Pretty drunk.
[laughs] - You feel okay? - I'm giggly and there's gaps
in my memory. [laughs] - That's all right.
- Already. - Okay, so, uh,
let's get back. - So, Yorktown. <i> We won!</i> <i> Well, now we've gotta
form a country.</i> Um, they all ask him, hey, come be a part of
the Constitutional Convention. <i> So we're figuring out how</i> <i> the American system
is gonna work.</i> <i> The Constitutional Convention:</i> <i> this is the room
where they're deciding</i> <i> what the shape of our
government should be.</i> <i> They're hashing it out.</i> <i> And Hamilton speaks
for six hours.</i> <i> But some of the things he
pitched would haunt him</i> <i> the rest of his career.</i> He pitched
maybe president for life? <i> [whispering] Ooh, he's secretly
a monarchist.</i> <i> Maybe, uh, we inherit...</i> <i> positions.</i> <i> [whispering]
Bullshit. That's terrible.</i> <i> This guy just wants
to bring back the British.</i> Those whispers are from
the perspectives of, um, people who
don't like him. <i> Um, but anyway, um, we adopt
the system that we adopt.</i> <i> And Hamilton becomes
its most ardent defender.</i> So-- Trying to find the straightest
line through this story. So Hamilton has an affair. <i> Um, while he's
the treasury secretary,</i> <i> he carries on this affair with
a woman named Maria Reynolds.</i> <i> Her husband shows up.</i> <i> He's like, yo, uh,
that's my wife.</i> <i> I'm happy to, like,
keep it on the low,</i> <i> but you have to pay me.</i> <i> Gets basically extorted
for about $1,000.</i> James Reynolds, the husband
who was extorting him, gets arrested on some
other bullshit. <i> While he's trying to
weasel his way out of it,</i> <i> he says, I've got dirt
on Alexander Hamilton.</i> <i> Everyone goes,
really?</i> <i> Hamilton, uh, and--
has been embezzling.</i> And he sort of says
all this shit about Hamilton. <i> Um, and so three guys
go to confront Hamilton</i> <i> on these charges.</i> <i> One of the dudes was future
president James Monroe.</i> <i> And they went, yo, Hamilton,</i> <i> we know what you did,
you know what you did.</i> <i> Check out these checks
to James Reynolds.</i> <i> What's up?
And they accuse him</i> <i> of embezzling funds.</i> <i> And Hamilton goes,
no, no, no.</i> <i> I was just [bleep] this lady,</i> <i> and her husband
was hitting me up for money.</i> <i> I didn't touch American money,</i> <i> and I have all kinds of proof.</i> And he, like, vomits information
all over them. <i> Oh, wow, that was more
than we needed to hear.</i> <i> And we're good, thanks.</i> <i> The info about the affair
gets somehow miraculously</i> <i> printed in the paper.</i> <i> Hamilton is not a great dude.</i> <i> I know you think he's great
'cause he's a war vet,</i> <i> and he's
the Treasury Secretary,</i> <i> but you're gonna learn the
truth real soon.</i> <i> And Hamilton gets this
and he goes to James Monroe,</i> <i> [whispering]
what the [bleep]?</i> <i> Like, I told you that in
secret.</i> <i> And James Monroe's like,</i> <i> it wasn't secret
and it wasn't me.</i> <i> Wasn't me who--who, uh,
published it.</i> <i> Mother[bleep]!</i> <i> I told three people
about this</i> <i> and you're the one
who was taking notes,</i> <i> so I know it came from you.</i> <i> Like...fess up.</i> <i> [bleep] you.
[bleep] you.</i> So Hamilton, over sharer,
writes the Reynolds Pamphlet. The whole thing reads like
a Dear Penthouse letter. Like, dear America, <i> I never thought this would
happen to me.</i> <i> But one day,
this ripped bodice woman</i> <i> showed up at my door,
saying,</i> <i> oh, my husband's beating me,
left me alone</i> <i> and I need money
and I need help.</i> <i> You are a man of honor.
Can you help me?</i> <i> Hamilton's like,
I could give her money</i> <i> or I could [bleep] her</i> <i> and either one would be
acceptable.</i> <i> The--the Reynolds Pamphlet
is like Dick 101.</i> And, by the way,
he sent this to his friends. <i> Being like, hey,
I think I'm gonna publish this.</i> <i> And everyone was like,</i> <i> hey, bro, I don't think
this is a good idea</i> <i> to publish this.</i> <i> Like, maybe your wife
and your seven children</i> <i> would not love it
if you published this.</i> <i> And Hamilton's like,
well, I mean, like,</i> <i> I got accused of embezzling.</i> <i> And, like,
I can't let that stand.</i> <i> Maybe the, like,
marital infidelity trumps that?</i> <i> I know it doesn't
in your head,</i> <i> but to everyone else
in the world it does.</i> <i> Um, and he's like, no,
I can't let that shit stand.</i> <i> And Hamilton goes back
to James Monroe</i> <i> and--and now Hamilton's like,</i> <i> well, it's all out in the open.</i> <i> um, and if you still wanna
settle this,</i> <i> because I know you're the one
who leaked it.</i> <i> Um, Monroe's like,
well, I didn't leak it,</i> <i> but if you wanna, like, fight,
like, let's do this.</i> <i> And so they meet face to face.</i> <i> And Monroe goes,
all right, you're mad at me</i> <i> because of this,
this, and this.</i> <i> And Hamilton goes,
let's start at the beginning.</i> And lists, like, the first time
they met. [laughs] He lists the details
of the entire meeting, <i> as Monroe gets more and more
impatient.</i> <i> Monroe's like, I know all this,
I know all this.</i> <i> I know all this.</i> <i> Hamilton's like,
you interrupted me.</i> <i> I have to start again.</i> <i> And Monroe's getting
angrier and angrier,</i> until they're finally
pulled apart. 'Cause they're about to, like,
punch each other in the face. <i> So Monroe goes to his homey,
Aaron Burr.</i> <i> And goes, yo,
you know Hamilton,</i> <i> will you tell him--</i> this is so, like,
high school gossip. <i> He goes,
will you tell Hamilton</i> <i> that if he's challenging me
to a duel, I accept.</i> <i> But if he's not, I wasn't
challenging him to a duel.</i> <i> And Burr goes
over to Hamilton, like,</i> <i> James Monroe told me
to tell you</i> <i> that if you're challenging him,
he accepts,</i> <i> but if you weren't
challenging him,</i> <i> he doesn't really
wanna go into a duel.</i> Uh, and Burr
squashes the duel. <i> Burr's like,
duels are stupid.</i> <i> And you both should just,
like shut up.</i> <i> And it's over.</i> <i> And Hamilton told everyone
everything, anyway.</i> <i> So there's no point in
you shooting at each other.</i> <i> [cell phone beeps]
Sorry, I forgot</i> <i> to put my phone on vibrate.</i> <i> - Yeah, okay.</i> <i> - Uh-oh, Questlove's--</i>
- Questlove? - Texting me. "You did 'Drunk History'?" What? How did Questlove
find out? - Oh, here we go. <i> - Yo!</i>
- Questlove! <i> - Yo! [laughs]</i> <i> [both laugh]</i> - Look at this.<i>
- This is the best shit ever!</i> <i> I cannot wait
for this episode.</i> <i> My girl and I got together
based on our love</i> <i> for "Drunk History."</i> - You see the effect you have?
- Well-- I love you both. - ♪ History has its eyes
on you ♪ - Yes.<i>
- This is awesome!</i> <i> - Cheers.
- Bye, Questo.</i>
