Warren Farrell Explains The Wage Gap Myth and Why Men Make More Money In The Boy Crisis

[Music] you [Music] you you it's interesting I talked to some women that say well Mendez used their money to lord over them and in response I'm like I don't see any garbage collectors or taxi cab drivers or any of that what they do that they do that in order to have or to keep their marriages or to get a girlfriend yes that's why they do it it's not to Lourdes money over here and as a man I hear that and I'm affronted with this construct of that I have to work super hard to get one and to keep one yes I mean that's my hair and disposability and so yes what happens with when you when you look at the fact that men who don't who men who aren't married and don't plan to be married that they earn less than women do women who have never been married never have children or at a hundred and seventeen percent of what men who have never been married and never have children earned then you start asking the question well why is that so men are not just inherently oriented toward wanting to earn more money there must be because when they don't plan to be married they actually earn less so what is the process that leads to men earning more and I think maybe a good example of that that my first insight into that came when Gloria Steinem and I were about ready to do am New York and so we get into a cab and we're talking about this issue and the cab driver overhears us and here's that we're going to a TV station and he says are you guys talking about this issue on TV and the issue was that men had the power and women don't men had privilege and women don't this is the year's beef that I was just beginning to question this but I was not articulating it and the cab driver sort of did long pause and he goes um well you know would you want to guess how many hours per week I Drive a cab and he goes we go maybe 40 oh sure so they cut laughs at us and he goes like try 60 to 70 and I'm just the average cab driver driving 60 to 70 hours a week do you think I do this to have power you know or did you call it privilege I like I do this so why do you think I do this and we go I guess to maybe provide for your family and he goes I do this so my kids will not have to do this I do this so my wife has a good home yes but I do the good home thing because I want us to live in a decent school district so my kids have good schools to go to so they don't have to drive cabs when they get older because at the heart of mail disposability is we love others way more than we love ourselves as men so the thing about mail disposability is that like the cab driver we don't men are not patriarchal to lord over its male disposability it's we love others we love our families and our wives our children more than ourselves way more and we face a world war we're told that we're patriarchal were evil and we do this to lord over people yes so let's take a pose take apart this whole concept of patriarchy one of the the shadow side of the women's movement was saying that we live in a patriarchal world in which men made the rules to benefit men at the expense of women now this is one oh this is feminism 101 and every Gender Studies course in the in the world that and which is mostly in developed nations and so we have to take that apartment and the we don't live in a world dominated by patriarchy we lived in a world dominated by the need to survive and to and to survive our mothers were require our expected and pressure to risk their lives in childbirth and and would spend their lives devoted to raising those children that often at the risk of their own lives and so that the feminist movement got but it framed that portion of women's women's role as discrimination against women what the feminist movement missed was the other half of that and the other half of that was dead were expected to be willing to be disposable in war to protect the children that women bore so that we wouldn't have to be under Nazi rule we get but we gave men's social bribes to say you'll be a hero if you die in war and if you dress as a marine and you go off like dad did and you and you fight in the infantry and if you die we will we will say you served your country well and so the myth the bullet little boy grew up saying I can be a hero I can stand out I can be worth but I can be worthwhile I can be worth something and oftentimes before he went off to war he got married so that he was killed the wife would have the benefits of the the benefits from his pension and so on so nobody sent him to their to my to their sons son you're a male your job is to be disposable that completely missed that concept of disposability completely missed all of us what we what we learned was were going to be a hero by being willing to die in war and then when we came home from war we would do whatever we needed to do to earn money that often somebody else would spend while we again died sooner in the coal mine or in the oil rig or so on and that was another part of our disposability so we learned that we would be disposable in war or disposable and work without the word disposable ever being used there for opening up by our not articulating the potential for disposability opening up the door for feminism to think that the extra money that men earned to be willing to be that coal miner that truck driver or that CEO worked 70 80 hours a week and go wherever the company wanted him to go in order to become that CEO to think of that as male privilege and male power as opposed to the male form of discrimination if you're gonna call women's role discrimination which was the wrong thing to do it was that discrimination it was a role but if you're going to call that discrimination you have to call the flipside of that discrimination also the discrimination against men was the expectation and the pressure to earn more money so the feminist movement took the outcome of earning more money and called a privilege and power for men and a conspiracy in the part of this patriarchy to design rules that benefited us and not and not women and miss completely the fact that that from a male point of view that was the pressure and obligation is not about privilege and power no one who feels pressured and obligated to do something feels privileged and powerful doing it power is about the ability to determine our own lives what the women's movement has done is given power to women by saying you if we have to if you have children you have three options option one is to be full-time involved with the children option two is to be full-time involved with the workplace option three is to be due to some combination of both in whatever order you want to do them and option and you guys you have three options to option one is to work full-time option two is to be we wrote to work full-time and option three is to work full-time if I work full-time or do if you're of working-class man work two jobs or if you're a upper-class man work overtime and for the feminist movement to call that discrimination in favor of men as opposed to calling that discrimination against men or the male role that helped us survive and thank you for being the garbage collector thank you for you know for being away moving wherever you needed to move to to to benefit the family and thank you for working overtime and doing psychological take home work of working in the evenings and working weekends when you would have preferred to be with children that is young please thank you for taking that role and we would like to share that burden with you and like you to share the burden of raising children with us and that what is the male response to that the Pew Research Center for the first time in history asked full-time working men whether they would prefer to be full-time with working or full-time with the children and 40 to their astonishment 49% of full-time working men so this is not men unemployed at home full-time working men said that they would prefer to be full-time with the children except they couldn't be because they needed to earn the money and so for half men this is a four this is an unarticulated unsympathetic Rimma nation against men in which the word discrimination against men has never used as it is with women playing their role and men need to stand up and have the courage to say this and what men say to me well if I say this in any mixed group I'm going to just be not I'm not going to be popular you're not very popular gonna be ostracized because he shoves that for a second because when I say - because I was on the board of now and on the board of now a lot of women spoke up and knew that when they spoke up they were going to be thought as of as hating men and they spoke up nevertheless they had the courage to do that and we guys we have to take responsibility we can you know as the title of one of my books I felt so strongly about this I type in one of my books women can't hear what men don't say it is our time for the first time in human history we've been speaking up about a lot of things like getting higher wages but all the things we've been speaking up about are things that let the higher wages protect it on our families we were willing to speak up about the things that protected others but we're not willing to speak up about the things that protected ourselves because we've always learned that any man who complains about something that affects him is a whiner and a complainer women don't fall in love with whining men they fall in love with alpha men and we wanted to be the the man that a woman fell in love with and I'll give a really good example I think of this which is bucket milks first of all understand that about in almost all species about 85% of reproduction occurs from a woman with the alpha male and that species buck outs are one of those species that does that so the females fall in love with the alpha male the alpha male is the male that that grows the biggest antlers to be the biggest antler growing among the buck Elks about 30 to 35 percent of your calcium and nutrients are in minerals are used up so you actually are the weakest of the buck Elks but you appear to be the strongest if the buck elf does not get rid of its ant immediately after mating period it risks dying if the winter comes before it replenishes all those nutrients so this is a really good example I believe of men's weakness being our facade of strength and it's the facade from everybody the male himself thinks he's the strongest when in fact he's the weakest and the male who is dies at war as a judge becomes a general every time he risks his life at war and gets promoted he gets with social bribes and promoted to be disposable yeah and he thinks of me I am the head of you know that my pack and what are you you were the person who's been most vulnerable to the bribe the social bribes for male disposability what we need is every part of the male-female movement to be willing to represent the feminist perspective and more conservative women's perspectives liberal men's perspectives and mayor more conservative men's perspectives no movement on gender can be a balanced loving movement unless it represents all four of those perspectives what we have done to this point in history is take a magnifying glass to women's experience of powerlessness and women's experience of male power but no one has taken a magnifying glass to the male experience of powerlessness and the male experience of female power [Music] [Music] you you

Channel: drwarrenfarrell

Views: 20,369

Keywords: warren farrell, boy crisis

Id: NYTWyMnmYKQ

Length: 13min 41sec (821 seconds)

Published: Thu May 02 2019