Women of Grace - Marriage Monday - April 6 2020

a virus saying none of the tests have proven to be effective other new tests are helping increase testing speed and supply one test that gives results in 15 minutes we'll go first to remote areas for more news from a Catholic perspective visit EWTN news.com women of Grace with Janet Williams starts now this is women of grace live discussing issues important to your life and faith spiritual insight practical wisdom join us as we transform the world one woman at a time women of grace for such a time as this now here's your host John ed Williams good morning everyone and welcome to women of grace live I am Janet Williams so very happy to be with you today we are so delighting in the fact that the Lord brings us together Monday through Friday at the same time as we discuss issues of importance to your life into your faith we always invite you to give us a call here a three three two eight eight EWTN is the way you do that that's a three three two eight eight three nine eight six we've got Ryan Penney screening the cause today so when you call eight three three two eight eight EWTN be sure to say hello to Ryan Penney I also want to remind you that we're available to you out there in social media lands our producer Jeff person is also our social media manager he'll go out there and grab your questions or your comments or your insights or your inspirations and he'll get them up on the board we love to know what's going on in your world today we know what's going on in the world in general but you know this is where we take the micro or the macro and boil it down to the micro we want to know what's going on in your world today and we're going to be talking about all kinds of issues that I think are going to resonate well with you today as you can see if you're out there in social media lands I've got my husband Jack Williams with me today why because it's monthly marriage Monday and that's the day that we come together first Monday of every month we talk about issues that are important in married life and today we're going to be taking a look at crisis marriage maker or marriage breaker and you know as we continue to make our way through this very very real moment we're experiencing together is the mystical body of Christ we take note of the fact that in these moments we can achieve great good God is always looking to work a good out of these circumstances and situations the trials of our life whether they greet us individually or corporately as the body of Christ but the fact of the matter is we have to meet that with certain virtues that will help us make our way through and tensions rise and the human condition becomes irritated and you know those those little weenie faults that we have those small little things that we can make accommodations for when we're not under stress often rise to the forefront and the little irritations and aggravations that we oftentimes excuse and others just on a daily basis we can make room for them become really exacerbated and they become the focus of our attention rather than the question well what would God have me be saying about myself in this moment and how does he want me to embrace his grace and move forward so Jack and I are gonna be talking about some of those things and some of the situations that we've faced in this time which I don't think are probably very much I far from what you have experienced as well so I want to welcome him he's we're socially distancing as you can see good morning to you good morning how are you I'm very well thank you so what would you say to all of our listeners Jack is I've been rattling on here but let me give them the number again a three three two eight eight EWTN that's a three three two eight eight three nine eight six well you know these are times you know I think they're really some people even though the children may be around they're gonna be facing certain things that that empty-nesters face to a certain extent because the dynamic of the relationship is changing and I think the first thing and the key thing to keep in mind is that you have to acknowledge the fact that the that the the relationship and the situation that you find yourself in is changing you you've got to acknowledge that fact right up front and don't deny that that's the case and then the other part of that is to realize that the fact that this relationship has changed is through no fault of either party you know we tend to you know I know I think it's just part of the human condition especially here in the United States of America where we're so prosperous and we have by and large such a comfortable lifestyle I know though there are those of us that struggle more than others for various reasons but we often have this internal need to assign blame in situations and boy if we could walk through that if we could get past that it would solve a lot of problems for a lot of us yeah and I think that sometimes you know in in stressful situations I and I think that we can all be prone to this from time to time you know we because the tension is so great we become riveted on one thing that we see that's out of place or one thing that we see that really makes us uncomfortable or is irritating to us and we hone in on that and the full weight of our tension the full weight of our emotional instability at that time if you will the uncertainty of what we're living through right now becomes focused and riveted on that one thing that drives us to absolute distraction and and so we have to be very careful of that and this is where the great gift of self-knowledge comes in to know you know where are these pressure points in in my life where if you know I call them a San Andreas Fault you know if there's too much stress put on this fault line you know it's an entire earthquake is going to occur you know there's going to be an eruption and it's gonna be in me and it's gonna come out of me and it's gonna affect everybody around me we have to know what those things are you know I think what you truer words were never spoken and I thought it was really interesting that you talked about the the macro and the micro in the beginning because what you just described that one thing is is certainly the micro but the macro of this whole thing and this is something that this is one of the things that was very clear to me very early on thanks be to God after Suzy passed away was that every complaint or every woe that I was feeling or expressing every single one of them could you know had zero concern for the plight that Suzy found herself in or or what she had to endure or what she went through but every one of them rotated back on me as to my reaction as to how that's affecting me and to what degree this is influencing me and to what degree this is not part of what my plan was yeah it's very difficult and and I can I can relate to that obviously having gone through the same thing myself we tend to fall into this victim mentality or this self-pity attitude or you know this well you know I the unexpected always catches us by surprise by its very nature and in it is gonna call out of us the need for greater virtue and that's not easily won if we're not working every day to acquire those virtues right or to cooperate with grace in the small things well that's it that's exactly right and I think that it's important that we learn from each other you know and that's why we want to hear from from the callers today 833 to 880 wtn give us a call and let us know what sorts of things maybe you have struggled with that you didn't anticipate because your situation has changed everybody's home when everybody's not normally home or what kind of great graces have you found in this moment things that have popped up that you wouldn't have expected but have been tremendous blessings for your family we want to hear about those two at 8:33 to 880 EWTN yeah I know I would phrase it simply this way you know what are the potential marriage breakers to what extent have a you know entered into the situation's that you're facing together at this moment and what are the marriage makers what what are the unexpected beautiful surprises you know I like to call them Kairos moments where Christ intersects with time we see him clearly what are those in your life and where have they I've been most evident and and how have you embraced them and that's what we want to talk about here today a 3 3 2 8 8 e a WT and that's a 3 3 2 8 8 3 9 8 6 social media go out to EWTN radios YouTube channel and Facebook page and use the chat feature text EWTN - five five zero zero zero if you're outside of North America it is country code one two zero five two seven one two nine eight five we're coming right back Jack is in the house my house our house here in Florida and we're with you today hopefully in your house we're gonna be right back stay tuned [Music] [Applause] father Mitch Pacwa sin does not unite people doesn't bring them together sin causes division and divides people up the leading Catholic voices are on EWTN radio 60 seconds with Archbishop Fulton J Sheen turn over the pages of secret scripture what do you find you find a record of men to whom God has spoken and you'll also find a record of men who listened to him in other words scripture is fulfilled in concrete living dialogues now men do not always want that dialogue with God at one time they desire it at another time they fear it Adam was afraid when God called him in the garden Cain was afraid when God spoke to him Moses was afraid before the burning bush when you and I have a dialogue with God what makes it up one thing that makes it up is first of all a consciousness of our own sin and the other is the voice of God urging us to confess it to seek his mercy the people you know and trust around EWTN on the next catholic connection with Teresa Tomeo we do our very best at Catholic connection to keep you connected to the church with interviews and issues that 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opportunities of grace God's given you to make it a marriage maker maybe making it something more than it was prior to the crisis or what are those areas that you know in your own life in your own personality perhaps or temperament that could cause exacerbation really serious issues to pop up at this period of time we're talking about all of those things as we move forward in our program today I'm going to give you those numbers again toll-free for you right here in North America eight three three two eight eight three nine eight six that's a 3 3 2 8 8 e wtn outside of North America you're number two uses country code one two zero five two seven one two nine eight five in addition you can text ewtn two five five zero zero zero or you can go out to social media land and they're at ewtn radios YouTube channel and Facebook page you can use the chat feature to get your question to us Jack we do have Mario in San Antonio Texas today he is with us via YouTube good morning Mario how are you hey Jack how are you doing this morning terrific thank you so what's your question Mario I've called him because even before this coronavirus stuff happened around Thanksgiving my wife told me she doesn't want me anymore and and she wanted a divorce and we were already living separate due to work I was in another state but I was planning to move in January I did move in January but now we're in separate places separate apartments and she's cut me off or she walked me on her phone and we have communicated verbally in about a month oh my this is a very difficult situation let me ask you a personal question here Mario is there another person involved I don't think so and and I don't have any reason to not believe her so what what would you like to see happen in this relationship I would like to preserve our marriage at the very very least I'll still communicate we don't have children but I mean I do really love her how many years were you married I see okay well um you know it's a very hard thing we're in a very very particular moment in time an unusual moment she's blocked you from communication via the phone and or through messaging I don't know about blocking numbers I would suppose that that would block a text message so you probably cannot reach out to her in that way email might be a way or even regular mail where you just send her you know a very you know I think simple note just saying have been thinking about you through this time certainly hoping that all is well with you I have you included in my prayers are tucked into my prayers I don't know what more you can do other than that Mario you wouldn't want her to take a next step which could be a really devastating moment that would involve the legal system and or pushing her more toward you know a divorce setting his sheep filed paperwork or anything do you know since we both recently moved to the state I think this next month will be the first month she's allowed to okay all right you hacked you have any words for Mario well it's it's a difficult situation to be sure and you know it's it would be easy obviously to become discouraged this situation and you know the the advice the obvious advice you know here is to really dig in in prayer to our Lord and you know sometimes that advice does not provide a lot of consolation in the moment but I would encourage you to to meditate on that situation was this were you all married in the church Mario yeah and you know I would you know I don't think that it would be out of bounds you know to go before our Lord you know if you have an opportunity to I know in many places you know congregations cannot gather but churches especially Catholic churches where the Blessed Sacrament is play is present are still open for people to pray as long as they observe appropriate social distancing measures and I would go you know before our Lord in this present moment which is where the grace can be found and you know implore him to impart to her a new reality and a new revelation of exactly what the two of you entered into when you when you approach that marriage situation and I would also ask him Mario to be quite frank to reveal to you any impediments that may have been involved prior to this I'm not suggesting at all that this is not a sacramental marriage but you know it's it's as my lovely wife is is want to say you know knowledge is power and so I ask our Lord to speak these things to to your heart and and really take the attitude of st. Joseph and you st. Joseph as your model here and and pray for her as if you would never see her again and I think you might be surprised how powerful the Lord would be able to work in in that situation yeah I think what you're saying there jack is to pray with detachment you know really and sincerely to pray for her a regardless of what it means to you in other words pray for her as if she were not your wife but somebody that you cared about very deeply and one of the very best for and there is something about that spirit of detachment rather than praying oh lord please you know I this is what I wanted but but but to say look lord I I don't I cannot control her free will and frankly you have given us free will and you will not control our free will but I do pray for her and that's not gonna be easy you know there there there is a reason there was only one Saint Joseph all right if it was easy everybody would be doing it that's right it's true but but God it wants to work something in you through this Mario and and and that's a very important thing to bear in mind I have no idea she expressed anything beyond you know I've fallen out of love with you or you know beyond any of that but but I would also ask the Lord and this is hard but I would ask the Lord to give you I think and what Jack is is saying here is to give you you know a spirit of self-assessment we talked a little bit about you know the fact that there is a benefit in self-knowledge st. Teresa of Avila says there is no growth in the spiritual life without self-knowledge it's it's key so what does God want to say to Mario even in the midst of this great pain what is he saying to you in it and this can become something that's very profitable for you regardless of what happens in this situation but you know I think to extend you know to send her a card or a little note that says you know I'm thinking about you during this time I'm hoping that you're well praying for you and you know and just sign up Mario you know just in other words that's that's an act of faith just pulling back instead of love Mario or I miss you terribly or you know please let's try this again just letting her know that you care about her I think might spark something in her I don't know but let's see what the Lord does in the midst of all of this and we hope that during this time you know the Chinese have two characters that represent crisis the word Christ this one represents danger the other opportunity and that's what we're talking about here this is crisis let's not go the way of what is dangerous let's go the way of opportunity and see how the Lord opens things up for you Mario god bless you and we hope things work out for you you know I think again this just highlights Jack you know how important it is in in marital relationships to be open and honest with each other at every turn and that's not to say that we're not going to be tried in marriage you know I mean marriage is a means to purification and it's a means to get us to heaven so we're going to run into these moments the idea is not to bail on these moments but to dig in you know soldiers run into the line of the enemy they don't retreat from it you know they run forward and that's what we have to keep doing is to run forward I think that we've got some colors out there that we want to get to right now Jeff who do we have there Michael calling the question about I just got married and before we got married everything was good now it's like early in marriage for having the struggles she's not going to mass no more she's choosing to listen to music that's not beneficial to the Christian my son controversal and I just not sure what to do I pray for all the time but I still get angry when things I'm more about Oh need some advice would you Michael this this difficult situation and the period of adjustment early on in marriage can be easy or it can be very difficult and it sounds as though there are some difficulties that are going on here clearly and it sounds as though there's some elements of resistance that are being shown that may have been you know hidden or just below the surface during the courting process but are coming into the forefront right now patience is very important Jack what would you say well yeah it's it's a difficult spot for sure you know and and we have no way of knowing what the reality of the situation is here you know we can we can really only speculate as to why this has happened you know one thing that could be speculated here you know when when we're physically or or in any other way attracted to someone and we enter into a more intimate relationship with that person and we get to know that person and start to get that know that person a little bit better our sometimes our affections and our attractions put us in a position to try to conceal the things that that person that we're so attracted to you know may not like or may not find to be so virtuous and you know if that's really a part of who we are and a part of the person that we've built up to that point it's difficult to conceal that over the long haul and this may be what Michael is running into a little bit and and perhaps once the the legal and the and the canonical forms had had run their course and had been locked into place there's a certain amount of comfort I think that comes with letting your guard down maybe you know a little bit and and moving into these things and this is this is really why this doesn't you know help Michael a ton in this moment but it's why having a spiritual director during courtship is such a good idea because this person can walk alongside you can receive special graces from our Lord to help you in that journey of self-knowledge and help each of you individually and then collectively be open and honest with each other and you know I think that's really one of the one of the things I appreciate so much about our relationship Johnetta is that we really placed a ton of importance on openness and on you know when we entered into this this whole thing but as far as practical advice for Michael in this particular situation you know I think it's important that he remember that he is called to be the servant leader of that household by virtue of his gender that's one of the roles that our Lord has set up in marriage but he is he's put in that role to lead you know he has not put in that role to drag I think that's a very important thing to remember Michael and I want to say this just just a couple of thoughts that came to me as you were speaking Jack you know I have to say that we had the benefit because we had been married before and we were in two solid marriages long lasting marriages and would have remained in those marriages had our spouses not not passed away but we brought that that what would I want to say we brought that those years of experience and that understanding of married and the knowledge of what worked and what didn't work yes and the regrets that we had truly and into our marriage so I'm going to suggest this Michael I would suggest that you meet with a couple who has a very good long-standing marriage and has it's Aesir concern for you and your wife because I think that there is a value in being mentored through difficult times by individuals who can be nonpartisan in the situation not taking a side but but being evaluative based on what you're struggling with and and bringing in and offering you their advice and their wisdom and how possibly they work through a similar moment in their early years I would also talk with your priest you know and I would be very honest with your wife I mean she's listening to this music you don't like this music the bigger thing there to me at least initially is the fact that that you remain united in your faith so that the not going to church thing I think is a pretty big issue I would continue you should continue to go to Mass but I would try to drill down ask her you know what's going on here you know I think that you have to have these serious discussions but it's very helpful to have couples that can mentor you and perhaps a priest that can walk alongside you during this time and that's the advice and counsel that I would give you in addition to obviously praying I like the novena to our lady underwear of knots it's a very powerful novena so I would give that a whirl and see what happens eight three three two eight eight EWTN that's a three three two eight eight three nine eight six that's the way that you can join us live here Jack Williams my dear husband with us today it is monthly marriage Monday we're talking about issues with regard to married married life especially in light of this very very unique moment that we're all walking through with this pandemic of kovat 19 give us a call also available to you out there at ewtn radios youtube channel and facebook page you can use the chat feature we have Barbara with us she's in Jacksonville Florida via YouTube is the way that she's connecting today good morning Barbara how are you good morning I'm doing very well thank you so much for asking and having me on the show Oh Wendell I don't happen to knit you well well good so what's going on in Barbara's world well you know I popped up about marriage and one thing is that I have I am a devout Catholic and I am NOT a virgin although now I am because I've been to confession but I have never been married I had never been married and I lied about Catholic and I was just wondering is it is it meant to be not married to be single I mean I feel that I'm finally mature in my ways to be married and to find a Catholic someone who's developed and I am okay well alright Barbara well let's do this let's have you hold you hear that music we're going to go to a break we're going to come right back to you we're inviting all of you to call us today to eight three three two eight eight EWTN that's a three three two eight eight three nine eight six maybe you have some words of wisdom for Barbara - we're gonna be right back at Jack and Janet Williams today on women of grace lives stay tuned dr. ray guarendi be grateful that you came to the faith when you did let the children see what mom is like now compared to how they were raised before mom and dad came to the faith the leading Catholic voices are on EWTN radio hi friends Janet Williams here would you like some good news in your inbox sign up for our Daily Grace lines to receive a daily reflection that includes a quote from Sacred Scripture or your favorite saint a beautiful image and a question for pondering in less than 5 minutes per day it is sure to inspire you to live deeply your Catholic faith sign up today at women of grace calm forward-slash signup or text women of Grace in all cabs to 228 28 [Music] sacrifice is a profound virtue Catholics can lovingly embrace especially during Lent but this year why not also indulge in something good for your soul give yourself the gift of EWTN s National Catholic Register and stay connected to the latest developments and historical traditions of our Catholic faith try the register for free today and get it delivered to your home office or parish to get your six free issues order online at NC register.com forward slash radio or call 800 for two one three two three zero and mention code radio the National Catholic Register it's the one indulgence you won't ever want to give up order on line today at NC register.com forward slash radio the National Catholic Register read faithfully hi this is cycle it join us later today on Catholic Answers wide as we do our best to explain and defend the Catholic faith now began three wives 6:00 p.m. Eastern on EWTN radio now back to women of grace transforming the world one woman at a time let's return to women of grace with John ed Williams well welcome back friends you are listening to women of grace alive I am Janet Williams joined today by my husband Jack and today is monthly marriage Monday we're looking to hear from you any questions that you might have about your marital relationship or insights or inspirations that you might want to give to others today the phone lines are open for you toll-free for you here in North America use this number it's a three three two eight eight EWTN that's eight three three two eight eight three nine eight six also offering you the opportunity to use ewtn radios youtube channel and facebook pages chat feature you can put your question there and we'll get it up on the board and you can text you wtn two five five zero zero zero right prior to the break there barber called in from jacksonville florida she's with us via youtube she was expressing the that here she is I believe she said she was 59 years old and she's never been married she would like to be married and she's asking the question you know what do you do in that situation and are some people meant not to be married and Barbara did I kind of summarized that pretty well very well thank you well you're welcome 58 Wow honey hold on to every year so you know this is a big question here and and I want to say this you know there's been a lot of discussion in Catholic circles I would say for the past 20 25 years with regard to the fact that is there is there a vocation to this single state and I don't think that there's a right answer or a wrong answer a yes or a no answer doesn't quite seem to cut it I think that circumstances I enter into lives that sometimes make marriage a vocational opportunity and sometimes those circumstances and situations don't enter into a life that makes the vocation of marriage a possibility but I do know this and I'm certain of this that God has a plan for each one of us and he always works in light of what happens in the natural dimension of our lives so God is God God well God's desire for us is not going to be thwarted by what happens in a broken and fallen world he's going to take the substance of that broken and fallen world and all that happens in it and he's going to use it for our very best advantage and the ultimate advantage that he wants to use it for his life on high with Christ Jesus so it's all going to tend to our ultimate salvation to our ultimate destiny which is to be with him in heaven forever marriage is one of those paths that can lead us there but it's not the only path certainly we know that some men and some women are called to a vocation that practices the evangelical counsels of chastity poverty and obedience through a religious order and within the dimension of priesthood that religious that religious person can become if he's a man a priest of God or he can become a priest without entering into our religious order so that's one way I do know a number of women who have been single and and looking at that through the lens of faith and praying carefully about it have decided to take a step towards towards a what do I want to say a quasi-religious state maybe that's crazy that's right a consecration you know where they are consecrated virgins to the Lord but they live outside of a community they're not religious women in the sense of taking those evangelical counsels but but they live a single life for the glory and honor of the Lord and for these women that's not a while I might as well do this because it isn't that they really discern this and they discern it really ultimately with the bishop because the bishop will will officiate at this consecration and then there are a number of people who you know had circumstances been different in their lives would have ended up marriage it's not to say that they're deprived however of entering into an ever-deepening relationship with our Lord or making a way a path to heaven in the circumstance that they're in and so here's my advice to you and then and I'll turn it over to Jack but here's my advice to you this is what you have you have the grace of this present moment to live this present moment according to the mind of heart and heart of God to the fullest extent of your capacity given this moment and I would say to the Lord you know this desire in my heart if it be according to your holy will bring a good solid man into my life and you might even begin to consider what you know kind of attributes you would want him to display that's what I did when suddenly you know while suddenly maybe brewing over a couple of years I began to realize that I would probably want to be married again and I just put out a little fleece to the Lord and said look I'm happy to remain a widow I'm happy to get married again but if if this desire is coming from you then this is how I'll know and I listed characteristics you know I'd like this guy this man to have been a widow I'd like this to be a practicing Catholic who can meet me spiritually and and and intellectually and I listed these things out for the Lord and Jack popped up in my life He fulfilled her He fulfilled every one of those and it was quite surprising for both of us to find ourselves in this position so I you know I think the Lord likes it when we're pretty specific with him so I would do that and but but I would I would make use of where you are right now and not let a day nor minute nor a second be be a fallow time but rather be one that that is is prone to fertility and the production of grapefruit in your life you know and I would listen to that little voice inside of your heart because I know as I look back on things now you know as resolved as I was to two being unattached for the rest of my life there was always you know if I were to be honest with myself there was always an uneasiness about that that kind of went along with that but I would take heart in a couple of things one you know it's someone once said and I can't remember who it was and then probably many people have said this but there really is no shortage of vocations within Holy Mother Church to the priests to it what we have is a shortage of people who are listening to the call of God in their life and and I say that to remind not just Barbara but all of us that our Lord has a perfect plan right now our human nature gets in the way of that plan sometimes but he has a perfect plan he he knows who should do what right and we should take heart in the fact that he does know that and that if we ask him he will tell us and I would really you know approach our Lord in that manner saying you know father God I know that you have a plan for me I know that you have a place to place me in the grander plan that you have for all of mankind and you know I as your your daughter who desires to be obedient you know would like for you to speak you know into the innermost recesses of my heart what that is and he'll plant that he will plant that desire in your heart he'll give you the piece about which path he would have you go you know I remember one of the first people that I gave any inkling to that something was going on with John ed and I as our courtship had begun we really hadn't shared that with with you know hardly anyone and Dan Burke formerly president of EWTN news founder of the avila Institute devoting all this time to that now has beaten the coronavirus against all odds got off of a ventilator thanks be to God but I shared the the information with him at one point and his response to me was you know if God is calling you to the married life then being single is gonna be really hard and you know that that's stuck with me after after he said that yeah and and and and I and I would say this that that really hard part Jack you know had things you know gone differently with us maybe there would have been someone else would have come into your life but yeah that really hard part when it doesn't work out the way that that we would like it and when that desire is still there that's a sacrificial offering to the Lord that that can lead to great sanctity I really can so I would not despair Barbara I think I think the path is open to you I guess the question is you know how do you want to walk that path and and I and I'm gonna say this to you too and and then we're gonna move on here but you know there have been a lot of people people that we know that Jack and I know personally who have met on on Catholic Catholic sites you know single sites so I wouldn't dismiss that as a potential opportunity for you for some people that wouldn't be something that they would want to do for others you know it becomes a viable way to meet somebody who is just perfectly right for them so I'm gonna tell you what I will do though I'm gonna put you into my rosary today Barbara so you're gonna be in there and I'll be I'll be lifting you up okay I think I think I'll put you into the fourth mystery you know the presentation of Jesus in the temple by Mary and Joseph I'm gonna just present Barbara to the Lord so there you have it god bless you sweetheart and thank you for your call it's a question that lots of people have are we're gonna go to Genevieve she is in Houston Texas we want to give you the number to use as well 833 to 880 EWTN that's eight three three two eight eight three nine eight six toll-free for you right here in North America Genevieve is listening to us via Guadalupe radio good morning Genevieve how are you doing well thank you and you very well thank you for asking and thank you for calling yes indeed I have a question and then I'll hang up and listen to the answer okay and the question is what exactly are we a man and a woman bowing to when we take the wedding vows in the sacramental Catholic wedding well that's that's that's a great question to ask and we have to understand too that this is not a light moment this is a moment that that is replete with with a great deal of thought it's it's it's a moment that is replete with sacramental Grace's to make it through the trials that may come to us in married life the grace is there to make good on those vows so Jack what are we vowing to when we get married well I think we're vowing to everything that God initially created us to be if you look back at at Adam and Eve you know they they really are a reflection of the triune God you know the love between the father and the son so intense that it gives forth you know new life in in the holy spirit and that is modeled in the natural by the husband and the wife a love that's so intense and so pure that it brings forth another life right and and that's really I think what we're what we're being called to do is to model the reality of God to all of those around us and it's it's much the same sort of thing that that anyone who's called to any state in life is is called to model where they are planted right for lack of a of a better term and you know in so doing we are just naturally going to provide Grace's to the other that we wouldn't otherwise have that will help to get us to heaven and you know that was that was really what was stressed to us more than anything as father Wayman Eve's just walking alongside us during our marriage preparation is that you know this is this is oriented towards getting each other to heaven and and that's that's the the endgame for all of this is that God is so deeply and madly in love with us that he wants to provide the mechanisms that most likely create a situation where we will spend all of eternity with him in true love and that's why we have free will and that's why all of this is set up the way it is set up so that nothing is forced nothing is is is prepackaged you know nothing is beyond our free will and and really you know we don't even understand in this life the degree to which everything is oriented towards perfection when we get to heaven and you know this is this is what we're we're not only vowing to ourselves but it's what our Lord provides to us you know whether we understand it or not and Genevieve let me just refer you to the Catechism of the Catholic Church and if you don't have a catechism at home there you can go online and you can find this and you can just put in Catholic catechism and put these paragraph numbers in and they'll pop up for you it's numbers 16 25 through 16 31 it talks about marriage and it talks about the the vows but but remember and you'll recall this from your own wedding ceremony that the priest will ask you three questions and and these are determined questions and these these are very specific and they're there for a reason and he'll say Genevieve and whoever your husband name would be have you come here to enter into marriage without coercion freely and wholeheartedly and if you say no well then that's the end of the deal right there if you say yes of course then you're gonna he's gonna proceed to the next one are you prepared as you follow the path of marriage to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live and this is the inter soluble bond of marriage being expressed here that marriage is not meant to lead to divorce that that what God is joined together man must not put asunder commonly disregarded today because of the culture that we live in and of course the answer to that is yes so you're promising to love which is a decision not an emotion it's hard to love sometimes but it's a decision we choose to love it's not a passion we might not feel it we might be boiling mad but what we're going to follow the way of love and honor that means to respect and respect you know you can go all through the the categories of that which would include faithfulness would include a right intention towards each other etc and then this third one are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ in this church and so you know obviously he wants to hear a yes on all of this I have or I am now here are the vows here are the vows he will continue and say since it is your intention to enter into the covenant of holy matrimony join your right hands and declare your consent before God in his church and then he'll have the groom and the bride say these things I so and so take you so and so to be my husband or my wife depending upon who's saying these vows I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad in sickness and in health I will love you and honor you all the days of my life and so there you have it so you know and the bride says the same and I promise me faithful to you in good times and in bad is another way that this true can be faithful same words the same meaning but you can use either word so there you go go ahead basically the vows that we are taking means that we will not commit adultery we will not mistreat the person by not having a home and providing things for the spouse well that's exactly right that's exactly right now let me just say about represent well no it represents a whole lot more than that but that some of what is being stated here is that you know there's going to be this this mutual concern for the other and the honoring and the respecting of the person obviously you're going to take care of their daily needs but that goes both ways right and and as far as the dog tree goes you know and this is very important to know people are frail and people are weak so when when the church looks at the Nullification or the process of a decree of nullity for a couple adultery is never an issue you know adultery does not invalidate what was spoken at the time of the marriage which is what a decree of nullity says that there was not a sacramental marriage due to an impediment that pre-existed hence those three questions that the priest asks prior to but human nature can be very weak and frail and adultery can happen a habit of adultery leads to different questions that could indicate an impediment existed at the beginning and inability to be faithful or to commit but while that is a terrible terrible situation to occur in a marriage that can be healed and and not that's one of the worst parts you know for better or for worse that's a worse part but the marriage bond and the graces of marriage can get a couple through that if they are both willing to work at it so I have to say that about adultery and I know I know couples whose marriages were strained because of that but have become much better in the aftermath of it because they worked so hard together to repair the breach that was created it doesn't excuse it but it does say that the grace of marriage can overcome it well I think it should be stated here that really if you look at strictly the natural aspects of those promises made in those vows that's really a stepping off point you know and if someone is entering into the covenant thinking that their only responsibility is to fulfill the natural meaning of those vows you know that's probably not the best place to start right does that help you Genevieve so in other words the spiritual is just as important a spiritual need of each spouse well the spiritual and what do we mean by that you know spiritual attends to the soul into the spirit of the person that encompasses the emotional well-being the psychological well-being the the protection of the integrity of the other person that comes by way of that element of respect the incorporation of that other person's dignity you know all of that is incorporated into those words and and every both parties should be looking out for the best thing for the other party if both parties were work towards unselfish motivations work towards the benefit of the other it's going to be a beautiful marriage indeed so I I hope that that helps you if there's if there's a different quality that's going on with regard to this it's good to seek out the help and a provision that a priest can provide okay thank you so much for your time yeah and get out there to those paragraphs and see what they speak to you and take it into your time of prayer sweetheart god bless you know bye-bye solutely thank you you're welcome bye-bye let's go to Betty she's in st. Louis Missouri we're gonna try Missouri we're gonna try to get her as quickly as we can she is with us via Alexa today good morning Betty how are you good morning Jeanette and I I had to laugh out loud when I heard you told God what you wanted because I did the same thing it did you Wow yes did and your screener asked me if I'd be willing to share some of the things I said I said number one practicing Catholic number two near my own age financially responsible and he have his own money intelligent respectful of others demonstrative ly loving have a sense of humor and I'd really like him to be a little taller than me and so I told God you got to put him right in front of me because I'm not going in bars looking because I'm 55 years old at the time and sure enough a month later I was heading up this commission for my parish and and our pastor put this fellow on my commission who was every one of those characteristics and then some we had a beautiful beautiful marriage we were married five and a half years and then God took him but I figure hey I appreciate all the time God gave me with this wonderful wonderful man and he did deliver just what I asked for ah Betty that is such a beautiful way I'm so glad that you are last color that we can take today because you ended it on such a lovely note and I'm sure that Barbara I hope you're still listening I'm sure that you're edified by Betty story there so maybe the Lord is speaking a word to you honey be very specific and there you go let's see what happens and let us know Barbara and Betty thank you so much for your openness I sure do appreciate it and God bless you but by now Jack I don't know what else to say good job out of you baby and so friends thank you for joining us for another monthly marriage Monday Jack we'll be back in the house the first Monday of May and until you and I are together again tomorrow I asked that the Lord bless you and keep you well bye-bye now [Music] [Applause] you

Channel: EWTN

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Keywords: Catholic, EWTN, Christian, television

Id: wO0PrzdR594

Length: 54min 18sec (3258 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 06 2020