Why I HATE Linguistics

I love learning languages but I hate Linguistics with a burning passion I'm Earl and I'm a hyper polylock gigachad alpha male who speaks over 50 languages fluently this video is going to be extremely controversial so please don't hold back in the comments feel free to roast my opinions but don't forget to make fun of my physical appearance as well I want to preface this by saying that I do not hate linguists don't hate the player hate the game if you study this stuff in college and then do a bunch of research that's commendable someone's got to do it I guess and some cool stuff has come out of that but what I hate is when a new pure language learner gets brainwashed and falls down the Linguistics Rabbit Hole causing them to learn a lot about a language instead of actually learning to speak the language according to Bing Linguistics is the scientific study of language and its structure including the study of morphology syntax phonetics and Antics and right there we have a problem I don't know what morphology and semantics mean but above all I don't like the word scientific language is Art not science and there's nothing scientific about ordering orange chicken in Flawless Chinese this is what real Chads want to do and this magic comes purely from swag and hormones scientifically studying languages is nerdy I learn to speak languages not learn about them scientifically linguists have Fun by taping their eyes open and reading about conjugations contractions and probably even communism but I prefer to force innocent pedestrians to act like circus monkeys on camera when I deliver a rehearsed line to them in their native tongue I don't want you to go down the Linguistics pipeline first you'll be a linguist then an esperantist and ultimately a communist but trust me I know that languages and Linguistics go hand inand you can't really study a language without coming across some sort of linguistic propaganda but there are definitely some linguistic Concepts that new and Veteran language Learners alike in my opinion should avoid like the plague and there's no better example of this than something that the language Elites call phonetics it is my Antichrist phonetics is a branch of linguistics that studies how humans produce and perceive sounds seems cool and innocent right phonetics researchers are responsible for creating the second worst thing that humans have ever made after the atom bomb the International Phonetic Alphabet also known as IPA IPA is a series of symbols that represent each distinct sound that exists in every human language spoken on Earth so theoretically if you learn how to pronounce every letter in this alphabet you'll have a perfect accent in every language on the planet every symbol has a really practical and easy to remember name like dorsal palatal frickative and coronal postalveolar lateral tap flap but my favorite symbols are the epiglottal plosive and the retracted tongue root because they look batshit insane someone needs to make some symbols for ancient Albanian sign language but I hate how language Learners especially naive beginners latch onto it and think they need to learn IPA in order to have a good accent in the language they're learning it's nothing but a huge distraction let's imagine you're studying Russian first things first you've got to learn the alphabet I recommend you learn the 33 letters and figure out roughly how they're pronounced and then dive into the language and work out the accent naturally over time but IPA linguists will say net first you've got to glue your eyes open and learn 107 additional letters plus 52 diacritics and four prootic marks then you can take the IPA and look at which symbols and sounds correspond to which Russian letters and Abra Kadabra alaz you will sound like a native Russian in 20 minutes first of all who cares if you have a foreign accent in a foreign language can you imagine having an accent is really cool and especially at the beginning you should not be putting this much effort into how you sound when you don't even know that many words second of all it's cringe and pretentious if I'm practicing a language with you and I butcher the pronunciation of a letter you better not bring up IPA to correct me L color s Roo uh you pronounced your R wrong it's supposed to be a reverse upside down turnaround alveolar Trill you must vibrate your tongue against the back of your top teeth what the does that mean show me your tongue wait no I see a lot of people focus on this dumb phonetic system and therefore waste a ton of time that they could have spent actually learning the language itself let's compare How I Learned Russian with how an IPA nerd learns Russian okay it's zast V that's really hard but okay I know how to greet someone now oh labio Dental nonsilent frickative oh yeah far a far AA Min Earl yeah Isa let's go I know how to introduce myself it's clicking pH after one month I'll be saying useful and meaningful things in the language while IPA linguistic nerds are still stuck doing tongue exercises in the mirror like a grff oh my goodness and if you speak to me and you tell me to reference a vowel chart I will rip my eyebrows off what the heck is this and how do I get any benefit from it this chart is supposed to show you where where your tongue should be in your mouth how tense your tongue should be and a bunch of other weird if you want to speak French like a Frenchie I promise that if you're constantly thinking about your tongue while you're speaking you're going to come off as a little strange I'm trying to figure out where my tongue goes oh right there we phonetics is so stupid but my hatred doesn't stop at phonetics no my disdain for Linguistics goes way further than than that I also hate grammar and not Grammar itself I mean it's necessary but I hate talking about it I know how to use all of the verb tenses in French in fact I'm the Michael Jordan or Michael Jackson of French verb conjugation but I have no idea what any of the tenses are called because I'm not a nerd and I won't learn them I when people try to tell me to learn it's stup stupid I don't like you know what I mean I hate it you don't need to know this stuff in order to speak a language native speakers usually don't even know the names of their own verb tenses and I strive to be like them then grammatical cases I use them pretty well in Russian and I'm getting there in German but when I'm practicing one of my languages with someone else and they start to correct me with any level of linguistic grammatical depth I I hate it yeah sure I can except it's Mia not in this context oh great Mir yeah I'll say Mir from now on thanks that's all I needed to know yeah but actually that's the dative case which is a linguistic grammatical case that developed naturally in order to show the indirect object actually wait you need way more background on this so first the Big Bang happened then the earth was formed then there was continental drift then stop I get it I get it some people enjoy learning about grammar but not me I learn languages for fun and to troll people languages are something you absorb over time it's not good to get caught up in the details and it's definitely not good to shove your head in a book and try to memorize quirky linguistic facts just so you can seem smarter than your peers I am triggered with a capital T when someone tries to discuss Linguistics with me but most of all I'm just heartbroken I just can't reiterate enough how I've seen so many young passionate language Learners with promising Futures go down this Pipeline and then not learn anything except Esperanto be a Chad go speak Mexican at a Taco Bell make mistakes and speak like a gringo just don't mention Linguistics use luod dingo or go learn a language in prison I don't care just please don't look into Linguistics I think it's useless and I believe it slows you down and may even kill your motivation you might even end up a little pretentious and I don't want that for you you've got a promising future in this I promise so in conclusion linguists are communists but not all Communists are linguists think about that as you get ready for bed tonight if you want to learn how to learn a language check out my patreon link in the description I have dozens of videos there explaining exactly how I learn a language

Channel: Language Simp

Views: 92,537

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Id: vQL3CJB72lM

Length: 9min 18sec (558 seconds)

Published: Wed May 01 2024