"WHERE ARE THE PARENTS"

[Music] i announced i was preaching from the book of proverbs chapter number 29 and for sake of time i want to read one verse of scripture thank you for all the good singing today proverbs chapter 29 and verse number 15. the rod of reproof give wisdom notice after the word wisdom it's a colon it's not a semicolon it's a colon because the rest of this verse is what happens if you don't do what precedes the colon can i say that again if you don't do what precedes the colon then you're going to experience what follows that colon so what we're supposed to do is have have a rod of reproof that gives wisdom but if you don't a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame i want to preach for just a few minutes this morning and deal with that passage of scripture if you'll please keep your bible open the name solomon which wrote the book of proverbs means a man of peace or a man of wisdom solomon wrote the book of proverbs and his writings back in 700 bc but that's when they began to come together and to be put in a book but literally he wrote these proverbs from 1050 bc to 975 bc what is a proverb anyway we have a whole book in our bible 31 chapters of them what what does it mean a proverb simply means a short stay a saying that contains general truth or a piece of sound advice so why solomon was king after his father david died while he was king of israel he wrote these proverbs that we have in our book he wrote them with two reasons at that time number one to educate the people of israel and also to instruct his own children did you know in the 31 chapters of the book of proverbs there are over 800 good sound sayings that solomon gives us to help us with our wisdom now you've got to understand solomon is not a perfect fellow when god asked solomon what he wanted when he became king out of everything solomon could have asked for he asked god for wisdom that's why his name means a person of wisdom so solomon was not perfect if god only used perfect people he would never use any of us solomon worshiped the false gods that he brought in because he married unconverted women and i say to you young men it's kind of a side note you better be careful who you date you young men donate any girl that wants to get you out of a good church and go to a liberal good for nothing where they don't even know if they got a bible if you're dating a girl that's trying to get you out of church where they preach the word of god you're preaching you're dealing with a woman as mean as a snake she'll control you the rest of your life bring her here set her tail on the front row let me preach the hide off her and let me see what she's really got solomon screwed up his relationship with god because of some stupid broad that he wanted to bring into his house he's known as a man of wisdom but i really doubt it myself he had 300 wives and 700 shack ups who in the name of god in their right mind wants a thousand mother-in-laws he raised high taxes to raise the government revenue he misused the kingdom's funds to build his own glorious mansion for himself he introduced forced labor to build the building programs he gave part is part of israel a way to pay off a debt he killed his half brother because he was afraid he was going to take his throne he hired skilled pagan craftsmen to build the holy temple of god he made treaties with foreign nations that were against the nation's covenants that god had instituted so we're not reading from a man that's perfect but we are reading from a man that's been down the road and he has seen the good the bad and the beauty and ugly of life and he is warning us in a proverb in sound wisdom he's warning us in verse 15 you better take heed and instruct and reprove your children because if you let them go later on they'll bring shame into your life into your family and into your home now i didn't say that god said that now notice the terminology in verse 15 a child left to himself that word left to himself means nobody's available for them there's no principle to guide them to be found void broken destroyed undone lost the word left to himself means to pick a ear of corn while it's green and not giving it the ability to mature or to develop in other words because we're not there for our children and they are left alone they never come to fruition in their life they never produce anything that's good children without guidance example training and control will bring those that should have invested in their lives to shame there is a day when they will embarrass you publicly so i want to preach on the subject a child left to himself is a very powerful statement i want to preach on the subject where are the parents i see our teenagers going south or left so fast that every sunday i want to get up here and bash on them kids are living loose doing stupid stuff and getting by with a lot of nonsense that our parents would have beat the hide off of us for even thinking about doing [Applause] but i have to govern my rebuke to young people because when i look at that i ask myself yes they're not doing right but where in the name of heaven are their parents there's four types of parents according to psychology this is not biblical there's four types of parents in the world today first you have the passive parent they're child driven they never enforce rules on their children they over indulge in them to avoid conflict with their child simply putting it is they don't want to be a parent they want to be a friend they want to be a buddy they want to be an associate now i'm going to tell you if you've never noticed it yet you can't be a parent and be their buddy and if you're going to be there buddy they're going to leave you in shame is what the bible says whether my kids thought i was their buddy or not whether they thought i was their friend or not i was their daddy and as long as say sleeping in my bed and living under my roof and eating at my table they was going to do what daddy said now they may not have been old enough to fear god but i'll just let them fear daddy till they get old enough to fear god the passive parent then you have the authoritative parent solves problems with the child sets rules and expectations for their children they have open communication with their children and warn them of consequences of bad decisions then you have the neglectful parent that's absent from their life they provide no guidance for their children they're indifferent in the child's social and emotional needs in other words they're unplugged from their children are we parents aware that the bible says the glory of a child is their father when children are coming up there's nothing more glorious to them than a kind loving communicating understanding father and because you're their glory when they're young you are setting by example the way god's going to treat them when they get older because you're their glory you're their life you're the shining of their life so the way you're treating your child you're telling your child this is the way god's gonna treat you when you get out on your own and i think when we take it in that perspective a lot of daddies need to step back and recalculate the way you're addressing your children that's called neglect neglect of parenting then you have the authoritative parent parent they're parent driven they're strict rules with rigid punishment there's only one-way communication the children are never allowed to talk and there's no consideration of the child's needs or safety in their life i know our young people are having problems everywhere i go people talk about how sorry this generation is how they won't work how they talk back to their parents how they don't want any responsibility how they're hooked on the internet how they just lay around how they won't cut the grass how they have no responsibility and i believe everything you're saying is true but in the back of my mind i'm saying where are the parents now there are some areas of life through the book of proverbs i'm going to say in this book that god expects you to train and be in charge of decisions that your children are making while they live in your home listen just because your daughter's starting to wear a training bra and your boy's got hair under his arms don't mean they're an adult and you take all the limitations in the back i know you don't like it but i'm gonna preach it anyhow some of you mamas think when your little girl turns 13 she's 21. she may have a 21 year old body but she's got a 13 year old mind and she'll be in the back of somebody's car fornicating out in the field somewhere and you'll wonder why you lost your children amen i know i'm telling it right you don't like it you can leave but i'm telling you somebody ought to be saying it you saw that's pretty rough in the pulpit if you were saying it at home bless god i wouldn't have to be saying it in the pulpit so where are the parents where are the parents let me give you some ways that solomon said we are obligated to our children number one in chapter seven and verse number seven take notes don't don't take notes by the cd i need the money look up here at me i don't want i've already got half of you looking down and i haven't even started yet the first priority a parent has in training their children is in their sexual purification the bible declared in chapter seven in verse number seven that there was a good clean young man that was looking out his window and ended up being seduced and ruined by a street and the reason why he was seduced and ruined by a street here's what the bible said he was void of understanding his mom and dad had never set him down and said look god made a man and god made a woman and everything else is perverted by the way god made a man and god made a man to be with a woman and god made a woman to be with a man [Applause] so what happens is we got this hush hush you you can't talk about sex to your kids somebody is when 750 000 teenage girls are having babies and not married somebody's talking about sex somewhere and so it's become a hush hut subject okay so psychologically you don't want to talk about growing up developing in sex with your kids so here's what the kids think in their mind mom and dad don't want to talk about it therefore it must be dirty so we present sexual contact as dirty but in marriage god said it was honorable you've got to be careful that you don't damn something so much that you take something good and presented it as evil that's why i believe the divorce rate is so high among our young married couples is because in their mind sex was not mentioned it was never talked it was never discussed and so women have been telling their daughters honey sex a horrible thing and it's dirty but you got to do it to keep a man and that's the philosophy women have and they never learn to relax they never learn to enjoy their mate they never know what the happiness of marriage truly is it's just some dirty thing mom and dad wouldn't talk about that you got to do to keep your husband and if you've got that philosophy you're warped by the way that is not the way god intended it to be you should be able to talk to your children about everything from sunday school to sex you should be able to set them down and i was maybe a little bolder than some people were i told my boy you keep your zipper up and your mouth shut or i'll beat the living devil out of you that's exactly what i said i told my daughters that's what i said i told my daughters you're going to be a virgin when you get married i didn't raise a you're not going to be slipping out of the window like a dog in heat running around the neighborhood i'm not putting up with that i'm not raising you like that i will take care of you i am available for you i will love you at the end well i started dating my daughters i would take them out on a date i'd put a flower on them i'd open the door for them brother spears i put them in the car you know what i was doing i was training them how a real man takes care of a real woman [Applause] i may not finish today i may make this a two-part series but some of you look like you already wish you wouldn't have come today but i'm gonna preach it anyhow so when they were 12 years old i took them out and began to date with them just them and i would go it was private time it was daddy daughter time i held their hands we walked through malls and people would look at me like that old goat fooling with that little girl and i would open their doors and i would say honey now when you meet a boy this is what you can expect out of him make him open the door for you if you go out to his car and he don't open the door and he jumps in the car stand there just stand there teach that idiot that a man opens the door for his wife [Applause] [Music] and you tell him to keep his hands off you if he attempts to touch you you bust him in the mouth and yell right and tell him your daddy is going to kill him teach them how to date you set rules and boundaries you set accountability let me tell you why fornication's so high in america matter of fact higher than it's ever been here's why you parents trust your kids are you kidding me you got hormones going this way and you got hormones going that way you got estrogen going that way oh i trust my daughter you're nuts they'll be fogging on her like a policeman catching a street dope head they'll be feeling all over your daughter are you out of your mind you make your kid look i'm a married man i got a beautiful wife we have a wonderful relationship and i won't be alone with a woman and you're going to trust your teenage kid with hormones going everywhere oh i trust johnny yeah go ahead trust johnny you have johnny jr after a while then what are you going to do you laughing but you know i'm telling her right and some of you parents are letting your kids go and you're letting them hot knob around and you're not making them be accountable so here's what you do you make them sit in the living room where you can see them if a boy's got a problem seeing your daughter because you're in the house i want to ask that boy a question what do you want to do to her that you don't want me to see that's my question y'all listen to me you teenager i'm preaching you i'm talking to you you don't go anywhere and let somebody screw around and follow on you and fool around with you and then they drop you and go tell all their school buddies how big of a trash your daughter is that's how they treat you and you boys ought to be just as clean as the girls you ought to be just as sanctified as the girls it's not right a boy goes out and sleeps with everything in the neighborhood then when he wants to get serious he comes to our church and wants to date some of our girls that's been sheltered and protected and have retained their purity i'm gonna tell you a bunch of long-haired slobs come in here they ain't laying all over some girl in this church i tell you right now son that ain't happening ain't happening in this church [Applause] and i'm telling every parent right now you look up here some of you used to shout when your kids were 12. now they're 16 and i know you're quiet but if you think i'm stopping because it's your kids you're out of your ever-loving mind i preached it then i'm gonna preach it now now if you think your boyfriend and your son or your daughter is going to lay around each other and lick each other's neck in this church house you at the wrong church house you know why it's double doors back there because we're gonna throw both of them out of here and by the way what kind of girl would let that go on in the house of god if you'll be that loose in the house of god i'd hate to know what you are in your living room [Applause] and i don't care whether it's a church house i don't care where it's fellowship hall you boys and girls sitting on that couch the next time i find you laying on each other you're coming to my office i'm bringing your parents in office and either they're stopping it or i'm stopping it because that ain't happening here it ain't happening here this a church house not a whorehouse and i ain't letting it be one oh no you parents clap cause you're a bunch of whoremongers too you're fooling around with somebody on the job you got an extra lover in the backseat you're fooling around on the chatroom no wonder you look at me mad when i preach like this because you've been a sorry example for your own kids so where are the parents why don't we just teach our kids to be clean what's wrong with that talk to them about their purity number two for the few that are still listening i want to talk about right now we need to train them not only in their sexual purification but also in their working occupation the bible says in chapter 20 and verse 11 that they will talk about the child's work being pure in other words they notice when this child is employed they have good character they have discipline when they get a job it's an opportunity for a young person to get out and learn what's really out there they learn how to deal with others they learn how to be a testimony they learn responsibility they learn rebuke when they're wrong they learn prosperity when they do what's right we have a lazy generation with no appreciation for money country or their parents and the reason why you know i'm right [Applause] we got 16 17 18 year old boys here's never had a job never had a job signs everywhere you go help wanted i mean even the crack house has a sign help wanted we we can't even get crackheads to go to work yeah the crack house has a hiring now sign on it i was with some kids the other day and their grandparents gave them twenty dollars and one of the kids lost to twenty dollars now twenty dollars my day's a lot of money a lot of money could have bought a whole ounce for 20 bucks but and the one kid said to the other kid don't worry it was given to you anyway see the reason why they have no appreciation is because they don't work when you start working for what you have somebody said when did you quit squealing tires on your car when daddy made me buy the tires that's when i quit splitting the tire i found a whole nother dimension you listening brother matthew because your days are about to get worse than they've ever been in your whole life so you better you better get a copy of this cd and listen to it once a week so because kids you mean you're 17 and 18 years old you never had a job parents what are you thinking what age is this kid going to be available to become a man what are you going to do when you 18 years old and he's never had a job are you out of your mind when my youngest son turned 16 i said happy birthday gave him a nice cake i gave him a bucket a squeegee and a bottle of window washer and i said happy birthday son you're 16 do not come home until you have a job you are not welcome in this house until you own a business and he came back that night with all clean usa and he cleaned windows and he pressure washed until the day he got married are you listening to me [Applause] you parents are killing yourself working overtime working two jobs so you can buy them the latest xbox and then spend 120 bucks on that nonsense and go upstairs in the attic and watch that bunch of filth and you're training your kids how to kill people and blood all over the screen and free sex and naked women and you're sitting down there watching tv and popcorn and you're letting ungodly world raise and rape the minds of your children amen am i right sure i'm right throw that kid out in the yard let god make that boy raise a goat make him raise chickens teach that girl how to sew teach them how to put a button on teach them how to fist the cuff in the hand yeah and teach them how to run a washer and dryer am i still preaching now [Music] i notice you parents are fading out on me now [Applause] lazy generation and the parents out cutting grass and the kids playing nintendo my daddy would have stuffed that nintendo down my throat and i'll tell you what it took me two weeks to digest it but i'll tell you one thing when the grass needed cut i cut it and by the way big boy i didn't have a riding lawnmower with bluetooth heard a boy tell his dad the other day i'll cut the grass get a lawnmower with bluetooth i'll tell you what i'd had i'd had a black eye i wouldn't had a bluetooth what in the bluetooth you know what kind of lamor i had the old manual kind the blade only moved when you moved you didn't ride that thing you didn't cheat on that thing [Music] but it made me what i am it told me i can be something in life it taught me that i can be better than what i am it showed me that i can have more than what i got i am what i am because my daddy taught me to work just work we have got to train them in their occupations when my children were lit and we're not old enough to get a job i would train them and work with them and show them how to do things and then when they did it i paid them for doing it and when i paid them for doing it there their pay was divided in three sections number one was their tithe because that's the first fruits that belongs to god the second was investing for their future because you got to teach your kids not only to get you got to teach them how to be wise once they get you got to teach them that just because you got 10 extra bucks you don't have to spend it it won't burn a hole in your pocket some of you men bless god if you made ten thousand dollars a week your wife would still keep you broke owning a bunch of nonsense that ain't worth a dime they'll have a yard sale sell everything they got then take that money go right back to walmart and buy other junk [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] and the children have absolutely no worth work ethic at all at work you young people when you get a job and your boss tells you to do something don't say that ain't my job that's stupid it is your job if you're on the clock and he's paying your wages whatever he tells you to do you shut up you show character you show discipline you show obedience and if you'll do what's right one day you can have his job where are the parents i'm wondering i'm not going to ask you if i were to raise hands does it even have a job you'd be surprised i don't know if anyone can raise their hand have never worked in their life i'm going to tell you what brother lucky calls him and i'm going to push this off on him because he's the one that said it you got to pay for what you say he calls them trust fund babies trust fund baby they're trust fund babies and you know what they do they sit around ringing their thumbs hoping mom and dad dies because they sure like to get that new truck that new boat no i'd like to get that new house i ain't going to work for it but if i can outlive mom and dad i know i'm going to inherit everything they got if i was a parent and my kid thought that way i'd leave it to the veterinarian clinic bless god for i'd leave it to a sorry son or daughter that wanted me to die so they could have what i [Applause] if i got paid by claps i'd be in debt today i could tell you that much number three and i'm closing i'm not going to get the finish we need to talk about their future qualification the bible said in chapter 22 and verse 6 train up a child in a way should go and when it's old it'll not depart from it many people have claimed that in the spiritual realm i have no problem with that but in its context it's not talking about spirituality we know we should train them up in the things of god but every child has been given a gift by god and every one of those gifts are different in every one of your children and it's our obligation as a parent to find out the gift god gave them and train them up in that gift so that when they get older they will not depart from the occupation god raised them up to be some people were gifted with mechanics some people are gifted with keyboards some people are gifted with sales so as a parent while our children are young we got to develop the gift that god has put in them and then you train them in that way so that when they get older they're in an occupation that they like and they appreciate there comes a time in life for young people mom and dad where if you are miserable at the job it doesn't matter how much they pay there is a day when you say you know what i don't care what it pays i can't handle this anymore and that's because when they were younger they were not trained by their parents they didn't take the time to find a gift that god had given them and now they're miserable in the years when they should be putting your things aside and accumulating do you know what the gift is that god gave your child do you know the technique that god has embedded in them you cannot make your children be the same i've seen so many parents lose their children over this and here's what happens the first kid is good in sports but the second boy is not but because the first kid likes the sports that the parents like the mom and dad decide they're gonna make the second kid play sports too he's not good at it he doesn't like it you can tell about his body language he doesn't want to be out there but mom and dad is forcing him to be that way because the older son is that way if you want to lose your children and raise a son and daughter that hates your guts you pick out a mold for them and try to make them something god never intended them for v to be and they will hate god and they will hate you you let your children be different god makes everybody different there's only one of you in the world some may have personality some may not some may be big and strong some may not be some of your daughters may be more beautiful than the others some more may be more active than the others you cannot distance yourself or down your children because they're different god made them that way and you should invest just as much time in every one of your children no matter what their gift is you invest in that am i right so my nine-year-old grandson he does not like football my youngest grandson's quarterback won two championships he's fine but his brother doesn't like football so what do i do go around calling him a in a punk because he don't like football no i set him down and i said what do you want to do with your life he's nine years old he said i'd like to be in i'd like to be a writer did you know he's nine years old he's already published his first book so see i didn't snigger at him [Applause] so you don't laugh at them because they're not you you're not your parents let them be themselves just govern it keep boundaries on them keep it in the right way keep it godly and pure nine years old he wrote his own book he showed me the other day he's writing another book nine years old it's because i sat down and found the gift god had for him and i'm going to work that gift for him is that making sense [Applause] well i think i've done enough damage today i have i've got three more points and i don't i don't think i don't think my wife can take it i only think my wife can take it but i'm telling you this and i'm done i want to tell you this parenting is difficult it's very difficult everybody knows how to raise kids so they have one parenting is difficult because kids come down from heaven to us without an instruction manual seventy percent of them don't have a dad another nine percent are being raised by grandparents we have that here every day our kids get up young ambitious their whole life before them and before their feet hit the floor they're in a battle with the world the flesh and the devil and sometimes for these tender hearted young minded teenagers that we have life can be overwhelming the odds of them turning out right are against them but that doesn't mean anything when you have god for you you can still do right if you want to no matter what everybody else does so [Applause] so parents come to me quite often and say this i tried to raise my kids right i failed what one of us hadn't failed as a parent but i gave it my best but they went bad anyhow does that mean i'm a failure and when my wife and i first got saved we were beat over the head where if your kids went bad is because you was a bad parent if your kids rebelled it's cause you as a sorry dad he was an unloving mother and we were submitted to that kind of preaching when we were young it was very scary but here's what the bible said i read a verse one day that changed my mind brother horn here's what god said i have raised up children a perfect father said i have raised children and here's what he said and they have rebelled if a perfect father and a perfect god can have trouble out of his children you better believe you and i can have trouble out of our children but the benefit of giving it your best is this no matter what they do out there in the future when they are grown you can pillar your head before god and say they're not doing right but they didn't do it while they lived here you'll have peace in your heart that you gave it your best shot and you give it everything you had to give them a decent chance at life one old-timer said this about the time we learn to be a halfway qualified parent our children are grown and that's why we make it up in our grandkids you ever notice how papaws and mammals change with grandkids how many times have you heard your kids say to you if i'd done that you'd have killed me yeah you're laughing cause you've done it i don't know why mom and dad let them get by without they they killed me it's not that we love them different or more it's just that through life we learned that maybe in some areas we were wrong don't jump your parents for correcting what they thought they did wrong with you if they show you stuff that's a little bit different with your your kids their grandkids maybe because through life we learn some things that where we were too strong we need to back up or maybe where we wasn't strong enough we need to get stronger would you give us just a little bit of grace of that because we want to be involved in their lives we want to be there when they graduate we want to hug them when they get married we want to hold our grandkids let's give the lord a hat did i tell it right and brother mark when we're old and feeble and our life's about gone whether it be on the side of the road a hospital bed or a nursing home i want my grandchildren to rise up and call me blessed that's what solomon said live your life in a way so that when you're dying your family will gather around your bedside and say blessed be their influence blessed be their memory blessed be the training they put into my life because it made me what i am now can i get an amen on that as i tell it right together

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Length: 34min 9sec (2049 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 27 2021