Are you Being ignored by someone you care
about? IF so, you know it’s one of the most frustrating
and difficult situations to deal with especially when you don’t know the reason. That’s why In this video, I’m going to
share the top 5 reasons why the person you’re dating or interested in might be ignoring
you. And I’m going to tell you exactly what to
do about each of them. So don’t go anywhere because were starting
in 4 seconds. hi everyone. I’m dr Antonio Borrello, Welcome to another
video. I’m a psychologist and relationship coach
and I make weekly dating and relationship advice videos. This channel is all about helping you build
great relationships so you can grow happy with the people you love. So, if you’re interested in making your
love life the best part of your life, start now by clicking the subscribe button and the
bell notification so you aren’t missing anything. Oh… and make sure you watch this video all
the way to the end.. because after We talk about why he’s ignoring you, I’m going
to tell you the four things you absolutely must NOT do as well.. These are the things that will sabotage your
chances of turning things around. So make sure you watch the whole video and
get those too. Oh, and I’m also going to tell you how you
can win a $50 Amazon gift card just for leaving a comment below. So don’t miss that easy money. Lol OK… on to our topic.. Whats a guy thinking when he ignores you and
what you can do about it. There are so many reason why men.. (and women)
resort to ignoring or fading away from a person they are dating. And make no mistake about it… feeling ignored
is terrible. It’s hurtful, frustrating, and unfortunately
it’s a common situation that people deal with when in dating relationships. Everything starts out great…. He’s giving you tons of attention, making
plans to see you, he’s keeping in touch on the phone and with texts – basically,
things feel perfect. But then something happens… He stops calling and has become less responsive
to you or perhaps he doesn’t even respond to you on the same day. He’s ignoring you and it feels horrible
in the pit of your stomach. And that’s when you start questioning everything…
replaying your interactions over an over… trying to figure out what happened. was it something you said? Did they learn something about you that they
don't like? Why is he ignoring you and why is it so difficult
to handle? Well let me explain. Being ignored is so difficult because it forces
us to deal with uncertainty and ambiguity …and the brain does not like uncertainty
or ambiguity… especially when we are dealing with matters of the heart or when we can imagine
scenarios in which we are threatened. It’s a phenomenon that has been well researched. For example a 2005 university study concerned
with human decision making found that even a little bit of ambiguity will activate the
amygdala – the region of the brain responsible for processing emotional reactions and threat
responses – The researchers found that the amygdala “lights up” on neuroimaging scans
when we deal with ambiguity and uncertainty. In other words, the more uncertainty and ambiguity,
the more the amygdala registers a threat response. And it’s so difficult to handle because
That part of our brain can’t separate physical threats… like someone coming at you with
a knife from “silly” threats like someone not responding to your text message. And then you’ll have people who say things
like… just forget about it.. what’s the big deal…. he isn’t responding to you
or he’s ignoring you.. get over it.. but it’s not so easy, right. And Trying to talk yourself out of it isn’t
super effective. And not only does the uncertainty feel threatening
and anxiety provoking, being ignored can have serious physical side effects too, The silent
treatment, even if it’s brief, also activates the anterior cingulate cortex – the part
of the brain that detects physical pain. Yes.. you heard that correctly… The initial pain is the same in your brain
as physical pain… and causes physical symptoms too. So Yeah.. being ignored hurts.. a lot. But there is a little bit of good news…
because this emotional pain is felt in the same areas of the brain as physical pain,
you can take Tylenol or ibuprophen to help alleviate the pain. Its true… look it up OK… so we know the feelings of being ignored
are real and they are painful. So why are they doing it?… what are they
thinking when ignoring you. Well, first… you have to be absolutely sure
he is ignoring you? you’ve got to be completely certain that
you aren’t over reacting and panicking when there may be a legitimate and harmless reason
for his lack of communication. When a man doesn’t reply to your texts right
away, but eventually, he gets back to you in a few hours or the next day, this isn’t
such a big deal. Chances are he’s got an explanation and
good reason for not getting back to you. But if someone is leaving you unanswered after
days and this behavior is completely unlike him, then you know you’re being ignored. Now you can start to worry. So If you feel like your boyfriend or the
guy you’re interested in is ignoring you, here are the top 5 reasons and how you can
deal with them. 1.They are playing games or playing hard to
get. At the beginning of a relationship, a person
may believe they have to “play hard-to-get” in order to sustain your interest. This kind of behavior is a powerful form of
manipulation that sadly, works –especially on people with low self-esteem. But Even if you’re self esteem is very robust…
if you’ve been with a person for a bit and they start taking days and days to respond
to your messages or answer your calls, it get’s very frustrating. He wants you to experience that uncertain,
panicked response so that you’ll be more receptive to him when he does reply. So what do you do? Call them out their behavior. You can say something like this… You’ve seemed really distant the past couple
of weeks—you haven’t been calling or texting and it takes you hours and days to respond
to my message with one or two words. What’s going on, are you ok?” Try not to be accusatory because that can
be met with defensiveness By the way, that isn’t desperate either.. It just lets him know that you’ve noticed
a change in his behavior and gives him an opportunity to explain.” 2 He’s punishing you
When someone is intentionally ignoring you to punish you, it’s because he wants you
to feel the pain that uncertainty provokes. He may be motivated by revenge; he feels that
you’ve ignored him, so he’s doing the same. If you’re in the middle of an argument,
he might be ignoring you until the situation calms down, especially if he’s uncomfortable
with conflict or feels that arguing is counterproductive. Even so, being ignored when you’re angry
is incredibly frustrating and not a healthy way to solve a dispute. The best relationships are built on communication. If your partner is unwilling to engage with
you to resolve issues and prefers to ignore you then you should reconsider whether they
are mature enough to be in a relationship with you. 3 He’s not alone. So this one could be good or bad.. Some people put their phones away when they
are visiting with family or friends or when they are working closely with a colleague. If that’s the case, he probably does the
same when he’s with you, right. But if he is a person who is constantly taking
calls and texts even when you’re together, then you might question his motives for ignoring
your calls or texts. Is he ignoring you because he is with someone
that he’s hiding you from? Here is a real example of a person who was
cheating on her boyfriend… whenever she was spending time with her boyfriend, she
would block the other guys number on her phone. That way she wouldn’t risk a text or call
coming through and having to explain to her boyfriend. And when she was with the other guy, she temporarily
blocked her boyfriends number. Obviously she made these men feel ignored
as their calls and text messages went unread and unresponded to. So, is he ignoring you because he is up to
no good? If that’s the case, be prepared for some
kind of elaborate explanation for his disappearance. 4 He’s trying to break up with you. oftentimes someone you’re dating becomes
distant because they’re afraid of the confrontation of breaking up with you. they would rather fade out of a relationship
than end it properly. So, If you feel him pulling away and making
excuses not to see you, then he’s using ignoring you as a break-up method. He’s hoping that you’ll eventually get
fed up of being ignored and end the relationship yourself. Or you’ll just stop trying and the relationship
will fizzle out without any kind of confrontation. So, what can you do. Instead of being strung along, tell him that
if this isn’t working out for him, you’ll understand. Then you’ll have the opportunity to move
on without any doubt or hesitation. So, if he wants to break up, you’ve just
given him the opportunity. And if he doesn’t want to break up, it gives
you an opportunity to communicate about your needs and expectations, 5 He’s just not that into you
This can be a difficult truth to accept. We often choose to believe that someone is
just busy or naturally ‘bad’ at texting, which is why they are ignoring us. But do you really want to be with someone
who puts contacting you at the bottom of his to-do list? Everyone has bad days but, in the early days
of a relationship, there’s no reason why he should be ignoring you. And if he is, then he’s either still playing
games and not ready for a long-lasting relationship or just not that into you…. So, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and
find out what’s going on. Look, I understand the need to play it cool
and not get too invested.. I mean who wants to be hurt. So if you’ve been playing it cool And not
showing too much interest, maybe he mistook that for you being disinterested… and so
that’s the same vibe he’s giving you. So, take a chance and be vulnerable.. tell
him how much you like being with him and that you want to see him. If he’s on the same page, he will also let
his guard down and share his feelings. But if he doesn’t, then you know he’s
not that into you and you can decide if you want to continue pursuing the relationship
or not. OK.. now we move on to the things you absolutely
must not do. So keep watching because if you do these things,
you’re ruining your chances of making things right again. 1 Don’t Keep Calling and Texting
If there’s a legit reason why he’s not responding as much, over-texting or over-calling
just to get an answer will come off as possessive, insecure, and a little crazy. Trust ? me, he’s seeing your calls and texts…..
besides, if he didn’t see that you’ve been trying to reach him, shouldn’t he be
concerned and reach out to you? , so yeah, he’s seeing that you reached
out. If he still doesn’t respond after a week,
you may need to come to grips with the fact that you’ve been ghosted. 2. No begging and pleading. Regardless of how much it hurts, you can’t
beg or plead with a person to stay with you. When you do and when you get rejected, you
will only hurt more and feel helpless and frustrated. And, begging and pleading will make them cringe
and feel sorry for you. And if they are ignoring you because they
can’t handle confrontation, they certainly will move further away if they know you’re
begging and pleading.. don’t do it. 3. Don’t resort to hurtful insults, name calling
or picking a fight. Of course, you’re angry, but confrontations
or saying something hurtful will be something that you later regret. Don’t do it. 4. no Hunting and haunting. Hunting involves going to places with a high
probability of running into an ex-partner. You do that because Your’re hoping for a
sudden and dramatic change of heart after a ‘coincidental’ meeting. Haunting refers to stalking behaviors like
driving by the ex-partner’s home or monitoring their social media sites hoping to see that
nothing in their life has changed. These hunting and haunting behaviors are detrimental
to you for several reasons. First, they require you to spend considerable
time and energy thinking about the other person and what they might be doing. And when you find evidence that your ex-partner
has moved on, you’ll make unfavorable comparisons to your life and ruminate about your loss. Too often, the information you learn is incomplete,
and you become more curious. Again, the focus is on your ex, instead of
focusing on things you could do to speed up your recovery. Look, i know how frustrating it is to feel
like you’re being ignored. It’s can be a powerful form of abuse. But Sometimes it happens in the middle of
a heated argument, and temporary Silence can be healthy. Especially to avoid exacerbating the situation
or to avoid saying something that is later regretted. However, deliberately giving someone the silent
treatment as a method of control or punishment is abusive- it’s not problem solving. When there is a problem between two people,
the only healthy thing is to engage in dialogue to find solutions. Silence and distance only generate more problems
and, in the end, solve absolutely nothing. You know I love reading about your situations
and getting feedback from you. So much so, that I’ve decided to try something
new to encourage you to leave a comment. So I’m going to give away a $50 amazon gift
card to one of the first 30 people who leave a comment suggesting a topic you’d like
me to talk about in a future video or describing a situation where you or someone you know
dealt with being ignored. So yeah.. I’m going to randomly pick a number from
1-30 and the person who’s comment that corresponds to will get a $50 Amazon card through email. So take a moment, like this video and leave
a comment.. that’s all you have to do. And of course I’m going to respond to all
of you as well. That’s it for this video. Thanks for watching and I look forward to
chatting with you below.
