Winning Speech - 2019 Humorous Speech Contest, Toastmasters District 114 - Mathew George

[Applause] man makes the mistakes and mistakes make the man you and I were born to make mistakes by virtue of being human it's in our DNA but as we like to say in Kenya me I was born special have you ever made a huge mistake in your life if you had say I now count all those eyes and multiply them by a factor of two to the power of eighty seven point five times infinity squared that's how many mistakes I've made in my life you see Thomas Edison tried ten thousand times before he finally made the light bulb I've made ten thousand mistakes and I still haven't had my light bulb moment y'all know Mark Zuckerberg that's me with mistakes only if I had my own social media site it would be called mistake book you know Steve Jobs that's me with mistakes only my name would be Steve can't get a job but I wasn't always like this maybe the reason for my mistakes began long before I was born nine months to be precise you say by mistake my parents told me that I was a mistake but they kept me thank God for that the night before I was born my father was having a party at my house his house the drinks were flowing the music was thumping everyone was having a good time in fact they slept at 2:00 a.m. but I would have none of it by 5:00 a.m. my mother's water broke she turned over in bed and tapped my father and said George it's happening we need to go now my father must have thought he was dreaming because he mumbled in his sleep hmm it's okay we'll go in the morning the baby can wait my mother yelled at the top of her lungs the whole neighborhood woke up he got into the car my father poor guy drunk as a skunk he got in we all got in and at 7:00 a.m. I was born the man who makes the mistakes had been made fast forward a few more years to an hour six years old and I had this peculiar fear of turning off the bathroom lights now to explain this fear we have to go back to the village in India you see in the village the toilet or the bathroom is a distance away from the main house now in case you're wondering why it's because if things go badly in the toilet the house is safe but the problem with India is we have these huge cockroaches and there are no ordinary cockroaches they are special they can fly so I used to take my shower in the corner of the bathroom praying that the cockroach decides not to fly today and when I was done I used to switch off the light and make a dash for the main house now I imported this fear to Kenya when I used to take a shower I used to do it in my parents bathroom I finished off dry myself off switch off the light and run into the parents bedroom across the hallway and into my room now one day I was following the standard protocol I finished my shower I dried myself off I switched off the light and I ran naked as a jaybird into a room full of ladies my mother's friends halfway to the nut run I noticed all these eyes staring at me confused and amused this made me run even faster I reached the door but to my shock it was locked I made a u-turn and ran back into the bathroom the dark bathroom you see I'd much rather face the monsters in there than the ones out here needless to say after that day my fear of cockroaches duck bathrooms and monsters disappeared first word a few more years - when I was 13 years old and like many boys that age I had to face the knife you all know what that means if you don't you'll have to google it because the rules prevent me from explaining any further the surgical procedure was done and I was taken home to rest with nothing but a key coy to cover me unfortunately that day we had guests feeling more unfortunate they had a daughter my age you see my parents told her parents that I had faced the knife but they didn't tell her because she's a child she happily skipped into the room ready to play hide and seek as usual not knowing that that day I would rather just hide and not be sought she came closer I said stop she said why I said because I I have a flu and I don't want you to get it she said oh that's so sweet Matthew to my relief she left the room not to my relief I heard her say to her parents in the next room mum dad I think he got it from me I had the same thing last week but now it's gone needless to say her parents never came visiting a long time after that ladies and gentlemen these three stories tell you why I am like this full of mistakes more than the ordinary person have you made a huge mistake in your life that you were hung up on well I'm here to tell you that it happens to all of us but you come out of it a better person it's also okay to laugh at yourself because if you don't laugh at yourself people will laugh at you if you do laugh at yourself people will love with you like you're laughing with me so ladies and gentlemen I invite you take off the tower take off the key coy and let's make mistakes and let's laugh at them because man makes the mist and mistakes make the mr. kaan sister

Channel: Vocalize Your Vision

Views: 322,541

Keywords: mathew george, engage, public speaking, toastmasters, humorous, contest, winner, speech, funniest, best, top, district, finals, comedy, stand up, east africa, kenya, world, speaker, winning, funny, humor, humour, jokes

Id: BeQ5g8lfQTc

Length: 6min 52sec (412 seconds)

Published: Thu May 16 2019