What is the best burn a teacher has given? (r/AskReddit Top Stories)

what is the sickest burn you have seen a teacher give to a student student can we postpone the math test it's on my birthday teacher well unlike your birthday this math test was planned ahead of time ' my high school math teacher had three adopted children he was also the ekend teacher bad move but oh well and one day he was talking about loan repayment etc he used the example of the loans that he'd gotten to pay the adoption costs for his kids and quoted some ridiculously high number I'm also adopted and the number he gave was way higher than what my parents told me it costed to adopt my brother and me I raised my hand and said this and he goes well yeah you were probably on sale I laughed so hard I cried he must have thought I was offended because he felt really bad about it and apologized later he was actually crying when he apologized but I told him it was probably the funniest thing anyone had ever said about me being adopted why did I get an F on this assignment well that was the lowest grade I could give you filing this one away for future reference in history class we are in the middle of an understandably somber section about the Holocaust in concentration camp conditions and one student decides that it'd be the perfect time to fire off a Jewish joke the teacher just turned around slowly and said that's impressive student what's impressive mr. s while here I'm talking about men Joel and Hitler not to mention all of the other Nazis and yet you somehow still managed to be the least likable person in today's class ' the p/e teacher walked into the boys locker room when my friend was given another one gum and asked what drugs are handing their friend their steroids you want some you look like you need them teacher no thanks they don't seem to be working ' what sex ed said sarcastically by a fifteen-year-old in my class science teacher LHH it's fine you won't need it for another 20 to 30 years the class was laughing the rest of the lesson student constantly skips class teacher where's Justin student I can call him if you want teacher do it cause Justin teacher hey Justin where are you when you should be in my class Justin you can tell he's a little freaked out up mcdonald's teacher pick up an application click I hope he doesn't burn the fries too should have gone to the college hamburger University is no lie where they send their managers for training there was a kid in my HS that did it now he owns like five McCurdy's we made fun of him but he's laughing his ass off at all of us now students trying to be intimidating don't get me angry you won't like me when I'm angry teacher nobody likes you anyway ' he tried to act tough using a comic-book line context student has turned in a lousy paper student Achmat I bet you did papers a night before when you were in college prof yeah but I'm smarter than you I've said basically the same thing to my students you can write a paper the night before if you've done all the research and other work basically if you've become smart enough if you're doing research the night before you're [ __ ] usually if I was writing a paper last minute barring instances of just being overloaded with work it would be because I had been struggling to figure out what to do with the information I'd collected my teacher was a bit sarcastic and would often joke with us both of these were about me but all of them 1 what is the difference between gorram reavers and a calendar a calendar has a future to me weeding a Snapple cap the average human dream lasts 30 seconds teacher o gorram reavers you make it too easy me what do you mean teacher if the average human dream only lasts 30 seconds why are you still thinking of going College edit my formatting sucks so I made it suck less Jesus that second one I Wow on my end of year report card that I had to take home to my parents one of my teachers wrote I shall miss goodly under school Awful's cheerful presence in my class as well as his ever more creative excuses for the non production of work I came back the next year after I got an A on the national exam for his class and caught him telling a group of prospective students if Goodley under school or full kinase this course anyone can James get away from that window everyone will think this is a special school hopeful voice special in a good way sir freshmen health in college professor is talking about cardio exercise and wants examples of them some kids blurt out sex to which the professor's replies I don't think I'd consider two minutes of sex a cardiovascular workout no more smartass remarks from that guy 9th grade biology we are learning about how when a sperm meets an egg it creates a cell called a zygote this girl raises her hand to ask so do I have a zygote in me right now he responds I don't know what goes on in your personal life Kelly I had a teacher that would write ouch next to all my wrong answers on a test you seem to be a bit of an intellectual snob your academic performance makes me wonder why hold class gasped student I forget why I'm going to be one of the people running the world by then I'm the future teacher that's like reminding me that I'm going to die only bored oppressing ' a friend and I were visiting my English teacher after class and my friend was showing her a picture of her shoes and making sure they were appropriate for graduation teacher those are fine I just meant don't wear any hooker shoes me aaww I bought the cutest hook issues and now I can't wear them slash teacher know you'll have to save that for your job set my dumb ass up on that one response make better money than teachers at least and probably have to deal with fewer dicks yeah but you have to swallow a lot more than your pride in one job so we are in paint our teacher is new to the school but taught in juvie for a while and had several tattoos so she played around with us but in the end took no crap we are sitting in the bleachers one day and she leans back and undo the hair she always kept it in a bun or something one of the students among the more Audi of us she tolerated him belly then shuts down at her hey miliseconds name here you look better with your hair down she stops looks at him and goes iere why you look better with my eyes closed the bleachers erupted I remember now one time and paying high school the petty chair was kind of a hard-nosed jerk-off but not so bad we couldn't put up with it usually pretty straight-laced too one day he decided for whatever reason that he would allow the girls to skip the day's activity if they wanted now you girls can play too if you want or you can just sit up on the stage every girl went directly to the stage the petty char turned back to the boys remaining and said fastest I've seen the moogle year ' classic gym teacher humor one of my gym teachers used always say rattle rattle here come the cattle when he called us in kid was sticking an eraser in a Bunsen burner with a pair of tongs science teacher told him to stop because the fumes can give you brain cancer then she added on second thoughts it's probably too late for you to worry about that ' students name you're my second favorite student of all time everyone else is tied for first in a sea of rude and offensive comments and this topic this one was actually very clever and funny it's actually a very old joke variations include we took a vote and voted you second best looking everybody else tied for first Jonathan you were one of the babies the Spartans would have thrown down the mountain so I had a friend in HS who wore khaki pants and a collared shirt to school pretty much every day one day he was leaning over some kids desk helping him with something and his ass sticking way out just tempting someone to run over and smack it and another friend James does just that he runs over and lands a perfect incredibly loud slap square on the butt cheeks on him that made him bolt to standing up immediately fortunately for every else in the class except for James it wasn't my friend but the teacher who also wore khakis and colored shirts to school every day everyone goes silent and the teacher turns around bright red but with a big smile on his face and says James save that for after class everyone bursts out laughing and the kid of course never lived it down I had math last period so we usually had the last few minutes to pack up and chill out one girl who would always be on her phone in class calls to order food before she goes to work the teacher took notice and when she had to give her phone number to the place he wrote it down about a week later when she was texting while he was lecturing he just stops goes to his desk and calls her to tell her to get off her phone the look of confusion on her face was priceless I went to a college where we wore military like khaki uniforms for Halloween one year a buddy and I switched uniforms he was a Marine that worked very hard at keeping his uniform absolutely perfect and I was a slacker that warm or baggy versions of the required car key as we went to class one teacher realized the switch looked right at my buddy in my uniform and said you [ __ ] up already you showed up on time good times after a particularly bad group project presentation that basically just failed to touch on anything relevant to the core subject his review as I asked you for a painting you gave me a frame that's a great metaphor no this was not class [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Reddit Cubed

Views: 7,154

Rating: 4.9766083 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, reddit stories, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, askreddit new, askreddit stories, reddit story, askreddit funny, reddit best, funny askreddit, reddit funny, funny reddit stories

Id: Dwlz-4TW5iE

Length: 11min 29sec (689 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 06 2020