don't have healthy relationships with other people because you have not had a relationship with God a relationship to be able to relate and in order to have a relationship a relationship has to be based on honesty okay so so as I talked about deepening your relationship with God I'm talking about coming to a point in your with God that you're comfortable enough to be honest with God to talk openly about who you are to reveal who you are to finally recognize that God knows who you are even if God does not condone things that you do to separate a difference between what you have done and who you are to the point that you don't allow what you have done to define who you are I and you start you start saying things about yourself that are not true you start saying you know I am an unwed mother you know I am a lesbian I am a homosexual you know I am a promiscuous woman I am a promiscuous man and every time you say I am in front of something you make it powerful you disagree with what the Word of God has said about you and instead of what you should be saying is I am who God says I am I can do what God says I can do I can have what God says I can have I can become what God says I can become and and if there's an honesty that you develop with God where in spite of mistakes you might have made along the way maybe they weren't on that level but in some level of life all of us have made mistakes and eventually you have to have a relationship with God that is open that that that is true that is loving and that is continuous as you walk through different stages of life and if you ever develop that with God it will help you it should you ever get an opportunity to have a relationship with another person whether that other person is a mate or a child relationship skills are critical for single people because a lot of single people get married without the benefit of understanding what relationship is and then their marriages and and and relationships with children begin to crumble because they're expecting a performance-based relationship because you see your relationship with God purely as performance based God loves me because I study my novel God loves me because I pay my tithes God loves me because I go to church God loves me cut my fast twice a week God loves me because I don't smoke God loves me because I don't drink God loves me because no there are no because of there are no because there aren't there are no because it's with the love of God in fact the Bible said God commended his love toward us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us now don't go to the other extreme of that and think that means I can do whatever I want to do and just take God's love for granted because that also causes you to end up with broken relationships because anytime somebody starts loving you in the natural you start taking them for granted now you know me so you know I'm gonna come right off to hip you know there's no need enough fooling around and talking about you know going bike ride and then parasailing all that kind stuff you go for miles and workshopping get there I want to get right on down into the crux of deepening your relationship with God where you begin to understand that every relationship whether with God and people or with children have peaks and valleys highs and lows romance and normal seats there aren't there are there are moments in any relationship that they have high and intense romance and you just can't wait to get home from work and you just can't wait to see them and you just oh you're just such a wonderful parent and you're reading stories every night and you're baking cookies and you're just into being a grandmother I'm so happy to be a grandma just wonderful to have the grandchildren oh but but no relationship stays on the mountain all the time and the art of deepening a relationship is in the midst of the fluctuations of what if a normal human experience there is a stay Oh relationship that does not move though feelings go up and feelings go down if you're gonna have a continuous lifelong relationship it cannot be based upon how you feel today so when I talk to you about deepening your relationship with God I'm talking about coming to a place that your faith doesn't fluctuate and see your faith don't fluctuate I'll go deeper than that you we're not when I took because because you have so many religious connotations when I say faith doesn't flex the way you think about faith like the faith you used to move mountains but that's not what I'm talking about I'm talking about faith like your belief system doesn't fluctuate your feelings go up and down sometimes you feel like coming to church sometimes you don't sometimes you feel like praying sometimes you don't sometimes you feel like fasting sometimes you know sometimes you feel like living holy can we be real sometimes you did and if you watch people they go through cycles and when they're up they're really up and a lot of people like this don't make the distance when they get saved and they're in the church hold my god they're on fire and I can't see haaa you got brains in your hand where could you have brains in your head I thought you were the crazy real Chris your ought to do this Charlotte and when they're up their way up everybody oh I can't believe they're so carnival's people are so Karl you watch those people you look around and all of a sudden that they catch them playing with frogs or something to just who would they go all the way from one extreme all the way because they never find balance good night give me a visual deepening your relationship with God coming to the point that first of all the Bible says all things are opened before him with whom we have to do okay that doesn't mean we're proud of all things that doesn't mean we like all things that doesn't mean that he likes all things but coming to the point that you can believe that somebody could love you even with your temperament doesn't mean that you necessarily I'm not saying that all people wrestle with perversions or proclivities or extremities but just your temperament your mouth your tongue your add to all of us have something that we don't like about our sales that we would like to change and that the word speaks against and so some people have such guilt and they have such extreme opinions and such religious attitudes that they have trouble forgiving themselves they have trouble having prolonged relationships with God and they enter into human relationships with that same performance-based attitude and it doesn't work because these people have never had a long-term relationship with anybody a long-term relationship with anything anybody it could be a puppy I don't mean sex now but I mean if you have a puppy and you keep a puppy long enough they're gonna poop in the living room even though they're trained they're gonna do you gonna have problems and you don't have to learn how to love the dog while you're cleaning up the poop in the living room if you got a fish tank you got to clean out the fish tank if you have a child sometimes they make age then you find out that the one who made AIDS made it F or they skip school or they hid the homework of it and you have to in spite of the fact they did not perform well your love does not flush away even though you don't condone what they do and you have to work on what they did this is relationship and what happens if you don't deepen your relationship with God when you're up you're really in there with the Lord when you're down you don't even come around some of you have been in and out in the church 12 times in a month because you're you you are bipolar spiritually you're an extremist you're schizophrenic when you're in you're really in it everybody needs time and then you hit it and you know you hit that other side and you know I said you'll say nothing deepening your relationship with God coming to a point that you allow God to come into all the rooms of your life okay I want you to do something for me just close your eyes for a moment this for a moment and I want you to see your life as a house a big house and I want you to see all the things in your life as different rooms in the house and when company comes to the house you let them in the living room if they get to know you better they can come in the kitchen but there are some rooms in all of our houses that we don't want people to go as you see your life as rooms I want you to identify rooms that you don't let God in because as long as you treat God as company you will never have a loving long-term relationship with him as long as you are taught that everything has to be perfected before he can go through the rooms you will always lock him out of areas that only he can clean and you'll treat him like company and you'll wonder why you don't have a prolong relationship open your eyes if you're going to deepen your relationship with God honest communication prayer won't be a struggle if it becomes an honest communication I'm not talking about the stuff we do in church because I'm convinced that really is not prayer I don't have a term for it yet but that's not really pretty because if anybody ever got up in front of the church and really pray if we clean the church out I mean folks wouldn't run out of here in rows because people couldn't handle prayer real prayer Unleashed because real prayer embraces everything and some of it is not for public display it's personal there are some things I would tell god I just flatten out quote I'm not gonna tell you I ain't gonna do it no way I'm not doing it cuz I trust him I trust him in a way I don't trust you and I like you I like you I really do like you but I know you too and I know people have changed on you but God says I am the Lord that God I changed not and one of the reasons I do love him like I do it's because I've learned to trust it and you'll never learn to trust him if you always have victories because Trust isn't always proven when it is advantageous to love me Trust is developed when you have no reason or right to love me and you kept loving me anyway and you taught me to trust you because you didn't leave me and you didn't forsake me and you didn't reject me you didn't kill me and you may have tasted me you may have criticized me you may have corrected me but you didn't leave me now my faith becomes more significant to me not just something I pick up on Sunday and carry to church like a Bible it becomes a significant part of my life now I'm not running around thirsting for somebody to love me because I can begin to make wiser decisions which I'm going to talk about in a minute because I'm not so ravenous for somebody to talk to not so ravenous for somebody to stay with me not so right you know what people do in relationships when you first you know relationship this I'm so thankful for my wife I'm so thankful to be Miriam so thanks for the heavier mile I'm thankful I'm thankful I'm really thankful I'm really thinking I'm not just saying that because I'm supposed to say I'm saying it because I mean it I would hate for something to happen and I don't mean divorce or something something to happen where I end up in the situation where I were dating to give I just don't feel like having them late-night conversations I don't we can curl up we get in the bed we'd curl and go to sleep we don't have to set up all night talking about when I was six my puppy got ran over and I cried for ten days and I never did I just don't want to go through that again we know about each other's puppies if we know where all the dogs are we know that's there's something comforting about not having to do that but that is a part of relationship exposing where you came from how you got here this is why I'm afraid these are the insecurities I have this is what I was thinking that day opening up all of that builds relationship there's so many things about you that you have not talked to God about and I'm not suggesting that God won't know it to you telling but I am suggesting that you won't have a good healthy relationship with him until you develop the kind of communication where you can say my lord you know here I am there you know I'm crazy you know you know You Know Who I am and here I go again I need you to help me this it's just that time right now that I'm gonna need some extra help because you know now when I go through such a such and you know when my mother-in-law comes around when granny's soup well yeah it is that open relationships where you get God out of the living room this churchy polite superficial freeze-dried television censored Christian image that you project that makes you not want to invite God into your basement into your bedroom into your attic into the garage in the backyard into the old clothes that you should have thrown away but you've kept them to law Lord helped me to throw out some of this stuff that I've carried for years and years this is my year to work on my temper help me with my temper this is my year to work on my tongue help me with my tongue Lord I love you but I still cuts a little bit and I'm not proud of that and I'm not happy about that and this is my year to confront that in my life see people don't like me cuz I tell the truth the affair is real hallelujah deepening your relationship with God helps you to understand what relationship is so that you don't get so sick of your children your grandchildren your friends or your your companion that's coming into your life and you expect them to be Prince Charming all the time you beget in front of everybody has an attic everybody has the closet everybody has basement everybody has a bathroom in every house there is a bathroom everybody keeps some stuff that they should throw away everybody has habits that needs to be broken and you start developing realistic expectations about people about life about kids about fiance's about everything and you stop running out on people every time you find out some about them you don't like this is for single people I don't want to talk to nobody just single people I'm just just deepening your your relationship because you're single should be deeper with God than marry people that's biblical the Bible says he that is unmarried careth things of care for the things of the Lord how he might please the Lord he said he that is married careth for the things of the world how they might please her companion but when you're a single there's nobody sitting up return about there she go praying again it's ain't no time to be praying you know what time it is I'm telling you I'm telling you I'm telling you right now it's a big difference I mean any harm I don't want my wife praying all night it'd be alright once or twice but I mean you know I think okay alright that's enough that's enough he heard you he heard you okay praise the Lord we're Super Start Minister and I hated it because when my wife had to meditate be Bible doll over to bed books everywhere she'd have her all out and she'd be sitting up in the middle of the beer speaking it turns up in Lord Shiva here here please smile yeah yeah I mean she got water three days fast and the cards grasp it look if you read 1 Corinthians said he that is making for the big enough world this is the world right here at the blocks in the full of their anyway they went enough about marriages but when you're single and the Holy Spirit wakes you up in the middle of the night there's no you don't have to tip you can lay out before God let me move along hallways take me too long to move to stuff number two these are just ten things all we wanted to say to single people okay number two is seek a whole life as a single person seek a whole life as a single person to be single doesn't mean to be 3/4 or 5/16 or 1/2 or 1/4 it is not that you are a half a person waiting on a half a person to make you hold you are a whole person when the Bible says behold o israel the lord thy god is one and besides him there is no other God is saying I'm whole I'm complete within myself I don't need anybody to add anything to make me complete I am El Shaddai I am all sufficient within myself I am single I am hold look at somebody say I am single I am whole for those of you who don't want to get married that's good news because you're complete you're satisfied you're whole you're ready and you're comfortable for those who do want to get married is feel good news because if you're anything less than whole you are a deficit and it is very difficult to get anybody to award to couple with a deficit because they're going to go into the hole and operate in the red fooling with you because you're going to cling to them too tight and strangle the very life out of them because you're trying to get them to make you feel good about you and you are too heavy for me to carry a long time most of y'all in here I could carry I could pick you up and carry no STUV you in here oh wow but at a certain point I said you know what you kind of hit me you know the guy carries the girl over the threshold you know that village real romantic stuff you know but let me tell you why he lets her down and she giving an effective girlfriend is heavy you know and and you might do that in a moment of chivalry for a picture but if the flash don't work you said mama daddy no you see no matter how strong you are nobody can carry another prisoner forever so I want to challenge you to seek a whole life as a single person most single people don't live they don't live they wait they wait they just wait there just waiting just waiting there are a whole lot of things that would do there's a whole lot of things they'd like to do there's a lot of places they'd like to go there's a lot of times they want to go out to dinner there's a lot of times they want to get into some auxilary or get into some extracurricular activity but they're just waiting they just come home from work and wait just waiting and then when nothing happens they get frustrated nobody's calling me I can't believe I can't believe you tell me consider down seek a whole life as a single person you are not on hold you are not waiting you're not on hold God didn't leave you on hold waiting on somebody to get back to you seek a whole life now people are attracted to people who are busy living nobody's attracted to a corpse well there are a few people but it's not a whole lot and it's got a mirror your chance is down drastically when you start walking around like you're dead and there are a lot of people who do walk around like they're dead I can't understand why nobody's attracted to me let me tell you what it's because you're cold and stiff and and rigor mortis has set in and nothing is happening in your life and you're waiting on somebody to come by and ring the doorbell like a Fuller Brush man and if they're gonna discover you in and pick you up a snack that's not happening see I want you to seek a whole life as a single person and a whole life for each one of you means something different for somebody it means arch for somebody it means drama for somebody it means please for for somebody it means going ski in for for somebody it means taking up some other kind of hobby it means different things to different people I can't tell you what causes you to have a whole life because that's your business and you have to keep going out there and trying different stuff until you find stuff that brings you fulfillment and gives you a sense of completeness Sika whole life are you living a whole life in the absence of somebody else to tell you you a nice-lookin do you tell yourself because contrary to proper belief a great deal of attractiveness comes from within self perception how you feel about you seeking a whole life as a single person should be one of your assignments for this year I'm going to have a whole life how much of my time am i spinning just sitting around looking sad and dead and waiting thinking about people who are gone and people who are dead people who left and people got remarried people you dated ten years ago and people who didn't like you and somebody said you was unattractive and there were some living on and on in your head and you're not living your life every day God gave you is a gift that he is giving you to enjoy seek our whole life as a single person whatever your interests are whatever you like to do whatever you would do if you had somebody to do it with do it now because if you're ever going to meet somebody who has that same inclination they're gonna be out there doing it too they're not going to be sitting in the house which brings me to number three develop interest beyond work home school and church nothing wrong with any of that you got to go to work if you're in school you got to go to school thank God you got a home I'm glad you come to church but what else what else what are the interests what what do you what do you want to do these things make you an interesting person these things give you something to talk about there's nothing worse than going out on a date with somebody who have nothing the faith you know what are you thinking about what are you thinking about math I'm thinking about you well I already know me have step of the bite shows it's alright you know I already know me are you thinking anything else are you do you think anything about world affairs do you think anything about government do you think anything about life do you think anything about brain stem cell research do you think anything else develop interests interests make you interesting interests make you interesting if you have no interests you can't be interesting and you sink down to numb minded people and become intimidated around people of thought and then you marry some non minded person and a year into the maze you say well you know what he was fine but he was a numb boring uninteresting person and as soon as I got used to having sex and orgasm and somebody to curl up with I got sick of him well you helped pick him because you will get used to everything else and if you're gonna have a 20-year 30-year relationship there has to be something else to talk about nothing you so fast oh god you find you show is fat I've never seen then there's my did you that's all right for Wow develop I don't I don't have any interests develop them develop interest go see what you like go outside of your little circle and just go what your mom and dad what your grandmama did what your auntie did what John Selman didn't let them try some different so Y second I believe that you tried you don't like it I mean that they don't kill you because you don't do it well go skiing on a small slope just like three steps disco take the swimming class take up a hobby go back to school take a night player learn how to operate a computer just just develop something that gives you some interest so that you're not just sitting around waiting broaden your life life is big life is huge life is broad eat something that you didn't eat when you grew up try it just try it it's too precious to be waited to be wasted just waiting number four exercise your body and your mind exercise your body and your mind this is not just for appearance sake this is for longevity this is for stress management this is so that stress doesn't overwhelm you this is so you can sleep at night this is so that you can enjoy you this is so that you you begin to recognize that you're important if I'm not trying to get everybody to be thin I don't think everybody has to be a five six I don't think everybody has to have a 32 waist like you Jesus I don't think that where to go I don't think that but I do think that every day God gives you you need to exercise this house you're gonna live in so do something with it so that life doesn't crack you and crush you with pressures and stress and the only bit you have this sex exercise your body exercise your mind read read read something other than the cartoons read and and and I appreciate reading the Word of God I believe in reading the Word of God I believe in reading religious material that's that's a part of exercise but but read everything read of the things read all kind of thing where you can know what's going on exercising your mind so your mind then starts shrinking down to live because when your mind starts shrinking down to little things your flesh starts taking over it just takes over not just in terms of less it just takes over it just takes over because nothing nothing anything that's not exercising begins to wither and you stop thinking and just stop having an opinion and you don't know what they're talking about and you become intimidated and it's it narrows your circle and then then you're trapped in a little cocoon with little people who think little things and then you end up marry one of them and then you say you're a little this is true this is I'm telling you the truth well this is number six number five avoid people who seek to control and silence your personality avoid people who seek to control and salads or personality these these soul times these domineering people who come into your life and manipulate you and control you and smother you and won't let you breathe and won't let you be yourself avoid those kinds of relationships are claustrophobic relationships that single people are vulnerable to because when you have a companion a companion will always wave a red flag say something wrong with that girl wait a minute wait a minute something wrong with him something that doesn't make any sense you you didn't need that seat when you have somebody in your life to help you say that person is controlling that axis ways you begin to get the power to say no to them but in the absence of that other person you have to cover your own back void people who seek to control and silence your personality these don't have to be intimate relationships these can be male male female female it can be grandmama that can be coworkers people who just just smother you to you you're you you're just claustrophobic and you can't breathe and you can't think you have to like what they like you have to eat what they eat you have to go where they go and if you don't do it it's something wrong with you and they're quick to give you their opinion about everything as if their opinion was right just tell me I don't agree with you I just don't agree with you you know I like read on me if that's what it is you know I like you know why you wear blue cuz I like blue same reason you got on yellow oh yeah avoiding these things are important they're they're important even if the person is using scriptures it makes no difference what they use don't be manipulated by anything am i helping anybody number six respect marriage respect marriage I want to just start with that one phrase respect marriage when you know somebody's married don't be all up in their face it's like just insecure no you just went too far give yourself a little test when you find yourself becoming critical you like the one person but you're very critical of the companion start examining your modes because whatever they got they got that going on it you really don't have anything to do with it and so if you find yourself being real opinionated about their relationship you probably have gotten too far over into there and respect me it's just her not on because when you get somebody you're gonna act funny when people are all up in their face and inappropriately and they're falling all over their respect marriage while you're single so you don't have to reap that and when I say respect marriage abetting that includes being some spare tire somebody who gets seen every few months and all that kind stuff it getting conferences all of that and it even goes down to how you conduct yourself around people that that are married you're just respected that means you can't be nice can't be polite can't do business but there are certain lines you don't cross because you wouldn't want anybody to treat your interests like that so-and-so you respect that respect marriage but do not worship it don't worship it don't worship marriage as if it is in all of what life is because if you were single and you you worship the idea of marriage when you if you ever do get married it won't live up to your idea and when it doesn't live up to your idea every time you find something that deliver to your idea you'll quit because you must understand that God's name is jealous the Bible says that the Lord is is that it's name is jealous and that he will have no other gods before and certain people worship marriage they worship having somebody in their life they make an idol out of having other people they worship the idea of marry and you're never gonna find anybody you're looking for mr. right and miss right they don't exist they're not they're the closest you're gonna get is mister almost and miss pretty close and if you get about there thank the Lord respective but don't worship it are you ready for the next one this one's really gonna get you now live and budget within your means when you are in debt it affects your personality your contentment your happiness it makes you make poor decisions because you need help and see you got a you got a temporary problem and you make a permanent decision because you're in a temporary cramp and you allow you allow dollar signs to control your attractions whereas if you just live within your means that would be better to live within your means so that you could make an intelligent decision not based on well how much money do you make Todd met a man he got a call of a table about that car he drove up and what different doesn't make the car three or four years it'll be old he'll still be there if you live within a budget and you budget and live within your means you don't have to make decisions based on your excesses second thing you're not looking for some Messiah to get you out of trouble is any of this helpful let me hurry up number eight set a guard on your heart I can stay on this all night I've set a guard on your heart set a guard on your heart the Bible said the peace of God will keep your heart and mind the peace of God will keep the word keep in greek means to guard it will guard your heart and mine the peace of God will guard your heart and mind set a guard on your heart stop allowing your heart to be carried away with every compliment every nice for anybody who smiles all of a sudden your heart starts entering into all of these ideas and fantasy then you just start going and and you don't protect your heart you see the church always teaches people to protect your body but we don't teach people to protect their heart we teach them not to fall into fornication but we don't talk about soul ties and people who get connected emotionally and people who cry themselves to sleep and people who are in these one-sided love affairs and they're carried away with these secret attractions in there they're all upsetting they're in turmoil and they pick at themselves and they've frustrated themselves always wanting something that's not there or seeing something in somebody that they don't see in themselves and you have to guard your heart you know when your heart is getting carried away you have to talk to yourself beat when the Bible says be sober it's not talking about no no it's time about not allowing yourself to become intoxicated with anything be sober it says be vigilant for your adversary goeth about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour guarding your heart you'd be surprised at the people in this room right now whose heart is broken whose heart is broken because you didn't guard your heart you know what will help you to guard your heart when you start valuing yourself you start valuing yourself you start saying wait a minute I'm important to hold up here I can't quote it exactly the way King James where they said but David said I don't fool with things that are too half for me there's certain things uh-uh no no no you idiot that's going too far that's a statement I can't do that that's like kryptonite to Superman you kryptonite I'm Superman by guarding your heart guarding your heart out of your heart flows the issues of life your heart must be protected stop allowing your your heart to be carried away by every little person who comes along any little stranger keep your heart from ghosts keep your heart from ghosts things that used to be alive but they're dead stop falling in love with ghosts if it's over it's over guard your heart get your heart back start talking to God God help me with my heart help me with my emotions help me with my memories my memories are tormenting me bring my memories up under subjection so that I can sleep tonight you have to be able to talk to God you have to be able to talk to God not to be able to talk to God God help me God help me with myself lift my mind up set my affections on things that are a book mumma guard your heart card your heart when you see your heart being carried away you have to snatch it and bring it in you can't look just an answer but don't hurt me don't hurt me don't hurt me you know what they go do they go over to you they go hurt you I'll tell you right now I'm your pastor I'm Debbie bingo new bingo urge you if you dive out of a 20-story building you are going to get hurt don't jump don't jump don't get close to the edge you can't fly don't try I just believe the go catch me another guard your heart number nine managing sexual appetites is an acquired behavior I heard you the first time it's an acquired behavior it's an acquired behavior how many of you have ever noticed people who love to eat now you can't always tell by the size because I've seen some single people some little bitty people I need some teeny weenie people who could give me some oh it's the bald top of there and you think where are you putting all of this they have huge appetites I've seen other people who were quite large but they didn't eat very much and I wonder honey where did they get them because they didn't really don't eat that much so you can't tell by the outside the intensity of the appetites and we all don't have the same appetites for food so we don't all have the same appetites for anything else but we all do have an appetite so you have to manage your appetite is that a struggle more so for some people than it is for others for some people that's a major struggle and you know if you smell food now you know I'm really not talking about food but you correct with other is there anybody in here who if you just eat a cookie put the pups out on your jaw your lips start getting fed I mean other people can eat an entire cheesecake if you have unusual nice insane usual large appetites there's certain situations you can't get in you can't go there would you look at somebody saying you can't go there came to my tale but by looking appetites no show on your face how many of you know your own appetite managing those appetites will keep you out of trouble managing takes effort management takes longevity and it's not easy and things get mismanaged and you have to work to get them back managed and it's an ongoing process this is not natural this doesn't come with just praying until I pray internist child that's what I do I just you know some a us I take vitamin C I take vitamin C you know I take milk bath that's what I do if I got a different recipe let me tell you something when you can do doing all of that you have to manage your appetite and that just appear though who you are what your struggles are what your past was what your childhood was like and everybody has different things they have to manage and everybody has something different they're allergic to we're the real people number 10 I just got one more I'll get out of here is this helpful to anybody try not to make decisions that complicate your life try not to make decisions that complicate your life sure you can make it with the baby sure you can survive it but it sure will complicate your life yes there are people living with AIDS but if you talk to them they will tell you it sure did complicate their life there are people who are survivors surviving living with herpes but it sure did complicate their life there are people who made it through a divorce but it sure did complicate their life try not to make decisions that complicate your life what did you do is I just quit my job where you can work I don't know I just quit where you quit but it sure did wouldn't it have been easier to get another job first and then make a transition to a pre-planned decision try not to make decisions that complicates your life if you know you're prone to have relationships and I'm talking about falling in love with people you know how you aren't awhile you kind of know how you are and you say okay come out of it yeah a little slap in the face you just you know try not to make decisions that complicate your life your life as a single person will be happier and whole if you keep it simple just keep it simple just keep it simple just keep it simple not complicated not stressed out not weird not strange just try to not to make decisions that complicate your life stop putting yourself in situations to see if you can get out of them I'm strong I come out that's what Houdini see and then one day he got out of a whole lot of them try not to make decisions that complicate your life your grandmama great-grandmama your gonna take you in the baby agree grandbaby try not to make decisions that complicates your life 75 may not be the best time to take you in a new boy I know somebody needs to take me and I know something needs to be done but try not to make decisions that complicates your life and you running behind a toddler with a walker am i telling the truth though I mean sometimes a good heart and get you in trouble your good hearted person but try not to make decisions that complicate your life I want to check something I wrote and we gotta go home to nobody I was preaching and saying quit and I said I'm long-winded I said there's no matter cuz y'all I got nowhere to go where you got to go bro that's debate I just kept on a road let me let me tell you what causes the greatest attractions between people to recover for greatest attractions between people beyond visuals which is superficial it's when somebody sees something in you that you don't see in yourself and the way they look at you makes you feel special and you need to see them look at you because you long to see what they see when they look at you anyway enough dramatization let me explain why give this every trouble there's only one part of them so I'll tell you I've been all over the world if you have degrees if if you could only see in yourself what you are so fascinated in other people seeing you will begin to discover through your own eyes the gift that God has in you see ultimately it is not so important what you see when you look at me I will rise or fall over what I see when I look at me the Bible said we were in our own sight as grasshoppers and so were we in their sight it means that if I see myself as a grasshopper ultimately I will convince other people that I am a grasshopper if I see myself as a giant killer ultimately other people will see me as a giant killer if I see myself as a survivor other people will see me as a survivor if I see myself as valuable other people will see me as valuable and they'll start saying stuff like I didn't think he was so much at first but you know he kind of grow on you what it really is is that all of a sudden they see your confidence your self-esteem your tenacity how you feel about you you have to believe there is something inside of me so valuable that anybody who rejects me has robbed themselves you have to feel like that leaving me would be such a deficit that to lose me will leave you bankrupt you have to feel like that inside of your self are you understanding what I'm saying this has nothing to do with externals I've seen people who were outside they were extremely attractive but inside they felt like nothing so-so Bishop how do I build this without desperately looking in people's eyes to see you what do you see of me what do you see me what are you scared me who do you save it what do you see me because some of you are just on a mad search to find somebody who see something in you that makes you feel wonderful and and your search could end tonight your search could end oh god good karma feel the presence of God your search could end tonight if you look in your word you would find that you are fearfully and marvelously me that you are created in Christ Jesus on the good works that you are created in the likeness and the image of God that you have treasure in you that you haven't even touched yet you have things in you you haven't even done yet you have talents in you you haven't even touched yet you don't even know whether you can fly helicopter or not you didn't try you don't even know whether you could ski or not you didn't try you don't know whether you can learn calculus or not you didn't try tell somebody tell them I got some bad stuff in me baby oh yes yes yes yes yes oh yes I got all kinds of rooms and closets and drawers I got things nobody's touched yet I got these people haven't even seen yet I've got talents I have been found myself I'm exploring my stuff I feel checking me out you don't leave for somebody you don't need somebody to make you feel special you are special be another Oh y'all don't understand you have chef hat maybe this is not the only way but this is one of the ways you if you ever add any but die that you cared about and for a long time after they died you look for them in other people and eventually you have to conclude that they are not there occasionally you run into people that remind if you've ever been through that you begin to understand that you are one of the time when I'm gone that's it you'll never replace me there'll never be another meet in the world nowhere in the deepest part of Africa in the tips of Russia in the peaks of Paris you'll never find another meet when God made me do you know that about you talking about arrogance I'm talking about confidence I'm talking about knowing who you are I'm talking about thinking God for you thinking God for wedding-day God for you yes once you stand to your feet for a moment just this form of a stand to your feet I don't want you to join hands tonight we normally do that Jordan hands requires that you find something through touching somebody else I don't want you to do that tonight I want you to wrap your arms around yourself if you are at all a spiritual person if you'll just sense a minute there's something there's life for strength in you there's grace there's power in you there are talents in you you're single but you're you're whole you're single means you would be an except you add you make it y'all don't hear what I'm saying and anybody that you ever thought would be made better because you added something wrap your arms around yourself love your neighbor the Bible says that you love yourself if you don't love you can't love your neighbor you can't keep asking God to send somebody into your life until you learn how to preach if the talent there are many talents many gifts many creative concepts depth inside of you you don't need anybody to look at you to unlock God looked at you he blessed you and created you as you wrap your arms around yourself I'm going to pray that God bless what you hold aware of how much you're holding when you're holding yourself but teach you how to appreciate what he put inside of you as you wrap your arms around yourself I'm going to ask God to remove every Idol out of your life every tonight whether you've idolized an idea a concept a companion a person anything that has become an idol in your life I'm going to ask God to bring it down wrap your arms around your sin your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost there will be no idols in this body this body belongs to God from the crown of your head to the sole of your feet your your thoughts are reflection of God creat the power slide down inside of you when you yield yourself to the Holy Spirit Vince the bull why would you need a creature when you have the create or to strengthen you and to bless you o God Lord it would fold ourselves tonight I pray that ministry would happen all over this room I pray that healing would happen all over this room there are people who are holding themselves who have not liked themselves who've been disappointed in themselves who have failed and frustrated themselves there are people in this room of tragedies that they've allowed to define them from abuses that have hindered them there are some people in this room who have been held up and aching in their spirit over things and I and it's over and they still haven't been freed from it there are people in that we're still trying to resolve issues relive incidents that are past and they can't change them there are people in this room who are holding themselves right now who have abused their bodies through sex or through alcohol a room who are struggling right now because they have not appreciated themselves they have taken things into their bodies that have hurt their bodies their organs their cells their tissues their muscles and their mind as we stand here holding ourselves we repent in your presence we repent Lord for how we've taken our own life for granted how could anybody value me if I don't value myself hallelujah you brought us out here tonight because you wanted to speak into our spirits because he wanted to build up places that were torn down and tattered and hurting I pray God in the name of Jesus that you will begin to build up every man and every woman in this room build them where they've been broken build them where they've been hurting heal them where they've been afraid comfort them I pray that the anointing of the Holy Spirit would cost their souls to soar and their spirits to leap hallelujah let praise gush out of them like a river let it break forth like a flood let it rip out in a tidal wave up out of their spirits let living water flow right now in the name of Jesus hallelujah hallelujah you

Channel: Sheryl Speaks

Views: 584,158

Rating: 4.8086519 out of 5

Keywords: TD Jakes 2021 Motivational Video, T.D. Jakes 2021, TD Jakes Sermons, Bishop T.D. Jakes Sermons, T.D. Jakes sermons, td jakes motivational speech, inspirational speech, find love, what every single person needs to know, single people, motivation, inspiration, motivational videos, inspirational videos, become successful, jakes, bishop jakes, potters house, sermons, advice for singles, how to find love, td jakes committment, love, sheryl speaks, TD Jakes 2021, relationships, 2021

Id: TMqG8toFouU

Length: 79min 24sec (4764 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 05 2018