You'll Be Glad You Did┃"Get Out, Stay Out & Clean Out"

hi I'm Andy Stanley if your facebook status says single or perhaps it's complicated and you'd like to change that stick around you'll be glad you did [Music] at every stage in life there are things that we should do that sometimes we don't do and then in the next stage of life we look back and say oh I wish I had I wish I had in other words one way to put it this way that the present becomes the past that shapes your future that the present right now eventually becomes the past a year from now this will today will be a year in the past which ultimately shapes our future and we've all lived long enough to know there are things we wish we had done there are things that we are glad that we did some of us had great people in our lives spoke into our lives and kind of gave us a heads up and you look back and you're like gosh it didn't make sense at the time but I'm so glad my dad told me that I'm so glad my first boss told me that I'm so glad a teacher told me that I'm so glad a coach told me that you know whatever it was and then again we look back and go oh I wish I'd listened I wish I'd listened the interesting thing about this whole you'll be glad you did thing is at the end of Jesus most famous sermon the Sermon on the Mount he actually he addresses this this dynamic and here's how he said it he said this he said therefore everyone who hears these words of mine this is at the end of that you know that meant that sermon everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice that is everybody who hears what I'm saying and then does it is like a wise man who built his house on a rock he tells this parable this guy built a house on the rock another guy built his house on the sand remember the song we won't sing it today and then later not immediately later a storm came and the guy who built his house on the rock was so glad he built his house on the rock because it was stood the storm the guy that built his house on the sand wished he'd built his house on the rock because his house did not withstand the storm so Jesus points to this whole idea that you know what there are things that you do in this generation there are things you do in this stage of life and if you get it right at the end of the day you look back and go oh I'm so glad I did and in his case he basically said if you will follow what I teach and if you will apply these words of mine then when you loo back on your life ago I'm so glad that I did for those of you are single I want to take what I would probably say to you if I was sitting down over coffee and this comes from the New Testament this is New Testament teaching that I'm sort of picking and choosing to say hey but if you're in that stage of life where you're single this is so appropriate for you when I say single I mean like you've never been married or you've been married and you're out of that marriage or maybe you're out of two marriages and you're between marriages when I say single it's like you don't ever want to get married because you've been there and done that or you never been buried and you know some married people and you're like I like single problems better than married problems so you're not even looking for the love of your life you are so extraordinarily content you get to spend your money any way you want to spend it you get to live where you want to live if you don't like somebody you just move on with your life and you're content being single so this is for those of you who hope one day to move from single status to couple status and this is her those of you who are single that just love being single here are three things straight out of the New Testament you're not gonna love them but that's okay you may not even like me when we're done that's okay as well but I want you to at least consider these three things because I'm absolutely convinced you will be glad you did now I'm going to go ahead and give them to you all up front here we go three things number one get out of debt number two stay out of bed and number three clean out your closet any questions all right you're dismissed take see you next week well that's it get out of debt stay out of bed clean out your closet so let's talk about each one of these are real quick get out of debt let me tell what I mean by that I mean like if you're in you're in debt get out now I'm not talking about your mortgage even if you're upside down in your mortgage I'm talking about that dumb debt okay I'm talking out the credit card debt that dumb debts you know its food it's it's just the stuff that you're like I need to pay this off how did it get so big for some of you at school loans and I'm all for school loans but you're 35 okay you still had this partner it's my school loan partner I take it with me wherever I go and the interest rate was so low and you just keep dragging that thing around and you know you need to pay it off or you're in a car you shouldn't be driving or maybe you did buy something you didn't buy or your of least you've leased a house and you know it's causing you to have to borrow money for the necessities of life and you just have yourself a little bit of a mess financially if you're single get out of that kind of debt now there's two reasons I'm picking on you because this is true for everybody but it's especially true for those of you who were single and there's a couple reasons and you're not even gonna believe this but you just ask anybody who's been married five years or longer they'll tell you this is true it will never be easier for you to get out of debt than it is right now you're going on oh no no no no it'll be it'll be easier if I meet the love of my life and I go from single to couple nope you it will never be easier for you to get out of debt than right now just ask somebody if you think it'll be easier there's one exception I'll get to in just a second but for 99 percent of you it is it'll never be easier now let me tell you why this is such a big deal because your financial bad habits or your bad financial habits will eventually if you're not careful become somebody else's financial problem and even if you're not looking for the love of your life and even if you're not looking for that special someone and even if you're not interested in getting married hopefully if I had my wish for you hopefully that's gonna happen for you even if you just haven't been lucky in the past and when it happens you don't want this coming with you because I got to tell you it makes you less attractive I mean you're so cute right now and when he finds out you've got $12,000 with the credit card debt that becomes the filter she was really attractive till I found out about her $12,000 of credit card debt I'm like you know she's not so keen after all she's got that little thing right here didn't bother me before and I got that bill up there and you know I gone you know I'm serious I mean he thought your car she thinks your car is so hot you know it's so great then she finds out that you owe $30,000 and she's like you think my parents bought a house for if they're what you owe what and all of a sudden you're just not so hot anymore it makes you less attractive in your financial bad habit we'll eventually has the potential to become somebody else's financial problem you're gonna love Andi but I'm not even in a relationship I'm not even looking than telling you you keep dragging that thing around it's going to show up in a relationship and eventually you have to introduce your debt into the relationship so just go ahead and decide I'm gonna get out of debt because eventually you know you have it you know you start dating you gets more and more serious and you kind of have this secret out here because that's what happens because you don't want to talk about it's a secret but eventually you have to say hey I need to introduce you to somebody who comes with me you thought it was just me but I got to friends you you you know you get in a relationship with me you got to meet you've heard of Lord Grantham this is MasterCard okay MasterCard comes with me and this is my Miss school debt say hi to miss school debt if you get me you get both of these we there's gonna be four of us in this relationship right you don't want to do that we do you want to do that you don't have to do that you could decide today you know what I am getting out of debt now the one you know the 1% of you they think you know I've got this all worked out because you're thinking now I'm gonna carry my friends the debt twins you know with me wherever I go and then I'm gonna meet somebody and when we get in a relationship you know when they're all legally bound up with me and I kind of say oh yeah there were something I forgot to tell you then they're gonna pay off my credit card and pay off my card pay off my debts I'm gonna meet somebody and they're gonna be the solution to my financial problems again you just ask somebody who's been married five years and more how they think that's gonna play because one of two things is true either you don't tell them til it's too late and then you have a marriage problem and if you think single problems are bad you ain't seen nothing that you had a marriage problem and you bring yourself a big old eyes to the marriage oh there was one thing I forgot to tell you listen in marriage in a permanent relationship going forward you don't want any not none not any surprises so at some point you got to tell him and at some point you got to tell her so why not decide now you're not gonna have that story to tell now the question that always comes up is but how and here's how I would I would say - how you are smart people you can figure it out people don't stand it because they don't know how to get out but they stay in debt because they don't have the discipline to get out it's a single people you have an opportunity that will go away because it will only get more complicated and it will only get more difficult over time besides part of getting out of debt is developing new financial habits and new financial habits are a good thing to follow you into the future the old debt is a bad thing to follow you in to the future so get out of debt now's the time get out of debt you will be glad that you did alright number two stay out of bed now what do I mean by this you know what I mean by this okay stay out of bed here's mirrors here's what I put that on there the Apostle Paul the Apostle Paul who wrote letters to all these churches that he had planted he planted in the first century around the Mediterranean rim he wrote letters to into cities that had sexual sexualized cultures that dwarf even what we experienced in the United States and even in the modern Western world I mean in Corinth for example I'm going to read you a piece of a letter he wrote to the church in Corinth in Corinth I mean imagine this imagine men who owned slaves imagine owning women ok don't imagine it for very long okay some men owned women there were no rules there were no laws they were property not only that if they got tired of their slaves they went to church they went down to the pagan temple where they had paid in temple prostitutes so part of going to church not really but part of going to temple was all these sexual things that went on that they paid for these temple prostitutes so this was a very very sexualized culture so when I read to you what he wrote to the the Christians in Corinth if your temptation is to push back and go well that's old and that's the Bible they don't understand 21st century culture I'm telling you what they faced in that day Dwarfs even what we faced in our very sexualized culture today but in this little statement the Apostle Paul doesn't just say don't do it okay the Apostle Paul gives us a reason and gives us an insight into the nature of man that is so extraordinary complex but it's so extraordinarily insightful here is a statement that we could go for hours on because it's so extraordinarily true here's what he said he said flee from sexual immorality and that's what you expect a preacher to say flee from sexual immorality what why Paul and then listen to what he says all other sins all means like all okay all other sins a person commits are outside the body but in other words in contrast to all other categories of sins now don't hear me say something he's not saying he's not saying sexual sin is worse than all of their sins he's saying that sexual sin is different than all other sins and you know something you already know that you already know that you already know that for many of you your greatest regret as bad as you've wasted some money is not about money you know there's something about abusing sexuality about expressing sexuality in an inappropriate way you know that it just kind of follows you around it's like it's like no other category it's the difference between being beat up and being raped they're not even in the same category because there's something about our sexuality that's far deeper than what's simply physical it goes deeper than what's simply physical it's like no other arena of your life all other sins and person commits are outside the body but whoever sent sexually sins against their own body in other words when you sin sexually when you are irresponsible with their expressions of your sexuality are you ready for the the Miss 2,000 years ago Paul says you hurt your self he says there are many sins you can commit and you feel bad about it and you pay people back and you say you're sorry and you move on he's this but when you sin sexually you hurt your self so what would you expect God who loves you to say accept flee immorality no that's true of all of us if you're a Christian if you're a Christ follower then he speaks directly to you and to me he says this do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who is in you whom you have received from gods is therefore in other words logical conclusion since you belong to God honor God with your bodies honor God with your bodies if you're a Christ follower if you're a Christ follower I know you may be the only person you know who decides to do this if you're a Christ follower you have been called that I have been called to honor God with our bodies in the context for honor God with your bodies is as it relates there's to your sexuality and your expressions sexuality so if I'm looking at you eyeball to eyeball across the coffee table I said look as a single person stay out of bed honor God make it a habit of honoring God with your body you will be glad you did just as in some cases you are already sorry that you didn't and it's not that God is some kind of cosmic killjoy I mean we can't even imagine this God if you're a Christian here's what we believe in fact your fear of any religion here's what you believe whether you've thought about it or not God created sex he's not against it he made it once upon a time there was none and once upon a time anyway well I've got a great idea and the angels are like what he's like you're not gonna understand this check this out he made it Wow he made it and he says now I made it it's fragile it's awesome it's dangerous honor me with your body now if this whole thing just seems so onerous and you're like okay our Andy I don't think I'll ever get married again so are you saying I don't ever have sex for the rest of my life now let's let's just take it one year at a time would you be willing to honor God with your body by making a commitment not to date for a year just a year to kind of clear your mind to give God an opportunity to do something unusual and if you do let me tell you what's going to happen at the end of that year you will see yourself differently especially if you've been a relationship after relationship after relationship and guys for you dating means results and leads to sex if it doesn't lead to sex you move on to something else and part of you is going that's not right part of you is going it's natural and you've got some kind of way that you know support your decisions hey that's between between you and God but you know you know that you're in a Rhett are ladies even for you there's this sense in which you know it's what people expect it's the culture we lived in you kind of convinced yourself but something inside of you relationship after relationship after relationship there's something inside of you going I know this isn't right would you be willing to take a year from today and decide no dating for me and if you do here's what's gonna happen at the end of that year you're gonna see yourself differently you're gonna see other people differently and most importantly you're gonna see God differently and here's how I know that Jesus said something that was so profound I've never preached on it because I'm sure I can't even begin to tease out the significance of this statement here's what he said and I know it's true I this is so true he said this blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God and although I don't know everything that means I know this is what it means that there is clarity that comes with moral purity is clarity that comes with moral purity that you can't gain any other way and here's how some of you know that's true because as you have been more and more sexually involved from relationship to relationship the relationship you know that you live with a bit of a fog things aren't as clear to you as they used to be because there is a clarity that comes with purity that jesus promised that I can't explain but a year from today a year from tonight you'll know if you're willing to stay out of bed and I guarantee you this you will be glad that you did last one's clean out your closet and what do I mean by that I'm talking about that stuff in your personality that makes you a little bit weird okay I mean you get angry too quickly your incident there's certain things that make you feel so insecure you just know why am i so insecure and you beat yourself up why am I so insecure there's certain things that there's a jealousy thing there's a rage thing I mean there are things about you you know that aren't quite right but because you're single you manage around them because you're single if your roommate pushes your buttons you get a new roommate if your boss pushes your button you get a new job anybody the tennis partner or whatever it is you know you're around people and they just kind of tweak you a little bit you just manage around them and you're able to because you're single but at some point I hope you fall in love and at some point I hope you meet the love of your life and at some point I hope you have a happily ever after but I'm telling you if you don't deal with the stuff in your closet now you will deal with it in marriage and just ask anybody who's been married more than 35 minutes okay it is way here to deal with your stuff single than it is married because here's what's gonna happen I will predict your future whatever your stuff is that you're got in your closet you know when it comes out you will blame your partner you will blame your partner you will blame your partner and you have an opportunity that no married person has you have an opportunity to deal with it as a single person here's what I mean by that it's the current issues it's the current issues caused by past events it's those current issues those things that you know about yourself that you kind of dodge and work around but you know there's somehow connected to your past now is the time to work on them Jesus says that those things come from your heart Jesus says those things come from your heart that the food that goes in your mouth isn't a problem it's what comes out of your mouth that's a problem and Jesus says all of those things that come out of your mouth those things that you know the slander and the words and the anger and he says all of that's a heart issue and you as a single person have an opportunity to deal with those heart issues now before you drag them like you're dragging a financial issue into a future relationship here's the deal it'll never be easier and you will never be less motivated it'll never be easier once you get into a relationship it gets more complex because you've got another person to blame but you'll never be less motivated because right now as a single person you're able to navigate around all of those things rattling around on the inside of you it'll never be easier you'll never be less motivated but if you will begin to deal with that stuff now you will be glad you did none of this is a surprise okay and I know this okay you know I I don't have any control over your life and I'm not even I can't even really tell you what to do it's up to you so you sit and you listen to something like this and go okay that debt thing ya need to get rid of that car you know okay I need to work on that credit card you know I need to work on that that whole sex thing you're crazy okay and then that that you know I know I've got an anger issue I've got an anger issue okay I know I have an anger issue okay I don't have any okay I might have an anger issue okay I need to work on that so you know you kind of pick and choose you know and here's here's let me just now that you know you're thinking so let me push back on you okay here's the thing even if you're not looking to get into a relationship even if you've been so burned in the past you're done I hope you fall in love I don't care how old you are or what your I hope you fall in love I hope you find your soul mate I hope you go from single to couple I hope you go go to happily ever after I hope that for you but here's what I know if you aren't willing to deal with these three things then when you meet the potential love of your life in that moment as you begin to move toward that relationship and as you begin to move toward maybe making it permanent you become something that you hate you become a hypocrite and you don't like hypocrites but if you refuse to work on this list you become a hypocrite and here's why because when you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with you know what you're gonna hope you're gonna hope that they've gotten out of debt stayed out of bed and clean out their closet I mean isn't that the dream list I mean don't you want to hear oh yeah yeah my car well I had a really nice car but you know what I got so tired of this car payments and I decided about a year ago I'm getting out of debt I don't have any debt check like that you know you're a little short for me but you just got taller okay that's awesome no debt the guy has in fact I pay I fact I got so committed you know I paid off my house paid off house I'll even deal with the hair okay right isn't that what you want to hear I mean do you really want to hear no debt forget you what do you mean you have no debt get out of here see in this in this area alone why would you refuse to work on yours when you're gonna hope they've worked on theirs what about this one well you know I came out of college and had a boyfriend I moved in with him and we stayed together about a year and a half and I thought you know what this isn't right and I I moved out that was about six years ago and I just I'm just I know it's weird but I just have it you know I just haven't that hasn't been a part of my life since like that story how about this one well you know I'm my parent my parent my parents marriage was a train wreck and I always got came out of there divorced I was so angry and I realized I just can't so you know what I know this is kind of embarrassing but I spent two years and counseling paid for with my own money because and I'm just I just felt like I'm free from that I mean nobody's looking for a woman with daddy wounds you have daddy wounds I'm not interested you almost somebody comes into this relationship roar and angry and blames me for everything she's mad at her dad about that's what I'm looking for well I hate my mother well you're the guy I'm looking you're my guy I want to a guy who hates his mother will hate her together then you can hate me it'll be awesome cuz you're accustomed a lot of turmoil in your home so we'll have a lot of hours it'll be perfect [Music] I'll say is this if this is good news for the person you might meet someday why not become the person you're looking for why not become the person you're looking for now just think a minute if there really is a God who's a personal God who like knows your name if there really is a God who created you and didn't just like create humanity and then went off to do something else but like somehow is involved with you what would a God who loves you say other than hey get out of debt hey you know stay out of bed this is fragile it's awesome but it's fragile and hey look let me me help you forgive and let me help you move on and let me help you face your insecurities let's deal with this now let's not wait till there's another person in the relationship that you blame for all that isn't that what God who loves you would want for you and you know what even broader context for all this is and this is this is really why I bring it up is because when you begin to deal with each thing on that list just the easy one debt okay you know God I don't know how I'm gonna get out of debt listen this is this is this is why we're here when your faith in God God I'm trusting you to help me to figure this out when your faith intersects with God's faithfulness your spiritual life it comes alive God comes alive when your faith intersects with God's faithfulness I'm telling you something happens in you and when you decide to forgive and when you to decide to face that anger or to face the insecurity and the root of that insecurity god I don't even want to think about this because when I think about it it terrifies me God every time I talk about this I cry every time I talk about this I feel like something's coming up and if it ever gets all the way up to here I'm afraid of what's gonna come out but God I don't want to carry this anymore well your faith intersects with God's faithfulness oh my gosh your life will change and you'll know your Heavenly Father on a personal an even intimate level because the issue isn't debt the issue isn't sex and the issue is it your dysfunction the issue is a heavenly father who wants to connect with you in a real way and here's how he connects and throughout old and new Testament obedience like Jesus said obedience leads to relationship your faith God I'm going to try this God's faithfulness he's gonna come through for you so would you get out of dad would you stay out of bed at least for a year just try this for good you should get out in a bit and would you clean out even the most painful disgusting embarrassing parts of that closet because if you do you'll be glad you did and if you don't I'm afraid that you'll wish [Music] you

Channel: Your Move with Andy Stanley

Views: 18,493

Rating: 4.9277978 out of 5

Keywords: Your Move with Andy Stanley, Andy Stanley, Your Move, You'll be glad you did, debt, sexual choices, self-improvement, bankruptcy, sex, how to get married, debt help, wisdom, how do I make better decisions, how to make good decisions, decisions, regrets, regret, being single, relationships, choices, stupid choices, better decisions, fewer regrets

Id: EXTAogwM1VU

Length: 27min 17sec (1637 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 13 2018