We've Gone Through 2 Bankruptcies And Still Can't Control Our Behavior

Kellie's with us in Springfield Mass hey Kelly how are you I'm great how are you Dave better than I deserve what's up okay so I've read all your books and I took your SPU class and I fully have your 20% head knowledge I cannot get the behavior down what do I do how old are you 34 okay are you single I'm married okay um is your husband on board with these ideas I finally got him on board the son where with your plans and we're trying to do it together where we put our money for the first time together since we've been married and that's been 11 years that's good okay so um when you say you can't do the behavior what is it that you can't do um we still we're like complete both free spirits we eat out all the time we spend money on things that we probably shouldn't we love going to flea market fun we've done so we've done so much better we've come a long way but we still keep messing up um I agree with one thing in your plan but then he disagrees with something on your plan but we fight about it and then you know he ones $100 a week for pocket cash and he says well I worked two jobs I deserve it we're still doing that call the wambulance she works hard poor little boy he works hard that's sweet like the rest of us don't give me a break seriously man um well here's the thing you guys are I've got to decide why you're doing this why are you why are you trying to get control of your money we are I'm 34 he's 36 and we filed bankruptcy twice in our lives already we're trying to avoid doing it again okay so so if you don't file bankruptcy what would be the benefit what is it that happens in your life that's good I finally get control of my money yeah so for what why um you know I've never had control my family's never had control why do you want control of your money what are you gonna do with it I just want a savings account why are you going to do with it nothing that's the plan that's the problem this is why you can't stop changing your behaviors because you don't have any why you're why is so vague you need to write down we want to change our family tree I don't want my children to grow up and be stupid like I have been that's what I wrote down when I went broke because I was stupid when American Express called my wife and asked her why she would stay with a man they wouldn't pay his bills I swore that day I would never have another phone conversation with American Express unless it was a wrong number you got it I got it I was done why because I didn't want to be back there ever again I'm gonna change my family tree we're never gonna be here again and see you you think you know somehow you're playing with us like it's an intellectual game it's got to get visceral for you and for him and then he'll quit whining about the fact that he works you follow me I thought cuz I work I work too but I don't need to work anymore but I work I work like a crazy person because I love what I do and because I'm working for bigger goals than just money nowadays and so you know you just got to have a why and why I work is not $100 pocket money because I work hard why I work is because I want to hit some goals I don't ever want to be here again ever ever and we're going to change our family tree and and then you need to write down in detail using every dollar online get your detailed budget and then the two of you look at that and go this is what we're doing and I didn't see flea markets on there this is what we're doing we're not doing anything that's not on this list this is what we're doing with our money and and then when one of you starts acting like you're four years old again and and whining then you don't know we're being grown-ups adults devise a plan and follow it children do what feels good these are the kinds of conversations I had to have with me I'm not fussing at you Kelly but this is me looking in the mirror at Dave going look you idiot you got to change your life and we drew a line the same we said that's it never again never again and he's got to have that same trip take that same trip with you because right now you're just babysitting a child I think we're both children beyond it well we all are I am too down inside of me I mean how can I can impulse or see something I like or you know get out of control or or get a goal that I think is bigger than the amount of money that I have all of us have that ability and so this is about you know appealing to the but you also have an adult side to you and adults devise a plan and follow it children do what feels good and so you got to look around go you know this freakin ain't work and it's a dr. Phil moment how is it working for you you know it's not right and so you know we've had two bankruptcies we fight about money we are not winning we're not getting traction something's got to change here and you've got to have that I've had it moment and then look clearly into the future and say hey I want to be I want to have this house paid off and on my house free and clear by X date I want to have this debt that we've got cleared up by X date and start setting some detailed goals with numbers and then when you say hey I want to go out to eat you go well we really can't because we're trying to get the house paid off by X date we're trying to get this cut because we want to change our lives you got to have a big enough thing that's bigger than the going out to eat because that what's happening is that your impulses aren't as big as your nobility you got to get your nobility bigger so that your impulses shrink and in the sight of your nobility usually what I'm talking about I do and and that that's an emotional maturity thing and you can choose that you can just decide just like that I just decided and and he can decide just like that and and and yeah he works hard I want him to have something for it and 100 bucks a week depending on your household income 100 bucks a month pocket money's not a big deal depending on your household income that might not keep you from hitting your goals but the fact that he says all I work hard I deserve money I mean that's just--that's that's an indicator where you guys are so you've got to look out there and look for something that's big a big hairy audacious goal of be hag it's what jim collins calls it and when you got a b hag you will do anything and it's like I saw a bumper sticker the down a car said nothing tastes as good as it feels to be thin and then you go look it's just more fun to be thin than it is to be cramming food in my mouth all the time I had a friend of mine lost 38 pounds of summer and he you know I was talking to him about it he said you know I just realized that nobody sneaks into my bedroom at night duct-tapes me to the bed and feeds force-feed me chocolate chip cookies because I'm a victim not of anything except my own inability to control me self-discipline it's hard though I agree Kelly it's hard all I can tell you is it's worth it and you got to do it you got to do it so you call me back tell me how you're doing I love to hear from you thanks for calling in hey guys Rachael Cruz here hope you enjoyed that video from the Dave Ramsey show if you want to watch another great video check out my video three things you should consider renting right over here or click the link in the description below

Channel: The Dave Ramsey Show

Views: 313,195

Rating: 4.880105 out of 5

Keywords: we've gone through 2 bankruptcies and still can't control our behavior, dave ramsey live, dave ramsey, dave ramsey show, debt free scream, dave ramsey debt free scream, dave ramsey live stream, decision making, psychology

Id: 9N7Hglpze1A

Length: 8min 23sec (503 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 12 2016