What Happened to The Mortal Instruments?

The Mortal Instruments has more than 2 million reviews on good reads and while that number is insanely impressive it will only continue to grow because 37,000 people are currently reading it and 900,000 people want to read it but can't because they're illiterate hi I'm Dylan a few years back I had a a blast just talking about the series Fallen which was it this very popular book series that was eventually turned into a blockbuster film that was quietly released on VOD just like buried the release was so quiet that people didn't even know it existed the modal instrument shares a lot of similarities I have half of a scissors I realize now that this makes me look really crazy like if I just had a scissors you'd be like that's weird you had to be like a special sort of like crazy to have half of a scissors it's a bottle it's opens bottles okay this is beer in a movie after all oh my God cheers baby as I was saying the Bal instruments uh it shares a lot of similarities to Fallen a Gothic magical action romance film that was overshadowed largely by the Titan of that era which was Twilight of course now as a man in 2013 who had read no more than one book in the past decade but then suddenly decided he was going to be a writer nonetheless I knew I needed to do a little bit of market research so I read all of the big books of uh of that era I crushed the Twilight series the whole series in like a week I read sun up to sun down that's a that's a that's a Twilight pun kind of The Hunger Games I devoured them the Divergence series I diverged those pages so good I lost it on that last one a little bit there was only one popular series in which I purchased the book but could not finish it and not only could I not finish it I didn't get out of like the first two or three chapters and that book was The Mortal Instruments this bad boy right here this isn't the one I I I recently purchased this one so technically I bought it twice now actually I don't know if I bought it the first time or if I stole it from Walmart that's a story for another time I got to thinking this was back in 2013 that was more than a decade ago I was only 20 years old then I was young dumb and full of questionable opinions many of you have likely read this book and in fact some of you might even be part of the 2 million given that it's been more than a decade I wanted to give this book a a fair chance it's possible that I I just wasn't in the right head space I just picked it up at the wrong time my favorite book series of all time red Rising I I read the first like 60 pages and I put it down cuz I was I was just not feeling it I went back to that after some time and it's now Far and Away my favorite book ever so I need to give this book its Fair Shake by watching the movie and judging that book solely based on the adaptation just how the author intended right this is beer in a movie after all not book in a movie or book in a beer shut up the reason I bought the copy of that book I need to I'm going to have to refer to it later on there was something that happened in the movie that I I just I didn't understand and I needed Clarity so I I purchased the book just to get clarity on that one scene we're going to talk about it later oh and I should mention too before we get into the movie they did reboot the the series into a TV show and we sure as hell are going to talk about that because oh my God I wrote this script in December and uh I I'm not shooting this in June and sometimes when I when I write scripts I'll I'll put in like a little accents to so I know how to say a certain line or I can like do a little funny thing and I I wrote in to do a razzled Dazzle handshake as the end of that line I feel like we should trust December Dylan I think we should do it they also rebooted this into a show which we sure as hell are going to talk about because oh my God R God I hope December Dylan wasn't off cuz that didn't feel right I put it in bold too cuz like I felt good about it when I wrote it what the hell is a r has a handshake why did I think like oh I'm going to know what this means the film did not perform Super well with critics uh and it also lost like a bunch of money like 30 million approximately after you factored marketing costs and uh I kind of came in expecting to rip it apart a bit but I'll be honest being truly honest with you guys I'm being vulnerable right now the film opens up really well here we have Phil Collins's daughter she is on the phone with her friend she's asking the friend what they're going to do this evening what's the move what's in the air tonight any Phil Collins fans in my audience I feel like I just referenced Phil Collins and I thought there's like seven people the main character whose name is Clary she is drawing all these odd symbols and we see her mother Cersei Lannister she notices her daughter with these symbols and we see looks of concern this is concern but we're not stating it all out right they're just sharing looks like uhoh something might be wrong we're picking up on this see bad films they don't trust their audiences they want to dump information on you and sometimes they'll dump it twice like in Fallen which I can't believe they opened with an info dump and then they dump that same info the same exact information 20 minutes later I like this I like this so much more because because it keeps you engaged because the movie is trusting you to be engaged and to keep up with the with what they're you know the subtleties it brought me great spirits to see this and hey critics could you be wrong Clary goes out she meets up with her best friend at a hipster Cafe and the answer is yes yes he is the cliche he is very clearly in love with her and he has no shot at winning her heart I knew this immediately he has glasses he has no tattoos and not even a motorcycle [ __ ] loser boy stood no chance today is not just any day today is clary's birthday I think it's her 18th birthday in the film and I think that's a little bit of a change from the book not that I not that I would know I think in the book if she's 16 but I think they wanted to age up the the movie version of her so she talks to her motorcyclist friend and she's like hey let's you know what we should do we should hit up this club but not a club on any normal nights no no no tonight is bondage night at the club this guy clearly got the memo she sees something very Sinister she sees a m Mur a murder a murder she screams but everyone looks at her like she's crazy because no one else can see it that's because they are all mundanes ew everybody throw up mundanes okay Dylan so we have this girl it's her birthday she's at a club bondage boy is there we talked about him but what's the story about she's seing symbols what's up all right you want to know what the story is about let me tell you the story is about a cup I'm serious but it's like it's a fancy cup a chal a chalice that's what we should call it it's a chalice everyone wants this thing especially the evil organization Cersei knows where the the cup is and there's this really great tension moment where she hears something at the door she just maybe she heard it wrong so she starts kind of creeping towards the door it's this really long buildup as she moves closer to the door she heads up puts her eye to the peephole and then the door flies off the hinges knocking her backwards 5 ft this is awesome this was so good so much tension that was phenomenal I think I like flinched out of excitement or surprised when I first saw that that was amazing two men storm in but Cersei she she's resourceful she grabs a frying pan starts knocking the dudes around like she's Flint Rider o there goes your nuts o there goes your hand and then she sticks his head in the fridge and then AOS smashes his skull with the door of the fridge over and over and over and over and let me tell you if daera has dragons and Cersei was given a fridge I would take Cersei 7 days out of the week she just cleans them up both of them are knocked out she could have just finished the job I mean they are trying to kill her and uh they are a danger to not only her but her entire family but instead she decides to run to the bathroom lock the door and call her daughter and she says daughter Clary do not come home under any circumstance which Clary hears and is like I need to Sprint home as fast as I can right now meanwhile the man with the iron skull who's able to just completely tank four frying shop pans directly to the face combined with six door SLS he double fists the door and he gets inside then we cut to Clary who's just getting home and this is nice she found a dog that's cute Hello puppy hello doggy except here's the problem uh kind of a wind lose situation because the dog isn't a dog it's actually uh like a like an alien meat sack not a dog at all so so Clary starts playing with like the gas stove and like flames and she just explodes that meat sack I can't tell you how much of not happening this is you know what I mean like no you could get like the most technically Savvy veteran in the history of battle and he would not think of what she thought of like run out of the house girl she this is the first time she's ever been confronted with like aliens and demons she didn't know this stuff existed in the first place and instead of running away she's like M no I got this which is a few basic kitchen supplies I can defend myself I wanted to focus on this part of the movie specifically not only because it um is our intro into the worlds but it also was the part where it made me put down this bad boy right here I I read that and I remember just thinking this is all so predictable and weird and I don't like it I will at the end of this recap I'm going to go and reread those first few chapters just to see if I feel the the same way as I used to now that I'm like 20 years old and I'm matured I feel like I have better perspective now than I did when I was younger well let's get back to the movie because the meatsack is not dead okay now now it is thanks mysterious blonde boy he helps Clary a lot because she doesn't know what where to go what to do and he helps her find her parents specifically the father or who I thought was the father at First turns out he's not actually her biological father that's a big surprise later this guy's more just like a surrogate father he has been there with Clary for her entire life he's essentially her father like a like a stepfather she finds him and he is currently being tortured by the frying pan brothers and while they are torturing him brutally he says to them I actually don't like Clary and the mom I've only been pretending to like them because i' I'm also after the cup please believe me so you stop torturing me that's what he says and Clary overhears this and thinks oh my God this thing he's saying right now under dessent torture it must be the truth despite 18 years of evidence otherwise that he actually cares nope he must have been lying to me my entire life she's in a fragile Place mentally I'm going to forgive her for this but I will not forgive this part right here how could look say you didn't care I've known him for as long as I can remember he he used to read me every night he's been picking me up at school for years a lot of action-packed movies suffer from this phenomenon that I'm about to talk about they're so interested in getting to the action that they forget to set up the characters she was in the kitchen earlier with this man they did not speak a word to each other not even a glance it is her birthday by the way not even a hey happy birthday fake daughter du now we can understand how she feels but we cannot feel how she feels show me that they were close show me how deep that trust ran then when you show me the potential betrayal I will feel it as well show don't tell it's a basic rule that I'll talk about so often so many stories get tripped up by it because they just want to sprint out of the gate you can't win the race when you're flat on your face it's a metaphor and a rhyme a rhap for you weren't expecting many rhap for I might have another one or two for you up the up the sleeve here actually I think it was just that one see these things right here right here and right here those are some nice cheekbones he's got and in fact I think they nailed the looking casting he is a very handsome man he's got the face he's got the body type I can't imagine a more perfect visual fit for this role than this guy right here and he's also a good actor there's a butt coming but the boy has no playfulness it's just just not this guy's wheelhouse that's not what he does best and Jace the character he's playing that guy that guy is a rascal he's all about the playfulness and I just it doesn't it doesn't work because the actor delivers it in a way that just feels a little too serious and in fact that doesn't just happen with him it happens with a couple of the actors so just to recap what Clary situation is her mom has been kidnapped she was attacked by an alien demon meatsack thing her surrogate father was being tortured and he said that he doesn't care about her and he never has over the course of her entire life just faking his affection for her since birth it's been like 3 hours she is running off adrenaline and Terror and he has the nerve to say this pleas don't tearing up pieces of shirt to bind my wounds if you wanted me to take my clothes off you should have just asked huh if it wanted me to take my shirt off you should have just said so uh sir yeah have you seen this that is a demon bite I am deeply wounded it is festering I'm about to pass out that sexy little thing you're doing or you're trying to do it's not really helping me much there's a time and a place and I promise you this is not the time for it Clary then wakes up and she finds a massive brand on her arm remember what I was talking about time in a place again this is a day of trauma Pro the far away the worst day of her life maybe one of the worst days in the history of a human race she wakes up and these are the very first words out of out of her mouth passed out and you guys tattooed me that only happened in Vegas her mom is still missing she thinks that her relationship with her father is all a fabricated lie people are trying to kill her and she is now surrounded by a bunch of people she does not know and does not trust yet and she pops out a quip imagine you watch like a family member get bludgeon to death and then the first thing you say is well thank God I didn't know what to get them for Christmas anyways it's like not not the time not the time not the time one thing I'll say about the plots this train does not slow down one they're trying to rescue a man being tortured the next moment we're at a party where a warlock is trying to unlock memories of Clary but uhoh vampires have now kidnapped her nerd friend and now we're at a warehouse and they're fighting the vampires you know the were and the werewolves come the werewolves of course this all happens in like two blinks when were the vampires and werewolves set up right now right like this this is the setup and the werewolves very clearly save the crew like the vampires specifically lured them to this ball room to like overwhelm them and back them into a corner and it almost Works they almost died if it wasn't for the werewolves coming in last minute they would have died there's too many of them and yet after they escape no one says a word about the dogs you would have died if they didn't come why did they come why did they only attack the vampires is no one going to ask any questions no sorry we're too busy falling on top of each other and getting lost in each other's eyes nerd boy wakes up in the infirmary and he realizes he doesn't need to wear glasses anymore his vision's perfect I don't seem to need him anymore so what are you drawing and they're just like huh weird anyway sir why is everybody so amenable to change he was kidnapped and now he has perfect vision none of that makes any sense and they don't question it there's no questioning it he's just like oh yeah that's that's that's side effects of getting kidnapped also he wasn't just kidnapped he was [ __ ] crucified look at this boy they strung his nerd ass up in a shaft with hooks and chains and he just shrugs it off he's like just wakes up the next day like huh what an ordeal anyway what's uh what we what's the plan for today you guys want to grab lunch I'll say something good about the film the uh the horror imagery and uh just I guess the uh the visual effects they look pretty good A lot of the times like this is cool this it's like Gothic and creepy and then there's one scene earlier where uh like there's this really weird guy cross in a graveyard very super were creepy it had like the the hairs on my neck standing up like it was so well done this guy's like leading him through underground tunnels I was I was like o this is like unnerving and that's exactly what they're going for the same thing happens later in the movie as well like Clary comes face to face with like this demon girl and she's creepy they they do it really well but back to nerd boy Jay comes up to the door of the infirmary and he sees Clary sitting on the cot of nerd boy you know cuz they're their childhood best friends and not only are they best friends but those friends have both been through incred rly traumatic things over the past like 48 hours and Jace looks into the room like this cheating [ __ ] her and I have simmering romantic tension and she wants to sit on the hospital C of her recovering best friend like a [ __ ] so he storms out and all of this romantic tension and this pettiness I like it I don't get it fully and this is the reason this is the reason I had to buy the book cuz I didn't I didn't understand what was about to happen so let's break down what happened next okay so Clary and Jace they they share a nice moment they they kiss so Jace walks Clary back to her room and uh he is all horned up he's he's less horned in the movie than he is in the book in the book he is ready for that action he's like hey so now that you're at your room are you um you going to go to sleep or I don't know is there some other activity that you want you would want to do right now or but before she can decide what to do or say the door opens and the best friend and he's waiting inside her room now we are going to break down this scene right here and I will show you where my confusion is next time it might be a nice idea to mention that you already have a man in your bed so we can avoid such uncomfortable situation I think this is a joke but we actually we do know that he's actually pissed right so it's a joke but he's just serious a little bit maybe invited him to bed I know it's ridiculous isn't it we would never have all fit okay that's funny right his cheeky lines are actually funny and I think he's going to be way funnier in the book but I think the the actor of all the cheeky lines I think he pulls that one off best I had to rewind because he was a little too British for me in that moment I had to I had to hear it twice to make sure I was able to pick it up he said it's ridiculous we'd never have all fit in the bed together as if they would all sleep together funny so he's he's joking right all of this is just a big joke we were just kissing how swiftly you dismiss our love how swiftly you dismiss our love again humorous good joke Jay so I think we've come to the conclusion he is not UPS said at all he is just making jokes go ahead go after him go apologize to him go tell him just how special he really is the [ __ ] so he is upset she says like stop acting like nothing ever hurts you and then he makes a petty comment about the kiss not even being that good [ __ ] Dorito breath over here and he storms off I needed to know how he felt I understand using humor to deflect from your real emotions but at the balance just felt off and I didn't I didn't understand so I I made the purchase I had to consult the ancient texts and I let me tell you something let me tell you something magical that happened this is going to mean almost nothing to you I didn't know where in the book like that scene would take place but so I Googled it I think I Googled like when do Jason Clary kiss chapter 17 came up so I thought okay great I opened up to a random page and it was chapter 17 exactly to the P like it was it was chapter 17 that was the first time I ever opened up the book I know that means nothing to you but I like you don't understand that I sat there for several minutes p pondering fate pondering magic was I magical and I know you mundanes wouldn't understand but I was special I am special that's not why did I say that in the past tense I'm realizing right now I'm going to have to do it again just to prove to you that it wasn't a coincidence and I'm a little bit nervous that I'm not going to be able to but I here we go I'm going to do it I don't have the pages marked at all [Music] ready my hand SLI a little bit let me try again [Music] where the chapters are there any chapters in this [ __ ] book where the [ __ ] CH I can't I haven't found a single [ __ ] chapter page oh my God does this [ __ ] book have chapters that's 14 Jesus Christ I knew found it chapter 17 for those of you that have this book if you can open up to chapter 17 first try you might be special like me there is a line from the book that I would like to share and some of you thought maybe I was being a little bit hard on Simon so far in this uh in this video I realized I think this is the first time I've used his name nerd boy Simon now that he's lost some of his nerdy attributes I feel like we can name him properly but get this so this is from when Simon opens the door Simon what are you I mean I thought you were asleep I was he said the tops of his cheekbones had flushed dark red through his tan then I woke up and you were't there so I thought clar couldn't think of a thing to say why hadn't it occurred to her her that this might happen why hadn't she said they should go to Chase's room the answer was as simple as it was awful she had forgotten about Simon completely she had forgotten about Simon completely man if you just had a freaking motorcycle we could have avoided this whole thing my guy but reading through that scene it mostly plays out in the movie like it does in the book there was one extra little bit that I think helped clarify it to uh to a little bit of a higher degree for me I'm sorry she said Clary not sure who she was even speaking to out of the corner of her eye she thought she saw Jace shoot her a look of white hot rage but when she glanced at him he looked as he always did easy confident slightly bored in future Clarissa he said it might be wise to mention that you already have a man in your B to avoid such tedious situations you invited him into bed Simon demanded looking shaken ridiculous isn't it said Jace we would never have all fished that's so funny that's a good line the scene reads really well and I think it it plays really well as well how many times can I say well in a sentence the takeaway from the the passage that I read is I think Jace has jealousy issues he's a teenager I think in the book He's also 16 or 17 so you know he's going through it so seeing that she already has a guy in his room and thinking that he might you know get all action that night I think it upset him and I think he's using humor to cover up his emotions what's that like Simon I feel bad for the guy I really do because not only not only does he get rejected but this man has been kidnapped and crucified by vampires and now he has to watch as the girl that he's loved Paul's in love with a man who is way cooler than him so he knows it's going to fail but he takes his shot anyways I'm in love with you and it's clear that you don't feel the same way he doesn't even wait for her response because he knows what the response is going to be he knows she doesn't feel the same way how could she he doesn't even have a motorcycle he's probably on a scooter he probably has a vesa I wouldn't be surprised and then my man who has been beaten so severely he can't walk properly so he just has to swiftly limp away I let me tell you this let me tell you never swiftly limp away you will lose all power no one will ever respect you it's one of those ick things where it's like that doesn't seem fair to have it because of that but I I felt it if you ever confess your love get rejected and then limp away you will never you will never escape the friend zone you might be demoted from the friend zone into the acquaintance Zone Clary discovers something very important she has an ability that only she and her mother have she can put objects into drawings and then also remove them from drawings and once she discovers that she has the ability and her mom also had the ability she knows exactly where the the Chalice is I almost called it a cup it's it's not it's a chalice this is a high-end production we don't have cups that we're chasing we have chales this is clary's downstairs neighbor and she knows that the cup is with her now this woman forces Jace to leave all of his Weaponry outside of her apartment because she has a weapon-free apartment or whatever I don't this is a peaceful house jaay is a little suspicious of the situation as was I now here's a little World building of uh of the Mortal Instruments you know Buck the uh the famous composer musician guy he was a shadow Hunter who actually used music to fight demons I am serious I will not make fun of that you thought I was going to say something I'm not nope you can have it when certain musical notes are played demons react negatively like there's like certain Melodies that they really don't like it's kind of like one way to to flush demons out Jace literally just went over this information with Clary the day before like so it's fresh on not only our minds but it's fresh on their minds as well so Clary starts stting through I think they're called tet cards the Chalice was inside one of the the tret cards Jay starts playing on the piano and he's hitting notes and the woman starts twitching seems like seems like she doesn't like the notes that are being played and do you remember a while back when I talked about how demons don't like certain notes it was kind of a while back you might have forgotten already but it seems like hey she might be a demon and you know what all of his weapons were left outside uhoh so tell me why this [ __ ] with the good cheekbones right here doesn't stop Clary doesn't say hey Clary hang tight a second don't pull the Chalice out quite yet we need to figure something out quick he is an experienced Shadow Hunter and instead of calling for backup who by the way are just upstairs instead of going and getting his weapons instead he just keeps playing notes and watching the demon react and when she finally reveals herself to be a demon what is this shock surprise befuddlement was he not playing the notes on the piano to see her reaction or was he just playing for the Ambiance the piano thing doesn't happen in the book I checked because it was like such a huge plot hole to me like you showed us in the movie every scene should have some sort of purpose and giving the backstory of being like hey demons don't like certain notes and then the next scene he's playing notes demon doesn't like it he literally is watching her spasm and he's like oh no I think everything's fine let me just keep playing these notes he gets caught unawares is smacked up and knocked out this could have went so poorly because the demon takes out everybody and in fact it impales one of Jace's friends not just one of his friends his best friends nearly kills him but much like clary's Mom who could have just like when when she knocked out the enemies she could have just like one tapped them killed them instead she just left them the demon does the same thing where the demon just leaves everybody alive and then they just get lucky that Simon I almost called him nerd he's not a nerd no glasses I have glasses say I'm not a nerd I got the nose ring so it it it offsets it don't worry but he comes in he was not expected here the demon almost escaped with a cup The Chalice not a cup okay so they are successful in their mission by pure coincidence and luck and also one of them has a grievous injury okay so it's not like a complete success luckily for Clary who pulled out the Chalice in front of someone she vaguely trusts and it immediately backfiring on her she then about an hour later goes to a guy who she vaguely trusts pulls out the Chalice in front of him and as immediately betrayed girl learn learn a lesson the horrible thing about this movie is like everybody that Clary is wary of is her friend and everyone who Clary trusts inexplicably betrays her it's like she has like the worst intuition on who to trust so like this guy here who's like the leader of their base I don't know how to describe the situation he's like the head guy of their thing the shadow Hunter organization that uh that Jace works for he betrays Clary with the cup the chalice and he uses this portal thing to summon the big bad all right his name is Valentine I don't know how you guys feel about this reveal I was into it this guy turns out he is actually clary's real father I think a lot of people are like oh I saw that coming but I I was into it I liked it clar manages to to get the Chalice back into a drawing and remember she and her mother are the only ones who can get it out so Valentine is pissed and then meanwhile Clary while he's distracted she escapes through the portal this all played out super well I thought this was it was really good and I want to highlight it so you remember the guy's after the cup so he's focused on the cup meanwhile Clary uses that distraction to get away I wanted to just make that clear for later I'm going to talk about it this is when Clary meets the demon girl I talked about the imagery before werewolf saves her again turns out the werewolf is actually the surrogate father he was a werewolf this entire time that's why the werewolves were helping Clary in the gang it's a wolf thing now after saving Clary twice now plus the 18 years of evidence that he cared about her Clary is still not convinced that he cares about her this is the second time he has saved her life in the last week oh hey hey you want another twist this man who is clary's Father turns out he might also be Jace's father oh we got a little cess but they kissed before they kissed thank God Simon was in that room cuz jce was horned up and ready to go I don't know what clary's decision would have been but that could have got really bad really fast now I will say I think in the books I I of course I haven't read so I don't know but it seemed in my little bit of research foray into the topic it seems the books really they don't answer it because it's like uh it's up in the air like you don't really know but check out this thing Jay says at the end of the movie look clar I don't believe it it doesn't feel like the truth not in my heart I'm going to be honest my guy your heart really doesn't get a say here that's not going to play a role the the DNA is going to play the major role here in my heart I don't think you're my sister so even if you are my heart just won't accept accept it when our babies have web fingers only then will I accept it and maybe not even then because of my heart now I said in the books it it seems like it's up in the air but in the movies it feels like they're really they don't want to gross out anybody they're not really ready to take that risk so the these two people have a conversation where they're like we got to lie to them they're vague about what they're lying about so it's still it's still kind of up in the air but it seems like they're talking about lying about them being siblings which I'm like I don't know it's it's gross but it it's also like oh my God I got to know like I had to go research it I think the movie should have just took that risk and not like revealed it right then but don't you worry if you thought oh there's no CEST dang it do not worry because I'm going to talk about the book a little bit later and what happens in the future and you're in for a sesty surprise the surate dad calls up his werewolf biker gang and he's like you know what guys let's go kick some ass and they hop onto their motorcycles and into their school bus [Music] why and then they get attacked and they're almost all wiped out immediately and it's like oh no not the guys I just met four minutes ago for the first time like we don't even know their motivations for helping we don't know where they got the school bus from we don't even know why they're whar roles or there's there's nothing there that is you have as much information as me if you have not seen the movie the fight scenes of the movie are are pretty good I'm going to say that I do want to give the the movie credit for for doing fight scenes and making them engaging even like the the smoke demons I usually wouldn't be into something like this but this looks pretty good although a negative I'm going to talk about a negative the amount of times a character holds a knife to another character's throat I think it's like four four different times someone's like ah I could kill you right now and then they never do except this one time oh my God one of the frying pan Brothers his brain might be CTE from the frying pan shots so I maybe I'll forgive it a little bit but he has the the werewolf the surrogate Father Dad he has him wounded cornered and he he could just kill him easily right now but instead he's like taunting him he's like oh yeah I want you to turn into a werewolf I I want it right now and then he gets really close he puts his jugular right near the werewolf and then the werewolf bites the jugular and kills him like there is no reason for that man to win the fight the only reason he won that fight is because the script needed him to like there's no logic to the fights kind of like the uh the piano demon before with Jace the worst example of this is like Valentine absolutely handles both Clary and Jace he's an adult and he is like the head of an organization he's he's super combat ready so Clary does the smart thing and remember what I talked about before she leveraged you know she she had the cup the ability to put that into a drawing and then using that distraction she escaped out through the portal she came back now and now we're doing another fight sequence and she again is holding the cup for ransom and this big blue portal here this is dangerous to go through you're not you're not supposed to go through it unprepared it's kind of vague I'm sure in the book it's a little bit more more explained in the movie it's just like don't go through this portal unprepared I'm out Valentine is incredibly competent yet somehow he's like lured in front of the portal by Clary and she like kicks him in the chest and knocks him into the I just I didn't buy it like Valentine was so prepared with everything he's super aware he would not be tricked and lured and kicked like he no no I finished my drink and I have two hands and now that I've been holding the drink the entire time I don't know what to do with both of my hands all in all I think it was a good film that had a 133% on Rotten Tomatoes uh I I feel like it was better than that far better in fact 13 percentage is like saved for like really bad films I think it was a middleof the road film in a lot of regards most performances were okay some were good some were bad I think one thing they could have done is uh slow down the pacing a little bit maybe remove some of the elements we don't need the werewolves the werewolves ended up being nothing the vampires Al they were so inconsequential to the whole plot like they just kidnapped the guy I don't even remember the reason for it and despite the the odd thing is despite the fact that the film not only bombed critically and it also lost money financially the producers of the film still pushed really hard the studio wanted to make the sequel alas it couldn't be justified so they ended up cancelling only for it to be rebooted a few years later with a TV show called Shadow Hunters it aired on free form free form what is that I don't know apparently free form is what ABC family used to be it was rebranded to aim at girls who were between the ages of 14 and 34 because that age group of women is called becomers because if you're under 35 years old you're not really a real woman yet you're becoming one so hang in there I have oddly enough just kind of heard positive things said about the show so I was a little not not I wouldn't say excited but I wasn't dreading going in and watching the uh the first episode but dread came soon enough this show is so goddamn awful I'm sorry to everybody who likes it maybe you're you're in that demographic maybe you're a becomer I I have become I am already so I don't like it I think the show was 2016 so maybe watching it now in 2024 it's not the most Fair viewing because there's so much good television readily available so with so much good television available I don't want to put up with like poorly made television there's no creativity to this directing it's very by the numbers using what we know from this movie we're just going to assume this guy is a shadow Hunter right he is invisible to the human eye shadow Hunters cannot be seen by mundanes that's what you guys are not me though I'm special even though that seemed like I wasn't when I did this chapter thing I just pretended like I couldn't find it because I didn't want you guys to call the shadow police or whatever it seems like I'm making that up now I'm not I'm special this man must must be the shadow Hunter's Target so we crane the camera up and oh my God maybe free form you could become a network with a budget I looked it up cuz I genuinely didn't know I I wanted to know what the price of wigs were cuz like this thing I thought was like 30 bucks have you won wigs a good wig is like $1 to $33,000 when you're making a TV show that is going to be seen by millions of people you can invest well I guess it did air on free form when you're making a TV show that's going to be seen by possibly tens of people you still want to invest money into your props she then jumps and we do this really terrible thing when you don't want to invest on um on special effects you just do the closeup on the feet I've seen that a million times in a bunch of low production things I hate it and then they do the same thing again here Simon and Clary in the cafe we remember remember that clarry had the ability to put stuff into drawings and then remove things from drawings she's about to put this bread into a dra accidentally they could have did this in the subtle way where you had to like really be kind of paying attention to it but instead no thank you we're going to make it super obvious closeup on her putting the bread down then talking about like Oh I thought I had bread no bread I guess the bread is gone now I just have drawing of bread cut to her surprise reaction where did my bread go God I hated that so much the camera work made me feel like I was watching Dora the explore my bread is gone did you see where my bread went it was here I put put it down and it's not here anymore can you locate the bread just listen to this Hallmark Christmas movie ass delivery Simon how can someone as smart and perceptive as you not realize that the person sitting right there is in love with you can't do it can't do it this is my limit I was out at this point I'm out I can't watch anymore I will say that the show has a one incredibly funny moments unfortunately for the show it was a behind thes scenes moment and one of the characters was saying the esler maybe I should go to New Zealand yo what's up what's up what stop stop why live what I'm speaking to all of you today to hold myself accountable since I promise you guys I will let you know the sibling thing the cesy thing jaay and Clary are not siblings but Clary does indeed have a brother and that brother does make a move on Clary they share a kiss yay some sess apparently based on the summary that I read Clary was uh was not into the kiss and she felt like it was a little wrong that is my review of The Mortal Instruments and also a little bit on the show I feel I feel like I've just delivered a 10th grade book report on a book I did not read did I do a good job did I do a good job you now have the opportunity to share your thoughts on either the Mortal Instruments the movie or the book actually I said I was going to read the first two chapters I scripted scripted saying that I was going to read the first two chapters and I uh I did not should I should I just quickly chapter 17 should I try that again I just saw thrusting I just saw thrusting something thrusting what page was the thrusting on [Music] yeah okay okay reading a little bit now I'm like I think I was just in it was a headp space thing I think I might enjoy this actually so I'll probably give this a read the very next beer in the movie will be the office and that's going to be a long time probably at the beginning of next year I'll probably spend I usually take January off but I think next year I'm going to use January to to work on the office be in the movie so thank you for watching I appreciate you stopping by and and uh I'll see you guys in the next one toles [Music]

Channel: Dylan Is In Trouble

Views: 588,873

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Id: B_mEap8Rrpk

Length: 40min 8sec (2408 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 25 2024