Which vacuum sucks the most? Let's talk about that. ( music playing ) Good Mythical Morning! Tomorrow is
our season 13 finale. We are taking a teeny-tiny
three-week break, and then we're going to be back
with "Good Mythical Summer," starting Monday, May 28th, where we'll be airing episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Yes, but today we're sampling
snacks from Japan and finding out
if the Titanic really sank or if it's all
a conspiracy cover-up. Hm, but first,
did you know that vacuums weren't invented just to scare
the crap out of cats? Believe it or not, some people actually use
their vacuums to clean up. But which vacuum cleaner
can clean up the competition? - Oh.
- It's time for... We're going to be testing
the eight highest-rated
vacuums on the market. We are doing this
tournament style, and we have created
some messy situations to pound these vacuums
head to head and see which--
nozzle to nozzle. But they really
won't touch, probably. That's sounding more violent - than what's gonna
actually happen.
- I guess that's a good-- They're both gonna
suck things that we've-- messes we've made. And then at the end, we will have crowned
one vacuum king. Let's say your grandparents
recently passed away, and your brother got
their acreage in the will. But they left you
their ashes. ( together )
Yay! Next thing you know, your toddler mistakes the urn
for a Hatchimal. And then bam! - Oh! Whoa! Grandpa!
- Grandma and Grandpa! - This is Grandma.
- This is Grandpa. Stop it, toddler!
You have the ashes
of a friggin' relative. What are you doing? Okay, so there's
a pretty similar spillage. All right, man,
that's a bit morbid. Let's set them back here. Just so you know
that is not human ashes. Okay, so over here we have the iRobot 890 from Roomba. Now, this thing
is very highly rated
on "Forbes." It is autonomous. I have the Bissell 1984-- which was a great year-- AirRam Cordless for $199. This thing can go totally
cordless for 40 minutes. I did not say,
but mine's $500. It is a robot. It is a robot, though.
You're right. Our main test is going to be
more about cleaning ability, and then if they're
tying on that, then we'll start to factor
other things in. Okay, so the way
this thing operates is you just step on it... ( whirring ) Give it one--
one nice one-and-back. Ooh, yeah. Oh, he's hit the mound. Grandma's pushing back. You're bulldozing her
to the edge. - ( vacuum crackles )
- Oh, that was a femur. Oh, it's kind of just
spreading it now. Oh, my gosh. Kind of painting Grandma
all over the carpet. This is horrible. Okay. All right, stop it. Wow, sorry, Grandma. - You basically just--
- Smeared her. All right, let's see
what happens with Grandpa
and the Roomba. - Okay, now.
- Okay, he was always
into high-tech stuff. There is a feature on here
that's more of a spot-cleaning
feature. So it'll say in one spot
and just go in a circle. So I'm gonna put it
right here. Put it right on the the--
( laughing ) Oh, gosh. This is a a bit extreme. Yeah. But hey, this is a real
vacuum test, man! I'm hitting the spot
targeted area. Female voice ( beeps ):
Error six. Move Roomba to new location. Oh, "Move Roomba
to new location." That's what she said. The problem is
it's not level. Start it next to it
because that's kinda what I did. I came from-- I didn't come
right on top of it. - I pushed her to the edge.
- Okay, here we go. ( beeps a melody ) That seems happy. Ugh. Stand back.
It's creating a fog of ash. Oh, my gosh. ( beeps melody ) ( laughter ) Okay, I guess the Roomba
forfeits this round. If you're in the market for
an autonomous vacuum cleaner, this was highly rated,
but for our purposes, - we're going with the Bissell.
- Mm. So it looks like Uncle Randall
was enjoying his favorite
snack-- nutmeg-- on the the white couch,
like he's known to do. He gets real excited
when he's watching "Matlock." He's like, "Oh, the case!" "I don't know how
this one's gonna end." Goes everywhere. And we've got two slightly
different colors of burgundy vacuum cleaners going
head to head this round. First up we've got the Bissell
Zing Bagged Canister Vacuum. This thing cost
a whopping $50. - Only $50.
- $50. And over here I've got
the Miele Complete C3
Soft Carpet PowerLine. This thing is $800. Good gosh,
that's a lot of nutmeg. Yeah, I'm gonna test
this one first. Now, the interesting thing
is that this thing has
a couch setting. It better for this price.
But you turn it on... - ( whirring )
- ...and then I 'm gonna go
to the upholstery setting. Okay, that brought it down
a little bit. The energy was kind of low,
but-- Then I'm gonna just
bring it across. Yeah, really push that nutmeg
into the upholstery.
That's good. Now, that was
the upholstery setting. So I think I can go even
harder than that. We'll just--you know,
we'll ease into this. You got up a lot, but you also smushed a lot
into the upholstery. Now I'm gonna go
with a light touch here. This one doesn't have
any settings. ( laughs )
On. On or off. Okay, here we go. ( laughs )
Okay. What? - Okay, okay.
- Look at that. - Yeah! Eat that, Miele.
- All right, cut it back off. Now, I feel bad about this. Even though there is
a couch setting, I feel like I've gotta put it
on the full blast setting. - All right, do it. Do it.
- Just see what happens. There's no way that this is
better than that $800 thing. I mean... I'm sorry to say it's-- You've smeared it
into the couch. It's got these things on it, which may help
in some environments, but when Uncle Randall's
been eating nutmeg, it sure doesn't help. It's definitely not worth
paying $800 versus what you just
accomplished with 50 bucks. Wow, look at that! Another Bissell moves on. Now, in my experience,
these wedge pillows are not great for sleeping. They are more suited
for other activities. Well, it looks like
the cats agree. Two saucers of merlot later,
and look what they've done. Yes, okay, in this round, I will be operating the Kenmore Elite Pet Friendly
31150 vacuum cleaner. This thing is $199, and it is actually
the 2018 "Consumer Reports"
number-one rated vacuum. Although it looks like the
1968 number-one rated vacuum. This is an old-school style, but it is the top vacuum
right now. Mine is $180. It is the Shark Navigator
Lift-Away Professional, and it has a special attachment that is called the
Shark Pet Hair Power Brush. That's convenient
'cause that's pet hair. So I'm going to give
this thing a nice little
pet-hair stroke. - Once over.
- Yep, and then, you have the same
attachment, right? - A similar one, yeah.
- Okay, fire it up! ( whirring ) Okay, it's spinning there. Oh. Oh, oh,
it's getting bogged down. Oh, okay. Okay, that's a good one,
so we're okay. Cut it.
Cut it. Okay, it did
a pretty good job. It definitely could do
the job, but you've got a little hair
bunching here and you had a little trouble... Okay, let's see
what this one can do. Okay. ( whirring ) - ( chuckles )
- It sounds powerful. Whoa. - Now, you gotta hold it
with your foot, like that.
- Okay. Keep it level. Bring your hand down. There you go. Aw, yeah. Kill it!
Kill it. Well, we've got absolutely
no hair bunching The little piece
that I left there was really my own fault
for not keeping it level. But it did not have any trouble
with that at all. Yeah, and we got
a nice clean streak here that the cats can go ahead and
take advantage of once again. All right,
so this isn't horrible, so good work, Shark, but-- But Kenmore
is going to move on. Hey, look at that.
We agree with "Consumer Reports"
for once. Yes. Sugar's hidden everywhere
these days. If you look closely
at this powdered sugar donut, you might be able to see
some powdered sugar on the outside of the donut. And because sugar
is so bad for you, we probably should just be
eating our donuts after sucking the sugar
right off of them. Yeah, so that's
what we're gonna do. Okay, I over here have the Dyson V7 Motorhead, $299. This thing is light.
It's cordless. It's got 30 seconds--
30 seconds! 30 minutes-- Got 30 seconds to do the job. You better be quick, brother. Uh, 30 minutes of
battery-powered suction power. Okay, and how much is it? Uh, 299. Okay, I have the Dirt Devil. This is the cheapest one we're
going to be testing today. - It is $45.
- Okay, all right. - All right. I'll go first?
- Sure. I'm just gonna turn
this thing on, and I'm not gonna
apply pressure. I'm just gonna use the suction
to take off the sugar 'cause I wanna eat
these afterwards. Right, you gotta get
the sugar off. - Firing it up.
- ( whirring ) There we go.
I've made contact. It's working, a little. Okay. Well, you definitely left
a mark on a number of them. Yeah, it kinda started
grinding them down, but simultaneously
not removing the powder. Yeah, there's still quite
a lot of powder on there. Let's see
what the Dyson can do. ( whirring ) Oh, gentle. Oh, yeah, lay it down. Oh, yeah. Oh, look at that. Oh, yeah. Okay. We've got the gentle
cleaning power of a Dyson. Yeah, and you know what? It didn't cut
into them at all. I mean,
this is still very edible. Give it a taste. Yeah, you first. Oh. I mean, there's still
some sugar on there, but I probably lowered
the calorie content by 20-30%. Which is what vacuums
are for. Remember that. Hm. And plus I like
the pink color. Yeah, it looks cool.
It sounds cool. And that guy on the commercial kind of makes you feel stupid
for not buying one. Yep, I ain't stupid. All right, we're moving on
with the Dyson. Let's say you've got
some new neighbors who've just moved
from a small Scandinavian town, and they practice
some strange traditions. And let's say
one of those traditions is leaving sardines
on your welcome mat as a way to represent
a bountiful harvest and good fortune. Or it just means
they hate you. Google Translate
wasn't really clear. Either way,
we gotta clean it up. Yep, and this
is the Bissell-off. - In front of Rhett we've got
a AirRam.
- AirRam. And then I've got the Zing. Okay, so I think we're just
gonna roll over the sardines. Let's go at the same time,
forward and backwards in sync. Okay, here we go. Forwards. Rhett: Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. All right,
mine did pretty good. And then back. Okay. Now, stop. Ugh, it stinks! Wow, again,
look at the little guy, man. - A forward and back.
- Dang. Ka-zing! I mean, you could go over that
a couple more times
and you're done. This is doing the thing
that it did with Grandma and just smearing it
right into the floor mat. Yeah, 'cause mine doesn't have
that stupid twirly thing
underneath it. Are you tell me
that we're singing-- we're sending a $50 Bissell
into the finals? - We're singing the praises
of the Zing.
- Yes. Don't you hate when you've
got a beach day planned and then it rains
and you gotta make
a sand castle inside? And don't you hate it
when you make sand castles inside your house,
and then you realize, "I don't know which vacuum
is best at cleaning this up." - Yeah!
- Well, let's figure that out. Our other semifinal contenders are the Kenmore Elite
that we talked about before, "Consumer Reports"
favorite vacuum. And the Dyson purple
wand thing. The D7. - All right, so--
- "Purple wand thing." I'm gonna go from the top
and just shave it a little bit. - Okay.
- You know? See if I can shave it down. Shave this side
so everybody can see. Here we go. ( whirring ) Oh, wow. Oh, that's nice. It's kind of spreading
it around. Uh... Well, that's sad. ( whirring stalling ) - Oh, I think you broke it.
- Okay, okay. No, I just filled it up. The canister's reached
its limit. All right,
I might need a little help
with this one, Link, because I wanna try to get
it level-- I'm gonna come around here
to this side, like you did. Okay. But I might need your help to-- We're going for-- we're gonna
shave this one down? - Yeah.
- ( whirring ) This can also double as
a most-satisfying-video-ever
video. Link:
Yeah. Pull it back.
Pull it back. Pull it back. It's heavy. Let it go down.
Yeah, let it get on there.
Yeah. Oh, yeah,
now we're cookin'. Yeah, all right. This is so dumb. The vacuum's getting
a lot heavier. All right. - Whoa, we--
- Look at my crotch. ...we filled her up. Well, I really feel like
this one went a lot further
before it gave out, and if you're cleaning up sand
castles, that's what you want. But the weight
was hard to get on top, but then we also used that
to our advantage. It was a two-man job. Yeah, that's definitely
a negative. I mean, this thing--
it only stopped
because it's full. You could just take it out,
dump it. I'm effortlessly
cleaning up everything. - It's--
- And it's cordless. And it's still purple. All right, Dyson moves on
to the finals. This strawberry mascot just got back
from a birthday party at Cotton Candy Randy's house. And Cotton Candy Randy vomited
peanuts and confetti on him like he's prone to do
when he gets excited. And then he came to use
because we had two vacuums. Don't worry, strawberry. We have two vacuum cleaners, a Dyson and a $50 Bissell. Why don't you start
with the Dyson? You want me to fire up
this Dyson? Check it out.
It's purple. - Cool.
- Yeah, that's got
a lot of mileage-- got a lot of mileage for Link. Oh, yeah. Wow. That's pretty good. That feel good? No. I think you just put some
peanuts down in his pants. Wow, I mean,
that's pretty amazing... - That was nice, man.
- ...how good of a job that did. Let's see
what the Bissell's got. You tell I'm a strawberry now. $250 cheaper. Oh. Nah, it's-- Ah, you know what? It left-- it had some trouble
with some peanuts. - Yeah, right?
- And it's leaving quite a bit. If you get in there close, you can see that the Dyson - left so little.
- Yeah, it did. - ( Dyson starts )
- Oh! Oh, oh. Hush, little child. So, you know what? It was a valiant-- it was a valiant stand
by the Zing, and I gotta say,
for 50 bucks-- oh, sorry, I just broke it. - ( laughter )
- No. For 50 bucks this thing is pretty
powerful and impressive. But the purple rodded one
takes the cake, man. That's right, the Dyson V7 is the vacuum
that sucks the most. Take that however you will. Congratulations, Dyson. You've done it. Next up, we're exploring
unbelievable snacks from Japan. Dear Mythical Beasts of the land down under. We're coming to see you
in July. Get tickets and details
on the VIP package at tourofmythicality.com.
