(epic music) - Here's just in the news, right now folks, hello, here's news,
squash, hold on for brain. Hi here's some more news
with me, Cody hello. Sorry, I don't talk anymore
between these videos, so it takes a moment to shake off the webs, brain, hurt, the space, the thinking part in skull. Hey, have you heard
about this hot new Quibi? Everyone's doing it. Everyone's doing the Quibi. A statement that is so true if you subtract most people
from the word everyone. But despite the fact
that this brand new app is now so unpopular that this video will probably
make no sense in a year, I am still going to talk to you about what happened with Quibi. Because it's incredible. And touches on a lot of larger problems. So that's what this is. It's a big ol' Quibi episode and there's nothing you can do about that. You have no power over me! So I should probably explain
what Quibi actually is. For starters, it turns out that it's not a luxury vibrator brand like I originally assumed. Got all worked up for nothin'. But rather, it's a streaming app launched by veteran
executives Jeffrey Katzenberg and Meg Whitman. The word Quibi stands for quick bite. As in episodes that are
designed to be watched, or bitten, in a short span of time, or quickly. The genres range everywhere from narrative fiction to reality TV. Each episode constitutes as
one of these quick bites, which again can be shortened, or quibi'ed, into the word Quibi. And the official length of a Quibi is somewhere between seven and 10 minutes. And we'll get to all that in just a quibi. But first a quibi of history
about how we got here. Both Whitman and Katzenberg spend years behind the
scenes at Dreamworks. And Katzenberg specifically
has a notable past running Disney's motion picture division in the 80s and 90s. His leadership there most importantly resulted in the renaissance
of their animated features. In other words, Katzenberg
is one of the people you can thank for all your
favorite childhood stories about humans (bleeps) mermaids, or humans (bleeps) monsters, or humans (bleeps) literal cartoon characters, or lions (bleeps). Also, the one with the rug and man I dunno I feel like, I feel like Jafar is doing
something weird with that parrot. So we have a lot of sexy reasons to thank Jeffrey Katzenberg. He contributed greatly to the childhoods of an entire generation who
can't look at a cartoon shoe without feeling hollow and bleak inside. But as it goes with some film people, his career didn't really peak past that. Katzenberg went on to
co-found DreamWorks SKG and his last big hit was probably "Shrek." A movie about humans (bleeps) ogres. And while he certainly
wasn't a failure after that, it sure seemed like he lost his grip on his own industry's future. In 2008 for example, he predicted that the future
of cinema was going to be 3D. And that audiences everywhere would own their own personal 3D glasses that they would call movie glasses. You know, like that ridiculous thing that totally didn't happen. (epic music) And the reason I'm bringing this up, is because 2008 is a year
after Netflix launched. It's the year Hulu became a thing. It's a year that online movie
piracy was a big concern. So we have this obvious foreshadowing to cinema in the digital age. And meanwhile, old-school
executives like Katzenberg are jazzing about 3D glasses like it's the rainbow bridge to Valhalla. So it's kinda no wonder why the film industry was
blindsided by streaming. The straight to video model was traditionally seen as
a vessel for sad sequels like "Jarhead 3" and whichever "Land
Before Time" we're up to. And suddenly, it became the
preferred method for audiences. 14, Jesus Christ, Littlefoot, how have you not starved to death yet? Wasn't that your whole thing? How you were all gonna die? Just die already! How long must you suffer? Will no one end your suffering? Who amongst us will step up and do the dark deed we
all know must be done? Who will pay the unforgivable price so that this tiny (bleeps)
dinosaur will finally know peace? Anyway, so this is the long road to Quibi. A streaming service started by a person who is grotesquely behind the curve when it came to the
future of entertainment. And before even knowing
the details of this app, you have to ask, Why? Why in a time where the market is already saturated
with streaming options, someone thought it was a good idea to add another this late in the game? One that has zero established
brands attached to it. And then you learn exactly what Quibi is, and that why expands like the big bang, from a shotgun, into Littlefoot's brainpan. Releasing him. Peace. For startzos, the
immediate gimmick of Quibi was inherently antithetical to what makes the entire
streaming model successful. Which was that Quibi shows could only be exclusively
watched on your cell phone. The idea was that Quibi wasn't competing for your home television. But rather designed to
inject entertainment into those moments between moments, that you normally spend
browsing social media. Waiting in line, commuting to work, taking a dump, or laying in bed while trying not to think
about what it would be like to get buried alive. The obvious problem is that
people like social media. And no one asked for something completely different to replace it. Those moments Quibi is trying to fill aren't moments we want
to be glued to a TV show. They aren't moments that exist
for specific lengths of time. Which is why they are best filled by a passive, non-committal activity. And of course, one of the most common times
we like to use our phones, is when we're watching TV. Which means that making us
watch shows on our phones takes away the use of our phone. It's the kind of thing anyone
with a phone would know. And could only be comically misinterpreted in a broad and cynical perspective from a very rich and out of touch person. Quibi's understanding of how
young people use their phones seems to have all the
nuance of a Facebook meme shared by that uncle who ain't gonna wear
no (bleeps) damn mask! Please wear masks. In fact, one of the
other features of Quibi is that it completely
disables users' ability to share its content on social media. Apparently unaware that this
is literally the only way shows get popular anymore. While there's been no
official reason for this, I'm guessing it's because
of the very outdated worries about online piracy. A thing that doesn't
really matter anymore. So yeah, it misunderstands everything. And this seems as good of a time as any to note that they spent $1.7
billion dollars to make Quibi. That's enough money to make 485 episodes, or 48 seasons of "Lucifer." A thing you wouldn't want to do, but would still be a
better idea than Quibi. A thing you barely know about because apparently,
they didn't spend a dime of the $1.7 billion on marketing or let people watching advertise for them for free via screenshots
taken on the phone the show is making you watch it on. (epic music) Meanwhile, the popularity of streaming really just comes from the fact that it offers literally everything. Streaming is popular the same
way video stores were popular. Because they're how we watch
things we want to watch. It's not a mystery. The answer is to just make good things. And have them available. People are making
high-quality shows and movies and then we watch them. On our TVs or laptops or
maybe sometimes our phones, if we're like on a plane or something. The only big improvement to streaming is that it enabled people to binge watch new TV
shows commercial-free. But much like the obsession with 3D, there's this weird push to like, change the physical
shape of movies and TV. As if that would somehow
make it automatically better or more fresh. And so along with being
short, Quibi's other big push is that you can watch their shows on both landscape and portrait modes. (car engine roaring) (light music) Ooooh neat! No longer do I have to
watch my favorite movies and shows from down the
hall and through a doorway to get that desired cut-off vertical look. Because you've never really
seen "Lord Of The Rings" until you've watched only the middle part, or earth, of the frame. But for like, I dunno, the last 90 years, it's really just been the one box shape we like to watch things on, right? Like sometimes we go to a big room where we watch the box with strangers, and sometimes we use a box
in our homes with friends. The box changed more to
a rectangle at one point, but that's about it. The box system works just fine. And every time you try to add some kind of gimmick to the box, people are usually like, "Nah,
we're good with this box." So it really comes down to
putting a thing on the box that is also good. Just telling a good story. And to be fair and balanced
and ready for love, Quibi did know that second
part of the equation. Which is why it made
deals for Quibi content with the likes of Steven Spielberg, Guillermo del Toro, Kevin Hart,
Jennifer Lopez, Jason Blum, Queen Latifah, Tom Cruise,
Sam Raimi, Ridley Scott, the Farrelly Brothers, Reese
Witherspoon, Steven Soderbergh, and Mark I-Did-A-Hate-Crime-And-Would-Rather-You-Forgot-About-It Wahlberg. If you were making a movie or a TV show, then these would all
be very smart choices. And even better, if you crammed them all
into one super movie. Like some kind of a
space-horror slapstick comedy where a group of kids
find a sexy fish-person who learns to love themself
as a strong independent woman who also committed a hate crime when they were a teenager in Boston. You could call it "Ku Klux Kod" and it would be, it would be terrible! It would be a bad movie, if I'm being honest. (clears throat) But Quibi isn't making
a movie or a TV show or my (bleeps) fish idea. They're making short-form
narrative and non-fiction content not dissimilar to the things
that go viral on the internet. So you know it's a, it's a little weird that they didn't go to the people who actually have success
making those things. Kinda like how "Saturday Night Live" picked up "The Lonely Island," Quibi should have perhaps made offers to the people
behind internet content like "5-Second Films"
and Red Letter Media, "Every Frame A Painting," like so many people online who make stuff. And I dunno, maybe in a
time where comedy websites are like laying off a lot of people. It would mean there are a
lot of experienced writers and performers looking
for that kind of work. Hey everyone we have a Patreon,
check out the link below. But instead, Katzenberg
called all his industry pals and had them just do the
stuff they would normally do and then just crammed
it into this new format. They made an adaptation of
"The Most Dangerous Game" and a reboot of "The Fugitive," with Kiefer Sutherland. And like, who is going to watch that? What high schooler or on-the-go millennial are you picturing when you decided to make
"The Most Dangerous Game" for your weird streaming app? And because a lot of these Quibis are made by people who normally
make movies or TV shows, they didn't actually do the work to make it fit the mobile format. "The Most Dangerous Game"
is apparently a good movie. But was cut into smaller pieces and then released daily. Meaning that you'd have to wait a day to see the next ten minutes of the movie! Here's a shot of it in the
regular landscape mode. (suspenseful music) And now here it is in portrait mode. (suspenseful music) They didn't change it
to see the whole frame or both of the characters. It's just worse! By the way, those two clips
are courtesy of YouTube, where Quibi released the episode because no one was watching it otherwise. Now this all seems so
purposefully designed to anger audiences, that you have to assume it's
just a big practical joke. And when you combine all this information with the added fact that Quibi lets their creators
retain their copyright, meaning that they can, in a few years, re-release these shows and films on a different non-Quibi format, it's hard to think this
isn't some kind of moving cog to an elaborate "Ocean's
Eleven" style grift. Too big to fully realize. It's hard to think that this was not conceived solely to hemorrhage money and die. It's such an obviously bad idea that you have to wonder if someone is going to
jail because of this. Good god! I just, (sighs) I need a quibi, hold on. (sighs) Hey, speaking of jail, so along with being a bad idea that was also poorly executed, Quibi also had the added bonus
of being shady as (bleeps). Remember what I said
about how they probably should have looked at content
creators on the internet? Well it turns out, Quibi did do that. But only for one show. And for the purposes of stealing an idea. Allegedly. But also, definitely? The Quibi show is called "Memory Hole." And features host Will Arnett looking at funny vintage home videos. And it just so happens to
have the exact same title, premise and graphics as
a popular YouTube series made in 2014 by the website
Everything Is Terrible. The creators of the Quibi
show have since denied this and blocked everyone on social media pointing out the similarities, offering very little explanation for why their show coincidentally, has the same premise, name,
and oddly-specific graphics as the other show. So not only did they not look to
internet creators for talent, but they actively screwed them over. And not like a small internet series, but like a popular one that
people would know about. Making their crime very obvious and dumb? which is a thing they enjoy doing a lot? Like this isn't the only
plagiarism accusation for Quibi, who sure seemed to have stolen
the technology for their app? Is a question I'm asking? So I can't be sued? It's a real beautiful marriage of a bad idea and a
profound lack of good will. And to add to this increasing list of hilariously stupid mistakes, there's an extremely real chance that the entire Quibi, short-form format was designed to work
around union policies. As this one person pointed out on Twitter, by breaking up what
are clearly full movies into small episodes, Quibi
can technically count them as short form programs
with smaller budgets and therefore, pay their crew and writers
less than a feature film. If this is true, it's arguably worse than everything I have
previously mentioned. So to recap, Quibi is a streaming program that takes full movies and shows and then slices them into tiny pieces and forces you to watch them on your phone while disallowing you from
sharing anything on social media. That was seemingly spawned from plagiarism and is possibly exploiting their workers. And has only made headlines
for the sheer ghoulishness and stupidity of their shows. Like I haven't even mentioned that confounding golden arm thing. Or "Murder House Flip," the Quibi show where they do a makeover of a
house someone was murdered in. Their first episode being about the place where a ten year old was shot to death by her father. Nice work, great show, where do I watch? Oh, on my phone? Oh, only on my phone? Pass. So yeah, Quibi failed. And all of this -
everything I mentioned here, was really just a setup for the main point I need to make. Because it all led to this
one incredible headline. Where Jeffery Katzenberg
blamed coronavirus for why Quibi is failing. Not all the other stuff I've mentioned. Not the clear incompatibility
with how we watch TV, or the bad press, or the
terrible business model, or the obscene amount
of money spent on it. No, that wasn't the problem, and will not serve as
a lesson going forward. The real problem, according to this very
rich and out of touch man who for some reason still has power, is that there is a pandemic. A thing that causes people to spend more
time with their electronics. And in fact, has caused cell
phone app downloads to soar! While their specific app is failing. That's the reason Quibi failed. Nevermind that right
before Quibi was released, Katzenberg specifically did an interview where he said he was confident that COVID wasn't going to hurt his app. Nevermind the borderline
poetic final paragraphs of the New York Times interview where the interviewer
points out to Katzenberg that other apps like TikTok are
doing great in the pandemic. And he gets weird and defensive and tells them they are
comparing apples to submarines, as if that's the phrase. His final words being confusion over why they
would even bring it up. And so despite a very
obvious, colossal failure, absolutely nothing was learned. And that kinda sums up how
movie studios are right now. There's a lot of people who had great success
doing one specific thing, who don't seem to understand
how or even care to evolve. But also, they won't just leave. And it's why so many franchises like "Star Wars" and
"Superman" and "Star Trek" and "Jurassic World" seem to have no idea what
to do with themselves. And why instead of making new cartoons, the kind that Katzenberg once championed, Disney is just re-skinning
all their old ones. So we can watch that sweet,
sweet interspecies (bleeps) in live action. God, they're gonna slap hams so hard. And the harsh truth is that maybe these executives
making all these decisions, need to step down. And not just in this one industry. But, a lot of industries. This is a time when young people are really
hurting for money and security and the future. And can't start their lives. And there's these old rich
people who refuse to make room. And have a lot of outdated
and obviously bad ideas they can't let go of. And are making it really hard for us all to move forward. Like there's a whole show about it! On HBO, a network with shows
you can watch on a television. So it's, it's just a bummer. Because their bad ideas
and refusal to move aside is costing a lot of money. And will possibly drag
down the thing they love before the young people even
have a chance to take over. Just driving it all
straight into the ground. Because they refuse to change, or go away. And they're out of touch, and hurting their own alleged goals. Anyway, here's a picture of
Joe Biden for some reason. I just kinda felt putting
that picture up there. Hi, Joe. (epic music) Hey everybody, thank you so much for watching
that video, you're the best! But you'll be bester, if you like and subsciribe. And do the YouTube stuff. Also check out our podcast, Even More News in our
patreon.com/somemorenews. And TeePublic probably. And yes, Trump's worse than Biden, we know, shut the (bleeps) up. But also thank you.
No we don't. Don't look at it. It will go away. Paul Anka told me. Guaranteed it, actually.
I had no intention of watching this full video but I got sucked in.
Great host that obviously did his researched, and got a few laughs.
Who is this guy?? I may have to subscribe.
His emphasis on certain things just had me cracking up. Love it. All extremely insightful and valid points. Really funny delivery kept me watching the whole thing tho.
Dang this is a really informative and well written video. And it's also really funny throughout. Also, how many cuts were there?? I feel like the host just did a high energy monologue for 20 minutes straight without skipping a beat.