World War II’s Wildest Stories, As Told On Drunk History

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- [Lyric] World War II. - [Morgan] All right, we're gonna wind. Let's do this. Tell everybody. - [Lyric] I can't wait to (beep) see my uncle's face and then shoot his mustache off. Brat! Boom in your face, Hitler. - [Morgan] Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O. (dramatic music) - Hello, my name is- Hello, my name is Lyric Lewis. And tonight we're going to talk about Willy Hitler, the nephew of Adolf Hitler. Hmm. (Lyric burps) Oh, excuse me. (gentle music) So our story begins in Liverpool, England. William Hitler is living his young life and in 1930, his father was like, "Yo, come and meet your uncle." So they go to the chancellery in Berlin and Willy is like, "What, what, what? This is my uncle?" His uncle is the head of the Nazi party. Which side note, this is before World War II. Hitler was like, "Oh, yo, let's take a picture together. I'm going to autograph it." So they took a picture and he had a big position and he looked up to him and he was just like, "Wow, my uncles is dope as (beep)." And Willy's like, "You know what? I want a high ranking position in my uncle's socialist party." And he moves to Germany. It's very romantic in Germany in 1938s time. Everybody was in Germany, eating schnitzel. Willy was like, "Hey everybody. My name is Willy Hitler. Adolf Hitler is my uncle. He's going to hook me up." So he bust in the chancellery, he burst in, and the secretary is like, "Oh, pump all of your breaks. You know Hitler don't (beep) with you like to that." So he waits, he doesn't wait a day. Not a week. He doesn't even wait three weeks. He waits two mother (beep) months. So Willy Hitler was like, I'm matt. - [Interviewer] Matt? What does that word mean? - Matt means like, you're not even, you're not mad. You're not M A D, when you're matt, you're beyond the point of mad and you're like mad and insulted, you're disrespected. - [Interviewer] Gotcha. - [Lyric] But anyways, he goes into his office. Hitler was just looking at his god damn maps. Hitler was like my maps of everywhere I want to go. And Adolf Hitler, in his hand, has a horsing whipping whip. He's doing it at his toes. (Lyric imitating whip) Adolf was like, "I'm so sorry that you have to work for your god damn money. (Lyric imitating whip) I didn't get this Chancellor job for the family. So no." (Lyric imitating whip) So Willy left that meeting and Willy was like, "Hell to the no." Willy was pissed. Milly was pissed, matt, then pissed. And he decided that he wanted to do something about it. So, buckle your seatbelt. But no, really, buckle your seatbelt. William goes to the United States in 1939 and decided to do like a lecture tour. And he spilled all the beans. He's saying like, "Yo, my uncle is like super racist." He saying, "My uncles want to invade your countries and take over and do horrible things when he invades." But people are like, "Yeah, okay. Okay, we'll believe it when we see it Willy." And then because of World War II, he was like, "Yo, I want to fight for the U.S." So he goes to meet with Franklin Delano Roosevelt. And he was very impassionate, he was like, "I know that I'm like one person," but he was like, "I can fight for the greater cause of many." And he's like, "I know I'm like one little baby Hitler. Like I'm like technically a Hitler," but he's like, "I don't (beep) with the Hitler's like that." FDR was like, "All right. If he says he don't (beep) with Hitler like we can't chastise the man for his name." And so Willy, he gets accepted to the Navy and he goes into basic training. He trains night and day. By day, he's running through tires, climbing over ropes, underneath mud. And he's like, yeah, I can't wait to (beep) see my uncle's face and then shoot his mustache off. Brat! He said, (burps). Hold up, he did not burp. Ooh, it's wavy. So Willy's on the ship. They're at war. Explosions all around. He's a paramedic. He's throwing aspirin in people's mouth, they're catching it. Holding their wounds, giving them little shots. So he's in the Navy for three years. So all of a sudden people are shooting, it's like brat-at-at. And then they, wait. And then now all of a sudden here's a big explosion and he's hit with a piece of shrapnel. And he was like, "I'm out of the Navy." So Hitler, baby Hitler. - Baby Hitler? Now he's a baby? - Okay, so go on. So they honorably discharged him and America was like, "You know what? You're not just a baby Hitler. You a G, you like an OG." And they were like, "We're going to give you a purple heart because you earned this shit." What? Oh, okay. And then, and then he was like, "I'm going to change my name to Patrick Stuart-Houston to get away from the Hitler surname once and for all. Boom. Boom in your face, Hitler." And his son's, rumor have it, they vowed to never pass on the Hitler name. They've denied it, but they've never had kids so... I think at the end of the day, Willy Hitler got the last laugh. Ha ha ha. - Hello. My name is John Lutz and today we will be discussing the ghost army. In the autumn of 1943, World War II. There was a general, a general by the name of General Marshall. And he came up with this crazy new tactic to help defeat the Nazis. General Marshall came to President Roosevelt. Okay. Here's the thing. "It is a fake army. It's a fake war and it will distract the German army. And then we'll do the actual battles over here." Then FDR said, "What! Already on board." (glass clinks) This glass hits my teeth too much. (interviewer laughs) So General Marshall came to Lieutenant Colonel Harry Reeder. He said, "You will be in charge of a ghost army." Reeder was like, "That sounds like a good idea, but I'm a soldier. I should be on the front lines fighting for real." And then he was like, "I know you're a soldier and soldiers. (laughing) You get to cherry pick everybody. If you think they're right for your team, take them." And so that's what he did. Harry Reeder brought together artists, like sound artists, design artists, actors. One guy was like, "This is insane. I thought it was going to be a soldier, but I'm happy. Or I'm not because I will be dead soon." So this is where the story gets good. Once he assembled his team, they go to Europe where the war was. Harry Reeder's like, "Here's what you're going to do. Let's get inflatable tanks. You get those tanks blown up ASAP." So he blew up the tanks. "Here's the other thing, you're going to use fake guns, but we're going to use fireworks." They're like, "I love fireworks!" And then it's like, "You make this a headquarters, build it up, build it up, get those signs going." And if you will imagine a montage. - [Interviewer] I will. - [John] They blow up tanks. You can move them easily, two people, three people can move them. And they make fake guns, fake planes. And then they blast out these radio transmissions that sound like tanks. (imitating tanks) And then they create fireworks that looked like explosions and shooting guns. - [Interviewer] That's (beep) brilliant. - It's really smart. It's near the end of the war, by the by. And it is very significant victory they need. Eisenhower orders up Operation Plunder. Eisenhower came to Lieutenant Colonel Merrick Truly who is a member of the ghost army. He said, "Our division is going to cross here at the Rhine River. Your ghost army is going to meet 10 miles south. Okay, the big thing is is you have to make sure that the German army thinks is 30,000 people." And Truly said, "Aye aye, we'll do it." So the ghost army soldiers go 10 miles down. Truly gets everybody together and says, "You, you, you, what do you got?" He says, "We're going to be the only ones broadcasting radio-ily." (chuckling) Sorry. "Can all the allied forces please meet at this latitude and longitude at the location of where we're going to cross the Rhine river and defeat the Germans." "What else?" "Overly sized pants." That's just a Lutz idea. - [Interviewer] Lutz, Lutz, Lutz! - [John] "Actors, what are you going to do?" "Well, we're going to walk around and look like real troops. Real people." "Art design, go." Art design said, "200 inflatable tanks. We'll throw in two real tanks just to make it look good." And then there's one guy who's like, "If anybody comes by, I'm going to create a dump that looks like 30,000 soldiers worth of trash." "Audio department, go." "We'll have these speakers blaring out sounds that are like tranks." - [Interviewer] Tranks? - (laughing) Tanks. - Oh, like tanks. - Like tanks. Then the night of the actual crossing happens. The ghosts army gets in position. 10 miles up, Churchill actually shows up and is with Eisenhower to see this battle. And Churchill's like, "Hey, I hope this idea works that you have that we're crossing here." And Eisenhower's like, "Trust me. We have our ghost army 10 miles down the road or river, Rhine." (laughing) I'm sorry. "The ghost army is 10 miles from here and that's where all the Germans are, can you believe it?" It's almost like they put on a show and the Germans fell for it. The German army was sitting there and they were like, "Oh, we are ready for them to cross the Rhine!" Eisenhower says, "Now look." And Eisenhower puts up these binoculars to Churchill's eyes and he looks down it and he's like, "Holy moly! There's no Germans who are attacking us." (laughing) I'm making them like a penguin for some reason. (both laughing) Operation Plunder was one of the final nails in the coffin in Hitler's horrible regime. This ragtag group of artists saved the world all through non-violent means. - Cheers, Lutz, so good. - Goodnight. - Hello, today we're going to talk about Joe Louis versus Max Schmeling, big fights America versus the Nazis. Let's do it. (upbeat music) Joe Louis was a boxer from Alabama. He's upwardly coming and had a rocking bod. And he's fighting this dude, Max Schmeling. Max Schmeling, he lived in Germany. He was a German during the time of the Nazis. Schmeling had won the heavyweight championship in 1930. This guy Sharkey hit him in the nuts and got disqualified. So he basically won the heavyweight championship of the world by getting hit in the nuts. Joe Louis's manager's like, "We're going to take this hash ex-champion Schmeling, throw him in front of Louis. Louis will pummel him." Joe Louis was like, "I don't need to train for this schmuck." You know, instead of training, he was playing golf and he had all these women coming around and stuff. So he's (beep), and playing golf and stuff instead of training for his fight. Oh, so the first fight was at Yankee stadium. There's tens of thousands of people there. And everyone just assumed Joe Louis is going to kick Max Schmeling's but. Like Hitler didn't even want it advertised in Germany. Hitler was like, "This guy's going to lose. We don't want anyone to know about the fight." It was like, Joe was like doing all right. And then Max Schmeling just started coming at him and he was like, boom, boom, boom. And then (beep) Schmeling knocks him down for the first time in his whole career. Joe Louis was like, "Oh (beep), I shouldn't have been (beep) golfing." And he loses. So Louis feels like I'm not the real champ till I beat Max Schmeling, you know? Cause he beat me up before. So I'm going to, now I want to beat him. And so they basically ended up deciding they were going to fight again. And you know, he was at the White House and Roosevelt said, "We need these arms to beat the Nazis. Are you going to win or whatever?" And he's like, "Yeah, I gotta, I gotta, I can't do what I did before. I can't (beep) up and lose. I got to get in (beep) shape. No women, no golf." Joe Louis trained hard this time. He doesn't play golf. He hasn't (beep) chicks. He just trains. And the second fight was at Yankee stadium. And Hitler was like suddenly Mr. Cool. Like, "All right, we're going to win. Let's do this. Tell everybody, let's party. Let's watch the fight. Everybody you can be out till 3:00 AM. All the bars have to have booze so you can celebrate. And also we will use the prize money to build tanks" because he's thought he was going to win. Joe Louis was prepared and he's just like (beep) 1, 2, 1, 2. And Hitler's like, "Uh-oh Spaghetti-O don't let anybody hear this, pull the plug." They like pulled it from German radio 'cause they knew what was going to happen. Like, "Nevermind, don't worry about it. Go do your thing. No Jews. Thank you. Bye." - [Interviewer] I don't like this idea. - Just fight nicely, delicate, One, delicate. - Thank you. - Joe Louis is pummeling Schmeling. Left, right. - All right. Okay, okay. All right, you win. Oh no! No... You got me good. The greatest fight of all time. - [Morgan] And the ref said, "It's over." And Joe Louis won. America won. People in America were like even me, an (beep) racist American can realize we're beating the Nazis. That's (beep) amazing. I love that guy. (dramatic music)
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Channel: Comedy Central
Views: 596,714
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: world war 2, world war II, Comedy Central, Drunkest Moments, Drunk History Comedy Central, Comedy Central compilation video, Drunk History, Drunken History, drunk, history, Derek Waters, comedy central, comedy, comedians, true story, story, drinking, booze, funny video, comedy videos, funny clips, history lesson, Drunk History comedy central, Drunk History compilation, fascinatnig, history lessons, History, Comedy Central History, best of drunk history, war story
Id: 57GQyaJvXNo
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 16min 9sec (969 seconds)
Published: Tue Nov 16 2021
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