Why Woke People Are Their Own Worst Enemies

today I'm going on my first blind date ing can be really difficult when you're non-binary and a bearded woman at the same time well it sounds like this person is well trained and complaining about oppression that was self-inflicted if you think it's hard to date with a beard then just shave it but I feel confident about my date seeing my beard it's not something that makes me feel self-conscious anymore this seems like a conflicting message first it's difficult and you're oppressed but now it doesn't matter the framing here is dumb as well this person chooses to have a beard but frames it as if it was inflicted upon them like a weird SCAR or it's like being born with a missing limb which is about as ridiculous as me saying that I'm oppressed because I got a tattoo in my arm that I refuse to do anything about both of these problems can be fixed with a laser that being said this is 28 year old Clyde with a K who is about to go on a blind date as a part of a series called dating difference Clyde is a biological female that went on testosterone at 21 years old and now identifies as a non-binary bearded woman which is confusing so we're going to largely ignore that part and just focus on the date a date where we can clearly see a person who is choosing to do a bunch of non-conventional things yet is expecting to be treated like those things are normal and by that first clip we can very well see that they aren't happy about people's reactions to those choices being a bearded woman is just like dating anybody else there just happens to be a beard there it's not like dating anyone else that's why you're on a show called dating difference speaking of being non-conventional do you know it also is not conventional and bad for your dating life smelling bad that's why you need Reed Street soap Read Street soap is a company that is dedicated to providing you the best smelling soap with the best possible ingredients this blue color scrub Sandalwood soap smells so good that I have a bar solely dedicated to my computer desk so I can spend my whole work day smelling it or you can get the bimbo bar which smells like sweet strawberries but that's not all Read Street soap is constantly developing and improving their style so not only do you have the best ingredients and the best smelling soaps but also the coolest designs this new one here looks like a day at the beach and there are more new designs to come in near future you can check out Reed Street Soap by clicking on the first link in the description alright let's get into the video my name is Clyde I'm 28 years old and I live in Omaha Nebraska [Music] today I'm going on my first blind date I'm not what people expect to see on the dating apps so I get a lot of oh you're disgusting and because of that I've actually deleted all of the dating apps I strongly agree I'll give Clyde points for doing that dating apps are cancer and the world would be better if everyone just deleted them the normalization of dating apps is a symptom of people lacking in social skills and a social life where way too many people use their computer as their primary method of socializing to the extent where many people don't have a real life person to tell them to not dress like a grandma at 28 years old when you're going on a first date anyway let's meet Clyde's day Eli I'm a little bit nervous because I've never been on likewise [Music] an Eli I'm Clive with a K hi Clyde why did they zoom in on Eli doing that it very much makes me think that Eli was thinking the instant I watched into the room I regretted signing up for this blind date and I don't want to be here what do you do for fun I play lots of tabletop games I just recently joined a DND group on Sundays oh very cool my character is a 75 year old woman who says stuff like that boy right I love that that's great well at least the outfit makes sense now now I know that DND is pretty big especially on YouTube and a lot of people enjoy tabletop gaming these days hey I for the board game night yeah board game night's cool all this stuff is cool but you can tell that Eli doesn't care about the subject at all when things like this are sad I just recently joined a DND group on Sundays oh very cool oh cool with no emotion is not commentary from someone who is genuinely interested they are just being polite and giving you a chance to speak and you can further tell that there is no interest here because Eli immediately switches the topic instead of asking more about tabletop gaming I haven't played board games in a while I play a lot of video games though nothing crazy I don't like shooting games yeah I like war games like no thank you I already have anxiety I don't need it anymore I've got some at home thank you I'm just gonna say cheers to First blind date Amen to that there we go Cheers Cheers I wonder if there was a big cut here because this part of the conversation was super awkward and had no vibe it's just my name is Clyde and I like this followed by my name is Eli and here's what I like then the conversation just comes to a dead stop normally if you were on Clyde's side of the table you would see that Eli isn't interested in talking about tabletop games and instead question Eli about what kind of video games they like or talk about a current event involving video games to find Common Ground most people like video games so Clyde is probably also interested in them and can probably find something to talk about with Eli on that topic now what this person might do is blame the beard for the awkward conversation as Clyde multiple times blamed a beard that can be removed for various problems and kind of suggests that you're a bigger if you don't like it however Clyde's problem on this date is purely an issue with social skills for example on a different episode of this show they put on a girl with no arms a person with a real disability that cannot be changed and her date went perfectly fine do you have a hot take on anything um I have a few hot takes you're not gonna like the first one one cats are not my favorite animal I think snakes and reptiles secondly very controversial take I feel like ghost assist I'm sorry yeah ghost could be out there aliens are for sure out there for sure maybe it's the aliens disguised as ghosts yeah yeah stuff like this is a big part of the reason why I don't like the whole it's so hard to be me oppression Olympics it frequently causes people to not notice obvious ways they can improve their situation more importantly if someone like Inga here who has far more limitations than you can figure out how to socialize and be likable despite her unfortunate circumstances then so can you getting back to the original date Clyde steps away to do a little confessional and misses all the social cues that show that Eli is uncomfortable by saying that the date is going well and then this happens welcome back thank you I liked somebody that likes to go on adventures with me I like to travel I like to hike I've actually been trying to persuade friends of mine to go on road trips for years really but I'm such a nervous passenger nobody's taking me yet wow bad move telling your date how socially undesirable people find you is not smart on a first outing that's like going to a job interview and saying I show up late a lot and I don't work very hard no one's going to hire you if you say that actually it's probably worse than that because Clyde essentially said to Eli I'm really annoying I can't drive and people refuse to be around me for long periods of time dating isn't hard because you have a beard Clyde dating is hard because you aren't good at giving people a reason for why they should date you now I know some people who are less socially aware might say but Eli is laughing and smiling clearly there's some connection here for the most part A lot of those seem to be courtesy laughs and courtesy Smiles a genuine smile is about the eyes not the mouth in a number of these situations like this this one here Eli's eyes are emotionless despite having a smile on this is also compounded by the fact that Clyde sits almost completely still while talking with little or no arm movement or gesturing and it comes off as creepy I mean the girl without arms gestured more than Clyde do you ever like go on Hikes or anything I used to I have fibromyalgia and some balance problems so but a walk through town could probably be done if done carefully I do feel like the disability has impacted my dating life in that people don't always view me as a viable partner or they'll think oh I can't have sex with this person and I'm just sitting here like really um yeah that's a valid concern you can obviously see the difference between these two which is that Clyde is morbidly obese and very out of shape and Eli is not I'm not sure why this is glossed over so much in these spaces but sex requires that you have at least some physical conditioning preferably a lot so regardless of appearance people questioning if Clyde can have sex is reasonable outside of that Clyde appears to have health issues that are largely self-inflicted obviously obesity would be an example of that but fibromyalgia was also mentioned and you can see Clyde walking with a cane though not with any sort of noticeable limp no I'm not a doctor but I do have some medical training because for a few years I wanted to be a physical therapist and I've been into Health Fitness and Nutrition for over a decade when I was in the fitness industry and taught yoga I had many students come into my class with fibromyalgia first off it seems to me like this diagnosis is given when doctors have no idea what's wrong with you second judging by personal experience and looking at the very vague symptoms that the CDC gives it looks like this disease is largely chronic pain issues that are caused by bad Health choices or mental health issues that are causing psychosomatic symptoms for example TMJ is listed as a symptom if you have TMJ fix your neck posture for about a week and see if that cures it or there are things listed like digestive problems like abdominal pain and bloating if you have those issues try removing beans and wheat from your diet yes that includes soy that is in processed foods and your daily coffee that being said whether this cures clad or not outside of getting therapy which would also help I guarantee you that Clyde's symptoms will be heavily reduced with proper diet and exercise stop eating processed foods at McDonald's shop in the outer sections of the store where all the non-processed foods are and learn how to cook as for the cane and issues with chronic pain yoga can work wonders for that seeing that Clyde said that they have balance issues which is probably why cane is being used yoga and maybe some athletic drills would definitely help that recently this old video here has been trending Again on YouTube with a paratrooper who couldn't walk because he did too many jumps I guess that's hard on the legs or something anyway he fixes diet did some Diamond Dallas Page yoga and now he's thin and can run now I'm not saying that yoga can cure all of life's issues but the health of our skeletal system is heavily based movement movement is how synovial joints like your knees hips shoulders and elbows get nutrition and lubrication also resistance training like body weight exercises from yoga push-ups squats or weightlifting promotes bone growth and certainly stronger muscles will make it easier to walk without the assistance of a Cane anyway let's continue the date I think red flags for me like I pay attention to how people treat like wait staff or like animals if I think that they're not treating animals well then I'm out yeah I get a lot of people who fetishize my beard really yeah I don't get the argument of they fetishize me for this thing I did to myself and that's bad you made the decision to grow the beard which is weird you choose to not shave it and you're expecting normal people to find that attractive of course people are going to fetishize it that's the people who are into it you aren't going to get someone conventional if you do unconventional things and if you don't like that just shave the beard this statement was very childish and makes Clyde sound very underdeveloped for a 28 year old I would say my confidence crew is my beard grew so how did you feel when you first saw the beard I wasn't expecting it but um it's not a big deal awesome yeah just kind of watching myself Blossom with it yeah as I've learned to care for it properly and stuff you know I'm pretty proud of who I've become looks really cool yeah yeah this is supposed to be a date not a therapy session now this might be a hard thing to hear but nobody except for maybe your mom and close friends care about how much you've improved people who don't know you just want to see excellence and they'll respond with appreciation when it's deserved it's a good thing to share your small victories with people who are close to you or your therapist while you're on your way to becoming the best you can be but don't go proclaiming that stuff to strangers particularly when you say you've improved socially but aren't displaying good social skills throughout the date so anyway after this the day ends and they give their final interviews well thanks for coming and meeting me here it was fun it's a good time it was yeah you're really funny so are you oh thank you I think the date went pretty well I thought they were pretty chill that they were honest they're fun to be around I liked their sense of humor that was the main thing that stood out to me this part here sounds like Eli has friend zone Clyde and is giving advice for what other people might like about Clyde for our future dates to put this more into context they are standing right next to each other while Eli is saying this even though Eli is the only one in frame but relationships require a lot of communication skills to be enjoyable and successful and you can almost instantly tell that Clyde lacks those communication skills as soon as you meet them no part of me believes that this will lead to a second date especially considering that conversationally Clyde came off as very self-absorbed and didn't ask Eli any questions outside of saying what do you think about my beard I was a little surprised but in general for me it's it's not really tend to focus too much on appearance well that was insulting when someone says I don't care about appearance they're indirectly saying that you aren't attractive that's not a compliment or an admission to virtuous Behavior because if you were attractive then they wouldn't have to Virtue signal about not caring about appearance so keep that in mind for this next part we could I think I would go on another date yeah I think so too yeah I think I'd like to do this again I think that would be fun usually on a blind dating show you're supposed to isolate the participants from each other so they'll give an honest answer however on this show Eli is answering right in front of Clyde so of course honesty isn't going to be a primary concern and pretty much no one in the comments section believes that they went on a second date there's a pretty big difference between genuine interest and what Eli did and again that is largely not because Clyde has a beard plenty of people do weird crap yet still find relationships I'm just waiting for my day to arrive I'm not sure what to expect I'll be honest yes yes yes I was hoping you'd be a room oh my gosh my name is Taylor yes I was shocked too when I watched the video I did not expect that a furry would get that positive of a response when I clicked on it especially considering that this is not the first time that this furry has been on my channel nice to meet you you too oh it didn't turn red yet no I'm so sorry no she got what she deserved I am what do you call it furry I only have one he also got what he deserved yep look at the tattoos on his arms it's the same guy I guess there actually is someone for everyone and to have such a out there part of you be a big part of your lifestyle I think is very cool God it went so well I was not expecting that yeah how about you what were your expectations I didn't have any and they exceeded them anyways would you want to go on a second date sure yeah the whole time that you have to be in the suit just kidding I mean I will maybe I'll get a suit too see the smile here genuine smile do you see Taylor here he's using his mascot skills and gesturing all over the place instead of acting like a frozen stick in the mud the difference between Taylor and Clyde with a K is one Taylor understands and gives Grace to people who aren't into furries do you have like multiple or is it I only have one first yeah careful careful until you're rejected sorry I'm sorry whereas earlier Clyde kind of suggested that people who don't like bearded women or bigots Taylor isn't blaming people for not liking him he understands that being a furry is weird and he doesn't expect everyone to be into it like Clyde does with a beard second Taylor worked on his poor social skills do you feel like I'm a good communicator I think so oh I haven't been confused oh that's good yeah I haven't felt like pressured to be the one carrying the conversation or anything yeah I worked a lot on that uh I used to not even be able to hold a conversation but now I've worked on that very very hard and putting myself in very uncomfortable situations to get to this point and that's how you're going to grow putting yourself in an uncomfortable situations yeah so it's all a learning curve I will give the same criticism that I gave Clyde here which is that nobody cares about how far you've come really unless they can physically see how you used to be like you have video evidence of it people do not care and making statements like this to people you just met comes off as insecure however his date Sophie agrees that Taylor has shown good social skills and therefore this mistake is not that big of a deal nobody has to be perfect on a first date but like I said the difference is that Taylor got out there and made himself uncomfortable whereas as far as the date goes Clyde isn't really doing that Clyde is more with the obese and not really getting out of their comfort zone to eat healthy despite admitting to having health issues related to obesity I also Clyde has really shot off an expression list like someone who is afraid to risk showing any emotion and Clyde seems to be afraid to lead the conversation by asking questions about Eli it's easy to imagine that this is someone who doesn't spend a lot of time out of their comfort zone however there is more to this story this video was released on February 19th of 2022 almost a year and a half ago well I checked Clyde's Instagram and look what I found a post from a few days ago saying that Clyde has lost almost 60 pounds since last December and now regularly exercises that's quite a difference from the cloud that we saw on the date and I always appreciate when people are moving in a positive direction particularly one that took nine months of effort notice how I care because I can actually see and quantify the difference this is a storytelling principle called show don't tell and if you're going to be an effective Communicator you need to get good at that still being a biological female client has about a hundred pounds more to lose but this is a great start now I won't get too specific into this but obviously Clyde is dealing with depression you can hear it in their voice one thing I commonly see with people who say they are depressed is that they don't really have a strong way of managing their negative emotions they will go through a depressive episode and just sit there for hours or days with no shift in their focus what I think people should do in this case is one get treatment but also physically write out a list of activities that they can do to make them happy to shift their focus away from depression when they are experiencing long bouts of it you don't want to leave this up to memory you want an actual written out list because when you're stressed you'll forget what makes you happy I would say try to make it five to ten items so for me if I'm not feeling that great I'm probably going to take my mind off of it by playing a heavily modded game of Risk of Rain too I might go spend time with people who are close to me I might go for a walk outside I might listen to music I might binge watch a really good show or I might throw on a podcast and clean my house I'm very disgust sensitive so being in a clean and organized environment gives me peace of mind I tend to think that cleaning and self-improving are a great way to manage depressive episodes but whatever ends up on that list it needs to be customized to your taste and obviously do not manage your depression with substance abuse that's how people become addicts if you're doing that then please go get treatment 12 step is free as you get better at using your happy list to manage your depressive States you can also use it to reward yourself for doing good things as a way of pushing yourself towards improving your life so when you do a good thing like clean your car or maybe you practice an important skill you can reward yourself with something on the list like an episode of a show that you're binge watching as a way of hacking your brain into being better psychological tricks like this are how successful people motivate themselves to improve anyway thanks for watching follow me on Twitter or X and I'll see you in the next video

Channel: Think Before You Sleep

Views: 732,506

Keywords: Truly, Dating Different, CinnamonToastKen, PewDiePie, Diamond Dallas Page, CUT

Id: 9NVedtDMrKQ

Length: 20min 35sec (1235 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 11 2023