Women Who Were Proposed To And Said NO, Why? - AskReddit

i told him no flat out before he even asked women who were proposed to and said no what's your story dating a guy for a few years was 20 years old at the time very controlling wasn't going great we were opening christmas presents with his family when he asked he proposed while saying he loved the woman i would become one day i said yes in public but no in private if you don't even love me now why propose now needless to say it didn't last long an ex i told him things were going downhill and i wanted to end things so he decided to propose to me thank god not in public as an attempt to get me to stay i said no i've heard loads of stories like this of people who can't be bothered to put in an ounce of effort because the current status quo suits them just fine but when their partner reaches their breaking point only then do they ask for a second chance not realizing they already burned through multiple chances my own father did this my mom and him went to couples counseling and after the first appointment his homework assignment given by the counselor was to schedule the second appointment it didn't happen when my mom served him with divorce papers a year later he asked if she wanted him to book that appointment now i had an ex-boyfriend that i hadn't even seen or spoken to in three months show up to my parents house at 3am my stepmom would stay up to all hours of the night watching tv so she saw his car lights when he pulled into the side driveway she came and got me furious he was there and asked why i lied about breaking up with him i had to explain we were broken up and i had no idea why he was there when i went outside he was leaning on his car looking struck and crazy he told me that the universe wanted us together and it was cosmic fate he then pulled out a frat boy bottle opener ring with a cat toy tied to it and told me he had an important question to ask me i told him no flat out before he even asked i pointed at his car and told him to go home when he asked why i listed all the things that led me to break up with him including him dropping out of school multiple times and not having a job once during our two-year relationship he told me he did have a job now when i asked where he worked because i knew he was lying he looked me in the eyes and said if he told me that he'd have to kill me i had enough and told him to get the hell off my family's property and he left reluctantly telling me he'd be back i never saw him again but i heard through the grapevine that he told others that he had shown up in a talks with a huge diamond ring that i threw on the ground i used to wonder what would have happened if my stepmom didn't see his car pull up we were dating for about four years and were in our early 20s i felt unsure about our rest of life compatibility and suggested we needed to have some serious conversations to work out our plans moving forward after uni all of these conversations made me increasingly sure we were incompatible surprise surprise they made him increasingly sure about the future and he wanted to get married we were literally doing the deed under a lit christmas tree at 3am and he asked me to marry him i said we weren't ready bad plan he still didn't have any idea what that would look like or how we would work out some fairly serious things around our location jobs etc eventually i got tired of saying no to a marriage i didn't think would work and felt pushed and trapped so i broke up with him we remain friends i was a bridesmaid in his wedding a couple years ago it was the right choice another guy i was with only dating very briefly he proposed in a restaurant with a terrifyingly large ring and provided me a pdf copy of his tax return so i could see he would be a good provider everything he did told me he hadn't really ever listened to me or got to know me properly i said yes in the restaurant to avoid causing embarrassment and called it all off afterwards he turned into an obsessive stalker and i had to get a restraining order in the end sold my great-grandmom's wedding set to buy a gaudy diamond monstrosity of a ring i had asked him to use the engagement ring to propose with as i would have been the fourth generation to wear it he said it was ugly and awful and wouldn't have his woman wearing second-hand garbage i dumped his butt and got the setback from the pawn shop just realized this was the second time i dumped a guy based on this kind of behavior i sure can pick him he brought me up to his apartment about a two-hour drive from my college i was basically trapped there he asked me while he was feeling insecure about the relationship and figured a proposal would lock me in place i dodged it for a few days but i needed to get back to classes and he wouldn't take me back till i said yes i figured he was a bright guy and would come to his senses eventually he got me back to school eventually he realized that coercion is not a good proposal strategy a few years back i was dating this guy at first he seemed very kind sweet and happy handsome too i thought he was a great catch especially as some toxic friends of mine were lowering my self-esteem a few months after we started dating he started changing it was subtle at first he would stop spending time with me and blaming me for it then came the gaslighting and manipulation he started isolating me from my family and hurting me when i refused to do things for him eventually i got the strength to deal with the situation and tell him that we were over to get me to stay he hosted a large party with lots of friends and publicly asked me to marry him i said no we've been together about a year at this point and i'd made it clear to him that marriage was a big scary thing i wasn't ready for yet about a month later we went away for a weekend to one of our usual hunts i was looking out the hotel window at something when he suddenly said my name i turned around and he was stood there with a ring and then asked me to marry him i was so shocked and upset that he clearly didn't listen that i ran out into the street crying i called my parents and one of my friends all of whom were incredibly pissed off that he didn't respect my wishes and wondered what the hell i was supposed to do i eventually composed myself and went back into the hotel but obviously we were both very upset he said we could just break it off if it's too much or we could stay together and he'd promise not to mention marriage again we took the second option we did get married a couple of years later but this was mainly because a he was the least bad partner i'd had at that point and i did that dangerous thing of well he does a but at least he doesn't do b and c b i was content and thought happy was a daft hollywood thing and c i thought i was being mature and grown up and wanted to reward him for sort of looking after me when i'd been ill a few months prior we got divorced about five years ago and i realize now that not only were we very incompatible but he was incredibly pushy and always found a way to get what he wanted he told me later he had planned to propose in the restaurant so thank christ he didn't do that i had a boyfriend cheat on me so many times the breakup was hard but then he got activated from the military reserves i didn't meet anyone till two months before he came back the whole time i wanted him back but he and i weren't really officially together and i knew he was talking to another girl the whole time he was gone he came back and saw the other girl first he says to break up with her you're right and i realized i didn't like him thank god he showed up at my apartment saw me with my new boyfriend and proposed in a crying fit it was horrid three months earlier and i'd have done it but thank god for the timing of things about three or four months after we started dating he asked it was a moment we had a fun night out a little buzzed in a cab over the williamsburg bridge looking at the nyc skyline weather was beautiful i think we were both feeling immortal but i said you know i'm saying no now because we haven't been dating so long and we've had a bit to drink and we're just caught up in the moment he seemed dejected he was still dejected days later that said a few years later after we'd been together long enough i said yes and we got hitched so we still got the happy ending i was pregnant at the time and he was being pressured by his family and friends to propose to me we never really talked about marriage but he was adamant he proposed at a gold star chile in front of the weight staff and customers with my mother's gold ring that she gave me years before that he took off my finger as he was kneeling i whispered under my breath to get the hell up but i kept up the facade until we were out of the restaurant i told him it's not gonna happen and why did he think that was a good idea he had been cheating on me and i was on the way out and everybody knew it so this was like his last ditch effort i suppose he then decided a month or so later to purchase a 1 500 ring with his grandma's money and give it to me on christmas i have no idea what he was thinking because i made it very clear i was only staying to try and save the relationship and marriage was definitely not on the table at the time i realized he was only in it for the comfort and not the responsibility my ex andrew asked three times each time was during a rough patch of our relationship and was his way of trying to fix things i told him no each time because when i get married i want to get married because i care about someone and want to share my life adventure with them not as a bandage to a problem i've seen what happens when two people get married for the wrong reasons and it never ends well well andrew didn't like that and told me i wasted his and broke up with me it's a bit of a relief as now nearly a year later i've meet someone who is absolutely amazing that i click with really well and has similar life goals named chris chris has been respectful of my decision to not make our relationship official just yet so that already speaks volumes about how things will go if we reach the point of considering getting married my then boyfriend wanted to marry me because of how much money i would eventually make upon getting into my field he then wanted to share a cell phone bill rent an apartment and be a stay-at-home dad while trying to convince me to have intercourse with him without a condom all while having anger issues this isn't even half of what went on he would also tell try to condition me into things by stating we will never go to xyz or we will always be poor and never travel to no offense babe i will never buy you a diamond ring as i don't believe in it tried to teach him how to drive get a better job because he asked me to helping his family out he only wanted to continue wilting as a wall flower and complain about his circumstances rather than grow we dated for three months i left that relationship fast thought he was a good person initially before we dated which is why i went out with him was 18 and had just graduated high school when the guy i dated on and off since sophomore year texted me that he wanted to marry me assumed it was just a flirt thing people do but he wasn't joking and called me telling me if we got married we could get money for college from the state not sure if that's even true and go ahead and have kids that same year so we could have our parents insurance again not sure if that's how that works either it blew my mind because he was so serious about it he said let's go pick out a ring and have dinner i asked why would he ask to marry me without a ring he said because he wasn't wasting his time trying to find something when i could do it myself oh and we needed to go half and half on my ring i turned him down obviously and we argued for a week straight then broke up for good met my soon to be husband two months later the ex ended up dating my friend's little sister who was in high school he was 19 she was 17 and did the same thing to her not sure how that's going for them i was in a relationship where i had made it clear early on that i planned on getting married at some point in my life and had no interest in long-term dating someone i didn't think i would get married to my partner was undecided over whether they wanted to get married in general around the one-year mark i told them that they really needed to reflect on it and i wanted to discuss it after around our two-year anniversary two years rolls around and they said they hadn't thought about it and still didn't know after a few more months of asking them to reflect on them basically refusing i decided to break up with them there's nothing wrong with not wanting to get married but our lifetime goals were clearly incompatible anyhow after i broke up with them they called me in a frenzy and proposed by telling me to just pick out any ring let's do this i said no nothing good could come out of marrying someone who felt like i forced their hand with a breakup i'm just anti-marriage in general when i was pregnant i guess my boyfriend went into a nervous crisis and decided he better proposed in case that's what i truly wanted and was just not saying it we've actually since then had an unofficial marriage ceremony that we created and designed it was lovely i often refer to him as my husband and a lot of our family believes we are actually legally married since they attended our marriage but nope it was just a private marriage between me and my boyfriend the government was not invited ex asked me over lunch to marry him he'd broken up with me about once a week for the last few months over nothing he had serious mood issues that have now been diagnosed but he was just a really difficult person to be around in general i started laughing because it was just absolutely ridiculous he asked why i was laughing and i brought up how he broke up with me every single week he flat out said he wanted to get married because then he knew he wouldn't be able to leave as if that stopped people from just getting a divorce we broke up for good not long after this but the whole thing was bananas thanks for listening to radio tts hit the subscribe button and activate the notification bell for a ring which you have to pay for click the right box for the dating advice playlist let us know in the comments what you think about these stories you

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Id: whz70PZmlz4

Length: 13min 51sec (831 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 05 2021