- Today, we ask the age old question. - Will a pizza roll? - Let's talk about that. (gentle, upbeat music) - Good Mythical Morning. - And welcome back to
the week of Megacality! (Link laughing) Now, there are a plethora
of snacks that come to life with just a few minutes in the microwave, or oven, for you intellectuals out there. And one of the treats
has been scalding mouths and filling tummies for decades is the mighty Totino's pizza roll. - Not a sponsor. All right, do you have a go-to
Totino's pizza roll flavor? - Completely off the top of my head, I know that they have cheese, cheesy taco, combination, pepperoni,
pepperoni trio, sausage, supreme triple cheese,
triple meat, nacho cheese, buffalo chicken, cheeseburger, spicy taco, bacon and pepperoni, and
macaroni and cheese with bacon, but be honest, they all kind
of taste the same to me. - (laughing) Okay. And even with all of those flavors, we assert that Totino's,
y'all could be doing even more and you're playing it way too safe. So we're gonna take pizza
rolls to the next level! It's time for- - [Both] Will it pizza roll? - So to qualify as a pizza roll, the dish must have a dough pocket. - Uh-huh. - Cheese or cheese-like filling. - Uh-huh. - And some other chunky substance innards. - Oh, yeah, say innards again. - Innards again. - All right, let's get to our first one. Pizza rolls have solidified themselves as a quick daytime, dinnertime,
and late nighttime snack, but they have yet to take
on the most important time of the day, breakfast time. Now, we could have gone
with a classic bacon, egg, and cheese, but that's
not pushing it far enough. That's the world that
Totino's might be living in, but not yet, so we're
pushing it all the way to the best cereal ever,
Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Pizza roll-afying that. Presenting the cinnam-Totino's crunch. Josh, what did you do? - [Josh] So, we took a
cinnamon flavor dough, rolled that out, stuffed it
with a mascarpone ricotta and condensed milk fillings- - Mascarpone. - [Josh] Gotta have milk with your cereal and then there's a cinnamon
sugar coating on it and then a cinnamon
butter sort of drizzle. - So you mean all this time, that I've been saying it marscapone and I don't say it very often, but I said it at least
six times in my life. I've been wrong all six times? - [Josh] I watched a lot
of Giada de Laurentiis. - Oh, Giata. You know she says it right. - [Josh] She loves the spaghetti. (Rhett laughing) - [Both] Dink it and sync it. - Oh, it made a squishy noise. - That was the mascarpone. - Uh-huh, and now my face
is making a happy noise. - We should call Giata and
tell her about the mascarpone. - [Josh] Bravo, signore Rhett. Bravo. (Rhett laughing) - We did meet her, but she
didn't give us her number. - No. She was nice, but she's not like, I'm gonna give my number to you nice. I mean, that would be. - I didn't ask her for a number. This is great. Let's focus. This packaging is begging to be sold. I mean, I don't have to tell you that this is absolutely fabulous. - I'm surprised that they
don't have a breakfast snack or breakfast version. The thing is is that you get into like, a binge-watching situation. You pop in Totino's. So sometimes on a really,
really lazy weekend, you start binging- - I can't even get it into my mouth. - You start binging in the
morning and you keep binging all through the day and into the night. These would work all day. You could just sit there
eating these all day, not even getting up. Just peeing into a little cup. I've done it. - Yeah. - You can't poop into the cup in the room. Let me tell you that right now. Don't do that. That never works, unless
you have a really solid top. - Solid top.
- Yeah. - If that doesn't make you
hungry, I don't know what will. - Very tight top. (laughing) - [Link] Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Will it pizza roll? - [Both] Yes! - You know where it's
not only pizza rolls, but all frozen snacks could improve? - [Both] Fish. - (laughing) Because
outside of fish sticks, what do they got? They got nothing, that's what they got. - Nothing. - So if we're gonna make
an iconic frozen fish and pizza roll combination,
it's gotta be from a beautiful, nationally established franchise
where you can get fish, shellfish, and out of this world biscuits. Oh, yes, it's gotta be Red Lobster. We now grace you with the
cheddar bay piscuit rolls. Piscuit. It's like pizza and some biscuit together. - Oh. - [Rhett] Josh, what did you do? - [Josh] So we took
cheddar bay biscuit dough, rolled that out. That is the shell. Is that what it's called? - That is the shell. - That is a good start to any sentence. - [Josh] Right? And then we were inspired
by the endless shrimp feast at Red Lobster, which did not
make Trevor poop his pants and that is slander, if you say he did. So that's Walt's shrimp, coconut shrimp, garlic butter shrimp,
and then shrimp scampi. - Who is Walt? - [Josh] If you don't know. - If you know, you know. And if you don't know, you don't know. And this is a butter dipping? - We're dipping in some butter. Should I know who Walt is? I don't. - Walt Disney loved Red Lobster. - Oh, really? - Yeah. - I don't know. - Walt Whitman loved Red Lobster. - I wonder if this is a gateway drug. - Walt Chamberlain. - Maybe a gateway food. - Loved. (laughing) - For kids to get comfortable
with eating shellfish. - And if you hold it to your ear, you can hear the indigestion. - (laughing) This is so good. - [Rhett] Man, Josh, you did it, man. - I love shrimp. - You've done it. - I just need to come out and say it. I don't know what it is. You know if I can order
shrimp on a burrito or shrimp on a stick
or something like that, I'm gonna order the shrimp. - Well, you need to become a spokesman against the shrimp trawl boats. Whatever you call them. - Oh, really? - Yeah, they're just
ripping up the ocean floor. Maybe you could be the face of anti. I love shrimp, but I don't love ripping up the bottom of the ocean floor. - Are you making us sad?
- My name's Link. Yeah, I'm trying to ruin shrimp for you. - I was in cheddar bay biscuit land. - I saw you enjoying yourself and I wanted to give
you a dose of reality. - Come on, man. - Sorry, man. - That happens with everything now. - Yeah, everything's been ruined. - That's what 2021 is all about. - I'm not arguing with it. You know, you're right. This is my last shrimp ever. A great way to go out, though. This is amazing. - But would it change anything, if we decided to call
this seaman's delight? - Yeah, it kind of makes it. I'm not gonna say. - Don't say anything else. Red Lobster, will it pizza roll? - [Both] Yes! - The Mythical Kitchen is
always cooking up a good time. Subscribe to their channel for
shows like Meals of History, where Josh and Emily team
up to recreate dishes from super old menus. You can also listen to the latest A Hot Dog is a Sandwich
podcast to hear Josh and Nicole and their culinary hot takes. It gets hated over there. Not too heated. It's a friendly little back and forth. Available wherever you get your podcasts. - All right. You know when you're
really hungry for dessert, but you can't decide between
cookies or ice cream? Cookies, ice cream, cookies, ice cream, until that was solved
with the iconic chipwich, which is ice cream sandwich between two chocolate chip cookies. - Right. - But then that created the
chipwich pizza roll conundrum. Chipwich, pizza roll, chipwich,
pizza roll, conundrum, which we're gonna solve right now with the chipwich and roll. - I kind of think that you just created a conceptual conundrum just for the sake. - Just to kind of solve it. - Your own argument? - Yeah, just so we could
justify this exercise. - It's common. Create an emergency and
then seize power. (laughing) - Josh, it looks like you've
doused chocolate chips all over a dough pocket that I would guess has cream
cheese ice cream inside. Maybe some cookie bits. - [Josh] Was Rhett talking about counter-insurgency strategy? - No.
- I wasn't listening. - I don't have any plans. - [Josh] Yeah, you're right. Cookie crust, cream cheese
ice cream in the middle, rolled in chocolate chips. Microwave for eight seconds,
just to take the chill off. - Microwave for eight seconds? - So it's still cold. - Like riding a bull. Is that how you timed it? You watched a rodeo? - [Josh] No, we got a
bull in the parking lot. That's what all the poop is. It wasn't Trevor. (laughing) - It was a bull. It was bull poop. - I was gonna pull it apart. - [Rhett] I think I'm just gonna bite it. - Is it hard? Dink it and sync it. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's gonna hurt
your tender a little teeth. - Oh. Look at that cream cheese
ice cream in there. - This kinda strikes me as a
cannoli without the leakage. - Oh, a leak-less cannoli. - [Josh] They said it couldn't be done. - It should have been done. - It does look like one. - Because every time I eat a big cannoli. (crew laughing) Every time I eat a big
cannoli, sometimes it just. - I'm not taking the bait. - [Josh] You gotta suck
and bite at the same time. - Suck and bite at the same time. - [Josh] That way, the filling
gets an evening out of you. - Because you don't wanna do this and then have it squirt out. - [Josh] No. - Yeah, you don't wanna do that. So you solved that
conundrum, a real conundrum. - I like. So it's a self-contained
system of canoli experience, which even without the grand
tastes that I'm experiencing, makes this amazing. - You could have gone
to nine to 10 seconds. Get a bigger bowl next time. - You know what? - [Josh] Rub your hands on it. - I'm starting to get concerned that maybe we're not
pushing this far enough because all of this is amazing. There's just so much white
space in the Totino's world that here we are three rounds in and everything's just an
obvious gift to society. - Really, to Totino's. - Chipwich, will it pizza roll? - [Both] Yes! - Does this ever happen to you? You've been craving pickles, but you just know the
juice must be contaminated with other people's finger flavor by now? Well, never fear. Now, you can get all
that salty, wet goodness in just minutes flat without the worry of Jim
Bob's finger residue. We now present the pickle roll. - Oh! - The pickle roll! - [Link] Josh, what did you do? - [Josh] You could've just
said Josh's finger residue because I go real hard in that
pickle jar in the kitchen. - Okay, we did not need to know that. - [Josh] And so we've
made a dill pickle crust, instilled with cornichons,
bread and butter pickles, kosher dill pickles, spicy pickles, and a little bit of cheddar cheese. - Cornichons. - [Link] Cornichons. - It's just a small pickle. I've been calling those cornich-ions. I mean, I get everything wrong. I learn so much on it. - Cornichons. I wanna call this
Totino's pregnancy rolls. They don't get you pregnant, but they make you happy that you are. Right there on the bottom. - But what if they could get you pregnant? Listen, fertility is becoming a big issue. I think it's the plastics in
the ocean, that's in our food. Fertility is just, I hate to be that guy- - No, you are the guy! - But fertility is dropping off a cliff. We're in children of men times. Pretty soon, it's gonna be like the freaking "Handmaid's Tale". - How are babies made now? - By pickle rolls!
- By Totino's. - These things that they made
on this show a while back. I don't know how it works
scientifically, but. - I think you have to. It's kind of like a tampon situation. - Yeah, it's a suppository. - Oh, no. - You can supposit at any place. - Okay. Okay. - [Stevie] Seaman's delight. (Rhett laughing) - That took us there. Let's dink it. - Yeah, I don't want to
eat it now. (laughing) - And sync it. Oh, that is a pungent pocket
of peculiar pregnancy. - Mom, do you know what I learned on Good Mythical Morning today? Did you know you can get pregnant? Did you know the world is
ending because of shrimp? - Something to do with trawling. - Shrimp and plastics and fertility and Links said these little green things can make you pregnant. Shut up, Junior! That's houses all across America. - This is not bad. This is not bad. - Yeah, I kind of like it. I like pickled flavored things. - I don't think I'd want
to eat more than two, but I'm not pregnant. - [Rhett] Right. - [Link] And I don't wanna get pregnant. - [Rhett] I love the dill dusting. I love the color. How do you get the color to be that? - [Josh] Green? - Yeah, that green. - You know, a little bit of green. - Add a little green. - [Josh] Sometimes a lot, though. - Is this gonna be a queen sweep? I don't know. Pickle. Will it pizza roll. - [Both] Yes? - Barely. If someone's describing dish and they talk about how
the person who made it really put their foot in it, that is most definitely a good thing. - Yes. - But does that mean that we
can apply that phrase literally in a pizza roll with an
assortment of animal feet? - Yeah. - Let's find out with
Toe-tinos pizza rolls. (Rhett laughing) - Emphasis on the toe. - Box! - Oh. - That's how you emphasize the toe. Well, it doesn't say it on there. (crew laughing) - [Link] Could have put the E. - It's for you to emphasize. - Twinkle thingies. - They can't change their brand. - Yeah, that's true. - It's just, it's all in the commercial. - [Link] Animal feet. Oh, gosh. - So we've got chicken feet, pickled pigs feet, and frog legs. Not just frog feet, frog legs? - Are we missing anything? - [Josh] That is correct, yes. The feet were technically
in there, as well. What you're missing is that
these were foot essenced by Trevor in a shamanistic ritual. He waved his bare feet near them to waft the essence in like
a truffle-scented rice. - It doesn't smell. I don't get that Trevor essence or the feet within essence yet. - [Josh] Do you want Trevor
to come essence table side? - No, I do not. - I'm gonna bust one open busted open. - [Rhett] Bust it open. - [Link] It's almost like pureed. Is there any bones we should be aware of? - Oh, gosh, why is that? - [Josh] I sure hope not. - What is that super pink part? Is that a pickled pig's foot? - [Josh] That is a
pickled pig's foot, yes. - And limburger cheese? - [Josh] Yeah, they say
it smells like feet. - I think you gotta seal this one back up and them you gotta pop
it fully in your mouth. I don't think you can get a bite of this. I think you've gotta do
full pillow in the mouth and if the, hey, listen. If this works.
Yeah. - Big if. If this works, not only
will it be a queen sweep, but I think we can market
these directly to podiatrists to sell in their waiting rooms. (crew laughing) - Yeah. - You're sitting there
thinking about your own feet. Getting a little hungry? - Yeah, put it together. - Oh, we've got Toe-tinos pizza rolls. - You could also do it
in a pedicure place. What's that called? - Nail salon. - Oh. (crew laughing) - Yeah. Hey, you learned something today, too. - What did you learn? - To shut up about being such a downer. - I learned how to pronounce
cornichons and marscapone the other way, which is the correct way. You learned the world is ending
and what a nail salon is. (Rhett laughing) - All right, let's get it over with. Dink it and sync it. - Crunchy. Could use a sauce. It's a little dry. - Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of breading. That does help. You're kind of waiting for
the other foot to drop. - Yeah. This is like something you have to eat. You know what I'm saying? Somebody says this is all we
got and you need calories. - Think about the ad sense
money rolling in on Wiki feet, if these were in the side columns. - Oh, gosh. That's a good idea, too. - [Link] That's the place to sell this. - [Rhett] So we got a market. - Because they're the ones
salivating over the feet. - So we know the market. We've done the market research. We gotta work the taste. - There's an opportunity there. It doesn't taste good. - Yeah, it's horrible. - It doesn't taste. I mean, it's not repulsive.
- Listen. - I'm not like- (retching) But I'm not like. - It's all about the marketing, though. The product doesn't have to be good. The product just has to be bought. (laughing) Marketing 101. - Turn it on itself, like
feet never tasted so foot. - Yeah. Yeah, that's not good, but
that's a good place to start. - I just can't. We can't yes it to get the queen sweep, just because we can wrap it in marketing. - I think we can, though. (laughing) I think we hold that kind of power. I think we can make people
think things about this by manipulating them. - All right, I think that needs to start with it actually tastes pretty good. - It's pretty good. - I kinda like it. - Yeah, it's a little rustic. - Animal feet. Will it pizza roll? - [Both] Yes! And the queen sweep! You did it, Josh! - [Josh] No, we did it! - And it was honest. - [Josh] Yeah. - An honest queen sweep. - [Josh] Last one took
some work, but yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Thank you and thank you for subscribing and clicking that bell. - Totino's, call us or just
take credit for all of this. - Yeah, we don't care. - We'll know what's up and
you know what time it is. - My name is Ali McSwain and
I just produced something that you might enjoy. - Remix that. Remix that. Remix that. Remix that. (gentle, upbeat music) And now it is time to spin
the wheel of Mythicality. - We did enjoy that. - Nice! - Thank you for that. Click the top link to see
which crazy situations we would actually roll
with in Good Mythical More. - And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality is gonna land. - [Nicole] Ketchup is a smoothie. - [Josh] Yeah, I put ice in my cereal. So what? - [Nicole] That makes no sense. - [Josh] A hot dog is a sandwich. - [Nicole] A hot dog is a sandwich. (both laughing) - [Josh] What?
