The idea is simple: Run. Hide. If you hear a bump in the night, you better pray it's a monster, because the real demons in this world lurk within the Return to Dream Land modding community. It's a red M&M! What the hell am I? JAYMOJI: Garfield. Whispy the Platypus? DAN: The Kirby modder Mito assembled over 30 mods and sent it to me for Jay and I to play completely blind. [Megalovania plays] Installing them was my first mistake. BOTH: Super Mario 64! DAN: Jay, you're looking like a little snack right now. JAY: This is peak male performance, dude. DAN: Get into my teeth, get into my teeth. JAY: I don't want to get into your teeth! DAN: Why am I doing like the boy pose? JAY: The boy pose? DAN: Yeah yeah, like, put the hands together. Boy. We have a saying on this channel, "You never kill
the first Half-Life scientist in a Kirby game." JAY: Oh yeah, I've actually heard that before.
I've heard that, yeah. The second one, however. DAN: Why do you slice? What do you slice with? JAY: I'll tell you what he slices with! Good lord. JAY: It's a Minecraft sword. DAN: Oh, come on! I can't have the cool, giant blade? JAY: I don't like that they're naked. DAN: Here you go, here's a little donut. [Kissing noise] JAY: Oh my god, dude, did you just kiss me? DAN: What? You've never seen a weird cat making out with an actually anthropomorphic M&M? JAY: I have I just didn't expect to see it in a Nintendo game, jeez. DAN: True, true. That's valid. Alright, get on my head for a little bit. [Both scream] DAN: Who would do that? JAY: I love him, he's my favorite! This is awesome! DAN: That hit me like a truck. JAY: Wait until you get hit by a real truck! DAN: I'm just in the ER, 'Oh wow, this is just like playing Kirby!' DAN: Press down to go through, like, the thing. Look at your little teabag. [Both make noises] DAN: I'm having a stroke. 'Oh wow, this is just like playing Kirby!' JAY: There he is. Get a bigger sword. DAN: Oh wait, I actually just might be able to. Oh, here we go! JAY: Get these guys! Get them! DAN: Gaia! DAN: This feel like a power trip. This feels like just playing act--Oh God! JAY: Send them back to hell where they came from! DAN: Another demon for Beelzebub! JAY: [Laughs] Beelzebub. DAN: Beelzebubsy! DAN: Oh my God! JAY: I'll take the void, thanks. It's a mother and her children. Nature's so beautiful, Dan. [Dan laughs] DAN: I'm gonna watch him just get absorbed. JAY: [Sings] Circle of life! DAN: There he goes. Alright, hold minus. JAY: Alright hold--DAN: Got 'em. You got sucked into my life. JAY: Yes I did, Dan. That's how we became friends. DAN: Who the hell is Dale? [Both make disgusted noise] DAN: Go Bubsy. JAY: Okay. That's not Bubsy. DAN: You're Gooey! This is better! JAY: Alright, this is peak. You're so garbage because you're not me. DAN: Um, now the--Oh, Christ. JAY: Dan. Dan. Do you hear that? [Flinstones music plays] [Dan sings along] DAN: Grandad. JAY: Oh, I shoot little beams, that's cool. You could say it's a JAY: beam attack! DAN: No! What have you done? Now the entire chat knows! JAY: They never stop. DAN: Yeah, I've been dealing with them for a few years now. It's nice to have--JAY: That ginger almost killed you! That's awful. DAN: Hey there. JAY: Just a dude with red hair--[Yells] Watch out, watch out! Get down, Mr. President! JAY: I could--oh my God. I just ate three men at once. DAN: By the way, this is a good time to mention. Jay is like 10,000 subscribers away from half a million. This dude is one of my best and closest friends in the whole world. Jay is so goddamn funny, it would mean the world to me if you could subscribe to him. I promise you, you will not be disappointed. Thank you guys, I appreciate it. JAY: Hang on, let me die real quick. And come back as, uh, the real hero of the day: Dale. DAN: Oh! JAY: What is Dale? DAN: Ew! Is he like a fish? Oh wait! Wait! He's an enemy from-- Oh god, what is it? Uh, yeah that game. Editor put it up. JAY: This guy sucks. DAN: Goodbye, Dale. JAY: What is this? DAN: This is the little bonus section that they put in every Kirby game. I don't know why we were told to go here. It's all very normal. JAY: Who's Hal? DAN: Now what the hell is this? DAN: Oh! JAY: Ooh, Jotaro! DAN: From the Bizarre Adventure! Oh Christ, it's you! CHAT: Jojo. DAN: Yeah, hey there. I can't believe they put the live chat in this game. [Chat talks about beam attack] DAN: Okay, never mind. I gotta kill the chat. JAY: I shoot feathers. DAN: That doesn't look normal. JAY: Does this? Does this look normal, Dan? DAN: No. You look gorgeous. JAY: I know. DAN: God, you look beautiful. Let me grab your hair for a little bit. JAY: That's not necessary, Dan, don't ever say that to me ever again. Get off! JAY: Why is the ceiling pooping? That's gross. DAN: Going into a cave for the first time, 'Why is the ceiling pooping?' DAN: The creatures! I had to make sure I take those ones out before the chat sees them. JAY: Is this, like, ethical forest burning, or like what? DAN: No. JAY: Okay. We're good, just get the hell out of here, dude. DAN: Oh! JAY: Not like that! DAN: The next thing we have on our to-do list is to say hi to our good friend Whisp--sorry! To our good friend Whispy. JAY: Whispy the Platypus! [Both laugh] JAY: What? DAN: No, it's Dedede the Platypus! DAN: Get him! Burn him alive! [Both laugh] JAY: I was not ready for that, dude. [Dan screams] DAN: Oh, run, run! JAY: Help me, please! Help! DAN: Oh, he's chewing you! DAN: It's raining men! JAY: Dan, get 'em! DAN: Ah, help me! JAY: I got you, Dan, hang on. DAN: Oh, thank you. JAY: I did it! I killed him! Yes, yes! DAN: Oh! JAY: He don't look so good. DAN: I hate the frequency of these men. [Jay laughs] DAN: There's just so many of them. JAY: What are you, Twitter? [Both laugh] DAN: Oh God, what is this? Oh, it's Mario! JAY: Apparently. DAN: Super Mario 64! JAY: Sorry, it's ugly! DAN: Uh... DAN: Ugly! It just says ugly. Oh God, is this who I think it is? JAY: What is this? DAN: Ah, there he is! JAY: Beam attack guy! DAN: The beam attack guy, goddammit. JAY: Kill him! Why does he look like you? DAN: [Laughs] Don't say that! Oh God. Alright, chat, you can say it once. [Chat spams the words beam attack] JAY: Dan, look at your name. DAN: What? Woah! Wait, wait. It says chat destroyed! JAY: Ooh, curry! Let me get some of that. DAN: Now we do--uh--fight Mr. Dooter. JAY: Mr. Dooter? DAN: Mr. Dooter. Dude, this dude's awesome. JAY: I'm gonna get that water ability. DAN: Oh! JAY: Yeah, baby! DAN: It's Wooper! [Both make spitting noises at each other. DAN: Oh, I actually got a little bit of acid reflux there. That was awful. DAN: Alright, this is Mr. Dooter. He looks normal. [Dan screams] JAY: Does he? DAN: Yeah! JAY: Does he, though? DAN: There he is, Rayman! JAY: I'm gonna pee on him, I got it. DAN: Box him in! Box him in! JAY: No! My bladder! DAN: My piss! JAY: No, I guess I won't be peeing anytime soon. DAN: Here, here, you can have mine. JAY: Aw, thanks, Dan. I really appreciate it. DAN: He took off his head! DAN: Thank you for the bomb. What the hell is this? Oh goodness! Wait, wait, wait. DAN: Where'd my boom go? Is this the--JAY: I don't know, I couldn't tell you. DAN: Oh am I throwing [vine booms] Oh, that's what's going on! [Vine boom] JAY: We just decapitated him, dude. DAN: Yeah, and you know what? Deserved it. Fight Fatty Puffer. JAY: What did you just call me? DAN: I thought it was still muted. Um? JAY: Is he okay? DAN: Oh no. There's gonna be a lot of people in a lot of different communities that get a lot out of the stream and it seems, uh--JAY: What? Really? DAN: If this is as bad as I think--yeah there he is. Oh God. JAY: Let's get him. DAN: Let's get him. Oh! JAY: Oh God. DAN: Run, run. JAY: Oh my God! DAN: Please! JAY: We are in trouble, dude. We're in big trouble. JAY: Go get him, Dan. That's all you. I'll be over here. DAN: Die, please! Yes! Just pop him and all the air comes out. DAN: I hate here. JAY: I don't like it, Dan, I don't like it at all. DAN: Look at us, we're survivors. JAY: We've been through the worst. [Fart noises] DAN: It's pretty funny, though. That's pretty funny, though. JAY: I know, I know. JAY: I don't like that the M&M is sweating. DAN: Oh yeah, look at it! JAY: In the bottom. JAY: If you pick up an M&M and it's wet and sweating, you have--something's wrong. Wait, what is this pose I'm doing? DAN: What the hell? Stanced up! Excellent! JAY: Away we go! [Screams] Hopefully that doesn't happen again. DAN: Hold on, let me just solve this puzzle real quick. Just gonna go over here. JAY: Okay. [Dan struggles] JAY: Yeah? DAN: No! JAY: Good thing you have multiple attempts and an infinite amount of my time. DAN: Please, please, please. JAY: You're not gonna get it, you're not gonna get it. No, no! Don't give up! JAY: Don't give up! Remember what happened last time you gave up? [Dan sniffles] DAN: Yeah, I lost mom. JAY: Yeah, so don't do that again, idiot. DAN: You killed her! JAY: And I'll do it again. DAN: No, please! JAY: There you go, there you go. Yeah! DAN: Yeah! Alright, so now we're fighting the World Seven boss. DAN: Oh! What the! JAY: You wake up. DAN: It's a Saturday, oh look Fail--oh my God, I hate them all. JAY: Read it! DAN: There's whinin', and there's buggin', some guy desperately pluggin'. JAY: Bars! DAN: There's spammin', and there's swears, they must have just let out the daycare. JAY: Damn, King Dedede is expressing exactly how I feel. DAN: I made a diss track about my chat--JAY: Ohhh-- DAN: like, two years ago. JAY: I remember that. DAN: And, boy, chat really loves whenever I do anything associated with rapping. JAY: That's awe--yeah, 'cause when I look at you, I think 'from the streets.' DAN: Oh, subscribe! JAY: It's Mario! DAN: And... and Failboat! And we're riding Dedede! Oh, oh my God, it's everything on my channel! Oh, what, Among Us? I only played that, like, once. That is just Peter Griffin dead, isn't it? That's a classic Failboat reference. So normally in this level, you do actually fight a boat. JAY: No way. DAN: Oh! That is actually just a normal boat. JAY: It is a normal boat. DAN: It's actually just the normal boat. JAY: Shoot it down. DAN: Hey there, buddy. JAY: He's mad. DAN: Oh he's p'd. Oh he's p'd, but wait until he finds out we're the ones who are gonna be doing the peeing. JAY: Dan, I think you should sit this one out. DAN: I was kinda hoping you were help gonna back me up, Jay. I was really kinda hoping you were gonna back me up with that one. JAY: No, not in a million years. DAN: I kind of threw myself out on a limb and said something cringe. JAY: I'll support you, but. DAN: Kind of sitting in a weird spot for me right now.
JAY: Yeah, is it--is it--you want to talk about it later? DAN: I guess. JAY: I'd rather pee on him. DAN: Yeah, I'm just keep punching him! JAY: I'm getting him, I'm getting him! DAN: Yeah, keep pissing. You're missing all the piss but, you know what? JAY: Don't worry about me, I'll take it from here. DAN: Careful! JAY: I got it. Dan, leave it to me. DAN: Will do. Run, run, run for your life. Run for your actual life. JAY: I got this. Leave this to me. I got it from here. DAN: Hey, you want to look out for the beam. Okay. JAY: It's in good hands, Dan! DAN: [Laughs] You don't have any arms. JAY: Why does he do this? JAY: I'm alive and well. Don't worry, I'm good. I'll come back. DAN: Jay! JAY: I'll use one of your lives. I got it from here. DAN:
Oh, what the hell is that? Magalor 2? DAN: Oh, what the? [Song plays] What the hell is this song? JAY: I'm kind of vibing out to it. JAY: Rats, rats, we are the rats. DAN: I couldn't think of anything more climactic to the ending of a Kirby game than rats. JAY: I can. DAN: Yeah? JAY: That. JAY: I got him. DAN: Nice! Alright! JAY: Dude, you have, like, a lot of health left. DAN: Yeah, man. JAY: Hang on, I got this. DAN: Come on! DAN: Rats. JAY: Game over. DAN: Well, I've been
told there's one more surprise. DAN: What the hell is that? Oh God, we have to fight women. JAY: Are you stupid? We'll lose! DAN: We have no chance! [Dan yells as he's hit] DAN: What? JAY: What is this? So is this supposed to be possible? DAN: Okay, okay. Pause for lore, I've been told. 'Kirby
I'm in your walls. The limitless power of the caffeine fuels me, Kirby. My spleen itches', oh no. 'The skeleton is coming out.' I don't know what that means. JAY: Oh, it's Pride Month. Good for him. DAN: Happy Pride Month, everybody! DAN: No, Jay! No!
