Top 10 Most Useless Languages to Learn

hey what's going on youtube my legal birth name is language simp and in this video i'm going to be counting down the top 10 most useless languages to learn in the world for those of you who don't know i am a hyper polyglot giga chad who is very attractive to every woman and man on the planet if you're a language learner be sure to subscribe and leave a comment letting me know what you think of my list before i start to count down the most useless languages to learn i think it's important to state that this video is entirely my own opinion however it's also important to keep in mind that i am rarely wrong when it comes to anything language related now obviously i could just make this list really basic by including incredibly rare languages spoken by a handful of people on small islands or by listing dead languages that nobody speaks anymore but no this list is going to include mainstream languages that you have most likely all heard of no language is safe here and neither are you without further ado let's get right down to business at the number 10 spot we have none other than spanish before you get mad at me now this is pretty low on the list because it is true that there are tons of people who speak in many different countries however if you learn portuguese instead you'll automatically understand spanish and be able to understand people from brazil portugal mozambique and angola this is because portuguese is basically just spanish with much less straightforward pronunciation spanish sounds a lot clearer so it's easy for portuguese speakers to understand spanish but not the other way around therefore your time would be better spent skipping spanish and heading straight for port port is like a spicier sexier spanish here i'll give you an example at the number nine spot we have the german language guys the war has been over since 1945. we were this close to being forced to learn german but we won we can speak american again but seriously pretty much every german speaks american now so there's no good reason to sink your time into a language that you won't even need to use also german is a bit too easy for me it's like studying a language with training wheels whoever came up with the language literally went and capitalized all of the nouns in a sentence because they assumed that we couldn't find them ourselves the grammar was easy enough as it was i feel like i'm being potty trained by a jack dude named hans every time i open a german book and that is unacceptable at the number 8 spot we have mandarin chinese now i know what you're all thinking mr language simp are you crazy chinese is the most spoken language in the world we have to learn it this is a beta mindset and i'll tell you why the fact that chinese is the most spoken language is precisely the reason why it's useless to learn approximately 1 billion people speak mandarin chinese in the world because of this it won't help you in life it won't help you find a job because no matter how good you get there will always be 1 billion better speakers out there to replace you there are just too many people who speak it so it's hard to stand out it's also admittedly quite easy to learn so maybe it could be a good starter language for a beginner the only real reason to learn chinese is to make a lot of money by memorizing a few phrases and then recording yourself impressing people in chinatown at the number 7 spot we have swedish and norwegian i've lumped them together because they're basically the same language with a different accent they're both pretty interesting and they sound cool in their own unique ways but they are useless when compared to danish how could anyone choose swedish or norwegian over the most beautiful sounding language on the planet danish is how i imagine heaven to sound like it sounds like angels playing harps on clouds of gumdrops and lollipops i couldn't do it justice but yeah swedish and norwegian sound like nails on a chalkboard compared to that if you learn danish you'll most likely understand all three of them anyway at the number six spot we have french many people claim that french is the most beautiful language in the world and i agree that it's quite nice to listen to however learning it would be an absolute waste of time most people in france either speak arabic or american already and i speak american so i have no problems there also we americans have already stole all the important words from french like deja vu and croissant so we practically already know how to speak it to begin with admittedly there are a ton of cool places in africa where it's spoken but they usually have a more useful local language there that you could learn instead of french like wolof at the number 5 spot we have esperanto but i'd also like to include every constructed language with this one esperanto is a made-up language invented by a polish eye doctor in the late 19th century he wanted to make a global language that could be easily learned by everyone in the world so that we could all communicate with one another well flash forward a few years and the american language has already taken that place now everyone just learns american in order to communicate across borders so there's really no need for esperanto also it's really only easy to learn for people who already know european languages so it kind of becomes a lot less useful for people from countries in asia for example if you chose esperanto to be the first language you study i would like to fight you at the number 4 spot we have dutch now dutch is a very beautiful language with its many g's that are pronounced like but unfortunately there probably won't be many dutch speakers to talk to in the near future the netherlands will probably be underwater in the next few years due to global warming since their country has an extremely low elevation one third of their country is already below sea level so it's not going to take much for them to sink if there are no dutch people learning how to speak dutch will be completely useless however dutch people are very intelligent so i wouldn't be surprised if they learned how to grow gills or something in order to continue life in the ocean i just don't think humans can speak underwater at the number three spot we have russian i predict that russia will not exist in a few months when ukraine wins the war for their territory and then pushes into russia to get their revenge by overthrowing putin and installing a new government ukrainian will most likely be the default language of this new country and russian will no longer be widely used don't get me wrong i absolutely love russian and that's why i've studied it it's beautiful and i think russian people are amazing but i just think that it might not last pick up a ukrainian textbook instead at the number two spot we have english english sounds kind of cool but there's no reason to learn it since you could learn american instead english and american are mutually intelligible so if you learn one you'll understand the other anyway american is just so much more sophisticated and there are many more speakers of it i don't know much about history but i'm pretty sure that england stole our language changed the pronunciation of it a little and slapped a new name on it guys i understand that american and english are basically the same language but i think that we deserve the rights to the name because we made it truly popular the number one most useless language to learn in the world is japanese the only and i mean only reason that anyone ever learns japanese is to watch anime in its original language but news flash guys that is exactly why anime dubs exist yep you heard it here first folks you do not need to learn japanese to watch pokemon you can find a dubbed version where they speak american or your native language instead some people like to use subtitles but that's kind of weird who wants to read while they're watching a show i hope you found this video to be helpful in deciding what language you should learn don't forget to drop a like and subscribe leave me a comment letting me know what languages you think are useless auvoir

Channel: Language Simp

Views: 1,670,170

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Id: TrzGUFZzTaw

Length: 7min 56sec (476 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 03 2022