YOU JUST ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD

no no I think we can do without the crack pipe so sit back and enjoy a night of worry-free what the fudge oh for me Christmas thank you you are all hereby found guilty of the crime of witchcraft [Applause] are you in hell Seymour goodbye mother how horrible if they're really witches why don't they use their powers to escape it sounds like witch talked to me Lisa never mind brothers and sisters there is still a witch Among Us let us throw open the floor to a wild accusations I accuse goodief Flanders [Music] let's come to our senses everyone this Witch Hunt is turning into a circus she's the witch I was just about to accuse her crazy I'm not a witch well hear me out if you're innocent you will fall to an honorable Christian death if however you are the Bride of Satan you will surely fly your broom to safety at that point you will report back here for torture and beheading [Applause] [Music] we have performed the Lord's work and sent a good woman into his waiting that's right I'm a witch and I'm the one who withered your livestock soured your sheep's milk and made your shirts itchy and this is for pushing me off the cliff all right people nothing to see here the show's over all right move along as for the rest of you more I am you always want more eye of Newt if it were up to you the Brew would be nothing but nude eyes well look who's here if I knew you were coming I'd have baked the cat oh Neddy look at them up there plotting our Doom they could force us to commit wanton acts of carnality and that'll lead the day what's that Ned who is it wishes what do you want do you want we're here to eat your kids don't blame yourself daddy you did everything oh uh well excuse me are you sure you ladies wouldn't prefer some gingerbread children instead they're boneless bye witchies thanks for not eating me yeah you hugs are all right you know scaring people into giving us treats is fun we should do this every year and that's the story of the very first caramel card I mean Halloween and it wasn't long before this yearly custom became an annual tradition come on give us some candy they'll pretend you're not home Dad that's our house [Music] [Applause] she's a witch get her [Applause] let's just end tensions continue to mount between Springfield and France over mayor Quimby's now famous Frog's legs joke the French president has threatened Swift and massive retaliation if he doesn't receive an immediate apology Homer you know how unpredictable the French are one minute they're kissing a woman's hand the necks are chopping off her head what if they start a war relax I built a bomb shelter it's not gonna protect us from anything it can take a six Megaton blast no more no less [Music] [Applause] really m [Music] [Music] INE oh man I get blamed for this Christmas you call that prime rib yeah maybe a little friendly punching will move your ass still got it oh my God everyone's gone oh I've lost everything I can't go on no no no no I can't just wallow in sadness it's time to laugh again [Music] [Music] hey what the hell's going on where'd you get those clothes not everyone died in the blast Homer some of us were merely horribly mutated you know you must stay [Music] you want me come and get me get up down [Applause] yeah come on we just want to eat your skin go to hell cookie homie is that you march kids you're alive all the layers have led paint in this house made it the perfect bomb shelter oh come here oh I don't see any reason why Freaks and Norms can't get along yeah now oh [Music] friends with mutants right now that's the March I married [Music] wow look at all these gadgets if I were a nerd I'd be in heaven good morning ma'am good afternoon sir foreign I take it from that little impressed noise that you are interested in purchasing that matter transporter sir I'll give you a 35 salt but I must warn you this device carries a frighteningly high risk of catastrophic I said I'll take it how much you got nice try Floyd but you were designed for scrubbing and scrubbing is what you shall do this mountain of stairs used to make bedtime a crueling Char but not anymore baby [Music] good night losers hmm [Music] okay cat now if this works your next trip will be to the bank vault hmm look in the sky it's Superfly [Music] it worked I was hoping to be humongous oh well at least I don't have two butts all right are you in there have you forgotten our little kablamo talk oh well he may be a horrible freak but he's still my son I'm sure we'll grow to accept them in time you want more syrup honey there's one thing I still don't understand when Bart went through the transporter what happened to his head it'll turn up somewhere okay okay it's your sugar Bart listen buddy this is all a mistake if you'll just go through the transporter with me again we'll have you back eating garbage in no time hi is that you release the giant fly stole my body and now he's trying to kill me [Music] pull the hands off my sister [Music] hey it worked something I should have done a long time ago I'll teach you to mess with my machine just making it worse I promise I won't hurt you open wide for some soccer [Music] the cabinet of soccer association is coming to Springfield Hey Dad how come you never taking us to see a soccer game I don't know you'll see all your favorite Soccer Stars like Ariana Grande please yes yes oh God yes yo paella man Wing one up here [Applause] foreign [Music] to be king of your kitchen use Crest field wax paper [Applause] come on you snores do something halfback passes to the center back to the wing back to the center I can't bear this any longer I'm leaving yeah not before me you ain't now now there's plenty of exits for everyone oh that's it you're dead pal [Music] we've got to get out of here what began as a traditional soccer Riot has escalated into a city-wide orgy of Destruction Somebody's gotta stop them let's wait until they burn the school down oh my God Homer they're right next door looks like he called me just in time this home isn't secure at all what did I tell you Marge what do you recommend but if you really want to sleep easy at night I recommend sealing off every door and window with bulletproof lucite and you can have it all for just five hundred dollars five five hundred dollars oh forget it you liked about your daddy please [Music] whoa careful there any Oakley I don't have to be careful I got a gun and this is for shooting down police helicopters well I don't need anything like that yet just give me my gun sorry the law requires a five-day waiting period yeah I'd kill you if I had my gun yeah well you don't well let's see here according to your background check you've been in a mental institution yeah frequent problems with alcohol yeah you beat up President Bush I've got a surprise for you okay open your eyes hey it's a handgun isn't it great this is the trigger and this is the thing you point at whatever you want to die no no one's using this gun the TV said you're 58 more likely to shoot a family remember than an intruder TV said that but I have to have a gun it's in the Constitution a gun is not a weapon Mark you just need more education on the subject tell you what you come with me to an NRA meeting and if you still don't think guns are great we'll argue some more assault weapons have gotten a lot of bad press lately but they're manufactured for a reason to take out today's modern super animals such as the flying squirrel and the electric eel when some young punk comes in and tries to stick me up whatever did you do Mo well it could have been a real ugly situation but I managed to shoot him in a spine it seems to me if a gun can protect something as important as a bar it's good enough to protect my family so if you'll have me I would like to become a lifetime member of your wonderful organization [Applause] sorry my fault can you help me get my ball down from the roof dad sure thing honey foreign get together Homer I told you this morning no guns at the dinner table listen if it'll make you feel any better I'll put the safety on no offense bomb but that was pretty cool but this is the first time since we've been married that I've actually feared for our lives so I'm asking you if you really care about me and the children please please get rid of the gun ah I don't feel them and I know they're up here I just need a better foothold hello [Music] what are the odds the boy would look in a vegetable crisper how could you of all the terrible things you've ever done in your life this is the worst the most despicable we can't live in the same house come on kids so this is the things I get for protecting my family then go I'll be just fine I've left Homer thank God so we need a place to spend the night try the sleep easy Motel I woke up there once seemed nice why can't we stay here uh we have a gentleman caller looking for a good time sailor I certainly am no I'm not he's really not yeah the gun club's gonna be here any minute they're here they're here hi Homer I brung you a big bag of a regular Oreos and that's how with a few minor adjustments you can turn a regular gun into five guns anyone else want a beer you use your gun as a can opener you might have heard someone are you some kind of [ __ ] yeah but hey yeah it's guns aren't toys your membership card please Homer oh hey we got a pool can we go swimming mom um not right now dear no way are you gonna beat me this time lace oh this gun cost me everything my wife my kids everything but my precious precious gun these things I want my family back [Applause] all right sorry Marge oh sorry Marge or Quimby sorry down here what about the gun it's going for good Marge I finally realized what's the point of having a gun for protection if you've got no one to protect oh homie okie doke here's your bill all right everybody hands up you give me the cash drawer hey bad guy you lied to me again I know I said that but what I secretly meant was yoink okay don't shoot drop it foreign I'm sorry I lied to you Marge but this gun had a hold on me I felt this incredible surge of power like God must feel when he's holding a gun so please get rid of it because I know I'll just lie to you again and again [Music] oh [Music]

Channel: Infinite Simpson

Views: 530,472

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Id: H0D0OThhULA

Length: 19min 34sec (1174 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 18 2023