What Women are Actually Attracted to: the Archetypes of Desire

the Google boys a while back the engineers they did an analysis of women's use of pornography men's too well so males use visual pornography as everyone in their dog knows but women prefer literary pornography and it's very tightly themed it like it's very archetypically themed so the typical protagonist is surgeon werewolf V vampire pirate or billionaire or some combination interesting combination of all of those attributes and the standard um plot is attractive young woman all of whose virtues are not well known so it's like mousy librarian type you know the Hollywood Beauty who takes off her glasses and you know exactly that she attracts the attention of this more predatory male let's say or at least a male with the capacity to be predatory entices him into a relationship and helps him reveal his commitment and his good side and it's it's Beauty in the Beast fundamentally which I really think is the fundamental female archetype like there's a heroic archetype that goes along with the feminine as well because women also confront the unknown and all of that but it is the fundamental it's certainly the female fundamental female sexual archetype and so what that means this is perhaps what struck struck a chord in your soul is that you were enamored you said of the image of tough guy right and so that would be equivalent in some sense to a desire from the union perspective of incorporation of the Shadow right to make yourself into someone who's capable of being stalwart and tough a James Bond sort of figure that's a good example in the modern age but then you found that that should be allied with a purpose right that and that rescuing of the maiden you know that goes two ways of course the maiden gets rescued by the fact that that dangerous hero rescues the maiden and is therefore attractive to her is also his salvation right and I mean it is the problem that young men have to solve right it's the problem power you know we have we have strength we have power we have uh a kind of sexual power as well and you start to think well you know you if you don't if you don't want to be the bad guy I mean one at some point every young man realizes that nasty guys get more sex and they realize that people who push women around can be very successful and you have to say to yourself is that who I want to be and I very much did not want to be that guy but I did want to be successful with girls and I also I also could perceive just in an actual fact that the world is a corrupt place and it's power that makes it corrupt and Raymond Chandler has his that famous wonderful line down these Mean Streets a man must go who is not himself mean and that just rang a bell inside it's yeah yeah well okay so so on that too so the literature shows so what what the Psychopaths and narcissists the melians and even the sadists do the men is that that the false confidence of the narcissist is a mimicry of competence and that can be put on very early and young women are particularly susceptible to that camouflage and that partly accounts for the differential success of you know bad boys let's say now it's partly because the women are looking for the Beast that can be turned into the Ally but it's not easy for them to distinguish the Beast who is Beast right to the bloody core and should be stayed away from in every possible way from from the potentially redeemable you know Philip Marlo hero and then there's another complication too you know to say something in favor of the more beastly men is that the other thing a woman doesn't want and no men really want to have around either is a man who's actually weak and and unskilled who pretends to be moral and kind you know not only to Cozy up to women but also to parade his weakness as moral virtue you know I'm not the mean guy I'm not the bad guy well the reason for that is you're too goddamn weak to manage that and that and instead of just admitting that forthrightly and doing something about it you parade it as a moral virtue you know and I think that's sort of man is actually a lower form of man than the outright bully and there's some evidence that other people think this too you know because the the kind of antisocial bully types especially in elementary school aren't unpopular they're ambivalently popular now what happens is that as their life progresses if they continue with the bullying attitude let's say that sort of narcissistic and and uh even kellus attitude towards others it doesn't doesn't work well as a long-term strategy but the bullies are certainly more popular in elementary school say and even in junior high than the bully victims are I I think it goes beyond that I mean I think this is why feminism has blown up in women's faes so much is when you outlaw masculinity when you call it toxic when you make people feel bad about their masculinity only Outlaws can be masculine so if you look at the Golden Age of Television we just passed through that lasted about 10 years from about 2020 in 2010 or 15 all of the shows were about bad guys The Sopranos The Shield the wire all about guys who really cut the edge this fellow Andrew Tate who is a a a buffoon and a a pimp and a just a terrible person for a period he was immensely popular especially with teen boys and he would tell people how to abuse women and and how to get them into sex work for your profit and I would look at that and I would say the guys are pimp what are you talking about but they would say well you're not hearing him you're not really understanding him but I think I was I think what they had lost was the idea of St George they had lost the idea that your power is a a path to Virtue it's not an obstacle to Virtue if you use it correctly yeah well you know and to give the devil is Du I mean the thing about Tate is he is a complex character because not all of his brav bravado and posturing is false because he is a mixed martial arts fighter he is a genuinely tough guy and he is also someone who came up from the street you know and so you could imagine that within his soul all sorts of different forces contend and just and I am not making excuses for him because I think the electronic pimping aspect in particular is like I think that's unforgivable it's absolutely 100% unforgivable there's no excuse for ever having done that in your life not even once and it's not even necessarily the kind of sin that you can recover from not not without like 20 years in in serious hangy head repentance but he is a complex figure because allied with his bravado is a genuine physical toughness and it is definitely the case that as you pointed out something I warned about years ago is that you know if you think that like strong men are dangerous you wait till you see what weak men are capable of and if you demonize everything that's positive everything positive that's associated with masculinity you do drive it into the unconscious you drive it underground and then you do get this weird attraction you know like another element of that attraction is who is that s there was a there was a show for a long time about a serial killer who decided Dexter yeah Dexter exactly the same sort of thing right and you see the same sort of thing pop up for example in 50 Shades of Gray which is again an archetypal example of the feminine proclivity for a certain kind of structured [Music] pornography

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Id: MeYNmT0a68I

Length: 8min 1sec (481 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 26 2024