Weakness is a Choice | Logic & Life Coaching Podcast

welcome to the logic and life coaching podcast episode 33. everyone wants happiness and success and we know how to get you there come listen to the leadership society of arizona as we teach a proven logic to help you simplify life overcome challenges and predict the future you're listening to the logic and life coaching podcast [Music] welcome welcome welcome to the logic and life coaching podcast my name is chuck salonis and i'm joined by dr jacob hashiwagi our very very special guest but thanks for having me on chuck appreciate it dr jacob as always we are going to ask you another question and this question is something that i've had trouble explaining to other people after going through the class i wanted to be able to explain why the weaknesses that we see in other people are the weaknesses that we have ourselves and i i've had a difficult time explaining that and uh people like my mother-in-law was like well if i see a smoker it doesn't mean that i'm a smoker that's not my weakness and so i wanted to know what is the way that you can explain this concept of that the weaknesses that we see in others are the weaknesses that we have ourselves so why do you believe that the weaknesses that we see in others are the weaknesses that we have ourselves okay because it's natural law that's what you should tell people this works this is the reason because it's reality and if they don't believe you then you can show them many studies that show this okay and they still don't believe you give me some examples i don't know there's a lot of different studies that show that what you see in the world is what your reality is you know okay but i know what you're asking you're trying to explain this to somebody and it's the why why that's the case well this is probably not the most um easy thing to explain but let's see if we can simplify this first we gotta identify weakness well what is a weakness are you asking me or is this a rhetorical question no you can respond okay so a weakness i would think is something that you it could be like something that you don't do to an expert level so for example if your weakness is paining then you would say i'm i'm not really an expert painter it's kind of in my rolodex of skills i probably am on the lowest end of the spectrum on that skill so that's considered a weakness versus my other skills in comparison on the expert level so with the weakness there's a couple things to remember one is it's relative okay relative meaning depending on who you're comparing yourself with depends on if something's a weakness or not for example i'm born in an asian family everyone's really good at math but i'm not the best at math that's a weakness but in reality if i compared my math skill to maybe the majority of the population that might not be one of my weaknesses i might be a lot better at math than most other people right this makes sense so a weakness is one it's relative to who you're comparing yourself with the other thing is it's as he says subjective meaning it's something that you identify as something that's not the best for example you could say my weakness is i work too much because maybe i don't know maybe you're my wife or maybe you're someone who is competing against or not competing against me is someone who like wants my attention more jacob i'm not your wife i just no thank you got it no but um so it it's like if you're someone who wants my time and i'm always working then you might say well that's your weakness is your weakness is you spend too much time working and um other people might say whoa that's a strength you work so much you get a lot done maybe someone who is part of my you know office staff or whatnot then they'll be like whoa he's really amazing and works a lot right so weakness is two things subjective and it's relative both of these things are things that come from your perception of reality of life so you need to realize that because you don't have all the information and you can't see 100 reality when you make a judgment of someone's weakness then you're using your personal bias you're not it's not like a fact it's just what you think it's what you're looking at it's how you feel about the situation does that make sense kind of it it makes some sense it is a subjective view on some one else's rolodex of skills if their expert not expert weakness now whenever something is a judgment that goes off of your perception of what's going on well this is much like um the best way i can put it is like those ink dot pictures you know you got that big block blotch of ink on a page and psychologists will have people look at it and everybody will see something different you know some person will see a ghost and some person will see i don't know like uh i don't know two turtle doves or something like that you know whatever whatever it might be but everyone sees something a little bit different but based upon what you see the psychologist can figure out what's in your mind because everyone is focusing on a different thing in reality whatever is on their mind and this is as much same thing as we like go look at the world for example if you go to the beach you could go with a group of friends and some of your friends might be looking at all the girls on the beach and some of the people might be looking at all the guys on the beach and some people might be trying to look for the nearest like hot dog food stamp vendor you know some people might be looking at the water and just wanting to you know listen to the waves and whatnot but everybody in life based upon who they are is focused on something in life this makes sense yep when you go walking down the street you don't see everyone you only see the people you're interested in and if that's the case this is the same way with looking at weakness hence when you look at other people you don't notice everything about the person you only notice the things that you're focused on and so when you're looking at other people's weaknesses so for example if i'm looking at someone smoking a cigarette that's not necessarily me saying that's a weakness right that i i see a lot of people doing a lot of things but when i say hey that person has this weakness oftentimes the reason why we point out that weakness so quickly is because it's something we're focused on is one of our perceptions on what we feel is a weakness and usually the reason we feel it's a weakness is also the reason why we feel we have that weakness as well does this make sense not in that example could you clarify so what i'm looking at a person yes and i noticed that this person like i don't know this person chews really loudly chewing is one thing so if if you're chewing really loudly but saying that if you see a smoker and you say i don't smoke so i don't have that weakness so how can i how can i make the jump between it's not almost like habit or the action but so my question is well when you're looking at a smoker and you're saying that's a weakness well what are you saying is a weakness um the addiction ah the addiction you might not be smoking but you might be addicted or do certain things that are bad habit in another way could be eating a lot of sugar it could be doing something but the reason you're focused on the addiction part of this person is because that's something that you've seen in your own life in some way that's something you feel is not a good thing and that's why you point that weakness out so for example some people could look at that smoker and they might not even notice him smoking they might be thinking that person has really long hair that's the weakness that that person doesn't groom himself better it could be that you have an issue you know yourself with you know you don't feel like you dress well enough or you don't feel like you groom yourself going up it might not even be that you have long hair right does this make sense okay so it's an aspect of whatever you're looking at that really is identifying the weakness within you yes it's the idea behind why you're even pointing it out in the first place see if you didn't think there's an issue or if you if you weren't disturbed by what someone was doing then you wouldn't even point it out but there's a reason why you don't like certain things in people there's a reason why you're focused on it and inherently on why you don't like that in other people you also don't like that and who probably yourself you got it because if you didn't mind it in yourself then you would what you wouldn't notice it yeah you wouldn't point it out or mind it in other people did this make sense so you're saying that if you're like uh we'll bring up this example again uh if you're pointing out bullies so this person is bullying or this is an abuser um i i hate that person i hate this abuser i hate this bully um so what is what does that say about you um based off of this logic so when you're looking at someone else bullying someone well it tells you that you don't like it when people are aggressive and you don't like it when people are trying to force other people or intimidate other people to do things okay so you're identi you're focused on a certain thing in life right sure yeah something you don't like something you think is bad sure well if you see someone else doing something and you feel that's bad do you think you're going to feel bad when you do it probably hence you think it's the weakness in yourself so it's not saying that i'm actively doing that but it is something that if i was doing that i would feel very strongly against well it's something that you feel very bad about yourself when you do and you feel it's a bad thing so it is something that i would do but it's oh definitely actively recognizing definitely everybody has every single weakness in life it's just to what degree right just because i'm saying that what you the weakness you see in other people is a weakness you have in yourself i'm not necessarily saying that it's to a big degree or a large degree so for example when i see someone smoking and they're really addicted to cigarettes i also will probably have that weakness as well if i'm pointing it out in someone else mine could be chocolate or whatever it might be right or maybe like i don't know like water i'm really addicted to water it's the only thing i drink by the way but not as strong of a an addiction right but it doesn't matter how how bad it is or how good it is it matters that i when i look at every time i drink water it matters that in my mind i think man i should stop being addicted to water you know that example is just so so out but even though that example is ridiculous you know what i mean what i mean is just because um a weakness is something that's subjective and it's relative so i might not some people might say you don't even have an addiction to water that's not a weakness but in my mind if i'm looking at people and i'm saying in my mind being addicted to things is bad and i feel like i'm addicted to water then it's a weakness it just makes sense so it's it's just your reality it doesn't necessarily have to be based in truth it's just what you perceive well it is the truth because weakness is subjective okay it might not be what everybody else is seeing but it's what you're seeing it's what you don't like about yourself it's what you don't like about other people right it's not necessarily saying it's bad or good it's just saying that when you see and you're focused on certain things about other people you can take it to the bank that when you don't like it in other people you don't like it in you and you're probably doing it in some way it might not be to the degree in other people but it will be in some way for example bullying yeah you might not be like going out and and throwing people against the wall and threatening to you know i don't know to like take their money i don't beat them up if they don't give you their lunch money or something like that right you might not be doing that but you might be threatening your kids every day saying hey if you don't stop screaming then i'm not going to give you your dessert or i'm going to keep you in your room forever right you know there's all sorts of ways that bowling can come out that some people might not even consider that's bowling some people might consider that just good discipline right but it doesn't matter what other people think it matters what you're subjectively saying about other people and about yourself does this make sense yeah okay one last example i um so if i see injustice for example i um if i see injustice in the world or if i see unfairness happen like oh that person doesn't deserve that or this i should have gotten this or something like that you know if i i see that outside um that's saying the weakness that that anger that emotion that's coming up that is getting upset about this particular issue is really because i have a problem with fairness in my own life if you if you look out at the world and you see people being cheated take it to the bank 100 you believe you're being cheated in your own life in some way that you can point out instances in your own life where you feel that you didn't get what you deserved okay so what's the remedy how do you fix that oh i got some good ones for you okay so the first thing here is one the first thing you can try is to fix this whatever you're looking at believe it first thing is believe that what you see in other people is what you see in yourself and if you don't then go research it in research research it look at it like if if you don't believe that the weakness you see in other people's weakness you've seen yourself go research it go look at psychologists and what they found and how they found that what people see in the world is exactly how they actually act and believe in their own life okay so you're you're saying actually look at studies scientific studies not like look at your own life look at the scientific research behind it yes okay second use it identify the weakness that you see in others so that you can learn what you're thinking is a weakness in yourself you see how i like turn that around on you okay oftentimes when you look at the weakness in other people you're like no that can't be a weakness in myself and then it doesn't help you but if you use it for your good then you say oh these are weaknesses that i see in everybody else i'm going to now take that learn about my own weakness and i'm going to improve myself now oh everyone when they start looking out at the people in their life you're gonna see weaknesses and you track those and then use it to improve yourself got it okay third talk to people about it talk to everyone you can find the more you talk about it and the more you listen to other people the more you're going to figure it out the fourth talk to a mentor hopefully you have one by now yes jacob um i uh no so that third third one um i just want a little more clarification on so the you say talk with people so you say these are my weaknesses what do you think well no you can just talk to people about the idea talk to people you could talk to people about what you feel your weaknesses are or what you see in other people and and ask people hey is this something you also see myself or you know whatever it might be it might help you overcome it you know they might say no chuck that's not one of your weaknesses you're good you don't have to worry about it and then you'll be like oh that's not a weakness then when you look out at the world you'll be like oh nobody has that weakness either wow see how this works so you overcome it in your mind and then the reality shifts or it could be like that family member who is asking you why do you say that the weakness i see in others is the same weakness i see myself now you can go back to her and tell her hey this is this is a reason and then she'll be like oh i see it that's amazing and then look at how much you would have helped her just by talking with you all right all right dr jacob i will think about it think about talking the silver with other people yes you're very welcome for this advice chuck okay [Laughter] okay well i think that's all we have for our show for today uh thank you so much dr jacob for coming on and answering that question thank you listeners for listening and viewers for watching have a good day thank you for listening to the logic and life coaching podcast it would be great if you could take a moment to write us a review for any questions comments or topics that you would like to have addressed on the show email the team at team leadaz.org to learn more about the leadership society of arizona visit us at leadaz.org [Music] you

Channel: Leadership Society of Arizona

Views: 19

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: no influence mentoring, you determine your future, how to find motivation in life, life lessons for teenagers, personal development, what is leadership for students, live the happiest life possible, leadership motivational videos, free leadership course, how to motivate teenagers, leadership society of arizona, jacob kashiwagi, logic and life coaching, life coaching podcast, weakness is a choice, how to embrace your weakness, weaknesses

Id: d1fCVrqtTiw

Length: 24min 41sec (1481 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 06 2021