Why Are So Many People Unhappy?

so today i want to do something complicated and that's to take the topic of sleep like how much sleep you need to get which is a very debated topic regularly and the word guilt guilt is something that others impose on you that prevents you from chasing your dreams because you feel guilty all the time and let's get these two guys to clash and see if i can make a point to you and hopefully i can take some pressure off your back fair is that okay with you so let's get right into so this last week i'm doing a a webinar it's a private webinar that i do monthly and it's for a group of 50 60 70 people from around the world and one of the guys on there who runs a chiropractic practice he does around 5 million a year he says patrick tell me about sleep and how you view sleep because this one professor who wrote this book which i'm very very aware of he says you need to sleep at least a minimum of seven or nine hours a night and that's what you need to do but what do you think about it because you have a different view on sleep i said okay cool i said i've seen this guy he's written a book done great this book is backed up on a lot of research he's a professor at uc berkeley the guy's brilliant he's an expert in this area however let me try to make the point of sleep in a different way says okay tell me i said so my wife and i were about to get married we were dating we gonna meet with a therapist a uh what do you call it a marriage counselor right and a very nice guy recommended through the church so we're like really excited about meeting this guy so i said so you know listen hey here's 200 you know before we get started you know tell me what is the key to uh having a successful marriage because you've been married for how long now he says 33 years wow 33 years fantastic what's the key to a successful marriage he says you know i got to tell you for 33 years my wife and i have one rule what's that we never miss dinner at six o'clock every day my wife and my kids up until 18 years old we were supposed to be together at six o'clock to have dinner and we believe that's the reason why we've been able to have a successful marriage i said okay i said what do you do for a living he says i'm a schoolteacher i said okay what does your wife do for a living she's also a schoolteacher i said that's great i said listen i appreciate your time i put my hand out there shook his hand he's confused he's like what's going on i say listen here's a 200 thank you so much you're wonderful we still have 55 minutes left i said i got what i needed out of five minutes in the hour and only five minutes you're wonderful thank you so much we get up we leave my wife's confused she's like babe i didn't even get a chance to ask any questions i said you're right but let's see what explain you my point why we don't have to talk to this guy she says why i said number one i said you're not a schoolteacher neither am i we don't get off at 3 30 every day and have the summer off and that's not the life we chose to live we chose to be an entrepreneur and you if you're going to marry this guy i'm a guy that runs businesses it's what i love to do it's my game it's like marrying an athlete marrying a politician marrying a rock star that's on tour marrying an artist marrying a creator marrying a pastor marrying somebody that has a different kind of schedule that they go so my wife goes and meets with pastor's wife who's a realtor and they have a meeting to get because we're going through all these different people trying to see what kind of feedback we're going to get and she asks my wife of a very random question she says listen before you guys get engaged in merit are you ready to share your husband with the world she says excuse me says are you ready to share your husband with the world i'm not sure i don't want to share with anybody he says well let me explain to what i mean by this so as you know my husband is part of a church with 20 000 members and there's a lot of people that want his time they want to be around they need him he sits on boards he does this he does that your husband's going in that direction and he's going to have people that want him to sit on boards pulled over here that direction this direction travels speaking all this are you okay with that are you okay with managing the calendar whose birthday anniversary preparing the vacation the holidays everything that's going on you need to put in this calendar because he's going to miss it and because he's got a lot of stuff on his mind that he's trying to come are you okay with this are you okay with that are you okay with him coming home at night late at 11 o'clock are you okay with this stuff and they have that conversation and she comes back and she tells me about the conversation right she's like i want this what was i saying okay what do you think about it are you okay with that like what do you think about what you said because that's kind of who i am that's kind of what i'm going to be doing and the wife was also a realtor so it wasn't like she's a stay-home mom she had us her own career just like my wife has her own career now we work together she's a vp she does things for herself with the company i said this makes sense that's the life the other therapist wasn't living our life so where am i going with sleep here so an author writes a book and talks about how we are better if we sleep seven or nine hours a night that may work if you're a school teacher and you work a certain set of hours you come home you write books for a living and you teach a few hours a week and you have time to go the way you want to do but that schedule is not going to work for somebody that's got a startup that's trying to build a company that's trying to get that going it's just not going to work it's not going to work for somebody that's trying to grow their business where for the first two five ten years it's a lot of work to survive while you're building your business by the way the seven to nine hour concept also doesn't work if you try to tell a mother who's about to have a baby and has a newborn baby and you tell the mother hey i just want you to know this author said you need to sleep seven to nine hours why are you not sleeping seven to nine hours the mother says how dare you tell me to sleep seven to nine hours this baby have to wake up every couple hours and she latches on me and i have to pump and i have to do this i can't sleep so i wish i could sleep seven to nine hours right and how dare you tell somebody in the military that's in the field right now trying to protect the country and he gets four hours of sleep because he's got guard duty at two o'clock in the morning how dare you tell that to that person right or somebody that's on a run like an obama or trump or a hillary clinton who's on a campaign to become a president and they're going 18 months and traveling non-stop shaking cans shaking hands shaking hands shaking what can i do to earn your vote what can i do turn your vote what can well i don't like the way your policy this this this that i think you're going to take jobs away from steel i think you're going to do this here we go again same thing i've said 700 times to other people here in pittsburgh i got to tell you again and here's what i'm going to be doing i'm going to please give me a shot let me or my we're not going to vote for you get out of our house ok next home here we go again how are you going to tell that person that's running to be a senator governor president seven to nine hours a night they're on a run so is he right or is he wrong i didn't say he's wrong but it's phases of life so what do i mean by phases of life and what does this have to do with the word guilt because everybody that ever did anything great in their lives they've gone on many runs for example taking the elon musk elon musk has been on more runs than other people have and he's condensed his time frame for example elon musk's day is three days to the average person elon musk's day one day is three days elon musk treated to the average person what a person accomplishes in a week ilan probably does in a day what a person accomplishes in a month he probably doesn't a week maybe even fewer than a week right a year or two is like dude two weeks is what i need on what the average person accomplishes because he's constantly feeding himself right he's on a run presidents are on multiple runs trump's been on multiple runs obama's been on multiple runs senate whatever community organizer first term second term it's runs it's runs it's runs you go on where does the guild come in place here here's the guilt the world is going to look at what you want to do in your life say the vision is very big massive and no matter what phase of your life you're in when you're here people who are here they're encouraging you oh you can do it man i'm here i'm a cheerleader and then you pastor like hey hey hey that's a little too much absolutely why is it too much is it too much or just because i passed you up so guilt no no no guilt killed guilt right at what level does it stop it never stops you're making 50 your body's making 70. you go to 100 000 this guy starts saying all he cares about is money you go to the next level you're making a quarter your body's making 380. okay your quarter is 380. you get to 500 oh it's just all about money man i'm just trying about that right you all of a sudden are creating a following and you're like hey i was just creating content all of a sudden you go over here no no no it's just too much all you're trying to be is too famous that that's guilt right you don't care about family hey you don't care about your kids hey you don't care about this all you care about is money all you care about is success this is all ways of trying to poke what guilt guilt guilt guilt so one of the guys on the same exact private webinar that i was doing monthly webinar that i was doing said patrick i'm having a hard time with life i said what do you mean he says i'm just not enjoying my life right now i said how's your marriage he says it's not the best but uh you know it's not that good i said is it bad no it's not really bad it's but it's not good it's not like we have anything that's kind of boring use the word boring i'm like in every word you want to use a marriage boring but sometimes marriage does get boring right because routine routine routine routine routine some excitement right okay uh how about business it's doing great how about money best ever how you doing physically healthiest i've ever been i said so what makes you happy he says it's very weird i'm not a drinker but the only time i've been happy lately is the fact when i go away and i have a drink and i'm scared because drinking is making me happy i said what are you escaping and he starts kind of talking and says well you know i'm growing at a 30 rate but there's a lot of people that are growing at 100 rate and he's going through all this other stuff i said why are you letting the world make you feel guilty buddy i said look you know there are certain things you can never do what do you mean by that i said look trump became a president and he beat bloomberg bloomberg wanted to be a president never became a president but bloomberg built a massive media company's worth 70 billion trump's only 25 billion trump won in this game bloomberg won in the media game bloomberg won in a business game okay you go back to a different level okay bloomberg won a media game elon musk is winning in the wealth game look at where elon musk is at right now and that's a race there's competition it's fun but the moment you get into too much comparison that turns into envy you have to really come back right so sleep guilt here's how much you should sleep should you don't know what i'm in the hunt for i'm in a run you're working too hard this is not good guilt killed killed killed killed should and guilt combined together is catastrophic combination should and guilt shouldn't guilt you should killed killed killed you should guilt killed killed you know what eventually happens you can't enjoy your life so here's what i said i said look my my expectation in life isn't perfection i'm not trying to perfect life i'm never going to perfect life my expectation isn't to be perfect for my mom and dad it's never going to happen not for anybody it's never going to happen however i'm going to give you the flip side my standard is to come through for the people i love the most my standard is to lead my standard is to improve my standards to get better but i have to also enjoy my life the other night i was sleeping with my son and my middle son is just such a sweetheart of a guy and it's me him and my oldest son who i love when we get into conversations one of my favorite people to talk to my older son my youngest son i just love talking to these guys right and uh my younger son says hey daddy we're off tomorrow i'm like really yeah he says aren't you the boss i said what do you mean you're the ceo aren't you said yeah why don't you take tomorrow off and come and spend time with us daddy i'm gonna call is that guilt he never puts that guilt thing on me like you never do that it's not putting the guilt thing on me i'm like you know what i rarely do this i said okay i said buddy i can't do that because i've got conference calls board all this other things that i have to do but let me see what i can do so i go to work all night i'm thinking about his comments to me so i come to work i do my thing i tell everybody after 3 30 i got to leave i finish it up at 3 30 i leave i go pick him up i surprise him i say go put your swimsuit on they put their swimsuit on we go straight to the park they run around zipline all this stuff they meet all these other kids that are playing with them 30 minutes later we went to the beach i'm in my swimsuit we're running around on the beach i'm making a sand castle with my daughter she's all over the place daddy i got sand on me this is disgusting daddy i don't like sand on my hands daddy please homie homie homie homie homie homie homie she doesn't say hold me she says homie homie homie homie i'm like bro bro bro bro should i pick her up we go in the water she gets her hands no no it's too daddy water's too close she's just climbing on top of me and we're wrestling we're having a good time my son is all over me um we're a mess we get in the truck we come back to the house everybody's wet the truck is a mess bring him back took two hours had a freaking incredible time with these guys magical time with these guys come home shower with them they put their clothes on then they went to a soccer practice and i went to miami to have a meeting at soho house with the mayor suarez of miami and bunch of influencers top 50 influencers and tech and krypton all this stuff in miami to have a meeting with them but i didn't do it because i felt guilty i did it because i wanted to do it so i can go spend time with these guys i chose to be an entrepreneur to create a business where i have the kind of wealth that i have in control that i have so i can do some of these things at times but often too many times people use that as an excuse of every day i'm working too hard i need to sleep i'm not talking to the excuse makers there's millions the majority of the world is just looking for an excuse to sleep more and work less the majority this is not that message for you this message is for the person that's watching saying pat i'm in a freaking hunt do not let the shoulds of the world and the guilts of the world confuse you of chasing your dreams and don't get caught up comparing yourself to everybody because once envy goes in you will not enjoy the process work like you've never worked before improve stay curious stay hungry keep coming up with new strategies all that other stuff but still figure out a way to enjoy your time with your family have a blast get the massage if you need to get the foot massage go do the exercise all of that stuff and by the way you can do all that crazy stuff together as well so now i told you it wasn't gonna be easy i hope i've made my point to you of combining sleep the shoulds and guilt the here's what you ought to be you're not you're not being good enough of a parent all these other things that you're doing hopefully those two make sense to you so if i made sense to you there's a video i want to recommend to you it's a talk i gave i don't even know what the timeline is maybe six years ago seven years i was on an rv i lived in about an rv i went you know 10 000 miles from la to miami to toronto to san francisco back to la and i gave this talk and one of the parts like 25 minutes called the dna of an entrepreneur if you've never watched it it's going to give you a lot of clarity what i talked about in today's video click over you to watch that with that being said have a great week everybody take care bye

Channel: Valuetainment

Views: 211,931

Keywords: Entrepreneur, Entrepreneurs, Entrepreneurship, Entrepreneur Motivation, Entrepreneur Advice, Startup Entrepreneurs, valuetainment, patrick bet david, Slow things down, Do your own research, Why research can make you millions, Monday Motivation, Valuetainment motivation, Motivation from Patrick Bet-David, How to get motivated, Dealing with guilt, Why you are guilty, How to deal with guilt

Id: 8aDu4GuVB4g

Length: 15min 8sec (908 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 12 2021