Oh no! The Rise of Skywalker was real bad :(

so I saw the rise of Skywalker and I didn't like it very much it's difficult to even know where to begin I'd like to do some kind of script doctor but there were just so many questionable decisions and like ultimately I just kind of want to talk about all the dumb stuff that happened there's so much to unpack but I did have a fun idea of how I could organize it into a wonderful internet friendly numbered list so this will be a list of all the dumb stuff that happened in the rise of Skywalker this list is vaguely chronological but it also handily builds from the lesser offenses to the very worst ones and that said it is a big big spoiler for just everything that happens which I guess is kind of like saying that everything that happens is dumb that's not what I meant but that's what it sounds like okay anyway ready let's go let's go on this journey together you P number one the opening crawl I realized this is the very first thing we see and that even if I tried I couldn't possibly find an earlier thing to complain about unless like the Lucasfilm logo found a way to be bad which maybe it's just a matter of time I actually kind of love this opening crawl it's very hammy in a way that it should be it starts strong with the words the dead speak with an exclamation point which is wonderful they're supposed to make you feel like you're jumping into an episode of an adventure cereal so the tone is like right where it needs to be however if you look at the other opening crawls from other Star Wars films they usually ask a bit less of you they usually set up what star war is going on who the different sides are if one side is pulling ahead usually they'll say the general locations of our heroes and what the nature of the current mission or adventure is that we're about to jump into the middle of in the first scene between films in the trilogy's there is usually a passage of time characters have moved around but if there's anything crazy or status quo breaking they're presumably going to want to save it for not the opening crawl episode nines opening crawl is like Palpatine is alive he's been posting snapchats for months or he's like a really old guy so Facebook lives or a major dead characters back to life he came back off-screen that's the thing that happens now it just doesn't explain how or why opening crawls are supposed to catch you up to speed not make you go wait run that by me again so number two Palpatine is alive it doesn't make any sense that Palpatine is alive I mean I guess I can't pretend I would rather have an explanation because I assume any explanation they did right like any of the other explanations in this movie would be inadequate and stupid and then I would just be less happy so fine there's this wonderful scene where the resistance is standing around and then one of them says somehow Palpatine has returned and that just kind of sums it up they should just have that as the opening crawl then they elaborate with a few guesses the line is dark science cloning secrets only the Sith knew I feel like we're just reading the script notes like that was written in the margin they were gonna pick one then they didn't bother although the worst of all of those is the cloning one considering Palpatine looks more ravaged by time and hardship than ever before you think if cloning had been involved at any point he'd be looking smooth and sexy so anyway he's alive but he's really weak and he gets hoisted around by this giant hydraulic arm that's mounted on the ceiling like a big baby bouncer but scary he's in a big spooky fortress with all these cables coming off of him and stuff I have so many issues with Palpatine but they'll be covered in later points so we're gonna move on number three Palpatine made Snoke so in kylos confrontation with Palpatine at the very beginning of the movie he's like I'm not scared of you I've already killed Snoke and then Palpatine is like I made snow I definitely took this to mean that he had gotten Snoke to where he is like maybe set him up in his position of authority or he was his master and trained him or something but then the camera pans past this test tube thing where he is currently in the process of growing to Vorst snoke's and you're like oh he he literally made snow so okay why did Palpatine make no he said he has been every voice inside kylo ren's head for his whole life and while he's doing it he's mimicking the voices of Snoke and Vader so like was he puppeteering Snoke and that was his voice certainly the voices that were in kylos had turning him to the dark side were his voice but then was when Snoke the man was talking was that also his voice how in control was he of the dialogue if his ultimate goal was to turn Ben's solo to the dark side and he was already doing the Vader voice in his head and then he succeeded why did he need Snoke why did you need a puppet thing that looks like Snoke and his name snow you mean to tell me that when Palpatine needed to create a creature who could take over control of a government without anyone becoming suspicious and then win over the trust and affection of a little boy the best thing you could come up with was this hello little boy my name is Papa Snow when does he release the snoke's into the world did they start out that shriveled or dizzy wait for them to get as shriveled as possible like a pickle do they live out their lives outside of the tube or does he always deploy them fully formed and why did he make more what are they going to do for him at this point number four Palpatine uses his powers to raise up like 500 Star Destroyers and all of their crews and stuff out of the ocean where he has been hiding them I'm not even gonna question the fleet because like I don't care enough I don't want to unpack that we all know it's stupid that's not what I'm here to do but my issue is that he has the power to lift all these star destroyers out of the ocean you know like lifting these massive objects it's very powerful but if you pick him up over your head to throw him off a railing he goes ah put me down stop that and then he died is number five at a point in the story at which kylo Ren has already found out that the voice of the air was Palpatine the whole time and he's not even loyal to Palpatine and he's figuring out a way to defy his orders he then goes to room and touches the Darth Vader helmet in order to commune with it as though he still thinks it's Darth Vader I guess this whole sequence with the Vader mask was probably already shot before they rewrote the script to have Palpatine be in it and then they just like forgot that the two of them conflicted with each other and it didn't make sense anymore that's why Yuri watched the movie you've made from start to finish before you put it out in theatres number six Jannah there wasn't really anything wrong with Jannah I liked the way she was portrayed by her actress and I liked her warthog horse but I assume Jannah was just put in here to assure us that Finn isn't gay for Poe because Rose Tico was fired from that job and then written out of the movie so the writers I assume asked themselves what should a love interest for Finn be like oh I know she'll just she'll just kind of beef in Jana is a former stormtrooper like Finn she left when she was ordered to fire on civilians the same as Finn I don't know the laziness of it just staggered me it reminded me of Alvin and the Chipmunks and the Chipettes you know how the boys just ate female versions of themselves 7 any time a character arrives on a planet in this movie they have a shot of the character walking away from their landed spaceship I guess because they were worried that if they didn't have that shot we'd be like how did they get on this planet through what means of transportation this one kind of speaks for itself it's just a little thing that I thought was weird and they're never climbing out of the spaceship either I assume because the spaceship is entirely CGI or it's like a static prop that doesn't open so yeah add that to your drinking game if you want to especially on ex ago I think it happens like three times in a row there number 8 Chewbacca exploding so walk me through how this happened Finn from like 30 feet away watches with his own eyeballs as Chewbacca is loaded onto a transport in the middle of this huge open barren desert this next bit is shot like a comedy so Rey is in the middle of something and then she hears Finn yelling Raye and then she turns around and Finn like runs out from behind a rock and he's waving his arms frantically and he's like Rey they got Chewie they got him and then exactly like it's a comedy beat a perfectly timed transport rises up from behind the rock and then Finn exaggeratedly points to it and he's like that transport Chuy's on there that one then ray tries to grab it with the force to stop it from leaving and I was like oh no what if she makes it crash by mistake because you know pulling on a ship that's in flight could be dangerous I would assume instead Force Lightning erupts out of her hands and the ship explodes before their eyes into hundreds of fiery pieces to make things even funnier after it happens Finn is like no but it's not like the right kind of no she kind of just seems annoyed and then he like throws his arms down and like an oh man kind of gesture it looks like the kind of know that you do if you're like a high school football coach and your team has lost the ball not when your friend is exploding there were a lot of moments like that in the film where like the character seemed like they reacted wrong like maybe the actor didn't know what they were reacting to in that moment or maybe like they were reacting to a different thing and then the editor pulled a reaction from the wrong time or that this is just the footage they had and that thing had not originally happened and they're like well we got a shot where he says no so I'll just use that anyway like a lot of things in this movie that didn't really ultimately work for me I felt like the idea of Rey exploding Chewbacca by mistake through like Darkseid magic was a very cool concept you know ray will blame herself she will grapple with the responsibility of her force powers and whether or not she can be trusted and maybe there will be tension with her friend but no again like a lot of things in this story it's not treated with the emotional weight you feel like it calls for Rey feels really really bad she's like really upset and then the scene changes and then they have more adventures to do and she just kind of like forgets about it and is back to her plucky cells they don't really unpack it from there and they're on the next planet in their mission and they start saying things like if we don't succeed chewy will have died for nothing and they say it like that like passively like he'll have died for nothing not Rea murdered him kylo Ren also didn't react in any way to Chewie exploding like he seemed more intrigued that Ray had that power and not like oh hey I've known that big furry monster since I was a baby like he's a family friend that I presumably know quite well I know he hasn't had a good relationship with Chewie in recent years but I don't know you think he'd feel some kind of way about it then none of this even matters because it turns out that finn mixed up the transports Chewie wasn't on that ship good news Rey you just exploded other sentient people but not Chewie so it's actually fine and also man Finn how how did you mess that up cuz you seemed pretty confident at the time I feel like if you're going to pull this kind of contrived switcheroo you need to have some kind of scene to set it up ahead of time like maybe when our heroes are on personna and there's that festival they could have a street vendor who's set up a table and he's doing the shell game and then Finn tries to play it like a bunch of times in a row and he just keeps losing and you're like wow Finn is really bad at object permanence even the reveal that Chewie is alive is very bizarre it's a scene on the first-order ship and two officers are saying like we had a lot of casualties presumably because Rey exploded them but we do have one valuable captive and then Chewie walks in looking glum and wearing handcuffs and a collar but because Chewie is alive and were meant to feel happy about that they have this like very triumphant John Williams score and it just feels very like jarring and out of place against this footage of a sad wookie in handcuffs Chewbacca himself didn't even do like a daring escape it was just like a dumb mix-up there's no active heroism happening just tonally it feels very weird number nine the map 2x akahl it's really fun to see heroes go on team-building adventures but in the last movie of a series when there is clearly so much ground they want to cover its unfathomably stupid to have your heroes to three different planets to get one map they go to the first planet to get a knife that has a description of where the map is then they go to a second planet to get a translation of the description of where the map is from the knife then they go to the third planet to retrieve the map itself before they can finally go to the fourth planet which is the one they wanted to go to I get that it's the journey not the destination but this is too much journey and honestly they should have cut at least one of the planets like I think even just one would be a huge difference and it would give the characters a lot more time to emotionally react to things so that the audience can feel those emotions too and just give it time to breathe and like have real interactions and establish real state personally I think they should have cut the Keri Russell planet I love Keri Russell but that was the most useless one and she's just a new character that we don't need to know all it really accomplished was giving us pose racist background as a drug dealer and then obviously that doesn't matter anyway because in the course of one conversation his friends are like what you don't drugs and he's like it was a long time ago and then they're all fine again the funniest part of the movie is when ray finally gets one of the wayfinders and she like messages the resistance and she's uploading copies of the maps so they can get there too and then independently do rolls into the room and also has a map so it's like they spent forever getting these maps and suddenly there are so many maps you didn't even know what to do with all these maps everybody's got a map the map knife was also insane there's an evil system aid so that if you stand in the exact correct location on the correct crest of the correct Beach at the right angle you can hold up the knife and then the carvings on the side of the knife line up with the wreckage of the outside of the Death Star if the wreckage gets worn down anymore by the raging ocean that it's sitting in I guess this knife is just going to be functionless now so anyway you hold up the knife and it lines up to the outside of the wreckage and then you pull out this little arm thing which has not been established first time we're seeing this little arm thing and then the little arm points to where you're going to find the map inside the Death Star wreckage I don't know how it accounts for depth or the fact that the Death Star is so he that you would think that just pointing to something on the outside is like pointing to a globe and being like it's in California anyway before our heroes have this knife it was in the possession of a chi an evil alien who was tasked with bringing ray to Palpatine so you mean to tell me that Palpatine asked a guy to deliver something to him as soon as possible but for the return journey he was just like here's a knife that will lead you to a map of where I am I'm just going to assume that he also puts all of his post mates drivers through this rigmarole as like a power-play number 10 Ray's parents sold her to protect her so kylo Ren tells Rey that he didn't lie to her in the last movie and that her parents are nobodies but only because they chose to be which sounds like a lie or at least a serious retcon but okay it turns out Rey's parents did love her they just had to send her away to protect her from Palpatine and then he says they sold you to protect you which is the worst line in the whole movie I just love this concept they wanted to protect her but yes money did change hands also in hindsight the fact that they haggled was a little gauche and they did spend the money on space tequila none of the rest of it makes any sense either in case you were worried since ray did successfully stay hidden for so long we have to assume that tracking her through use of the force is not possible so okay gonna write that possibility off so if you want to hide a child that you love and keep her safe isn't selling her off to an extremely mercenary and selfish junk dealer like the worst place you could possibly put her because if anyone comes around asking questions he's gonna sell her down the river the first chance he gets apparently Jack whose remote enough that you can just disappear through normal means why didn't the whole family just go into hiding on Jack ooh why did Ray have to be by herself you think even if they wanted to lead Oh Chi or bounty hunters or whatever away they could have sent like one parent to look after ray and then the other one is like I'll sacrifice myself and lead them away but she won't be a sad orphan like working for a living in the desert and getting beaten and starved why not find like a kindly old lady somewhere and then leave ray on her doorstep in the dead of night so the lady doesn't see your face and you can't be connected to her why not just go to the resistance and they'll look after her because they don't like Palpatine Rey's parents were apparently immediately caught and interrogated about Rey's location but it didn't work they kept it a secret so if it was that easy couldn't they have taken her someplace nice and not miserable and then kept that a secret then let's unpack ouchy and that whole sequence of events because i don't get it when raised in the desert with her friends she sees a cheese ship and she's like I've seen this ship before that's already a funny sentiment to me in Star Wars like spaceships are mass-produced right I don't sit in traffic and like to see a blue Honda Civic and go I've seen this car before but anyway she sees the ship and it looks familiar and later it's revealed that the ship belongs to og the bad guy that her grandfather sent to get Rey and the guy that killed her parents so oh she went to find Rey but he found her parents who by that point had already sold her to protect her Ray's mom successfully hides her location by saying and I quote she isn't on jakku and i guess that didn't seem suspicious and he never followed up because for the next like 14 years rays stayed hidden on jakku and it worked so then oh she just stabs both of Rey's parents to death with the knife that's also his map you'd think he'd use a different knife because now his map it's all covered with blood what if he had accidentally dulled the blade and then it didn't line up anymore and he's like I don't know what to do with this knife but remember oh geez looked familiar to Rey who had not been taken aboard by og so why did it look familiar I tried to go back to her forest vision in episode 7 because there's that scene where her parents are leaving in a ship and she's yelling come back to the ship and I think it kind of looks like a cheese ship I think it was supposed to be so waited Oh Chi apprehend Rey's parents on jakku and when he did that was Rey just within sight like she had just been sold she was still in the middle of being dragged away and it would she somehow didn't notice and he didn't hear her and he didn't see her he didn't think to just like look around a 100 foot radius or maybe my first line of thinking was right and her parents just left on a ship and then oh she apprehended them and it was the same model of ship because they're mass-produced ray honey your parents just also left in a blue Honda Civic it's the same one number 11 the spy so there is a spy in the first order that has been sending information to the resistance for the whole movie and like a bit before it I guess there's this new character in the first order general pride and like they really want you to think he's the spy you've never seen this character before but they keep cutting to him and like his suspicious looking face specifically any time people are talking about catching that darn spy he makes sinister expressions right into the camera his face casts sinisterly - shadow like I rewatched it I was watching him thinking does this make sense if he's not the spy it doesn't he's just pretending to be the spy for the benefit of the invisible audience on the other side of the fourth wall I'm honestly surprised they didn't put general pride and like one of those souvenir I'm the rebel spy t-shirts from Disneyland but anyway I figured that since they were spelling it out so much he was definitely not going to be the spy first time I watched it they mentioned the spy and then they cut to pride and then they cut to Hawks and I was immediately like the spy Hux even though that didn't make any sense well surprise the Spy is hooked so this is really stupid but also it was one of the only moments of pure joy that I felt in this film because it was so stupid that I loved it so hugs helps our heroes demonstrating that he is the spy but then he also turns to the audience and it like zooms in on his face and he goes I'm the spy and it's great I don't know it's just so cheesy that it made me feel something which most of this film did not anyway then they ask him his motivation this because what and he reveals that he doesn't care if their side wins he just needs kylo Ren to lose remember at the end of the last movie I had observed that Huck's hates kylo Ren and I had theorized that maybe Huck's was going to have a coup in this movie so he could like overthrow kylo Ren who he hates but become more powerful within this system that he cares deeply about instead Huck's decided to express this hatred by betraying his own side of the war in order to make kylo Ren lose a course of action that has a 100% chance of leading to his own death either when he's discovered as the spy or when the resistance he's helping gains enough ground to explode one of the warships he lives on full so in the very next scene Hux returns to the bridge and then it's discovered as the spy and shot dead and then he's just dead it never matters again then JJ Abrams is like ladies and gentlemen tonight the role of general Hux will be played by general pride and then we just have this old guy who's the same as hawks and doing things that Hawks could have just been doing but now it's a new character and Hux was the spy and aren't we glad that happened it added so much and then Huck's is never mentioned again nice cul de sac guys I assume that was added to fill time because our plates weren't full enough yet number twelve Leia's death and prophecy and everything else involving Leia we learned that Luke was training Leia to be a Jedi and then on the very last night of her Jedi training Leia had a vision in this prophecy she sees the death of her son at the end of her Jedi path so she decides to not pursue being a Jedi I guess so then later in the movie to fulfill her destiny or something she picks up the Medal of Yavin and walks into a room and lies down to die as Rey and kylo Ren are fighting on the wreckage of the Death Star kylo Ren senses Leia's death happening in the force and he looks off distracted and then Rey fatally stabbed him through the gut with his own lightsaber it's unclear what Leia's goal was was she aware of what Ben was up to and her intent was to distract him because she somehow knew that if he got stabbed and then healed he would turn good again so that's what he needed I guess Leia died the way she lived meaning well but ultimately hurting her son and making things more difficult for him I tried to ask some of my friends what their takeaway was from the scene and some of them said that they thought Leia died because of what was happening like she was helping Rey from a distance to heal kylo Ren and then that's what killed her but I rewatched it and that's not what's happening Leia's han goes limp and then she definitely dies and rape process's her death before she heals kylo Ren so that's not it man if only the force could have clarified that her son would die at the end of her Jedi path but not as a direct consequence of it so she could just be a Jedi and like live her best life plus the phrasing is not only misleading it's kind of backwards because it says her son will die at the end of her Jedi path if we want to get like creative with it I guess kylo Ren dies when she dies because the moment at which he's healed is the moment his redemption is solidified but in all of the language they've used so far there's been a distinction between kylo Ren and your son with kylo Ren always being a different character so if anything if kylo Ren died and Ben solo didn't her son didn't die if anything the prophecy should have been your son will be born again and then Leia would just assume that her son joined like an evangelical mega church somewhere also unrelated that this is stupid after Leia dies there are two different scenes of characters reacting to it the first shows a character that I think is the medical officer looking at her dead body under a sheet and being like goodbye dear princess and then all of the peripheral characters at the resistance base like stand around behind her looking sad the only character we know in this scene is ROS and nobody there is having like an intimate emotional reaction to the news they don't have any dialogue they're all posed in this very stilted way like cheated out toward the audience like it's the end of act 1 in a high school production of our town you feel like somebody is very proud of this shot and then immediately afterward it cuts to daytime and Poe is arriving and then he finds out she's dead and he reacts to it and it's like they're back to back why is it happening this is just another one of those moments that's like who's editing this like pick one guys and pick the second one because it was a main character having an authentic emotional reaction but you can't have both to make things worse then they just have Leah's corpse lying around for the rest of the movie it eventually vanishes and becomes one with the force but not until much later at the exact moment that Ben's body vanishes and I don't really know what the point of that was I assume this was to try to fit the prophecy better like now he's dead and now her Jedi path is over so that's why that's the point at which her body disappears but if so that doesn't count the force is a liar and just because your dead body is around doesn't mean you're still in your Jedi path I don't think you're putting in a lot of Jedi heroics while you're lying dead on a cot under a sheet whatever reason they did this it means that her body is just there around for an uncomfortable I'm out of time especially considering the real-life death of Carrie Fisher I just thought it was a little ghoulish to have her body double lying around dead the whole time the most awkward point is when later Poe and Lando are having a conversation and pose like how did you do it like referring to the rebellion back in the old war and Lando's like we had each other and he says it without a trace of irony as I kid you not in the foreground of the shot Leia's dead body is lying right there also it's extremely stupid that Leia died cradling the Medal of Yavin in her hand I refuse to believe that just because it's a thing the audience recognizes from the old movies it has to also be her most important possession at the time of her death number 13 is Finn's Ark but when I wrote Ark I put it in quotes to indicate my disdain and the force awakens Finn goes from being a stormtrooper to being somebody who learns how to have friends and how to be a loyal friend to the people that he cares about in the last Jedi he learns not just to care about himself and his own friends but a whole cause and like the concept of justice in the rise of Skywalker he shouts Rey alive he always wants to be near Rey and then when Rey is nearby he wants to shout Rey and have her look over at him at one point in the movie Rey is in the middle of having a sword fight on a windswept precarious slippery metal wreckage and even then Finn wants to yell Rey a good thing kylo Ren wasn't actually trying to kill her in that scene her head would have just been chopped right off her shoulders it was played so weird this is another one of those reactions where I'm like did they know what they were reacting to I can understand Finn seen that Rey is in mortal peril and then kind of involuntarily yelling Rey as like an Ono kind of thing but if you watch the way John boyega plays it helix throws his whole body forward and cups his hands around his mouth and goes Rey like he's trying to get her attention by that point he'd done this so many times that I wanted Rey mid sword fight to just yell back like what Finn what like what's his follow up gonna be if he gets their attention is he gonna yell look out Rey you're in a sword fight Finn's neediness and this one isn't and sometimes it comes across as a little selfish but mostly it's just depressing in the past it's been suggested that he's in Turei and then left sort of unclear where she stands on all this maybe she's just oblivious that he likes her romantically or maybe she only likes him platonically or maybe she'll come around to it whatever the case she at least cares deeply about his well-being and loves him as a friend if nothing else in this film she seems straight-up annoyed by him and it's real sad she seems annoyed that he wants to go along with her to anything she ditches him without telling him at one point she forced throws him really roughly I get the Rays busy and like he is really clingy in this one so I get why she's acting that way but it doesn't make it any less depressing and then just move on she's not that into you it's gonna be okay they even keep putting him in scenes with other totally viable love interests and then shutting down each of those in turn I normally wouldn't carry that basically every character ended this film single but like in Finn's case they specifically characterized him as wanting a relationship which makes it kind of sad that sets it up as this thing that needs to be resolved and it just never is if they knew they weren't going to give this concept closure they just shouldn't have dragged it back in to begin with there's even this scene where they're drowning in quicksand and Finn thinks he's going to die and he yells I never got to tell you and then he gets cut off and then later raised like what were you going to say and he acts all embarrassed and secretive and doesn't want to tell anybody it's pretty obvious that he was going to make a romantic confession because like based on how he acted that's the only thing that makes sense and I guess in a fan panel JJ Abrams has since said that no he was just going to tell ray that he's force-sensitive and like that makes no sense as a dying confession or as the thing that you would be hesitant to bring up later when they ask you about it so what I'm saying is that JJ Abrams was lying that thing he said wasn't true he'd probably read some negative reviews at that point and like realized belatedly that he had done Finn dirty and he's like I'll just I'll just pretend it was something else oh that reminds me number fourteen finis force-sensitive I like the idea of finding he's force sensitive just fine especially with this notion of Rey being the last Jedi and this being the last movie seems kind of nice to suggest like oh yeah there are other Jedi the forces manifesting and other people all over the place the Jedi aren't over a spark of hope it's just handled so badly I mean it's the same as everything else it's like if you're going to bring this in develop it a little explore the concept do something or half the force awaken in him in some triumphant moment in which he's able to actually positively influence the plot and like help his friends instead he starts demonstrating his force ability in like the last 40 minutes and he only has it in the sense that he can like detect from a distance what's happening like if characters die or are in danger or if good things happen he definitely didn't have that ability on Pisano and he had no idea what ship Chewie was on he never even does anything cooled the force he just reacts to things that he's sensing I honestly think the only reason they gave him the force is so that when he's not around Rey he can still worry about Ray and say Ray because they don't know what else to do with him number 15 the Knights of Ren are dumb and then they die you don't have a lot to say about that they really might as well have not existed this whole time intermission time we're in the homestretch now we're a little over halfway and we're coming up on the truly dumb stuff so I'd like to take a brief intermission to talk about some things that I actually like I liked when Ray gets the necklace at the festival and then she forced connects to kylo Ren and he like plays it cool the whole conversation and then right when they're about to disconnect he grabs the necklace knowing that he can use it to find her location that was a good oh snap moment and it was clever of him I also liked the other time their force connected when she's in his room and he's on the planet trying to find her and then when they start cutting up his stuff he realizes where she is that was good tension I liked the c-3po comedy and I like c-3po people find him annoying I don't I like him I love Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine he brings me so much joy he always gives it a hundred and fifty percent he's so over-the-top and hammy and like you just can't not enjoy watching him I do think it's stupid that Palpatine is in this movie and he shouldn't have been here but it's still nice to see him I liked getting to see redeemed kylo Ren running around in his pajamas and using a blaster like he's han Solo Chewie gets the medal of Yavin at the end which is very stupid but the next time you watch it please pay attention to when they cut away from him back to the wide shot because they've clearly instructed everyone around him to like pantomime that they're happy for him for getting the medal and like their body language as they're trying to convey this is very funny so yeah watch for that I like to be in the same sound effect when Palpatine drops kylo Ren on a stone slab and it sounded like every bone in his body was shattered it sounded like somebody dropped a watermelon off a roof I liked that 7-foot tall yellow slug I liked him so much I liked most of the beginning of the movie where the main trio is adventuring together I was keenly aware the whole time that it was taking up loads of time and I was thinking that's weird don't they have lots of ground to cover later on and they're squandering their time on this and it turned out that they had even more ground to cover than I initially had thought they did so you know that was a bad use of time but it's still fun to watch I like when characters bond with their friends okay let's get back to the dumb stuff number 16 things I put on my prediction bingo cards ironically but then they actually happened in the film I like to format my Star Wars predictions as bingo cards and this year I wanted to play with all my friends when we went to the premiere so I made for other bingo cards as alternatives I just kind of filled their cards with things that weren't my predictions and they were just kind of stupid to me but I thought like you know maybe and some of the squares were just downright insane and I called the cards that weren't my predictions the Kaos cards because like there's no way this would happen right anyway here are all the squares on those cards that actually came true Rey Palpatine Rose never gets to go outside I mean they're physically outside but she doesn't get to leave the base kylo dies the skywalker in the title is rey i'll hate the movie Leia dies but then she also returns as a force ghost a new main character discovers force ability they go back to Tatooine Palpatine explodes in a brilliant corona of light Ewok cameo and my favorite in cel-ray number 17 the entire climax of the movie so ray goes to kill Palpatine because he's the bad guy she's standing right in front of him she's gonna do it and then Palpatine says yes school cue me that just what I want once you kidding me I we'll take over your body and the cyst will rule so then you know obviously having heard that rain no longer wants to kill him because that's not an outcome that she wants I don't understand why he told her that this is kind of an unprecedented concept but I guess because he's repping all the Sith and killing him would be a act of hatred a Sith Act that means that if she kills him he wins and then he because she's his granddaughter he goes into her body then he opens his giant sunroof to show Rey that his Star Destroyers are currently killing all of her friends and then soon if her friends don't win he's gonna fly off with his Star Destroyers and just blow up like the majority of the planet he tells her that if she does his Sith ritual where he goes into her body then she'll have all that power of the Sith so with that power she could save her friends so maybe actually it's a great idea and she should do it but it's like no ray gets the power but Palpatine gets Ray's body so it's kind of like Rey getting the power in name only because she's not going to be able to actually protect anyone from anything bad happening because I think she'll just be a vessel at that point helplessly taking a backseat as the Sith used her body to kill all her friends and destroy all the planets like they would have done anyway if anything she'll just be putting them in worse danger by strengthening the enemy at this point my stupid brain thinking things were still going to make some kind of sense was like ah I have cracked it Palpatine is only thinking in terms of the Sith he is looking at killing as an act of hatred he believes Rey is here to kill him as an act of revenge for killing her parents and revenge can only be an act of hate because it's not productive it doesn't stop anything bad from happening it's purely because you're angry and wants someone to die Jedi have killed before when they have to so it's not always a Darkseid act they carry lethal weapons for a reason and now Palpatine has made his fatal error by bringing her friends into this he has played himself Rey will strike down Palpatine but not as an active verb as an act of love for her friends who are still alive and need to be protected by her aka a thing that Jedi do literally all the time it also kind of ties everything into a neat little bow because the last Jedi had that line about not fighting what you hate but saving what you love it would make sense that that was like a little buried nugget like a piece of Jedi wisdom and this would be a way for Rey to defeat the enemy without succumbing to the dark side and playing into his hands and just like in the original trilogy Palpatine's ultimate downfall would be his inability to account for acts of selfless love and then we would leave the theater like okay well I mean it was kind of dumb that Palpatine came back but at least everything circled back to like the message of the other films and you know they did find a way to wrap it up and the emotional climax even wrapped up Rey's whole issue with her family because she defeated her evil biological grandfather by carrying only for her new friends but wait no that's not what happened instead Palpatine is like cue me and use my power to save your friend and Rey like agrees to it for some reason like this sounds like her best option to her and then we cut to a shot of kylo Ren running in from a ship we have to see him running away from the ship or else who would be like how did he get on this planet anyway he's running in to help and Rey's getting ready to do the ritual hurry kylo Ren and then if she's getting ready to deal the killing blow she forced connects with kylo Ren and they make eye contact and you're like oh they're devising a plan together and my stupid brain is still running on the assumption that something that happens will make sense so I'm trying to figure out their plan and I'm like oh okay they established that force healing thing earlier so maybe that will come back Rey is lifting up her lightsaber like she's going to kill Palpatine and I'm like maybe instead she knows that kylo Ren is here so her thing is that she's actually going to stab herself she's going to be either dead or grievously injured and Palpatine's grand plan involves her being alive so by taking herself off the board she is thwarting his plan and maybe that kind of self-sacrifice being light sighted in nature is enough of an inverse to Palpatine's evil Sith ritual that it will just straight-up kill him and even if it doesn't it leaves the way clear for kylo Ren to run in and kill him and then redeemed Ben solo could use the Force to resurrect or heal Rey returning the favour' also healing is the light side maneuver or it used to be considered that so that would kind of cement his place as being redeemed and on the light side maybe he could even reuse the incantation that Rey used earlier in the movie where she was saying be with me be with me and then he connects to the power of the other Jedi which is pretty meaningful because like a lot of the dead Jedi we're his family so like you know it's a nice little reunion and acceptance of him and there's a nice ambiguity to the phrasing of it like he's asking Rey not to die anyway that definitely didn't happen either instead Rey uses the connection to Han been one of her lightsabers and then he uses it to fight off the Knights of Ren and then she uses her other lightsaber to fight off all of Palpatine's goons and they have a big lightsaber fight and then he runs into where she is and then they lift up their lightsabers to indicate that they're gonna try to kill Palpatine together and then the audience applauds and stuff because they're gonna cut him in half and it's gonna be satisfying then like a stupid anime a villain Palpatine uses force powers to lift them both up and he starts cackling like an evil vampire and he's like this is actually a new version of my plan I hope you guys love my Palpatine impression their life force stuff y'all bond strengthens me yeah and then he says that they're part of a force dyad a phrase that we've only heard one other time in the sequel trilogy and back then it was also just kylo Ren saying we're a force dyad without much further explanation and then he yells the power of tool restores the one true in power and he starts like laughing and shooting lightning into the sky and whatever it's just so stupid so is force healing not a light sight technique Darksiders can just take life energy from any other force users that will by grabbing them if Palpatine has the technology to grow multiple snoke's and Snoke is extremely powerful in the force and force energy is what Palpatine needs to suck up into his body to be alive and powerful why didn't he just keep and harvesting as many smokes as he needed to replenish his supply and then be back in business or can you only forcibly take life energy if it's from a force dyad a thing that hasn't happened in generations but it can't just be from one of them he can't just take it from Ray or kylo it has to be both of the people from the force dyad they're in front of you and you have to grab them and then you detect by grabbing them that it's a force dyad by grabbing them did it just happen automatically because he seemed to figure it out in that moment so is that just what happens when you grab two people from a force dyad as all their life starts pouring into you because that seems badly thought out why would that be the case sounds like a huge drawback to anyone in a force dyad and how is that on theme what does that have to do with being connected to one other person in the force that a third party villain can also now take both your life energy number 18 is the force dyad surprise so in the previous movies I believed that the connection between kylo Ren and Rey was sort of like a yin yang kind of thing like a balance to the force kind of thing they had that whole line darkness rises on the light to meet it the rise of Skywalker makes it be because they both come from the strongest families but why does that result in a dyad it's not like for every generation a Palpatine and a Skywalker are linked because that's it hasn't happened before our pattern goes more like in one generation Anakin joined Palpatine so the two families were working together but then ultimately he fought him so it was the opposite I'm pretty sure those two never had a force bond because like we saw them call each other on the hologram one generation below that a Skywalker fought a Palpatine but the same Palpatine at one point simultaneously to the Skywalker from the previous generation working with that Palpatine and then they both worked against him together the only prior Skywalker we know of is Shmi who appears to have never met any Palpatine in her whole life and the only other Palpatine we know about is raised mother or father whichever of them came from the palace inside and there's no indication that either of them interacted at any point with a Skywalker so like how are the families connected and and what do they mean the most powerful families Ben is only the third generation of force user and before that Shmi didn't have the force so it's not like a great dynasty that's been going on for hundreds of years and Rey is only the second generation and it's skipped a generation to our knowledge because like I assume if one of her parents had the force they couldn't have been so easily stabbed to death this isn't some case of destiny or history repeating itself they're not even really the space Hatfields and McCoys because it seems like it's just different every time like it would be if you examine the history of any two random families interacting with each other there's no character significance to it or spiritual significance to it or even a somatic thing it's just like a random weird thing that happens and is meaningless and then it never gets brought up again so it didn't matter 19 kylo ren's death for the record I don't hate the circumstances of kylo ren's death they set up the force healing thing earlier and established that it was like giving life to someone so that implies that if you brought someone back from the dead it would kill you it's like how they had the lesbian kiss at the end but then they had to have Poe make no homo eye contact with a lady character it's the law of equivalent exchange there's also a nice symmetry to it it works thematically they have those lines and the force awakens about how he wants to finish what his grandfather started at the time he meant it in kind of a diabolical way but then if you think about it you're like oh the reason Anakin fell to the dark side is he wanted to have the power to stop people he loved from dying he turned to the dark side to try to do that and it didn't work he was also really selfish and kind of just wanted to have his hot wife run forever and didn't want to make any sacrifices for anybody else so kylo Ren getting redeemed and stopping someone he loves from dying but doing it in a selfless way by sacrificing his own life that's a good idea of like finishing what Darth Vader started it all comes back so I thought it was an okay conclusion my issue with it was really just the same thing that I have an issue with in the whole rest of this movie which is that it suffered from a lack of pacing and character development his one scene he gets redeemed and then wordless fight and then wordless resurrection of Rey awkward eye contact wordless kiss and then wordlessly flopping over dead it just feels so awkward it got uncomfortable chuckles in every screening I went to besides Rey is not his Padme she's not even his girlfriend if they had allotted some time in this one to build some kind of relationship foundation I just feel like it would have been a much more fitting parallel I mean I love you as awkward on a first date so I'm just gonna go ahead and say that pouring your life force into somebody kissing them and then falling over dead and vanishing from this plane of existence is also awkward on a first date there was a lot of forward momentum to developing kylo Ren and Rey's relationship in Episode eight but in this one it just kind of pulled back on that if anything it felt like a backward movement every time they interacted it was just kind of exposition or I'm gonna getcha or wordless fighting it didn't feel like they had carried over a lot of the dynamic they had established in the last one and then from the point of his Redemption clear to the end of the movie kylo Ren has no dialogue at all which is such a weird choice I mean I guess the reason he had no dialogue is probably that the MPAA says you can only shout Rey twenty-seven times in your film before they bump you up to an r-rating and obviously finn had already blown through their quota I think this whole thing would have just been much better if kylo Ren had been redeemed earlier in the movie and I don't know why they didn't do that also it would have been funny to see raised friends trying to navigate this dynamic if they had the whole crew working together which they should have because that would be funny and that might have even justified writing in Poe's weird drug dealer backstory because then it would be like oh people change that's the moral or whatever it's like see everybody on the good guy side has baggage we've all done bad stuff before what matters is where we are now I mean ray hasn't done bad stuff before but actually the next point on my list talks about Rey doing something bad so see they should just take all of my suggestions at the same time we'll get to that in a minute instead we get this weird silent interaction and then kiss and then he dies and raised and even really that sad about it she just kind of looks like confused at what she has seen which you know is most of the audience watching the rise of Skywalker and I guess she can't be allowed to be that sad about it because that would be an acknowledgment that this is kind of a downer and to the movie maybe it's a good thing that they never adequately explained the force dyad thing because like if it is a yin-yang thing or a soulmate thing then like I guess Rey is kind of screwed now isn't she also in the old movies there was that prophecy about Darth Vader bringing balance to the force which I think was meant to ultimately be him defeating Palpatine that's when he fulfills that but then Palpatine it turns out didn't die so I guess that's just not canon anymore Darth Vader failed and the prophecy never came true so one would think that Ben being redeemed and then finding a way to live in harmony with his like yin-yang counterpart as part of a force dyad would also count as bringing balance to the force and thus would also count as finishing what Darth Vader started so they could have gone that route but they didn't number 20 is the Darkrai fake-out I really feel like there was some version of this script that was meant to grapple more with whether or not Rey was going to turn to the dark side you know that's an internal character conflict it's interesting you have all these weird leftover story beats where Rey will do a darkside esque thing it's pretty bad and then it's just never addressed again in any subsequent scene at the beginning of the movie she savagely beats her training droid to death with her stick and accidentally drops a tree on bb-8 she feels like super bad about it in the moment but then it cuts to another scene and poe sees that bb-8 is damaged and is angry and she's like leave me alone he's fine and then later we see that Ray is unnerved by the sight of that ship in the desert remember the blue Honda Civic and initially I thought it was going to go a very different direction I thought that being in the middle of a desert and watching someone she loved be carried away on a spaceship and reaching out to be like no don't go I thought that was going to jog a traumatic memory about her parents we also have all those parts where kylo Ren is like you don't know the whole truth about your parents so that also supported this theory so my conspiracy theory is that Rey's parents were flying away on their spaceship either for a good reason or because they were jerks and they sold her for drinking money and she reflexively reached out as a little baby and is like no come back and then because she had forced powers she didn't know about she accidentally caused a crash and is the reason her parents are that would be a good Darkrai conversation piece wouldn't it like it's not her fault it was an accident I mean it is her fault but it was an accident but it would make her worry that she was evil and that her destiny was to be a dark Sider and that's a disturbing thing for kylo Ren to be able to reveal to her especially since he's trying to turn her to the dark side and especially especially because he killed one of his own parents so for him it's you know like a bonding thing I mean he killed his a little less accidentally but he thinks he can never be redeemed because of it so that could have been an interesting similarity between them and then they could each deal with it in their own way but no they didn't do that there isn't even any kind of line drawn like symbolically between the imagery of Rey reaching out for the ship in the desert with someone flying away on it and not one hit to leave which seems like kind of a weird missed opportunity I don't know maybe JJ Abrams just hadn't watched the force awakens in a while and he forgot about that anyway Rey explodes Chewbacca and she's super upset and then they go on their mission to the next planet and then she's totally back to normal Finn tries to interrupt Rey when she's having a lightsaber fight with kylo Ren and she roughly forced throws him away she throws him like a good 10-feet that's never brought up again Rey has a long duel with kylo Ren in which he keeps pulling his punches he's not really trying to kill her and then in a moment when his guard is down and he's unarmed she stabs him in the gut to murder him so then the culmination of all this is that she tries to exile herself to the island like Luke did and she's like I'm a monster and then Luke's force ghost appears and he's like no you're fine and then that's that it's over that's it you think a character beat like that would be carried through to the final conflict especially since she's facing like the avatar of the darkside and a biological member of her family who wants her to take after him but instead they just resolve it ahead of time ultimately the climax of the movie isn't about internal struggle or resisting darkness it's just figuring out a way to kill Palpatine the Palpatine has all these ships he's gonna blow everybody up and you gotta stop him by killing him Palpatine isn't even really trying to turn her to the dark side as any kind of moral dilemma he's just trying to emotionally blackmail her into doing a Sith ritual that will let him possess her body there's no mentioned in that scene of ray actually falling to the dark side it's just kind of a will Palpatine overpower her physically it's not about a moral lesson or personal growth or a deeper theme it's just about whether or not ray can produce a powerful enough laser to defeat an evil cackling Frankenstein monster she met 10 minutes ago speaking of cackling evil Frankenstein number 21 ray Palpatine ray bina Palpatine is the most unforgivably stupid thing in this movie in fact I think I've even said in previous videos ray shouldn't be related to anyone but if she is she should be a polythene because that would be the stupidest thing for it to be and that would be so funny ha ha and then she could shoot force lightning out of her hands lol imagine that ha ha well in this movie we get that it's real I dug my own grave with my funny so let me just rewind for a second Raven and nobody is somatically important because her character foil kylo ren's baggage is his legacy she felt doomed obligated destined etc to carry on in his grandfather's evil footsteps as soon as he learned his identity and he had already spent his whole youth trying to live up to the greatness of his uncle and his mom so it's just a lot of pressure from all sides ray by contrast has no legacy and that's her emotional baggage her family is just a vague abstract concept in her mind but she'd like to have a family when we first meet her she's angsting over the prospect of dying alone and forgotten on jakku kylo Ren feels entitled to things like power politically and to be the strongest force user specifically because of his family line he expresses this the most literally when he feels entitled to Anakin's lightsaber and is like enraged at the idea of some nobody using it so ray beam and nobody affirms that worthiness doesn't come from bloodlines she is nobody and she is powerful in the force and that's important for stability is about spirituality self-awareness meditation it's not about growing the most powerful stable of force users who can like their race horses I felt like this was all pretty obviously spelled out by the end of episode 8 they had that scene of the kid with the broom and they suggest that he's force sensitive and it's like Oh force can come from anywhere to etc I don't think broom boy was intended to be qui-gon jinns grandnephew episode 9 narrows the scope with kylo Ren dead we really just have Rey oh and Finn Thanos force abilities but they're not as strong probably because his family is not important enough the rise of skywalker tells us that rey is a Palpatine and not only does that matter it's actually the reason for everything that's ever happened in her entire life if she was orphaned on jakku because she was a Palpatine she's a link to kylo Ren because some quality of her soul makes her a meaningful counterpart to him it's just because they both came from important family she's a Palpatine and he's a Skywalker whatever that means brie isn't powerful because the force chose her for her intrinsic goodness or some other machination of Destiny she is really powerful because she inherited the powerful force gene from her evil Frankenstein grandfather's side of the family a gene which I guess is recessive it's a really bleak message to me revealing that Rey comes from a powerful family and that that's the reason for everything doesn't make her more important within the story it just removes her agency it makes her accomplishments no longer her own so I think that's bad I don't like it when kylo Ren is revealing Rey's family to her she's like shaking her head and she's like I don't want this I'm like girl same finally number 22 Rey Skywalker in the final scene of the film Rey goes to Tatooine because it's a location that the audience recognizes to bury Luke and Leia's lightsabers side by side like they're married or something then convenient stranger happens by and asks for her first and last name and she says Rey Skywalker the scene is awful Tatooine has no positive significance for Rey or Leia or even really Luke Luke hated it and thought it was boring and wanted to leave and his only family there was also brutally murdered Leia was a slave there to a giant slug monster in the entire series no character has any affection for desert planets they're just terrible waste lands where people starve and slavery is legal ray isn't creating a memorial or a place for grieving or whatever because it's just an unmarked pit in the desert even if this was intended as a grave I kind of highly doubt that either character would have wanted their grave to be here I don't even know why the lightsabers had to be symbolically laid to rest it's not like Ray's ending the Jedi or the sabers are a terrible power which cannot fall into the wrong hands because rageous made a new one anyway they're still lightsabers kicking around when Jedi die isn't it tradition for their lightsabers to be passed down to new trainees until they can build their own you'd think Finn could have benefited from one of those cuz he's force sensitive maybe that hadn't been written in yet when they shot this scene and then JJ Abrams forgot about it why does rey decide to call herself skywalker cuz the only Skywalker she actually knew was Luke and their relationship was pretty contentious for most of it Leia was from the Skywalker bloodline but she never identified as such in fact I don't know if it's canon anymore but there are books that like address this and she was never there when Vader got redeemed and never felt like she had made peace with the idea that he was her father because he like blew up her whole planet and murdered her parents so I don't think she would like to even be identified as a Skywalker so why not Organa or solo Han and Ben were ultimately positive influences in her life and that's a name with a lot less baggage or why not Palpatine because like her grandfather was evil but according to this movie her parents were super cool and loved her and died to save her so wouldn't that be a lovely tribute to them screw them I guess I assume the Skywalker ending is going for that found family angle like the family that you choose but the family that she's choosing is 100% dead why not for the last shot just show Rey happy with her resistance friends and be like oh she's not alone anymore is there any indication that they're going to stay close now and like in each other's lives now that the war is over where did they go why aren't they hanging out with her how is it empowering that our final image of Rey is her standing sad and alone with no clear direction in a desert just as empty and desolate as the place she was stranded when we first met her is Rey going to lead a new generation of Jedi did she decide has she thought about it we don't know apparently it doesn't matter what matters is that the movie shows us that she has built a new lightsaber and it is yellow because the fans wanted to know what color lightsaber she has that's our final beat in the movie it's like Rey Skywalker new lightsaber just ticking off another box of meaningless information with no emotion behind it oh boy can't wait to walk out of this theater having felt nothing and update Wookieepedia this whole film is just a weird checklist of things that are meant to satisfy Star Wars fans but none of them are covered in a satisfying way they're just passionless Lee recited to us people wanted Ben solo to be redeemed so he just is redeemed there's just one scene where that happens it's not really built up - in this movie the last Jedi built up to it who's halfway there already but then they reset it in this one there's no sense of gradual progression so his Redemption just feels really Hollow then after he's redeemed he has literally no lines of dialogue people wanted to know a finis force-sensitive so halfway through he just tells us he is force-sensitive it's not a triumphant moment it doesn't add anything to the film's final battle it's just a thing that we're told fans were upset that Admiral Akbar died so they made a point of having a scene where poet dresses a Mon Calamari and calls him junior so we can surmise that this is Admiral Ackbar Junior and his legacy lives on so now it's better now and not all of these things are even bad concepts I feel like if before this movie you just showed me a list of things that happen in the movie I'd be like okay this sounds like a movie I would want to watch but if you showed me a list of things and said this is the movie I would say what no this isn't this is just a list of things I'm saying that's what JJ Abrams did it probably also be like please take rate Palpatine off this list it's very stupid I find it pretty funny that I just covered that terrible Allen Dean Foster pitch for episode 9 only to watch the real one and see it fall into like many of the same pitfalls it seems like JJ Abrams had an idea for what he wanted episode eight to be but then he didn't do episode eight and then he also didn't tell anybody what his idea was and then he came back and his ideas didn't make sense anymore and instead of being like a talented writer and just leaning into the challenge and working with what he already had to make a new good story he was like that's okay I'll just make episode eight and nine but I'll make them both episode 9 and it's like well no if you wanted episode 8 you should have made episode 8 but you didn't and now you have do a new thing I think the most obvious symptom of this issue is the way he dealt with Rose Tico by which I mean he didn't deal with Rose Tico he just wrote her out Finn and Poe had so little to do in this story that honestly if he had just had Rose also be there and given her like two more lines but had her physically present I feel like people wouldn't have even noticed that he wrote her out they would have just been like well she had about as big of a role as Poe and Finn so I guess it's fine but instead JJ Abrams is like I don't know her and he just writes her out and it's like dude then figure it out be a writer it feels like he didn't even try it's like he totally gave up and I don't mean to put it all on him because this story obviously saw several major overhauls and probably ultimately was like a million hours of footage that all had to be somehow edited down I'm sure a lot of those decisions were coming from committees and higher-ups other than JJ and he was probably working under very intense circumstances but I was just surprised to see it go quite so wrong anyway I really like the characters of the sequel trilogy and I'll probably still be able to enjoy watching episodes 7 & 8 which I thought worked but this whole time I just kind of gave the benefit of the doubt that this was all leading somewhere and this film makes it very obvious that it never was or maybe it once was and in the end it just didn't everything in this one just feels made up on the spot and then rendered even more incoherent by a bunch of rewrite maybe once there was a version of this that was good or maybe the original was even worse and we were doomed from the start I think the worst thing a franchise ending can do is make you feel kind of stupid and embarrassed for being so excited about it in the first place I thought going into it that I might not like where some of the characters ended up especially in an era of filmmaking where it seems more important to make sure that the audience doesn't predict what's going to happen over making a satisfying ending but I wasn't even really sad or mad about any of the story developments because it was so sloppy that it totally broke my suspension of disbelief I didn't even feel like I was watching a Star Wars movie I felt like I was watching a weird fan film it kind of just didn't make me feel anything at all so that's I was trying to think of something funnier to go out on but that's just kind of what I got I didn't like the rise of Skywalker very much you the best part of the movie for me was anytime that seven-foot tall yellow slug was on screen anytime it was in frame next to a human I was newly delighted at just how giant of a slug it really was infuriatingly I haven't seen any substantial merchandise of this slug like it's on stickers and posters there are no plush of this slug you know what several points in the movie when Poe is reflecting on what they have lost and he keeps saying if this doesn't work it will all have been for nothing well like that's kind of me with the rise of Skywalker and getting merch for the giant slug

Channel: Jenny Nicholson

Views: 3,110,028

Keywords:

Id: GErIPKjwuDg

Length: 64min 47sec (3887 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 29 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/yidorian]

Potential to be her best video. The editing in this film was so janky I’m glad she talked about it

[u/Hatless_Shrugged]

The crazy thing is that I'm hearing things from this video that I've never even heard other reviews of similar length mention, like the spy plotline or Leia's body just sorta lying around.

[u/Bob-s_Leviathan]

Her Palpatine impersonation is hilarious.

[u/slop_drobbler]

TRoS manages to make TLJ and TFA worse in retrospect. Well played JJ/Terrio. How does Terrio even get work?

[u/ShineeChicken]

I thought I had already obsessively analyzed every plot hole and tone-deaf decision in this movie, yet here Jenny is bringing up new plot holes and meaningful insight. She is a treasure.

[u/mulledfox]

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS VIDEO as soon as I realized this was a bad bad movie, while watching it, on opening night. It’s been a long wait to see if Jenny also wasn’t happy...

[u/[deleted]]

Don't let /r/StarWars know, I know fan subs are gonna be positive but my god they need to see the light

[u/ComfordadorNumeroUno]

This entire trilogy is garbage