What I Love About San Francisco - Ultra Spiritual Life episode 90

I love living in San Francisco it's get the most eclectic personality out of any city you'll ever go to and I don't know where else where you can feel so dirt poor while making a six-figure income it's great the rent in the city is of that bad I paid four thousand a month for my 150 square foot studio apartment I made six roommates also each pay four K a month for their share our place doesn't have any windows or a bathroom but we do have a sink to share and that's probably better than the bathroom it's a great place right in the city we're so lucky to have it it's essential that I'm close to all the action in Silicon Valley it puts me at the edge of innovation right where I belong I'm not in tech though I ran a cold-pressed juice truck where I sell 22 dollar green juices to housewives from the marina who are going from your yoga classes to visit their artistic lovers whether sivan tech husbands are stuck in traffic on their way to the valley so given that this is my demographic it's essential that I'm close to Silicon Valley for business purposes I'm always getting a pour-over a bluebottle coffee if it takes a person less than seven minutes to make my coffee by hand then it simply isn't pretentious enough for me and I'm not gonna drink it I love the local farm-to-table food culture in San Francisco which is ironically a major city that doesn't have any farms in it but I enjoy going to artisan restaurants where the waitstaff insists on telling these stories against my will about where the food came from they take longer for me to listen to than it does for me to eat the food stories about the upbringing of root vegetables and free-range chickens are always riveting they're basically classic tales of the hero's journey last week when I was walking through the Castro on the other side of this street I thought I saw my friends eat or so I yell out Haeju tour is I got closer it turned out to be a guy walking down the street wearing nothing but cowboy boots and a cowboy hat and lots of chest hair he was also not Jew tour at all but he was very passionate about self-expression you gotta walk through the Tenderloin at night it's a Vision Quest to say the least hurtling homeless people stepping in what I unfortunately suspect isn't mud doing my best to not get accidentally injected with mysterious syringes it's a cross between going through a haunted forest and cage fighting roided-out Steve Jobs in other words the Tenderloin has a lot of personality it's charming I'll never forget my first trip to San Francisco I was with my mother now you have to understand my mother and I both enjoy a good Street Fair as a way of getting in touch with local culture so I took her to the fulsome Street Fair naturally we both wore our finest crotchless leather jumpsuits it was a mess from the minute we got there my mother wanted to experience something a little unusual but she was very disappointed with how tame the whole thing was I agreed with her I watched dozens of men inject a saline solution into their scrotums to make him double their normal size as a little disturbed by this I remember thinking put a little heart and soul into this guys where I come from we fill our scrotums until they're at least quadruple the normal size I mean do you want to make a difference in the world or not later on I moved to San Francisco with my then girlfriend we started getting socially ridiculed because we were in a monogamous relationship my frisco friends had never heard of such a thing they practiced polyamorous relationships so my girl and I decided to give it a shot what were the results I think polyamorous relationships are 50% genius and 50% flawed the genius is where I go out and have sex with whoever I want I mean that's just me expressing unbound love and sexual freedom it's like uh neva l'v e to the point that I'm back in the animal kingdom again just in a more evolved way somehow the flood part of polyamory is when my girlfriend would go out and have sex with whoever she wants I mean that's just root chakra consciousness living right there no woman I'm involved with is designed to function that way at a genetic level according to me San Francisco has the best fisting scene out of any city I've ever been in and there is Milan and Paris well easily top three no question about it I just wish the whole town wasn't so sexually restrictive it's like everyone's a little on the puritanical side of the fence aside from that I love San Francisco hey San Francisco just one more thing I'm coming your way to do some comedy shows at Cobbs comedy club in just a few weeks if you want to come out and get weird with me click here to get your tickets I'll see you there

Channel: AwakenWithJP

Views: 316,169

Rating: 4.9458427 out of 5

Keywords: What I Love About San Francisco - Ultra Spiritual Life episode 90, san francisco parody, san francisco funny, san francisco jp sears, jp sears, awakenwithjp, awaken with jp, ultra spiritual, ultra spiritual life, san francisco

Id: RjkvvIOsQYk

Length: 5min 3sec (303 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 08 2018