One day you stumble across an old video tape-
for our younger audience, that's the thing that movies used to come on- and decide that
you don't know what's on it, but you gotta watch it. Besides, this thing's practically ancient
technology, so you decide to gather up some friends, buy an old VCR from a pawn shop and
get some kicks out of watching this dusty old antique. When you play the tape though there's nothing
on it but static, and then suddenly there's what looks like a ring of light at the end
of a dark tunnel. Horrifying images flash by, maggots feasting
on rotten food, dead horses on a beach, a mysterious figure with long black hair over
her face. Then, just like that, it's over. Confused you fast forward but there's nothing
left on the tape, and then suddenly... your phone rings. A raspy voice on the other end says two words:
“Seveeennn....daaayyyyssss...”. As a cold chill races up your spine you realize
you've really done it now, you've cursed yourself with death in seven days at the hands of a
vengeful ghost. It’s you up against Samara from The Ring
franchise! So you watched a tape you shouldn't have and
now you've got a fight to the death versus a vengeful phantom in seven days, how in the
world are you going to get out of this one? First is our rule number 1: to fight your
enemy you must know your enemy, so let's find out exactly what you're up against. Samara was a little girl with a mysterious,
and very troubled past. Some people say that she was the product of
sexual assault, while others whisper that she is the spawn of a sea demon. Her exact birth may be a mystery, but what
is known is that since her birth, Samara was different. Born with powerful psychic abilities, Samara
had the ability to project images directly into the minds of those around her. This was something she did without any control,
in fact something she would do without even being aware of what she was doing. Shortly after her birth her mother was told
by voices in her head that the only way to purge Samara of the evil spirits inside her
was to drown her, and so her mother tried to do just that in a fountain outside of the
Christian hospital where she was born. Fortunately for Samara- and unfortunately
for you- a group of nuns discovered the act and quickly stopped Samara's mother, who would
go on to be institutionalized. Samara was then adopted by a doting mother
and father who were prize-winning horse breeders. Samara was loved very much but as she grew
older, her powers intensified- again, still without her knowing and with no ability to
control them. At first this would cause occasional horrible
images to be projected into the minds of those around her, but it soon grew in power and
began to increase in frequency. The local townspeople in the small island
where she grew up on feared and reviled Samara for her power, blaming all sorts of bad circumstances
on her. This led to Samara growing up mostly alone
on her parent's property, where she spent most of her time swinging alone by the sea. As her powers grew in strength and frequency
though, even her doting adopted mother began to grow more distant, terrified by the constant
flashes of horrible imagery into her brain from Samara. Taken to a psychiatrist, Samara proved her
power by burning images onto a piece of blank tape- it was at this point that her parents
decided they needed to lock Samara up to keep her from harming anyone else. Sealing her up in the upper level of a horse
barn, Samara unleashed a flood of horrible images into the brains of the horses below
her one night, causing the animals to break out of their stalls and commit suicide by
jumping off a cliff. The psychic attack had struck dozens of horses
around the island however, and in total thirty six animals had died that night. Her adopted mother, haunted for years by the
terrible imagery and now heartbroken over the death of her horses, finally had enough. In a fit of rage she smothered Samara with
a black plastic bag and then hurled her into a well, closing the lid behind her. Remorseful for the murder, her adopted mother
would also fling herself off a cliff. As far as powers go, Samara has the goods
with a capital G. She is fueled by pure hate with an intense desire for revenge, and her
psychic powers have only grown stronger in death. She is now able to directly control those
powers and can manipulate the perceptions of her victims by making them see things that
aren't really there. She can create images, sounds, even smells
that don't actually exist, and typically will haunt her victims to be during the course
of the week leading up to their death, gradually driving them crazier and crazier. She is also able to directly attack the mind
of an individual though, and it is thought that this is the method by which she kills-
Samara first terrifies her victim to lower their mental defenses, and then projects a
series of horrifying images all at once directly into their mind, causing a psychic and fear
overload which kills the victim instantly. When it comes to weaknesses, well, there just
aren't any that we can think of. Samara may possibly be the offspring of a
sea demon, but she is herself not demonic in nature. This means that the typical tools provided
for humanity to fight off evil demons and the such simply wont' work here- holy water,
true faith, and religious artifacts will do nothing to stop Samara. She is a spirit, which also means that physical
weapons and traps won't have any effect on her whatsoever. She has no connection to any living individuals,
so you can't force a reconciliation between her and family to calm her murderous rampage. Even giving her remains a proper burial is
not enough to stop the killing. In short, we hate to break it to you, but
this time you're absolutely boned. So how can you fight off something that can't
be killed, is impervious to physical damage, and can't be dispelled in any way? Well, let's first start with preparing you
for battle- remember you have seven days before she comes for you, so you'd best be prepared. The first thing you need to do is start working
on your fear response, because Samara literally uses fear to kill you. You need to expose yourself to as many terrifying
situations as you possibly can, so sell everything you own because you're going to hit every
rollercoaster in driving distance, and when you're done with that you'll be bungee jumping,
skydiving, and going free-diving with wild sharks. You have to get your adrenaline pumping and
not just make friends with fear, you need to get into an intimate relationship with
fear. You need to marry fear, hold and cherish fear
until death do you part. So get to doing every crazy thing you've always
been too scared to do. That still won't be enough though, because
Samara specifically attacks your mind with horrifying images- so it's time to steel yourself
against the worst visual horrors you can possibly find. For the first horror, find a mirror and stare
into it. Just kidding, though you're gonna have to
call the doctor now because The Infographics Show just gave you a sick burn. On a serious note, you're gonna have to go
and find every disgusting, over-the-top, special effects creature feature you can get your
hands on. The Thing is a classic, and features plenty
of horrifying imagery, though 1983's Videodrome is a notable classic as well. Perhaps check out some of HR Giger's artwork,
who's terrifying imagery inspired the xenomorphs from the Alien franchise. Now that you've gotten used to feelings of
fear and conquered them, and steeled yourself with horrible imagery, you have to work on
a sense of inner calm. Take some yoga classes, start saying “namaste”
instead of thank you and you're welcome until you annoy everybody around you and they want
to murder you before Samara does. Adopt a freegan diet and eat nothing that
hasn't fallen off a tree naturally, start listening to Gwyneth Paltrow's absolutely
insane, overprivilidged, and out of touch tips for how to live your best life. You need to get spiritual like now. You need that inner peace and inner calm,
because Samara is coming to wreck your mind with a psychic blast of fury and disturbing
images. Ok, you're a zen master with nerves of steel,
and you're just in time because it's now Day 7. It's D-day, Samara day. She's been waiting patiently, and now she's
coming. What are you going to do? No, seriously, what are you going to do, because
we have no idea. Our teams of professional researchers, archivists,
theoretical physicists, and engineers here at The Infographics Show have poured over
this scenario from top to bottom, and we can't think of a single valid strategy for defeating
Samara. She literally has no weaknesses or vulnerabilities,
and in fact only seems to exist for one thing: the complete destruction of the human race. That's why she wants the cursed tape copied
by every victim, so that more and more will exist and she can eventually flood the world
with it and kill every living person. She is rage incarnate and will not be sated
until our world is ashes and ruins. So you'd better get to copying that tape. You may not defeat her, but at least it'll
save your life. Sort of, because Samara likes to play fast
and loose by her own rules, and she's been known to kill people who copied the tape and
made someone else watch it anyways. You're going to have to prove your worth to
Samara, but how do you convince a mass murdering ghost with extinction on her mind to spare
your life? Simple, you make yourself useful, indispensable
even. Don't just copy the tape once, copy it a dozen
times. Make a dozen people watch it. Hire out a theater and host a private screening,
if you live in LA just market it as a 'networking event' and hordes of out-of-work actors, writers,
and directors will all show up desperate to talk to someone important. But the joke's on them, because there is no
one important there- there never is- but what is there is celluloid death. Your plan is going to be to make yourself
so valuable a tool to Samara's ultimate plan to kill all of humanity, that she just kills
you last. You may not win in the end, but at least you
don't lose quite as bad, and that's a victory you're just going to have to live with. Think you actually know how to kill Samara? Let us know in the comments! Also check out our other video You vs The
Nun! Thanks for watching, see you next time!
